"Minnelium Man"
(by Old Blowick)

Respectfully dedicated to the memory of Bryan Mosely

ALFRED ROBERTS, O.B.E. -- R.I.P
"Minnelium Man"

'E weer t'gradely man weer Alf Roberts,
Wun o'th' owd school tha cud seh;
E'd doff 'is 'at t' t'lehdies --
Thass summat tha doan't see t'deh!

'E weer curful ('n' reet frugal wi' it),
No' givvun t' spendin' 'is brass.
Burrin 'is awn weh reet kihnd-'earted
'N' 'ad 'elped wun aw two in t'past.

Us knew 'im at furst as a wid'wer --
'Is fust wihfe, nehmed Phyllis, 'ad gun.
'E fancid Mag Clegg fer 'is secund,
Bu' Maggie sed "Gaw tehke a run!"

Then pollyticks drew 'is attenshun,
Fust as Counsla, then lehta as mur.
'E served Weatherfield wi' distinkshun
Un t'council fer yur afta yur.

'E met oop wi Miss Renee Bradshaw
'Oo run cawna shop un 'er awn;
'E wed 'er, muved in t'shop wi' 'er,
'N' weer 'appyer than 'e'd evva knawn.

But tragidee follered sune afta,
Wen Renee weer killed in t'car crash.
In a cuppul o' yurs 'e met Audreh
'Oo ad t'beady eye un 'is cash.

Well tha awl knaw t'rest uv t'story,
Theer's nobbut a lot left t' seh,
Joos that Alf, Aw-Bee-Ee, 'as noeauw left us -- 
Afta dyin' at 'awm New Yur's Deh.

Saw 'ere's t' t'memry uvva guddun,
A reet Lanky gentleman, 'e,
Tha'll be missed un t'Street, Counsla Roberts --
Us'll no' see naw maw men lihke thee!

Sum tawk uv a grehte Corrie 'Eaven,
Oop awva t'cloods, weh oop thur;
If theer is, then thur's wun thing fer certun --
Theh'll be asting Eawr Alf t' be mur!

CUNNING FIEND of BLOWICK
Camrose, AB
Monday, March 01, 1999 at 23:11:21 (GMT/BST)