Wot Dosta Want fer Chrismus?
(by Old Blowick)

"Saw wot dosta want, luv, fer Chrismus?"
T'owd lass ast me joos t'utha deh.
"Tha cud do wi' sum new socks 'n' ankies . . .
They's gorrem un sehle at t'Beh."

"Socks 'n' 'ankies?" Ah sed, 'ackuls risin',
"Bu' thass wot tha gehve me las' year!
Tha's no' blest wi' mooch 'maginehshun!"
'Er response weer "Ah'll give thi t'thick ear!"

"Well tha ast me, tha knaws," Ah sed meekly,
"Burrah din't 'av naw chance t' seh
Joos worra wud lihke fer a prezzie,
As allus, tha wonsta oeauwm weh!"

"Ah'll tellee summat fer nowt, lad!"
('Er's knawn fer 'er quick repartee)
"If tha gives me mutch moor uv thi cheek noeauw,
Tha'll end oop wi' nowt oonda t'tree!"

Ah cud tell 'er full o' t'spirit
Uv peace 'n' gudwill 'n' awl sutch.
"Nay, lass," Ah sed awl contrihte lihke,
"Ah'm nobbut astin' fer mutch. 

Bu' me Mam allus bawt me t'Beano,
'N' 'appun t'Dandy as well --
T'Chrismus Anyool edishuns,
T'kihnd as moast newsehjunts sell."

"Wot, me spend me brass on sutch roobish,
'N thi wi' naw 'ankies t' spur?"
('Er noeauw 'ad Nora Batty luke on!)
"Tha cahn't wihpe tha nawse wi' a Dandy,
'N' t'Beano's naw gradely futwur!"

Tha'll tehke wot tha gets 'n' tha'll lihke it,
Ah woan't 'ear anuttha werd sed!
Weer dosta pick oop sutch nawshuns?
'Appun tha's no' reet in th'ead!"

Saw fer Chrismus Ah knaw worrah'm gerrin --
Socks 'n' sum ankies! 'N' Ah'll tell
Thi summat else if tha's lisnin':
Ah mihte get sum undies as well!

BLOWICK DE LA MUR
Camrose, AB - Sunday, December 07, 1997 at 22:42:55 (EST)