T'BEST AH CON MANNIDGE THIS YUR!
Ah've 'eard it said, 'n' it's true, Ah'm sure,
That sum uv me owd mehtes've ast
"Wot's 'appuned t' Owd Blowick? Why doan't t'lad wreet
t'Christmus pawm as 'e 'as dun in t'past?"
Well, luke 'ere, me owd muckas, Ah want thi t' knaw
Tharrah've triehd 'n' Ah've triehd, wi' naw joy,
T' put t'pen t' pehpa 'n' wreet thi sum lihnes --
A smawl gift frum this Lancasheer boy.
Aye, Ah triehd 'n' Ah triehd, bu' theer weer nowt theer
In me poor mudduld brehn, dosta knaw?
It's 'appun a cehse uv that theer "wrihta's block" --
Thass summat Ah've norrad afaw!
Aw 'appun Ah'm joos gerrin' too owd fer yon,
(As Ah confihdid t' t'missus las' neet)
"Tha's reet theer, 'n' naw mistehke," 'er repliehd,
Wi' summat Ah'd best no' repeat!
"Tha's a reet owd misry this Chrismus,"
'er said,
"'Bah 'umbug' be thy motter noeauw!"
Sad t' seh, burrah cudden deny it, tha knaws,
Saw Ah dirrent, no' wontin' a roeauw.
It's joos tharrit doan't sim lihke Chrismus sum'ow --
Ah doan't see mooch gudwill t' men
Aw t'peace as weer promised ba th'ehnjuls.
Oh aye, it weer promised -- but wen?
Awl t'news Ah 'ear be 'baht missiles,
'N' wars croppin' oop 'ere 'n' theer.
Well it joos doan't sim reet, norrat Chrismus,
'N' it doan't sim t' bring us mooch cheer!
Theh seh Ah'm in a depreshun,
If thass reet, well Ah 'awp it woan't last,
Burrah fihnd tharrah gets reet nostalgic,
Allus dwellin' on Chrismusses past.
Lihke yon stoof tharrah wroate baht las' yur --
Remembrin' thawse things lung agaw,
Such as grottaws wi' owd Father Chrismus,
'N' things us did as kids afaw t'war.
Burrah can't kip wrihtin' t'sehme things,
Tha'd sune get fed oop wi' mooch moor;
'N' Ah can't cum oop wi' owt diffrunt --
Me pawtry this yur be reet poor!
Saw 'appun this yur Ah woan't bottha
T' put me nostalgia in vurse.
Ah'll wehte 'til Ah'm feelin' moor gradely --
'N' 'awp tharrit doan't get naw wurse!
Saw instead uv t'pawm fer Chrismus
(Ah'm not kippin' trieyin', naw fear!)
Ah'll joos send these greetin's frum me 'n' R Mam:
"Merry Chrismus 'n' 'Appy New Yur!"
CUNNING FIEND Camrose, AB, (ex-Blowick)
Wednesday, December 23, 1998 at 20:27:22 (GMT/BST)
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