Ah'm sittin' 'ere pondrin' 'n' frettin'
Lihke wun does t'owder wun gets;
Thinkin' uv things as they wunce weer --
'Appy tihmes us ne'er forget.
But memry's t'reet funny thing, bain't it?
Ah ferget warra did yistadeh,
Bu' rememba lung-gun dehs uv child'ood!
"'E's losin' it!" Ah 'ear thi seh!
'N' 'appun Ah am, thaw Ah 'awp not!
(Ah'm nobbut a yung'un at 'eart!)
Burrah miss t'owd dehs 'n' Owd England
'N' memrees wi' witch Ah'll no' part.
Chrismus be tihme fer nostalger
(Ah doan't think tha'll seh nay to that),
'N' nostalger be summat Ah'm gud at --
Awl them memrees, Ah've gorrem doeawn pat!
Bu' wot con Ah tellee baht t'owd dehs
Ah've no' sed alreddy in t'pome
Ah pawsted t' G.B. las' Thersdee
Recawlin' them theer dehs back 'ome?
Ah've toald thi uv child'ood in Blowick
In t'depreshun dehs theer afore t'war,
'N' 'ow it awl chehnged fer t'better
'N' them 'appy tihmes us awl saw
In t'fiftees -- bah 'eck them weer gudduns!
'N' music then weer a reet treat!
'Enry 'All, 'Arry Roy 'n' Owd Ambrose.
'N' utthas 'oo'll nevva be beat!
Burrah'm gerrin aweh frum me subjeck --
Baht Chrismus Ah mus' wreet sum rhyme!
Ah'm no' findin' it easy, Ah tellee --
Saw 'appun Ah'm jus' past me prime!
T'werds, theh doan't cum lihke theh ewst to,
Ah've no inspirehshun, tha knaws!
It meh cum t' givvin' oop pawtry
'N' ternin' oeaut nobbut plehn prawse.
Then it doan't avta rhyme -- mus' be easier
Thun rackin' me brehn awl t'tihme,
'N' givvin' missen th'awful 'eadehke --
Noeauw that wud be t'bloody crihme!
"Bu' nay, lad, tha gives oop too easy,"
Sehs t'Conshunss, "Tha promist tha wud
Wreet t'lasses t'pawm fer Chrismus!
Nah then, doan't tha think that tha shud?"
It's awlreet fer t'Conshunss t' seh yon,
Burree doan't give t'lad enny clue
Asta wot Ah shud wreet, nay norrim!
Saw Ah'm mekkin' this promiss t' you:
Ah'm gerrin nawweer wi' me pawtry
Bu' moor inspirehshun Ah'll seek,
'N' Ah'll do me best for thi, Ah promiss,
'N' cum oop wi' t'new pawm bah necks week!
CUNNING 'N' FRUSTREHTID FIEND
neverneverland,-
Saturday, December 11, 1999 at 20:35:00 (EST)
If you have any archived material suitable for inclusion in the Chronicles, please email it to me: digger@corrie.net