Well, you DID ask for it (at least one or two of you did!).
Theh sed "Lad, wreet t'pawm fer Chrismus --
Tha's dunnit afaw, in t'past!"
Bu' last yur Ah thowt as Ah'd mehde it
Quihte clear tharrit wud be me last!
Burrah've givvun sum thowt t' t'matta
'N' rekkun Ah mihte joos as well --
Ah moos keep awl t'lasses 'appy
It mihte evun peh off, 'oo con tell?
Ah 'ad a reet shock 'ere this mawnin'
Wen Ah luked at t'calenda un t'wall
'N' saw t' me utta amehzmunt
That theer's 'ardly naw tihme left at awl!
Ah'd best get me brain inta geeya
'N' staht wreetin' t'rhyme reet aweh
'Cos in less thun a week ('eavun 'elp us!)
It'll be 'ere -- Aye, Chrismus Deh!
Saw this 'ere is awl Ah con mannidge,
Ah knaw it's no' mutch, Ah'll admit,
Burrah 'awps wen tha reads it tha'll awl seh
"Bah gum, yon lad's dun 'is bit!"
* * * * *
Ah'm no' dreamin' t'deh o' Wihte Chrismus
Lihke Owd Bing ewsta sing in 'is song . . .
Nay, Ah've 'ad joos enuff o' yon wihte stoof
'Cos t'winter's oeaut 'ere are too long!
Ah'd mutch rahtha dream uv th'awshun
'N' parm trees a-bendin' in t'breeze,
'N' t'surf cummin' awva t'beach -- aye,
A Chrismus doeauwn in t'South Seas!
Noeauw theer be t'dream thass werth dreamin',
T' 'eck wi' t'glissnin' snaw!
It's nowt lihke it's cracked oop t' be -- not
Wen t'tempritchur's Fawty belaw!
Tha knaws wot tha con do wi' yon treetops
A-glissnin', 'n' slehbells 'n' awl!
Nay, gimme sum warmth 'n' sum sunshihne
'N' gie o'er awl yon deckin' uv awls
Wi' boughs uv 'olly aw owt else --
Leave yon t' t'chap as wroate t'song
(Ah'll bet 'e din't live in Alberta --
If 'e did then 'e got t'werds wrong!)
Eawr Mam sez "Tha's naw Chrismus spirit,
Bah 'umbug" be thi mottaw noeauw!"
'N' 'appun t'owd lass be reet saw
Ah'll agree 'cos Ah doan't want naw roeauw.
Burrang un a mo' -- 'oo's at t'door theer,
A'ringin' t'bell? Well, Ah'm blawed
If it ain't me three grandkids (God bless 'em!)
'N' betwixt 'em theh're carryin' t'lawd
Uv boxes awl tied oop wi' ribbons --
Prezzies fer me 'n' t'owd lass!
Us 'ave saw mutch t' give thanks fer
Saw Ah'll no' let th'oppertunity pass
T' seh: Friends, joos ignaw worrah've joos wroate,
Ah weer wrung -- it's a reet gradely tihme!
'Appy Chrismus t' awl this 'oo read this
'N' accept this 'ere greetin' in rhyme.
Ah knaw Ah'm a reet owd curmudgeon
Burrappun tha knaws that too well!
'N' nex' yur Ah'll try t' do betta
Wi' this 'ere Chrismus pawm -- 'oo con tell?
Dorothy joins me in wishing you all a very blessed Christmas. May the peace and joy of this season be yours now and throughout the coming year. -- Frank
If you have any archived material suitable for inclusion in the Chronicles, please email it to me: digger@corrie.net