(Precursor to) Christmas 2000
(by Old Blowick)

Owd Blowick from Camrose, AB wrote on December 7, 2000, 22:55: 
--

T'uttha deh Eawr Mam sez "Lad,
Dosta no' gaw un 'Net naw moor,
'N' pawst un t'Corrie Guessbuke theer
Wi' reet daft pawms as tha did afoor?"

"Nay, lass," Ah sez, "Ah gehve oop yon
Sum tihme agaw -- Ah thowt tha knew"
('Er doan't miss mutch, bah 'eck 'er doan't,
'N' wen 'er 'as, them times weer few!)

"Ah think tha shud pawst t'pawm," 'er sed,
Fer Chrissmus, as tha's dun in t'past."
"Nay, nay," Ah sez, (t' naw avehl,
'Er woan't let gaw -- 'er'll mek it last!)

'Er'll keep un 'arpin' un this 'ere
'Til Ah give oop! Th'ownly weh
T' shurrer oop wud be fer thi
T' mek it plehn t' 'er 'n' seh:

"T'lad's reet, Eawr Mam, us duzzun want
Naw Chrissmus pawm!" Saw 'elp me oeaut
'N' cum on 'ere wi' wun accord
'N' rehze tha voices in full shout:

"Leave t'lad alawm, Eawr Mam, 'n' 'ear
Us seh 'enuff's enuff!'
Then wuz then, 'n' noeauw be noeauw,
Wur awl grawn oeaut uv t'silly stuff!"

Saw if tha'll awl do yon fer me
Tha'll awl be givin' me a weh
Oeaut uv wreetin' pawm this yur,
So cum un, lasses, wotsta seh?"

* * * * * 

Burrun reflehkshun -- 'arf a mo --
Jus' lemme think a wihle upon it . . .
If tha insists, Ah think Ah mihte
Jus' pen a li'l Chrissmus sonnit.

But doan't tell t'owd lass -- er'll awnly think
'Er's wun aggen! Saw if Ah do
Wreet thi a pawm, lerrus be shoowa
Tharrit must steh 'twixt me 'n' you!