Exit T' Li'l Wehf 'N' Streh
(by Old Blowick)

Ah 'eard that Zoe's gun, pore lass!
It's nobbut moor thun worrus guessed. 
Eawr Ashley, lad, tha greef'll pass,
Tha knaws tha allus did thi best,

'N' moor thun moast'd do, me lad!
Us knaws tha's sad, 'n' thass awlreet.
Tha's got t'gud 'eart, thaw brawken noeauw!
Cum, cum, anutha lass tha'll meet

'Oo'll mek thi 'appier thun Zoe did.
'N' tha desurvs mooch better, lad;
'N' tihme'll 'eal -- aw aye, it's true --
Burras fer noeauw, tha's feelin' bad.

Ah 'awp sum'll gie a thot fer t'lass.
(Er'll nobbe missed lihke sum, thass true!)
T'lass'ud 'ad th'ard raw t' 'aw,
'N' 'appy tihmes fer 'er weer few.

It sims theer's nawwun 'as t'gud werd on 'ere
Fer t'lass. Bu' theh thot Derek a jawk --
'Tis awnly sin 'e died, pore lad,
'E's gehned sum lehte respeck frum fawk.

Ah knaw wotsta thinkin', tharrah do,
That this 'ere lass weer daft t' gaw
Wi' sutch a boonsh as that theer cult;
Burrapun it jus' gaws t' shaw . . .

'Er weer moor suseptubul thun moast.
'Oo knaws wot weer in t'lass' mihnd?
'Er weer moor suseptabul thun moast;
Less trieh t' nobbe too unkihnd

'N' stand in joogemunt un t'lass,
'Appun's awl fer t'best, tha knaws.
Burrah cud uv wished fer grehdlier chap
Thun that theer creepy Ben, Ah spawse.

Saw furwell, Zoe, awl' t'best
T' thi frum wotchers uv t'Street.
'N' buck oop, Ashley, cum un lad --
Tha'll mek a betta match awl reet.

Saw 'ere's t' Zoe, 'n' 'appyer dehs --
Nomutch uv t'lihfe 'er 'ad, pore lamb;
'Er weer nobbut lukin' fer affeckshun, see,
'N' nawboddy theer e'er gehve a damn.

Lessawp weer evva t'lass ends oop,
Er'll be moor 'appy thun in t'past.
Us awps worrevva cums 'er weh,
Er'll be wi' 'er Shannon at t'last.