Episode 753 Monday 4 March 1968

Background: Elsie's marriage to Steve Tanner has broken up and she's back from America, tali between her legs, holed up in her house licking her wounds.

The episode begins with Val scrubbing her doorstep and Hilda curious about what's going on behind the door of N.11. Val hasn't seen Elsie for a couple of days which sparks Hilda's sensationalist imagination as she pictures Elsie in a pool of blood strangled by one of her own 15 deniers (stockings). Val assures Curious Cat that she's heard Elsie moving around and seen glimpses through the windows but anything else is one of their business. And anyway, unless Elsie wants her help, there isn't much she can do, Val reminds Hilda.

Over in the pub, Len has just finished doing some maintenance when Hilda comes in, eager for a gossip about Elsie. "It's tragic, a woman like her..." she begins. Annie and Len try to ignore her but she won't give up until on of them reluctantly asks what she's on about. Gleefully, Hilda describes Elsie's self imposed isolation, roaming through the house with a wild look in her eye, hair streaming down her back looking like someone demented! (LOL Can you just hear Hilda enthusiastically declaring all this with a wide eyed look of a cat about to stalk it's prey?) Len snaps to attention, knowing there is actually some truth behind all the exaggerations. He subtly insults Hilda for gossiping so Annie, no aversion to a good session herself (though she wouldn't want you to think of her as a common gossip. Oh no! She's just maintaining a interest in the troubles of her dear friends, right?) brings Hilda to the living quarters to continue the discussion. Len gathers up his tools just as Jack arrives up from the cellar. Len mentions that it's March 4th, Elsie's birthday and he wonders if she realizes it. (Now the book says March 5, 1923, making her 45 and perhaps I've just heard him wrong but it certainly sounded like he said "fourth". I lost a quiz answer on this one because of the inconsistency! LOL)

The scene shifts to the corner shop where David is attempting to teach Miss Nugent how to whistle. Emily is off somewhere with a picnic basket but has come to return a magazine with girly pictures in it to David which he had left in the bath (Emily is lodging in the shop flat which shares facilities with the other living quarters at the back of the shop, or vice versa). Ken arrives with a message from Val for Irma. David asks Ken about desirable desert island fantasies but Ken, diplomatic and knowing Irma's in the back listening, professes eternal dedication to his wife and children. Ken is dismayed to find out that David is planning to play some football this afternoon, risking further injury to his bad leg but David is full of confidence.

Irma arrives at Val's and discovers Val has recently acquired custody of some furniture Dennis needs stored until his imminent return.

Emily arrives to lure Miklos away for a picnic lunch. He's chuffed and they find a spot amid the rubble and play "imagination", pretending the coffee is Hungarian wine. They discuss being happy or not in their jobs. He feels a bit futile in his job, tearing down buildings but ever the optimist and feather de-ruffler, Emily points out that there would be no place to build new of the old wasn't torn down.

Back at No11, Len is pounding on the door and insisting he be let in while Val watches. He shouts that he's not going away. Hilda hears the ruckus and appears on her doorstep, taking a "neighbourly interest" while Len threatens to break the door down. Finally, Elsie appears and lets him in.

She's wearing a slip and dressing gown, hair indeed unkempt and down her back and the house looks a tip. She's depressed, tired and exhausted and looks it too as Pat Phoenix appears for once in smudgy makeup and messy hair. She wearily proclaims the last few weeks have been a long, long night. She isn't interested in talking but he persists. What happened? He drags her to a mirror roughly for a look at the state she's in. He backs down and gently urges her to open up. Eventually she does, admitting she's left Steve and initially putting much of the blame on herself. Raging and crying, she bitterly describes her life in America with Steve. The isolation, the feeling of not belonging in his crowd... She was homesick and didn't try to hide it. They argue and fight as Len tries to drag her out of her self pity and depression, knowing if she doesn't let it all out, she'll be lost.

She continues to blame herself, praising Steve, saying she just wasn't good enough for him. Len decides to bait her, suggesting the stupid berk, someone who had money, looks and status had to marry some grotty old has-been from the other side of the tracks. He finally gets a rise out of her with that and she screams and rages until the truth spills out - Steve Tanner is a swine and she collapses in Len's arms in tears, sobbing out the real story. She describes Steve as cold inside. He was a stranger to the U.S. having been away so long and Elsie thought that would make them closer, Us against the world. But it was "her" and "them". It was like he'd never been away, like a wall came down and she was on the outside. She felt so out of place but Steve wasn't patient to wait for her to learn all these unfamiliar things like bridge and golf. She admits it wasn't all her fault but their differences needn't have mattered but he refused to communicate. He just couldn't find anything to talk to her, his wife, about!

Elsie remembers that things were ok at first but she was soon no longer a novelty and he started stopping away more and more. Could have been women, but could also have been booze or cards, she never knew because he wouldn't talk or even fight about anything. Len, hurting for her, vents his anger at Steve but Elsie returns to her original tact, taking some of the blame for seeing the danger signals and ignoring them and marrying him anyway.

Len, playing Devil's Advocate for a moment, wonders if she ran away too soon. Maybe if she stayed a bit longer they might have been able to work things out but then the rest of the story is revealed. Steve volunteered for a posting in South America against her wishes and he didn't want her to accompany him! He wasn't even willing to work some sort of relationship out with her, even if it was just friends. He'd done what he wanted for too long to change and there's an end to it. Selfish Bastard! Len fumes and then closes his own eyes, wincing at the pain that oozes from her voice as she gasps out Steve's words..."His first mistake was leaving me 20 years ago and his second was coming back to me". She flogged her engagement ring, packed her bags and here she is, a grotty old has-been back in her own midden. End of story. Her face is washed with tears and twisted in pain and she sobs in Len's arms, his heart breaking for her.

Diane Johnston

Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Episode 778 Wednesday 29 May 1968

Background: David and Irma Barlow have emigrated to Australia. Maggie, Les and Gordon Clegg now have the corner shop. Jerry Booth is getting ready to leave the Street after the breakdown of his marriage to Myra. But first, he has duties to perform as Best Man for Dennis Tanner who's marrying Jenny Sutton today!

So. It's Dennis's wedding day, well, morning. The wee dark hours of the morning to be exact. Denise creeps into his mother's bedroom and wakes her up. No, nothing's wrong. He knows it's 5 to 5, yes, and he starts chattering on about birds singing at dawn and other philosophies of the human condition. (Mavis could learn a thing or two from this lad!) He's been awake all night it seems, solving the problems of the world. Incredulous, Elsie stares at him and sees his isn't going to go away none too soon.

Down the street, Jenny too is up with the birds, quietly sipping tea. Minnie's heard her, well actually Bobby (the cat) did and woke her. She kindly tells her it's not uncommon, being wakeful before your wedding. She got up and black leaded her mother's fireplace the night before her own wedding. More tea is poured when Ena comes through the door, apparently at Bobby's "invitation" as well. (Cats DO know when to sort out their humans' needs!) Jenny isn't fretting but she does have something on her mind...How much are non-stick pans? (Well at least her wee-hours mind bending was more practical than Dennis's!)

Over at the Tanner's, Dennis is on about praying mantis's while Elsie and Linda, now awake beside her, grasp teacups. Linda wonders why the tea tastes so off. It's coffee, her mother groans, still struggling to stay awake. Take no notice of him, she recommends, whatever he says, say "Yes". She's flabbergasted, however, when Dennis actually gets serious and thanks her - in spite of everything, she's made a success of dragging them up. Well Done! But then he's off floating again.

Later on Ena is grilling the new shop owner, Maggie, in much the same way we saw her in episode One, quizzing Florrie Lindley. Maggy is much more evasive about personal questions though. Lucille pops in to fetch Ena for Dennis but he arrives, distracted, to send Lucille on another errand and has nearly forgotten that he wanted of Ena in the first place until reminded. All it was, was a confession of a boyhood prank he was guilty of but of which she already knew because his other two cohorts ratted him out at the time! He refunds the shilling he had stolen and takes off again to do a little more soul cleansing elsewhere. This sorted, Ena continues interrogating Maggie like a dog with a bone but gets nowhere even though Ena is sure Maggie's husband's name, Les Clegg, is familiar. She leaves with a suspicious squint.

Elsie helps pin Linda's skirt hem but it doesn't go without a squabble. Little in the Tanner household ever does! Len sits by patiently as the women and Dennis scramble around. He and Elsie chat about marriage and he repeats something i'm sure he's said a number of times, offering to make it a double wedding if she gives the word (Nellie left him a few years ago and is listed as having died in 1964).

Albert was commissioned to buy the group wedding gift from the Rovers patrons. He has chosen carefully and has arrived at the pub to show off a large and very imposing stag's head which has a full rack of impressive antlers! Mrs. Walker tactfully professes, "It's different" but Mrs. Sharples, as always, tells it like it is - it's downright gormless! Albert defends his choice. Jerry arrives, ready to perform his best man duties. Jack takes him to one side for a quiet good-bye and good luck as Jerry is leaving the street today. (not for good, though, he'll be back as houseboy in residence for Len and Ray Langton). Emily arrives with boutonnieres for all, rightly declaring the Dennis's of this world only come in ones!

A fact which i'm sure his mother is eternally grateful as she wrestles with his tie and lapel flower. He worries that he's not told Jenny he was to be in Bristol tonight which will postpone any honeymoon. Linda hurries them along. Dennis again thanks his mum sincerely. (Mark this on yer calendars, it doesn't happen very often!) Elsie wishes him well with a kiss and then gazes sentimentally at a family photo which includes the children's father.

Friends and neighbours gather at the reception while the wedding party waits at the registry office, watching a newly married couple emerge from the office arguing. The actual ceremony is witnessed by the immediate families, best man Jerry and matron of honour Linda. Dennis looks a sharp-dressed man in his dark suit and jenny is wearing a new print dress. Vows are repeated, proud parents Elsie and Eddie Sutton watch with broad smiles and sentimental tilts of their heads as the deed is done. Henceforth you are both known as man and wife. Minnie Caldwell is waiting outside when the happy party comes out, just so she can toss forbidden confetti, no matter what the sign on the wall says!

At the reception dinner, the guests chat about Jerry's departure until Jerry makes his speech. He reads telegrams, the final of which is from Jed Stone. He concludes by toasting. His toast is complimentary but tinted with a bit of foreboding for the future and how much love really means when the cards are on the table. "You've only cracked it if t'other one wants *you* to love *them*. If not, nothing you can do about it". Speaking from better experience, he charges them to make it work. Emotion overcomes him as he wishes them all that they wish for themselves, the rest being their responsibility. At that, the guests raise their glasses a bit uncertainly and toast the happy couple. Jerry speaks up and says he's off now but nobody notices so he slips out with a glance back at his friends and neighbours, regret flashing across his face.

Dennis worries how to tell Jenny about Bristol in a tactful manner. Jenny's dad says a few awkward but affectionate words. Dennis nervously thanks everyone and lets slip in his speech that the wedding night must be postponed. Instead of slamming her bouquet upside his head (like i would have done!) she's sweetly supportive.

That night, Jenny beds down on Minnie's settee, cocoa in hand.

Diane Johnston

Written by JACK ROSENTHAL Directed by BILL PODMORE

Episode 786 Wednesday 26 June 1968

Stan has agreed to give Elsie Tanner a driving lesson but they've been out all night and Hilda is chomping at the bit to get a piece of each of them. It's early morning. A large car with an L-type registration slowly lurches around the corner from Viaduct Street and stops in front of Number 13. Elsie gets out of the passenger side and gingerly closes the door, wincing at the sound it makes. Stan and Elsie take great pains to tread carefully but they are startled by the clatter of milk bottles >from across the road. A glance tells t hem that Mrs. Sharples has spotted their early morning return. They exchange a rueful look before going their separate ways.

Meanwhile, Hilda is pacing in the Rovers, worried half sick. Annie enjoys making untoward suggestions as to what is really the reason for Stan and Elsie's absence together in the moonlight. Jack tries to calm Hilda and deter her from ringing the police and he warns Annie off continuing to suggest such immoral implications. Jack feels the car's probably only broken down. Hilda finally succumbs to Annie's gleeful crowing about compromising situations by darkly promising to "compromise Elsie Tanner when I see her, where it hurts the most!" Annie with a superior grin and a nose in the air loftily assures Hilda that whatever they excuse it, she's sure Mr. Ogden will have more imagination than to say they ran out of petrol (ensuring that precise excuse, no doubt).

Who walks into the Rovers with his head down and eyes pleading, but Stan, who sheepishly announces, Yep! You guessed it, ran out of petrol! The petrol gauge was wrong and they were stranded miles from anywhere. Hilda insists on knowing what they did all night. Stan smiles nostalgically when he explains that they played "chuck stones" (a childhood game I will assume), quite enjoying themselves at it, too.

A young teenage married couple have moved into Number 3, Dickie and Audrey Flemmings. Dickie Flemming takes delivery of a nice new swivel arm chair. It seems to be a surprise to him.

Elsie is in the car again, this time behind the wheel with Gary Bailey in the passenger seat, ready for another lesson a mere 3 hours after coming home from the last one! Gary begins to explain the dials on the dashboard when Miss Nugent pops her head in the window. Oops, Elsie's forgotten Emily was supposed to be her instructor this morning. Never mind, get in anyway, two heads are better than one. Emily shyly accepts the invitation and climbs into the back. All are ready and Elsie is advised to just keep on the straight and narrow causing her to throw her head back and laugh "Me, love? That'll be the day!" and she starts the car!

Len has just moved into Number 9 which he bought from Ken and Val who are now living in the maisonettes. Mrs. Clegg has delivered a small box of groceries as a favour. Len is really quite kind to her and urges her to get out f the house a bit more. (Her husband, Les, is in hospital for alcoholism, drying out - very humiliating so Maggie has been keeping her head down and out of sight socially these days.) Len sympathizes and suggests a half hour of company in the pub might do her some good but she shies away from that ideal. Look what public houses did to her Les! (I say, Look what Les did to himself and Len's suggestion that she should have gone with him to keep him on his lead would have made no difference!!!) Len thinks she needs to try to mix more with her neighbours for her own good. "We don't sympathize with people round here, we understand 'em" She thanks him for his concern. He tries to tease her into dropping in to the pub so she reluctantly agrees to come this evening.

Hilda is done cleaning at the Rovers and is ready to pick bones with Elsie Tanner. Jack points out that she's gone off in her car again so how does Hilda expect to catch her? All business, Hilda brusquely buttons her cardy and declares "If need be, I'll get a bloomin' taxi!" LOL!

In the corner shop, Audrey Flemming describes all the lovely furniture she's seen in a shop to Ena who's been helping out behind the counter. Audrey's even bought something for her new husband (for some reason, I just can't bear to say "Her Dickie"!) It's a wicker elephant! It's being delivered today. Ena is nonplussed for a moment but recovers smartly just as Dickie comes in, delighted with this morning's delivery. She's horrified to hear he's been sitting on it! Ken saunters in, carrying - yes a wicker elephant the size of a loaf of bread. (THIS she needed delivered???) Ken explains the delivery mix-up just as we hear the squeal of tires careening around a corner outside.

What in creation is that?? "That" is Elsie Tanner's driving lesson screeching down the street with Hilda screeching down the cobbles after them at a fair pace. Hilda stops into the shop gasping for breath and tells the curious crowd she's going to wrap that heap of junk round "Her" flamin' neck.

Later, while supping a half in the Rovers, Hilda repeats her threats about the woman who's after her husband! Jack tries placating Hilda for making mountains out of molehills only to be countered by Annie's favourite cliché about no smoke without fire! Ena stirs it further by accusing Hilda of knocking back several halves of "Dutch courage" in order to face Elsie. Amid Hilda's protests that she's not afraid of Elsie, another half is ordered. Well, she's only thirsty she tells them all defensively.

Elsie, Emily and Gary finally arrive back home. Elsie's very self-satisfied but Emily wastes no time jumping back onto solid ground., reeling and gasping as if that lesson were on a roller coaster! Not much difference by the looks of her face which would probably be green with fear if this had been filmed in colour. Quite an experience, really as Emily likens it to a Monte Carlo rally. And decides it would be best if only Gary did the teaching from now on. Two instructors might be too confusing and she rushes off so as not to be asked again to help out. Elsie is so pleased with her "progress" that she decides to apply for her test. Before she can drive off for more practice, Gary, having finally recovered his strength, escapes and threatens to leave the county if she's going to have a legal license.

Gary decides a good strong whiskey is in order. Hilda, with two empty glasses in front of her, is fueled up and ready for take-off now that she realizes Elsie has returned and heads down the cobbles. Annie surmises that they are about to witness something not unlike the gunfight at OK Corral!

Steady on! Here she comes, accusing Elsie of wickedly scheming to get her claws into Stan. Elsie's good humour soon turns to a sarcastic offense, pointing out, as people are gathering round, that Stan could have easily come home if he'd wanted to. That does it! Hilda lets fly verbally and now Elsie is accused of pinching everyone else's fella cause she can't hold one of her own, this along with slings and arrows about Elsie's age and tendencies to promiscuity. Elsie is cool and clearly has the upper hand as Stan stands silently by, letting he and his wife be insulted. Elsie's parting show was wonderful and cut to the quickwhen Hilda proudly defends herself as staying with one man all these years, Elsie spits out "It's not a wonder, has nay other man ever looked twice at you?" Stan puts a comforting (but lily livered) arm around his wife as Elsie swans into her house amid the buzzing neighbours. Ken tells an astonished Maggy Clegg that this sort of thing is a regular occurrence, a local custom almost!

Ken returns to Number 3 where Val is having a friendly cuppa with the Flemmings and he defends his nosiness as a mere interest in humanity. Val rather thinks Hilda Ogden screaming at Elsie Tanner in the street could hardly be called humanity. But the are curious as to the cause which makes Ken laugh and he says Elsie won on points and thanks Dickie for helping him with his car. He's now got some chap coming round to hopefully buy the car which he has sarcastically named Flattery because it gets them nowhere.

Outside, Elsie shoos the remainder of the crowd away from her doorstep. They're probably waiting around for round 2! She gets back into the car and rather than let her go alone, poor old Gary gets in , resigned to his fate. Inside Number 3, the two couples are laughing until the sickening sound of metal crashing into metal is heard from outside. Predictably, Elsie has backed into Ken's car! Ken silently inspects it, knowing the potential buyer is due any minute.

In the pub that night, Emily chats to Annie about the crash. Annie cuts herself off in mid-statement about irresponsible people to welcome a very tentative Mrs. Clegg, who's there to help Len celebrate moving into Coronation Street. Maggie orders lemonade and they all drink to Len. Elsie arrives for a G&T and Len delights in teasing her about her all nighter with Stan. Elsie sternly informs him that she and Stan and Stan were playing "fivesies". Len comments "Ey I've heard it called *some* things" but she pulls the stones out of her coat pocket for proof. Mrs. Clegg tells Annie about a smart young looking pensioner, Mrs. Spicer who has just moved into the flat next to Mrs. Sharples.

Ken and Val arrive and chat with Len about this and that. Ken thinks the young Flemmings are "strange" and just playing at marriage (well he's probably taught older than that at school!) Sensibly, Val scolds that it's none of their business. Ken witters on philosophically about the study of man, or boy and girl in this case. He gossips a bit more about the young couple's comings and goings as well.

Meanwhile, in the shop, Ena is getting ready to close up but the elegant Mrs. Spicer points out that it is still technically 4 minutes until closing time (7 o'clock) and she'd like a low calorie loaf please. Ena doesn't hold with slimming in the older generation but is stopped cold when Mrs. Spicer slyly announces it's never too late, not even for Ena and she introduces herself. They swap barbs about phonograph and wireless noise through the walls before Mrs. Spicer also decides a tin of air freshener is needed for that funny smell in the flat. Hilda pipes up that it must be Ena's pot of cabbage on the stove. After she leaves, having bested Ena in that encounter, Mrs. Sharples sternly predicts if she is spoken to like that again, the air won't be too fresh It'll be BLUE!

Diane Johnston

Delivery Man PETER DUDLEY Mrs. Spicer ANN DYSON (first appearance or very nearly)
Written by GEOFFREY TETLOW Directed by TIM JONES

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