The Ivy's ghost "saga"
Jack and Vera are disturbed by noises coming from the beer cellar
late at night. Brandishing a tiny saucepan (her) and a toasting
fork (him) they venture downstairs, convinced it is Ivy, being
an "unquiet spirit". The tension mounts as they approach
the door to the coal cellar - the noises grow louder and then
Roy Cropper appears from behind the door - oblvious to their fear.
He has been "ghost-hunting", and describes in painstaking
detail the experimental measures he was carried out in order to
prove or disprove the existence of a ghost. He ends by concluding
that the ghost might by a "non-apparent apparition"
which means that nobody has any way of knowing if it is there
or not. Vera and Jack find his presence to be more disturbing
than Ivy's.
Liz/Jim etc
Jim arrives back home, drunk and alone to discover Andy and Anne
on the sofa. He is sarcastic, especially to Anne, who sticks up
for herself and makes Jim tell them where he left Liz. Jim doesn't
make much sense, so Andy and Anne run outside and Anne finds Liz'a
handbag in the car. Andy phones Steve, and Steve and Vicky come
over. The 4 question Jim again who says he will not talk in front
of the ladies, but eventually says that he has "knocked some
sense into Liz" and this is how people from the slums behave.
Meanwhile, Liz has arrived in a taxi, with no money at Dreary's.
The taxi-driver won't let her out until she pays - she is in a
"state" but Roy Cropper arrives from the Ivy's ghost
plot and pays the fare, letting her into the flat where she collapses
into Dreary's kind arms.
In the morning, Liz applies heavy makeup - green, yellow and purple
to make her bruises look worse than they are. She wants everyone
to see what Jim has done to her. Bill Webster calls round and
sees Liz.
Back at his house, Jim smashes a bottle of whiskey in the sink.
Andy tells his father that he had better stay away from all of
them in future. The twins find Liz at Dreary's house, she persuades
them to leave and that she will be allright. Jim goes to the flat
to tell Bill that he is leaving for a while. Bill tells him that
his marriage is "finished" - and that he should know.
He then proceeds to lay all of the fault on Liz, saying that she
is making things looks worse than they are with makeup. What a
nasty little man. Liz, behind Dreary's door hears everything.
In some ways this episode was much more disturbing than the actual
beating that preceeded it. Bill and Jim's reactions were especially
horrible.
Awards:
Best acting: Roy Cropper. The ghost-hunting description, the "are
you a medium?" "No I'm a 42", the bit of elastic
on his key, attached to his bag. Very necessary comic relief in
this terrifying episode.
Fiona/Lee/Maxine
Lee visits Fiona at the "salon" and tells her that she
should be renting out the upstairs flat to somebody, and that
it is an investment potential going to waste. Fiona doesn't want
to rent it out - as she'll have people traipsing through her shop
night or day - they fight in the Rovers and Fiona decides to move
there herself and pay a pittance rent (back into the business).
She tells Alma and Maxine that she is leaving. Maxine is upset
- Fiona (rather cruelly) tells her that she doesn't like living
with work-mates and that Maxine should go back to her mother.
Oh dear, is Fiona becoming a CAPITALIST? Will she start charging
Phyllis and Maud full-price and make Alma pay twice as much for
having "funny hair?"
Mallets/McDonalds/Duckworths
Judy walks into Jim's house in order to borrow a "tight black
skirt" from Liz, but is instead confronted by Jim who decides
that Judy is representative of all "Hoors" and asks
her what she wants a tight black skirt for anyway. Judy leaves
without one, but don't worry because she later gets one on the
market and proudly displays it in the Rovers to Jack and Gary's
delight and Raquel's disgust. Judy tells us that she has to try
that much harder to attract the men because once they find out
that she's married, they lose interest. Des Barnes appears at
this point and says that he is always interested in married women,
and then asks "Mrs Watts" for a drink.
Andy and Steve discuss Jim, Steve wants to kill him and Andy says
that he just wants nothing more to do with him. Jim appears and
is shunned. Then he confronts Vicky and invites her in to apologise,
but this turns into another psycho-lunatic short-skirt sniffing
scene and Vicky leaves, probably going into shock later on.
Liz gives Roy Cropper back his taxi money - Roy explains that
the taxi driver asked for 10 pounds (he asked Liz for 7 pounds)
but Roy suspecting that he was being dishonest, only gave him
5 pounds. He then tells Liz that her face is disturbing and maybe
upset people if she goes outside.
Liz arrives at the Rovers, with the scar still showing - everyone
is shocked. Vera and Jack discuss what to do with her. Vera wants
to ban Jim while Jack wants to send Liz home and encourage Jim
to come in as he's one of their best customers.
When Liz leaves the Rovers, Jim is there waiting for her outside.
He asks her to come back. Credits.
Awards:
Best acting. Steve McDonald did a good impression of his father
"I'm sorry I swear to God bejesus so I am etc..."
Best line. "She is a hooooorrrr!!!" (Jim McDonald)
Percy related
Rita and Mavis are in the Kabin having a gossip about everyone's
favourite problem family, the McDonalds. Mavis asks Rita if it
reminds her of Alan as she so rarely talks about him, and Rita
says it does and then manages to look wistful and distant. The
moment is broken by the arrival of Percy who has lost his cap
- a special one that he bought for his trip to France with Maud.
Mavis tells them that "When Derek loses something I mentally
retrace his steps. I get inside his head."
"As only you can Mavis," bitches Rita. "As only
you can."
Percy then goes to the Rovers and looks through the lost property
box. Still no cap. It finally turns up when Emily and Judy are
looking through Racquel's old clothes as she wants to give some
to charity (and Judy fancies taking a few of them herself). Emily
spots the cap hanging up on the coat-rail - apparently Percy gave
it to Curly ages ago. Emily says "He thinks he's lost it,"
meaning the cap. I hope that Percy has lost "it" - his
mind that is and this is the start of an exciting Percy mental
health story-line, otherwise why bother? Emily gives the cap back
to Percy.
Mike/Alma
Mike and Alma discuss Mike's attempts to buy the factory. Mike
tells her that he is nearly there but needs a bit more collatoral.
He then suggests using their house for this purpose but is met
with a resounding "no!" from Alma.
Fiona/Tony/Maxine
Fiona visits Vicky and offers to help Liz. Vicky wishes her good
luck in her new career as evil business woman. Maxine tells Tony
about Fiona moving out. Tony asks Fiona if she intends to move
in with him, but Fiona is busy being a woman of mystery and doesn't
say.
Jim/Liz/Andy/Vicky/Roy
We never did find out how last episode's confrontation ended between
Liz and Jim. Oh well. Roy buys flowers for Liz; Dreary tries to
send him away (probably jealous) but Liz is "enchanted"
by this kind gesture. "Mauves and purples - excellent healing
colours," says Roy. And then he urges Liz to phone the police.
"34,000 in 93, 35,000 in 94. I don't have the figures for
95 as yet. That's incidents of domestic violence in the Greater
Manchester area." Liz takes his advice and has a "casual"
chat with a lady police officer in a baggy wool pullover. She
is told that she can take out an injunction against Jim if she
wants to.
Andy has been brooding all episode - refusing to work at the Rovers
("family problems," says Vera) and eventually going
to see Jim and giving him a great big PUSH!!!!
As revenge for this vicious blow Jim tells him that Liz had an
affair with Johnny Johnson. Andy then goes and announces this
to Steve and Vicky.
Vicky visits Jim next and offers to make him a meal and wash his
clothes. She wears a tired old beret throughout the episode which
was really starting to get on my nerves by the end. Jim hugs/thanks
her and receives a simper in return. Vicky reassures Jim that
Liz will return to him.
Prompting Jim to visit Liz at the flat - he first has to get past
Roy and Dreary, but eventually Liz appears at the door and tells
him that she could have him arrested and that she intends to divorce
him. Ooooohhh! Credits.
Awards:
My favourite Jim-isms (in order of merit)
Fashion crime: Vera's great big scarf. Purple with white spots.
I don't think so.
Duckworths/Judy/Joyce.
Joyce finds an old radio while she is cleaning the Rovers. She
asks Vera if she can take it home with her. "Burrit's useless!"
cries Vera. "It only gets one channel!" "That's
one more than mine gets," says Joyce, revealing how awful
it must be to leave in Gable Street (the gasworks end). Vera lets
her take it home, but as she is leaving, Jack spots the radio
and is sure that Joyce has stolen it. He tries to humiliate her
in front of the customers, and Judy rushes to defend her. "Don't
you accuse my mother of stealing things!!" - With this brash
statement, their "awful" secret is out - and Jack and
Vera now know that Joyce is really a Mallet by proxy.
Joyce expects to be fired (well wouldn't you if someone found
out you were related to Judy Mallet?) but sweet-talks Vera into
letting her stay on with some remarks about how it's such a burden
to have trouble-some children, and how proud Vera must be of R
Terry now that he's a self-made man (what?)
Percy/Maxine/Fiona/Tony
Maxine doesn't want to cut Percy's hair (she *must* be a lazy
girl, it would only take 3 seconds) because it is not Pensioner's
Day and he wants Pensioner's rates. Fiona tells her to do it anyway,
they're not busy. Maxine is humiliated in front of Percy. She
then moans to Percy about how Fiona is moving out. Percy thinks
that Fiona should let Maxine move into the "salon" with
her, and later in the Rovers tells her that she should get a flat-mate.
Fiona thinks he is talking about Tony and makes this apparent.
Percy seethes.
Rackle/Curly/Anne
Rackle is a "Woman of Mystery" this week as she has
an important date with a stranger but will not tell her friends
until they have gathered, Poirot style in the Rovers that evening.
But there is a clue - she admires baby Daniel and lacklustre Kelly
that morning, prompting Curly to confide in Anne that he thinks
she might be pregnant, and he's afraid of being a father blah
blah blah you get the picture.
Evening comes and Rackle appears in the Rovers in a jubilant mood.
The assembled party asks her what the good news is, but instead
of Rackle cooing over baby-mittens, she announces that she has
just got a place on a "prestigious" aromotherapy course.
Everybody smiles, especially Curly.
McDonalds/Jack
Vicky turns up to visit Liz and tries to persuade her to get back
together with Jim - without much success. Later, Jim is in the
Rovers waiting for his lift to Belfast (from Bill). Liz turns
up for work. There is an awkward moment and a slanging match.
At one point Jim is seen to be FROTHING at the mouth, rabid-dog
style. I know that he's just spluttering the head of his beer
everywhere, but it does add to his psycho-persona. Bill arrives
and drags him out for his lift. Jack is not pleased with Liz,
especially as she shouted at him earlier when she tried to intervene.
He send her home. She leaves in time to see the taxi pulling away.
Mike/Alma
Alma agrees to let Mike use the house for collatoral in the factory
project. Mike whips out the papers for her to sign that he had
prepared earlier. Alma is furious that he second-guessed her like
that. Credits.
Awards:
Best outfit: Vera was wearing a child's hula-hoop from each ear
in this episode. I half-expected Sarah-Lou to come in and ask
for her toys back.
Worst psychological insight into another's character: "You
just want us to get back together because you haven't got a family
of your own. And we're your only family. Well Nooooooer!"
(Liz "confronts" Vicky, ala Oprah about her true motives
for being involved in this story-line.)
Ken/Dreary/Emily
Emily calls to see Ken and volunteers to help babysit Daniel but
Ken declines. Later Dreary offers to babysit and Ken agrees to
go to the theatre with some school-friends. Of course, in the
next scene Dreary tells Emily who is so upset that she leaves
the Rovers without finishing her drink. When Ken arrives back
from his crap evening out, he and Drear talk about how lonely
and sad they both are. And how for Dreary, Ken is the only person
who she can be "herself with." Ken says that The Drear
is that person for him too. He also says that "Ms Osbourne
was a twisted lady." Hmmmmm.
Joyce/Mavis/Vera
Mavis lets slip to Joyce that R Terry was in prison and Joyce
immediately uses that piece of information to hurt Vera. "I
can say one thing about our Judy but she was never inside."
Vera realises that someone has been talking about R Terry and
is upset. I don't like that Joyce. She's trouble.
Wiltons/Norris
Mavis is excited because her and Derek have been invited to a
"Square Dealers" do. However, as usual with any story-line
in involving Mavis, 5 minutes into the episode she is furious
because the invite came from Norris and Angela. "Well I shall
wear my fluffy chiffon," says Mavis, prompting Norris to
appear and suggest that her and Angela go to Knightsbridge on
a girl's shopping trip. "I don't think so," simpers
Mave.
McDonalds/Des/Fiona
Jim and Andy arrive at number 11 to try to persuade their mother
into rethinking her divorce plans. She tells them that she will
go ahead with it anyway. She visits Des at the bookies and tells
him that she never expected him to come and see her with Jim around,
but could she have a job anyway? He puts her off and she feels
embarrassed and angry. Later she tells Dreary all about it - who
sympathises and says that it's just Des's way - she lists all
the woman on the Des Barnes Roundabout - Tanya, Maxine, Rackle.
Andy and Steve are commiserating in Steve's tiny office about
how they are now going to be from a broken home. Des Barnes pops
his head round the door and asks if they want to go for a drink.
"Not with you," says Steve. Des feels like a rotter
and goes for a drink alone, and looks miserable.
On her way back from aerobics (or making her sequel video - make-up
with Liz), Liz bumps into Fiona who was planning a quiet night
alone. She invites Fiona back for a glass of wine and a heart-to-heart.
She tells Fiona that she would rather Steve have married her rather
than Vicky. Then she says that Steve is just like his father -
so considering the earlier remark it's a bit cruel. Fiona says
that she is on top of the world at the moment. "Save some
space up there for me kidda," Liz asks. Credits.
Awards
Best line: Vera: "I'm not inflammable!" (meaning infallible)
Best interchange: Dirk: "This square deal meeting is very
important to me. Networking is the buzzword." Mavis: "Oh
don't talk jargon Derek."
The Baldwin Empire
It looks like Mike's factory is going to involve every single
member of the cast in some way: Josie is complaining about her
present job - I wonder if she will eventually become a machinist/union
leader at the factory? Dreary is interested in getting a job too,
and asks Alma to mention it to Mike. Alma is not very enthusiastic
- but Mike assures her that things would be OK between them. Even
Derek wants to sell headed stationary to Mike - who manages to
negotiate the price, despite Derek's protests.
Later Mike mocks Fred Elliot in the Rovers and Norris leaps to
his defense, telling Mike he is out of order and that he would
not fit in, in the "Square Deal" milieu. Mike cancels
his order with Derek, who is furious and chases Norris round and
round the Kabin, resulting in Norris hiding behind Mavis while
boxes of chocolates etc fall on his head. An apology from Norris
ensues, and "Dirk" loses his commission on the deal.
In yet another plot-twist, Emily decides that she wants to take
her old place in the wages office at the new factory and is excited
when Percy tells her that Mike is looking for her. But all Mike
wants is for Emily to suggest names of people who could work in
the factory. "If you were 10 years younger I would have had
to look no further than you," he tells her. Poor crushed
Emily - her life spent going to the precinct to get ink for Percy
- she NEEDS a story-line!
The McDonalds
Sean McGuire questions Des about Liz - and finds out that she
wants her old job back. When Steve later reveals that Jim is in
Belfast, Sean goes to see Liz and offers her a job in another
bookies. Liz turns him down and then goes to tell Des about it.
She is seen by Andy who later confronts her about her involvement
with Des. He makes an insinuation and she SLAPS him across the
face. He walks out, she chases after him and SLAPS the door.
Fiona
Fiona is preparing for her "grand reopening" party and
insists that Liz as her new best friend must be there. Some conflict
scenes with Lee follow. Steve McDonald turns up, sniffing for
an invite, and receives one, making Vicky have suspicions later
on.
Rita/Fred
Fred is lonely, and doesn't want to turn up at the Square Deal
Do without a "bird." Norris tries to console him. Fred
says that fate will step in, just as Rita enters the Rovers. Later,
Fred asks her to accompany him to the Do, but Rita turns him down
gently. Fred is crushed.
Awards:
Best insults: "Sticky Vicky" by Maxine; "Midriff
Maxine" by Vicky
Best line: "Widows one, Mavis nil" after Rita and Dreary
have bullied Mavis into the store-room in the Kabin.
Josie/Mike/Dreary/Emily
Josie excitedly tells Emily about her job interview - Emily wishes
her luck, but then Josie reveals it is for the supervisor's post
with Mike Baldwin and once again Emily feels crushed. Meanwhile,
R Jamie is sitting by, watching the interchange and smiling knowingly
to himself.
Dreary is also preparing for the same interview, and is confident
that she will get it. However, the Drear has forgotten Soap Rule
103 which is the more confident you are about getting a job, the
more likely it will go to the new character with the bad hairstyle.
Josie's bike gets a puncture - Jamie is to blame, and Percy bustles
into the Kabin for a puncture kit - Jamie offers to lend one,
despite Percy's rudeness to him.
Josie gets to the new factory late, and it looks as if Mike is
unimpressed with her. Then he reads her reference and it turns
out that she had a "top job" with a large firm that
went bust and was a PR Woman and used computers. "You could
do this job standing on your head," says Mike. "Yeah,"
Josie growls - suddenly acquiring a New Personality and a backbone.
"But I don't know if I want to work for a jerk!" This
display gets her the job instantly, and Josie inches her way still
further towards becoming an "institution".
Dreary is interviewed next, and Mike tells her that she has no
relevant experience and that people would say that she only had
the job because of the affair. Dreary is furious.
Later, Josie gives Jamie money for helping repair her bike. In
the Rovers she tells Don about her new job. Don is not pleased
and tells her how Ivy had a similar position and Mike made her
life hell, and then Ivy made Don's life hell. Josie assures him
that this will not happen.
Fiona/Fiona's family
The inarguration of Fiona as 90s Business Woman is underway at
the salon - and to demonstrate her new "status," Fiona
is bossy and snappy with the members of her inner circle (Maxine,
Tony, Lee). Lee tells her that their father cannot make it to
the party, and Fiona is furious. "He's always been there
to tell me how useless I am..." you get the picture.
At the party, which is full of people who would never have been
there really, except for the fact that it is a useful plot device,
like Sean Skinner, Fiona's mother turns up - and is former Liver
Bird, Elizabeth Estevez (sic). She is introduced to Steve and
Vicky - and says "So you're the girl who Steve dumped our
Fiona for," and is separated from Vicky before a cat fight
can break out. Mum finds out from Lee that he was the one who
gave Fi the money to buy the shop.
Fiona's Dad does turn up, and then berates Lee for not lending
him money to buy a car. "You didn't think I would pay you
back." "That's right," says Lee. What a cynical
and twisted family.
The McDonalds
Liz is lounging in the salon party atmosphere, knocking back glasses
of wine and trying to look sultry and mysterious. Des and Sean
Skinner both talk to her - Liz is unmoved and bitter. Andy watches
and thinks that she is flirting with them. Anne tells him that
parents should be allowed to make their own mistakes. Andy can
take no more and confronts his mother in front of everyone. Scene.
Andy leaves. Steve is suspicious and gives his mother a funny
side-ways look out of those leering vampirous eyes. Credits.
Awards
Best New Character: R Ashley - the butchers delivery boy, newphew
to Fred Elliot and former pupil of Ken Barlow (it is compulsory
by the way for ALL new teenage characters to be shown to have
been taught by Ken Barlow within 5 minutes of their appearance
in the street). R Ashley is a bit innocent, but at the same time
a bit rough looking too. Bring back Tracy Barlow and a winning
combination is promised.
Best line: "Shurrup" Percy to Jamie.
Best Groundhog Day style recurring cliche: Emily looking unwanted/wounded.
Rita/Fred/Mavis/Alf
Mavis is cooing over the Square Deal Do, much to Rita's boredom
and eventual jealousy, so while Mave is out of the Kabin, Rita
telephones Fred and arranges to meet him for lunch. Rita plays
a cool hand, and idly mentions the Do, causing Fred to beg her
to reconsider again, which she does. I should mention here that
Fred is actually the High Priestess of the Square Dealers or something,
so at this "Do" Rita will be invested with special powers
- even innocent Curly has to stand up halfway through and shout
"Please be upstanding for the High Priestess" or something
equally ridiculous.
Mavis is furious when she finds out that Rita is going to the
Do as Fred's companion, especially when Rita tells her that Mavis
is the one to blame. Later Mavis likens Rita to Cinderella in
front of Alf, in that whining bitchy tone that she usually adopts
when she's not being fluffy and silly. Alf is jealous and tells
Rita that Fred would ask anybody out - even Audrey. Then he tells
them that if Rita is Cinders, then Mavis and Audrey are the ugly
sisters - prompting the others to look furious.
Rackle/Curly
Once again, Vera asks Rackle to work the evening shift at the
Rovers causing Curly to be displeased. He says that they don't
have much time together as it is, and what will they do when they
have children. Rackle takes this as a hook to ask him what he
thinks about children, and he says that she would like them. He
says that so would he, so they decide to start trying. Can anyone
imagine what a child from the two of them would look like? Rackle
also mentions that she hasn't been taking her birth control pills
for a couple of weeks. Curly doesn't seem too bothered by this
and says that it is up to Mother Nature now. Oh no, with Coronation
Street suddenly going all topical and socially relevant, is this
going to be the world's first falling sperm count story-line?
Liz/Jim
Bill picks up an optimisitc Jim at Liverpool - full of plans for
getting back together with Liz. But Bill informs him that Liz
has moved back into the house and had Jim's clothes removed. Jim
does not let this deter him, but when he discovers that Liz has
had the locks changed he gets angry and starts to bang on the
door. (I knocked over a wine glass at this point and had to go
out for a wet cloth so this next might be more muddled than usual).
Liz appears and is shocked at Jim's violent behaviour but she
agrees to talk to him in the Rovers.
There, Jim lays out his plan of how they should get back together
and Liz says gives a big nasal "no" and says that although
she gave him some provocation (!) to hit her, she doesn't want
to spend any more of her life with him. She won't even drink the
drink that he bought her. Jim decides to get drunk, but while
he is ordering more booze from Rackle, Liz slips out.
Jim chases after her and then starts to kick the front door down.
Rackle is concerned and tells Curly to go and help, but to be
careful "Me?" says Curly, but goes anyway. Meanwhile,
Kevin is trying to restrain Jim. Liz is in the house, sobbing
and phoning the police. Jim goes mad (again) and runs to the back
of the house. The Mallets are in the next garden, Gary cleaning
his motorbike, Judy just grinning. Jim grabs a spade and smashes
in the window - Gary, Curly and Kevin try to fight him, but don't
have much success - at one point Curly gets knocked to the ground.
They should have let Judy deal with it. One big karate kick and
it would have been over in a few seconds.
Jim breaks into the house, and Liz runs out of the front door
(I say "run" - she didn't seem to be going anywhere
in those heels) - and into the arms of the Police. At this stage
Jim has turned into a wild animal - a sort of parody of his former
self and is foaming, writhing and best of all, snarling on the
floor. He is bundled into a van and driven away. Liz is accompanied
back to her house by a policewoman as the credits roll.
Awards
Best Line: "I want two children, a boy and a girl. Blake
for the boy and Tiffany for the girl." Rackle
Most Dramatic Scene: Jim's fury. Not very nice at all.
Note: Schedules were disrupted last night, due to the football
- so the Street started 40 minutes earlier than usual. I missed
the first 5 minutes because I forgot about that.
The Square Dealers
The Square Deal Do is tonight! Cue excited preparations - Curly
is particularly nervous because he has to read out a speech. Derek
is impressed with the Square Dealers and is now desperate to become
a member, even to the point of crawling to Norris. As usual, Audrey
treats the evening as an excuse to have a laugh and get drunk.
Norris is late, and arrives alone. Apparently he made some constructive
criticisms over Angela's dress and she "went beserk"
and refused to go. He spends the rest of the evening talking to
Derek about Angela, much to the chagrin of the Mave.
At the end of the evening, Fred drives the Wiltons and Rita home.
He wants to walk Rita to the door but she is adamant that is can
find her own way there. Mavis thinks she heard a noise outside,
and that a man is watching them from across the street and she
hurries Derek to get inside - we know that it is Jim.
Maureen/Bill
Maureen is missing Reg and beginning to wonder if this is the
end of her relationship with him. She gets drunk in the Rovers
and starts to sit a little bit too close to Bill Webster while
pouring out her heart to him. A Maudlin Maureen is one which can
easily be taken advantage of - the same thing happened with Curly
a couple of years ago. Bill takes Maureen home, but we don't what
happens next.
Jim/Liz
As I missed the first 5 minutes I can only assume that there was
some sort of court hearing and Jim was released with strict instructions
to stay away from Liz. Or maybe it was all a Dallas-style dream
as he was back in the Street as if nothing had ever happened.
Dreary has decided that as she is Liz's designated Best Friend,
she has to watch over her day and night. The McDonald boys want
to help too, but Liz keeps telling them that she is allright.
Jim does stay away from Liz for the most part, even eschewing
the Rovers because she is in there. However, he hangs around her
front door, and at one point when she opens it he is there, shouting
the usual sarcastic abuse at her.
Late at night, Liz is alone, having sent her neighbours away.
"I'm alone in the house," she says to herself. "I'm
going to go to bed." But Jim is outside, having just finished
a bottle of toilet cleanser. He throws it on the floor where it
smashes into little pieces. Credits.
Awards.
Best line: Curly's preprepared speech. It was too complicated
to remember but was something like "The square, the circle,
the Grand Rectangle, the angles of incidence and Pythagorus all
come together in this, the Square Dealer's Do."
Best acting: Dreary's glasses seemed to do very well out of last
night's episode. As subtle as ever, they managed to convey a variety
of emotions, from neighbourly concern, to terror. I hear that
ITV have offered to give them their own spin-off series. Set
in Lanzarotti, the glasses are going to open a night-club and
viewers will be able to follow their life, loves and men.
Rita/Fred/Ashley/Lacklustre girl/Sally
Ashley is sent to the Kabin with a pound of lamb-liver or something
as another "courting-gift" from Fred. Rita is amused,
but tells Ashley to tell Fred that she doesn't want any more presents.
Who should be in the shop, but Kelly, who (surprise!) happened
to be in the same class at school as Ashley - I wonder which "band"
those two were in? Seeing her chance for a decent story-line,
Kelly invites Ashley round for a cup of tea. Sally, also seeing
some mileage in this tells Ashely that he must come and visit
Kelly more often and that she will be checking up on him. Kelly
looks faintly embarrassed.
Meanwhile, Fred calls in person on Rita to invite her out for
a soiree. Rita says she will meet him in the pub. Mave gets excited
- but Rita tells her that underneath it all Fred is a nice man
and that she could do with a bit of company in spite of herself.
And that Mave shouldn't get any ideas of romance.
Fred takes a dislike to Mavis when she says that she and Derek
are "practically vegetarians" - see awards below.
Dreary/Judy/Liz
"Trapped in me 'ouse like a prisoner, while 'e walks around
outside. 'E knows where I am, 'e does." Poor Liz, finally
realises what a drab little house she lives in (especially that
wallpaper) but luckily, Judy is at hand to cheer her up and offers
to put a word in for her down at the arcade. Judy asks some relevant
and thought-provoking questions like "will you get married
again," making Liz whimsical. Matters are not helped by the
return of Dreary who is obviously using this whole situation to
put on her c.v. when she applies for the Samaritans.
Josie/Derek/Jameh
Jamie is up to more trouble with his puncture-repair kit money-making
scheme, this time using it on Derek (who looks such a twit in
his cycling gear). Josie finds out about it, and starts to put
two and two together. Prepare for a big confrontation scene at
some point next week.
Vicky/Bill/Jim
The McDonald children still seem intent on getting Liz and Jim
back together. Vicky is especially worried about Jim and invites
him around for a meal. Jim tells Bill to look for a new partner,
and that once he goes to court and is in all the papers it will
be bad for his business.
Maureen/Curly/Bill
Maureen apologises to Bill for her drunken behaviour the other
night, and is determined that this weekend she will get to see
Reg. However, after twenty minutes she runs out of petrol and
is stranded on the motorway. Curly has to come and rescue her,
and she decides that enough is enough and that she can never visit
Reg again! Credits
Awards:
Best line: Fred Elliott on the REAL reaons behind vegetarianism.
"Don't say the 'V' word. It's all a plan by the Martians
in order to weaken humanity so that they can invade us!"
Social message for the week: Remember children, cycling is fun
but you should always wear reflective yellow stripes like Josie
and Derek!
Number of times Liz said "Nuuuuur!": 67
I hate episodes like this - plot-lines starting up all over the
place. How am I supposed to keep track of it all?
The Mike Baldwin Business Empire
Mike is talking to Alma about how he needs more money which immediately
gets her defensive because she thinks he wants to sell her shop.
He probably intends to get her to restart her old part-time job
as Cleopatra in Carry on Cleo. Later, Derek and Josie are waiting
for Mike at the factory - Derek with the stationery order, Josie
because she does not have a key. Jamie offers to clean Mike's
car, but Mike tells him to get lost.
Mike is 'friendly' to Kevin in the Rovers and offers to sell him
the garage for a few thousand under the asking price. Kevin says
he'll think about it - when Sally finds out she says it is the
best chance they'll ever get, but Kevin doesn't want to lie in
bed thinking about owing all that money to the bank. However,
Sally seems determined to sink her plot-grabbing hooks into this
one, and after a long spell of playing hand-maid to Maud's story-lines,
how can we begrudge her this one?
Vera/Jack
Billy enters the Rovers and mentions that Jack was talking about
a Rovers outing a few episodes ago and in all the Ivy-ghost excitment,
it was forgotten. The 'men' (Billy and Gary Mallet) decide that
a day at the races would be fun. Vera would prefer to go to Southport,
but seems happy to go along with the races. However, Jack keeps
telling her that she is not welcome. Vera decides to have a women's
day out instead.
McDonalds
Jim is _still_ stalking Liz and being very boring. Steve gives
him twenty pounds to leave him alone. Nobody in the Rovers will
talk to Jim. He tries to phone Liz, but she hangs up on him. Then
he follows her into the shop, but Liz runs out without paying.
She finds him waiting outside the house so she ducks into the
Rovers where he follows.
In exasperation, she phones the police. Andy and Steve try to
get him to leave, but he at first can't believe she would do such
a thing, and then is too stupid to leave. So he is hauled off
again (ha!)
Vera tells Liz that the McDonalds can take their rows elsewhere
in future. Jack tells Vera to shut up and that Liz is upset -
Vera says she is upset too and goes to have a lie down.
Mini Story-lines
"Has Ashley asked you out yet Kelly?" asks Sally, as
they pass him in the Street. "No, but he's gorgeous!"
says Kelly.
"Can I clean your car Bill Webster?" asks Jamie, still
trying to get money.
"I phoned Reg to tell him I wasn't coming on Friday, and
left a message on his answering machine. He hasn't phoned me back."
Maureen.
Awards:
Best line: "We could go and see those male dancers - the
ones with the rippling muscles - the Wensleydales!" Vera
Most predictable performance: "You should just try to forget
about Liz and get on with the rest of your life." If ONE
more episode is ruined by Bill Webster saying this to Jim I will
take legal action.
Maud's teacosy: The mauve one.
Maureen
Maureen is still cringing because Reg hasn't phoned. Alma suggests
that they go on a girl's night out with Audrey and Dreary. Maureen
says that she would be miserable all night. She phones Reg and
leaves another message on his answering machine telling him that
she is sorry and she does love him. I think it might be over for
this marriage though.
Mike Baldwin's Business Empire
Sally is doing her Lady Macbeth act on Kevin and trying to get
him to buy the garage. Kevin is still unsure that he wants to
be in so much debt, or that the bank will lend him the money -
but he has made an appointment with this bank manager anyway.
Kevin tells Tony that Mike is selling up and he might be his new
boss.
Bill Webster asks Mike for time off so that he can support Jim's
court appearance, but Mike (after laughing at the McDonald family)
says he has to stay and work. Josie overhears and looks disapproving
(I think, it's so hard to tell - her face normally has that tightened
frown). Josie has a phone message from Ida Clough who wants her
old job back. When Mike tells her that Ida was Ivy's old friend,
Josie tries to dissuade Mike from hiring her, but Mike says he
will see her anyway. Mike then tells her that he is selling the
garage.
Later, Josie goes to the garage while Kevin is at the bank manager.
She collects the garage takings (500 pounds in cash) and her greedy
little eyes light up, as her brain thinks "business opportunity".
She tries to get Don interested in buying the garage - but he
doesn't seem too interested. (In next week's episode other CS
couples compete to buy Mike's garage - baby Daniel is backed by
Sarah-Lou, Samir comes back from the dead and is backed by Phyllis's
hair etc..)
Kevin has his back loan but still has to find the money from the
deposit. Sally is overjoyed and full of useful money-making schemes,
including using R Rosie's trust-fund, selling the car, putting
Kevin out on the Streets (OK I made that last one up - but it
would probably generate the most revenue)
Vera/Rackle/Joyce
Plans for the Rovers' Mens and Ladies outings continue. Vera,
Rackle and Joyce discuss the McDonalds mess and Vera says that
if Jack behaves like that again he will be barred. Somehow Joyce
manages to turn the conversation round to how R Terry was in prison.
Vera's mouth falls open in outrage. Rackle goes on about how when
her and Curly have children, they will never argue in front of
them, causing Joyce to wonder if she is already pregnant.
McDonalds
Jim is due to appear in court, and the McDonald "boys"
and Vicky are rallying around him. They go to see Liz and beg
her to retract her complaints about him but she refuses. They
make it clear that they are now on Daddy's side, and that Liz
will have to make her own way to the court, alone.
At the court, Jim is in the dock (he should have been in a big
cage with armed guards everywhere), Steve, Andy and Vicky enter
and he gives them a thumbs up sign. Liz enters and he just growls
inwardly.
Jim's lawyer pleads that there were mitigating circumstances for
Jim breaking the terms of bail, but the judge is having none of
it and Jim is sent to prison until he can go to trial. This will
be 2/3 weeks. Andy whines "Are you happy now our mam!"
Credits.
Awards:
Outfits: Pick up your Kevin Doll from all major retail toy outlets
today! Kevin comes with three easy-to-change costumes - 1) everyone's
favourite - the blue overalls 2) the rarely seen dressing-gown
and chest hair combination - make Sally smile! 3) The smart "I
am a business-man" suit for asking favours off his bank manager.
Buy your Kevin-Doll over the Easter period and we'll throw in
a free Simpering Sally and several push-chair accessories!
Best line: Maureen: "Yes! I do love 'im. Silly stubborn little
man!"
Wiltons/Des
Derek and Mavis want an allotment. Des says that he knows a fellow
who comes into the betting shop quite often who is in charge of
giving out allotments and he will put a word in for the Wiltons.
They are excited.
But! Monday is April Fool's Day - so what Evil does Des have up
his sleeve?
Mike Baldwin's Business Empire
Alma lets slip to Mike that Rita has been giving the Websters
money, and Mike sees this as a way for Kevin to buy the garage
quickly. He bullies Alma into going round to Rita's and casually
mentioning that the garage is for sale to Kevin. Alma is very
reluctant, but Mike offers to mind the cafe (which means he stands
behind the counter and refuses to serve Percy) while she is away.
At the Kabin, Alma is about to mention the garage to Rita, but
Dreary and Liz come in and immeditately start talking about prisons
and Jim and wife-beating so Alma has to skulk away, mission unaccomplished.
Mike is angry and tells her that she has let him down.
Josie questions Mike about how much he intends to sell the garage.
Mike tells her to make an offer and they will talk further.
New applicants are interviewed for factory jobs. Ida Clough is
there - Mike gives her a job.
McDonalds
Steve, Vicky and Andy tell Liz that they are visiting Jim in prison
and does she have any messages for him. Liz says "nurr"
and reiterates that she does not want to get back with Jim. More
tiresome conflict.
At the prison, Jim moans on about how his wife done him wrong,
and what a sad state of affairs it all is, and how bitter he is
becoming.
Maureen/Maud/Reg
Maureen has been wringing her hands all week because Reg still
hasn't phoned her. She is determined now to go to Lowestoft to
get her man back.
However, when Maud and Maureen get back to their house there is
a letter awaiting Maureen - which reduces her to miserable staring
after she reads it. Maud says "What's wrong our Maureen?"
but Maureen refuses to tell her. Maureen jumps in her car to head
off to Lowestoft. Maud shouts "It's from him isn't it. He's
said you have to choose between me and him, and you've chosen
him. Maureen! Maureeeeeennn!" Credits.
Awards:
Best acting: Mike Baldwin. Things are going to be interesting
now that an old format has being exhumed. Mike was on top form
as evil tycoon once again - making poor Ida wait until last and
then taking pleasure as she squirmed and begged for her old job
back. The relationship between Josie and Mike also promises to
be one of complexity and conflict. I get the feeling that Josie
will be very loyal - but will take no nonsense from Baldwin.
Most Welcome Return: Three Cheers for Ida Clough! Let's hope that
the Street's favourite miniscule busybody lives up to her former
reputation and causes as much TROUBLE as she possibly can!
