Pathetic Derek gets Des to believe that his window has been smashed. When Des looks up, Derek shrills "April Fool ha! ha! haaa!"
Billy comes into the Kabin and starts talking about the allotment (being a male "Betty" he is not allowed to have any story-lines of his own and just has to hover on the sidelines of more interesting characters.) Mavis is jealous of Billy's allotment "status", but while she is out of the Kabin, Rita takes a message from a Mr Hedges who says he will meet the Wiltons at the allotment and arrange to give them a plot.
But Derek smells a rat, and decides that it is a joke by Des. Wilton hysteria can only turn into misguided complacency as The Mave and Derek turn up at the allotment, and smugly tell Mr Hedges that he is an imposter and they are too clever for Des.
Later in the Rovers there is more back-slapping, nobody knows what they are talking about until Billy announces that Mr Hedges is a real person and not a paid stooge. Crush!
The Mike Baldwin Business Empire
The race to buy the garage hots up as Josie and Don prepare to mortgage their houses. Josie is being particularly sneaky, listening in to Mike's phone calls and reading his letters to find out how much he wants to sell the garage for.
Mike calls to see Sally and puts pressure on her to talk to Kevin about the garage. It is becoming obvious that he is desperate to sell, and Josie and Don plan to take advantage of this. What an old schemer she turned out to be - it'll be bromide in Don's caseroles next at this rate.
Mr Firman calls to see Curly and tells him that Reg has resigned from Bettabuys. Maud wants to follow Maud to Lowestoft, but Curly persuades her to stay at home, and he goes instead. He meets Maureen and they read the letter together.
"Since our separation, an unbearable weight has caused me to care for nothing, not even our relationship, I am not the man that I once was...etc"
Maureen is inconsolable and says she will search for Reg and tell him she loves him.
But Mr Firman tells Curly that Reg ran off with a heiress-secretary. Curly has a dilemma...
Best non-appearance of story-line: The McDonalds kept their disgraceful selves out of this episode thank goodness, and it was all the better for it.
Best props: Mike is turning his factory into a 1984-style dystopia.
A tv monitor allows him to spy on visitors, and a tannoy lets
him summon Dry-Hair and Ida to his office whenever he wants to.
(I'm going on my Easter Holidays for two weeks now, so this is my last update for a while. However, the "moral voice" of ratucs, Mike Plowman has offered to understudy for me during this period. Enjoy!)
The mighty Sir Paul of Baker is off on his holidays for
a while and has kindly allowed me to understudy him - Mike Plowman
Don and Josie are discussing what offer to put in on the garage over breakfast. Josie tells Don to wear a suit when he goes to visit Baldwin and remarks that he'll have to wear a suit when he owns the garage. Don tells Josie that he will be a boss who isn't afraid of getting his hands dirty, the workers will drink with me etc. (I wouldn't put money on that if I was Don!)
Meanwhile, Kevin and Sally are outside the Kabin discussing finding the £4000 they need for the deposit on the garage. Sally urges to Kev to ask Rita for a loan but the ever cautious Kev isn't keen on doing so. Sally then slags Bill off for a) borrowing the money off them b) only paying it back in dribs and drabs. Who should then pop his head out of the upstairs Kabin window but Bill, who is repairing the flashings for Rita. Kev says that he hopes Bill didn't hear her, to which Sally retorts 'I don't care if he did!' (Sally is getting a bit feisty of late!)
Lunchtime in the Rovers and Josie and Don are still trying to decide on what offer to make. Enter Alma who after ordering a drink and lunch discovers that she has left her bag in the cafe. Josie offers to settle up for her and says that she'll get the money off Mike at work that afternoon. Josie asks Mike for the £3.75 later but he says he's not got any money on him and he's just going out. Josie says that Don was going to be popping him to see him. Mike suddenly discovers that he has money on him and says that he will 'hang on for a bit' to see Don. Don arrives and makes an offer of £38,000 on the garage. Mike tells him he could easily get over £50,000 for it and to rethink his offer.
In the cafe later, Mike tells Alma that the letter that Josie read on his desk about the garage price was left there by him intentionally. He calls in at No 13 to see Kevin and Sally and tells them that he has had an offer of £40,000 and that if they match the offer they can have it, but if the other prospective buyer ups his offer he will sell it to them. He doesn't reveal that it is Don and Josie after the business. When Mike has left Sally urges Kevin to hurry up and start getting things moving, this is their big chance etc. Kevin realising that time is of the essence immediately breaks into another session of umming and arring. Sally's patience is beginning to get as thin as Emily's storylines and she snaps at Kevin, 'What do you want out of life?'. Kev replies, 'What do you mean?'. With her lip curled in disgust, Sally snarls,'That says it all!'. I sense marital disharmony in the near future!
Maureen and Curly are still in Lowestoft with Maureen convinced that Reg is suffering from depression at their enforced seperation. Curly knows, of course, that he has run off with some slip of a thing who has come into money. Meanwhile back at the shop, Maude is busy telling Diedre and Raquel that she supects that Reg was up to no good. "Any man who can go missing in Lowestoft is up to something fishy", is her comment. Curly urges Maureen to return to Weatherfield but she decides to go out and have a final look for Reg before they return. Raquel phones and asks him if they have found Reg yet. Curly tells her what Reg has been up to. Raquel tells Curly that he must tell Maureen as soon as she comes back. He agrees to do so and is about to when Maureen furiously flies to the defence of her beloved Reg when Curly starts to discuss his misgivings, so he does not tell her.
When they reach home she comes into Curly's for a coffee, Curly goes upstairs and Raquel, under the misconception that Curly has told Maureen, tells Maureen that she knows how she feels, it's happened to her etc. Maureen is puzzled and says that Raquel can't compare Reg to Des, as Des was playing around. The penny drops and Raquel lambasts Curly for not telling Maureen. 'Telling me what?' asks Maureen and the whole sorry truth is revealed to her. She collapses sobbing into Raquel's arms but pauses when the realisation hits her of the suffering that is yet to come and she exclaims, 'Oh God! That means that mother was right!' Cue 49 days and nights of gloating and much use of the word 'Pillock' from the be-hatted harridan!
Following their faux pas with the Allotments Officer, the Wilton's are a bit miffed. They bump into Des in the Kabin and he congratulates them on being the only people he has ever heard of managing to April Fool themselves. He and Rita snigger. He offers to have another word with Tim Hedges in order to help them get an allotment, but Derek refuses his offer haughtily. 'Please yourself', he replies, 'Allotment Owners Weekly please, Rita'. He and Rita disolve in giggles. Derek and Mavis make an rapid exit.
Derek meets Mavis in the Rovers at lunchtime and tells her he has managed to get an appointment with Mr Hedges for 3pm. When they arrive at the council offices the surly receptionist tells them that there is no appointment in Mr Hedges diary for a Mr Wilton at 3pm. Derek insists and she tells him the appointment is listed as being for an April Fool! They get in to see Mr Hedges. Derek and Mavis fawn to him in an attempt to be re-instated on the allotment waiting list. Derek tries to make a joke about Mr Hedges name, to zero effect. After forcing them to crawl for a bit, Mr Hedges tells them that the allotment they were going to get has been let but they can have another one that has been 'let go a bit'. They are overjoyed and promise to buy Des several drinks as a result.
Mr Hedges then says that before they take posession of the plot, he must draw their attention to some of the councils allotment rules and bylaws. 'Of course, of course' they witter excitedly. He then proceeds to read out rules about gnomes and the Wiltons are forced to laugh ingratiatingly and utter that Des is such a wag etc through tightly gritted teeth.
Best line: Tim Hedges to Derek on Dereks comment on his name being unusual. 'Ave a look in the phone book Mr Wilton, there's hedges down every street!'
Best non appearance: Again, a thankfully McDonald-free episode though they were pipped at the post by Sir Royston of Cropper who was mentioned by Deirdre. ('I was woken up by Roy Cropper. He reckoned he'd heard a cuckoo. I didn't have the heart to say it was probably him!) Well done Mr M [scriptwriter] for getting Royston a mention!
Best update writer (individual episode category): Paul Baker
Kevin and Sally are still bickereing about buying the garage from Mike. Sally desperately wants to become Weatherfields Alexis Colby, but Kevin tells her that he knows better than anyone that the business isn't really that safe and a lot of investment in new equipment is needed. Sally says she intends to invite Rita round for tea to broach the subject of borrowing the deposit. Kevin has a rant and slams out saying he's going to watch County. (God, he must be desperate!) [They won away 2-1 in reality - Graham]
Sally invites Rita round for tea (liver & onions - yum!). 'Any special reason?' asks Rita. 'No', lies Sally, 'Just that it'll be nice to have you'.
Later that day, Mike drops in the Kabin for a packet 'of his paticulars' and tells Rita that Kevin is interested in the garage. Rita then realises why she has been invited to tea.
Rita is round at Sally and Kevin's . Kev comes in ranting about County going down 4-0 etc. Rita spikes Sally's guns by asking Kev if he wants to dicsuss buying the garage with her, Kevin tells her firmly that he does not want the garage because he knows that it needs a lot more investment than just the purchase price.
Later, in the pub, Kevin tells Mike that he doesn't want to buy the business. Mike immediately makes a bee-line for Don and Josie who are sat at a nearby table and tells them that he wants them to up their offer to £45,000. After a bit of to and fro-ing they settle on £43,000 and the deal is done. We are left with the image of Don grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Obviously delighted at stitching himself up.
Maureen has stayed the night at the Watts's, after learning the truth about Reg, rather than return home to Maud and her gloating.
During a heart to heart with Raquel she reveals that she has made up her mind never to have Reg back if he ever reappears. After this, she decides that she has to return home to face Maude.
Far from gloating at her vindication, Maude is very upset for her daughter and does her best to lift her spirits. In quite a touching scene, she tries to impress upon Maureen that life goes on and cites herself being confined to a wheelchair as an example. She persuades Maureen that they should go and open up the shop and to Maureen's surprise, she finds that she feels a little better after doing so.
Mavis is twittering in her inimitable manner to Rita about the joys of allotment tenancy and that many people grow their own produce. To which Rita retorts, 'Then why are there two greengrocers on Rosamund St?'. Oblivious to any criticism, Mavis continues to twitter and gets the afternoon off to go and test the soil ph with Derek.
As Derek and Mavis approach the allotment, Derek waxes lyrical about approaching the 'promised land' etc. While testing the soil they are approached by a chap who tells them that the soil is very acidic on that plot due to the old chemical factory which was directly downwind from their patch. He introduces himself as Wilf Gaskill, the secretary of the Allotment Association. Derek introduces himself. Wilf inquires if Mavis is his wife, as he doesn't like to assume with 'you younger folk'!!!!!??? There follows a conversation where Wilf explains that having an allotment is a lot like marriage and Moses, he then goes off to get his folder so he can read the Ten Commandments of Allotment Tenancy to the Wilton's. No 1, 'Thou shalt tend thy allotment'!
Tricia enters the pub and asks Kevin and Tony if it's true that there is no National Lottery this weekend as it's Easter as Percy has told her there isn't. Tony tells her that there is. She moans about not having a job. Kevin tells her that Baldwin is taking on staff but Tricia just laughs and says that he'd never take her on. (In, fact Baldwin is seen earlier in the Kabin, bemoaning the fact that there are not many skilled machinists around and that he will have to emploty unskilled staff and train them so who knows?) Enter Percy. Tricia lambasts him for telling her that the lottery was off. Percy then proceeds to tell Tricia that she should not be playing the lottery while she is on benefits etc and that if she is spending money on lottery tickets then she must be going without something else and that she would be better spending the money on something more appropriate like R Jamie. Tricia pauses for a moment and says "You know, Mr Sugden, you are right. I've been such a fool" Actually, she doesn't, she tells him to mind his own bloody business etc and rushes off to spend her welfare on lottery tickets.
At the bar, Percy asks Ken if he agrees with him. Ken says "Well, yes but I've never quite had the nerve to go round giving lectures to people about it". He then tells Percy that the lottery makes a mockery of every political belief and gives various examples of how greed corrupts etc. At the end of which Percy enquires, "What do you mean, go round giving lectures?!"
Best line - Tricia to Maureen, Maude and Emily in the shop. "Well, aren't you going to tell me I shouldn't be buying oven chips while I'm on benefits!!?"
Best non-appearance - The lady who used to work at the Mission and never thought twice about telling someone eactly what she thought, as mentioned by Emily.
Best update writer - That man Baker
Maureen is still extremely upset over Reg. Maude finds her crying in the storeroom after she finds a note Reg had written some time ago. Maureen tells Maude that she doesn't want anyone to know about Reg and makes Maude promise not to tell anyone. Later, when Maureen is pretending to Vera that Reg is working all over the weekend, to cover up for her not going to Lowestoft, Maude announces in the middle of the pub that Reg has run off with another woman, telling Maureen that the sooner it is out in the open, the sooner she can get on with the rest of her life.
Des tells Andy that he will be away for a few days so he will have the house to himself. Andy immediately phones Anne to arrange for her to come round for a meal, with a view to getting her to stay the night!
That evening, Liz and Deidrie are in the pub. Liz has just found out that she has got the job she applied for at The Hourglass. Andy enters, Liz tells him her news but he is unimpressed and chooses to sit on his own to wait for Anne. Anne arrives. As Liz and Deidrie leave, Deidre shoots him a look of pure venom.
Anne asks Andy why, he tells her that he is sick that his mum is getting on with her 'new' life while Jim is banged up. Anne says that in her opinion, Jim has gotten what he deserved. They begin, rather predictably, to argue with Anne vehemently attacking Jim. She tells Andy that if he thinks that she's going to stay the night he's got another think coming. Oh dear, another night with Onan for Andy!
Derek and Mavis are off to the allotment. Derek has his camcorder with him to record the 'ongoing transformation from wilderness to Eden'. He and Mavis later bore Emily into a coma with their footage as she is forced to squint down Derek's viewfinder in the Rovers. Still, that's as near to an action scene as Emily's likely to get, poor dear.
A Day At The Races - Alf, Bill, Billy, Martin, Don, Fred, Gary, Jack & Roy
It's the day of the coach trip to the races and the lads are loading up the coach with beer. On the way, Roy explains to Bill that he had devoloped an algebraic formula for predicting the winners in the race and that there is only one horse that he is considering backing. "Cos your formula predicts it will win?" asks Bill. "No", replies Roy, "I just liked the name!". What a wag!
The horse is 'Betty's Hot Shot' and is a 50:1 shot in a Sellers handicap. The lads all chip a fiver in and put it on the horse. Amazingly, it wins, so they have won £2000. Rather the worse for drink by this time, they have the brainwave of bidding for the horse. They are all keen, with the exception of Roy, who declines and is the only one who hasn't had a drink as he's on antibiotics due to an ear infection.
They eventually pay £2400 for the horse, which leaves them with about £50 each to find. They are, of course, unaware of the telephone conversation between the trainer and owner where it came to light that the horse had never really shown any potential and that it had only won because the first and second favourites had fallen.
The trainer cleverly persuades them that it would be unwise to move the horse from her stables as it might upset him and that wouldn't be wise as 'he's just hit form'. So they arrange to keep him stabled where he is currently.
On the way home, Don reveals to Jack that he and Josie are taking over MVB Motors while Roy begins to point out that buying the horse is only beginning, that they will have stabling, racing,jockey,food and vet's bills on top. Jack poo-poohs Roy's comments, asking him how he knows anything about keeping a horse. Turns out Roy got chatting to a retired jockey and was told that keeping a race horse costs a minimum of £10,000 a year. It seems obvious that while Roy comes out £400 plus to the better, the other 8 will be seriously out of pocket at some point in the future, but swept along an a wave of euphoria and best bitter they are blissfully uncaring as the coach wends it's way home to Weatherfield.
Best appearance: I know it's predictable but it has to be Roy. He is still head and shoulders above all others, even more so with large plugs of cotton wool in his ear.
Best line: Anne Malone after tearing Andy's head off and spitting in the hole, 'And don't think you can get round me by plying me with red wine! Alcohol will just make me aggressive!'' ??????
[I think Mike forgot this one - Graham :-)] Best Hat: Despite fearce opposition from most of the Street's menfolk (special mention for Don's ratting hat and Billy's Mad Hatter impersonation), Maud again walks off with 'Best Hat' for a Cartlandesque creation resembling mauve meringue on a doily - the Queen Mum would have been proud of it.
Mike tells Kevin & Tony that the garage is almost sold to Don & Josie, which leaves Kev & Tony pondering on what changes they might be facing. Sally is convinced that they are buying the garage because they can see that it is a good investment and wates no time in telling Kevin that he has missed out on a golden opportunity and reminds him that for all he knows he could be out of a job by the end of the month.
Maureen still has the ultra-miseries over the Reg business and is convinced that everyone who comes in the shop is doing so just to gawp at her. Bill Webster tells her that it will be difficult but that she will come through it, citing himself as an example.
Derek & Mavis
The Wilton's are on cloud nine over their allotment and Mavis goes into wittering overdrive to Rita telling her that the allotment will change her and Derek's lives, her arms full of allotment magazines. Enter Derek with the an armful of library books on the subject. He tells mave that by going to bed earlier at night they will be able to read all the books in a short time indeed.
It's the morning after and one or two members of the consortium are regretting their alcohol fuelled excesses of the previous day. Kevin is extremely miffed at hearing that Bill spent his winnings on the horse instead of paying off some of his debt to Kev and Sally. He rips into Bill in no uncertain manner. Fred, on the other hand, is cock-a-hoop at being a horse owner, telling Jack that it does no harm at all in impressing the ladies. Upon hearing that Bill is regretting his part in the purchase, Fred quickly buys Bills share for £250 and later buys Martin's share for £200. Sean and Des are in the pub and Sean convinces Fred, Jack and Gary that they should race the horse as often as possible, but only to get them to spend more in the bookies. Jack later has a phone call from the trainer, Hilary Forrest, who demands advance payment of stabling and training fees to the tune of £640 to be paid the next day. It's going to end in tears, I fear.
Anne calls in to the Rovers to aplogise to Andy for their falling out the previous night and offers to cook him a meal that night if he has the place to himself. Vicky has to more or less force Steve to visit Jim in Strangeways and while talking about it afterwards at the flat, there is a knock at the door. Who has come to call but Grandad, Alec Gilroy. Vicky is delighted, Steve seems less so.
Best appearance: Fred. I warm to this character more and more and he turned in two Leghornisms to boot. His scene where he was trying to sell horseshit to Mavis was a hoot!
Most welcome appearance: Josie's trim. Much needed but sadly, too little too late.
Having sold his share in Betty's Hotshot to Fred, Bill gives the money from the sale to Kevin and utters his weekly mantra of "I'm sorry etc, I'll pay you back just as soon as I can." Mike is complaining to Alma that his solicitor is taking too long finalising the garage sale but the sale is completed that afternoon. Mike wishes Don all the best for the future. Don & Josie pay Kevin a visit and tell him that his and Tony's jobs are safe and that they are surprised that he didn't consider buying the place himself. He tells them that he was given first refusal but didn't want to burden himself with £40,000 of debt. Given that Don and Josie paid £43,000, they look unamused to hear this. Mike later tells Alma that he had deliberately left a letter stating that the garage was worth £50,000 lying around in the office so that Josie would read it.
Following his unexpected return, Alec spends the night on Vicky and Steve's sofa-bed. Steve is fuming at Alec's arrival and tells Vicky that she had better find out exactly why he's back and quickly. Alec tells them that he is heading Sunline Travel's northern operation but when Vicki tries to contact him on the number he gave her, she finds it is the travel agent on Rosamund St. She goes round there and finds Alec being shown how to use the computer. He is obviously very embarassed by her visit and tries to make out that he is in charge but it doesn't look that way. Later that evening, after Alec has congratulated the Duckworths on getting the Rovers, Steve quizzes Alec about his future plans. Alec waffles about his position in Sunline and when pushed about where he is going to be staying he says he will sort something out. Vicky says he can stay as long as he wants, but Steve says angrily that he has until Monday to go, or he will. Sounds like too good an offer to refuse!
The horse syndicate
Sarah Lou overhears Jack and Rita in the Kabin talking about Fred buying up the shares in the horse. Jack jokes about Fred wanting sell the meat in his shop. She is very upset about this and in an acting display worthy of her big brother, accuses Martin of selling his share to "the big fat butcher" so he can kill it. Martin tries to convince her that it was not the case but with limited succsess. Hilary Forrest turns up in the Rovers and collars Alf, Fred and Jack for her payment of £640, which the syndicate is reluctant to part with. She reveals that the horse is outside and that they will have to find alternative arrangements. Everyone pours outside and sure enough, she is unloading the beast from the horsebox. Martin & Bill, having sold their shares the day before find it all very amusing. Eventually Fred and Alf write cheques for half the amount each intending to settle matters with the other members. Hilary is very pleased and tells them that the horse is showing very good form. Later, Fred and Jack enquire of Sean Skinner if he thinks he thinks they have made a good buy. Sean, who is only interested in them putting bets on at his bookies, tells them that they have, and they should get him in a race as soon as possible.
Worst performance: Sarah Louise. I thought this young lady was showing a lot of promise but she turned in a very stilted and inadequate performance in her scenes with Gail and Martin. Producers please take note, if the kids aren't up to it. let them just eat their tea.
Best line: Vera on hearing Jack boasting that Hilary had said that Betty's Hotshot looked had looked very good over the gallops. "Any horse will look fast running past trees!"
Poorest decor: Steve and Vicky's bathroom. Bright blue! Yuk!!
Having been given an ultimatum to move out by Steve, Alec tells Vicky that Sunline wanted him to stay in a 5 star hotel but that he had preferred to spend some time with her. He later spins her a tale that he has bumped into an old client from his theatrical agent days who now runs a private hotel and that he is going to stay there as he prefers somewhere friendly to the five star hotel. Surprisingly, his nose remains a constant length during this speech!
Ashley just 'happens' to be walking down Coronation St on his way to work as Kelley is heading for Ken's. Kelley seems to have set her sights on Ashley (perhaps the thought of all those pies at Uncle Fred's) and tells him that if he's walking back that way at 6, they could go for a drink in the Rovers. Ashley is extremely enthusiastic. Later, when they meet in the Rovers, Ashley is eager to leave before his Uncle Fred comes in. They decide to go for a pizza, Kelley exclaiming 'I'm famished!'. Thousands of CS fans rush out to buy shares in Pizza-Hut!
Judy is fuming after learning that Gary has used their holiday money to pay his shares of the horse training fees. While Gary is talking horse with Jack and Fred, Judy storms into the pub and tells Gary, in time honoured northern housewife style, that his dinner is on the table and will be on his head if he's not home immediately. (What a woman!) Fred, seeing a chance to increase his share in the nag, offers to buy Gary's share but is turned down. Fred tells Jack that he wants to go watch the horse train in the morning and he wants him to come. Jack says that Vera might be difficult to persuade to let him go but in a display of reverse psychology worthy of Freud himself, Jack gets Vera to force Jack to go watch it train. Fred and Jack decide not to tell Gary about the trip as they fear more abuse form Judy. However, he overhears Vera talking about it and is only too keen to skive off work to accompany them.
R Jamie is at a loose end, it being a schoolday, and is wondering down the back ginnel kicking a can. He is chastised by Percy and told that he should be grateful that he is not his grandson. 'I am!' retorts the young blade. Moments later, Percy having gone back in, a young girl enters the ginnel and begins to try all the back gates. Finding Don & Josie's gate open she steals Josie's bike. Having witnessed this, Jamie sets of in pursuit of the culprit. He catches her up, a tussle ensues and he gets the bike off her. In the meantime, Don has discovered that the bike has been stolen and asks the customers in the Rovers if they have seen anything. Percy tells him that he had seen Jamie hanging around at the back. Jamie arrives back in the Street and finds Josie, he tells her about the theft and gives her the bike back and asks her for a reward. she is about to hand over a tenner, when Don arrives and accuses Jamie of operating a scam like he did with the punctures. Jamie protests his innocence but Don and Josie will not believe him. Josie goes round to see Tricia and threatens to call the police if she sees him near her house again. They have a furious row and Tricia screams at Josie to get out. Josie doesn't utter the expected 'I'll get you for this, my pretty, and your little dog too!', but leaves. Tricia tries to get the truth out of Jamie. He sticks to his story and she eventually believes him.
Don has a wander round the garage on his way to work.. Telling Kevin and Tony that he just wants to 'cast an eye over the empire' and that he will be a better boss than Baldwin cos he'll invest profits in the business rather than spending it on a flash car! He and Josie discuss renaming the business as MVB Motors is not suitable. After close of business, Kevin arrives at the house and tells them that the compressor has packed in and that it was clapped out when Baldwin bought. They should be able to pick one up for about 5 grand!! There is a pause and two thuds as Don & Josie's jaws hit the floor. Don moans that that's a brilliant start and hopes that nothing else wears out. Kevin points out that most of the kit was picked up second hand and wasn't very good condition when they got it. We are left with a shot of Don, a four letter word flying through his head, as the credits roll.
Best line: Tricia to Jamie when Jamie called Derek 'Wilton'. 'Ey! It's 'Mr' Wilton to you......... Dozy Derek, d'you mean?'
Best acting for a young 'un: R Jamie. The boy done good!
Jack, Fred and Gary are off bright and early to the stables to watch Batty's Hot Shot being put through it's paces. Meanwhile Vera has overslept and the pub is in a mess as none of last nights empties have been cleared away. Joyce tells Vera that she should get another barmaid in and tells her that Judy would be good. Vera, obviously, isn't that keen and tells Joyce she'll think about it.
Ashley calls on Kelly at Ken's but she is reluctant to let him in so arranges to meet him in the park at lunchtime. He gives her a kiss but their snatched moment of tenderness is broken by the sound of Uncle Fred, arriving back with Jack and Gary, extolling the virtues of horse ownership at high volume. Ashley is on his bike and away in seconds without being seen by Fred. The horseowners good humour is shattered by the appearance on the pub doorstep of our Vera in a hairnet and curlers telling Jack, at an even higher volume than Fred, that he better get in and help get the pub ready. Gary and Fred exit at high speed!
Later that night, Vera is again at full stretch and asks Joyce to help out collecting and washing glasses.
Kelly and Ashley are chatting in the corner when the quiet is shattered by the arrival of Fred, who immediately embarasses Ashley by asking Kelly's name and breaking into a tuneless but loud rendition of 'Where's our Kelly' and pinching Ashley's cheeks as if he were a two year old.
Vicky receives a visit from two CID officers who quiz her aggressively about Malcolm and Brenda Fox. Vicky is convinced that they know about the bribe and are out to get her for conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. Steve convinces Vicky that Fox will not admit to receiving the bribe as he'd be charged too.
Maureen is still miserable and Maude is desperate to get Maureen out on an attempt to cheer her up. When she asks Deidrie to take her out that evening, Maureen overhears and refuses vehenently. However, Maude sees Liz in the Rovers and asks her to sort something out so Liz organises a girls night in at her house and invites Maureen. Over several glasses of wine the girls reminisce about their loves past and present. Doesn't seem to cheer our Maureen up much though!
While having a lunchtime beer, Kevin is surprised to hear Jack tell him that he'll "drop the car in later". Kev asks him what he's on about and Jack tells him that Don said that he can have it serviced that afternoon. Kev tells Jack that he'll have to book it in like everyone else and that they are busy. Jack later complains to Don who, after moaning about having to buy a new compressor, rows with Kevin telling him that he's the boss and that they'd better service Jack's car straight away. He then runs home, well, limps home to Josie and tells her that the horrible boys are ganging up on him and he wishes they'd never bought the business. Josie jollies him along and tells him it's early days etc, but looks equally worried.
Worst appearance: Vera in hairnet and curlers. Worsened by the natural outdoor lighting, I can only deplore the absence of any warning for the faint hearted before the programme. Be afraid, be very afraid!
Maudes hat: Bantam Returns! (Not a typing error!) :-)
Best appearance: Fred showing up Ashley, a wonderful scene. John Savident is really getting into his stride with this character. Every scene a joy!