Hello again. It seems like only yesterday that I was posting my last Update - oh, it was. Thank you to those of you who were kind enough to send me encouraging e-mails, they were much appreciated. CP sent me a congratulatory e-mail and we found we have an interest in common. RIGHT! The person who shouted "toyboys" can leave the classroom right now!
Without further waffle, I'll get down to business.
We open at the Baldwin residence where Alma is serving coffee to Mike and questioning him yet again about what is worrying him. You'd think she would know him better by now and realise he'll only tell her what he wants to tell her. He insists that all his troubles are over and tries to distract her by suggesting that they lunch out. Alma doesn't want to go because she her hair looks awful. (Nothing that a session with the Carmen rollers and a can of Elnett won't put right dear.)
Culture break - A little pome for you Pam Ayres "A set of heated rollers is every maids delight They save you wearing curlers in the middle of the night They keep you looking lovely When other girls do not And when your feet are freezing cold, your head is boiling hot".
We now return to our normal programming.
Mike suggests ringing Audrey to ask her to open up and do Alma's hair. In a rare moment of sensitivity he offers to make the call and says Audrey will realise that Alma needs cheering up. At this point, stirred by the memory of my gypsy ancestors, I have a vision of the future. I predict that Alma's hair will look no different after the Audrey Roberts treatment than it does now.
Meanwhile, on the Street, enter stage left a scurvy knave. 'Tis Tyrone and forsooth, he is on the cadge - as the Immoral Bard once said. (Actually, I was madly in love with a bloke called Tyrone when I was 14 years old, but that's another chapter of my memoirs.) Tyro tries tapping Kevin for a job in the garage but all there is for him to do is put t'kettle on and find the bikkie tin. (I like an early morning hobnob myself, as it happens.) Kevin spots Sally looking over the charred remains of her van and calls to Tyro to keep an eye on the garage until Jim comes in. He goes over to comfort Sally who has now realised that her complete stock of cheap, nylon knickers was in the van and has presumably melted. They must be the sort Sally wears herself which is why she is so easily overheated by unsuitable suitors. (I favour natural fabrics next to *my* skin; preferably someone else's skin.) But I digress ...
In the corner shop. Everyone's being boring ... Steve, rolls eyes ... Nita winks and purses her lips ... yawn, yawn .. at the end of which she refuses a date anyway. What a waste of time. Who cares? But soft, who enters? It's Camp Dad, who has bought a belated birthday present for his little girl. It is a silver bracelet with a sickly inscription. It is late because Camp Dad got it through a friend, presumably the Uncle in the Goodness, Gracious, Me sketches who can get anything half price!
At the Kabin, Toyah is attempting to wind up Leanne about Ashley fancying her but she is only succeeding in winding-up Arsenic and Old Face, who are already in a strop because Leanne was too late to do her turn at marking the papers up.
At the garage Jim wants to know why Tyro was left in charge. "'Cos I'm a mechanic." "And precisely what sort of mechanic are you?" asks Jim. "A natural" replies our junior hero.
I hope that Tyro is going to stay around the garage as I thinks that he and Jim will make an excellent double act.
As we come up to the commercial break we see Mike burning the incriminating photos.
After a few ads which fail to tempt even I, a seasoned shopaholic we return to the Rovers where Audrey and Alma await Mike. I am now able to prove my gift of prediction for Alma's hair looks exactly the same as before it was done. Another tonsorial triumph for Hair (not) by Fiona Middleton. Mike, of course, has a bit of sense and compliments the style and the styliste.
Vera looks on enviously. Why doesn't she have husband who takes her out for lunch? She moans to Jack that he never takes her anywhere. "Yes, I do. I took you out yesterday" "What" she says "to Roy's caf?" "Well I sat with you, didn't I?" replies her ever-loving spouse.
She tries to get Jack to take a day off so that they can go out but he has promised Natalie that he'll work. I don't know how he managed that 'cos she is the invisible landlady at the moment. Jack suggests that Vera should arrange a day out with Trish and family. I've got a better idea. Why don't they come back to visit? We'd like that on RATUCS.
Over in a booth Spider has bought Nita a drink and then gives her his present. He explains that it is a dreamcatcher and how it works. Nita is really pleased with it and gives him a big smacker on the lips.
The police come and pick up Sally's van and tell Kevin it's almost certainly arson. Sally later tells Sharon that she's frightened that next time the fire could be lit through the letter box. At least the girls will be safe, they would in all likelihood be in the bathroom washing their hands, so they'd have plenty of water and towels to hand to help their escape.
Sally calls on Kevin to collect the insurance claim forms he has been looking at for her. Unfortunately her knickers aren't covered (ooh er) as she didn't pay the business premium. He offers to help find her a new van and agrees to take the girls out the next day to give Sally a chance to get sorted out. At this cosy little scene Alison has a bit of a sulk. She later asks if it will always be like this and he assures her he is just being friendly.
In the corner shop Vikram has another go at making a date with Leanne. When she's gone Nita warns him to be careful. Honestly, advice from a woman who can chat up Steve McDonald!
Back in the Rovers Vera and Eunice enter, all smiles. Vera is off to Ryll tomorrow with Trish so she's happy. "Tea for two tomorrow Jack" trills the Lascivious Landlady. She tells him she'll give him something meaty; by the look on her face she is expecting Jack to return the favour!
Curly is standing at the bar when Spider approaches. He wants some advice and has heard that Curly has "extensive knowledge of the female psyche". He is confused by Nita's changeable behaviour toward him. And what are the sage and thoughtful words of advice offered by Curly? "Give her the elbow mate, she's playing games. Get out while you can" "Too late" sighs Spider "I think I love her" Aaaah!
Ashley is on the sofa waiting for Leanne so that they can watch a video, but she has been thinking about Toyah's warning that he fancies her, so she goes out to meet Vikram instead.
The episode ends back at Mike and Alma's flat. Alma is apologising for being selfish, she's been so wrapped up in her own problems that she has ignored whatever is worrying Mike. "Alma, you're too good for me" says Mike. "DAMN RIGHT" comes the reply from thousands of viewers who'd like to give him a punch on the snoot. The music fades in over some lovey dovey looks.
This episode written by Phil Woods.
How was it? A good episode but not a great one. As usual it was the interplay of certain characters that made the difference. Let's have more of Tyro and Jim, say I.
Well, this is the end of my Updating stint, unless I an called on to stand in again which I'll gladly do if needed. So I'll say Au Revoir.
Vivienne
Hiya :)
I do apologise for the fact that this Update is running seven days late, but it's been one of those weeks. One of those fortnights, really, I should say... Unfortunately, by the point at which I realised I wasn't going to have the time or energy to do the Update, it was far too late to find a replacement, so I thought "Better late than never, I'll do it meself"... Thus, here it is, to be directly followed in another post by this week's to get myself back on track (Two in one night! Ooh, the stamina!)...
The show opens with Kevin and Alison in the car, about to take the gurrrls out for a day at the zoo. Sally shows up to wave them off and inform Kev that both tykes have been given a whopping "three pounds each" to spend throughout the day. His reaction is a polite "Oh, right" rather than an emphatic "thankyou", which doesn't surprise me since three pounds a piece will hardly even buy them a soft drink at today's inflated prices! Still, it's the thought that counts, I suppose... As the car disappears down the road, who should come driving in from the opposite direction, tooting his horn, but Mr Boring himself... Dull Danny, the 'hunky' market-seller! Needless to say, Sickly goes all gooey and grinny at the mere sight of him and it transpires that he's here to offer his services for the day, having heard about her van getting torched... Sure enough, faster than you can say "Bloody Hell, this bloke's dull!", she's invited him inside for a cuppa.
Cut to The House Of Elliot, where Leanne descends the stairs looking somewhat hungover from her night out with the Dreaded Five V's (Vile, Vapid, Vacuous, Vacant, Void Vikram in case you'd forgotten the full nickname ;)). Ashley is sitting on the sofa and proceeds to give her a brief and well-meaning semi-lecture along the lines of "I heard you come in last night.. or should I say this morning?"... When he goes as far as to ask where she went for such a long time, Leanne snaps his head off (metaphorically!), barking "Are you jealous or something??" - Obviously, he protests that he was merely taking an interest and is just trying to be a good friend, so The Battered Battersby apologises limply and retreats to the bedroom for some more rest, clutching her head...
...As we skip across to the Webster Household where Sickly is sharing a cup of tea with Dully, the hunky market-seller. He asks where her kids are and is a little taken-aback and **far too** embarrassed when she tells him that they're with their Dad. "Uh uh hhhuuh", he stutters, fiddling with his teacup, "I thought you were on your own"... She proceeds to explain that she's seperated and will soon be divorced, which calms him down somewhat (is it just me or is it *patently* obvious that, right off the bat, he wants to be considerably 'more than friends' with her??)... "I'm a free woman", explains Cadfael (is it just me or is it *patently* obvious that, right off the bat, she wants to be considerably 'more than friends' with him??)... They swiftly change the subject (arg) to Sally's van and she is adamant that it's an arsonist at work. The thing she's most upset about is the fact that she left all of her stock inside the van and won't be able to get some more in a hurry. Suddenly though, she has an idea (first time ever?)! - "Can you spare me five minutes, Danny?" (What *IS* she up to?)
Merciful cut then, to behind the Mallett Household, where Gareh is off to work, ladder in hand. Judeh thinks he's daft to go window-cleaning on a Bank Holiday but he is convinced it's a good step towards building up his round. He explains that hardly anyone is ever home between Monday to Friday to answer the door when he pops in asking if they want their windows done, reckoning that a Bank Holiday is a prime opportunity to strike these folk, since no-one will be out at work. His wife appreciates this, but also adds that she would rather they spend the time together as they don't get enough of this as it is. He tells her, merrily, that they simply need to make the most of the time they do have before they are rudely interrupted by one of the babies crying. As Judeh goes to attend to Wailing William, Gareh kisses her goodbye and whistles off into the distance with his ladder.
Over at Underworld, meanwhile, in the Office Of Mike Baldwin, Sickly and Dully appear, interrupting his (no doubt nefarious) chain of thought. "Whaddyo want?" he grunts at the Putrid Pair, and Sally responds that she's looking to buy some affordable fabric, since all her stock went up in smoke. Mike tells her that he'll sell to her ("I'll do business with anyone, as long as they've got the money") but that he can't sort it out in a day and she should come back tomorrow... "I hope you've got transport for this.." Baldwin begins but Danny, the Knight In Denim Armour, cuts him off, stating gruffly "She'll have transport, alright"... Sickly looks up at him and smiles with a simpering "My hero!" look on her face.
Across at The Cornershop, a borderline-surreal conversation ensues between Nita and Curly. He seems to be talking very loudly indeed about very little and it transpires, after much waffle, that he's looking to buy a wine that "wipes the boots on the old palette"... Perhaps he's trying to impress her somehow, but it doesn't work since she (with her back turned to him) responds to his nuttiness with polite shopkeeper-talk. "Ah, this'll do, the ol' red", hollers Curly, picking up a bottle from the shop, "It's earthy... VIRILE! Full of the Warm South!" - (Is he slowly metamorphosising into Fred Elliot!!?) Anyway, as the Manic Manager purchases the wine and exits stage left, who should walk in but the 5 V's Of Doom! Vile, Vapid, Vacant, Void, Vacuous Vikram! He wants not only a 40 advance on his wages (he gets 20) but also wishes to swap shifts with his sister at last minute notice, so as he take Leanne out for the second night in a row! Obviously, Nita tells him no, so 5V-Vik threatens to fake influenza tonight in order to get out of doing his shift!! Bleh, is there no end to this character's blatant hatefulness? Vikram is *definately* the new Nicky Tilsley - An utterly irredeemable character played by a totally reprehensible 'actor'. May I be the first to suggest that he is chopped up immediatedly and crammed into one of Fred's meat pies?
In Eunice's Guesthouse, Vera is getting ready for her day out in Rhyl with Ray and Tricia. The taxi shows up and Jack bids her a warm farewell... However, no sooner as she's out the door is Eunice allll over the Bewildered Barman! "So, Vera's away for the day..." she coos, seductively, "What shall we do today? It's a holiday, you're supposed to have fun... fun and games..." - Jack sees what she's got in mind instantly and explains hurriedly that he simply *must* get back to work at the Rovers, Bank Holiday or not... "You don't have to", she suggests, "I can phone up and say you're in bed.. It needn't be a lie!"... At this, he looks positively terrified but is thankfully saved by the bell as Gareh Mallett shows up at the door, wondering if the Guesthouse needs it's windows cleaned. "I'm here to offer me services!" he chirps and Jack spies his cue to leave... "Eunice here'll fill your bucket and she'll even wring your shammy out with any luck!" (MISSUS!!) coughs Jack, running out of the front door as fast as his heart will carry him.
END OF PART ONE
PART TWO
Part Two begins (as second halves often do) with a scene in the Rovers. Mike and Alma sit in a booth discussing dinner. Just then, Deirdre appears, glad to have caught Mike, and asks him all about an anomaly she seems to have found whilst balancing the books: "There's an invoice from Mercury for an ENORMOUS amount of fabric. It's far more than we usually have, it's almost ten thousand pounds! It's not even as if we've taken delivery for the stu..." - At this point she is cut off by Mike viciously snapping at her, claiming that he does *NOT* want to talk about work on a Bank Holiday. The D retreats to the bar, tail between her legs whilst Alma looks on in horror at the way Mike has just behaved. "That was a bit rough, call her back!" gasps the long-suffering Mrs Baldwin but, of course, her husband is unrepentant and refuses to do anything of the sort...
Just then, Gareh Mallett enters the pub and orders a pint from Jack, as they engage in a slightly cheeky conversation:
Jack: (Whispering hoarsely) "What 'appened?"
Gareh: (Slightly confused) "How d'ya mean?"
Jack: (Looking around to check that no one can hear) "At Eunice's..."
Gareh: (Merrily) "Oh, I cleaned the windows! There's quite a few of 'em isn't there? It's a big place..."
Jack: (Raising an eyebrow) "Is that all?"
Gareh: (Catching on to Jack's line of questioning) "Ah, no.."
Jack: (Dirty grin on his face) "AHHH!"
Gareh: (Lowering his voice, to meet with Jack's seedy tones) "Afterwards, you see..."
Jack: (Chuckling grubbily) "hehe.. aye?"
Gareh: (Whispering) "She made me a cup of tea..."
Jack: "And?"
Gareh: (Slowly..) "She said.. I could clean her windows... every fortnight..."
Jack looks almost disappointed that Gareh didn't succumb to Eunice's charms. Perhaps it may have taken the heat off him a little? (More on this later!)
Back in the Cornershop, Ravi is lecturing 5V-Vikram on his attitude towards his job. "You've not been pulling your weight around here!" he tells him, sternly, but I don't need to tell you that the Vile, Vapid, Void, Vacant, Vacuous One merely reels off a string of half-hearted excuses in return. Ravi is having none of it and tells him that he *will* work the evening shift tonight and will have to "un-arrange" any plans he has, which prompts a storm of protest from 5V-Vik who whines "But I'm taking Leanne out tonight!" - Of course, his choice in women displeases his Father even further: "So young and already a broken marriage!" he cries "Vikram, what the Hell are you doing!? You've got brains so use them!"... Ravi leaves in a huff after this, as Steve MacDonald enters and is told by Nita that he is just the man she's looking for since the electric in her flat has turned itself off and needs fixing... She (foolishly) leaves 5V-Vik in charge of the store, whilst her and Cadaver Boy head upstairs.
Jack returns home from work to the Guesthouse and tries to sneak silently up the stairs. It doesn't work as he's soon copped by Eunice who grabs him and drags him into the dining room where she's prepared his very favourite meal, liver and onions... A good plan it seems, since as soon as Jack hears of the dinner, he loosens up and smiles. She has also lit a candle in the middle of the table and laid out a bottle of (ORCHESTRAL HIT!) Red Wine! "You sit down here", she coos, "Let me be your serving wench"... He gruffly chuckles with approval and says "Liver and onions.. Mm, Eunice, you spoil me!" - "Wait until you see what's for dessert!" giggles the Lecherous Landlady...
Steve and Nita are standing in her darkened flat trying to establish what's happened with the electric. I can't be bothered to explain the details of what he tells her but it seems that all he has to do is flick a switch a fusebox and everything's back to normal... Nita is very thankful and Steve plays on this, telling her that usually he would charge 40 (!) for that but luckily she's on a "Select List of One" for whom he'll do it for free. She invites him to stay for a cup of tea and "maybe even a piece of cake".
Outside, Sickly and Dully return to the Street. It seems they've been out shopping all day for a new van to replace the burnt one. She is very grateful that he's taken the time out to go with her and, to show her gratitude, asks him over to the Rovers for a drink, on her... As they head off down the road, the camera cuts to outside Nita's flat where Spider is standing. He knocks on the door and waits... She appears at the door, a bit flushed, as he stutters "Oh, er, hi, I just thought I'd pop round to say 'ello" only to be asked (politely) if he could make it another time since she's "up to the eyeballs" (ROFL! Is this a nice way of saying "I've got Steve 'Googly Eyes' MacDonald upstairs"??) at the moment and can't fit him in. He says this is fine and walks off happily, while she returns to the flat where Steve has made himself quite comfortable on the couch. Googly Eyes realises that it was Spider at the door and is well-chuffed that the eco-warrior has been sent away. "He walks around like he's some street-smart kinda guy", remarks the Great Rotting Cadaver Boy, "But what is he really? Some bloke in a woolly jumper who lives with his Auntie"... Nita tries to defend our Arachnid Hero by saying that he's "nice", but of course Steve reckons "nice guys finish last". At this point, she conveniently remembers that she's left 5V-Vik in charge of the shop and has to dash back to work, adding "You can see yourself out, Steve"...
Speaking of the 5 V's of Doom, he's currently outside The House Of Elliot (that was a quick shift change!!!), ringing the doorbell. Prince Ashley of Peacock greets him with a frown but Leanne, in the lounge painting her toenails, is only too happy to let the Vile One in... He announces that he can't take her out tonight after all, since he's been forced to work, then apologises insincerely and leaves... "It'll do you good to have a night in", comments Ashley who has been listening in on all this, "There's a good film on telly!"...
Back at the Guesthouse, love (of sorts!) is in the air, as the red wine is starting to affect both Jack and Eunice... They flirt hilariously for a few minutes before she puts things quite bluntly and states "You see, Jack, you're a mature man... Now, a young man, he goes at it like a bull at a gate, but I bet *you* know how to take your time", before reaching out, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. He suddenly realises that Eunice has far more in mind than a bit of harmless flirtation, as a look of sheer horror emerges on his face!
Meanwhile, in T'Rovers, Vera has returned early from Rhyl and wonders where Jack is... Judeh, who is serving, has no idea where he could be and wonders (as we all do) why Vera has come home so soon. It seems that little Bradleh got sick on the journey there and they were forced to call it a day... She decides to head back to the Guesthouse and see what's wrong with Jack, as the camera cuts to the other side of the bar where Leanne is flirting with Tom the Hairdresser (remember him??)... He asks her out and she replies "I'm always game for a night out, me", as the two leave the bar, giggling... Audreh is standing nearby and comments to Jim MacDonald: "She's got three lads on the go already, to my knowledge... The bloke in the Corner Shop, 'Ram by name, 'Ram by nature, I daresay! Then there's Tom, I mean I'm sorry to see he's been taken in by her... And young Ashley, her housemate. I mean, he may not be taking her out but he's taking her back in every night! You know, she's a right little trollop, I think!" - LOL! Jim just nods and murmurs in that precious way of his as we cut to a booth where Sickly and Dully are sitting... She's in the middle of thanking him (AGAIN) for helping her look for a van today when Kevin walks in to tell her that he's ready to drop the gurrls (who are currently waiting in the car with Alison) back home. Sickly goes to fetch the gurrls and doesn't introduce Kevin and Dully, unsurprisingly. However, the two of them do exchange the kind of dirty looks that only a couple of boneheads can.
Back at the Guesthouse, Eunice has straddled Jack atop the sofa and is sweating and panting "You're making me ill.. the frustration... All bottled up inside.. It's making me poorly..." (Strange Kudos to Meg Johnson here, BTW, for an absolutely 100% *perverted* performance!).. Jack points out that he has a pain in his chest, to which the Lecherous Landlady merely responds "Mmm, here, put it on me, Jack, that'll make it better" before rubbing her own chest against his! (and to think this was transmitted before 9'o'clock at night!!!) - "I knew you had feelings for me, Jack" she drools, "Don't fight it! Don't fight it!! I knew from the moment you walked into this house that we were fated, you and me!" - However, who should walk into the very same house at this precise moment? Sure enough it's Vera! Swiftly, seconds before Vee hits the living room, Eunice has dismounted poor ol' Jack and straightened her clothes up... Jack however, is not so healthy and is still lying on the couch... clutching his chest! "Vera!", he gasps, "I think I'm having a heartattack!!!"
The final scene is set at the Baldwin's Flat, where Alma and Mike are relaxing after a nice fillet steak meal. His mobile 'phone rings and, no prizes for guessing, it's Julia Stone. "I've got a new consignment of fabric for you", she says snidely, "Very revealing patterns. I forgot to throw them in with your last order.. They're a bargain at 10,000!" - He realises that she is attempting to blackmail him *even further* into giving her another 10,000 and puts the 'phone down on her, exclaiming "You can go to Hell!" - It seems she is already there, however, or at least she's in the company of the Devil... As the camera cuts to a new, unfamiliar surroundin, Julia puts her own 'phone down and says "I told you he wouldn't like it"... The camera pans across... A male voice says "That's the whole point. But he'll pay, don't worry. He's got no choice..." - Who could this person be?? *drumroll please* It's GRUESOME GREG KELLY!!!! HE'S BACK!! And, as they said when "Aliens" was released: "THIS TIME IT'S WAR!" - (Although, I have a feeling "This time it's BORE" would be more appropriate in his case...)
Cue credits.
So, all in all, despite the rushed update, this John Stevenson-scripted episode wasn't a totally bad one. On the downside, I'm sick to the teeth already of Vikram Desai, who seems to have taken it upon himself, in Nick Tilsley's absense, to ensure we always have at least *one* member of the cast who's virtually guaranteed to ruin any scene he appears in. I was almost warming to the character when he became (briefly) Steve MacDonald's accountant but now it seems he's gone right back to being the brainless, sex-obsessed, lazy and irritating idiot he was when he first appeared.
The Baldwin Blackmail story is dragging a little. It was mildly exciting for the first few episodes but now it's getting silly. Especially Julia's (predictable) asking for *another* 10,000 on top of the first payment.. The fact that Blandford has returned doesn't help things and I pray this 1999 storyline for him isn't as finger-chewingly tedious as his 1998 one (yes, it *DID* last virtually all year!)... and of course, the less said about Sally Webster and her new fella the better.
Looking on the brightside, Meg Johnson is an absolute delight as the super-pervy Eunice Gee. Thoroughly ribald and far too cheeky for this early in the evening, but nonetheless a deeply humourous treat to watch. Also good to see Saeed Jaffrey back on our screens as Ravi Desai. As every updater will agree wholeheartedly, it *IS* impossible to get enough of this man's impeccable acting. He is pure gold. Sue Nicholls, also, is one of those cast members who brightens the place up at the moment. Audrey's little speech about Leanne was brilliant!
Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I have another Update to write before the night's out so I'll leave it at that... 'Til next time! :)
The Rattler
A CP Update with a difference, one which isn't accompanied by complaints from Kiwi volcano-dwellers :-) I'm filling in, while CP is, ermmmm, indisposed is the word, I think. Good heavens, these brown suede shoes *DO* feel odd ;-)
Breakfast at Sally's (not Tiffany's) - a mad rush to get the gurls out on time for school. The post arrives, shortly followed by a change of underwear. Who could the postcard be from?
In hospital, it's visiting time - the two women in Jack's life (so they think) come to see him, that's Vera and Eunice.Vera is anxious about Jack's health, Jack is either laid back or resigned to the slow tempo of things in hospital. Are they doing tests? - YES, has he had the results? - NO, has he had a heart attack? - DON'T KNOW! That seems to be the state of play. Still, things cannot be that bad, he says - if they were, then he would be in Coronary Care. Thank heavens for Eunice opening Jack's shirt, says Vee. Think nothing of it, is the gist of Eunice's reply. Thank God you were trained in emergency procedures, says Vee. Eunice and Jack exchange priceless glances!!!!!!!
Vikram chats up Leanne at the Kabin and asks her out to a party. The girl she say YES. Meanwhile Sally is showing her post to Rita - the postcard is from Greg - "how's business?" is the cryptic message. Well it gets the wind up Sally and she agrees with Rita's suggestion that the police need to be informed. He MUST be behind the torching of her van, thinks Sally.
Kevin is outside the garage. A customer has left his car locked, keys in the ignition. Luckily for Kevin, he is talking to Tyrone - a few seconds later - HEY PRESTO, OPEN SESAME - the door is opened. "How did you manage that?" asks Kevin. "Don't ask" is Ty's response.
Across the street, Sally's market stall pal, Danny, has turned up in his van. She gets in. They drive off. Kevin looks on. Ty comments about the guy having "the women eating out of his hands".
At the Corner Shop, Emily is shopping for some baking. She tells Nita that she is a hard act to follow, Spider was raving about her cooking the other night. Nita plays down the compliment. Enter Vikram. Now he has a date for tonight, he wants to swap over shifts with Nita. The girl she say NO.
Hospital time again. The good news is that there is no evidence of Jack having had a heart attack. The bad news is they want to do more tests, in particular, a stress test. But Vera is the ultimate stress test he tells the doctor.
At the Kabin, Tom is putting in a bid for Leanne's time tonight. YES, but not tonight, seems the gist of her reply. Enter Toyah to catch the tail end of the chat!!! Awww, one broken heart for sale!!
Sally and Danny enter the Underworld - I'm sorry, I'll read that again - Sally and Danny enter Underworld. Sally has come to pick up her stuff from Mike. She asks Deirdre whether they have heard from Greg Kelly. Mike surfaces at that moment to say that Greg Kelly is history - anyway, her stuff is ready for collection. She wants to pay him. We'll invoice you, snarls Baldwin. After Sally has left, Mike tears a strip off Deirdre for discussing the firm's business affairs. The phone rings, but she is told not to answer it.
Jack looks fetching in shorts - brings back memories, he tells the doctor, "Darting Jack Duckworth" - a few clubs had their eye on him. So did Vera. Guess who won? Time for the stress test - it's the treadmill - a chance to enable him to relive his glory days.
Time to finish for the day at the garage. Tyrone is enthusiastic - a few more nuts to tighten up. Kevin is impressed and asks whether he has thought of doing this for a living. "You kidding, people get nervous when they see me around cars" replies Ty. A few minutes later, Kevin has offered him an apprenticeship, "the pay is rubbish and you're up to your eyes in grease all day" is the smooth sales spiel, but for Tyrone, it's a dream come true.
At the Rovers, Steve gets uppity because Nita blew him out. He's not bothered (so he says). Some petty banter is exchanged. Spider is looking on, having a drink with Emily - he IS bothered. Emily tells him Nita has more sense than to get involved with the likes of Steve.She reassures him that he is still in with a chance and tells him Nita had really enjoyed his company the other night. "Really?" beams Spider. "Really" confirms Emily.
Sally has been to the police - they think that it could well be Greg who torched her van, she tells Rita. They would pick him up - if they knew where he was!!
Les enters the pub. Sally tells him she has received a card from Greg. "He always was thoughtful" is his amazing response. Sally is furious and warns him that if Greg shows his face then the police will be after him. Les accuses her of defaming his son's character.
At the Corner Shop, Playboy Vikram is shutting up shop early for his date. As he does so, Jim comes in for a pint of milk.Vikram refuses to serve him and suggests he goes round the corner to Rosamund Street. Jim is not impressed.
Back at Weatherfield General, the good news is that Jack can go home. The bad news is that the stress test results were not very good - as they suspected, he has angina due to narrowed coronary arteries. He has to come in for an angiogram to find out the extent of the problem. Meanwhile, he has to take it easy and not do any sudden exercise.
At the party, Leanne is in the swing of things. Vikram is curious about Nick - he ain't coming back and even if he did, I wouldn't want to know, is her reply. Interrogation over, they go off to dance.
Deirdre is telling Ken that she is upset at Mike snapping at her - Ken isn't too surprised and offers to have a word. Deirdre politely declines!!!
Ravi comes into the pub. Jim is confused and tells him about his exchange with Vikram. "You stay here, I'll personally get you a pint of milk" is Ravi's reply as he resolves to get to the bottom of the matter.
Deirdre decides to tackle Mike alone. He seems oblivious to the fact that his behaviour has upset her. When she summarises what has been happening, for the first time, he realises how things must look. He confides that it is nothing to do with her, but he is in a mess and doesn't know what to do.
Leanne is smashed out of her skull at the party. Vikram has an idea, they could have their own party back at her place .
Mike has confessed to Deirdre the full details about the Julia saga. He doesn't want to hurt Alma, he tells her. Deirdre cannot see an easy way out and foresees Julia coming after Mike for more and more money until she cleans him out and then telling Alma anyway. He should go to the police, she tells him.
Vikram has carried Leanne home in his arms. As they get ready for a good snog, Ashley comes down the stairs and plays the father figure. It's time for Leanne to go to bed and for Vikram to leave. "It's my party, this has nothing to do with you" says Vikram, "it's my house, it's got everything to do with me" replies Ashley. the two guys get into a scuffle but Ashley quickly gets the better of Vikram and throws him out of the house. By the time Ashley has come back in, Leanne has passed out on the settee. He carries her upstairs to bed.
Episode written by Ken Blakeson
Verdict: so-so.
BFN!! Alan Milewczyk
Hiya folks!!!! ... Time again for another update....
It's been a couple of weeks since the last one, many thanks to Vivienne Smith for stepping into my shoes last week - grand stuff and it looks like you've won yourself the Sunday Updater's tiara!! Welcome aboard!
Things are moving forward here - last week, I shifted all my "live" client files and binned the "dead" ones. The "dormant" ones which have to be kept for up to 7 years are now boxed awaiting collection. The health insurance claim is also going in. So the door closes on one chapter which has lasted the past 17 years. No regrets, I've learned a lot about life and myself. From a financial standpoint, I have up to about 3 years to sort myself and get the appropriate qualifications to enable me to do things in the computer field. In reality, it probably needs to be a bit less than that, but one step at a time....
Nice to have a micro-ping yesterday with Sylvia Dorman ("sfroms" aka as "Sylvia from Southport") who is over here, retracing her steps. Josef from Germany is also due over shortly, so we'll be meeting him and his wife Lisa. CRAP-Ping 2000 increasingly looks like becoming a reality sometime at the end of September 2000. Watch this space.
Can't think of anything else to say right now....
Episode sponsored by Cadbury's Crunchie
The programme starts in the Kabin. An extremely harassed Sharon has the morning's papers piled up on the counter. They have obviously not been sorted for delivery and the paperboys are waiting. Jim comes in for his paper and seeing the fraught look on Sharon's face, he asks whether she is running behind. "I'm not" she tells him, "I shouldn't even be here" and proceeds to explain that, yet again, Leanne has let her down - she should have been doing the job an hour ago. At that point, Ken comes into the shop saying that he doesn't appear to have received his paper - Jim tells him not to worry, as no-one else has, and, by way of a tip, he would be wise not to blame Sharon. Rita has come in to help Sharon and between them they decide who is going to mark up and sort out which round. As Ken and Jim leave Sharon and Rita to catch up on the backlog, Sharon tells Rita that she has had enough - when Rita asks whether Sharon has phoned her, Sharon's reply is that, as far as she is concerned, Leanne has not turned in, so she has dismissed herself. The look on Rita's face reveals a belief that perhaps Sharon is being a bit hasty.
Back at Ashley's, Leanne is on the settee, glass of water in hand, popping some painkillers into the glass. Ashley comes down the stairs and asks whether she has a hangover - he isn't too surprised because of the state that she was in when she brought Vikram back last night - in his ever-thoughtful way, he suggests a fry-up as a great cure for a hangover "puts a lining back on t'stomach" - heave!!!
Switching to the Baldwin's place, Alma is telling Mike they should have gone away this weekend, maybe to that same place where Mike had the rag trade do, "cos we liked it there, didn't we?" Mike replies unenthusiastically that it was "alright". Anyway, she recognises that they have left it too late, so she will settle for a drink at lunchtime. As Mike picks up his briefcase, she tells him "no more worrying". "No more worrying" he repeats and she tells him that from now on they are just going to be happy - Mike puts on a plastic grin [99p from B&Q ;-)].
At the Corner Shop, Ravi is not a happy man - he is telling Nita how he was trying to have a drink at the Rovers, when Jim had collared him to tell him that he had been unable to buy milk because the shop was shut. His disappointment was that much greater to find that the shop WAS shut. "Not my fault" replies Nita, but Ravi doesn't see it that way, after all "who keeps telling me that she is in charge of the shop?". When Nita tries to explain that being in charge doesn't mean that she is the only person working in the shop, Ravi puts her straight - there was nobody working in the shop last night!
Tyrone comes to the counter to be served - he proudly tells them that the milk is for him and Kevin and how he is working at the garage, "I'm on the books there now, proper job and all, else I wouldn't have all this gear on, would I?" Awwwww, he is soooo endearingly pleased as Punch! :)
As Tyrone leaves, Vikram comes in. "Ah, the playboy of Weatherfield" exclaims his father, "the man about town"! Nita asks Vikram why the shop wasn't open last night - Vikram maintains that it was. However, when Ravi tells him he is witness to the fact that it wasn't when Jim McDonald wanted some milk, Vikram corrects himself "well, it wasn't open ALL night" because "it was dead quiet, there were no customers", Ravi exposes the flaw in Vikram's argument "well it would be, because it was not open." Nita tries to lay the law down and tells Vikram that this is not the point because he is paid to be there whether there are customers or not. Vikram pursues his stubborn approach and tells that that this is stupid - as they launch into an argument, Ravi gets exasperated and tells them to sort things about between themselves, as he is not prepared to see his investment in the shop losing money because they cannot organise between them, as to who should be behind the counter. All he asks is that, when he is out having a peaceful drink, he does not wish to be disturbed by people asking him why they cannot get milk. He storms out of the shop, leaving behind Nita looking equally exasperated. Vikram makes light of it all "oh he'll be alright, do you want coffee?" "NO!!!" is the vehement reply.
At Eunice's B&B, Jack is busy studying the racing column of the paper, while Vera is on her way out to work. She is concerned for Jack's welfare, but Eunice is able to reassure her that she will "keep my eye on him". Jack looks decidedly worried and asks how long Vera is going to be - not long, but she has to do her job, Vera replies. Eunice tells Vera not to worry "I know what I'm doing, I nursed my dad until the bitter end." Those words have totally the wrong impact on poor Jack. Vera tells Jack not to do anything strenuous and how she is going to tell Natalie she will have to manage until you are back on your feet. "Oh that'll be next week" replies Jack, anxious to get away from Eunice's clutches. Vera brushes away Jack's statement but he insists that he will return next week. Vera gets exasperated with Jack, despite him being at death's door, he still doesn't think it was anything serious. Eunice puts it down to men's failure to face up to their own mortality and tells her that her father was placing bets on the horses an hour before his heart stopped, "I had to go and collect the winnings meself"!!!! ROTFL!! Poor Jack, the expression on his face is priceless. Anyway, Vera has to rush to work and, telling, Jack he has to take it easy, she departs.
After she has done so, Eunice offers "if there's anything I can do for you, you've only got to ask." "No, nothing" replies a petrified Jack!!! Wonderful stuff!! She leaves him to get a rest with the parting shot "I think you're right! A couple of days, you'll be back on your feet and you'll be raring (she roars the word) to go." Oh dear, poor Jack!!!
Rita has called round to see Leanne, who explains "I'm sorry, I sometimes get these spells when I'm not right well and this morning were one of them." Rita asks what brought them on, but Leanne plays dumb. Rita takes the bull by the horns and asks whether Leanne was out last night. Sheepishly, she confirms this was the case. When Rita asks whether Leanne was boozing, her reply is defensive - that's her business, she tells Rita. "It can stop that way, I'm just trying to help, that's all" replies Rita. Again, Leanne reluctantly admits that she did go out for a drink last night, so what? "So, you can't go boozing and do early morning papers, I never could" replies Rita, "there's nobody can, which you've just gone and proved by not turning up". Leanne asks what happens now, is she sacked? Rita confirms that Leanne is on the verge of losing her job and asks her whether she wants the job. Leanne's reply that she needs it provokes the response that needing and wanting are two different things. Repeating her question, elicits the confirmation that she does want the job - Rita's solution is that Leanne is to get dressed, go over to the shop right now, apologise to Sharon and tell her that it will never happen again, "only you had better mean it, otherwise don't do it!" Wise words indeed.
At Underworld, Mike is telling Deirdre that he has still not told Alma the truth about his one night stand with Julia and how he is finding it difficult to do so, after Alma's cancer scare. Deirdre points out that, surely it is better for Alma to hear it from Mike, instead of getting some nasty pictures through the post. Mike is clutching at straws - "maybe they won't see Julia again, maybe she'll get run over by a bus, maybe she'll try it on with someone else and they will bash her over the head, maybe .... anything." "And maybe, she'll ring up and ask for more money" offers Deirdre. "Ah well, maybe.... I'd just have to pay" replies Mike, reluctantly. He recognises, he is "going to have to pay one way or the other, either in cash or in endless grief, when Alma finds out, so who says cash isn't the easiest?" He knows he cannot keep paying for ever, but he doesn't think that Julia will be coming back forever, she isn't stupid, she must realise there is a limit and to be satisfied with what she has got. "And if she isn't?" asks Deirdre. "Well, in that case, I'll just have to tell Alma."
At the Kabin, it's "explain yourself and grovel" time, although you wouldn't think so, listening to Leanne. Although she starts off well enough by telling Sharon that she had slept through the alarm, once Sharon reminds her that this isn't the first time, Leanne's contrite mood evaporates very quickly and she gets into a defensive argument, one which she cannot win. Leanne tries to plays the sympathy card by telling Sharon that she has been through a lot, with losing her baby and Nick leaving, but this falls on deaf ears. She tells Leanne that if she is just going to waltz in with a string of excuses then she doesn't know why she is bothering. "Neither do I" is Leanne's stroppy reply.
Enter Tyrone, for some mints and chewing gum. "That's for me and Kev" he proudly announces, "I'm working over there now...". Continuing to Leanne, he adds, "...and you can tell your sister as well, if you like. It's a proper job, and all that... look.. " He points to his clean overalls. "And if she doesn't believe me, she can ask me boss, can't she?"
After he has left the shop, Leanne and Sharon continue their row. When Leanne's asks what else she is to say, Sharon replies that she doesn't want Leanne to say anything, she just wants to know that it won't happen again. Leanne is still in petulant mood and tells her that she didn't do it on purpose and more or less tells her to stick her job. There is a pause as both realise that Leanne has been headstrong and she admits that she needs a job. Sharon backs down with the warning that this is Leanne's absolute last chance "next time you sleep in, you might as well stop there for the day."
Having cleared the air, she then asks Leanne who she went out with "were it a lad?" "Might be" is Leanne's bashful reply. She is reluctant to come clean, until Sharon jokingly tells her to spill the beans, after all she has just given her her job back. Leanne discloses the identity of her boyfriend. "Oooh, him!" is the reply.
There is a loud hissing noise as I realise that it's the nation's greeting to welcome the return of Greg, coming up the stairs of his flat. "Well, the contracts are there on the table, they want me in on it, all we need now is the finance" he tells Julia. When she asks what she could do, his answer is to the point - she could always try to get another £10,000 from Baldwin, it would come in handy. She wonders whether he would come up with it, Mike doesn't like being told what do - Greg has no such qualms, Baldwin will do a lot to save his cosy little marriage, he tells her. Julia is clearly reluctant and Greg jumps in "you're going to tell me you know more about him than I do? Learned that in your previous profession, did you?" Julia is upset "I'd like to forget what I did in my previous profession, if you think we ever can.... What I did with Baldwin, I did for you, because you asked me to." She tells him that she didn't enjoy it, not one single minute - Greg gets into his usual apologetic routine - we've seen it all before, of course, but I suspect that this is new to Julia, as he tells her he has been under a lot of pressure. She confirms "I did it for you... and anything else you want, I'll do that as well.... Do you want me to ring him now and ask for another ten grand?" As he is going out, he tells her they will do it tonight "it will be something to look forward to, hearing Baldwin begging and pleading. Don't know what I like better, actually, that or the thought of the money..." He kisses her on the cheek....
... and the theme tune comes in, on cue for the end of part 1
After the ads, it's part 2
The second part of the programme commences at the Rovers - Judy
is serving at the bar and Jim is asking Vera about Jack's progress.
Vera informs them that Jack has been told to take it easy "but
it's like telling fish to swim, he's never done owt else. !!"
Mike and Deirdre are having a quiet talk - Alma comes into the pub and joins them. While Mike is at the bar getting her drink, Alma tales the opportunity to quiz Deirdre as to whether she knows what is bothering Mike. Deirdre plays it dumb.
At Eunice's place, Gary plus the twins have come round to visit Jack. Eunice sorts out the fellas with tea and then beats a retreat. Jack explains his dilemma to Gary - a lot of fellas would think he had landed on his feet, he tells Gary, ten years ago, he would have lapped it up but not now. Being taken into hospital has frightened Jack and made him weigh up what is important to him, "like your health." "And your marriage?" adds Gary. Jack hesitates. "Not your marriage, then" Gary corrects himself. The way Jack sees it, his health is paramount and the best of preserving it, "is to get out of here." "And away from temptation, eh?" adds Gary. Jack continues that he is not to have any stress or agitation and under no circumstances is he to try anything too strenuous. He just has to convince Vera that they need to get out fast.
At the Corner shop, we have a rare sighting - Vikram at the counter, serving!! He asks Emily how she is and, just as Em starts to reply how nice it is to have some decent weather, Vikram spots Ashley in the shop. His pleasantness evaporates rapidly as he tells Ashley he is not welcome in the shop - he was thrown out of Ashley's house, so he is now going to throw Ashley out of his shop. When Ashley tries to explain that his actions were for a very good reason, Vikram puts it down to jealousy - that Ashley would like to be going out with Leanne and resents Vikram doing so. Emily tries, unsuccessfully, to calm things down, but their voices become raised to the point that Nita comes in from the back. Steve comes into the shop and looks on as the sparring continues. Ashley leaves the shop, much to Nita's displeasure - she tells Vikram to behave and, in no uncertain terms, informs him that SHE will decide who is barred from the shop. Nita apologises to Emily for the altercation, which Emily puts down to the coming of spring. When Steve asks what the altercation was about, Nita, says she will tell him over a drink tonight. Steve quips that this is a turn up for the books, he only came in for a loaf of bread, but this is just enough to make Nita snap at him angrily.
At Underworld, Deirdre is about to leave for the day. Mike quizzes her as to whether Alma was probing at lunchtime. Deirdre tells him that Alma seemed to think that he had something on his mind, but she reassures him that she told Alma nothing. Deirdre asks Mike what made him get involved with another woman, considering his fondness for Alma. Mike isn't sure why it happened - it's not as if he was unhappy with Alma or looking for somebody else. He thinks some more and surmises that he was probably flattered, didn't think it would do any harm, a bit on the side... Deirdre asks Mike what would have happened had Julia been on the level and not out to blackmail him, would he have seen her again? Mike concedes he would have done. "And again after that?" probes Deirdre further. Mike recognises what Deirdre is getting at, it would not have stayed as a bit on the side. He is confused, but can only tell her what he was thinking at the time - he knows he was stupid and he will do anything he can so that Alma doesn't get hurt, but what he cannot do, is to turn the clock back.
Back at Eunice's, Jack is telling Vera how, lying in the hospital bed had him thinking about how much time you have left and what you are going to do with it. Vera isn't really paying attention to him as she is concentrating on reading a book. He tells Vera he has come to the conclusion he doesn't wish to spend his remaining days here, in a lodging house. He wants the two of them to be together, with some privacy and without some Tom, Dick or Harry wandering in, every few minutes. She concurs, so he suggests that they get the money and buy a house. Vera is puzzled at what has got into Jack, all of a sudden. "I've flaming told ya" yells Jack "being rushed into flamin' hospital, not knowing whether I am going to get out or not." Vera is still puzzled - she wonders whether he has had a falling out with Eunice. Suddenly, the penny drops. "Here!! You haven't been.. misbehaving, have you?" "I have NOT" denies Jack, vehemently.
Just as Jack insistently denies this, Eunice pops her head around the door to tell Vera that she has been looking after Jack. Jack takes the opportunity of telling Eunice that he and Vera have been discussing matters and decided to find a house. Eunice looks hurts - telling them that she will be sorry to see them go, she hopes that they have been happy during their stay. Jack reassures them that they have been, Vera adding that she is still happy - it's Jack who has the itchy feet. "And you want your own hearth to put them on?" asks Eunice. "Yes, I suppose I do" replies Jack, "you see, I suppose, I've been the homely sort, deep down." ROTFL!! Really??
At Ashley's, Leanne is reading the paper. Ash supposes she will be stopping in and Leanne confirms she doesn't have the energy for anything else. Neither does he, adds Ashley, especially after a late night, not that he has that many late nights these days. The doorbell rings and Ashley goes to the door. It's Vikram, come to see Leanne, who calls him inside. He sweeps past Ashley, looking disgruntled on the doorstep. Leanne is pleased to see Vikram but wasn't he supposed to be working, she asks him? he tells her that from now on, HE chooses when HE works. He wonders whether she would like to come out and have a drink, that is, unless she has to ask permission, this being a reference to Ashley's protective mode. She makes her own mind up, she tells him - she will be delighted to go out, all she needs is ten minutes to get ready. Saying that, she rushes upstairs, leaving Ashley and Vikram looking at each other, daggers drawn.
Back at the Rovers, Ravi is having a drink at the bar with Rita. He is telling her about he has sorted out his staff problem and that he has laid the law down - he has told Nita and Vikram that it is their job to run the shop and that he doesn't expect to be disturbed when he is having a quiet drink. Rita says that surely he isn't having problems with Nita - she seems pretty keen. Ravi starts to confirm that she isn't the problem, "my daughter, I can ..... rely upon", just as Nita comes to the bar, with Steve McDonald in tow - Oh dear!! Life IS full of bitter disappointments!!!!
Steve orders drink for Nita and himself. Seeing her father, Nita greets him and tells him not to worry, Vikram is in charge of the shop. "So long as one of you is" is Ravi's reply.
Steve asks Nita what sort of game she is playing with him - he is puzzled at her putting him off one minute and then wanting to have a drink with him, the next. She tells him that it isn't a game, she just doesn't like being chatted up by the guy she is paying to fix her flat. She acknowledges that sometimes her pride gets in the way and that makes her difficult to be with.
Enter Mike and Alma. She is saying that they don't have to go out but Mike says they have to start to doing more together. He orders drinks for himself and Alma.
Round the corner, Ken is having a drink with Deirdre. "Your employer's at the bar" he tells her he asks whether Baldwin is still giving her a hard time. Deirdre tells him that all is fine now and pretends that she doesn't know what the problem was. Ken surmises that Mike's attitude is down to jealousy of himself - he appreciates that Mike did a lot for her, when she was in prison and he doesn't have a problem with that, but Mike clearly sees himself as Deirdre's protector and now that he (Ken) is on the scene, Mike doesn't like that, he opines. Deirdre tells him she thinks Ken is wrong, but Ken insists "he is not only a small man, but a small-minded small man. He can't bear the thought of us being happy together." The look on Deirdre's face says "if only you knew the half of it", but, fortunately, she doesn't disclose Mike's secret.
Enter Vikram and Leanne. Who do they bump into? Nita and Steve!!!! Nita asks him what he is playing at, their father will go mad when he sees him. "Why should he?" replies Vikram, "he's having a drink and so are we!"
He comes to the bar and blatantly calls out "hiya dad!" Ravi asks him, "if you're here and your sister is also here, who is running the shop?" "Pass!" is Vikram's cheeky reply.
"Where have I gone wrong?" bemoans Ravi to a bemused Rita. She tells him he hasn't gone far wrong, he has a lovely family, even though they are not keen on standing behind the counter. Ravi agrees, reluctantly, as long as he isn't harangued by customers wanting to be served milk.
Mike pays for his drinks and, as he does so, his mobile phone rings. He is annoyed at the intrusion but he will just get rid of whoever is calling. That's OK, says Alma. "Hello, Baldwin here" "And it's Julia here" says the voice at the other end. Mike's face changes dramatically. "Hope this isn't too inconvenient" she continues. Mike makes his excuses to Alma for some privacy and moves into a quiet corner.
The camera switches to Greg's flat. Greg asks Julia what is happening, as she has her hand over the telephone mouthpiece. She tells him that it sounds as if Mike is in a pub. "Oh, we're upsetting his evening, are we? What a shame." sniggers Greg.
"What do you want?" asks Mike. "Like I said, I've been thinking. I don't think ten thousand's enough" replies Julia. "You're not getting any more money" snarls Baldwin. "I think another ten thousand should cover it" continues Julia, ignoring his protestations. "No way. No chance" replies Mike. J - "Well then, your wife's gonna receive all the copies of the photographs." "It's too late. I've already told her" bluffs Mike.
Julia mouths this piece of news to Greg, who instantly dismisses it as a bluff.
"There's got to be another ten thousand or......" continues Julia. "I've told you.... NO" replies Mike as he cuts off the call.
At the other end of the line, Julia tells Greg that Mike has just hung up on her. "Okay then" replies Greg - he pauses a second , deep in thought, then adds "let's do it........."
And with that... ... it is the cue for music and credits
Episode written by Peter Whalley
All material is, and remains, copyright property of Granada Television.
Well, how was it for me?
Lovely comedy moments provided by Jack in combination with Vera, Gary and Eunice - essentially, the everyday banter with partners and with friends. Wonderful stuff. Sadness, I suppose, because it looks like the setting of the scenes for Jack and Vera bowing out of Corrie.
Interesting seeing Leanne going off the rails in her pursuit to blot out her marriage and to catch up on lost time. I do have to say that I am slightly confused as to whether Ashley is playing the part of a jealous aspiring suitor or a boring father figure - whatever, I'm finding him a bit tiresome these days and he's in the running for a smack in the chops for the way he is carrying on. For me, Ashley has great comic potential as well as a gentle serious side, the "little old man" routine doesn't sit easily with me.
Ravi and the kids is another interesting situation. Family businesses are fraught with problems and we are seeing some of them in action, right now. Ultimately, providing employment for one's kids may be nobly intentioned, but I doubt the real value behind it. the conflicts between Nita, Vikram and Ravi are being well explored in a gentle way, although I am getting disappointed with Vikram - my considered reaction is that he comes over as a tad lightweight for the part. Nita is coming out of her shell a bit more - although she is hardly a nasty character, I suppose I have found her a bit stand-offish. Ravi continues to be a joy in every scene in which he appears.
Another individual providing great joy is Tyrone - what a delight seeing him as pleased as punch about his new job, wearing his clean uniform and telling everyone proudly that he is working. A real delight!!!!!
The major storyline, of course, is Mike's infidelity with Julia and the subsequent blackmail. I know it's the done thing to slag off Baldwin, but I think the scenario is being pretty well played out. For a guy who believes money oils all the wheels it is quite understandable that Mike should seek to pay off Julia, even though, in his heart of hearts, he must doubt whether he will get away with it. Again, much as I like the Alma character, Mike's explanation for being tempted, that of being flattered by Julia's advances, does have a realistic feeling about it. Deirdre's probing about his intentions reveals the fact that he hasn't really thought through the implications.
For anyone who has been cheated upon, this must be a difficult storyline to view from Mike's perspective. It does, however remind me of a scenario about 10 years ago in a previous business I ran. Over a period of a few months, an employee embezzled a quantity of cash from the business and it was interesting examining the sequence of events, in hindsight. She had accrued some debts (buying items from a clothes catalogue), which were proving difficult to repay. She was tempted by the occasional cash which was around in the business at the time - I am convinced she "borrowed" it, with the genuine intent of repaying it, but very soon afterwards, found herself caught in the debt spiral, "borrowing" more and more in an attempt to get out of the problem. An interesting psychological process occurs where someone does something which they know, in their heart of hearts is wrong, yet they convince themselves otherwise. I believe we have the same scenario here. The other parallel is that, as with theft, these events are rarely a one-off - somebody gets away with something once and they believe that they can repeat the feat. The guilt perspective changes over a period of time. I've never been in that situation and don't want it to look as if I am making excuses for Baldwin - he is hardly my favourite character. I can, however, understand the sequence of events which leads to his current dilemma. Life is rarely clear cut!!!
The other interesting point was the secrets you would keep from your partner, i.e. Deirdre not telling Ken about Mike's one-night stand with Julia and the subsequent blackmail. I suppose that, before this scenario, I might have said that, personally, I wouldn't have any secrets from my spouse. I would concede, however, that Deirdre was totally justified and correct in not disclosing this piece of information to Ken, because of how he would react to it. It raises quite a dilemma which I haven't explored before, because I would have viewed the issue in very black and white terms.
On that philosophical inconclusive point, a quick summary. Pretty good episode, nudging the plot on a bit, with some nice dialogue and comic moments.
Anyway that's it for now.. well, I can't stand here gabbin', I've got pies to shift. Until the next time, take care...
Tubby greetings and Tinkyluv from the Tinkster in Glorious Glossop....
Regards, Alan
Hiya :)
Well, if you've kept up then you'll know that this is the second Update I'm writing in one night (in order to catch up on the alotted schedule) [1] so I'll skip even the slightest sembelence of a prologue and jump straight into tonight's show...
[1] = Actually, this is wrong. Although that was the original plan, I fell asleep half way through and had to continue the next night! :)
The episode opens in the Baldwin flat where Alma is concerned about Mike's state of mind. He's snappy and she remarks that this doesn't surprise her what with strange sales reps knocking at the door at all hours (she is of course, referring to Julia Stone's impromptu house call on Sunday). "Sorry", he says with the sincerity of a gnat, "I'm just under a bit of pressure at the moment.. Don't worry, it'll pass.." - or so he hopes!
Over in the Kabin, Spider is asking Sharon if she stocks a particular specialist magazine and it seems that she doesn't... Either that or, like myself, she can't catch a word that he's saying. I have rewound my tape of this episode about four times so far and still, for the life of me, I can't work out what the name of the magazine he wants is. It's "Eco" something, but that's as far as I've got (Suggestions on a postcard please)!... Nonetheless, good ol' Gurn-O-Matic tells Spider that she'll try and order it for him, an effort for which our Arachnid Hero is grateful for, as he leaves with a smile on his face. Just then, Ken Barlow enters and is looking for Rita who, it seems, has gone on a "Retail Therapy Course" (ie: Shopping trip) in Manchester... The reason that Ken wants to see the Big Red, however, is that he's confused as to why there is a note in his paper asking him to pay his bill when he did this very thing only yesterday... Sharon looks for a record of this transaction in her little black book but finds nothing. "I paid Leanne yesterday" maintains Borelow, "I gave her a twenty pound note" and upon hearing this, Sharon begins gurning in dismay.
The MIGHTY Fred Elliot is purchasing a bag of groceries in the Corner Shop and is overjoyed to find his "standards of exactitude are being maintained" (translation: Quite surprised it seems that Nita gives him correct change! lol!)... Unfortunately for her, Audrey enters just as the Burly Butcher is leaving and she gets caught in conversation with him:
Fred: "Can I say again what a pleasure it was to have your sweet company yesterday? I can't wait until the opportunity presents itself so that we can do the same again." Audrey: (A bit embarrassed) "Thanks, well, I'll let you know, eh?" Fred: "Until then, I will say ADIEU!" (Waves extravagantly)
As he leaves the Shop, Audrey looks somewhat bewildered and wonders what she is going to have to do in order to fend off his manly advances (arf arf)! At this point, Curly bounces in through the door and fires up yet another amusing conversation:
Curly: (To Audrey and Nita) "Ah, Audrey! I'm glad I've caught you two together! What do you reckon to warts?"
(There is a stunned silence... Nita looks totally confused and Audrey looks a tad embarrassed.)
Audrey: (Subtly) "Well, I've never suffered with them, Curly..."
Nita: (Raising an eyebrow, in a Spock-like manner) "You want a chemist, Curly.."
Curly: "No no no! Not warts warts! WARTs in capital letters.. Weatherfield Association of Retail Traders.."
Audrey: "Ooh, that bunch of old duffers.."
Curly: "Nah, things have changed since Alf's day. They're looking now for people like me." (raises hands to mimic a rolling slogan) "IF YOU'RE IN BUSINESS - YOU'VE GOT WARTS!"
Audrey: "Well, if you're looking for new members, don't look at me. I've had my fill of grumbling old gasbags at the town hall!"
ROFL! - Totally silly exchange I know, but delivered well enough to raise a few hearty laughs. Anyway, with Audrey firmly against the idea of joining the WARTs, Curly turns his attention to Nita, who is curious about what they do (as am I!) and how it may benefit her... He asks her to meet him for a drink at lunchtime during which he will explain all and, amazingly, she agrees.
Back at the Kabin, Leanne finally arrives into work (with a happy new (shorter) haircut!) and is, once more, late. Needless to say, The Gurning Gaskell is not best pleased and she's even less overjoyed about the small matter of Ken Barlow's missing twenty quid. "Would you like to tell me what happened to it?" she asks, angrily... (Cut!)
Sir Royston Of Cropper (YAY!!!) returns to our screens and serves Jack and Vera two coffees (note to overseas viewers: When you watch this part of the scene, please watch Roy's hands!) in the Cafe. He wonders if Jack is okay after his heartattack, before remarking to Gail "It must have been a near-death experience and they do say that sometimes people see glimpses of the Other Side" who responds "If Jack *had* had a glimpse of the Other Side and it had been lying around on clouds all day, I don't think he'd've bothered to come back"... Vera thinks that Roy does have a point about Jack coming very close to his end, adding that in future he really should take it easy, starting with quitting his cellarman job at The Rovers. "Don't be soft!" yelps Jack, "I'm not letting whatever happened to me turn me into some kind of flamin' invalid!"
Meanwhile, in Mike Baldwin's Underworld of Delight, The Darklord Himself is telling a shocked Deirdre all about Julia's little visit to his flat. The D is stunned that Mike's blackmailer had so much gall as to actually show up and have tea with Alma and tells him sternly that the best plan would be to 'fess up about the whole affair: "You may have to! The more desperate this woman gets, the bigger the odds are against you!" - All of which makes perfect sense of course, but Baldwin just sighs and groans, even when D explains that "it's better she hears it from you than down the phone from that poisonous little minx!" (LOL! Great turn of phrase!)... When Mike *still* refuses to tell Alma, Deirdre is forced to paint him a picture of the reality of the situation. "Well, then" she says, in a matter-of-fact tone, "She's got you just where she wants you. Cornered.. and scared"...
Cut back to the Kabin (zzz) where the Leanne -vs- Sharon War is still raging, as the two of them search frantically for Ken Barlow's missing 20 quid. "Blah blah blah"... "Yadda yadda yadda"... A waste of two fine actresses (Jane Danson and Tracie Bennett) ensues as the two of them bitch about whether or not Leanne has stolen the money (!). Just as they reach fever point, Natalie walks in holding an "POSITION VACANT - BARMAID" card that she wishes to put in the window. Leanne, acting on impulse, tells her not to bother: "If you want a barmaid, I'll save you the bother. I can smile, I can get the top off a bottle, I'm honest and I've had it with this place!" she shouts, storming out of the door in a huff and heading, presumably (judging from the next scene she appears in), for the Rovers.
Over at Roy's Rolls, Gail catches Sir Royston in a contemplative mood as he reels off Shakespeare quotes regarding death. Needless to say, The Puzzled Platt wonders what has brought all this on and is met with a bizarre response from Roy: "As you well know, I'm not a particularly religious person but that doesn't preclude me from speculating about the possibilites of an afterlife and, as Charles Froman said 'Why fear death? For it is the most beautiful adventure in life'" (Oh my God!!! Is Roy turning into a Goth!?!) - Gail searches him for crimpers, black hair dye and battered Sisters Of Mercy records, but upon finding none of these simply says "An adventure it may be, Roy, but if you don't want your customers keeling over from starvation, I suggest you start feeding 'em!" which brings our hero back down to Earth as he furrows his brow and goes back to preparing some beans... At this point, Audrey walks in, horrified upon hearing Gail's greeting for her: "Well, I can't cook as good as what you had yesterday with Fred, but I'll try me best!" - It seems that the Burly Butcher has been out telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about he and the Councillor's lunchdate, something which displeases The Fragrant Lady greatly to say the least. She confides in Gail her true feelings about Fred, admitting that it was okay to be "game for the odd round of innocent flirting" with him while Alf was around but now Alf's dead and gone, she realises that Fred has "got himself a new set of rules", a pretty scary thought indeed considering that she certainly doesn't feel the same way.
Speak of the Devil, Fred is over at the Rovers with Ashley, proposing a toast to "the fair lady Councillor, Audrey Roberts"... His nephew is, rightly, concerned that perhaps Fred is being a little premature in "getting the hots for Audrey" considering the recent death of her husband. The Butcher of Weatherfield, however, is adamant that he doesn't "have the hots" and is "wooing the fair lady with care and discretion"!! Behind the bar, meanwhile, Leanne is pulling her first pint ever, for Spider Nugent. He's well-stoked about the quality of the pour and tells Natalie so... The Sleeveless One is "umm"ing and "ahh"ing about it, still in two minds about employing Lee, but the Bubbly Battersby puts forth a great sales pitch, ending with the priceless line "I've got booze runnin' through my veins, me!"... Natalie muses "that doesn't surprise me, with Les Battersby as yer dad" before giving in and handing her the job of barmaid on a trial basis! Leanne is ecstatic and thanks Natalie profusely whilst bouncing up and down, at which point an impatient Mike Baldwin, who has been standing around waiting for a Scotch for about two minutes, reminds the barstaff of his request...
"Get one for me too" comes a voice from behind him... It's Julia Stone!! He tells her to get lost, adding that she won't get another penny out of him (for about the third time this week - Zzzz) but she simply smiles and enquires innocently "Not even if I told you who's *REALLY* blackmailing you?"
END OF PART ONE
PART TWO
Back at Underworld, Mike is informing Deirdre of what Julia has been telling him whilst we've been suffering the commercial break. It seems he now knows that "a man who has something against him" (could be one of millions!) is pulling Julia's strings and he has arranged to meet with the suspicious Ms Stone after work to hand her some cash (an undisclosed amount) in order to find out who it is. Mike is glad to hear that there is a "puppetmaster" involved since this clears up the big question he had of WHY she was doing this to him... However, Deirdre thinks that he should know better than this and adds that they've been given no reason whatsoever to trust Julia. As always, Baldwin ignores her advice and states that the meeting will go ahead as planned.
Meanwhile, over at t'Rovers, Spider buys Nita a drink at the bar. She's happy to accept an orange juice and he purchases a bottle of lager for himself. Just then, Curly shows up and asks Spider "Ah, you gettin' 'em in mate?" adding "Glad you could make it, Nita!" - Spider sighs, gives Curly *his* bottle of lager and orders another as the two Shopkeepers adjourn to a booth, minus the Eco-Warrior. Our poor Arachnid Hero of course has no idea that they are simply talking about WARTs (Weatherfield Association of Retail Traders in case you're skipping earlier parts of this Update ;)) and his eyes turn a jealous shade of green... The camera moves away towards Jack and Vera who enter the pub and are greeted pleasantly by Fred Elliot and Natalie, both of whom are glad to see the Duckies are fit and healthy. "Ah, smell that!" proclaims Jack, "Hops and hotpot! That smell alone is enough to sustain a man!"... Vera isn't convinced and frowns even further when Jack enthusiastically tells Natalie that she can expect back to work shortly, as soon as the hosptial finishes all their tests on him.
Across the road, Rita has returned from her 'retail therapy' and is concerned to find that Sharon running the Kabin alone, especially when she hears that Leanne has left and got a new job at the Rovers (All in the space of one day - only in Weatherfield!)... Big Red is thoroughly unconvinced by Sharon's assertion that Leanne nicked Ken Barlow's paper money and, sure enough, within a matter of seconds, she's recovered the missing twenty pound note from inside the paper book ("the first place you should look"!) where it was left. "I employed Leanne because I trust her!" she lectures to a Sheepish Sharon, "Yes, she has her faults. But so do you.. and going off at half-cock is obviously one of them!"
Jack and Vera have, meanwhile, made it across the road to from the Rovers to the Cornershop, where Nita is engrossed in a W.A.R.T.s leaflet. The Duckies are *still* engaged in debate about whether or not Jack should "resume an normal life" by going back to work and Vera, in her state of worry, knocks some nearby packets of cake mix onto the floor. As her husband reaches down to pick them up, he suddenly experiences a pain in his chest and grabs himself, gasping. "What's wrong?" gasps Vera and, although Jack attempts to pass it off as mere indigestion, she forces him to take a puff on the medicated spray that the doctors gave him.
At the House Of Elliot, Rita comes over to try and sweet-talk (in vain) Leanne back into the Kabin. No matter how much Big Red assures her young assistant that she is a trusted and valued member of staff, the Boozy Battersby is not swaying. A barmaid she will be, will be, a barmaid she will be (as they say in the folk songs)! Even when Rita says "I'm sure Sharon is sorry for jumping to conclusions", all she gets in return is "Well, she should try jumping a bus next time!" - Ouch!
So we cut to Underworld, where the meeting between Mike and Julia is underway. She asks him for the money (still an undisclosed amount) and he pleads with her to reveal the name of her 'boss'... "But how do I know you won't just give me the first name that comes into your head?" he says, grabbing her arm harshly... As Julia utters the words "Greg Kelly" in response, the Bastardly Baldwin's face turns white with shock, disgust and revelation! The rest of the nation turn green with nausea as eyes glaze over in antipication of the tedium to come.
Over at T'Rovers, Spider is contemplating the bottom of a beer bottle when Curly comes over and offers him another drink:
Spider: (Refusing to look Curly in the eye) "Enjoy it, didya?"
Curly: "Eh?"
Spider: "Your drink... with Nita..."
Curly: (Oblivious to Spider's tone of voice) "Oh that, yeah... Nice girl.."
Spider: "And attractive..."
Curly: "Yeah, and bright.. Full of good ideas... Just what I'm after!"
Spider: (Bitterly) "Well, I hope you two will be very happy together..."
Curly: (Realising something is up) "Are you alright, Spider?"
Spider: (Wincing) "Look! I'd *like* to be able to tell you to keep your hands off her..." (Quietly, sadly) "...But she isn't mine. I'm not getting anywhere with her... So the best I can do is.." (Sincerely) "..wish you both the best of luck..." [Aww, what a gentleman!!]
Curly: (As the penny drops that Spider is jealous) "OH NO! When I said I was 'after her', I didn't mean I was AFTER HER! Well, er, I mean I am AFTER her but I'm only after her for WARTs!"
Spider: (Look of horror and confusion!)
Curly: "Weatherfield Association of Retail Traders!"
Spider: (Relieved) "Ahhh... oh, sorry mate..." Curly: "God, you have got it bad haven't you?"
LOL - Whoever paired off Kev Kennedy and Martin Hancock deserves a medal. The two are excellent. That above dialogue, while it may not seem hilarious in print, was really quite side-splitting thanks to the superb delivery on both parts. Definately one of the highlights of the episode!
Anyway, we soon cut to behind them, where Deirdre and Alma are sitting having a drink. The Long-Suffering Mrs Baldwin is worried about where Mike has got to and wants to go across to Underworld looking for him but Deirdre, knowing full well what he's doing, tells her to stay for just one more Gin and Tonic...
...As Mike is still engaged in conversation with Julia, trying to get to the bottom of her relationship with his brown nemesis Greg Kelly. It seems that the Evil Blandford has told his pretty young assistant (God, I'm talking like a narrator off "DangerMouse"!) that Mike put him out of business, hence why he has sworn revenge. Baldwin, of course, wants to hear all this (and more) straight from the horse's mouth, as it were, so, once more grabbing Julia firmly by the arm, he escorts her out of Underworld heading towards the car... "You're coming with me!" he says, which prompts a slew of protest from a terrified Julia who screams "No, you don't know what he's like!" (Oh yes we do!)... Luckily for her, as they step outside, Audrey (who is walking down the Street) waves to Mike and inadvertantly distracts him for enough time to give Julia a chance to break free! She's off like it's the 100 metre dash and unfit Baldwin has no chance of catching her, much to his raging frustration... As an obviously bewildered Councillor Roberts asks "What's going on?" and Julia's car whizzes off down the Street, Mike screams "WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!?" and shakes his fist skywards... Ut oh... Cue credits.
Well, since the high points of tonight's episode were all dialogue-based it should come as no surprise when we discover it was scripted by the Mighty Phil Ford. This man is an absolute gem, as proved once again by this script... However, the episode on the whole is rendered only slightly 'above average' as opposed to 'brilliant' simply because there are almost *NO* current plotlines which are pushing my buttons in the way they should do.
The Greg/Mike/Julia saga has already gone on too long and is becoming a bit on the tedious side, despite Johnny Briggs' high level of acting. Fiona Allen has proven in the last few shows that while she may be able to act well as the mean blackmailing "poisonous little minx" Julia Stone, she only comes across as simpering and unconvincing when the tables are turned on her character. As for Mr Billington, we shall have to wait and see until he gets some more screen time before the jury is out on whether or not his acting skills have improved during his absence. One can only hope!
Elsewhere, the Leanne/Sharon/Rita Wars are equally dull and predictable, even with the level of talent involved, but luckily it seems the lid has been sealed on these as of this episode... Unfortunately, this still doesn't wipe Vikram out of Leanne's life but we can surely aim for this next!
On the bright side, the developing (or not-so-developing) relationship between Fred and Audrey is quite humourous as is the one between Spider (who is rapidly becoming one of my favourites again after a brief lull) and Nita. However, one thing missing from tonight's show, that we've grown accustomed to over the last few weeks - TYRONE DOBBS! Where is this golden nugget of a lad?
Still, that's the lot from me this week and it looks like I may well be taking a break next week if I can find a quick stand-in (see posting elsewhere on RATUCS)... Hopefully I'll see you all in a fortnight! 'Til next time! :)
The Rattler
Dzien dobry - another zloty, another day. Greetings from the People's Republic of Glossop. I speak to you from the Polish enclave. We have temporarily lost contact with the Queen of Siam, but I am authorised to proceed on her behalf. Once the insurrection has been quelled, power will be restored.
Tonight's episode sponsored by Cadbury's Caramel, commences in the street. Sally is about to go to the market with Danny. Seeing her, Mike Baldwin rushes across to ask if she knows the whereabouts of Greg Kelly. She doesn't have a clue and doesn't want to know, she tells him. Mike tells her that he heard that Greg had a flat a few miles away, Swinton way, but he isn't sure. Sally hopes Mike is wrong as she doesn't want to see Greg. Mike, however, tells her that he cannot wait to find him.
At the Corner shop, Spider is buying some bread - although Nita tells him that it's yesterday's, Spider doesn't mind - he wants it to make some toast for breakfast. He is anxious to invite her out for a meal and reminds her, falteringly, how they discussed him cooking her a really good vegan meal. She remembers - after all, she is sort of semi-vegan (sic), to which Spider replies you are either vegan or not, you cannot be semi-detached about it. It's a bit early in the day for the lecture, she tells him, jokingly. He wonders whether she is free for dinner tonight? Or later in the week? Or, how about next week? Nita puts him off gently and tells him she's very busy right now. Spider laughs off the excuse (not too convincingly) and whistling nonchalantly, leaves the shop.
At the factory, Mike confers with Deirdre - he is convinced Sally is telling the truth. She is no friend of Greg's and if she knew where he was, then she would have told him. Deirdre suggests checking out Greg's flat and Mike informs her that he hung around outside for 3 hours last night without any luck. The neighbours had confirmed there was a man in the flat, they had heard him, but not seen him, doesn't know his name, typical for a flat. When Deirdre says that maybe Julia lied to him and picked an address off the top of her head, just to squeeze a final payment from him, Mike admits the thought had crossed his mind. What if she is lying about Greg behind the blackmailing, Deirdre asks? No, replies Mike, the whole thing stinks of Kelly and, after all, if Greg wasn't behind it all, she wouldn't even know he existed. He decides to go back to the flat and wait until someone is in. Deirdre tells him he should have taken Julia with him - he replies that was exactly what he was doing, only Audrey Roberts walked past and started taking a great interest in events - he could tell what was going on in her little mind "Who's that bird with Mike Baldwin?" Then Julia legged it and he couldn't very well go after her, could he, not with Audrey's beady eyes on him?
We move to the caf, where Audrey is telling Gail she is convinced something was going on between Julia Stone and Mike when she saw them outside the factory last night - people like Mike always have someone on the go.
In the caf, Spider is asking Curly for his help, but Curly is sceptical, Nita is not going to fall for it. Spider insists it's worth going for, as a favour.
Gail cannot see Mike parading a girlfriend openly in the street, but Audrey thinks that men like him get cocky and think they can get away with anything. She wonders whether she should say some thing to Alma - much to Gail's horror, as Audrey has no proof of anything untoward. She advises Audrey to keep out of things. Audrey agrees to think about it, but decides to keep a close eye on the situation.
At the market, Sally is busy at her stall, selling underwear. Danny asks whether she is hungry and if she fancies a coffee and a chicken sandwich. As he goes to get the refreshments, we see Greg across the road. He has been watching Sally, unseen by her.
We switch to the Rovers. Jack and Vera have come to see Natalie, who wants to know whether or not Jack is ready to come back to work. He plays down his health problems and says he is ready. Vera, however, is concerned, but Jack says he will be careful, he won't be that doing much anyway. "Not much danger of that, in my opinion" quips Natalie.
At that point, Leanne comes into the pub. Vera tells her that the pub is not open yet. Natalie announces that Leanne has joined their team as the new barmaid at the Rovers. Jack looks delighted and offers to show her the ropes - "not much wrong with Jack" comments Natalie.
In the Corner Shop, Curly is busy getting in the provisions. He tells Nita that he doesn't do much cooking, so it's a nice opportunity to do something special when friends come round. It's just a dinner party, he tells her. She remarks that he must be upwardly mobile and asks s whether his guest are from Freshco's. "No, no, just a few mates", he tells her. He invites Nita as if the thought had just occurred to him - Nita rumbles straightaway. Would this group include Spider, by any chance? Yes, concedes Curly. And would it have been his idea, asks Nita? No, no, well, yes, sort of, concedes Curly. She confesses that she has no romantic interest in Spider and that Curly should put him straight. However, she wants to take Curly out for lunch - to pick his brains.
At the bar, Fred is having a drink with Audrey and Ravi. She has to make a move for the salon, as they have clients lined up in a few minutes. Fred has a dinner date with Audrey tonight and confirms he will pick her up at 7:30.
After Audrey has gone, Fred explains to Ravi that they are going out to a posh new restaurant which has opened in town, Delphine. Ravi tells him he has heard of the place, it's where the jet set mingle. He asks whether Fred had trouble getting a table. Fred confesses that he hasn't booked, to which Ravi warns him that he cannot just count on going there without a booking. "Natalie?" yells Fred, to find her standing right behind him. He asks her for the phone book and belatedly goes to check the place.
Vera is hanging around the bar, watching Jack like a hawk, terrified something might happen to him. it doesn't exactly set Jack's mind at rest.
Kevin comes into the bar and orders a drink. Seeing Leanne, he asks whether she is working at the pub instead of the Kabin. Kevin remarks that Les must be pleased having a barmaid in the family. Both Leanne and Natalie say that Les is aware that he will not get any free drinks.
On ringing the restaurant, Fred finds they are booked solid. He tries a bit of name dropping, he tries the Square Dealer approach, but to no avail. Putting the phone down, he confirms to Ravi that there ARE in, but not till a week next Thursday. Ravi remarks that Audrey will not be best pleased.
When Greg returns in his car to his flat, he sees Mike lurking outside - talking to Julia on the phone, he discovers that she told Baldwin about the location. "You cow, well it's not going to do him any good. Just you wait until I catch up with you, darlin'" he threatens.
Back at the Rovers, Mike returns to find Deirdre and Alma having a drink. Unfortunately, Alma has to go back. Deirdre tells him he has had loads of calls this morning, but Mike says he will catch up with them - he resolves to return to Greg's flat later on. Deirdre warns him to be careful, Greg is nasty, he hits people, "he's half your age and he's bigger than you" adds Deirdre. Pause for thought for Mike.
At the bar, Natalie tells Fred she has heard that he has a date taking Audrey to some glamorous new restaurant - Fred confirms this but admits there is a snag, they cannot get in. Natalie depresses Fred a bit more when she tells him that Audrey will be disappointed as she has bought a new frock in anticipation of the event. Off he goes to break the news to her.
Curly is reporting back to Spider, but doesn't have the heart to break the bad news to him, so he plays down the tone of his conversation with Nita. He tells Spider that Nita told him she doesn't like dinner parties. When Spider asks Curly for his honest opinion as to whether he is in with a chance with Nita, again, Curly chickens out "of course you are, there's always a chance."
Gail and Martin come into the pub and are surprised to find Leanne behind the bar - Gail says that she thought you had to be eighteen to work behind a bar. Leanne confirms this is the case, but she isn't far off that age, anyway she needs the job and asks Gail to keep it to herself.
When Fred goes round to Audrey's, she is dolled up like a million dollars - however, he has prepared to minimise her disappointment - the good news is that they have a table booked, the bad news is that it's for a week next Thursday. He tells her he tried everything to get a table, but with no success. It is a let down for her, so they have two choices. They can either go to another restaurant in the city - Audrey says that it's not the same - or alternatively..... he presents her with some flowers. "They're beautiful" exclaims Audrey. "But not as beautiful as you" replies Fred "or as natural. They've been genetically modified, a cross between a daffodil bulb and a sheep's ear-hole"!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!! "Also, vintage champagne for vous et moi, also, two of the finest fillet steaks which I am ready, willing and able to grill, if you'll point me in the kitchen. It's your choice, Audrey." Awwwww, what a sweetie!! he will cook for them both. Audrey is understandably overcome.
The evening is wearing on and Spider is getting more and more drunk - having found Dutch courage, he tells Kevin and Curly that he intends to tell Nita how he feels about her. They persuade him that he is not at his best and that he would do better to go home and sleep on it. Spider agrees, but confirms that he is going to tell Nita. He departs in a somewhat pickled state!!
Gail is debating with Martin whether or not to let Natalie know about Leanne being under age. Martin suggests leaving well alone.
Rita tells Leanne she looks at home behind the bar and tells her that she will be missed at the Kabin - by her, at least. Leanne is pleased to hear this and thanks Rita for giving her the job in the first place, conceding that there are not many who would have done so.
Still in his glazed state, Spider has turned up at Nita's flat. He needs to talk to her urgently, he keeps telling her. She asks whether he has been drinking. He confirms this, saying that he needed to pluck up the courage. Nita tries to stop him as she feels he is going to be very embarrassed about it tomorrow. He tells her that he thinks she knows what he is going to say to her. "Ever since you moved in here, ever since I set eyes on you" he starts. He tells her he is really crazy about her and they would be good together if only she have him a chance. Nita is embarrassed by this declaration. She moves him towards the door, just as Steve arrives, holding a set of keys in his hands. Spider is devastated as he realises the implication of this and leaves.
However, it becomes apparent that the only reason Steve has the keys is because of the work he was doing in Nita's flat. When he tries to look for an excuse to hang on to the keys, Nita gives him short shrift and demands their return.
The working day has ended and Mike is back at the flat watching television. The phone rings - it's Alma telling him the car won't start. He agrees to pick her up. Just as he is about to leave the flat to pick her up, the phone rings again. Mike suddenly recognises the voice at the end of the phone. This time, it's Greg with the news that he saw Mike earlier, snooping outside his flat - he has now moved, so Mike will no longer know where he lives. He tells Mike that he has parked outside Freshco's and is thinking of having a word with Alma. He switches off the phone leaving Mike, at the other end, looking worried.
Back at Audrey's, she is telling Fred how much she misses Alf - Fred says that Alf was a grand fella and a happy one, because Audrey made him a happy man. "And it's no wonder, with you by his side" he adds. Audrey confides that Alf's only regret was not having a son of his own, to whom the shop would pass on his death. When she says that she expects Fred has similar regrets, Fred wavers and then admits to something - no-one else must know, but he DOES actually have a son, a fine lad, he's grown up, in fact - Fred fills up with obvious pride. "Aye, my son, me own flesh and blood." Awwwwww!!! (Ashley????????!!!!)
Mike has hotfooted it round to the supermarket. He confronts Greg in the car park - when Mike curses him for blackmailing him, Kelly denies any knowledge of Julia and tells Mike that he has nothing on him. Mike threatens to give Greg a good hiding but Greg just sneers at him. "I don't think so. I'd enjoy giving you the beating of your life. " Mike replies that Greg's speciality is beating up women. "That crack will cost you. You just put the price up" says Greg. Mike tells him he will not get a further penny from him, he has told Alma, she knows the lot. Greg calls Mike's bluff and threatens to hand over some photographs to Alma to remind her of what her husband does on the side. Mike caves in and agrees to pay up - Greg tells Mike that he will be in touch and speeds off. Alma has come out of Freshco's. She recognises Greg and asks Mike what Greg wanted. Mike tells her that he doesn't know, but whatever it is, he isn't going to get it.
Episode written by John Stevenson.
Regards, Alan Milewczyk
Hiya folks!!!! ... Time again for another update....
It feels like it's been a week of updates this last week - I did CP's on Tuesday (I think) from a week back, Ricey's on Wednesday, now mine and tomorrow I do Rattler's!! On top of that, I have test driven the concise Corrie Reports - still playing around a bit with the format. The idea is not to steal the thunder of the main updaters (of whom I am one anyway). It is to provide a brief and to the point (LOL with me around!! Hahahahah) summary to come out within a few hours of the episode - quick to download, easy to read. Feedback has been very positive. I am not looking to do the lot myself and would hope, as they become established that we get Report Updaters dipping in, doing updates on some sort of rota basis. At this stage they can be found on RATUCS, the Guestbook and on SPOTS, although we can organise an e-mail circulation list in due course. Let me know what you think.
I'm all updated out.....
Episode sponsored by Cadbury's Caramel
The programme starts at the Baldwin's flat - as it's such a nice day, Mike suggests that Alma has a day off. Well that's what he says but we know differently - it's just a ruse to keep Alma away from Freshco's in case Greg Kelly finds her and blows the story of Mike's infidelity with Julia. He tries all sorts of ploys, without any joy. Alma wonders whether she is in the right house - isn't he the man who would bring back hanging for absenteeism, she quips? Anyway, she is busy at work and cannot spend the time off - in any case, she has to get the car fixed. She comments about how surprised she was seeing Greg Kelly last night and wonders whether Sally ought to be warned. Mike plays the whole thing down but says that he is seeing Sally later on.
Fred has popped in to see Audrey - he is telling her about the problems he had getting back home after the evening at her place. Apparently, the minicab driver got lost - "we went round Canal Street three times, I said 'what are you trying to do, get done for kerb-crawling?'" - but with Fred's navigation he finally got home. Anyway, he has dropped in to offer Audrey a lift into work, it's on his way, he tells her. Audrey jokes about what the neighbours are likely to think, her leaving the house with a strange man at this time of the morning? If they are that nosey, they would have seen him go in, he replies, quick as a flash. You'd better move quick or they will think a darn sight more, he adds. Audrey turns down the offer, but thanks him for the sweet thought. While he remembers, Fred seeks reassurance from Audrey that she will keep his confidence regarding the matter he mentioned last night. Audrey gives him the assurance he seeks, but then starts probing for details. Things happened in the past. Anyway the lad is well provided for when Fred dies. Fred isn't giving much away, apart from saying that he and the mother went their own separate ways. Audrey is intrigued.
At the factory, Sally has popped in to pay her invoice and is handing over the cheque to Deirdre. The new line is selling very well, she tells Deirdre and Mike. How about a range of colours, red, turquoise? Mike is pre-occupied by Greg Kelly and is not in the in mood for making decisions. When Sally asks whether Mike is worried by Greg, Mike plays this down. He tells her he has better things to worry about that Greg Kelly - Sally agrees, adding that she has lived in fear of him for long enough - but Deirdre knowing Mike, sees through the faade. After Sally has gone, he explains how he saw Greg in Freshco's car park and how he was going to tell Alma. Greg had asked for more money, but Mike managed to bluff him out of it - not for long, though, as Kelly will be contacting him soon, and he doesn't have a clue what to do.
Sally has left the kids with Gail at the caf, while she pops into the factory. She is asking them if they want more toast, as Kevin comes in. He is surprised to see them there and starts throwing a wobbler at Gail. Just at that point, Sally returns and Kevin makes a start on her - she never told him she was farming the kids out for breakfast, he snaps. He could have had them. Sally explains that it is only an occasional arrangement and, anyway, it's a treat for them. When the kids agree, Kevin concedes that it probably would be tricky anyway, with him staying at Curly's. He backs down and, after Sally and the gurls have left, he also apologies to Gail.
Spider comes into the caf and sits down at Curly's table. He is looking decidedly worse for wear after getting drunk last night. He is also somewhat bruised because he made a fool of himself with Nita, only to find that she is seeing Steve McDonald. Curly explains that Spider ought to be grateful she knows what she wants and tells him how he married Raquel, who didn't even love him. At least you know where this leaves you, he tells Spider. "Oh yeah? Looking like a right dork" is Spider's disconsolate reply.
At the salon, Audrey is humming, full of the joys of spring. Seeing this, Maxine asks her whether she had a nice time with Fred, last night at Delphine's. Audrey makes out that they decided not to go, "you know these pretentious French restaurants" and tells Maxine they had a cosy night in. Fred cooked, he's quite a gourmet, Audrey tells Maxine. "And it's only a short way from the table to the sofa" quips Maxine, "and no long taxi drive for the passion to wear off." They have a laugh together and Maxine agrees that Fred was a fine cook, he used to cook for them when she and Ashley were together. Audrey takes this as an opportunity to start probing Maxine about Ashley's family. When Maxine asks why the interest, Audrey replies that they were discussing families last night. "Sounds like you had a wild evening" quips Maxine. "You'd be surprised" replies Audrey.
At the Rovers, Jack is bringing in some crates of ale from the cellar. He looks to be struggling a bit and Natalie asks whether he is alright. Jack is still playing down the extent of the problem and puts it down to him stacking crates in the cellar. After Jack has gone, Natalie asks Martin for his opinion - he tells her that the hospital would have advised Jack as to what he could and couldn't do - in any case, knowing Jack, he will be using it as an excuse to skive. "That's a point" agrees Natalie - she then goes over to Jack and asks him to bring up some extra crates from the cellar. "No problem" says Jack, but it's clear that he is struggling. When Vera comments on Jack's appearance, he tells her that she is piling on the work a bit - when Vera says he should tell Natalie what the doctor said, it is clear he cannot, for fear of losing his job. Vera resolves to cover up for Jack and help him move some crates while Natalie isn't around. They sneak off into the cellar.
At the factory, Mike takes a call - it is from Greg in his car. "I'm just listening to some nice music on the radio. I don't know which is sweeter actually, that or the sound of you sweating" he tells Mike, as he informs him of their venue - 6pm tonight at the lay-by and they will finish their unfinished business. Mike stands firm and suggests that if Greg wants the money then he has to come round to the factory. Greg reminds him who holds all the cards - 6pm sharpish or the penalty clause kicks in, he warns Mike. This, to the sound of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes' "If you don't know me right now" - how apposite.
... and the theme tune comes in, on cue for the end of part 1
After the ads, it's part 2
The second part of the programme commences back at the Rovers.
Audrey and Maxine are having a lunchtime drink and stumble on
Ashley, much to Audrey's delight. She starts probing Ashley for
details of his family life. Ashley obliges in his usual helpful
way but is puzzled why Audrey is asking him about his family.
She makes out that "other people's families are interesting."
Ashley innocuously turns the tables on Audrey and asks about HER family. She has a son in Canada, he understands. "Did he come over for Alf's funeral?" he asks.
Audrey tells him that Alf wasn't his father.
"Oh, so Gail was his step-sister then?" he asks.
"That's right" replies Audrey slightly uncomfortably.
"But Alf was Gail's dad?"
"Well, no..." concedes Audrey "her dad was someone else...."
"Oooh, so you married three men and had children by two of them?" summarises Ashley, totally oblivious to the embarrassment caused by his line of questioning.
Maxine is having difficulty keeping her face straight, as Audrey makes her excuses to cut short the discussion and leaves the group for a minute.
Then Ashley innocently says to Maxine "no wonder my Uncle Fred likes talking to Mrs Roberts, she's had an interesting life, hasn't she?"
ROTFL!! Wonderful stuff!!
After lunch, Mike is telling Deirdre about his phone conversation and that he is not prepared to meet Greg in some lay-by and run the risk of being beaten up by Greg's heavies, at least at the factory, he is on his own patch. He still doesn't know whether he will pay up. Deirdre implores him to tell the police - no matter what Mike does, she tells him, eventually Greg is bound to tell Alma about the affair. At least that way, he won't be lining Greg's pockets. Mike wonders, there must be some way of getting one over on him, but what? Deirdre reminds Mike what Greg is capable of, how he tried to kill Sally and now, frightening Julia. Mike tells Deirdre that she has to get Alma away from the place - he persuades her to meet Alma from work and take her away from here. Reluctantly, she agrees to help him, but it still doesn't solve his problem, she tells him- he might turn violent with Mike, once he discovers he has no money.
Later on, Spider seeks out Nita in the Rovers - he apologises for his behaviour the previous night. She tells him it doesn't matter, but he overdoes the apology by going on and on. Nita ends up quite exasperated. Steve comes back from the bar with a drink for Nita to hear Spider explaining that he was apologising for last night. After Spider has gone, Steve comments "that's what I like to see, a bit of humility." Nita replies sarcastically that "it's a rare commodity, these days, isn't it, Steve?" - ROTFL - but the barbed comment goes over Steve's head.
Jack comes up out of the cellar carrying a crate of ale - he practically bumps into Natalie. Close behind him is Vera - she DOES bump into Natalie. Vera recovers her composure quickly and mentions to Natalie how mucky it is down in the cellar. "It's probably not been cleaned since Annie Walker's days", she continues, "just wait till I see Jack." Natalie tells her not to be so hard on Jack, he IS a bit under the weather, after all.
It's finishing time at Underworld. Deirdre tells Mike she is off to Freshco's to head off Alma, but she still thinks it's a crazy idea, what if Alma won't go out with her. "You'll have to make her" is Mike's simplistic response. Greg is due in half an hour and Mike tells Deirdre that hew ill have to get Greg to see that he just cannot pay him. Deirdre asks what will happen if Greg turns nasty. To her relief, Mike admits that maybe he will have to call the police and he will have to bite the bullet as far as Alma is concerned. "Once she knows, then he no longer has a hold on me" says Mike. Once she has gone, however, Mike picks up the phone and calls in a favour from a friend. It's a bit of muscle!!
The scene shifts to Freshco's and Alma is on her way out, homeward bound. Surprise, surprise, who happens to bump into her, none other than Deirdre!! Deirdre wonders whether Alma fancies a drink. Alma replies that she is just off the drag her husband away from work. Deirdre tells her that she left Mike working late clearing doing a whole load of invoices - eventually she persuades Alma and suggests the new wine bar in the precinct. Alma doesn't think she is dressed well enough for that, in any case, she doesn't want to go too far, as Mike was in a funny mood this morning. She'll go to the Rovers but doesn't want to leave him too long. Deirdre sighs, but has no option other than to accept.
At the factory, the phone rings - it's Greg. He is furious that Mike hasn't kept his date. Mike sticks to his guns and tells him that if he wants the money then he will have to collect it at the factory. "You'll regret this" is Greg's parting shot. Meanwhile, at the factory, the muscle has arrived - a massive man who probably regularly blocks out daylight just by standing in the window. Mike explains the nature of the problem - someone has some photographs, Mike wants them but doesn't want to pay for them and doesn't want to be bothered by this person again, ever!! Muscle man sizes up the problem - his considered response "leave him to me" brings a smile to Mike's face, the first we have seen for days.
In the Rovers, Leanne is serving Vikram. He is chatting her up. She tells him that she will still be available, after 11pm and the good news is that she doesn't have to get up early to mark the papers.
Deirdre is having a hard time keeping Alma to stay in the pub. Alma says she must make a move, but Deirdre says that Mike had a mountain of paperwork to shift through. While Alma goes to the toilet, Ken walks in - Deirdre takes the opportunity of getting Ken to buy Alma a big drink, to delay her departure further.
Audrey continues probing Maxine regarding Ashley - Maxine notices the obsessive interest and comments on it. it's her turn to probe and she wonders whether it's some disease Ashley might have, and if he does, then she needs to know about it, because she might have caught it. After initially refusing to say anything, eventually, Audrey breaks her confidence and spills the beans - Maxine is to promise not to tell anyone, but Fred has a son. Maxine is not impressed to hear this, having expected something juicier, "is that it?" Audrey tells her that nobody knows. "Not even Ashley?" asks Maxine. "Especially not Ashley, why did you think I were quizzing him this dinnertime?" replies Audrey. "Oooh, so it's a big secret?" asks Maxine. "It's the biggest you'll ever get from me" replies Audrey as she tells her to keep quiet about the secret otherwise there will be trouble.
Over in Deirdre's corner, Alma has returned. Deirdre tries one last ditch attempt to keep Alma at the Rovers. "Where does Mike head for, when he's finished on a Friday?" she asks - "Well, here usually" is Alma's reply. "So sit down and enjoy yourself - he'll be here when he's ready" says Dee playing her ace. Alma accepts the logic of the argument and sits down.
Meanwhile, at Sally's house, it's time for bed for the girls - there is a knock at the back door. Sophie opens up. It's Greg - he says hello to her, picks her up and goes into the house. Sally hears the back door shutting and goes to investigate - she is horrified to see Greg there, holding Sophie in his arms. He tells her he has come to pay her a visit for old times' sake. He tells her he will not be long and goes to the phone, keeping Sophie close to him. when Sally asks for him to let Sophie go, he refuses, saying that she used to like a cuddle from her Uncle Greg. He rings Baldwin, "almost with you Mike, I'm just over the road, visiting an old friend. You didn't think I'd be stupid enough to just walk in there, did you? Now what about this money?" He puts down the phone leaving Mike hanging on at the other end, wondering what is going on.
And with that... .... it is the cue for music and credits
Episode written by Martin Allen
All material is, and remains, copyright property of Granada Television.
Well, how was it for me?
Hmm, OK, not that scintillating, I suppose. Spider seems to be going nowhere fast with Nita - is this the end or just a temporary setback? She has said she isn't interested, but is that forever? Who knows?
Jack's storyline is moving towards an inevitable conclusion. There is a limit to the covering up which can be provided by Vera before something gives.
The Son of Fred storyline is intriguing. Is this Ashley we are talking about here? If it is, then the lad has a shock in store. If it isn't, then who will take over Fred's business when he dies? In that case, a surprise too.
The major storyline is now edging towards the denouement - the blackmailing of Mike Baldwin. How Greg is at Sally's, what will be the outcome with him holding them hostage?
A quick summary. OK, as I said, but I wouldn't go much further than that.
Anyway that's it for now.. well, I can't stand here gabbin', I've got pies to shift. Until the next time, take care...
Tubby greetings and Tinkyluv from the Tinkster in Glorious Glossop....
Regards, Alan
Bore da and greetings from a slightly freer Wales than it was last time I did an update. Only slightly freer though. We have one of Blair's puppets in charge and our strings are still being pulled from Westminster.
Thanks to Tinky for doing last week's update for me and also to Ivor Morrish for his proposition! And I'll say no more than that. ;) I was thinking of finishing with the updates now that CP has <sob> deserted me as I'm not sure if I'll be able to do one every week, but I have decided to carry on for a while to see what happens. So, I'm still looking for someone to share Wednesdays with.
Weren't those British Soap Awards a shambles, eh? And John Prescot is POPULAR? Since when? And on what planet? I wish Chumbawumba HAD been there. Give those anarchists a cigarette!
Anyway, enough waffling and on with the update for 21st May. This episode was sponsored by Cadbury's Flake with an opening sequence that is a take on an old Flake advert from the 1980s. I was going to quote a lyric by Half Man Half Biscuit regarding that advert but I fear it might upset a few people. If you ever need to know what I'm on about then the song is called 'Dickie Davies Eyes'.
Lord Hades is surveying his Underworld when the Drear comes in. She is surprised to see him and thought he might have things to sort our at home. He says Cleopatra isn't home as someone got to her before he did and it wasn't Deirdre was it. No, of course not. He is sorry he asked but she did warn him, didn't she. He said he had made the lovely Cleo understand he was a 'victim' in all this (ha! I don't think so sunshine). He reckons he will find Cleo and they will have a good talk.
Meanwhile, over in the Witches Wardrobe, Witchie Poo is bringing Cleo a cup of tea. (Why do they always make tea? It's disgusting stuff).
AUDREY - So how long have you been up, eh?
ALMA - Long enough. How could he do it Audrey?
AUDREY - Which bit?
ALMA - Any of it.
AUDREY - You know, there are plenty who think their marriage vows aren't for them. But, I mean, only Mike could let the whole world know about it with police and roadblocks.
ALMA - It's the betrayal that gets me. No. Not one. Betrayals. One piled on top of another. The woman. The lie. Then more lies. Then in the end I have to find out from somebody else.
AUDREY - I know. Let me run you a bath and you can have a nice long soak and a few hours kip, eh?
ALMA - It's like looking in a mirror that you've used for years and then suddenly there's a crack in it. And it distorts things. You know that things are never going to look the same again. Can't be put back the way they were.
AUDREY - So. A bath?
ALMA - Oh come on, I'll do it. I can't put you out any more.
AUDREY - Oh Alma. Now don't be silly, you are not putting me out. You can stay as long as you want. I'm certainly not having you go back to that flat because you think you are putting me out.
Over at Shrewsbury Abbey, the Manic Mechanic has arrived to take the girls to school. Cadfael is not sure if they should go. They want to go. As they are sent off to get their school bags, (they presumably washed their hands earlier), he turns to her.
KEVIN - Are you alright?
SALLY - I'm ok. Look Kevin, I don't want to fight about this.
KEVIN - Who's fighting?
SALLY - You seem to think it's my fault somehow. He frightened us witless.
KEVIN - I still don't understand why no one phoned the police straight away.
SALLY - He pushed his way in, he was . you know, what he's like. How could I ring the police? Even if they did come in two minutes, two minutes is a long time.
KEVIN - Baldwin, uh? I still don't understand.
SALLY - He thinks he can control anything, even Greg Kelly.
KEVIN - Yeah, well I hope he's learnt his lesson because if anything had happened to those kids I would've killed him.
SALLY - And then come looking for me.
KEVIN - Yeah, quite possibly.
The Lurve Doctor is stood at the bar of the Rovers when Marvy and Vidal come in. He's come into the Rovers to get away from the Necrobutcher who is always on his back at work (incest? Not that's a new one for Corrie). He reckons that the Necrobutcher wants him married with kids because apparently married blokes work harder due to responsibilities. Marvy excuses herself and the Lurve Doctor asks Vidal if he and Marvy are an item. No, just friends. The Lurve Doctor looks pleased.
Catatonia's 'Make Hay Not War' is now playing on the jukebox. This has absolutely no relevance, I just thought I'd mention it.
Across the bar, Garak and Worf sit down with Quark. Oops, wrong show. Sorry, the Drear and Ken sit down with their drinks.
DEIRDRE - You know it sounds as though Alma's doing more than think.
KEN - Well, you know my view. If she has walked out it's no less than he deserves.
DEIRDRE - Oh Ken, don't be so judgmental. Mike's made a mess of things but his motives were genuine.
KEN - Yeah, same motives as always. Protect himself at all costs.
DEIRDRE - Wish I'd never mentioned his name now.
KEN - Yeah well, quite frankly, I'd be happy if it was never mentioned again.
DEIRDRE - Oh, so when you ask me how things are at work?
KEN - I've been asking you, and you said fine. Slipped your mind that your boss is being blackmailed over some sordid little affair.
DEIDRE - He asked me not to say anything.
KEN - I bet he did.
DEIRDRE - Well then.
KEN - But you and me if it's going to work, we've got to share things. I don't keep any secrets from you.
DEIRDRE - If it had been anything else I'd have told you, but you'd react badly if I told you Mike was wearing a loud tie for work.
KEN - Yeah, but it was unfair of him to put all this on your shoulders.
DEIRDRE - He has been good to me. Do you think it would please Mike if he thought he could come between us?
KEN - H