Sunday 1 August

It seems to be fashionable to mention the weather at the start of these updates, so I will merely remark that it has been absolutely scorching here today. That aside, I have had a relaxing weekend in preparation for next weekend which will be anything but! I am looking forward to seeing some of you at the Ping in London next Saturday.

Rovers: In the back room it is the morning after the night before for Leanne and Vikram. He cannot believe that she gambled away the whole two thousand pounds. Natalie enters in her dressing gown and Vikram makes himself scarce. Leanne boasts to a shockedNatalie about what she has done and says it was worth it.

Flat: Linda arrives just as Mike is about to go to play golf with Fred Elliott and two other men. He declines Linda's offer to accompany him and says if she had phoned before coming round it would have saved her the journey.

Rovers: Leanne is just off to bed to sleep it off when Jack and Vera arrive for work. Vera explains to Natalie that they have not gone to Blackpool as Jack isn't well enough after having his attack last night. Jack says he is fine to work if he doesn't do too much. Natalie is sarcastic about the state of her staff but seems fairly good humoured.

Flat: Kevin presents Alison with a bank book for a holiday fund for a romantic break for the two of them. He promises to put spare cash in there for them and has started it with fifty quid.

Shop: Vikram tells Nita about Leanne's spending all the money. Nita disapproves and Vik chides her for not being adventurous enough in her life. Deirdre insists on a bottle of red wine, despite their financial situation, but Ken doesn't object. He does wonder if Deirdre should approach Nita or Curly for a job at Freshco. Deirdre doesn't think it is very hopeful, what with still having a criminal record, until her appeal; Mike being unlikely to give her a reference, and Alma also working at Freshco.

House: Doreen is planning the wedding guest list with Maxine and Ashley. She suggests Uncle Mervyn, but Maxine is adamant that he can't be there - 'not after that business in the bus station' and no amount of persuasion from Doreen will change her mind. Ashley suggests that Gary will be his best man, but Maxine puts her foot down on that one 'I'm not having *him* on my wedding photos!' and Doreen advises Ashley to listen to Maxine.

Rovers: Jack sits on the stool while Natalie does all the bar work. Curly tells Nita he is going to Cornwall for the eclipse next week and asks her to go with him. She refuses because it would mean staying in a tent. Natalie's trip to the races is proving popular; Jack signs himself and Vera up for it. Linda and Alison arrive for a drink, Linda saying that she packed Mike off to play golf as she thought he needed to relax. Alison tells Linda about her and Kevin saving money to go on holiday, and Linda decides that they can get free drinks at the flat. As they leave the pub, Linda sees Audrey and Alma approaching and immediately comments, loudly, that the flat is old fashioned but she could make it really nice, and that she and Mike left the bed in a mess. Audrey hurries Alma past and into the pub.

Break

Rovers: Alma is stunned by the cheek of Linda, and says she wanted to slap her. Audrey would have liked to as well. Curly tells Spider that he has a tent and campsite booked for the eclipse and Spider assumes he is asking him to go too. He accepts, then Curly says he wanted someone else, not saying who, but since she has declined, why not? Spider is really pleased.

Flat: Alison looks around, wide-eyed, as Linda shows her the flat and gives her some wine. Alison is worried that Mike will return but Linda assures her he won't. Linda gives the impression she practically lives there. Alison is still hurt that Linda kept her affair a secret, but Linda says Mike made her promise not to say anything. She says that she will still remain friends with her old workmates. Alison decides to get back to Kevin, so Linda sees her out and gazes around the empty flat.

Rovers: Leanne has emerged from her bed and is behind the bar. Vik wants to sign up for the race trip, but sees that Ravi has already got there first, so he would have to mind the shop. Then he decides to put his name at the top to make it look as if he was first.

House: Spider explains about the eclipse to Toyah as they fiddle about on a portable computer. She hangs on his every word and clearly is angling for an invitation from him. Although he thinks she should go - to open herself to new experiences - he tells her that it is Curly's tent and car and so on.

Rovers: Les pretends to have inside information on the horseracing: Natalie is not fooled. Ashley discusses his best man dilemma with Fred and Audrey, and speculates on alternative choices - Nick somebody, who he hasn't spoken to since they were 14, or Boris from work ..... Fred tells Ashley that he must not back down and should have Gary if that is who he wants. After all, it is Ashley's wedding as much as Maxine's, and if he gives in on this she will walk all over him for the rest of his life. Audrey tries to crack a joke 'Tell her Fred says you've to make up your own mind,' but it seems lost on the two men. Curly and Nita are having another drink together, and he asks her again to go to Cornwall with him and Spider. Nita perks up when she finds Spider will be there, but then decides he would get the wrong idea and she won't go. Leanne takes great delight in informing Martin and Gail that all the money went on the roulette table the previous night. Les overhears and wants to know what it is all about.

Flat: Alison tells Kevin about going round with Linda to Mike's flat. She concludes that there is not enough of Linda's stuff there for her to be living there. Kevin doesn't think the relationship will last, as Mike will tire of her, but Alison says Linda knows exactly what she is doing and will be the one to decide. If it does end in tears they will be Mike's, not Linda's.

House: Mike calls to see Deirdre and is relieved to find Ken is out. He offers Deirdre her old job back, saying he doesn't want any more changes. Deirdre suggests Linda, but Mike dismisses her ability to run the office and pleads with Deirdre.

Rovers: Leanne and Les have a row about the money. He obviously feels he deserves some money since it was his idea to bribe the Platts. Leanne is unrepentant. Martin is smug and makes Gail even more grumpy about the whole thing. Nita and Curly decide to go for a pizza. They see Spider entering the pub and invite him to join them. He declines and looks disturbed by the apparent closeness of the two of them. Ashley gets a drink for Gary, and reminisces about the times they have been through together, what with Shannon and Zoe and everything else. He wondered then if he could ever be happy again, but says that he is now, with Maxine. He asks Gary to be his best man, and of course Gary accepts.

House: Mike regrets losing everything over the Julia Stone affair, blaming his own vanity. He says he no longer feels in control, but Deirdre says that is no excuse. Mike tells Deirdre that her leaving is the last straw, and promises to speak to Linda again. Deirdre doesn't want her job back as her position is now untenable, and decides to tell Mike a few home truths. She says Linda only managed to get to Mike because he was vulnerable at the time, and that she will just take from him. She asks if Mike loves Linda, and he says no, but that he is very fond of her. Deirdre just laughs and says people are fond of their pets. Deirdre asks him about Alma, and Mike wonders how much he did love Alma if he was prepared to throw away everything for an affair with Julia. Mike cannot decide if he wants Alma back, in fact he doesn't know what he wants, his choices are decreasing, and he is scared of what will happen if he now makes the wrong choice.

Credits....

Written by: David Lane

A good episode, the wedding plans are moving along, one way and another. Leanne has now spent the money so perhaps she will disappear into the background for a while and we won't have to have her and Gail yelling at one another like a couple of fishwives. Curly/Spider/Nita is shaping up into a triangle of speculation and jealousy (hang on, haven't we been here before?) Kevin seems to have thought about Alison for once, not just about the Gurrls, and there was a little humour from Audrey, from Natalie and from Spider. The main thing was Mike, revealing that sometimes you need an old friend's shoulder there for you. He looked vulnerable, talking about his feelings to Deirdre, and the scenes were well played. The SWs also seem to have remembered that Deirdre has some unfinished business and that a Court appeal is still hanging over her. Expect more on this one in the next few weeks.

That's all folks, bye bye

Helen Johns Salisbury


Monday 2 August

Hiya :)

Nice weather we've been having, as they say! Unfortunately, for that statement to be true, "they" would have to be stark raving bonkers. To give you an idea of how the weather has been recently, in merely the space of today we've had blazing sunshine, followed by about an hour of torrential rain and thunderstorms, climaxing with a sickly humidity that makes you feel like someone's locked you in a greenhouse. As I sit and type this at 8pm, it's wet and grey outside, not to mention difficult to believe it's the start of August. Grumble grumble, British Summertime eh? Who'd have it? But anyway, this isn't a weather report, it's a Corrie Update so let's get down to it, boppers...

The show opens with a few shots of Lucifer playing happily with his snowballs against a backdrop of an ice fortress. Yes Hell has indeed frozen over, for I find myself agreeing with Les Battersby!! He is sitting in the Cafe, moaning to Janice and Toyah about Leanne's blowing of £2000 in the Casino. He's disgusted that she didn't even think to share even a few quid with her family and this is a sentiment backed up strongly by Janice, who reminds us that Leanne *still* owes her £50 from a few weeks ago (and if you recall, she blew *THAT* in the Casino too - there's a lesson here, kids! Can you spell "S-I-L-L-Y T-A-R-T"?)... As the Batties fume, Toyah changes the subject subtlely and mentions that she may well be going camping next weekend (to see the eclipse of course). Which is all well and good, until she carefully asks whether she could borrow "fifty quid" or so for "pocket money"! Les (slowly he turned, inch by inch..) rises from the table and seethes "It's the start of the day, and I've already took more than I can take" before he and Janice storm out of the Cafe leaving poor Toyah looking typically distressed!

Over at the factory, Linda starts handing out everybody's work orders for the day as if she's in charge (and, oh boy, does she seem to be enjoying THIS!), something which Janice is not happy about at all. "You're late" snaps Linda, to which the Warrior Princess responds "Linda? Can I ask you something, have you been promoted?"... Uberminx explains, tres innocently, that Underworld is understaffed and she's just "showing willing" and, as she orders Janice to get back to work, Mike appears and wonders what's going on. When Jan protests about Linda acting as if she's in charge, Baldwin defends his mistress and snaps "She's telling you to get back to work and now so am I - so do it!" before retreating to his office, followed by the Uberminx. She mentions casually that it's a good thing Deirdre will be back soon, only to be informed that the D is most definately not returning... A smirk creeps across her sly face as dollar signs flash in her eyes.

Meanwhile, in the back of the Rovers, a chap has come to delivery something (drinks maybe?) and, in an attempted "comical" scene which falls flat on it's face, he flirts with Betty (even referring to her as "Kate Moss" at one point!), a mistake for which he pays for dearly as she wags her finger sternly and gives him an earful. As Natalie wonders if he could shift some mixers up from the cellar while he's here, Vera appears holding a clipboard and is quite surprised to find that her and Jack's names are written upon it, amongst the names of folk attending the Rovers Day Out At The Races. She tells Natalie that they most definately will *not* be attending the outing, due to Jack's ticker, to which the Sleeveless Queen responds "Good, I don't want him on my conscience!" ("I don't want him on a stretcher!" is Vera's response to that)

Over at the Freshco Meat Counter, Fred hands over a slightly rude shaped slab of meat to a woman proclaiming "All you need is two veg and you'll be laughing!"... Ooer! Just then, Maud Grimes wheels her way over to the counter to be greeted emphatically by her son-in-law. "Good morning fair lady!" he whoops, "Which of our tender delights may I tempt you with?" - She hasn't come here for meat but instead wishes to make an announcement to both he and Ashley. When Fred informs her hastily that he has a business to run and customers to serve ("You've not", notes Maud, wisely), she decides that now is perhaps not the best time to discuss this mystery subject and instead orders the Butchers to meet her at 7:30pm in the Rovers. Fred is at first not happy about this, to which Maud quips "You'll be too busy canoodling with Audrey Roberts as usual? You can put her down for a few moments because you'll want to hear all this" before hurriedly changing the time and place of their meeting to 8pm at Ashley's House... As she wheels away, Curly and Toyah walk past engaged in heated discussion. She is trying to persuade him to take her along with he and Spider on their camping trip to Cornwall whilst, of course, he is attempting to change her mind. "Sharing a tent? With two men? Smelly? Unwashed?" he gasps, but when she perkily squeaks "Yeah no problem!" he mumbles "Alright then, please yourself" and wanders off, leaving Toyah beaming with a smile the size of Paris.

Across at the Rovers, Nita sits down in a booth with Spider (who seems to be physically morphing into Rick James at the moment) to 'discuss' her meal last night with Curly. Spider is trying desperately to put down Curly and impress Nita at every available opportunity but he keeps failing miserably. The final nail is driven into the coffin as Nita quite innocently remarks on how ol' 40-Watts has invited her on a camping trip to Cornwall...

Loathsome, Lazy, Lewd, Lying, Lowly and indeed Ludicrous Leanne stands in the cornershop with boyfriend Vile, Vain, Vapid, Vile, Vomitous Vikram wasting time and oxygen, as Janice enters to have another rant about the £2000. The Ludricous One laughs off accusations that she doesn't care about her family and, when quizzed about the £50 that she owes the Warrior Princess, Leanne simply sneers "You'll get it, when I can afford it" - oooooh the cow! Janice proceeds to blame Vombag for corrupting Leanne (and I'm inclined to agree - she's even started sneering like he does) and, upon seeing that she's talking to two brick walls, she stomps out in a rage.

Outside, meanwhile, Deirdre is taking a stroll along the cobbles with the Manic Street Teacher, Ken Barlow, discussing a job interview that she apparently failed that very morning. "If they get past my age, they don't get past my conviction" she laments but Ken is supportive, telling her that she is a "mature and capable woman", certainly not "past it" at all. "Oh face it, Ken, we're both past it" she moans, reminding a Nation of viewers just how she earnt the nickname of "The Drear". :)

Behind these two shiny happy people are (booo hisss) Maxine and Ashley (worst couple ever?!) who seem to be engaged in 'passionate' embrace, as Gary Mallett walks by and tells them jokily to save it for the honeymoon, since he doesn't want to have to be pulling them apart at the altar... As he wanders off, cheeky smile affixed to his face, Maxine realises that Ashley has gone and asked the Window-Cleaner of Weatherfield to be his Best Man, a concept that she finds truly horrifying. So once more putting on that superbitch mode that we've seen so much of recently, she shouts and bawls at her long-suffering fiance before storming off into the Salon to have a vent at Tom and Audrey about the situation... "I don't believe it, Ashley's only gone and asked DOPEY GARY MALLETT to be his best man!" she screams, launching into a massive tirade about she won't allow him on any of the photographs, or let him make any speeches since he's "too stupid" to know about anything except "beer and babies"... As Tom tries to calm her down (very nervously, I must add), she proceeds to cry that she's "suicidal" (puh-leese) and that the whole wedding is bound to be a "total disaster, now". Just then a female who's head has been concealed underneath a warm towel throughout this venomous barrage, raises herself from the seat and reveals her identity to be none other than... yep, you guessed it... JUDY MALLETT!! As a shocked Maxine realises she's put her foot well and truly down her throat, Judeh delivers one of the best speeches I've seen on Corrie for weeks, explaining that Gareh "may be no pin-up, but at least he's a real man", adding "I feel sorry for Ashley, you know - getting wed to a shallow little airhead like you" and, even better, "At least Gary's got his brains up here where they count - not stuffed down the front of a t-shirt!" before wrapping up with the excellent parting shot - "And it won't be him ruining your wedding photographs, cos with you on 'em, it'll already be a freak show!" - Ho ho ho ho!!! She leaves Maxine looking about an inch tall and leaves me in stitches of appreciative laughter as we dive into the commercial break.

END OF PART ONE

BLAND is the only word I could use to describe this week's commercials, there's not even anything poor enough to insult let alone good enough to warrant positive mention. C'mon, ad-men of Europe, you can do better than this!

PART TWO

The action resumes with Roy serving up a couple of plates of salad to Jack and Vera, in the Cafe, much to the Duke Of Duckworth's deep disappointment. "I've never eaten beetroot in me life", he protests, "And what's this yellow muck?", just as Vera starts to explain how she's crossed their names off of the Rovers Day Out list, stating bluntly that rather than going to the horse races, they will both stay at home with their feet up, relaxing...

...as we cut to Maxine and Ashley at the House Of Elliot, discussing the events which occured prior to the break within the Salon. He is still wondering what she has against Gary and eventually she confesses that it's not the way he looks or the way he is, simply that he reminds her of the whole Zoe/Shannon business. Yawn. It *CANNOT* be just me who is sick and tired of Maxine's moping at the moment?? And even Ashley come to think of it. I can't say it enough, this entire storyline reeks of poo-poo and I hereby nominate it the Worst of 1999 so far. So moving along swiftly...

Gary and Judy sit in the Cafe discussing much the same subject. She refuses to tell him precisely what it was that Maxine called him, preferring to just label her a "snobby cow" and assure Gary that he's "far too good for the likes of her", before asking that he declines Ashley's offer and puts a lid on the whole thing. "After all, I mean more to you than Ashley does, don't I?" she asks and, without too much effort, he agrees to decline the position of Best Man.

Over in the Rovers, Leanne gets a quick telling-off from the Sleeveless One for talking to Vombag when she should be serving customers, one of whom happens to be Spider. As she serves the Eco Prince (and he *is* starting to look a bit like Prince with that silly moustache) his pint, Spider confides in Vombag that he's worried about Nita and Curly's relationship and how far it's progressed. It seems he still has the hots for her and when Vombag teases "Hmm, that would explain all them late nights at the office..." a look of terror finds it way onto the Arachnid's face. It isn't helped when a nearby Fred Elliot bellows "Aye, more couples fall in love at work than on holiday... Doctors and Nurses.. Social Workers and Probation Officers.. Teachers and, umm, other teachers.." - As Spider winces further at the prospect of Curly dating his beloved Nita, Ashley enters and demands that Fred joins him in five minutes across the road, ready for Maud's big announcement... Fred reluctantly agrees and, as Ash leaves the pub, he coincidentally bumps into Gary Mallet on the Street. Neither holds any hard feelings towards the other, both understanding that the 'disagreement' was purely between Max and Judy. In an endearingly blokey way, they agree that Gareh being best man is perhaps a mistake and, with a few pats on the back, they part company with Gary promising to buy the young Groom-to-be a pint next time he sees him.

Back inside, Jack puts his name back down on the Rovers Day Out list. Vera moans at him. Are we having fun yet?

MikeBeth and Lady MikeBeth enter the bar and she is full of enthusiasm about being able to help him out with paperwork and things that day at Underworld. "I'm a quick learner", she hints, obviously hankering after Deirdre's old position (oi, quiet at the back) but Mike changes the subject, telling her that he came here for a drink, not to discuss work. As they order their beverages (she asks for a "dry vermouth with ice!"), Vera whispers to Jack "See, she don't even know what she's drinking - he's a fool he is, and she's a hussy!" as they come out from the bar to join a nearby table full of people (Spider, Vombag, Curly, Audrey, Gary) who are all discussing Curly's love life in a frankly hilarious scene. As Audreh and Gareh insinuate that he's in love with Nita, Vee quips "Hey, if I were still working at supermarket, d'ya think you'd've fallen in love with me?" to a deeply irate 40-Watts. He protests "I'm not in love!" (10cc stylee!) as they proceed to tease him about his taking Nita with him to Cornwall. It seems Spider (who is very drunk and angry at present) has told everyone. "If you share a tent, your eyes'll be on more than the eclipse!" sing-songs Audrey and Curly proceeds to glow a bright shade of red and wails "Will you just all shut up!?" - When the conversation turns to personal insults with Spider hissing "He's twice Nita's age and he's ugly! She's got ambition, intelligence, class, all the things he lacks!", Curly decides enough is enough and barks "OK! Yeah! Yeah I am going out with her!" and when Spider gasps "Wot? You're taking her to Cornwall", the Wattster yells "YEAH! And I won't be watching no eclipse neither!!" - The table (excluding Spider) proposes a toast to the alleged lovers as Curly suddenly starts regretting this outburst.

The final scene tonight comes as a surprise (or at least it would've if those blabbermouths at the Daily Star(ved-of-news) hadn't printed the whole story already) over at The House Of Elliot, as Maud prepares for her big announcement. Fred is in a hurry to get it all over with and, by process of elimination, tries to guess what it is. His first guess is a funeral and his second is a cry of "Oh no, Maureen's not coming back from the Fatherland is she??", both of which are met with a "no". "Is it to do with my wedding?" wonders Ashley... "Ashley's not the only one getting married this summer" she smirks, "Someone else is beating him to it..........................me!"

Fred and Ashley stare open mouthed as Maud tells them that she has found a man named Sidney whom she wishes to spend the remainder of her life with... Their expressions remain unchanged and the sound of two jaws smashing on the carpet can be faintly heard. Roll credits.

Well, this episode had about a 60:40 naff/good ratio I'd say, which is significantly better than recent weeks. Judy's insults towards the monotonous Maxine were priceless since, as I've said, I'm sick of this wedding storyline. Definately this showdown was the high point of the show. The conversation towards the embarrassed Curly was a lot of fun to watch too.

Elsewhere things just plod on. Someone needs to involve Leanne and Vikram in an accident with a hedge-trimmer and I'll reserve judgement on the Maud story for now. Maud has always been one of my very favourite Corrie characters so I guess all that it rests on now is the mysterious Sidney - What will he be like? Where will this story go? Stay tuned, Batfans.

Also, I should add that in the time it's taken me to write this update the Heavens have opened again. Thunder and lightning in August, eh - it's almost as bad a pairing as Maxine and Ashley. :) 'Til Next Time! :)

*** This Monday Update was sponsored by Spahn Ranch (what I was listening to) and Stella Artois (what I was drinking...) ***


Wednesday 4 August


Friday 6 August


Sunday 8 August

Hi folks and welcome to my first Sunday update. As from this week, I shall be doing the updates on a fortnightly basis, alternating with Helen Johns, the regular updater. So without further ado, lets get down to the episode which carried on quite well from the hilarious antics of Friday'

The day at the races has arrived, and everyone has gathered in the Rovers. Jack informs Fred that Betty's Hotshot will be running, to be greeted by an emphatic "nayyyyyyyyyyy (sounding just like the horse before a race, a fact not lost on a giggling Audreh)

In the street, Curly is packing for his jaunt down to Cornwall to see the eclipse (Incidentally, Eastenders are really making the most of the eclipse this week, trying to incorporate the actual event in their show, and mentioning it in every preview. Surely after all these years, they should realise all this darkness doesn't attract the viewers ;) Curly is approached by Mike, who says he's been trying to contact the estranged Alma all weekend, only to find out that she's off to Spain on holiday (at least one Baldwin's gonna have a good time for a change). Mike goes off and Toyah comes along, asking if her and Spider can join the great bespectacled one on his astronomical adventure. No sooner does she mention the name of our lovable arachnid, before the Curlster flies into a manic rage, over the Nita incident, but eventually says he'll consider it if he apologises.

Back to our Equestrian friends (Jack..now there's a surprise, Vera, Natalie, Fred, Audreh, Les, Janice, Nita, and the Vickster of glibly), now waiting outside the bus, for an enthusiastic Ravi to return from the market, with flowers for them to wear. Audrey makes a comment about a man with style, much to the chagrin of the demon butcher, who replies "that's all very well but what a woman needs is substance! (probably the substance he uses to stuff his turkeys LOL). The camera zooms in on a rather flustered Jack, indicating something could happen to him in the near future.

We now cut to the shop, where Rita is giving Maude her condolences, over the death of her fiancé, Sidney, when Spider comes in looking for eclipse magazines...yawn...Toyah comes in and asks him to consider apologising to the Wattmeister, which leaves him with a pensive look on his face to keep us guessing for a while.

The first scene at the racecourse now, starts with Natalie, deep in thought, no doubt thinking of Des, as she goes on to confide in a supportful Vera. then follows a scene with the three stars of tonight's show, Fred, Audreh, and Ravi Dazzler, with the 2 blokes trying to outdo each other with tales of horseracing experience. Fred boasts that he had a horse ran with one of the Aga Khans, before Audreh reminds him he also said it was a bit of a nag, (she should know, eh ;) He then changes his tune and says its not the winning that counts but the taking part. Ravi dismisses that as an English sentiment, and says the success and the end of the chase is just as important, his thoughts on a creature of the 2 legged variety. Fred realising this, asks Audrey if she'd like a drink, in an attempt to entice her away from the amorous greengrocer. Great idea, she replies, content to wait with Ravi until he returns. The look on Fred's face is hilarious, as is Ravi's comment of "Ron along old boy, I will look after the lady LOL!

Back in a rather subdued Rovers, Mike takes an opportunity to offer Emily Deirdre's old job. Knowing the friendship between the two, he claims that it's just temporary until deirdre returns, to which Emily agrees. Betty, being the only barstaff present tells Mike she opted out of the trip, as you see a lot of odd people at a racecourse, Mike agrees, quipping that most of them drink in the Rovers.

We return to the racecourse, where Ravi tells Audreh, he can get them into the members enclosure. An obviously impressed Audreh, saunters off without a thought to the hapless butcher fighting his way to the bar on her behalf (not an easy task for a man of his proportions ;) Jack, after an uncharacteristic stroke of luck, even more uncharacteristically, takes Vera for a drink, leaving Natalie, on her own, before she happens to meet the Rovers new cellarman, who also happens to be a great racing enthusiast (quelle surprise ;) They exchange pleasantries, before being joined by Abattoir Costello, the corpulent tradesman not too pleased to hear of Ravi and Audrehs departure. Fred says they can't get into the members enclosure, only to be told by Natalie, that Ravi seemed to know what he was doing. "I'll bet he did replies Fred before downing Audrehs drink, claiming that his need is greater than hers (to paraphrase the great man, I'll bet it is LOL)

Now, we vizit chez Borelow, Deirdre gets a great surprise when she opens the door, to be confronted by none other than....Deirdre??? oops sorry its Blanche, la drear senior, back on one of her caring visits to show the love that only a mother can have (thank goodness). She asks Deirdre to pay the taxi man, as she doesn't have any change. Some things never do, mumbles a disgruntled Dreary.

PART TWO
We resume with a scene in Aunty Em's, where Curly comes in with Toyah who has just told him Spider is ready to apologise.The indignant eco-warrior, sporting a moustache like a French impressionist (what is it with the blokes in the street and facial hair these days?? what'll be next?? Curly à la Fu Manchu?) , claims that Curly should be the one doing the apologising. Cue a power surge up to 10,000 Watts, which sizzles out on Toyah's request, when the Curlmeister repeats his offer of invitation after apology. Spider says he has no intention of accompanying Curly to Cornwall, making reference to the Nita misunderstanding, when he says that one night in a tent with Curly would have him claiming that they'd slept together to all his friends LOLOL!!!! ("He makes his life up as he goes along, that boy) Curly storms out, soon to be followed by an angry Toyah who accuses them of being kids.

Back to the racecourse, or more specifically, the entrance to the members enclosure, where, you've guessed it, Freds trying to worm his way in. He claims there will be repercussions, by claiming to be a friend of the Clerk of the Course, but upon being asked the Clerk's name, realises another tactic is in order. "Are you dealing squarely with me?, Square dealing is what I'm after ...not with you squire replies the doorman, getting impatient of Freds antics. This heralds the arrival of someone who's probably never dealt fairly squarely or any other way with anyone in his life, yes our old friend Les Battersby, always guaranteed to liven up the proceedings.The following 3 way exchange is probably one of the funniest parts of tonights show, so I'll give it to you quote by quote.

Les: LOOK SUNSHINE!! WE DON'T LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE!!!! Fred: (frustratedly) Oh..no!!!, you stop out of it Les: (oblivious that Fred doesn't want him there) Don't you worry Fred lad, this blokes looking for a knuckle sandwich (an interesting note at this point is that the doorman would have been no younger than 60 years old, that's Les for you) Fred: (to Les) It's none of your business Les:(to doorman) That's right, it's none of your business!!! LOLOL!!!! Fred: (to Les) NOT HIM, YOU!!!!!!! Doorman: Now clear off the pair of you before I get security on you!!! Fred: You've not heard the last of this, I say you've not....I shall go right to the top (at this point Les points at Fred while looking at the doorman with an expression that says he will you know, just you wait!! LOL) Fred ...the Queen Mother if thats what it takes LOLOL!!!!!! Les: (to Fred as they're walking away) What about Audreh, eh. I hear she's went off with that randy Ravi. They always go with the bloke who spends the money, join the club Fred lad, join the club!! Fred: Get Off!!

Now I know a lot of people can't stand Les and would like nothing better than to see him leave the show, but this was just one example of how funny he can be at times, and I'd love to see a few more Les - Fred scenes in the future.

After that scene, we go back to No.1 for our drearyness fix. Poor old Drearys getting it on full cylinders from the Bat out of hell. "packing in your job cos you disapprove of the bosses love life, I've disapproved of your love life, the losers you've been with, she then goes on to tell her all suffering daughter that she'll be glad of her stay, as she knows how to make meals from the cheapest ingredients. This proceeds into a monologue of how Deirdre has fallen short of her mums expectations, "being unemployed, at your age!!, if we could see what the future holds we'd all be on medication. A big bottle of painkillers no doubt springs to mind.

We now go back to the racecourse, Les has lost all his money (surprise surprise), but Jack is £140 up and intends to bet a ton on Bettys Hotshot in the last race. Rav and Audreh return, sparkling from their day in the members enclosure to meet a furious Fred who tells them he couldn't get in. "Wouldn't let you in, my dear fellow , I'm so sorry!! says Ravi, who certainly knows how to butter up Fred the wrong way. Ravi goes off t o talk to Jack, which leaves Fred to quote song lyrics to a somewhat tipsy Audreh, "you don't go off on your escort, it isn't done, it isn't nice (LOL as if our butcher friend has ever been the fount of human niceness ;)

Back in the Rovers, Emily tells Deirdre of her new job, and Deirdre says that she has no intention of returning and that the job is the least of her worries with Blanche intending to see in the Millennium in Weatherfield (I suspect she means the year 3000 LOL). We now go to a booth with Ashleh, Maxine and Tom with Maxine trying to tell Tom that Melanie, the friend whose wedding date Maxine took, would be the perfect girl for him. Personally I didn't know there was such a thing as a perfect girl for a male hairdresser LOL, but Maxines intentions soon become clear when she explains that Melanie is to be her bridesmaid and that the best mans job is to look after the bridesmaid at weddings. This sets Ashley off with a gripe that he's sick of hearing about wedding ettiquette. Now we return to the hippodrome for the final time. Les curses after losing the money Vikram so kindly lent him, the princely sum of £2, but Jack's on a roll and Bettys Hotshot romps home, leaving him with over £800 more than he started out with. A gust of wind blows Audreh's hat off onto the grass, and Fred, seeing this as the perfect chance to wheedle his way back into her charms, goes down, and gets the hat, unfortunately not until after treading on it. Not even a US Army Helmet could withstand 300 lbs of Lancashire Butcher, so you can imagine what state Audreh's pretty pink chapeau was in after that. The bumbling oaf, oblivious to the fact that it's now ruined, holds it up to her, expecting adulation but instead gets accused of purposely ruining it through his jealousy. The grin on his face drops as quickly as British Beef prices ;)

Now, our first scene of Kenny...sorry Ken Barlow in his new workplace (I'm so glad, he changed his name back from the customer friendly Kenny that Curly expected him to have on his name tag. All you South Park fans out there know what I mean, could you imagine every week, our beloved Borelow, falling to a cruel death at the hands of Baldwin or someone, to a distraught Drear's cries of "ohmigod, they killed Kenny..you B*t@*ds!!! LOL) Anyway, back to the point, or should I say, Freshscos car park. Where the multinational firms latest trolleyboy, meets Blanche, who informs him that she's shopping for his tea, and is disappointed to find him in such a dead end job, especially considering he has a degree, "is this what Deirdres brought to you? (poor Drear never gets a break, does she? I understand that the employment situation isn't the greatest thanks to the Thatcher, Major and Blair years, but I sure can't remember the Langton, Barlow and Rashid years, must have been asleep in a parallel universe LOL) Ken says its a pity Blanche hadn't met him before she entered the store or she could have got a 10% staff discount, to which everyones favourite lil ol lady gives him a look like, boy are you gonna need that!!

Final visit to the Rovers of the night, and Cigar boy has just been joint by Eva Sykes, somewhat disgruntled that Em has been given Deirdre's position. Baldwin ever the diplomat (well this once anyway) explains that he needs her on the factory floor to keep an eye on the plebs, which seems to satisfy the little minx for now. We are now joined by our intrepid adventurers, returning in high spirits, and high spirits in them no doubt, Audreh still going on about her hat. Fred offers to stand her a new hat, until Ravi points out that that's what he did to the last one LOL. The all to familiar sounds of Les B shouting his mouth off, pervade the air, this time the hapless victim being the coach driver, who had the temerity to question the amount of his tip. This, incidentally, being the result of a whip round, initiated by Les Miserable, who no doubt siphoned off the cream, before handing the driver some paltry sum like 3 farthings and sixpence. He then enters the bar, and immediately looks for Jack, as he should be good for a drink or two, having just won £800. This alerts Vera to the fact that, Jack although having came in with her, has disappeared, and finds him sitting in the back of the Rovers, obviously in pain, and having already used his spray twice. It appears the afternoons excitement has been too much. A frantic Vera runs into the bar and phones for an ambulance.

THE END

All in all, I thought this was a pretty good episode with which to start my updates. A great deal of on location filming, interspersed with quite a few great comic scenes, The one with Fred, Les and the doorman, and Spiders remark about Curly saying thaey'd slept together being the funniest IMHO, but also a couple of serious ongoing issues, namely Jack's health problems, and the trauma of being middle aged and out of work.

Anyway folks that's it for now, but I look forward to seeing you all again here in 2 weeks time'

Eoin


Monday 9 August


Wednesday 11 August

The hospital ward is the setting of the first scene. The nurse approaches Jack, commenting that today is his big day. "You can say that again," he replies. She wonders how he is feeling. When he asks, she tells him that of course she wants the truth. He admits that he is frightened. She tells him there is nothing to be frightened of, after admitting that it s easy for her to say, then explains that Mr Hutchinson will be along in a minute to explain what will happen. "You re in good hands," she says, reassuringly. Jack tells her that he doesn t doubt her word, but admits that over the years he hasn t been very kind to his body. He wouldn t blame it if it decided to give up on him. The nurse quickly tells him that no-one has the right to give up on him, least of all himself. She reminds him that Vera will be in shortly, and she is sure he won t want her seeing him so miserable. He says she is right. He tells her that since he woke up this morning, he has been reflecting on his life and what he has done, and has come to the conclusion that he has done nothing he hasn t seen anything of the world; the only thing he has done is make himself a physical wreck. He apologises for sounding as if he is feeling sorry for himself, "but appen I am, Sarah. Looking back, you wouldn t think that one man could manage to waste so much time!". The nurse contradicts him, smiling, saying that she bets Vera will tell him that straight off. "You ve made a happy woman of her, haven t you?". Jack admits that he has sometimes, but have they had some fights over the years! She laughs, and bets that he has broken a few hearts over the years too. "Now if you d had said that some other time, that would have made my day &". Sarah asks him why not today? "I don t go flirting with all the patients you know it s against the rules!". They both smile.

Emily is bringing Toyah into the house, telling her that Geoffrey is in the living room, preparing for his expedition. Spider has the table covered with camping items. Toyah lifts up a carrier bag of food she has brought for the trip; Spider tells her that s a good idea, because the whole "show" will last for about two and a half hours. Emily is concerned that they will get a crick in their neck; Toyah says cheerfully that they could also go blind if they looked at the sun Spider says that that is why they use a pinhole projector. Toyah holds up two pieces of card, and explains to Emily about making a pinhole in one to get to see an upside-down image of the eclipse on the other. Emily hopes they have a nice time, and asks them to tell her all about it later, after she has finished work in the factory. She leaves. Toyah says she hasn t seen Spider s tent for a long time. He tells her he hasn t needed it, but it would be good to set it up on the Red Rec, to view the eclipse. At least that way, they can pretend they are in Cornwall. Toyah readily agrees, and remembers when they last used it camping in Audrey s garden to protest about the cutting down of trees on the Rec. Spider says if they hadn t done that, and Emily hadn t clambered up a tree, there would be no Red Rec to watch the eclipse from. Spider calls it his finest hour. Toyah says he was brilliant, but he reminds her that it was a team effort. He continues with "speaking of brilliant things, let s go and watch this eclipse, eh, cos there isn t going to be another one for ninety-one years!". Toyah follows him out, struggling with what looks like the majority of the equipment.

Ken is making a packed lunch. Blanche, drying dishes, says it must be a terrible thing for him to be forced to give up him pride(!). Ken sighs and tells her that, if she means him working at Freshco, he hasn t given it up just the reverse. She doesn t give up and tells him that she thinks he has gone into reverse right into a muddy hole. She reminds him that he is an educated man; how many graduates do you see pushing trolleys? He says it s probably quite a few, if they need the money, and have the character not to live off the state, or other people s sympathy. He excuses himself to go to work, just as Dierdre comes downstairs. He kisses her goodbye and storms off. Dierdre asks Blanche what was wrong with Ken; Blanche tells her he is frustrated, because the job that Dierdre has forced him into is murdering his pride. She criticises her for leaving the job at Baldwin s, but Dierdre reminds her that she could never stand Mike. Blanche says that they have only just got back together, and Dierdre goes and does this to him! Dierdre denies this, saying that Ken has done it off his own bat. Blanche asks if Ken would be pushing trolleys if she was still in work. Dierdre says she and Ken make their own decisions, and she does not appreciate her mother telling her what she should and shouldn t do. Blanche asks if Dierdre is off to the job centre; when she confirms that she is, Blanche reminds her that the job she is best qualified for is waiting for her over the road. All she has to do is apologise. Dierdre snaps that it wouldn t matter if she asked for the job back, even if she wanted to, as Emily is now doing it. "Emily?!" asks Blanche, horrified.

On the Red Rec, Spider tells Toyah that what they're about to experience has inspired awe and terror in man since the beginning of time. He apologises for not taking her to Cornwall, but she says it s probably too busy, and that she would rather be with him anyway. He tells her that he was wrong to think that Nita was his soulmate, and goes on to describe the things that real soulmates would know. He notices Toyah s dreamy expression, and apologises, saying he must sound daft. Toyah smiles and contradicts him.

Vera passes on Natalie and Judy s best wishes to Jack. She tells him that the doctor said when he is better, he will be like a twenty year old. "I told him not to go putting ideas in your head!". Jack groans and tells her not to worry; he won t want any twenty year olds. She tells him he was always a charmer, whilst mopping his brow. Jacks asks, "Well I charmed you, didn t I?" Vera agrees that he did, once or twice. She asks if he is frightened; he denies it. He says that the people at the hospital are good, and know what they are doing. "To them, it ll just be like cleaning the pipes at the Rovers". Vera warns him not to give them any problems. Jack says he won t be in any state to cause them trouble. Vera begins sobbing, blubs that she loves him, and puts her face on his chest. He reminisces that they have seen some times together; Vera agrees. The same nurse reappears and tells Jack that it s time to go off on his travels. Vera lifts her head up, and Jack advises her that it is time for her to go. The nurse jokes about not keeping the surgeon waiting, as Jack won t want to get in his bad books today. Jack clasps Vera s hand, muttering "You know what I feel for you, don t you?". Vera says she knows. Jack s bed is raised and he is wheeled away, leaving Vera in the ward, dabbing her eyes.

Back on the Red Rec, Toyah eagerly glances at her watch, advising that it won t be long now. Spider agrees, saying this will be something that they can tell their kids about. "Our kids?". Toyah picks up on it instantly. Realising the ambiguity of his statement, Spider hurriedly continues with "Yeah: My kids, your kids - if either of us ever have any kids". Changing the subject, he continues with "The eclipse that ended the twentieth century". Toyah corrects him, in that they will only see a partial eclipse, but Spider tells her the important thing is that they are a part of it; they are sharing the experience. Toyah agrees and says it feels magical. Spider goes on about various cultures around the world; the Chinese who believed that the Moon was a dragon trying to devour the Sun; native North Americans would fire blazing arrows into the sky to ward off an evil Demon, and help to relight the Sun. Toyah looks suitably impressed with Spider s knowledge, saying "Wow! You re really into this, aren t you?". He confirms he is, and, gazing at her, tells her that some cultures believe an eclipse to be the Sun and Moon making love. When Toyah says that she thinks that is really beautiful, Spider asks if she really thinks so. "Yeah it s better than some dragon taking bites out of the Sun!" Toyah remembers their first time up on the Red Rec, and how even then they thought about things in the same way. Spider reminds her that there has been a lot of water under the bridge since then; she used to be a little girl, but now she has grown up. "A silly little girl you mean", she frowns, but he tells her that she was never that and anyway, she is a young woman now. She thanks him for the compliment, and they gradually draw together, begin kissing, and fall back into the tent.

Part two begins with Les spouting his beliefs at the bar, before Emily, Fred, Linda and Mike. He says that there is too much going on on Earth, to be of concern to the average working man. Linda reminds him that there is the average working man, then there is Les Battersby. Fred guffaws, and an embarrassed Emily asks Natalie if there is any news on Jack. Natalie says that there is nothing so far, but that Vera told her he would be in the operating theatre for several hours. When Emily expresses surprise at the length of the operation, Natalie says she isn t sure what s involved, but she is sure it is a very complicated procedure. Betty says that she gets excited when she manages to thread a needle and stitch up her hem. Fred bawls that surgeons are worth every penny, and he raises a glass to them and to Jack s health. Emily frets about Vera, asking if she is on her own at this time. Natalie tells her that Judy has gone to keep her company; she imagines that she will ring when there is any news. "Mind you", says Les ominously, "what a day to go under the knife, with that eclipse thing going on an all. A bad omen is that." Everyone gives him a "what are you on about?" look. Les turns away, stammering, "Well it s what they reckon, i n tit?".

Spider opens the door of No.3 and enters, with Toyah behind. She, embarrassed, apologises for making him miss the eclipse. He says that it s ok there will be another one along in 2090. She laughs and tells him they ll probably be a bit old to get up to anything by then. He begins to apologise, but she cuts across him, saying there is no need. They begin to draw together again, just as Emily bursts in. "Hello, you Moonwatchers!". She asks how it was. Toyah, grinning in embarrassment, tells her that it was "brilliant, cosmic". Emily is pleased, and says she will make then all a cup of tea and a spot of lunch, and they can tell her all about it. She bustles past them to the kitchen, and they remain in the hall, a look of bewilderment on their faces.

"Now then Fred," challenges Les, "You ll know you re a butcher. Does a pig s heart look much like a bloke s?". Fred says he has never had cause to compare them, and asks why he wants to know. Les says they are thinking of transplanting them into humans, and he isn t sure if he likes the idea. Natalie, walking past, adds "I wouldn t worry about it Les I don t think there s much chance of rejection in your case!". Les continues, saying that medical science is a wonderful thing, but they should watch that it doesn t go too far. "Mind you, some of us have got everything to gain by it, haven t we?". He casts an eye at Fred, who asks how he makes that out. "Nice little earner for you on the side spare part surgery". Fred rolls his eyes to the ceiling. Meanwhile, Mike is knocking back a whisky, glancing at his watch and telling Linda that they should be getting back. He says that if she wants money spending on her, she has to make sure that he is earning it. He comments that perhaps he should have an affair with all the girls at the factory and see what that would do for motivation. "And you reckon that you re up to it?" sneers Linda. Mike ponders that on second thoughts, looking at some of them, no he isn t. Blanche intercepts them as they are leaving; Mike tells Linda he will see her back at the factory. Blanche begins her campaign to get Dierdre back at the factory; she goes on about how Mike and Dierdre have been friends for a long time; how grateful she is for his help last year at her trial; how hot-headed she is; how her getting all steamed up and walking out was a mistake, and if she thought apologising would get her job back, then she would. Mike tells her to forget the apology just to come back. Blanche says she will tell Dierdre, and thanks him, saying that he isn t such a bad bloke after all. He jokes with her not to spread that around, and leaves.

In Emily s, Toyah and Spider deliberate what Emily would have said if she knew what really happened on the Red Rec. Toyah asks him if he is glad at what happened; he says of course he is, but it was a bit of a shock, that s all Toyah agrees, saying she only intended to watch the eclipse. She remembers that he called her a young woman, and asks what happens next. Spider wonders what she would like to do; they both smile as she begins playing with his hair.

Dierdre stretches out on the sofa and takes a sip from her teacup, just as she hears the front door slam. She groans. "Oh," says Blanche, bringing some shopping through, "taking it easy, are we?". Dierdre snaps back that she has only just got in herself, after walking her feet off, job-hunting. Blanche says she obviously has nothing to show for it; Dierdre comments that that s what she loves about her she is so encouraging. Blanche says she has something to encourage her Mike will let her have her job back. When Dierdre expresses her surprise, she explains that they had a chat in the Rovers at lunchtime. Blanche goes on to say that Emily is only a temporary solution, and that Dierdre can go back straight away, no apology necessary. She adds that she thinks Dierdre is a "very lucky young lady". Dierdre expresses her disbelief that they just happened to bump into each other, while Blanche spouts about misjudging Mike in the past. Dierdre becomes angry and accuses her mother of going begging for her; Blanche contradicts her and says that she has her pride, "unlike some I could mention who are content to see their menfolk debasing themselves." Dierdre puts her cup down and begins speaking slowly. She says she will try hard not to get angry or shout, as she knows that Blanche was only doing what she thought was right. But she left the job for her own reasons, and those reasons still apply; as far as she is concerned, Emily has her job now, "and she is welcome to it. Alright?!" Cue a gobsmacked Blanche.

The camera pans over a bank of machinery, over to Jack, who seems to be wired up to most of them. Vera and a doctor enter. He warns her that it can be quite disconcerting in ICU, what with all the machines and their noises. He tells her that Jack is wired to some of them; Vera asks if he will be alright. The doctor advises that the operation went well, however there is still a way to go, and Jack requires lots of rest. She asks where he is; the doctor shows her but warns that Jack may begin to come around, and will be groggy and in pain. She cautiously approaches the bed. She begins whispering to him that the operation went ok and he will be alright; he stirs, calls her name and tells her that he loves her. She kisses his forehead.

Dierdre is propping up the bar, asking Ken if he had a good day at work. He details a couple of moans, but summarises by saying that he has had better and worse days. Dierdre questions whether he felt forced into taking the job; Ken twigs straight away that Blanche has been interfering. He tells Dierdre that her mother could teach Machiavelli a thing or two. Natalie then rings the "last orders" bell, to announce that Judy has rung her Jack is out of surgery and looks to be ok. She says that as Jack has been a good friend to the Rovers, she will buy a drink for everyone to toast his health; Les is the first to claim his drink from Betty, also ordering one for Janice who will be "here in a minute". Mike and Linda enter, Dierdre excuses herself to go and speak to them. Mike tells her that Blanche asked him to ignore Dierdre s tempestuous behaviour. Linda adds that the factory hasn t been the same since she left. Furious, Dierdre tells Mike to ignore what her mother said, and that she will never return to the factory. She gives Linda a parting "you bitch" glare.

Toyah is still in Emily s, waiting for Spider who is on the telephone. He rings off and tells her that Vera was ringing for Emily Jack will be ok, so the eclipse was an omen for good after all. Toyah corrects him that it was only a 90% eclipse; she continues that there must be something in fate and astrology etc., after all. It was fate that brought them together on the Red Rec; fate that Spider didn t go to Cornwall with Curly, and that Nita was never going to be his soulmate. "It s me, innit? I ve always loved you Spider, and now, after this morning, I know you love me too". She puts her arms around him; he looks slightly dazed, slightly uncomfortable and then quite pleased.


Friday 13 August


Sunday 15 August

Hello again, and may I say how pleased I am to have the opposite Sunday updates covered by Eoin. Let's hope that some other volunteers will step in to cover the other slots. Come on, folks - it would be a shame to see the daily updates fizzle out after all this time.

B&B: Vera gets Terry his breakfast - Full English with fried bread, his favourite. Terry claims not to have anyone to make it for him now, but his waistline would tend to disagree! He scornfully replies to Vera's probing about his love-life that all the women his age are divorced with a pack of kids. In answer to his questions, Vera tells Terry that the house and business are not theirs, and that the money from the pub is sitting in the building society for a rainy day. Tyrone comes in and Terry is interested to learn that Kevin and Sally are divorced. In fact, so interested he breaks into maniacal cackling (pity it is so many seconds later that it sounds forced and artificial).

Ashley's: Maxine is in a strop, and Ashley explains that he got upset wth her because she went behind his back to ask Tom to be the best man. She twists it around to be his fault for not allowing her time to explain. Ashley apologises. (A nation cries, 'Don't do it, Ash - pull out now!') Maxine seizes the advantage and gets him to agree on the Caribbean as the honeymoon destination. I can't say Ashley looks exactly thrilled at the prospect.

B&B: Terry thanks his mother for the breakfast, and asks about Sharon again. Vera explains that Rita decided to give the business to her, as she hasn't any other family. Terry declines to visit Jack with Vera, saying it would be better if she saw Jack alone first, and made sure Terry was welcome. If so, he would go later. Vera seems happy with this. Terry sets off to go to the Kabin.

Emily's: Emily has returned from church and enthusiastically tells Spider that the sermon was all about saving the planet and responsibility to other species. Emily then announces that Spider ought to consider becoming a clergyman, since his views would be appropriate. Spider just rolls his eyes when Emily says he would suit a dog-collar! There is a knock at the door and Spider answers it, just as Emily is saying he could be Bishop if he begins now. It is Toyah, of course, looking bereft. She wonders why Spider has been avoiding her since the eclipse, and he is evasive. Eventually he decides to go for a walk with her, and as they go down the street he tells her they both have other things going on in their lives. 'Well no, I haven't' responds Toyah. Spider pounces on the approaching Curly and arranges to meet at dinner time for a pint. Afterwards, Toyah is even more upset that Spider would rather see Curly than her, and shouts that he can go off with Curly but shouldn't come running back to her telling her he loves her. Terry has caught the end of this conversation as he walks down the street, and gives Spider a knowing smile.

Kabin: Sharon is just telling Rita how wonderful Danny is, when Terry walks in. Sharon doesn't recognise him at first. Rita asks after Jack and Terry nicely tells her how his Dad is doing, and that he is staying for a few days to support his Mum. He compliments Sharon and they agree to meet and catch up on the news some time. Rita is sceptical that Terry is any different now from the old days.

Flat: Mike decides that he has to go into the factory to do some quotes. Linda wants to go too, even though he says she will be bored. He blames himself for not having the staff to do the job, because he employed Emily, and others who wouldn't get another job. He thinks he should have a medal!

Rovers: Blanche gets the low-down from Maud on the death of Sidney, and says perhaps it was better he died before the wedding. Curly and Kevin are surprised to see Terry and have a drink with him. Terry eyes up Leanne, and teases Kevin about giving Sally the elbow. Kevin and Curly tease Terry in return when they find out he is working as a second-hand car salesman.

Hospital: Vera is surprised to hear that Jack may be allowed home on Wednesday, but Jack is upset to find that Terry stayed, and insists he must go before he comes home from hospital. Vera stubbornly clings to the belief that Terry has changed, even when Jack reminds her of how Terry sold their grandson.

-------- Break --------

Rovers: Ashley and Maud have a drink together, as Maxine is not going to be in since she is on the sunbed. Terry remarks to Curly that divorce doesn't seem to have cheered Kevin up at all. Curly says it has been a difficult time. As Terry is leaving Rita and Sharon come in. Terry asks Sharon out that evening, but she is seeing Danny 'That's her boyfriend' explains Rita, pointedly. They still plan to meet up soon. Rita warns Sharon off Terry. Spider buys Curly a pint, but is evasive when Curly asks about the ecplise, especially when Curly says he thought it was 'better than sex'. Maud is amused to learn that Ashley is terrified of flying, and reassures him that it is just like being on a train. Ashley is still worried about how he will cope, and Maud advises him to speak to Maxine about it before it is too late.

Ken's: Blanche tells Deirdre and Ken about Maud, and how she told Maud it was just as well he dropped dead. Deirdre is deeply sarcastic when Blanche steers the conversation round to their re-marriage, and suggests to Ken that he could drop dead a week before, should they plan to remarry. He joins in with the joke and requests time to notify Freshco. Blanch becomes huffy and says she only had their interests at heart, and they should not mock her. Dreary explains that they are happy together as they are, and Blanche agrees to say no more about it.

Factory: Linda is bored and interrupts Mike's work. She tells him that sometimes it bothers her when everyone talks about them and says she is only after Mike's money, and other times it makes her feel special to be the centre of attention. Mike isn't bothered by the gossips and says they are probably betting on how long it will last, but laughs when Linda asks how long he would bet on it lasting, and says he never bets.

Rovers: In the back room, Toyah gets an unsympathetic hearing from Leanne about her problems with Spider. Leanne thinks he got what he was after and is not interested any more. Toyah is upset to find that Leanne had been round to see Spider, and wonders whether to follow Leanne's advice of asking him straight out whether he wantsa relationship or not.

Hospital: Gary visits, and listens to Jack as he talks about Terry. Gary is sad that a father and son can't get on, but Jack is sure that Terry is only there to get his hands on some money. Jack has foiled his plans this time, though, by not dying.

B&B: Terry returns to find Vera and Tyrone happily reading magazines. Very cosy. Vera tells Terry about Jack coming home, but though Terry assumes he should leave by then, she tells him he is welcome to stay there for as long as he likes. Vera goes to make a cup of tea, and Terry reminds Tyrone that *he* is their son, not Tyrone. Tyrone gets the message and goes back to his comic.

Emily's: Spider is not too pleased when Emily opens the door and lets Toyah in. He carries on reading a book and Emily makes forced small talk. She soon decides to leave them to it and go to visit Maud.

Factory: Linda finds a travel itinerary and hotel details for Singapore and Hong Kong. Mike explains he was planning a busines trip to learn some tips about the rag trade, but isn't going now. He tells Linda to throw it away, but instead she folds it carefully and stashes it in her bag.

Emily's: Toyah demands to know from Spider what is going on. How things could change so quickly. He tries to calm her, saying he likes her - more than likes - he's very fond of her. But he is much older, and doesn't want to be seen to take advantage. Toyah tells him to ignore what Leanne and everyone else says, and think of what it is doing to Toyah's feelings. She cries and accuses him of being a coward, and Spider can only gawp open mouthed at her. Credits.

Episode written by Peter Whalley.

Apology in advance: In a fortnight's time my update will be a day late. It is Bank holiday weekend, and I'm going out, but since there's no work on Monday, I'll do the update as soon as I get up! (Barring video mishaps, of course) Bye for now,

Helen


Monday 16 August


Wednesday 18 August
Friday 20 August


Sunday 22 August


Monday 23 August


Wednesday 25 August
Friday 27 August


Sunday 29 August

The episode continues from where it left off at the end of Friday, with Fred in Kathleen's house. She seems fairly hostile, and reminds Fred that 23 years ago she had told him she never wanted to see him again. It transpires that Kathleen has been married twice in the intervening years, and both marriages have failed. She wonders why Fred has come to see her, and he reassures her that it is nothing bad. He offers her two photos of Ashley but she doesn't look at them.

B&B: Jack returns and wonders why Terry's car is outside. Vera implies that Terry has given it to them, but under questioning from Jack she is forced to admin that she paid a thousand pounds cash to Terry. Jack says that it confirms what he knew - that Terry was only after money from them.

Kathleen's House: Fred explains that Ashley is getting married, and also that he has found out about Beryl not being his real mother. At first Kathleen is frightened that Fred has brought Ashley round there to meet her, but Fred reassures her that he has not. She is adamant that Ashley must never meet her. Fred seems sad. Kathleen asks what Ashley does for a living and Fred tells her about Ashley being in his butchery business, and that he will eventually take it over.

Flat: Kevin worries that he said too much to Alison's parents, but she is pleased that he stood up to them. She never stood up to them herself, but is glad that Kevin will be there in future for her.

House: Spider and Toyah leap apart when Emily returns home. Emily seems fed up with Toyah being there, and as soon as Toyah leaves she lectures Spider sternly. In her opinion Spider is too tolerant of Toyah's pestering, and is in danger of Toyah seeing him as a substitute father.

Rovers: Maud and Rita talk about Maud's unexpected inheritance, and Maud says she might buy a new hat, as she doesn't have much use for more money at her time of life. Jim is musing over his future plans with Steve when the baccy-run bloke (Lee, I am reminded by the credits) comes in. Steve shoots over to him and they start to plan a new scam. Sharon tells Sally that she wants to take Danny away for a surprise weekend, and talks Sally into looking after Danny's stall, since Saturday is the busiest day. Alison reveals to Kevin what a child she really is - saying her parents even used to tell her what clothes to wear and she would always do as she was told. Kevin reassures her that she is not answerable to them, and doesn't even have to see them again. Sharon comes over to check with Kevin that he is definitely having the girls next Saturday, so that Sally will be free to mind her boyfriend's stall. He is bemused, but agrees that he was having the girls anyway. Steve's mate presses him for an answer, but Steve is worried about 'getting caught' and tells him to return the next day. Jim is none too happy about Steve's involvement with this man.

House: Maxine tries to do the wedding list but Ashley isn't concentrating. He tells Maxine that he wants to save a place for his real mum just in case she wants to come all the way from Australia for his wedding.

House: Fred concludes his life story with ' ... so now I'm single again' though says he would rather not be. He drops very subtle (for Fred) hints that he still likes her, but Kathleen remains aloof. She is adamant that she will not see Ashley, and makes Fred promise not to tell him anything about her. Fred does. She reminds him to take his photographs with him when he goes.

Break

Flat: it is the next morning and Kevin and Alison are having breakfast. She says that in future she *might* want to see her parents, sometimes - after all, they are her parents. They are interrupted by Sally at the door. She has come to confirm that should Kevin have a problem about next Saturday, he should say - or let her know if it isn't convenient. She doesn't say as much, but she *really* doesn't want to help Sharon have her weekend away with Danny. Kevin is more bemused that ever, but is distracted by Alison going on about her parents.

Freshco: Beryl has come to see Fred at work to find out what happened at Kathleen's. He tells her that Kathleen will not see Ashley. Beryl says Fred must make sure Ashley doesn't waste his effort tracking her down in Australia. She asks Fred how he felt about seeing Kathleen again, and he admits she is still a good looking woman.

B&B: Jack is still angry with Vera about the car, and although he can forgive Vera (since she is soft in the head as far as Terry is concerned) he can't forgive Terry for doing it.

House: Spider is concerned to find out that Emily sent Toyah away - telling her that Spider was out - when he was in. Emily did it to save Spider from having to waste his time on Toyah.

Rovers: Sharon arranges for Rita to do the papers when she goes away to Blackpool with Danny. Fred quietly tells Ashley that he should think about what a waste of money it might be, on a fruitless search for his mother. Also, it would be very upsetting for Beryl if Ashley is determined to pursue it. Ashley looks thoughtful.

House: Spider has come to see Toyah to explain Emily's behaviour. Toyah is angry and insists that they must tell Emily the truth about their relationship. Spider looks pained.

Rovers: Steve's mate, Lee, turns up and it transpires that the run is to Amsterdam, and that Steve is not to forget why he is there - and it isn't tobacco and it isn't booze. Steve agrees to do it. Ashley tells Maxine that maybe wasting lots of effort on finding his mother isn't such a good idea. Maxine immediately tells him not to give up, since some people dedicate their whole lives to finding their parents. Ashley reconsiders, and Fred can only roll his eyes in disbelief. Jim guesses that Steve is going to run drugs for Lee, and Steve tells him he doesn't want Jim's comments and gets up and leaves.

Episode written by Peter Whalley.

A nice, gentle Sunday episode. John Savident (Fred Elliot) really is a *fine* actor. He looked so tenderly at Kathleen, even as she made it clear she wasn't interested in Ashley or in him, I could have cried. Not much else to say about tonight.

Till next time, Helen Johns, Salisbury


Monday 30 August



Written by Helen Johns & Eoin Adams; The Rattler; Jane Rice; Alan Milewczyk;


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