In Kevin's and Molly's flat, Kevin and Martin have a blether, and Kevin reckons that he's got away with his not having told Molly about the money he loaned Sally. (Little does he realize that Molly knows about the loan.) Martin advises him to be open with Molly.

The Corner Shop. Curly rushes in for some 'baby wipes', but Deirdre's thoughts are elsewhere. Dev appears, and confronts poor Deirdre about her revelation of their Christmas day moment of passion to Geena. Deirdre, obviously, remembers the moment well, and attempts to explain away her blabbing to Geena, but Dev is not at all happy at Geena's having dumped him. Emily arrives to buy milk, just as Curly arrives at the till with his 'baby wipes', and Dev decides to shut up shop, even declining their cash for the goods. His two customers are ushered out and the door of the shop is locked. Dev only wants to know, from his employee, Deirdre, what is going on...

In the cafe, Roy is still depressed about his plans for a re-enactment of a Civil War battle having been scuppered by the local council. Hayley, however, remains supportive of her husband. Peter and Shelley, having breakfast, are planning a shopping trip into town, where Shelley has seen a designer jacket (just like Posh Spice wears!) which she'd love. Peter leaves...

... and Shelley asks Geena, sipping a coffee on her own, if she could cover for her in the afternoon. Geena looks miserable, and unburdens her woes about her split with Dev, but without divulging the identity of the 'other woman'.

Back at the corner shop, Dev makes it clear to Deirdre that his 'fumblings' with her were a complete mistake, which outburst doesn't do a lot for Deirdre's ego. He threatens to ruin her life, just as she's ruined his.

Ken meets Ms Johnston (the headteacher) in the corridor at school, and he's still thinking about her offer of a job as 'mentor'. Aidan, a rather troublesome pupil, passes and Ken tries out his skills of counseling on him, but Aidan is not impressed and storms off.

In the cafe, Sally apologizes to Molly for having accepted the loan from Kevin - he ought to have told Molly about the loan. Molly seems to have accepted the situation - Kevin even brought her breakfast in bed that morning!

In the Rovers, Vik arrives to tell Steve about a 'hot tip' he's had on a horse, Laughing Boy, from one of his elderly clients. Blanche doesn't think much of his horse; much better, she says, to 'put the money on some dog food'. A despondent Dev arrives, pleading with Geena for a few words, and they go into the back room.

Peter openly boasts that he has the money to buy Shelley an expensive jacket.

In the school, Ken admits to Ms Johnston that he's had some problems with Aidan, but she assures him that he's not the only one having problems with this boy. Ken then tells her that he'll accept the proffered job of mentor. He and she are pleased. (A welcome smile in this episode!)

In the back room of the Rovers, Dev tries, in vain, to win over Geena, who wants only to have nothing more to do with this cheat ever again. Why Deirdre, she asks. Who's next - Blanche? Betty? End of conversation. End of relationship.

At the bar of the Rovers, Blanche is again disparaging about Steve's choice of Laughing Boy as a horse to back. Peter tells Steve that he'll be happy to take money from him, any time. Dev storms out of the back room after his conversation with Geena. (A tear there, eh?) Shelley and Peter are now going shopping, and Peter calls for his driver, Steve.

At the garage, Kevin assures Sally (with Molly seen in the background) that she has no need to return the loan right away - their kids are important to both of them.

Peter and Shelley get in Steve's taxi, and Peter complains that the taxi is dirty...

Ken arrives in the corner shop to tell Deirdre about his new job, and Sunita offers to look after the shop while Deirdre and Ken go off to the Rovers to celebrate.

In the cafe, Roy and Hayley have just closed up when Councilor Naismith arrives, who tells Roy that, not only is the council allowing his planned re-enactment, but the council will back it with some funding, all due to the personal intervention of Mrs Cropper.

Back at the Rovers, Ken is waxing eloquent about his new job to Deirdre, who seems a bit distracted by the arrival of Dev, whom Betty serves reluctantly, offering her personal advice to him that 'drink will not ease a guilty conscience'. Steve tells Vik that he'd love to wipe the smirk off Peter's face with a big win on the horses...

In the flat, Molly asks Martin if he thinks that Kevin and Sally are still 'an item' but Martin thinks not.

In the Rovers, Curly hears about Roy's and Hayley's good news about the re-enactment, thanks to councilor Naismith. Shelley appears, wearing her very expensive designer jacket. However, some chewing gum is attached to the garment, and Steve is accused of causing this, which he denies and refuses to pay for the cleaning. Blanche offers her opinion that, in Singapore, people are arrested for chewing gum.

Back in the Corner Shop, Dev lets Sunita off early - he wants to talk to Deirdre. He explains to her that he was mad to jeopardize his relationship with Geena for a one-night fling with her. Deirdre counters with the 'friends' routine, which Dev scoffs at. He's furious and fires her. Deirdre collects her coat and exits the shop, in tears...

Iain McDougall

The Street - outside Streetcars Steve arrives in his cab, he's arrived back from picking up a hoax fare and isn't impressed. Shelley collars him about the gum on her jacket. Steve denies it could have come from the cab and says customers are always trying it on. Shelley berates his poor customer service and Steve points out that she's actually only used his cabs twice and he's sick of people trying to get something for nothing.

Ken's house Over breakfast Ken mentions that Deirdre will be late but she tells him Dev has given her the day off. Ken suggests a day out in the country, just the 2 of them. She agrees.

The Corner Shop Sunita asks Dev where Deirdre is and Dev tells her she's left. Resigned? asks Sunita. In a manner of speaking says Dev then says that she wanted to leave and he didn't stop her. Sensing more to the situation Sunita presses Dev for more info and Dev jut says the only thing going on is that he and Geena have split up for good to which Sunita replies that Dev sacked must have sacked Deirdre because he was in a bad mood. Dev loses his rag and tells her to mind her own business and get on with her job before storming out of the shop.

Roy's Rolls Betty's at the counter and wants a cup of tea and a sticky bun. Roy asks her if he can pick her brains about 17th century cuisine. Has Betty got any recipes from the civil war? Betty's old but not that old! Steve and Karen are having their breakfast too. Their planning a night out but Karen complains that she hasn't a top to go with her smart leather pants that she's never worn. She's seen a lovely top in town and wants it (maybe Mekon [Baby] Spice has one just like it?). Steve wants to know why she's asking him after all she has her own money. Karen says she's broke and will he give her the £95 for this top? It's a bargain as it was reduced from £120. Steve refuses, business isn't really that good yet although it's picking up slowly.

The Pathetic Peacocks The Strumpet and the Idiot have their new best friends round again to coo over their brat. Emma says how beautiful he is (must take after his absent father then) and Max says she thinks so but you should have seen some of the horrors in the hospital, they'd make your eyes water. Fred appears from the kitchen to ask what everyone's preference is. Tea or coffee? After a pointless 2 minutes he decides to make a pot of tea for 5 - hurrah! Curly and Emma say how lucky they all are to have such perfect babies especially when you consider all the things that could go wrong. Poignantly Ashley agrees.

The Bookies Steve asks Blanche if she wants to cast her expert eyes over his selection. She says it's a donkey, she could give it a 10 yard start she'd still beat it down the sands at Blackpool. She thinks Steve's throwing his money away. Steve's umming and ahhing, he needs more time to think about placing the bet

Rovers Return - Bar Roy's found an authentic 17th century recipe for a peasant stew and is asking Betty's opinion. As Betty has never made anything in her life except hotpot she's struggling over some of the ingredients. What's a cow's shin she wants to know? Er...at a guess I'd say it's the shin of a cow Betty... Shelley's serving Karen with bad grace. Karen wants to know what's wrong with Shelley and Shelley asks her if she ever speaks to her husband. Karen's confused, she has no idea what Shelley's problem is. Shelley explains about the chewing gum and Steve's refusal to pay for the cleaning. Maybe Karen could have a word with him? Karen refuses, after all she never interferes in her husbands business affairs.

The Bookies Steve's ready to place his bet - 50p each way on Laughing Boy. Peter laughs at Steve's old woman's bet (no offence Blanche, none taken Peter). Steve then ups it to £10 on the nose which gets another sarky remark from Peter. Steve keeps upping his bet every time Blanche and especially Peter make a comment on the amount until Steve ends up betting £100 to win. Peter thinks Steve can't afford to bet and Steve just wants to prove him wrong. It must be some kind of male bonding ritual as I don't really understand the point of it all.

Ads - Coffee please, milk no sugar

Rovers Return Steve and Karen are having a drink. Steve starts to confess about something stupid he's done. Karen asks if it's the chewing gum but Steve admits that Peter was egging him on in the bookies and he's put £100 on a horse. It wasn't his fault (!) Karen's livid, after all her top would only have cost £95. She demands he goes to Peter and say it was a mistake and get his money back. Steve's male pride won't let him.

Roy's Rolls Roy's following his recipe and is making a huge pot of peasant stew (Maybe Fred has a special on peasants this week. Boom boom). He's going to sell it in the cafe and it'll help raise awareness of the re-enactment. Hayley's happy that Roy's happy over it all and offers to make the costumes. As a thank you Roy offers her a taste of peasant stew but Hayley declines, it needs another 4 hours cooking time really so she'd er...rather wait till then...ahem.

The Bookies Karen enters and asks Peter if he'll return Steve's bet. He refuses. Karen's angry, all this over the chewing gum. Peter agrees and says if she pays for the dry cleaning he'll return the bet. Karen storms out.

The Pathetic Peacocks Dumb and Dumber are tidying up as everyone else has gone. Max asks how Fred is. Ash says he refuses to talk about Eve but at least he likes being a Granddad. Max mentions that they don't have much time to register the birth and Ash says no worries he'll do it. Doesn't he want to talk about it? No, he says. If Max fills the forms in then he'll take them down and register. I don't think it quite works like that Ash but hey, you'll believe anything won't you? They have a kiss and Max thanks him for just being him (she means a gullible fool).

The Street Steve's listening to the start of the race on his car radio. He calls Karen over and they both start listening

The Bookies Shelley comes in to see Peter but he and Blanche shhh her as the race starts.

The Street Karen asks the name of the horse - it's laughing boy

The Bookies Shelley asks who they want to win. Peter says anyone except Laughing Boy. Blanche has a pound on Chunky Monkey.

The Street Laughing boy is in 6th

The Bookies C'mon Chunky Monkey

The Street C'mon Laughing Boy.

The Bookies Chunky Monkey is in first.

The Street Karen and Steve are bouncing up and down in their seats shouting at the top of their voices egging on Laughing Boy. He moves in to 3rd place

The Bookies Chunky Monkey falls at the last. Poor Blanche.

The Street Laughing Boy wins it at the post. Karen and Steve are ecstatic

The Bookies Shelley asks how much Steve's won, £500 says a gutted Peter.

The Street Karen and Steve are dancing around in the Street. Steve says he'll pick up the £600 (£500 winnings and £100 stake so I'm told) on Monday when the bookies will be heaving just to upset Peter.

Roy's Rolls Fred, Emma and Curly have been roped in to taste the Stew. It's chewy says Curly- that's the cuts of meat says Roy. It's cloggy - that's the high fat content says Roy, lots of calories. It's disgusting says Fred. He's never tasted owt so vile in his entire life. Fred tells him he's going about it all wrong. They start arguing over the re-enactment. Fred thinks it's an insult that for the jubilee Roy is promoting a battle where the Royalists lost. Roy says he just wants authenticity. Fred thinks it'll be a disaster. What does Hayley think? She thinks the stew is very nice!

Rovers Return - Bar Archie's telling Audrey about a stunning coffin. She's lapping up the attention, playing with her hair and laughing in all the right places. Blanche and Deirdre are sitting watching them. Blanche is not impressed, Archie's meant to be getting the drinks in. Peter's drowning his sorrows. He's annoyed about Steve's win. There's no justice. Deirdre gets up and asks Archie where the drinks are, her mother is thirsty. Audrey still flirting and simpering thinks Archie is quite a charmer. Deirdre approaches Geena and asks if she can have a word. They go in the back - Audrey is still with Archie at the bar. Deirdre tries to explain what happened over Xmas but Geena's not interested in her excuses. Has she never made a mistake? asks Deirdre. Yes, says Geena, getting engaged to Dev. Anyway why id Deirdre sticking up for Dev? Deirdre thinks it's a shame that they've split up over something so meaningless. Geena asks if Deirdre would want to stay with someone who could sleep with one of his employees and it be meaningless? Archie asking Blanche is there's something wrong. Has he upset her? How could he have considering the amount of time he's spent chatting to Audrey Roberts since they got there. Archie makes out that he feels sorry for poor Audrey as it's been hard for her since Alf died and he sees bringing a little charm into peoples lives is like charity work. Blanche is appeased and smiles fondly at him. All is forgiven. Ken comes in and offers to buy Dev a drink. He thanks Dev for giving Deirdre the day off, they went to Chester. Steve and Karen enter. They smugly order brandies from Shelley. Ken asks where Deirdre was. She was out the back comforting Geena, she and Dev have split up. That explains why Dev seemed so far away then says Ken. He doesn't want to stay late as he has a lot to do for school (dozy beggar, it's a bank holiday tomorrow). Deirdre's in no mood to stay either and is relieved to go.

The Pathetic Peacocks Jezebel is on the phone to her mother. Dopey has fallen asleep on the sofa cuddling a sleeping Josh. Max tells her mum Ash is going to be a great Dad. *Puke puke*

Rovers Return - Bar Peter's knocking them back. Steve comes over and asks Shelley for 2 more brandies, in front of Peter. He pulls out a tenner "Make 'em doubles". Fred is boring Audrey about being a Granddad. He says there's nowt like family. Audrey agrees. Fred adds "There's friends and there's special friends". Audrey tells him that if he ever needs to talk ...*Run away Fred, run like the wind* Dev approaches Geena at the bar. He wants to talk to her she tells him to go away. Fred asks if there's a problem. No, says Dev. Peter tells Steve to watch it, everyone's luck runs out. Steve says he'll be in tomorrow and wants his winnings in £20's. Peter tells him he can whistle for his winnings until he's paid for Shelley's coat to be cleaned. Steve refuses but Peter points out that it's his shop and he can do what he likes, just like Steve thinks he can with his taxi. Steve doesn't pay, well neither will Peter.

Roll credits.

Peter is on his way to work early, followed closely by Shelley snapping at his heels; she'd like Peter to pay Steve his money, and he might get his customers back. As it is, Peter's only clients are Jack and Blanche, but Peter insists that he's going to teach Steve a lesson.

Jack sits in the cafe, reading his racing paper and waiting for his breakfast. Vera wants to know why he doesn't make his own breakfast, instead of bothering her, but Jack assures her that she is his inspiration. Vera lowers her voice (for a change) and informs her hubby that they're spending too much of their savings. Jack counters by telling her about the 10 pound bet he has in mind.

Audrey arrives in the back room of the Rovers to find Fred very despondent. He divulges to her Eve's plan to wrest the Rovers from him (but will the wrest be history?).

Ken is finding out that schooldays are not the happiest of your life - he's finding his new job a bit tough, he admits to Ms Johnson, just as Aidan arrives for class and is cheeky to Ms Johnson. Aidan takes his place in class and removes a plaster from his right eye, revealing an eye-brow ring, much to Ken's annoyance.

Deirdre arrives again for work in the corner shop, and Sunita is delighted but wants to know what happened. Deirdre offers the not-very-original line about 'offer he couldn't refuse', and she and Dev are going to be sensible.

Audrey and Gail are discussing Gail's wedding plans in the Kabin (as one does), and Audrey lets Gail know that her investments are beginning to look better. Mike arrives, and soon learns from Audrey of Eve's plans to claim the Rovers. Mike: "We'll see about that!"

Steve calls in at the betting shop, where Peter is standing around with nothing to do, his only client being Blanche. After a few 'unpleasantries', Steve leaves.

Ken is extolling the economic philosophy of Dickens' Mr Micawber to his English class, but Aidan disrupts the class by a few ill-chosen remarks and mayhem ensues. Ms Johnson bursts in and peace is restored. The bell goes and the class leaves, but Aidan helps Ken retrieve some papers which have fallen to the floor. Ken asks Aidan what he's done to make things so bad between them, and Aidan tells the hapless Ken that he's going to make things so uncomfortable that he'll never want to return - and Aidan will enjoy every moment! Ken looks older by the minute...

Mike arrives at the Rovers to see Fred about his parlous situation. Mike phones his solicitor, Jo Doyle, for advice. Eve has a good case - but let's not forget the bigamy.

Aidan taunts Ken about his wee car. Aidan wants nothing from education - he only wants a fast car and plenty of money and, after Ken walks off, he gives Ken's car a hefty kick.

In the Rovers, Jack tells Steve about his proposed bet, and Steve offers to drive Jack to another betting shop, for free. Jack accepts. Karen does what she's very good at - livid. In the back room, Mike tells Fred to invite Eve for a chat.

At the bar, Shelley and Karen fall out over the incident of the unpaid bet and the damaged jacket, Karen storming off to have lunch at home. (Steve - cocky? Stand by yer man!)

In the cafe, Gail has found a nice place for her wedding, but she wants Richard to see it first before she books it. Audrey thanks Richard for her investment report, which is overheard by Vera... ... who asks Roy for his financial advice. Best see an expert, Roy thinks.

Karen, in the flat, eventually finds the elusive betting slip under the sofa.

In the Rovers, Vera tells Jack of her idea - they should ask Richard for advice about their money. Eve arrives, very happy, and Fred invites her into the back room, where she's surprised to meet Mike, who refuses to leave. Fred informs her that she's not getting the Rovers.

Karen finds Steve and produces the betting slip. Steve is pleased, but has no intention of rushing to Peter's to collect his winnings; he wants Peter to sweat a bit more. Karen is not pleased - and storms off to work.

In the back room of the Rovers, Eve is presented with Fred's decision - if she takes him to court, he'll have no alternative but to mention the fact of her bigamy. Mike adds that the court will be swayed by her collusion with her real husband to gain the Rovers. Fred didn't want things to come to this, and Eve departs, poorer but wiser.

Ken gets to his car, in the school car park, to find that all four tires are flat. Aidan and some of his pals look on with amusement.

Eve, in the lobby of the Rovers, tries to come to terms with what has just transpired in the back room. She takes off her ring, but decides to keep it instead of giving (or throwing) it back to Fred. She leaves the pub, chastened, and unable to speak to Shelley. As she leaves, watched by Fred and Mike, Mike tells him that he's better off without her and that she only wanted him for his money. Fred would like to believe it wasn't like that...

Eve remains outside the Rovers for a few moments, glancing up at her name above the pub door, and then strides down the street to whatever is her future...

Iain McDougall

The Street
Peter's still getting very few customers thanks to the boycotting of the bookies so Shelley asks Peter why he's going in early as he'll have no-one to serve (although Jack has been popping in regularly). They argue about the bet Steve placed, Peter is adamant he'll not acknowledge the bet without Steve producing the betting slip. Shelley points out the trouble Peter could be in if Steve decides to take the matter further as Peter knows that Steve has a legitimate claim. Peter says Steve started it all by not getting her jacket cleaned and he deserves what he gets. Shelley points out that a jacket can be replaced but getting customer loyalty back is a different matter altogether. She storms off angrily.

Roy's Rolls
Vera (another one who's never happy unless she's moaning and/or getting her own way) gives Jack his breakfast and is angry to see him in the caff. She can't seem to get a moments peace from him but Jack says he wants to be with her. He's reading the Racing Post and says Vera is his inspiration and to prove it he's going to place a £10 bet on a horse called "Have A Go" this goes over Vera's head till Jack points out that's what she's always doing. Vera's annoyed (moan moan moan) that Jack is spending money gambling (er how did you get the money in the first place Vera?). She's worried (more moaning) they're spending too much and won't have enough to live on.

Rovers Return - Back Room
Fred's having a cuppa and reading the paper when the Black Widow arrives. Audrey says she's popped round to see how Fred is (popped round for a bloody good nose more like). He says he's fine but Audrey doesn't believe him. He tells her that Eve's demanding The Rovers off him and according to his solicitor he hasn't a leg to stand on and she'll win.

Grange Hill
The. Headmistress. Is. Asking. Ken. How. His. Mentoring. Is. Going. Ken thinks it's going ok but is surprised how deep some of the problems of the students are. Aiden arrives with a plaster over his eyebrow and enters the class. The. Headmistress. Thinks. He's. Cheeky. and Ken agrees. As he looks in to the classroom he catches Aiden's eye. Aiden then removes the plaster from his eyebrow revealing he's had his eyebrow pierced (very last century that Aiden). Ken sighs and looks heavenward.

The Corner Shop
Dreary walks in and Sunita gives her a big hug as she's pleased to see her. Sunita wants to know what happened to make her come back. She says Dev asked her to come back and she agreed, that's it.

The Kabin
Rita and Gail are talking about Gail's up and coming wedding. It will be a civil ceremony as they've both done a church before. Audrey voices her snobby opinion that it had better not be the registry office and down The Rovers. Gail says she wants it to be more memorable and Rita recommends the bottom of Weatherfield swimming baths. They supply the wetsuits and it would certainly be memorable. Gail and Rita laugh but Audrey tells her not to bother thinking about it as it's a daft idea. Mike enters and mentions he's glad he's not the only one with daft ideas. To one side Gail asks Audrey if she's really not happy she's marrying Richard and does she still not trust him. Looking around to make sure both Mike and Rita can hear her, Audrey says that she's had a statement and the investments Richard made for her are doing VERY well, much better than expected in fact. Rita says it's good news and goes to the Post Office counter with Gail. With both of them out of earshot Audrey turns to Mike and says it's good news for her but poor old Fred has just had some bad news and proceeds to tell Mike about Eve being able to take the pub. Mike's annoyed for Fred and although Fred got the advice of a solicitor Mike's says he'll have to see what he can do.

The Bookies
Blanche is writing out her betting slips - she's the only customer in there. Steve enters and comments to Peter sarcastically that "business is booming" Off the top of his head Peter says it's because there's only greyhounds on the screens and people aren't really interested in dogs. Steve, looking at Blanche, says it's a good job he can rely on his relatives then and walks out.

Grange Hill
Ken's class are doing David Copperfield. To be precise Mr Macawber's rhetoric on economics. None of the kids are interested and don't know what he's on about but Aiden explains it's all about living within your means. He then adds that it may have been true when Ken was their age but in this day and age the economy would collapse without credit. Ken is impressed (whether he agrees with Aiden or not) and gets him to expand a little. Aiden says that anyone can get credit as everyone offers it apart from Candice who always asks for cash up front before she'll perform favours for the boys". Candice is horrified at these remarks especially as the whole class is laughing and hits Aiden on the head with a folder. Ken tries to keep order but the loudness of class attracts the attention of the passing headmistress. Ken tells her they're doing role-playing, sort of anger management and she's nothing to worry about. The bell goes and the class start leaving. One of the kids knocks some papers from Ken's hand and Aiden stops to help pick them up. Ken takes the opportunity to tell Aiden that his actions confuse him - one minute he's producing a valuable contribution and the next he's causing mayhem. Why? Aiden tells him that it's up to Ken to find out. Ken says he gets the impression Aiden doesn't like him and Aiden tells him not to flatter himself, he doesn't even think about him. Ken scoffs at the idea and Aiden admits that no, he doesn't like him. It not who he is it's what he is, he wants to make things so uncomfortable for Ken that he doesn't want to come back to the school anymore and he'll really enjoy doing that. Aiden leaves and Ken looks visibly shaken by what he's heard.

The Rovers - Bar
Fred's chatting to an extra at the bar when Mike comes in and asks for a word. They both go into the back. Mike says he knows about Eve and the pub and he thinks he can help. Fred tells Mike what his solicitor has told him about Eve having every right. Mike asks if Fred told the solicitor about the bigamy, but Fred is horrified. Of course he hasn't, his solicitor is a business man and doesn't need to know about things like that. Mike says Fred has to start fighting back, after all does Fred actually want Eve to have the pub? He doesn't but he was told that if Eve wanted to go to court she would almost definitely win her case. Mike takes his phone out his pocket and rings his solicitors, Fred is aghast but Mike says he'll not use any names and will pretend it's just a hypothetical case he's enquiring about.

Grange Hill - Carpark
Ken's putting some stuff in his car when Aiden appears. He comments on it not being a Lamborghini and Ken reminds him that he's a teacher not a footballer. Aiden says he disputes that Ken's a teacher, he's an instructor, just another cog in the machine grinding the spirit out of all the kids. Ken thinks he's more than that but Aiden backs his claim up with the fact that what is the use of what Ken does when all the kids are thrown on the job market where the choices are the dole or some meaningless repetitive drudgery. Ken says that if you get a job and want to get on then you can. Maybe in his day, says Aiden but that's not the case now. All he wants is a fast car and lots of money but Ken doesn't believe him. Aiden says he doesn't care what Ken thinks but Ken says that he thinks Aiden does. Angry, Aiden kicks at Ken's tyres before walking off.

Rovers Return - Bar
We can see Mike on the phone while Fred chews his nails nervously. The camera swings to Karen, Steve and Jack. Karen asks Jack the name of the horse Jack's going to back and asks if he's picked it because Vera always is "having a go"? Jack admits it is. Shelley approaches Steve with some change just as Steve says he doesn't care what horse Jack backs as long as he doesn't place his bet a Peter Barlow's. Jack umms an aahs as the nearest bookies after Peter's is quite a distance but Steve tells him he'll run him up and back in the cab free of charge. Karen gets annoyed at this, is Steve mad? He's running a business not a charity. Jack not bothered either way, he only wants to place his bet. Mike's off the phone and tells Fred that his solicitor agrees that Eve has a very strong case - if it wasn't for the bigamy. Fred's upset Mike told her about it but Mike points out he didn't mention any names. Anyway, Fred needs to confront Eve ASAP and Mike will give her the news that she's not getting anything except what she walked in with.

Ads - get the kettle on.

Rovers Return - Bar
Shelley approaches Karen. It's about time they put a stop to all this nonsense between Steve and Peter, they're like little boys. Karen agrees. Shelley then mentions that really none of it would have happened if Steve hadn't lost the betting slip and Karen counters with the fact that Peter was in the wrong because he knows that Steve did place the bet. Ahh but if Steve hadn't been so cocky, says Shelley. Karen gets the hump and they start rowing culminating in Shelley refusing to serve Karen and Karen storming out of the pub.

Roy's Rolls
Gail has been to see some fancy place for her wedding. It's suitably impressing enough that Audrey won't be shown up by ...er.. whoever she feels she needs to impress. Roy's listening and it seems he knows the place quite well and it does sound rather grand. Richard asks if Gail's booked it yet and says they will when he's seen it. Audrey bites the bullet and apologizes to Richard for having a go at him when her investments weren't doing so well, he's noticed that they've picked up considerably but accepts her apology. As they leave Vera turns to Roy and asks him if he knows about savings account. She's worried that they're not getting a good return. She heard what Audrey said to Richard and wonders if she should go and see him.

Steve and Karen's flat
Karen's having a buttie on the sofa in front of the box. She picks up her handbag but it's upside down and it's contents spill all over the floor. When she bends down to pick everything up she puts her hand under the sofa to find anything that might have rolled underneath. There, amongst the dust bunnies, make-up brush and other gubbins she finds Steve's missing betting slip.

Rovers Return - bar
Jack's at the bar reading the paper when Vera comes in and asks him if his horse won. It did but he lost everything on the other horses he backed. Instead of having a go at him (watch it Vera, Jack's got a bad heart and doesn't need shocks like that) Vera says she's got a better plan to get them more money. She thinks they should ask Richard about investing their savings to try and get a better return than they're getting from the bank as he's made a killing for Audrey. Jack's not keen at all but says he'll have a word with Audrey. Vera tells him in no uncertain terms that he will not talk to her he'll talk to Richard, after all what have they got to lose? Jack points out only their entire life savings. Vera says you have to speculate to accumulate and tells Jack to go and see Richard. At that moment Eve walks in...

Fred asks her to come through to the back. They go in the back room and Eve is stunned when Mike greets her. She wants to know why he's there and will come back when he's gone. Fred says Mike's there because he's his friend. Mike says it makes no difference if she stays or goes as the news he has will be the same regardless. Intrigued, Eve stays to hear what Mike has to say. Mike says that Fred's too vulnerable with the likes of Eve and he's been looking out for Fred's interests. He's not about to let a bitch like her take away Fred's most valuable asset. Sneering, Eve points out that it's hers and her name is over the door. Fred tells her she's not having the Rovers.

The Street
Karen catches up with Steve and gives him the good news about the betting slip. Pocketing the slip Steve says he'll leave Peter to stew for a bit longer before collecting his winnings. He's happy to see Peter business suffering. Karen's annoyed, she feels Steve's doing to Peter exactly what Bobbi did to Streetcars. Steve refuses to back down and leaves Karen open mouthed in the street.

Rovers Return - back room
Eve's fuming. She can understand why Mike has it in for her but not Fred. Eve says she's prepared to go to court for the pub. Mike comments that a jury might not have any sympathy for a woman who cons her husband to get a pub then one month later reveals that she's in fact still married to her first husband. Fred's upset, he doesn't think there's any need for this but Mike says there's every need. Eve's obviously forgotten that bigamy is a serious offence. Distraught Eve turns to Fred pleading with him that he knows it wasn't like that at all. Mike says a jury might not see it that way, a woman using her husband to help con her bigamously married new husband out of his property and business. Again Eve turns to Fred saying that he knows that's not what happened. Fred is very very unhappy. Eve pleads some more. She DESERVES the pub. Resolutely Fred tells her that if she proceeds with her claim on the pub he'll have no choice but to inform his solicitor about the bigamy. Eve's lost and she knows it. She asks Fred what will she do? Fred answers that he'll not see her wanting but she can't have the pub. Mike's horrified, he wants Fred to stand up for himself to her but Fred being a decent man (and I truly think he loved Eve) says he's made his mind up. Eve's a resourceful woman, something will turn up for her soon.

Grange Hill
End of the school day. Candice is trying to get out of some homework Ken has set them but he's having none of it. He walks to his car and as he gets up to it he sees he has a flat tyre. Looking around he sees a defiant looking Aiden with a group of smirking and grinning school mates.

Rovers Return - the hallway
Eve's shut the door to the back behind her as she leaves. She looks very shocked. She stops just before the entrance to the bar, removes her engagement ring and turns back looking towards the back room. She looks at the ring again tearfully and walks through the bar and out. In the back room Mike comments on how much he enjoyed all that but Fred's not happy he didn't enjoy any of it. He's lost Eve. Mike tells him she was only after his money but Fred knows and tells Mike that that's not true.

The Street - outside the Rovers
Eve's leaning against the wall, all the fight in her has gone. She looks up at her name above the door and weeps silently. Vera and Jack leave the pub and see her slumped against the wall, they look at her but walk off saying nothing. Eve moves away from the pub and strongly walks away, her head up.

The End.

***I would just like to take the opportunity to express how saddened I am about the whole Eve departure fiasco. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking the only reason Eve was written out is to allow the character Bet Gilroy to return and while I personally am not bothered by this I think that the whole storyline involving the bigamy was an insult. It was poorly written but superbly acted. Congratulations to John Savident and Melanie Kilburn for being so professional to act so well that utter crap forced upon them***

Well unexpectedly it is me! Amanda who was due to write tonight's report has been unexpectedly detained ... at work! I think she was asked to stay behind for being naughty!!

Ken is picking away at his food. He tells Deirdre that he is worried about the talk he had with Aiden's father. He was only trying to help Aiden. Deirdre thinks he should talk to the School Head.

Sarah wants Gail to help out with Beth who is crying. She says she has to finish her homework. Gail insists she goes to see her daughter first. Richard comes down and hints to Gail that he wants to talk to her privately. She tells David to tidy his room. Richard tells Gail that Patricia turned up at the house. Gail wants to know why. He explains that she is still a director of the company. She wants him to buy her out. Richard tells Gail not to worry.

The School Head calls Ken in, and says that she has Aiden's father on the phone. She wants to know why he went round. She tells him to discuss visiting parents with her first. Just as he is about to leave her office, she says the police are coming to the school to talk about vandalism in general. She wants Ken to introduce him.

Gail tells Molly about Richard's ex-wife. She says once she has the money, she will go away on holiday with it, and disappear.

Fred tells that Gina that resting on the till is not acceptable. She apologizes and says she was daydreaming. Fred tells her not to worry about losing a man. It is not worth it.

Roy asks Fred if he can put a notice about the Historical Society and their jubilee event.

Richard offers Patricia money. She doesn't think it is enough. They haggle and reach a compromise.

Aiden sees Ken talking to the police officer. Aiden comes over afterwards and asks Ken if he told him that he was responsible for damaging Ken's car. Ken says he didn't but wants to know if Aiden was responsible.

Norris asks Peter whether he was interested in the historical society event. Norris thinks as Peter was a former officer in the Royal Navy, and he is an officer of the Royal Mail they should feel some affinity. Peter agrees to join in.

Martin tells Gail to tell David to do his homework as he will be taking him out to the pictures.

Ashley comes home. Fred is there drinking whisky, and obviously in a merry mood. Fred feels very sorry for himself. Ashley tells him to pull himself together. He tells him he may not have Eve any more, but he has himself (Ashley), Maxine and Joshua.

Patricia reads over the legal document selling her shares to Richard. He tells her that she will have the money by Monday if she signs it.

(Aiden calls something over to Ken about a shopping trolley - sorry I didn't catch exactly what!).

Sally goes to see Kevin in the garage. She is bored. The girls are at after-school club. He invites her for a drink later.

Molly is buying a lot of food in the shop. She tells Gail that she is going to make Kevin a surprise special meal.

Peter tells Ken and Deirdre that he would have no self control if he was a teacher. He would give them a slap. He says they don't discipline them enough now. Ken says he is never in favour of physical punishment. There is a knock on the door. Deirdre opens the door to find a shopping trolley full of rubbish, with a cardboard sheet saying 'You missed this one'.

Richard comes home and tells Gail that he has bought out Patricia.

Peter is surprised that Ken has let Aiden and his dad walk all over him.

Kevin and Sally are enjoying a drink and chat in the Rovers. She says she doesn't like being a lady of leisure. He offers to help her in any way he can. She is pleased that they can remain good friends.

Molly is sitting at home in front of her dinner - waiting in vain.

Peter asks Sarah and Candice about Aiden and where he lives. They eventually tell him.

Kevin comes home and sees what Molly has prepared. He apologizes and offers to take her out. She says that is not what she wants.

Peter goes round to see Aiden's dad, and threatens him.

That's it for tonight.

Martin Rosen

A sunny morning on the street, and Kirk passes Eileen's house where she greets him from an upstairs window. Kirk is resplendent in what he calls his 'holiday shirt' (read that as 'hideous'). He tells Eileen that he once floated away on a Lilo in Spain. (Assure me that lightning CAN strike the same place twice!) He meets Fiz coming out of the corner shop. (Fiz has been seen 'coming out' before, I remember, unfortunately.)

At the garage, Peter wants Kevin to check his car, but Kevin says that he'll be under-staffed with Tyrone being on holiday - which gem of information Fiz overhears and, when she meets up with Kirk, she invites herself along on the boys' trip to Blackpool. Time of departure - 10h30am.

At Gail's, Richard is on the phone to Steve, who tells him that another 25,000 is needed for the flats' building work. Richard slams down the phone, livid. He wonders why he has so many set-backs; maybe he should give up? Gail assures him that he'll 'come up with something' - he always does. Richard, all Christian charity, bemoans the fact that some of his elderly investors live too long! He must get his thinking cap on...

Chez Ken. Blanche enthuses about funerals to Deirdre and Deirdre appeals to Ken (bet she doesn't!), who can only think about school. Ken is advised by Deirdre to give up teaching, since there's too much stress, but Ken accuses his family (Deirdre and Peter) of causing the stress, not the pupils. He can deal with school problems on his own, without the help of his family. Blanche asks Deirdre if she's seen Archie's 'Three for Two' sale...

The gang prepare to depart on holiday. Kirk, Tyrone and Jason load Sam's car, which they've borrowed, and Fiz arrives to join them, just as they were about to leave without her. (Poor Fiz - does nobody like her?)

In the cafe, Blanche continues her sales pitch about funerals to Emily, just as Richard arrives and asks Emily how she is. Contrary to his hopes, Emily is feeling fine. Molly tells Gail that she noticed the glint in her eye when Richard arrived, but that's never been the case for her and Kevin. As Molly leaves (she 'has something to do'), Richard kisses Gail and sits down.

Ken opens his door to find Aidan paying an unexpected, and unwelcome, visit. He has come for a chat. (Ken looks very stressed, again.)

Blackpool, the camp site. The intrepid foursome arrive, only to discover Maria and Toyah already there. Fiz wonders what the strange smell is, and Jason explains it's fresh air. (In Blackpool, no smell of chips and hamburgers?) The sextet aren't exactly set to get along well...

Again, chez Ken. Aidan tells Ken that his Dad could/should have charged Peter with assault. He lets 'Sir' know that he's enjoyed his fun baiting him, but he's now bored and 'Sir' is not worth his attention - he's a museum piece (like his house) and ought to resign. Aidan leaves, with Ken visibly shaken by the visit.

At the camp site, Maria is not at all happy that, on her week's holiday, she has the company of her stupid brother (Well said, Maria!) plus two of her ex-boyfriends, not forgetting that refugee of Fraggle Rock, Fiz. However, Toyah tells Maria that they'll cope.

Richard meets Gail in the cafe; he's just back from the bank, but it's bad news. Vera overhears their conversation and Richard suddenly realizes that Vera and Jack have money to invest. (You can almost 'see' the mind of this financial advisor working.) The Deirdre Mother shares her enthusiasm for funerals with Betty, who would rather not be reminded of her demise. Blanche assures Betty that there'll be lots of friends for her funeral. Betty exits, to go home for a lie down. Richard speaks to Vera at the counter. How much has she to invest? Oh, 20,000? He's sure he can suggest some ways to invest their savings - can she and Jack meet with him tonight? Richard will look forward to that...

Outside the caravan, Toyah and Jason are enjoying the sun, Jason concentrating on his tan while Toyah reads a book on female exploitation. Maria and Fiz have a spat about clothes, while a dark-haired and handsome young man in an adjacent caravan gives Toyah the eye and says hello. The girls are impressed by this example of male talent.

In the corner shop, Betty and Emily moan to Deirdre about Blanche's seeming obsession with funerals, and Deirdre advises them to ignore her Mum. Ken enters. He admits to not having a good day, and then spies Peter, whom he warns to stay out of his problems.

A quiet moment in the caravan with Tyrone and Maria. Tyrone ponders (there's a first!) that, if Fiz hadn't come along, would he and Maria still be together? Maria thinks it was all for the best. Kirk arrives, clumping into the caravan wet-through - he's fallen into one of the bogs. (Couldn't happen to a nicer chap, eh?)

Kevin arrives in his flat to find Molly packing her things. Molly tells him that it isn't about Sally, but that there was never 'any you and me'. Kevin accepts Molly's decision with good grace. She's off to her sister's now, and presents Kevin with bathroom scales, which she thinks always show her weight as stone too much. It's not good-bye, she tells him - they'll still be mates...

Chez Gail. Richard plies the hapless Duckworths with wine and beer, while he goes over the possibilities of investments. Gail assures Vera and Jack that Audrey's investments are doing well. Richard smiles a lot.

Back at Blackpool, where the happy campers are, well, not so happy. Toyah tries to get the cooker to light, but they need a bottle of gas. Shop shut, so no gas. They all get ready for a night on the town. Maria's dress, which she'd been going to wear that night, has been soaked by her brother's jeans, and she throws her dress at a mirror, breaking it into fragments. (Not another seven year's bad luck, please!!)

Back at Gail's, and Vera signs a cheque for 20,000, payable to Richard Hillman, who seems a bit over-anxious to clinch the financial deal. Gail asks him if it's normal for clients to make him the payee for cheques, but Richard explains that he's fast-tracking the investment for the Duckworths. The phone rings. Steve. Richard tells him that he's found the money, and Steve has to go ahead with the building works right away. Richard smiles, and says to Steve that he knew the money would come from somewhere...

Iain McDougall

The Street
Kirk's walking down the street and shouts hello to Eileen, who's banging a pair of trainers together out of an upstairs window. Kirk wants to know if Jason's ready for the holiday and Eileen tells him that he's not really. He's up in the loft trying to find his armbands and an old bucket and spade. Kirk, not being the sharpest tool in the box, believes her but Eileen tells him she's joking and he's only taking a couple of T shirts and shorts - he likes to travel light. Kirk's wearing his holiday shirt - a horrible green affair which doesn't impress Eileen in the slightest. Still, she points out, if he were to drift out to sea on a lilo he'd be easy to spot. This isn't something to laugh about as it actually happened to Kirk when he was 6. He was holidaying in Majorca and drifted out to sea in a dingy for 3 hours. His mother was worried as any longer his brains would have frazzled in the sun. This explains a lot, even to Eileen.

Peter's at the garage and wants his car to have a once over. Kev explains it might have to wait a day or two as he's short handed, Tyrone is off on his jollies. Peter asks where he's off to, Gran Canaria? Tenerife? Nah, Blackpool. He tells Tyrone to watch out as Blackpool is full of randy totty - it's the sea air. No-one notices Fizz ear wigging while pretending to look at the ads in The Kabin's window. Fizz collars Kirk as he comes out of The Kabin and asks him what the deal is about them going to Blackpool. She tells him his luck's in. She's owed time off from Baldwin's and can be packed in half an hour. Kirk asks her where she's going and Fizz tells him Blackpool - with him. He's horrified, it's a lads thing but Fizz tells him that they won't even notice her (with that hair, attitude and gob?) and they're to feel free to walk around nude if they like as she's dead broad minded. She asks him if he wouldn't like a gorgeous, sexy woman there - he does like women doesn't he? He does. So that's settled then, Fizz is going to Blackpool too.

Gail and Tricky's
Tricky's on the phone to Steve and Gail's pottering about listening in. Richard's telling Steve he can get £20k tops but it seems it's not enough. Gail's concerned. Richard puts the phone down and shouts out "DAMN IT" making Gail jump. It turns out Tricky needs another £25k on top. He's all for jacking everything in. All he wants is to try and build a future for them all and make a profit but it's set back after set back. Gail patronisingly tells him it'll all work out. Richard tells her that this is what the equity release scheme is for but trust him to do it for people who live too long. Gail laughs, aren't the people dying quick enough for him? Not seeing the funny side, he replies that no, they're not. He apologizes as that came out wrong but Gail's rosy coloured contact lenses means she can only see the funny side. He tells her he needs to find the extra money and had better put his thinking cap on.

Dreary and Ken's
Dreary's having a row with her mother. Blanche apparently has been going on about funerals for days and she's had enough. Blanche tells her she'll thank her when the time comes as everything will be sorted and all Deirdre will have to do is turn up wearing black trying to look upset. Deirdre replies that of course she'll look upset and tries to get some support from Ken. Ken's not listening, he's thinking about Aiden. Deirdre tells him that if he were to give up teaching no-one would think any the worse of him. It's stressing him out. Ken's annoyed, what's stressing him out is his family - she's trying to make him give up a job he's good at and Peter's going round to a pupil's house and threatening his father with violence. Deirdre tells him Peter was only trying to help. Standing up Ken tells her he doesn't need his help or hers for that matter. He walks out. There's a silence which is broken by Blanche. Has Deirdre heard of Archie's 3 for 2 sale?

The Street
Tyrone parks his car up outside the Grimshaw's. Kirk starts putting his gear in the boot and Jason gets a lecture from Eileen about dressing up warm and trying not to spend all his money in the first day. She gets a good dig in about Kirk wearing the same jacket as Tyrone (the one Fizz gave back to him). Is it a secret society? Dib dib dob? Jason is embarrassed. Fizz appears, annoyed. She realizes that they were going off with out her - of course they were says Tyrone, she's not coming. Of course she is, Kirk invited her. Kirk looks on as gormless as ever while Tyrone and Jason are angry. Tyrone thinks she'll be following them around everywhere and Jason just thinks she'll cramp their style with the ladies (why take Kirk then?). Fizz assures them she won't, after all Blackpool is full of real men like fairground blokes and lifeguards. ***Didn't Les work on the fairgrounds?!?!?*** Kirk's nominated to sit in the back with her on the way there.

Roy's Rolls
Blanche is talking to Emily about funerals, describing in detail how beautiful hers will be, especially if it rains. Emily enquires if she's asked for rain for the big day? Blanche doesn't appreciate being mocked. Tricky comes in and asks Emily if she's well. He hides his disappointment when she says she's very well indeed. Gail, who's sitting with Molly, looks over at him, smiling gently. Molly's laughs, Kevin's eyes don't light up like that when he sees her, mind you neither does hers when she sees him. Gail asks her if she's ok and Molly replies she's fine just putting off the inevitable. Gail's intrigued but Molly tells her it's nothing to worry about, just something she has to do. Richard joins them and gives Gail a kiss.

Ken and Dreary's
Ken answers the door, it's Aiden. He thought he'd pop round for a chat.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park.
The gruesome foursome arrive. It seems Kirk has misled everyone, they thought it was going o be chalets not caravans. Kirk also said there was a swimming pool - it turns out that there's a tank at the back of the shower block he used to play in as a kid. They want to leave but Kirk tells them the caravan is great, it has a fridge, a cooker and some deck chairs. It'll fit 4 easy. At that moment Maria and Toyah appear from round a corner. Fizz asks if the caravan will sleep 6 and points out the 2 girls to the others. Maria's not happy.

Ads - get the kettle on.

Part Two

Ken and Dreary's
Aiden asks Ken what he'd hoped to achieve by sending his son round to threaten his dad. Ken says he didn't send him round, he went of his own accord and for what it's worth he's very angry about it. Aiden doesn't believe him. He thinks Ken is pathetic, getting his son to fight his battles for him. Not very liberal of him is it? Ken's lucky his dad didn't go to the police. What a good headline that would make, Teacher's Son In Bully Shocker! Ken tries to but in but Aiden tells him that he's only come round to tell Ken that he's going to be laying off him now as he's bored with him. He asks Ken why he thinks he's a good teacher - he's a museum piece just like his house. He points out the "William Morris" wallpaper? Do me a favour - in fact do everyone a favour and resign. He's all washed up. Ken replies that he's not washed up but Aiden's already out the door.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park.
Kirk and Maria are having a row outside the caravan. Maria says she managed to get some time off which is why she and Toyah came. She tells them all to leave as it's her holiday. Kirk replies that it's his holiday too. Maria asks him if he thinks she'd really want to go on holiday with him, 2 ex-boyfriends and a reject from Fraggle Rock? Fizz takes umbrage. What's she doing here anyway? Kirk's not going out with her is he? Before he can reply Fizz jumps in with an emphatic denial. They all start discussing what they're going to do. Fizz wants to stay, Tyrone suggests a B+B but Toyah says there's plenty of room for all of them. Despite Maria's protests it's decided - they're all sharing.

Roy's Rolls
Richard tells Gail he's been to Manchester to see the bank manager, it's not good news. Although the flats would be good for collateral the underpinning needed means the bank can't agree to a loan - company policy. Vera's ear wigging and butts in. Gail tells her to mind her own business, they're having a private conversation. Vera tells her that if she wants private she should be at home then she carries on with her tale about banks. Apparently the bank would always stick 2 fingers up at the Duckworths but as soon as Jack won that money...Tricky's eyes light up at the mention of this. Having a dig at him Vera tells Richard that the bank didn't mind them saving as a couple, unlike some people. Richard starts backtracking and tells Vera that he was under the impression that they wanted money from their house, not that they had money to invest. Vera tells him she wants to invest in stocks and shares.

Blanche is talking funerals with Betty, she's showing her Archie's catalogue but Betty tells her that the whole lot is already sorted out. She's going in with Cyril and there's room on the headstone already. The only thing Betty is worried about is dying and no-one finding her for days as she heard about happening to someone recently. She doesn't want to talk about dying thank you very much. Undeterred Blanche carries on, Betty will be missed as she has a job and friends. Betty's annoyed, Blanche has put her right off her apple turnover so she ups and leaves. Richard goes to the counter and orders a couple of teas from Vera. He also takes his heavily crafted opportunity to apologise for his mistake about the money and to offer his advice on investing. How much were they thinking of investing by the way? Vera whispers £20k and instantly Richard asks her to come over later that day and he'll discuss it properly with her and Jack. Vera's happy and agrees, Richard tells her he's looking forward to it.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park.
Toyah's catching up on some coursework reading while Jason sunbathes in a deckchair. A guy appears with a ladder to get a kite down that's stuck on an ariel on another caravan. Maria and Fizz come out of their caravan, rowing. Maria caught Fizz going through her and Toyah's things. While they argue Toyah looks up and notices the guy rescuing the kite. Maria asks if Toyah's heard some of the things Fizz is coming out with but Toyah says no, she's looking at that bloke, who's also looking at Toyah. He says hello to Toyah before walking off with the ladder.

The Corner Shop
Emily and Betty are complaining about Blanche to Dreary. Dreary says she'd offer to have a word with her but knows Blanche would take no notice. She's better off being ignored. It's her "thing" for today, tomorrow she'll be on to something else like chewing gum on bus seats or facial hair on librarians. They all giggle. Ken comes in the shop and they ask him if he's ok. He says no and there's the reason why. They all look round and watch Ken as he approaches Peter who's at the back of the shop. Ken tells him that Aiden's been round telling him that he's pathetic for getting Peter to go round to threaten his dad, in fact he's so pathetic that he's going to leave Ken alone now and stop tormenting him. Peter's pleased, it's worked then. Ken starts shouting, no it's not OK. He wanted to get somewhere with Aiden through perseverance and determination but then Peter came along and undermined it all. Now because of Peter, Aiden thinks he's a pathetic old man who needs his bullying son to help keep order and discipline. Peter argues that it's got Aiden off his back but Ken tells him to keep out of his business - if he wants help he'll ask for it.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park.
Maria's alone with Tyrone. He's playing cards and she's putting her make-up on. He apologizes if they've ruined her holiday. Maria says it's OK, they weren't to know she'd gone there after all. He feels awkward the 2 of them being there. Maria mentions Jason and Tyrone mentions Fizz, don't forget Fizz, as if she could Maria tells him. He asks her if Fizz hadn't come along...and stolen you off me adds Maria...if she thinks they'd still be together? Maria says she doesn't know and it's probably best not to think about it. Still at least they're still mates which is just as well as they're going to be spending a week together. Kirk walks in covered in muck, he slipped in a bog by the toilets. Maria tells him to get out and take his jeans off. Kirk confesses he's only brought the clothes he has on - he didn't know he was going to fall in a bog did he? Tyrone goes to get Kirk a pair of his trousers to wear.

Kev's flat.
Kev arrives while Molly is in the middle of packing all her clothes. They're both resigned to the fact and Molly says she wishes they'd just stayed as friends and never become a couple. Kev thinks it's all about him and Sally but she tells him that it's all about him and her, nothing to do with Sally. He reminds her that they have a laugh together but Molly can't remember the last time they did. Molly says she going to stay at her sisters till she gets herself sorted. They parting but will still remain friends, she makes a joke about some scales she's leaving behind and they both laugh.

Gail and Tricky's
Jack and Vera are round. Richard gets them both a drink and then it's down to business. For some reason Gail's there too (although shouldn't this be confidential and there for none of her business?) Richard tells them that they can lose money on stocks and shares and Gail tells them that Audrey's doing rather nicely out of hers. Richard finds out that Vera likes bingo and shopping and Jack likes the horses. He suggests putting their money into shares of bingo halls and high street chains while reminding them of the risks yet again.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
Jason's admiring himself in the mirror asking Maria if she thinks he's gone browner from the afternoon in the sun. Maria's not interested, she wants to lay the table. Toyah can't get the cooker to work and Kirk points out that it needs a gas cylinder from the shop and no-one thought to get one anyway the shop's closed now. Fizz isn't bothered about food she wants to go out round the town, they can get food there. Toyah wants to see what Maria's wearing that night so she goes to get it. She comes back angry, it was on the bed but Kirk's filthy shoes from his earlier accident have fallen on it and ruined it. Kirk's not bothered but Maria, in a rage, throws his shoe and smashes a mirror. She tells them that she wants them all out of the caravan by tomorrow.

Gail and Tricky's
Richard's got all the paperwork together for Jack and Vera. All he needs now is a cheque but Vera can't find her cheque book. Never mind she'll come over tomorrow with it. Richard would rather it was tonight, the sooner he has the whole lot. paperwork and cheque the sooner they can start investing. Vera agrees then Jack sees her cheque book in her bag. Richard asks her to make the cheque out to him which concerns Gail. He tells them that he's fast tracking Vera and Jack as a favour and his secretary will send them a receipt as soon as the 14 day cooling off period has passed. Everyone's happy, especially Tricky Dicky. The phone rings, it's Steve for Richard. While Gail's talking to the Duckworths Richard tells Steve it's all systems go. Didn't he tell Steve he'd get the money?

Roll credits

Maria and Toyah are having a girls gossip in the caravan in Blackpool. Toyah has a second date with her Croatian former photographer and is mulling over what to wear and how she feels about it all. Maria says she'll have him if Toyah doesn't want him! Over in a nearby cafŽ the boys are deciding what to do. Tyrone reckons the Pleasure Beach. Others want to cruise round the top hotels in search of glamorous females (as if!). Fizz arrives and when she hears of Tyrone's plans announces 'boring'.

Back in Weatherfield Richard and Gail are indoors. The phone rings, Gail answers and finds that a female voice wants to speak to Richard. Richard's part of the conversation goes something like Nothing more I can do, I've said my fill. When he comes off the phone Gail wants to know who he's been talking to Patricia. What did she want? More money. His mobile rings, he looks at the LCD and on discovering it's Patricia, switches the phone off.

Toyah and her Croatian have met up. She's asks if he's got his job back and he tells her that he has. He had to work a shift for nothing. They are by the river and he is setting the scene for his photography. He decides that Toyah sitting with her back to a tree trunk is suitable. She mentions Naff. He wants to know what is means, is it like Tacky. He mentions Kitsch. Toyah says how much she's enjoying his company, it's better than talking about clothes and music like they do back at the campsite.

The boys with try to gain admission to a posh hotel. Unfortunately one of them goes the wrong way round the revolving doors. The doorman wants to know their room no. They say 416. ? asks the doorman. Yes. No it ain't that's inland. Oh! sorry it's 516. Same difference son, like most hotels that's overhead of the other. Now on your bike and out of here before I call the police. The lads are dejected but vow to continue their quest for posh totty..Fizz asks Tyrone what he's going to do and he says Walk. She wants to catch a tram or go in a horse and cart. He says he's going for a walk on the beach and she accuses him of being a right misery.

Richard has gone to visit Steve on the building site. They discuss the fact that the Inspector is due tomorrow. Steve assures Richard everything is in hand and all will be well.

Maria is strolling along the front at Blackpool.

Back in the Rivers Molly and Gail are chatting. Molly says that in addition to finding somewhere to live she's looking for a new job. Gail says she'll miss her. Fred and Ash are muttering about Roundheads and Cavaliers, according to Fred Roy hasn't got a clue, what people want is excitement. He thinks there'll be a bit of brass to be made out of supplying the ale and pies.

Maria climbs to the top of Blackpool Tower. Tyrone's there. They chat, and go down memory lane, after all that's where he proposed to her.

Richard asks Gail if she's going to the Civil War thing. Sarah and David are nearby. He wants new trainers. Patricia appears.

The former lovers remember the happy times. It were good. We were too young. We need to have a bit of fun but couldn't with all that scrimping and saving for the wedding. Remember how jealous Monica (the greyhound) was when I kissed you says Tyrone. He says he still misses her and the feelings mutual. Rotten being on your own even the view's no good when you're alone. Tyrone admits he never got over Maria and he doesn't want to.

Patricia crossed Gail's threshold. Richard wants to know why she's not on her flight. Oh she says I've put it back until we finish our business, I'll be here a while longer until Richard sorts himself out so perhaps I'll get to know Gail. Richard takes Patricia outside and she remarks he must be quite smitten. He says that because of the subsidence there'll be no cash until the flats are sold. I'd like to see it she says. We're having our tea he responds. He says he'll take her later.

Maria and Tyrone are disturbed by a bunch of kids and descend to ground level and go off to the pleasure beach. Tyrone is keen for them to try again. The lads are eating ice-creams on the front and see two girls nearby. Kirk & Jason establish that they are sisters (they look alike). The girls go off.

Toyah is studying the results of Mr. Croatia's photographic handiwork. They're fantastic she says. He is not so sure but tells her to take what she likes. He selects one which he tells her he'll take back to Croatia. I'll miss you she says.

The family meal has ended and Gail and Richard are doing the dishes. Richard tells Gail She's not going to ruin what we've got in a reference to Patricia.

Roy is in the Rovers when Fred comes to ask him about sponsors for the Cavalier shindig. Roy admits to council backing. Fred says he'll be sponsor.

Steve and Ash are dispatched back to their respective wives Molly's found a CD of Kev's which she hands over. Wants to know if the chat was about married versus singles blokes š yeah says Kev.

Richard and Patricia are together. She says she's not leaving without her £45,000.

Mr Croatia wants to know if Toyah felt let down. No says Toyah I'm so happy. Enjoy the moment he says and admits he lost a cousin in the fighting but then everyone's lost someone. We should concentrate on pleasure.

Patricia alights from Richard Red People Carrier. She's banging on about her 20% and says she'll ruin him, tell Gail and his clients. She has her back to an open pit (always a mistake with Richard around I feel). She rabbits on and he hits her with a shovel several times, quite hard, she falls backwards into the pitáááááá..

Written By John Stevenson Directed By: John Anderson, Eugene Ferguson

Gail comes downstairs and ask Richard what he is doing up at 6am. She knows he had a bad night, as he tossed and turned all night , is something on his mind? (you be there is!). He was calling out something about Patricia, but she couldn't make out what it was. He tells Gail Patricia won't be bothering them anymore, and he's off to the site to see to the underpinning. A dog is down the trench when Richard gets there, and he shoos it away. He climbs into the trench .Steve wonders what he is doing there so early, as he's cleaning the spade. He tells Steve he wants to make sure the work is done properly, it's his money after all that is being poured into those trenches. He wonders where the cement is, and Steve says it won't arrive till lunchtime, after the building inspector has checked the depth. Richard is twitchy, and stays beside the trench, but his luck is in, the building inspector has another job across town, so just checks the depth and all is fine. Steve finds a bracelet, just as the trench is being filled, but Richard explains it away by saying he recognises it from a lady he showed around the site, a prospective buyer, and he'll see she gets it back.

Toyah awakes in Goran's room, covered in a duvet. He slept on another bunk, and has watched her sleeping for two hours. He tells her he had a wonderful day, and it's his day off, and will she spend it with him. Toyah goes home for a shower, and tells Maria she spent the night with Goran, but not the way she thinks they did.

Marie and Tyrone decide to go on a tram, and Fizz wants to join them, but they make it clear she's not welcome. She then ask Kirk and Jason to go with them, but they have plans too, they are on the pull! Fizz says that she is too. They walk along the prom, and Jason and Kirk see the two sister from the day before, and walk away leaving Fizz on her own. She's down to her last 5UKP, and goes to buy candy floss, the owner won't accept it as he say it's a forgery, she rushes off with it, being chased by the shop keeper. She find herself in a fortune tellers booth, and is suprised when someone walks through the door, brandishing a 10UKP note. Fizz happily takes it off her, and the woman is that impressed with her reading, she brings her friend in for one too. The next one through the door is the booth owner, who sends her packing.

Jason and Kirk bring the girls back to the caravan for a party, but there's only lager, and the girls only drink tequila sunrise after sunset. Anyway, they tell the boys, they have a date at a male strip party, and they'll see them tomorrow. Jason comments that they've spent a fortune on those two that day.

Back at the cafe Fred tells Roy, that they need costumes for celebration, and that cavaliers wore ostrich plumes, Roy tells him not on a battle field. Fred later in the Rovers ask who are royalist, and after all, the day is supposed to be gracious fun and tipping hats for her majesty. Roy's' authentic stew is disgusting, and he will supply Elliott's prime pies. Hayley tells him he will have to discuss it with Roy, who is busy telling Norris that they will have to be more firm with Fred. Norris agrees, but says he did give him some power when he allowed him to put money over as sponsorship.

Toyah and Goran are walking on the beach. He tells her he watched her sleeping for two hours, and that she's special. She ask him how long he is staying, and he tells her he had planned to go and see his parents, but now he wants to stay here with her, and he tells her he loves her, and she tells him she does too. He tells her that his feelings are so strong, that he wants to get married.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
Maria asks Toyah if she's spending the day with her or Goran. Toyah admits she is seeing Goran but not for too long and will spend the rest of the day with her. Maria's happy for Toyah and says it's no problem if she wants to stay with Goran all day. Toyah tells Maria of her feeling about Goran, she feels she's known him for years not just a week. What will she do when he goes? Maria says it's only 50 miles and she can see him at weekends can't she? Toyah tells her that he's asked her to marry him. Maria, naturally, is stunned. Kirk, Jason and Tyrone are lounging around outside their van. Kirk is complaining that after he and Jason spent all their money on the 2 girls they met they didn't get anything for it. Fizz tells them it serves them right. Jason and Kirk have no money left and want to go home, Fizz offers to take them all for a pint. Immediately they ask her where she's got the money from and Fizz tells them of her fortune telling stint.

Gail and Tricky's
Gail's worried about Richard, he's not been sleeping well. He got up in the middle of the night and came down stairs for some booze. She knows he's worried about something but Richard fobs her off. Gail pressures him further and tells him that she knows money is the cause of most of his problems. She offers to cut back on the wedding but Richard won't hear of it. Gail asks if it's Patricia he's worried about, she won't be turning up again will she? Richard assures her 100% that she definitely won't.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
Maria's quizzing Toyah about Goran's proposal. Was it romantic? Toyah thinks so. Jokingly Maria asks her if it was at the top of the tower as she and Tyrone have copyright over proposals done up there. No it was on the beach. Maria asks if she's slept with him yet but Toyah says no. She says they were just talking and he looked at her with his gorgeous eyes and asked her outright to marry him. She didn't say yes though, she told him that she'd have to think about it although she was very flattered. So now she's thinking about it although part of her wanted to say yes right away. She really really likes him. Maria points out that it's probably just a holiday thing and after all she's only 19. Toyah reminds her that she was 17 when she got engaged to Tyrone but as Maria points out their engagement didn't work out did it. Maria tries to come to terms with the news and asks Toyah outright if maybe Goran only wants to marry her so he can stay in the country. Toyah denies this and gets offended, they're both madly in love that's why they're thinking of it. Then she confesses that she has thought about it but dismissed the idea as stupid. Maria thinks she could ask him because if it went through Toyah's mind maybe it went through Goran's mind too.

Baldwin's knicker factory
Mike's giving Hayley instructions on a rush order for a new client. Hayley's concerned as the order doesn't have to be ready for 2 weeks but Mike tells her he's off on his jollies. He's going golfing in Spain and wants the factory up to date before he goes. Janice reckons it'll be a holiday for them too unless Mike's going to get someone like Harvey Reuben's in to cover while he's away. Mike tells her not to worry as he's going to be getting someone he can trust to run the place while he's away. He's getting a full time manager in - and one not just for holiday cover. He hasn't anyone in mind as good managers are hard to find. He tells them to "watch this space".

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park -
club house Toyah collars Goran as he's collecting dirty glasses and asks him if he can get a couple of hours off. She needs to speak to him, he says he'll see what he can do. Fizz is telling the lads about her new found psychic powers but they think she's mad and tell her to get a round in. The two girls that cleaned out Jason and Kirk arrive and offer to buy them all drinks, one of them just won £200 on the bingo. Magnanimously Jason and Kirk agree to stay and have a drink or 10.

Baldwin's knicker factory
Janice is gently ribbing Hayley about being the new manager. Janice thinks it's a done deal but Hayley says it's a big step from Supervisor to office manager. It was a big step from machinist to managing director but Linda managed it fine says Karen. Hayley's not impressed, she doesn't want the job and wouldn't take it. Karen thinks Mike hasn't got anyone lined up and he's just thrown down the gauntlet to the girls to see if one of them can match up to the job. She decides she'll work through her dinner, it'll look good when Mike comes back and sees her beavering away. Janice and Hayley are stunned.

Blackpool - North Pier
Toyah and Goran are walking hand in hand. Goran tells her he knows she's going to turn him down. It was crazy of him to think she'd agree to marry him he knows that. Toyah asks him why he did then and he tells her because he wants to be with her. And because he wants to stay in this country she asks. He says yes. Toyah's distraught, so that's why he proposed? Just so he could stay here? Goran's confused, she knows his situation of course he wants to stay here but he loves her too. It seemed the perfect solution to him. Toyah walks off but he catches her. She doesn't believe him when he says he loves her only that he wants her so he can stay here. He tries to explain that he would have loved to take things slowly with her but it surely can't be long before someone reports him as an illegal immigrant and he's deported. He can't go back home to even see his sick mother as he'll never get back into the country again. Toyah's in tears, why hasn't he said any of this before? Now he's just emotionally blackmailing her. She walks off crying but he catches up to her again, apologising profusely. She's right, it's not her problem and he should never have asked her to marry him but please don't let all this ruin their last few days together.

Rovers Return - bar
Fred's reading up on the cavaliers and roundheads. He found it boring at school and finds it boring now. He tells Rita he's researching for the re-enactment. Rita thinks that should be Roy's job but Fred tells her that Roy thinks he knows everything about it all already and Roy just wants everyone to follow what he says regardless. Rita points out that the whole thing is Roy's baby so to speak. Fred agrees but the way Roy wants it to be will make it as dull as the book Fred's been trying to swot up from. Rita says she's not interested in it at all but might turn up on the day just to celebrate the jubilee. That's just it shouts Fred, it's supposed to be about celebrating. Roy calling it a skirmish makes it sound like a damp squib, it should be a full blown battle. Roy also wants it so the Parliamentarians win, what sort of jubilee is that? It's an insult to the queen (who cares?). Rita tells him she doesn't fancy Fred's chances of getting Roy to change the historical facts. What facts? counters Fred, some pamphlet published by some communist from Roy's historical society. No, he'll keep digging and see if he can't find some facts out of his own.

Blackpool - North Pier
Goran's still apologising to Toyah. He mixed up his emotions with his situation. Can they not go back to the way things were before he proposed? Toyah wants to talk about Croatia, Goran doesn't but she presses on. He tells her that just because it's not on the news anymore doesn't mean the people aren't still suffering. There's poverty and homelessness. There's that here too says Toyah but Goran argues that Britain is a rich country, people over there really have nothing. She asks him why he doesn't apply for asylum and he tells her that's a waste of time, it's better to stay invisible as an illegal immigrant, work and send money back home. Toyah thinks there must be something they could do, they could start a campaign, make the government aware of his situation (Like they'd care!) they would give him a work permit (what colour is the sky in your world Toyah?). Goran, correctly, tells her it's pointless, he'd be put on the next plane home. Toyah won't give up so it's time for Goran to put her straight. He has a degree in photography but over here's working 72 hours for £2 an hour if there was something else he could do he would. Toyah's defeated and upset.

Political broadcast over, time for a cuppa. It's the ads.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
Toyah and Maria are discussing the days events in their caravan. Toyah feels ashamed for the way she went on and on at Goran. Fizz arrives at the caravan but decides to listen at the door instead of coming in. She hears Maria saying about Goran only wanting Toyah for a passport. Toyah agrees but feels uncomfortable about how easy her life is compared to other peoples. Goran needing a passport is not her fault reminds Maria and is distracted by a noise from the doorway - Fizz. She pretends she's come to borrow some shampoo.

Baldwin's knicker factory
Karen's put part one of her plan into action. As Mike comes round to see how everyone's doing he's shocked when he sees Karen has done much more than anyone else. She tells him that she set herself a target that morning but decided she could beat it if she worked through her lunch and so she did. Mike's pleased and Karen says that as she's finished she can start on that new order if he likes. Mike's a bit nonplussed but lets her carry on. Janice and Hayley smirk to each other. Janice calls to Karen and tells her 2 can play at that game. My you can fair see the smoke from those sewing machines, the girls have never worked so hard...Janice finishes her last pair of knickers a split second before Karen and shouts to Mike that as she's finished would he like her to start on the new order too? Karen is not happy.

Gail and Tricky's
Gail's sorting through the washing and is going through Tricky Dicky's suit pockets when she finds Patricia's bracelet. As she examines it we can see the word "Richard" inscribed inside it.

Roy's Rolls
It's another boring meeting about the boring re-enactment held by boring Roy. Hayley stands up and tells of how she's coming along with the costumes and how's she's decided on elasticated waists although she knows that this makes them less accurate. Roy sulks a little. Fred enters the caff, have they started the meeting without their official sponsor? (as far as I can see they've started without everybody as the only person I've seen is Emily and the shoulders of an unknown as yet person). Roy says they've only started on the exciting news of the costumes but as it happens Fred has some exciting news of his own n'all. Fred's had a belting idea of how they can make the whole thing go with a bang. Roy tells him there is an agenda but Fred tells him that when they hear what he has to say then they'll not need Roy's agenda. Fred sits down and we see that 2nd person at the meeting is Old Mother Norris, although what gossip he's hoping to hear or spread I can't fathom. Opening his book, Fred starts off with his speech. He proposes that they let the Royalists win, led by the dashing Earl of Lindsey, General in Chief to King Charles the 1st. played by ....Fred! Roy's head drops to his hands. The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
- Club House Maria's with Tyrone, Kirk and Jason are licking the tonsils of the 2 girls they met and Toyah's looking glum. I'd have thought The Nolans "I'm in the mood" that's playing in the background would have cheered anyone up....Kirk and Jason come up for air and grin at each other. Fizz is at the bar getting a round in. She's being served by Goran. He puts all the drinks on a tray and asks her if there's anything else. Fizz tells him if he wants to marry an English girl then look no further - if the price is right. Goran doesn't know what to say but he's angry. The 2 girls with Jason and Kirk ask if they want to go to theirs for their tea. They agree and the 2 girls leave to powder their noses. Jason and Kirk are ecstatic - they've pulled.

Goran comes over to the table and asks Toyah quietly not to tell anyone else the things he's told her. Toyah tells him that she hasn't told anyone and Goran asks why then has their friend at the bar just told him she'd marry him. Toyah's horrified. Kirk makes a remark about "all these foreigners coming over here and nicking our jobs" much to everyone's (except Jason's) distaste. Jason adds that he's right, after all he could be doing Goran's job. Toyah angrily asks him if he's really work 72 hours a week for £2 an hour? People like Goran come over here and do the jobs that people like them wouldn't touch with a barge pole. Kirk says that not all of them do that though do they, they come over here and just sign on. Like he does? asks Toyah. Ah but Kirk's entitled to because he's a British Citizen. Toyah calls him a layabout but Kirk argues he's a grafter but one who works for his dad. Toyah gets up and collars Fizz who's arrived with the drinks. She tells her to keep her nose out and her mouth shut. Fizz, who's too stupid to think she might have done anything wrong, tells her to keep her hair on. She was only joking with Goran and anyway he's only got eyes for Toyah.

Gail and Tricky's
Richard's relaxing on the sofa and asks if all the brats are out. They've gone her Mam's for the night. Gail tells him that she took a couple of his suits to the cleaners today and found a bangle in the pocket...Richard jumps up immediately and shouts at Gail that it's nothing at all to do with her and snatches it off her. Gail's shocked as he carries on shouting and berates her for going through his pockets. Realising his mistake he changes tack and tells Gail that the bangle was meant to be a surprise. It's a family heirloom that belonged to his grandmother. It was meant to be a surprise on their wedding day - something old - and he only got it engraved a couple of days ago put it in his pocket and forgot all about it. Suitably ashamed (ha!) Gail tells him she wasn't sure where it had come from and was a little suspicious but she's laughing now although she's sorry she's ruined his surprise. He tells her to wear it now and he'll get her something else. Gail gives him a big hug and Richards shuts his eyes very relieved to have got away with that one.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
Maria and Tyrone come in the caravan. Maria goes to comfort and upset Toyah and to apologise for her brother and Jason. Toyah's more angry than upset. None of them know a thing about Goran, the thing's he been through. They had no right to talk about him the way they did. Tyrone offers to make a brew. Toyah's still banging on how wonderful Goran is and tells Maria that if he'd been born over here he could have really made something of his life. Maybe he could Maria says. How? asks Toyah. Here he's just cheap labour and there's nothing for him back home. Outside another van a car pulls up and young couple get out with their suitcases. The guy is worried as there's a window open in their caravan. They can hear the TV's on. They go in the van and are disgusted at the state of the place - it's filthy - and also horrified at the sight of Fizz sitting there. Fizz as gobby as ever tells them they must have the wrong van as they've hired this one. They start arguing and Fizz tells them to go to the site manager and find out where they're meant to be. The guy gets out his phone and tells Fizz he's calling the police.

Roy's Rolls
Roy's arguing that he Earl of wherever wouldn't have fought a minor battle like Roy's re-enactment but Fred says he did fight one not far away in Preston in 1642 so who's to say he didn't on his way there. Fred reminds him that Preston's only an hour away - although not by horse counters Roy. They continue arguing over the rights and wrongs and Fred tells Roy not to get so hung up on little details, see the broader picture. To cut a long and boring story short Fred tells his idea of some battle where basically he wins and Roy's side lose. At the end of the battle he Fred, Earl of Wherever raises a toast to the present queen. Ta -da!!! Roy's not having it, Fred's version is inaccurate where as Roy's version is just dull. Roy refuses to allow the whole re-enactment to be hijacked like this. Fred stands up and bellows it's not being hijacked he just wants people to be sitting on the edge of their seats. Another row where Fred wants entertainment and Roy authenticity. Hayley tries to make the peace, after all they will need Royalists there and some of Fred's ideas might be usable. They move on to the next item on the agenda.

The Dunes Holiday Park. Blackpool's Premier Holiday Park
The lovely sight of Fizz being led away by the police greets us. She's arguing with the WPC that she's paid good money for the van. The owners tell the police that she's obviously been there a few days and they've never seen squatters in a caravan park before. Fizz is put in the police car. Toyah's guilt at the way Goran's life has turned out and what the Three Amigos said in the club house makes her rethink her decision on marrying Goran. She tells Maria that she loves Goran and she knows he loves her so there's only one thing she can do - she's going to marry him

The end - thankfully.

Written By Joe Turner, Directed By David Kester

We open up in Roy's cafe as Mike and Joe are having breakfast. Mike asks him what would he have done, if Mike hadn't come along. In the rag trade asks Mike, and Joe replies yes, but they weren't exactly fighting over him, and Mikes was the best offer. Mike tells Joe that people will think he's lost it, and is there any more scams that he should know about. Joe takes exception to this, and is ready to walk away, but Mike calms him down. Joe says if Mike has only took him on to do dodgy stuff, he's not interested. The bosses knew everything, and he took the rap. The bosses made the money not him, and he doesn't want any suprises. He asks Mike for a 500UKP advance, so he can find a flat, he's sick of the B&B.

Sally ask Eileen if she's head from Jason, and she tells him no, but writing was never one of his strong points. She 's furious later when Fizz tells her that Jason has stayed on in Blackpool, but declares later she won't ring him, he will have to ring her.

Roy can't beleive that Norris has changed sides. He says he might accept defeat and hand it over to Fred.

Aidan wants Sarah to go to school, sign the register than play truant, but Sarah says she'll get caught out. Aidan tells her she's boring, and later Sarah takes it out on Todd for her boring life. Candice is on report. She's played truant and been found out.

Sally tells Kevin that she thinks Rita is checking up on her. The first thing she will do , when she get the money from the insurance company, is pay Rita her money. She tells Kevin that she has an interview with Freshco that afternoon, but misses the appointment , as they were running late, and she had to pick the kids up from school. Kevin tells her she'll have to get things sorted out with him, and later tells him that the cheque is in the post.

Mike takes Joe over to the factory to be introduced to the girls. Karen is furious that Joe is the new boss. She tells Janice that either of them two could have done the job, and Joe Carter won't get an easy ride with her. She will make his life so difficult, he'll want to resign in a week.

All the girls are falling over Joe, Dev notices that Sunita is watching from across the street, and Shelly tells him he looks like he's really enjoying his drink. Joe has eyes for Geena.

Karen takes a screwdriver to her machine and pulls the belt off. He fixes it, and tells her if he was a suspicious man, he would think she had pulled the drive belt off. He leans over and tells her to behave herself.

Dev is watching Joe talk to Geena. She asks him where he's from, and he tells her from Birmingham. Dev is curious about Joe and ask Mike where he found him. Mike says not to tell anyone but this time last week, he was slopping out in prison. He served two years for fraud. Dev cannot beleive his ears, that Mike has employed a common criminal. Mike tells hi that Joe is cleaner than clean, and he won't let Mike down. Mike is off on holiday next week, and Joe will be in charge. He tells Dev to watch and learn. --

Written By John Fay, Directed By David Kester

Joe is chatting to Sunita across the counter, Sunita tells Dev that he seems nice, and Dev retorts you should never judge the product by the packaging. He should know, he's in retail.

Gail and Richard are off to the solicitors, and Richard is surprised that Gail is wearing the bracelet. He thought she would only wear it for special occasions. Gail says that it is a special occasion - the day she replaces Patricia as his official partner. Richard says that they will go straight in and out, but Gail says that it's a legal document, binding them together, and in eight weeks there'll be another, when they get married.

Sarah and David waking to school spy Fred with a large sword. David is won over by Fred, who ask has not heard about the Jubilee celebrations, which will be a fight to the finish.

Candice tells Aidan that she can't bunk off school as she is on report, and is not pleased when Sarah says she will, and they can go to her house for the afternoon. He asks if there's any food, and Sarah replies that there's not much on a Wednesday, so Aidan goes to the Kabin, to steal sweets as Sarah covers for him. Once at Gail's, they find it dull, with daytime TV, but just as they are about to out on a D, Sarah hears voices, and they sneak out of the back door, as Gail entices Richard upstairs for the afternoon.

Roy is worried that the enactment won't be an accurate portrayal of a historic event, more of a fiasco if Fred Elliott gets his way.

Sam asks for a few weeks holiday to visit someone in Ibiza, but Kevin says he can't afford to let him just now, with Tyrone being away and work to catch up on. (Start of the parting of the ways with Sam soon to leave The street).

Joes takes the girls for a lunchtime drink. They all agree he's not bad, who can remember the last time Baldwin bought them one. All except Karen of course, who thinks they are all being fooled. Joe flirts with Geena much to Dev's annoyance.

Fred is trying on his costume in the back room of the Rovers, when Betty barges in, surprised at his red tights. She tells him, on the day, there will only be him and Roy Cropper. Fred comes through to the bar, and gives a rousing speech, promising the only way his red tights will be seen, is on the Red Rec on Monday.

Fizz comes to see Roy, and ask him what a poltroon is, a coward says Roy, and she proceeds to tell him all that's gone on at the Rovers. Roy drops his pinny, and tells Hayley he can't be responsible for his actions, and storms off to see Fred.

Roy laces into Fred verbally, telling him his Excalibur is thousands of years out of date, and he's turning the enactment into a pantomime. Unless Fred agrees to some ground rules, Fred not being sponsor, and some choreography - he's going to call the whole thing off.

Mike asks Joe how things are going. He tells him that Karen is is proving difficult, and Mike says that's because she had her eye on his job. Mike says the secret is not get her to like him, but to get her to do as she's told.

Sally tells Rita that she will getting her insurance money soon, and before she knows it, she is promising the girls a holiday.

Dev follows Joe out of the Rovers, after witnessing him making a date for the next day with Geena. He calls after him, and tells him to stay away from Geena. He tells Joe that he knows what he is, a crook, just out of jail. Joe retorts that he doesn't know him, or what he is capable of.

Janice

Gail and Tricky's
It's morning and everyone's getting ready for school or work. Richard asks Gail about the furniture in the living room. He wants to furnish the show flat and wonders whether to get a designer in or do it themselves. Gail thinks they can do it together and will go and look round some furniture showrooms on Sunday. Richard offers Sarah a lift to the cr�che but not on to school (which is handy seeing as she's not going on to school). Gail tells her that if she's doing nothing on Sunday she's babysitting David and Bethany which annoys Sarah.

Rovers Return - back room
Betty shows Roy in to see Fred while warning them to be civilised to each other. Roy wants to call a meeting with all their cohorts to sort out the order of battle so that everyone knows who's dying when and that just Roy and Fred will be left alive at the end of it all. Roy wants to know if Fred wants to be killed at the end or turn tail and flee as history dictates that the Royalists lose.

The Kabin
Joe collars Mike and asks him why he told Dev about him being in gaol. Mike says Dev won't say a word but Joe points out that he already has - to him. Mike tells him it's hardly surprising, he has a factory full of women but Joe decides to pick on Dev's ex fiancŽ. What does he expect? Mike still reckons Dev won't say anything. Rita, Sam and Norris (who can't keep out of any conversation) are talking about the re-enactment. Sam says he can hardly remember the Falklands war so he's not too clued up on this one. Kev comes in and moans at Sam to stop gassing and get to work as there's loads to do. If Sam doesn't hurry back to his job then he'll find that he doesn't have one. Kev storms out.

The street
Aiden and Sarah are bunking off school together. Aiden asks if she's told Todd they're together but Sarah says no as he would only moan about getting good grades in his GCSE's. Sarah moans about her life and they nearly wander into Ken Barlow. Just in time they run off laughing.

Rovers Return - Bar
Fred's waving his sword around behind the bar (oooh er) which is annoying Geena. Les asks if they're all getting swords like Fred's but he tells Les that they're having wooden ones. Les is not impressed and asks Richard if Roy's providing them with real weapons. Richard replies that of course they are, Roy's getting them a helicopter gunship. Les moans about getting a wooden sword again and Fred tells him he's on the side of Royalty, he'll need a stick to beat off all the women. Dev comes to the bar and asks Betty for a word with Geena. He tells Geena that he wants to warn her about Joe but she's having none of it. As far as she's concerned Dev gave up all rights to poke his nose into her life months ago. She tells him to go away and count his corner shops. She moans to Betty about him and Betty says that he may have a point, Geena shouldn't get too involved with the 1st man who comes along.

The Street.
Sarah and Aiden are eating chips. Sarah asks him why he doesn't like school as he's obviously clever. He says he'd rather have a laugh and anyway he wants to know how could she have been so stupid as to let a muppet like Neil Fearns get her pregnant. Sarah replies that it was along time ago and she was too far gone to get rid of it once she found out she was pregnant. Aiden's not impressed he can't see that it would be any fun having a snotty nosed brat hanging round you all the time. Sarah tries to point out that Bethany's a bright child and it's not as bleak as he makes out. He then has a go about how boring Todd is. He asks her to come into Manchester with him and some mates during half term if she's nothing on. She's up for that but might have to bring Bethany as she has to look after her during the holidays. Aiden's not keen and when Sarah suggests that they could go round the precinct instead if she does have to bring her, he's horrified. He doesn't want a kid tagging along, someone might think it's his. Sarah tells him Bethany's not an "it". Aiden's starts to walk off but turns and suggests they go into Manchester after half term - just the 2 of them.

Rovers Return - Bar
Joe asks Geena if she fancies going for a meal that evening but she thinks they should go for a drink first and see where that takes them. Dev walks in with Vik and Geena suggests they go elsewhere that evening and give the Rovers a miss. Vik orders the drinks while Dev goes and sits down. Joe notices how unhappy Dev looks and asks Geena if she's sure there's no more going on between them and Geena tells him that she and Dev had words earlier because of Dev's games. She proceeds to tell Joe about her conversation earlier. Vik takes the drinks to Dev and asks if he wants to stay. Dev tells Vik that Joe's just done 2 years for fraud but Vik's not interested. You can't blame someone trying it on with Geena especially now as she's a free agent. Dev says he still cares about her and they would have been married by now. He feels that Geena has a right to know what's going on and about Joe's past. Vik tells him that it's not serious between them and even if it does get serious Geena will be better off finding out about Joe from anyone other than Dev.

Sally's
Sally and Rosie come in and are chatting about holidays and villas. Sally picks up the mail and opens it while Rosie goes to get a snack. One of the letters is from the insurers and the smile slowly drains from Sally's face as she reads it. A worried Rosie asks her if she's ok and pretends she is.

Ads - milk with one please.

Roy's Rolls
Roy, Hayley and Ken are discussing the battle plans. Hayley makes a little joke but of course Roy has no sense of humour when it comes to his pet project and it falls flat. He wants to get on with the battle plans. Todd comes in and sits with Sarah and Beth. He asks her where she was all day and asks if she still wants to go out with him. After all she has spent all day bunking off with Aiden. Candice told him all about it (what a good friend she is!?) Ken comes over and asks her where she was today. Sarah lies and says Beth was ill. Ken offers to ask Gail for some private tuition but Sarah says no.

Sally's
Sal's told Gail about the letter and she in turn has discussed it with Richard. It would appear that Sally was under-insured. Because of this the insurers are entitled to only pay out a percentage of the claim which it would seem is what has happened. The money they've offered isn't enough for her to pay back Rita, Kev, her suppliers or pay the outstanding household bills. Sensibly Gail tells her to priorities, Rita and Kev won't mind waiting but the suppliers and bills will have to be paid first. Sal wants to pay Rita back most of all. Rita's already told her that she thought Sal ran the business poorly and the last thing she wants is for Rita to find out that she couldn't even get the insurance cover right.

Rovers Return - Bar Mike and Joe are at the bar. Dev and Deirdre come to the bar and Mike gets them all a drink. Deirdre tells them all that Dev's been like a bear with a sore head all day when Mike feigns surprise when Dev orders a brandy. Pulling her to one side Dev gives her an earful, he's her boss, she's not to talk about him like that. At that moment Geena comes in. It's her date with Joe. Geena and Joe leave, Mike turns to Dev and tries to reassure him that Joe's a good bloke. Dev's not impressed. Fred asks Norris if he can rely on him to not change sides. Norris is put out but Fred reminds him all's fair in love and war and Roy might try anything to get him back on side. He then whispers something to Norris. Sal comes in and goes up to Rita. Despite all of Gail's sound advice Sal gives Rita a cheque for the full amount she owes her. It's post-dated as Sal's not due to get her payout until next week. Rita thinks she'll use the money to take Mavis on a cruise round the med. Norris tells her she should save it not spend it. Sal makes her excuses to leave and is disheartened when Rita tells her not to worry, she won't spend the money on anything remotely sensible.

Gail and Tricky's
Todd's giving Sarah the 3rd degree about Aiden and how they spent the day together. Sarah tells him not to worry, she's not Candice, she isn't cheating on him. Todd asks her to come back over to his, he wants her to help him choose a Uni to go to but Sarah doesn't want to. David asks if they'll be doing the re-enactment on Monday but neither Sarah or Todd are keen. David knowingly makes a comment that no doubt they'll be sneaking back to the house as they'll know no-one's in. Sarah smiles coyly but Todd comments that David must be mistaking him for someone else (Aiden). He asks Sarah if she'll come out on Sunday, they can take Beth to the park. Sarah tells him she has to baby-sit David but Todd thinks that's fine, David can come too...unless of course she's meeting someone else that day? Richard arrives home and asks David if he fancies coming to the re-enactment meeting at the pub, they leave and so does Todd. His parting comment being that he's going to look for a university that's furthest away from Weatherfield.

Rovers Return - Bar
It's meeting about the re-enactment. Roy takes the floor and explains that they've decided the battle sequence by drawing lots earlier so as to save time now and the 1st person to die in the battle will be Les Battersby. Les is not happy and doesn't shut up for the entire length of the meeting about how he doesn't want to be the first the die. It turned out that everyone volunteered to kill him but the honour falls to Ken. Les is even less impressed by this - being killed by a poncy teacher (as opposed to Les who's just a lazy, thieving, sexist, misogynist pig). Norris shows Roy Fred's sword (finest stainless steel) and this gets Roy's back up. Eventually the whole meeting descends into uproar with everyone talking at once. Shouting over the top of everyone is Les still moaning about being killed first.

Sal's
Kev's round and Sal's told him the news about her low insurance payout. Kev berates for being so stupid as to have inadequate cover and Sal tells him that she knows it was stupid. Kev tells her that that's not the stupid thing, the stupid thing was giving Rita the money so she could go and waste it all on treating Mavis to a cruise round the med and not paying her other debts off first. In tears Sal tries to explain why she had to pay Rita and also how she wanted to take the gurrls away on holiday too. She admits she's not told them yet and doesn't know how to tell them they're not going away. She then bangs on about all the bad things she's put them through, Greg, Danny, always struggling. Kev puts his arms around her and hugs her.

The Street
Geena and Joe are returning from their drink. It seems the only part of her life Geena's not told him is how she and Dev split up, Joe's managed to avoid telling her anything about himself. Geena thinks they should spend the rest of the night talking about him. They get to the Rovers but decide not to go in. Geena invites him to a little pizza place near hers and tells him not to get any ideas about spending the night.

Rovers Return - bar
Les is still banging on about not wanting to die first. He thinks they should draw the lots again. One by one everyone starts to get up to go. Ken leaves first and tells Roy that he has his full support on whatever he decides to do. An argument follows with Fred and Roy about weapons. Norris thinks Roy's pike is just as dangerous as the sword but at least Fred will be up on a horse out of danger. Roy is flabbergasted. Fred's borrowing a dray horse from the brewery. Roy asks him how he's going to die if he's on a horse. Fred tells him that the plan is he doesn't die in tribute to the jubilee. It's put to the vote with Fred swaying popular opinion by offering a drink on the house. Fred wins the vote much to Roy and Hayley's anger.

The end.

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