Here is the report for the first Corrie episode of 2005--I hope you all had a great new year, whatever you did and however hungover you now are.

Speaking of hangovers, that's exactly what Frankie is suffering as the episode opens. Danny answers the ringing phone to learn that Warren has been picked for the team and plays today. It takes a while for the fact to register with Frankie but when it does, she's delighted! Warren however comes downstairs and after the new year is in no fit state for a game of football.

Shelley is in the back room, which is in a mess. She picks up a tape measure and measures her waist.

Ken and Deirdre are eating breakfast as Tracy makes sandwiches in the kitchen. Deirdre is telling Ken how she promised to look out for Shelley and she is determined to get to the bottom of what Charlie is up to.

Jamie comes in to the Baldwin house and vows to get Warren into a fit state. As phase one, he offers Warren a drink. In a matter of seconds he's rushing upstairs to be sick. Jamie says it's just the first stage in a grueling process!

Shelley is being blunt with Charlie in a surprising role reversal. Violet comes in and it's clear she's uneasy about the dress. Shelley tells her she can keep it.

Steve is in the cab office. Tracy comes in and gives him some sandwiches but he refuse. Eileen comes in as Tracy leaves, blowing a kiss. Eileen smirks and accepts the sandwiches which Steve doesn't want.

Craig is taking Rosie upstairs when Tommy demands to know where they are going. Craig answers they will listen to music. Tommy warns them to behave and Rosie assures him they will. Within seconds, heavy metal music is blaring from the bedroom.

Everyone is preparing to leave for the match. Warren is fine again and ready to play.

Charlie has a new dress for Shelley, this time her right size. A delighted Shelley shows it to Violet

The heavy metal from Craig's room stops and Tommy and Angela are disappointed by this. Rosie and Craig announce they are going to the Abyss, which is in fact a shop for 'cool kids'

Warren is put on the bench at the football match and his manager smells alcohol on him. Meanwhile, Adam is wondering if he's Jamie's uncle while Candice waves to Warren.

Roy points Vince out to Hayley before he goes over and tells Vince to leave as it is not a waiting room. It emerges that he was waiting for Jason and they both order food after all.

Eileen is eating Tracy's sandwiches when the catering delight herself walks in, asking what sandwiches he'd like tomorrow. He tells her he wants none from her and she blows him another seductive kiss before walking out. Eileen finds this hysterical.

Hayley asks Vince if everything is okay. He is polite to her so Hayley tells him he seems okay. Roy is certainly unconvinced.

Adam offers Candice his jacket as she's cold but she just wants to see Warren on. The manager tells Warren to come on---until the person he was going to replace scores! Frankie is furious!

Tommy and Angela are telling an amused Kevin about the Abyss when Craig and Rosie come round the corner, dressed in full goth outfits to the horror of Kevin and Tommy.

Warren is just on the pitch when the whistle goes. In anger, he kicks the ball into some players and the referee books him

Violet tells Jason that he is still in the dog house.

Deirdre watches as Shelley takes Charlie in to the back.

Danny congratulates a surprised Warren on his maturity (something I've never seen present in Warren). When asked what he has learned he replies reasonably that he's a plonker.

Shelley tells Charlie she's changed the dress back to the original size and the size she should be. Charlie plays with her mind telling her that she's fine as she is. She's determined to lose weight but tells Charlie that he's perfect as he is.

So what have we learned from the episode?
-Frankie doesn't know how to answer a phone
-Porridge is a good pre-match carb boost
-Weatherfield County don't have a director's box or a pie stand.
-Stench Of Death is popular with young people.
-Baldwins are adaptable
-Warren planned to score for Candice, Jamie and Danny but not Frankie.
-Charlie bought Shelley's dress from Crossida
-Plague and Pestilence and Blood Dogs from Hell are Stench of Death songs.
-The Abyss sells 'clothes and stuff'
-Roy's Rolls isn't a waiting room
-Tracy's pickle is fruity.
-Deirdre has a lovely bit of ham in the fridge.
-Tracy can read lips
-Atlantis didn't sink because someone flushed the toilet.
-The referee got a new red card for Christmas

Awards
Longest conversation potential: "What's wrong with him?" Frankie about Warren.
Most painful process: "I'm thinking." Shelley
Hardest IQ Test: "What's this?" Steve as Tracy hands him some sandwiches hidden cunningly behind foil.
Best description: "She's loop-de-la-la" Steve about Tracy
Most intelligent deduction: "Look's like he's on the bench." Danny as Warren sits on the bench.
Second most intelligent deduction: "He's coming on!" Danny as Warren heads for the pitch
Third most intelligent deduction: "He's not going on" Adam as Warren sits back on the bench
Hardest New Year's resolution to fulfill: "I'll stop being a plonker" Warren

Happy New Year to everyone from myself and all the reporters. Whatever break you have left, enjoy it while it lasts, if it's not already over.

Until next Sunday

Duncan Lindsay

Hello everyone, sorry for the lateness of this, went back to work yesterday and everything's gone mad ever since! Anyway, now that we are all back to some kind of normal, here is the first episode of Monday 3rd January.

We begin at breakfast time in the Webster household. Sally is obviously thrilled with her new job and enthusing about the coming year, the family are going places ö ÎWhere?â asks Sophie, ÎBlackpool again?â Sally explains that she didnât mean it in that way, but now money will no longer be a problem. ÎMoney? Who needs it?â scoffs Rosie, Sally tells her that they do, same as everyone else, but now they will be able to think about Sophie following her sister to Oakhill when the time comes. ÎEh?â queries Kevin, but Sally takes no notice. Sophie has got her thinking about summer holidays, but Rosie interrupts and tells her they wonât be there in the summer as the world is going to end on March 17th, itâs a Gothic prophesy. Kevin and Sally laugh, and Sally gets out her diary. March 17th is St. Patrickâs day, and apparently a Thursday, which she thinks is an odd choice. (Mind you, if the world is going to end, who gets to pick the day?) The girls go off to fight over the bathroom and Kevin offers to run Sally to work. She tells him she likes going places with him and they share an affectionate moment. Kevin tells her that if sheâs happy, then heâs happy.

Over at the Baldwinâs, Danny is just finishing his breakfast and assumes that Warren is still in bed, he must be Îcream crackeredâ. Jamie, sitting on the sofa, mutters, ÎYeah, he mustâve been on the pitch all of 10 secondsâ. Frankie comes in then and tells them that Warren was up before all of them and is out running. Just then Warren comes in, and Danny says, ÎWell done! Youâre taking your career seriously.â Jamie is still muttering: ÎCareer? On the subs bench for a minor league team of no Îopers?â Danny tells him that they are celebrating Warren setting out to get somewhere and giving it his best shot, and Jamie should take a leaf out of his book. After Danny leaves, Jamie turns to Warren and says, ÎWell, arenât you Daddyâs little darlinâ!â

At the salon, Audrey has arrived with Gail and is peeved to find that she is there before both Candice and Maria. She grumbles about them, and then tells Gail that her next door neighbour is converting his loft and banging and hammering until midnight. Gail tells her to have a word with them, but Audrey doesnât want to, the wife is expecting their second child and she doesnât want to fall out with them. So Gail invites her to come and stay with them until the job is completed but Audrey declines, she wants peace and quiet, not the adventure playground Gail calls home. Just then, Maria and Candice arrive at 9.05am and Audrey tells them off.

In the factory, Adam has arrived with Mike who tells Danny that Adam wants to make himself useful. Adam tells Danny that he wants to learn how to run a business. Jamie suggests he cleans the place, but Danny wonât give him Jamieâs job. He then asks Adam if he can use a sewing machine, but Adam canât, so Danny decides heâll have to be head of catering and go and get the girls cakes etc. Janice tells Adam that her Great Auntie used to work in a cotton mill and often told her how, when a new lad started, they had his kecks off in no time! Fizz looks up smiling and tells him that those days are now long gone. Sean thinks itâs a shame they lost some wonderful old customs, and he looks Adam up and down as he says this. Adam just raises his eyebrows and smiles.

Violet has visited Eileen in the taxi office, and Eileen is showing Violet the contents of her lunchbox. She tells Violet that Sean makes it for her every day, and has even cut the radishes into flower shapes! ÎDonât you wish that straight men had some of that consideration?â muses Violet, and Eileen knows she is talking about Jason. Just then Patrick hobbles in on a crutch, and tells Eileen heâs reporting for duty. Eileen tells him heâs not fit to drive and asks if he drove there. ÎNo, I hopped on a bus,â retorts Patrick, but heâs adamant that he can take over some shifts on the phone. Just then the phone rings so he takes the call to prove his point. After he puts the phone down Eileen points out that he didnât get the address to send the cab to!

Adam goes to the cafŽ to get the factory girls their cakes. Frankie introduces him to Roy as the Îwhite sheepâ of the Baldwin family. He sees Sarah and Candice sitting with Warren and goes over to say hello. He asks Warren if heâs training today, and then confesses that he doesnât like football, heâs more into ice skating, and he asks Sarah if sheâd like to go with him. She says that she would.

At Davenport Motors, Sally is answering the phone and fending off customers that Ian doesnât want to speak to. Sheâs being really efficient and Ian tells her that sheâs doing a great job. Just then Justine comes in and jokes with Sally about her slave driver of a husband. Ian seems quite irritated at being shown in less than a glowing light, and asks what she wants. It seems that Justine wants money to go out to lunch and get her hair done, and Sallyâs eyes nearly pop out of her head when she sees the wad of cash that Ian hands over. After Justine has gone on her way, Sally comments that sheâs a very lucky woman ö a comment that Ian seems to misconstrue.

Vince goes into Royâs Rolls and helps himself to one of the newspapers that Roy has out for customers, but then allays Royâs fears by ordering a fry up and hence becoming a customer. However, he then sits at a table and starts to tear something out of that newspaper. Poor Roy nearly has apoplexy, rushing over and stuttering that the papers are there for all the customers and that Vince is spoiling the paper for others, and someone may have been interested in that story. Vince tells him itâs an ad, not a story, in fact itâs a coupon for £1 off at another cafŽ, so he promptly cancels his order and departs to get his fry up cheaper elsewhere!

Maria and Candice have gone to the pub in their lunch hour. They stand at the bar, near Fred who is thoughtfully sipping a drink. Betty asks if they want any hotpot, but they tell her theyâre on diets, Betty gets quite irritated to hear this and tells them not to come to her if they feel faint. After sheâs walked off, Maria mutters to Candice that thereâs a lot of grumpy old women about today, and they discuss Audreyâs bad temper and the reason for it. Fred pricks up his ears and listens to all they have to say, then he finishes his drink and goes out.

Jason and Sean come in, and Jason wonders what Violet is doing with her night off. She tells him sheâs going home to her grotty bedsit. Sean then relates various problems heâs had in the past with all the grotty bedsits heâs lived in.

Fred goes over to the salon and wakes Audrey, who is taking a nap on the sofa in her lunch hour. He tells her heâs heard about her noise problem and suggests she spends the evening with him ö he can offer fillet steak and peace and quiet. Audrey then remembers that Ashley, Claire and little Josh are away, and gratefully accepts.

Kevin arrives home early and announces to Sophie (whoâs guinea pig looks very much like a rat to me) that heâs taking her mum out this evening and heâs going to have a bath. Sophie announces that the bathroom is double booked at the present time, and just as Kevin is trying to fathom out what she means, down the stairs and into the room come Rosie and Craig. (I swear that boy grows several inches each episode!) Both of them have newly dyed black hair, hers is long and straight and his is wild and bushy. Both are dressed from head to foot in black, her in a long skirt and him in a t-shirt with ÎPure Evilâ written on the front. Kevin does a double take and asks what Rosie is playing at. She tells him they are Goths, and this is how they are supposed to look. Kevin immediately asks Craig if he put her up to this, and Rosie tells him this is how she wants to look and she can make her own decisions. ÎNot in this house you canât!â explodes Kevin, and orders her to go upstairs and wash the dye out right now. (Silly man ö does he know nothing about dye?) Craig tells him that it wonât wash out for ages, at which point Rosie tells him that they havenât got ages left, theyâre all going to die in March. Kevin rants and raves a bit and tells Rosie that sheâs in trouble and he bets Craig will be too when his dad sees him. The two teenagers then look rather crestfallen. He tells them they look a right mess, at which point Sophie, grinning broadly, informs him that if he thinks they look a mess he ought to see the bathroom!

In the Rovers, Betty is serving hotpots to the factory girls and then turns and asks Shelley if she would like some. Shelley tells Betty not to tempt her as sheâs on a diet. Betty thinks sheâs daft, but Shelley tells her Charlie will be pleased. Betty hopes sheâs not going hungry to please a fella, and tells her to get some hotpot. She tells Shelley that men donât like skinny women. Janice agrees, Les could have had her, but instead chose big, fat Cilla. Sonia asks Shelley if sheâs put any weight on in the past six months and Shelley tells her no, sheâs the same as sheâs always been. Fizz points out that that was what she was like when Charlie first fell for her, and if she goes all thin he might go off her. Shelley looks extremely unsettled at this thought, and goes off to have an apple.

At Davenport Motors, they are finishing up for the day and Ian persuades Sally to stay for an after work drink.

Back at the Rovers, Shelley asks Violet to work later instead of having the evening off, but tells her she can take a couple of hours off if she likes. She tells Jason sheâs got to go home and take her washing to the launderette.

Along the bar, Gail teases her mum about preferring Fredâs company to hers.

In the cafŽ, Vince brings a sheet of crumpled newspaper and hands to it Roy, it is apparently to make up for the page he took the other day. Roy tells him itâs not even the same newspaper, let alone the same page. Vince buys some sandwiches and hands Roy a five pound note. Roy gives him the change, meticulously counting it out before handing it over. Vince then asks for a packet of crisps, and equally meticulously counts out 40p to pay for them.

Jason walks Violet to the bus-stop, wishing they didnât have to say goodnight. He then asks her to leave her bedsit and move in with him.

At the Websters, Rosie is watching tv. Kevin asks her if theyâll let her into school looking like that. Rose says it wonât matter after March 17th. Kevin tells her to stop going on about that, and says that Sally will blow her top when she sees her. Rosie brushes her hair back, looking sulky.

Back at Davenportâs, Ian is singing Sallyâs praises. She tells him she loves the job, itâs made a great difference to her life. Ian then tells her that sheâs the most attractive woman heâs ever met (he must have led a very sheltered life!) and heâs fallen in love with her. Sally just stares at him, dumbfounded··.

Part 2 to follow.

Annie Logan

Welcome to the second episode of Monday night, the first Monday in 2005, in which Fred proposes and someone who isn't Tracy Barlow gets called a slapper.

We begin in Devonports' offices: "This is a joke, isn't it?" Sally is sure Ian can't be serious. "I thought you said you could hold your drink?" He tells her it isn't the booze talking. His marriage is boring, with no passion, and they're just together because of the kids. Sally points out they are both married. Her phone rings and she says it's Kevin and asks for privacy to answer it. It turns out to be Sophie.

At the bus stop, Violet tells Jason his suggestion is very unexpected. He sounds very sincere until he realises she might agree, then he tells her it'll be good having her in the house, because up to now it's been like Todd's territory. "Now I'll have you there." Violet can't believe he just wants her to move in to even things up with his brother. "Get stuffed, Jason," she says, walking off.

Audrey and her staff are locking up the salon. Candice and Maria are grumbling at her about how grumpy she has been all day. She admits it, but says she's missing her sleep. She's looking forward to a night off cooking and a quiet time visiting Fred. "Ooooooh!" say the girls, but Audrey tells them it's strictly platonic. "Fred is not a paramour." Candice is relieved. "I'd rather put up with the noise than have some randy old butcher chasing after me with a marriage proposal." And Audrey seems to have picked up some slang from the girls, judging by her reply: "And you wonder why I'm a dirtbag, huh?" she says to Candice and Maria.

Sally has finished her call (no, we never get to find out what Sophie wanted) and returns to giving Ian the brush-off. "If it was Kevin, he would be racing round her to bounce you off the walls," she tells him. He says he's fallen in love with her and didn't have any option. He can't just forget about it and pretend they are just colleagues and friends. Sally puts her face up close to his and says forcefully: "You haven't tried!"

In the cafe, Jason is getting relationship advice from Charlie, who tells him he needs to back Violet into a corner until she has to move in with him. Leanne is less than impressed. "Have we got any raw mince for these alpha males?" she asks Roy. Charlie has an order for the builders who will be working late putting Dev's shop back together. Roy cross-examines him about it. Who will be picking up the order? Charlie can't say. As the builders leave, Vince gives Roy a steady glare. At one of the tables, Sarah and Candice are teasing Warren and Adam about their accents, pretending they have to translate everything the boys say.

At the Websters', Sophie is saying she thinks her Mum will be all right about the dyed hair. She's always going on about self expression. Rosie is playing the dismissive older sister. "Talk to the hand," she tells Sophie. Kevin comes in with his rubber gloves on and says the bathroom now looks less like an abattoir for bats. "Funny, Dad," says Sophie. "Well, for you anyway!"

In the cafe, Roy is bothering Leanne about the sandwich order for the builders. "They're sandwiches, Roy," she says. "There's not much that can go wrong." Roy says she wouldn't say that if she was a health inspector. "Well, I'm not. I'm a kitchen skivvy going as fast as she can," she retorts. The sandwiches are finished, she announces. "Plenty of time for them to curl up just the way you like them." Hayley is on her way out. "And Roy, no more signs, eh?" she says. Roy tells her the signs are there for a very good reason.

Over in the butchers' bothy, Audrey has told Fred what the girls had been saying. She says tongues will be wagging about his honourable intentions. After all, he does has form as a serial proposer. Fred says that's all behind him. "Life's bitter pill swallowed, digested." But there is a proposal he wants to make: An unusually ample gin and tonic. Audrey is quick to accept. "I further propose that you compose yourself for one of the finest stand-out meals of your life." He tells Audrey he could use hyperbole (he pronounces it hyper-bol) and talk about angels dancing on her tongue, but he means steak -- finest fillet steak.

Sally is home and Sophie can't resist the old "Have we got a surprise for you" line. Then Sally spots Rosie and flies into an incredible rage. "What have you done? And what's that on your face? You look ridiculous!" Then she flies at Rosie, attempting to scrub the make-up from her face. She's hurting Rosie and Kev has to drag her off. Sally is distraught. "Everything I do is for you -- everything! And this is how you repay me, you ungrateful slapper!"

In the bedroom, Sally knows she has over-reacted and blames it on stress. Kevin can't understand what stress she might have. Sally still wants to go out, though Kevin would be happy with a plate of chips at home (What? No beans or fish fingers?). But she says her boss has gone to the trouble of booking it and she thinks they need to talk. This worries Kevin until she says she means chat, have a laugh. Rosie isn't amused, though. She comes into the room and Sally tries to give her a hug. "Get off me, you psycho!" screeches Rosie, shrugging her off.

Out in the street, the builders are examining plans for the shop when Roy arrives with their order. As he hands Vince his coffee, it's spilt. And when Charlie tells Roy to give the change to Vince, it gets dropped. Vince just stands there while Roy grovels around picking it up. He tells Vince there seems to be a pound missing and Vince replies that he'll pick it up next time he's in. As Roy walks away, Vince takes his foot off the pound coin.

In the pub, Violet is getting relationship advice from Sean. He tells her he knows she's just being Cathy Cautious, but she must realise she was never going to get a flowery speech from Jason. "That's just Jason's gruff, manly way. He's hardly going to ask you in rhyming couplets, is he?" Violet finds herself defending Jason. "He can be romantic." Sean says she could be subtle and drop hints about Jason asking her again, but the best thing would be just to tell him to ask her again. "That's the only way I got him to stop using my toothbrush."

Adam and Sarah come in. They're just back from skating. They sit with Warren and Candice. Warren says it's a shame Adam has to go back to school. They talk about how he doesn't know what he wants to do after that. "It's all right for you," Adam tells Sarah. "You're in line for Granny's hairdressers'." Candice reacts as if she's just been shot. Sarah hastily insists nothing's decided yet.

At Fred's, Audrey says "Listen to that." Fred can't hear anything, which is her point. He says it's a quiet night for traffic. "It can be like a cobbled M6 on a bad day." He says the lad next door (Craig?) has started playing his music very loudly. It seems like that's the thing to do when you hit puberty. "Day one, get spots. Day two, turn the stereo up." He thinks it must be more difficult to be a young person today. In their day, they just had to part their hair on a different side to be considered a rebel. Now, with tattoos, studs, hair colours, etc, "there's cheap rebellion everywhere you look." He thinks he and Audrey sound like a couple of old pals chewing the fat. Audrey corrects him. "A couple of old PEOPLE chewing the fat." "Do we?" asks Fred. "I thought you'd come to cheer me up."

In the cafe, Leanne is just leaving when Vince arrives. He says he thought Roy was going to bring around that pound. (Liar!) He stands in one place and makes Roy go all the way over to the till, fetch the pound and walk all the way back to Vince. Things can't get much more tense when Hayley comes back in and Vince leaves. She's very annoyed when she notices there is a new sign. This one seems to say not to deface or remove the newspapers.

In a restaurant, Sally seems very tense. Kevin is impressed that Ian has laid on champagne for them, though he can hardly wait to order a beer. He tells Sally they've never had it so good -- good restaurants, a good income, their family. He proposes a toast, but when Sally hears him add Ian to the list of good things she rushes off to the loo.

Fred is reflecting on being old but not knowing where the years went. Audrey tells him he's barely past retirement age, but he insists that's still not young. When he was young, he remembers working out how old he would be in the year 2000 and thinking it seemed so old he would never make it (sigh. . . me too). Audrey tells him not to get maudlin, but Fred is on a roll. He also never imagined he would get old without a life partner. "You were there for Alf, but who's going to be there for us?" Audrey suggests she stay the night in Ashley's room. "We might as well give them flapping tongues some ammunition."

In the pub, Jason has come to see Violet with a violet (a huge one) and a violet cream. "An old lady's sweet for an old fashioned name." Violet unwraps the sweet, to discover the wrapper says "I love yo". "I didn't have room to write you," Jason explains. He asks Violet again to live with him. This time, she tells him she'll think about it.

At the restaurant, Kevin feels like a millionaire. Sally is anxious to find out what he would think if they had to go back to the way things were. "You've not been sacked!??" No, she hasn't, she says. But she's got something she has to tell him. "I knew it," he says. "You've only been half here all night." But as Sally opens her mouth, she loses her nerve. "I really do love you, you know. I love you and I love our life."

The End.

Margaret Carr

Good evening. Back on stand in duties for this week so I hope that this will appear only slightly out of sequence in your in tray as I see Duncan has already beaten me with the Sunday evening episode.

Anyway Friday was written by Chris Parker and directed by Colin Cant whilst copyright remains with ITV and sponsorship was courtesy Cadburys.

The Websters are at breakfast. Allegedly Sally knows Dracula - well the person who plays Dracula at the Museum in Whitby. And Sophie and Rosie are turning into a nice double act. Kevin and Sally are being lovey-dovey and until goth daughter, Rosie, is caught with a temporary tattoo. Voices are raised.

Tommy is similarly un-impressed by Craig who has painted nails. Craig is told to get upstairs and stop being pansified. Voices are raised. He pops round to have a go at Sally about the gender bending which is happening. Sally defends Rosie. In the background Rosie and Craig are agreeing to do "it" later - and if he won't she will with someone else. Looks like she might be about to lose her cherry. 4:30 = be there.

Ken approaches Mike about Adam's higher education - but no-one seems interested - least of all Adam who is off to watch Warren training.

Hayley is off to work. She is worried about what is wrong with Roy - she cannot get it out of him. Why is steamed up about such trivia? Roy is worried that this cafe might be his entire life.

Justine is trying a tie out on Ian - Sally agrees the tie would look nice. Justine suggests trying to find a quiz night the next time they all go out together. Sally agrees a little reluctantly.

Hayley has returned to the caff to collect the factory order. Roy starts using long words to express his kingdom and how he wants to share it with her. Whilst Vince is smoking in the background. Hayley tells Roy to be firm and polite. Vince says no need and he departs still smoking. Hayley is sure Vince will respect him. Vince has left his mobile on the table.

Ian comes to find Sally - she admits she felt awkward earlier and he is not going waste time wishing things were different. Now he wants a catch up after work - nothing sinister - he merely wants to make sure he is on top of the figures. {OK, I will come clean - what is going on here? Wife and I reckon that Sally is the fall girl for the business having been ripped off - but surely it is not that complicated?}

After the break we find Craig and Rosie sitting in a tattoo parlour - he is going to have his tongue pierced. She is not bothered - a few seconds of pain and they have it for the rest of theirs lives. And kissing with pierced tongues it is mind-blowing. Craig goes first.

Hayley asks why Roy has not returned the mobile. He simply has not had the time. Roy believes it was left deliberately. He reckons it is like the wooden horse of Troy. Hayley reckons he is making far too much of it and she sends him off to return it. He finds Charlie who calls Vince and returns the phone. Vince thanks him - and offers to buy a drink if they are in the Rovers.

Candice and Warren run into each other outside the salon and kiss. Ken is walking past and asks after Adam - whereabouts not known.

Craig emerges - he points at his tongue - it really hurts he says. Turns out the Rosie did not feel up to having her tongue pierced - and Craig's tongue is swelling up.

Sally and Ian are discussing the sale of a top of the range model. They share a congratulatory drink. He flatters her skills - he reckons it is making his job easier. He decides he does not want to go through the figures. And he has four new cars coming in during the week. And nothing else is going to happen. (So what is his game?).

Danny and Mike are discussing Warren in front of Adam - hard work is the key to success. Danny holds Mike up as an example of success. Frankie joins the group.

Rosie is inspecting Craig's tongue - it looks a real mess. Sally arrives - a little surprised to see Craig - who avoids speaking in front of Sally - turns out they are having sirloin steak for tea!!

Candice is dressed up in not very much whilst Sarah is dressed up for Adam who reckons she is looking good. Turns out that they are not going to a footy do - they are actually going into the Rovers -Adam promises Sarah chips on the way home.

Craig cannot eat his fish for dinner whilst Tommy takes the mickey. Tommy wants to know why Craig sounds like a corpse as well as looking like one! Tommy reckons the cat must have Craig's tongue - and has a pop at Rosie. Craig speaks - it is not her fault. Both parents spot the piercing and Craig calls them "pathetic".

Sally and Gail are looking at Bethany's work. Sally tells Gail about Ian's declaration. Sally says he has been told no. She simply says that she felt flattered - she loves Kevin and is happier now than ever. However as Gail says it is not her she has to convince.

Not a great evening. But nothing really bad and a nice mix of events including the younger generation. And when I work out just what Ian is after I will be a lot happier!

Back next week.

K Richard W

A great episode ahead tonight, from our friendly neighbourhood goth to our unfriendly neighbourhood bully pushing our friendly neighbourhood cafe owner to the edge; all reported by your friendly neighbourhood Corrie updater. :)

If you were to watch the first and last five minutes on their own, you would wonder how Roy could have such a dramatic fall in the space of half an hour because we open to see him bouncing jovially to some music in the cafe. He is genuinely very relieved that his bullying business is over, so much so that he even makes a stab at a joke. Albeit a very bad one, but this is Roy here. He's making an effort at least!

Meanwhile, Rosie continues her cunning campaign to turn her whole family into goths by pasting Sophie's face with black make up. Yes, it's another family scene at the Webster household. Sally is ironing, Kevin is fixing a Cd player and we have two "devil worshipping freaks" at the middle table. Sophie is wondering why Sally is so distant but she replies that she is being philosophical and thinking about the meaning of life.

Over to goth house number two and music is blaring from Craig's room as Hayley comes round to make some very un-gothic curtains for the lad. Tommy stomps upstairs to turn the music off. he rages back down, telling Angela he'll be having 'words' (words in Tommy language is 'to knock seven bells out of' in English) with the tatooist who gave Craig his piercing.

It's another football Sunday and Warren isn't hungover this time and he's raring to go. Jamie mocks him but Adam is convinced he'll get a chance to play.

Roy is sweeping outside and is nonplussed about seeing Vince. That is, until he steps on his brush and accuses him of using 47p of his mobile phone credit. Roy denies it but Vince warns him that attempting to get one over on him is a big mistake

Mike is trying on a bobble hat in the pub. They realise it's time to head off for the match.

Across the bar, Tyrone is going on about piercings and Kevin comments that he made Rosie take her belly button one out. Tommy sees this as a dig at his fathering skills and stomps out.

Frankie is searching for her lip gloss in the cafe. Vince comes in and sits down with his own sandwich as Roy hands over the money for the phone credit. Frankie sees that Vince is eating his own food and throws him out, making Roy feel very uncomfortable indeed.

Over at the Harris household, Katy is watching TV. Craig comes in to the house after calling to see Rosie. Tommy has a rant at him. Hayley asks what being a goth is about and as Craig answers, Angela walks away. Cue Tommy's accusations about her letting the kids get away with anything. When Angela retaliates with a jibe over his fathering skills, an angry Tommy drags Craig out to the car.

In the cafe, Rosie is telling Sophie how hard it is to be a goth. Rosie gets some cheap chocolate out (what would Sally say!? It should be galaxy, young lady! You look like a tramp!) and Roy comes over and confiscates it as it hasn't been bought on the premises. He then proceeds to throw the girls out, with the threat that Sally wouldn't be happy emanating from Rosie. If Roy thought Vince was bad, crossing Sally could open his eyes a bit!

The football gang arrive back, Warren having won man of the match. Candice is dressed in a Footballer's Wives style leather suit, to the amusement of many onlookers.

There's a lady with a puppy in the cafe and Roy is not best pleased that Hayley permitted it. Sally then rages in, angry with what Roy did to Rosie and Sophie. She calls him a bully and he storms off, leaving hayley and Sally quite shocked.

In the car outside the tatooists, Tommy is telling Craig that he shows him up. Craig begs Tommy not to get into a fight, even telling him he'll stop being a goth. Tommy relents, asking if Craig is embarrassed by him. Craig mumbles a very unconvincing no. Tommy decides that his fisticuffs will have to happen another night.

Warren asks Candice for a kiss, but she can't as she has had a face mask sprayed on. Warren is disgruntled.

Fred and Audrey are doing the dishes and holding a deep conversation about a towel. It emerges that Fred is actually really lonely and he hopes that Audrey won't stop visiting him

Tommy is telling Angela that violence isn't the answer so she starts reminding him of past offences he's made with his fists. When Craig comes downstairs, they turn their attention on him, joking and laughing about him.

Roy and Hayley are sharing a tense meal. When Roy spits something out, hayley snatches the meal away and heads for bed. Roy asks her to stay. She pleads with him to tell her what's going on. Roy confesses he was bullied badly when he was younger by a vicar's son who force fed him unpleasant materials and even made him wet himself. he also did other things that made him uncomfortable but that he doesn't want to tell hayley. He gets increasingly upset saying he deserves it and he tells Hayley that Vince has victimised him and is putting him through hell. Hayley takes control at this point and tells Roy what a wonderful man he is and that they will sort the situation out together. With this, our remarkable couple look into eachother's eyes, hoping that everything will work out all right...

So what have we learned from tonight's episode?
-It's bad luck to count your chickens so all you farmers out there--DON'T!
-Jamie wants a bobble hat
-There's a mobile phone fairy
-It costs fees to drop out of school, according to Mike
-Tyrone's uncle Eric had everything pierced
-Hayley's not a lip gloss sort of person
-Vince takes 3 sugars in his tea
-Frankie has lucky lip gloss
-Being a goth is like dancing as the walls crumble around you.
-The football gang went to the match in an Underworld van
-Coronation Street is a far cry from France
-Audrey has a cartoon pig on her apron
-There's a charity shop on Balaclava Terrace
-Angela once stole a fish cake
-Rosie is Craig's companion in darkness

Awards
-Worst case of pot calling the kettle black: "You are acting a bit weird" Rosie to Sally
-Advice most needed: "Take a chill pill" Craig to Tommy
-Biggest achievement: "I went out with a girl once" Tyrone
-Most arguable statement: "I deserve some respect" Tommy
-Second most arguable statement: 'I'm not a freak show." Craig
-Hope least likely to be fulfilled: "Don't do anything stupid." Craig to Tommy
-Most laughable statement: "I'm not a violent person" Tommy

Well that's it for this Sunday. Keep watching the Street for more developments...it's going to get really good!

Until next Sunday

Duncan Lindsay

Welcome to Mondayâs first episode, which starts and ends with Roy experiencing a whole spectrum of emotions.

So we begin in the cafŽ, where Roy is frantically rubbing at the glass fronted cabinet. Hayley stands a little way off, telling him itâs fine and the whole place is spotless. She tells him sheâs worried about him and tells him that he has to stand up to Vince.

Itâs breakfast at the Harrisâs, and Tommy picks up the morning post. He opens a black envelope thatâs addressed to Craig. Angela starts to protest but Tommy reckons they need to know what Craig is up to. Inside the envelope are two tickets to a concert, ÎStench of Deathâ who are Îalmost liveâ at Manchester Apollo. Craig comes in and tries to snatch the tickets from Tommy, but Tommy just snatches them right back and tells him heâs not going to allow him to wander round the city centre late at night. Craig tells him that one of those tickets is Rosieâs, so he canât take both of them. Angie tells Craig that his dad is just worried about him, but Craig tells her that heâs done everything his dad asked, got rid of the piercing, took off the nail varnish, but still nothingâs good enough!

Over at the pub, Shelley and Charlie are having breakfast. Sheâs eating a grapefruit and wincing. Betty comes in with a bacon buttie, but Charlie has Shelleyâs and goes off to work.

Katy and Martin are coming out of their flat, although Katy would rather stay in bed. Martin tells her sheâs got to do her exam, and says he will buy her a chocolate bar to keep her concentration up if her blood sugar level drops.

Over at the garage, Tommy asks Kevin if he knew the kids were planning to go to the gig. Kevin tells him that he said that Rosie could go if she was with Craig. Tommy says that Craig will not be going, but Kevin thinks it will be all right if they drop them off and then pick them up again afterwards. ÎNo chance!â says Tommy, but Kevin points out that if they come down too hard Rosie and Craig will only sneak off behind their backs, ÎYou know what kids are like,â he tells Tommy. At that moment Tommy turns round and sees Katy waving at him as she gets into Martinâs car.

Hayley comes into the cafŽ and finds Vera arguing with Leanne. She is told that Roy is upstairs, although Vera wants him to come down, she says heâs been skiving all morning.

Candice and Sarah are at a table. Candice is prattling nineteen to the dozen about Warrenâs talent on the football field while Sarah looks as if in her head sheâs miles away.

Hayley has gone up to find Roy, and he tells her his ambition was to be a librarian, not at the front desk but buried deep in the archive, classifying. Hayley tells him he loves the cafŽ, and he agrees, when he was invisible, peripheral, but now suddenly the light is on him and heâs visible, laughable, ridiculous. Hayley tells him heâs letting Vince win, and he admits that now the click of the door fills him with dread. Hayley assures him that people round there respect him and no one would want him feeling like this. Roy says heâd like to lie down for a couple of hours, but Hayley tells him sheâll make him some dinner.

Downstairs, Vera is serving Blanche who wonders if sheâll be allowed to put her own sweetners in her beverage, as she doesnât want to be thrown out into the street. Vera tells her to live dangerously. Blanche then thinks about ordering something to fill herself up with, before they all go for pizza. Then she overhears Sarah tell Candice that sheâs going to get ready for Adam, so she tells her that Adamâs busy, itâs a family do, Ken is treating them to pizza before Adam goes back to school. Sarah says sheâs going too, as Adamâs guest.

The family arrive at the pizza restaurant to find Wanda already there, sitting waiting for them. ÎWhoâs she?â asks Adam. ÎMe dadâs fancy piece!â Tracy informs him.

Back in the cafŽ, Rosie is repainting Craigâs nails. Craig reckons heâs going to keep it on at home from now on, and may even get another piercing. Rosie wonders why people think theyâre strange when thereâs people like Roy Cropper about. She thinks Roy should give them free meals for life ö whatâs left of it.

Hayley comes down from upstairs, and tells Vera that Roy isnât feeling well. Leanne wonders if heâs writing more signs, and cheekily starts reciting·âPatrons must queue in straight lines·.â Hayley gets very cross and snaps at her that if she has a problem with it she should look for work elsewhere. She stomps out into the street and sees Vince and Jason across the road. She goes over and tells Vince that he should be ashamed of himself, heâs nothing but a twisted, schoolyard bully and heâs barred from the cafŽ.

At the pizza place, Ken makes a toast to Adam and tells him that choosing to do another two years at school will benefit him for the rest of his life. Wanda, who is getting drunker by the minute, wonders if thereâll be house space when Adam has gone to school. ÎHardly!â mutters Tracy.

Angela and Janice are in the pub, talking about Tommyâs hard line with Craig and how when Ange met him he was a punk! Janice has an idea ö theyâre going shopping! Just then Shelley arrives at their table with two hotpots they ordered. Janice cancels them and Shelley wonders what to do with them, despite being told to eat them by Violet. She decides to save them for Charlie and Jason.

Katy and Martin come into the pub just as Angie and Janice are leaving. Angie asks how she got on with her exam. ÎJust make sure itâs you and not me that tells me dad I failed,â says Katy.

Roy goes across to the garage to see Kevin, who is cross about Rosie and Sophie being kicked out of the cafŽ. Roy explains that heâs been under the weather and tries to apologise. Kevin reckons his daughters need more than a sorry and Roy promises that if they come to the cafŽ they will be recompensed in kind.

In the back room Charlie comes in and sees Shelley with one of the hotpots. He accuses her of planning to eat it, and then tells her that heâs got her a pressie ö gym memberships. ÎGym?â Shelley sounds less than thrilled. Charlie says he thought it would be something they could do together, and heâs booked their induction for this afternoon.

Angie and Janice are back from their shopping trip, and come furtively out of the factory. They ask Kevin where Tommy is and he tells them heâs nipped to the shop. They run into the garage clutching bags.

The Barlow party has arrived home, and to Kenâs dismay Adam asks Wanda if sheâs coming in for a bit. Tracy decides sheâll go and collect Amy from Emily, and she may be some time.

Tyrone and Tommy come out of the Kabin and hear the sounds of an old punk song. Out of the garage come Angela and Janice, wearing mohican wigs. Angela announces, ÎQueens Hall, Leeds, 1979, Futurama Festival.â Janice tells Tyrone that 15 year old Tommy Harris sneaked out of his bedroom window so that his mum and dad wouldnât know where he was going.

Roy is very worried when Jason wanders into the cafŽ, but is relieved to see that it is Violet who comes in just behind him. However, sheâs only come for a cake and the dreaded Vince comes in behind him. He immediately starts making fun of Roy.

Shelley and Charlie are back from the gym, he comments on her buying sportswear, but she tells him she wants to look the part. He tells her she does, and she will look even more the part when the lycra gets less stretched.

Rosie and Craig are sitting on Maxineâs bench, discussing how they can tell it is for someone who died, and how it has a darker vibe. Just then Tommy comes along and gives Craig back the concert tickets. He tells Rosie that Roy has some freebies for her and sends her away, while he has a quiet word with Craig. He tells his son that he wants to trust him, that this is a try out, and not to let him down. Craig promises he wonât. As Tommy walks away he asks, ÎDad? Can I have a bat for a pet?â

In the cafŽ, Rosie is expecting her freebies, but Roy is busy trying to serve Weatherfieldâs two most difficult customers, Les and Vince. Because the service isnât quick enough Vince gets his sandwiches out and offers the round. Roy becomes extremely agitated and tells them heâll confiscate them. He tries to take them but accidentally puts the frying pan heâs holding through the glass fronted cabinet. He then gets on the phone to the police, much to the amusement of all the customers, who all laugh at him. Poor Roy then kicks them all out.

Tracy comes back to the Barlowâs. ÎIs it safe?â she asks, putting her head round the door. Deirdre tells her that Ken has taken Wanda home and Blanche is sulking because they wouldnât let her stay. Adam thinks Wanda is a great laugh.

At the cafŽ, Roy is breathing in and out of a paper bag. He then picks up the phone rings the police. He tells them he needs to report a man who refuses to adhere to establishment rules.

More in episode 2.......

Annie Logan

Here is the second episode from Monday, January 10.

Charlie arrives at the yard to find the mess that Vince left there. "Did you hire in a tipper and dump this over the fence?" he asks Jason. Jason tells him it was Vince, but Charlie tells him he's not knocking off until it's been cleared up. Jason notices the police car over at the cafe. Charlie asks where Vince is anyway. "He's got to start pulling his weight." Chesney is in the street and has also noticed it. He's shooting at it, diving for cover, ducking down behind bins and peering out at it, gun at the ready. Though, of course, he's using his imagination rather than a real gun. Hayley comes clip-clip-clopping along and meets Ashley and Claire, just arrived back from their honeymoon. She welcomes them, before Fred comes and booms his own welcome at them. Hayley is then stopped by Chesney, who warns her to watch out "or they'll have you." "Who?" she asks. "The murder squad," he says, pointing out the police car. This really panics Hayley, who rushes towards the cafe.

In the cafe, Roy is explaining just what Vince has been up to. The policeman, who seems to think he's a bit of a wag, is making a big show of taking down Roy's complaint. "Unauthorised use of salt. Ah, I wrote 'assault' there -- force of habit." He's just asking Roy is there has been any force used when Hayley rushes in in a bit of a panic. "What's happened?" The cafe looks as if a hurricane has been through, but Roy tells her he did that.

The policeman asks if Roy has talked to Vince about what's upsetting him. He suggests Roy might have a quiet talk to Vince away from the cafe. "I imagine you get a number of proprietors contacting you over similar kinds of disputes," Roy says. "Er, not usually before there's been a scrap," says the policeman. He doesn't think Roy looks like the fisticuffs type. Roy points out that the adherence to laws and codes of behaviour is what prevents society breaking down into anarchy. "Surely you, as a law enforcement officer, understand that?" "I get the picture," says the copper. "I'll have a word." "A word?" asks Roy, obviously expecting Vince to be clapped in irons and transported to the furthermost reaches of the Empire. "I'll tell him the world is teetering on anarchy and he's responsible," says the policeman.

In the Eliot household, Claire is still feeling the effects of travel sickness and is lying on the sofa. Fred is trying to sneak out and leave them on their own, but Ashley stops him. They've brought him back a present. It's a HUGE book of beef recipes! They've worked out that if Fred cooks them one recipe a month, they'll be in their forties by the time he gets through them all. Actually, the book was so big I'd say Joshua would be in his forties by the time Fred gets through it. Fred says that'll be "if I'm still here." Ashley reassures him that they've discussed it and Fred is welcome to live with them as long as he wants. Fred is a bit put out by this -- he meant he might be dead by the time they're in their forties. He's quite disconcerted to realise they talked about the possibility of him NOT living with them.

In the cafe, Hayley is telling off Roy for not saying Vince was aggressive. Roy said he didn't want to exaggerate things. "And saying the whole civilised world is about to come crashing down wasn't exaggerating?" asks Hayley. Hayley tells him that Vince has intimidated him, reduced him to tears and made him feel at odds at his regulars. He might not have hit Roy over the head with a baseball bat, but the effect was the same. She tells Roy that when she saw the police car she feared he'd tried to kill himself again. Roy says he may be down, but he's not stupid, or selfish, or cruel or careless. He promises Hayley he'll never try that again. He asks Hayley for some time on his own. Fizz comes in ready to whisk Hayley off to Sonia's new flat for a meal. Roy tells Hayley to go and she goes off with Fizz.

Fred and Ashley are talking about things. Ashley can't wait for Claire to move in properly. He tells his Dad about standing on a balcony in Paris and telling Maxine that he loved her but also loved Claire. He felt sad about Maxine, but has stopped feeling guilty. Fred tells him he's lucky to have struck gold twice.

Charlie comes into the back room and calls Shelley a slacker for not being up burning off some calories. He suggests a way of burning off some more (involving candles and massage oil), but Shelley just wants to stay on the sofa. She feels as if she's been in the boxing ring with Mike Tyson. She pushes Charlie away, then Violet comes in and Shelley has to go and sort out something in the bar. "Oh, so it's just me you're too tired for," he comments.

Adam and Sarah are sitting on a bench outside and Danny and Warren come over. They give Adam a gift. He opens it and it's one football boot. "Better one magic one than two tragic ones," they tell him. "Ah," says Adam. "I think I know what my grandad's gift is now." Chesney and Kirk are also out in the street. Ches wants Kirk to tell him what the police car is there for. "Why would they be there unless it was a murder." Kirk suggests maybe it's for an illegal sandwich -- a sandwich made out of a poorly eagle! The policeman and Vince are chatting and are laughing. The policeman waves Roy over. Vince proceeds to give Roy a fulsome and totally overblown apology. Then he wants Roy to shake his hand. Roy goes back into the cafe and shuts the door behind him. Outside, we can hear Vince and the copper laughing.

Adam goes into the pub where his grandad (Ken) gives him a gift which is just about the right size to contain a single boot. He opens it eagerly, saying he wants to take it to the Red Rec, which startles Ken somewhat. Oh, it's a dictionary. "And thesaurus!" Ken points out. He tells Adam one good dictionary is all he'll ever need. Which isn't true, of course. Deidre tells Ken she's sure Adam will appreciate it once he's back at school. Fred is talking to Audrey. He says that while Ashley and Claire were away, he felt in command of things, able to do what he wanted in the house. Now, he feels like an old grandad propped up in a corner. "What I am trying to say is you never know what it's like to be empty until you're reminded what it's like to be full," he says. He tells Audrey that the two of them got along really well together, and she tells him that's because they are two old friends. She says that sort of friendship is important and Fred will just have to learn to set aside time for those sorts of relationships.

Meanwhile, over at his house, Claire has found an earring down the back of the sofa. She shows it to Ashley, whose reaction is: "Oh, no, not again!"

Over at the cafe, Vince forces his way in, despite Roy saying it is closed. He picks up a salt cellar and empties it on the floor. "I've been more than tolerant with you," Vince tells Roy. He demands a full English breakfast, without the black pudding. Roy tells him he's trespassing. Vince suggests he call back the policeman. The copper joined the police after watching the Sweeney, he says, but now he feels like Postman Pat. Vince warns Roy that if Hayley comes round again she might catch him on a bad day. He hints that Hayley was lucky there wasn't an accident last time she came round the yard. Roy goes to cook the food and Vince says: "Oh, I'm going to need a new salt pot."

Out in the street, Ashley has carried Claire out of the house so he can carry her back in over the threshhold -- by slinging her over his shoulder.

Deirdre is in the pub when Bev rings her on her mobile. Deirdre sounds a bit fed up, because Bev is being quite demanding. "No, I really don't have anything to report," Deirdre tells her. "I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be looking for," she tells Ken when the call ends. Mike comes in and they sort out that Ken is running Adam to the station. Charlie comes back late and says he had a drink at the Flying Horse, but won't say who with. He turns it back on Shelley. "Why would I want anyone else?" Charlie asks. "I get everything I want here -- mostly."

In the street, Hayley and Fizz have returned and Fizz is wondering what's on Hayley's mind. The Barlows are loading Adam's luggage into Ken's car when Mike gives him the other half of the pair of boots. Tracy brings out "a little bit of light reading for the journey" -- he's left the dictionary behind. As the car goes, Audrey says to Sarah she thinks someone's taken a bit of a shine to her. "Is it mutual." Sarah says it was nice to have someone to hang round with like a normal teenager. Audrey asks how Bethany looks in her new school uniform.

Vince is sure Roy has given him eggs cooked the wrong way. He wants Roy to re-do them, but Roy refuses, so he gets an egg dropped on his shoe. Vince pushes Roy and tries to drag him upright, but Roy is cowering. Vince shoves him again and Charlie comes in. Vince laughs and tells him Roy slipped on some oil. "He's fine, aren't you, Roy," Vince says. But Roy says he is not. "Have you got a rule about spilt oil?" Vince asks, telling Charlie Roy has a rule for everything else.

Charlie is really quite wonderful in this next bit -- if only he was like this all the time. He sits Roy down and very quietly and caringly asks him if he wants Vince thrown out. Then he manhandles Vince out of the cafe, telling him not to bother turning up for work tomorrow. Hayley comes back in time to witness this. Vince says it's nothing to do with Charlie, so Charlie slugs him one. "Is it to do with me now," he asks. Vince claims someone else has offered him work anyway and heads off down the street. Roy is at the cafe door and hears Charlie mutter after Vince: "Waste of space." And as Hayley and Fizz anxiously ask him if everything is OK, all he can do is repeat "Waste of space. Yes. Waste of space."

The end.

Margaret Carr

Written by: Damon Rochefort
Directed by: Kay Patrick

Breakfast time at the Websterâs, and Kevin and Sally have a surprise for the girls ö theyâre planning a holiday to Spain. Sophie is really excited, but Rosie canât see the sense in making long-term plans, as the world is due to end on March 17th anyway. Sophie, who has a wise head on young shoulders, is of the opinion that Rosieâs favourite Goth bands are only using this as a way of selling more CDâs to idiots like Rosie and Craig. Kevin asks Rosie exactly how she thinks the world is going to end. ãYouâre just taking the mick,ä she says, and flounces off. Sophie proves that, as well as being wise, she is also on top of latest trends by announcing that when she grows up, she and Chesney are going to be chavs.*

Itâs Bethanyâs first day at school, and she comes downstairs looking adorable (hair in bunches, red cardigan, white blouse, dark skirt). Audrey, Gail and Sarah are all assembled to admire her ö four generations of the same family, bless them. Gail and Sarah are all emotional.

Itâs nearly 8am, and Hayley is concerned to see that Roy isnât dressed yet. He canât face the cafŽ after all thatâs happened. Hayley points out that Vince is off the scene, and Roy says he must thank Charlie for stepping in when he couldnât cope. Clearly his pride has been badly wounded. ãAt least all our customers now know what a pathetic creature I am that I need other people to fight my battles for me,ä he says.

Ashley and Claire are talking about the mysterious earring they found down the side of the sofa. Ashley is worried about Fred, and wonders why he hasnât said anything if heâs got a new lady friend. When Fred comes downstairs, Ashley starts talking about Paris, and Fred says he might go back there himself when the weather improves. He starts singing ãI love Paris in the springtime.ä Ashley thinks this is a bad sign ö Fred is in a mood for romance.

At Davenportâs car showroom, Sally is complaining to Ian that the customers are taking advantage of the cappuccino machine. Ian invites her to come with him to a conference in Birmingham, ãtop hotel, all expenses paid.ä She hesitates and he assures her itâll all be above board, but she doesnât think itâs a good idea.

Hayley has been organising the cafŽ with Vera, and comes up to see how Roy is. Heâs going on about how he gets intimidated by gangs of youths outside the fish & chip shop; the youths pick on him, he says, which they would never do to Tommy or Kevin for example. ãThere must be something in me that alerts them to my weakness,ä he says. Hayleyâs response is that theyâve both had hard lives and have learned that you have to take what life throws at you: ãYou and I are not victims. Weâve taken too much abuse to even think about caving in to anybody.ä She tells him to get dressed, go down to the cafŽ and make her proud.

In the Rovers Steve refuses Tracyâs offer of a drink, and leaves as quickly as possible.

Sarah is attempting to explain the joy and pain of motherhood to Candice, who is less than sympathetic: ãFirst day at school, looking cute in her uniform, everybody crying. Yeah, I get it. So ö about you and Adam? Itâs obvious he fancies you rotten!ä Sarah rolls her eyes.

Ian is telling Kevin that Sally is worth her weight in gold, and how marvellously sheâs reorganised the business. He then asks Kevin if itâs true that he and Sally have been married twice. Kevinâs not going to be drawn on that, and changes the subject to the holiday in Spain. Ian looks thoughtful.

Charlie tells Shelley he wonât be able to come to the gym as heâs got work to do. She says sheâll go on her own, because she canât wait for him to see her in that dress, and once she sets her mind to something she doesnât give up.

Mike is enjoying a soothing drink, but his relaxation is shortlived when he is joined by Adam ö who is meant to be at school in Scotland. The lure of Weatherfield has proved too strong for him. Mike and Adam leave, watched by Sarah and Candice, who says, ãHeâs back! And we all know why, donât we?ä

To Davenportâs now, where Justine arrives laden with designer shopping bags. Sally tells her Ian is out till after lunch. Justine says she hardly sees him these days, and tells Sally how the two of them worked hard togteher to build up the business ö she even helped with washing the cars. ãMust be nice to be a lady of leisure now though,ä observes Sally, though Justine says itâs not that much fun. Sally tells her about the girlsâ reaction to the holiday plan, and how Rosie pretended not to be excited. ãYou got the Goth reaction, did you?ä Justine asks. ãLots of sighing and a face like a yard of gravy?ä She says that the nice thing about Kevin and Sallyâs relationship is that they seem to be good mates, whereas she and Ian have lost that bit. Sallyâs uncomfortable about hearing intimate details of Justine and Ianâs life, and she tries to change the subject, joking that she shouldnât be gossiping about the boss. ãYou may be on his payroll, but youâre my mate, right?ä Justine reminds her.

Roy appears in the cafŽ, aproned up and ready for action ö or is he? The sight of a room full of customers seems to fill him with some trepidation, but he tries to get on with it anyway, watched by a concerned Hayley.

A family conference is in progress at the Barlowâs, with Mike holding forth to Ken, Blanche and Adam about the school being negligent in letting Adam just walk out. Adam says he told the school there was a family crisis, and that they know where he is. Mike has to leave to go to a meeting, leaving Ken to deliver the ãIâm surprised at you, Adamä speech. ãGive it a rest, Mr Chips,ä says Blanche, ãThe ladâs probably starving.ä She sends Adam to the kitchen to put a pan on for a nice bit of poached haddock, and tells Ken to go easy on him, because all he wants is his family.

Ian, who seems to divide his time equally between Kevin and Sally (no wonder Justine never sees him) is now back at the car showroom. He mentions Sallyâs holiday, and has a very thoughtful moment when she says sheâs been window shopping for bikinis already ö a picture is obviously forming in his mind!

In the butcherâs. Blanche is buying ãsomething specialä for Adamâs tea, in the form of a meat-based product. Fred says heâll slip in a bit of brisket and some nice herb sausages to give the lad a good feed, as Blanche is one of his special lady customers. Ashleyâs ears prick up ö surely Blanche couldnât be Fredâs secret love object? He grins to himself, dismissing the idea. As soon as Blanche has gone, Fred asks Ashley whatâs been bothering him all day. Ashley shows him the earring he found down the side of the settee. Fred says itâs Audreyâs, and Ashley says ãThatâs not back on again, is it?ä Fred admonishes him, saying there were nowt to it. Ashley says heâd be happy for Fred to find someone nice, he just worries that Fred gets let down all the time. ãJust for your own peace of mind, there were no romantic entanglements while you were away, moreâs the pity,ä says Fred.

Sarah is in the cafŽ telling Adam that Bethany enjoyed her first day at school. Heâs being all sweet and understanding, and says Sarahâs an amazing girl. This prompts her to ask him if Candice was correct in assuming heâd come back because of Sarah. He says he likes her a lot, as a mate, but he came back because he was sick of school. She looks a little bit disappointed, and they both manage an awkward situation by joking with each other, but it isnât long before they leave. As theyâre going out, Charlie and Jason are coming in. Jason is saying to Roy that if he wants him and Charlie to act as bouncers, theyâll do it for free bacon butties every morning. Charlie tells him to shut up. ãNo, no, no, heâs all right, heâs just saying what everybodyâs thinking,ä Roy says. Hayley tries to divert him, but Roy is on a self-pity roll now: ãPoor old Roy Cropper, needs a real man to fight his battles for him.ä Charlie says no-one thinks any less of Roy, but Roy says to the room at large, ãIâd like you all to leave, because I donât need your pity and I donât want your custom.ä He makes everyone leave, including Vera, even taking food away from people who are in the middle of eating. The cafŽ is empty, but then the door opens. ãGo away!ä says Roy when he hears it. ãAgain?ä says Rosie, for it is she, ãThis is discrimination against Goths!ä ãI said get out!!ä Roy yells, and ushers her out. Hayley puts her arms around him.

Ashley and Claire are discussing Fredâs relationship history, and as the catalogue of proposals and failed romances gets longer and longer, Claire canât help but laugh. What they donât realise is that Fred has come in and is in the hallway, listening to them. He leaves without them knowing heâs been there, but he was obviously hurt by what he heard.

In the Rovers, Shelley is telling Charlie that she enjoyed the gym and even did an extra ten minutes on the treadmill. As a reward she thinks he ought to take her out for a meal, but he reminds her about her diet, so she says they could have a quiet night in instead. Charlie goes into the back room, and Fred comes in, in search of a large scotch & threat. Heâs disappointed to hear that Audrey wonât be in because she and Gail are going to the cinema. Shelley asks him to look after the bar till Ciaran arrives, because itâs her night off and sheâs planning a quiet night in with Charlie (she looks unreasonably excited at the prospect of this). Fred feels even more alone.

At Davenportâs, Ian offers Sally a glass of wine. He tells her that he canât bear the idea of her going on holiday with Kevin, and says again that he loves her. She tells him heâs got to stop saying these things: ãIâm married. Iâve got a family. Justine is my friend, same as you and Kevin. There can never be anything between you and me because weâre just good friends, and weâd hurt too many people.ä He agrees that sheâs right, and says heâs sorry, and then drops the bombshell: ãIâd be sorry to lose you Sally, but thereâs no way you can go on working here while I feel like this.ä She says the job means everything to her and her family. ãI know,ä he says, ãand Iâm sorry.ä Sally looks devastated.

Random observations:

Todayâs least-stretched cast members: Steve and Tracy

Fred Elliottâs ã3 Things going for the Frenchä:
1. They know romance
2. They like a drink
3. They have no truck wiâ vegetarians

Ian has a (badly Photoshopped) photograph of himself with George Best (or possibly the Maharishi) on his office wall

*Chavs - for clarification see http://www.chavscum.co.uk/

Friday evening update. Something strange happens in the Street tonight. But that happens most of the time. Anyway at least one of these storylines is to me unpredictable at the moment - no doubt all will be explained eventually.

Anyway events in Coronation Street are copyright ITV, written by Mark Wadlow and directed by Kay Patrick whilst they are sponsored by Cadburys.

Roy has not opened the caff and Leanne and Vera are sent home by Hayley - but they will get paid. Hayley returns upstairs and Roy apologises - he should have dealt with it. Roy cannot carry on as normal - he just can't. Hayley says Vince is winning - but as Roy says bullies always do.

Along at the Websters a somewhat harassed Sally is turning down a request for black clothes. Sally is worried about losing her job and Kevin's work drying up. Sally is not sure she wants a full time job - she is getting up 5am to do the ironing. Sally wants to live within her means, whilst Kev interprets it as meaning he has to do more around the house. Her extra mural activities do not get mentioned.

In the Rovers Tracy kisses Steve and says she is joining him for a drink - a white wine. She wants a night out with Steve - they can put Amy to bed together. She says he has weeks to get over Karen - but he refuses to contemplate taking her out. Tracy says they both know it is going to happen but Steve cuts her short saying he knew Karen was mad and walks off.

On the other side of the bar Fiz and Hayley are talking about Roy. Fiz offers to help and she will be around this evening to sort him out.

Sally arrives in Ian's office. She closes the door and start shouting at him. She likes the job and she is good at it - so she wants a pay rise - not the sack. They agree it is unfair dismissal and harassment. The nice things he said were stupid. It is a mess and he cannot see a way out of it. A phone call interrupts the discussion. He later offers compensation and a good reference. He claims to be madly in love, but either he is lying or a bad actor because I am not convinced. He asks Sally to stay late to discuss the subject.

Steve explains to Liz about his meeting with Tracy. Liz of course is keen to see "nice" Tracy in the family. Steve is totally against it, until he decides that perhaps it is not such a bad idea and they should go out this evening. He goes round to the Barlow household and issues the invitation. Dreary agrees to babysit and he will come round, put Amy to bed and they will go out.

After the break we see Tracy wearing a fetching red dress (which presumably she just happened to have in her wardrobe) painting her nails as Steve puts Amy to bed. Blanche has the date explained to her, but no-one can work out why Steve is suddenly interested. Ken hopes that Steve will not take advantage of her - her view is that he can do that just as often as he likes. She just hopes they are going somewhere nice. A scrubbed up Steve comes down and they depart.

Roy has been to the bookshop - he was looking for a tome on assertiveness as he thought it might help, sadly all that is offered is one which can be ordered, but Roy responds that "no .. leave it ... don't worry ... not important" - and the shop keeper can see why it needs it! Roy laughs at his own joke and Hayley thought she would never hear that again. They continue eating dinner when there is knocking at the door - Fiz has arrived.

Tracy is enjoying her daiquiri and they are in a swish restaurant. She is nervous but Steve tells her to relax. He cannot decide on either the lamb or steak. Steve reckons Amy was cute this evening - and he cannot shirk his responsibility for ever. Tracy reckons this is a good sign and holds his hand. Steve tells her to concentrate on the menu even though he is good looking.

Sally and Ian are having a drink - she feels guilty - she trusts herself - so what has she got to feel guilty about? What are they doing - brainstorming a solution to the problem. He does not want her to leave - he wants them to be together. There are many broken homes and the children are not damaged says Ian and as Sally observes she and Kevin only got together again because ... (reminder it was for the gurls - but she stops short, although Ian guesses why). She does not want to talk about her and Kevin and Ian apologises - it is not his business.

Tracy wants to know why Steve has taken her out and as he eats he says he has been thinking about the two of them and their daughter, they need to get on for her sake. So why is fighting it? He decided it would be a good idea for them to go out together - after all it will not lead anywhere - he has no feelings for her and never will. He buys her a single red rose as a token of his indifference. Tracy's dreams are destroyed - she has been setup. Steve knew it was the only way he would get her to listen to him - and now they can concentrate on having a nice evening.

Fiz was bullied at school - Laura Proctor would be waiting for her as she got off the bus. Fiz was humiliated until the day she turned round and smacked her in the face - and she would do the same to Vince. Roy does not think violence is a good idea. Fiz reckons Roy has a steely determined quality. Fiz was devastated that the caff was closed - they had to go elsewhere for their cakes - he promises normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Ian and Sally are still talking - she has been divorced and her marriage is fine and she loves her husband. Ian says there may be more to life - so they should face what they want and grab it with both hands. Ian says he tried to ignore his feelings - but had to say something. Sally says it is best if ... But Ian believes he can make her really happy if he gives it a chance. Sally admits she finds Ian attractive and if they were single it would be a different matter - she must go home. He offers her a lift.

At the Barlows a council of war has been summoned - they are discussing Adam's future. Ken wants the boy to get educated and Mike reckons he should drop out and get into work. We hear both sides of the argument until Adam cuts it short. This family is bonkers he says and he is going back to school to get as far away from it as possible!

Ian and Sally arrive in the Street in his Porsche. Ian offers Sally another way. He proposes that as she will not leave Kevin - he is willing to settle for second best - they both feel about each other the same way - so a bit of fun now and again. He refuses to let her say anything and suggests she sleeps on it. Sally does not know how to respond.

And the strange thing - Adam clearly has rather more brains than we all thought.

No doubt Sally will go off the rails any time now - sadly I am just not convinced that Ian actually wants her for her body. I wonder if his business is going the wrong way (he is laying off staff and sending work out to Kev - now how easily would it look like Sal had sent the work to Kev?) and he wants someone to blame for missing cash etc. And I reckon the wife is in on it.

Last update from me next week.

K Richard W

This is the update for Sunday's episode.

We open in the Webster household, where the holiday is the topic of discussion. Rosie wants to go on a cruise but Kevin reckons that Sally should decide. However, Sally clearly has other things on her mind and after looking distant, says she'd rather discuss this later as she has a headache. Kevin suggests she takes the day off but she's dine to go in to work. Seeing that Sally is in a bit of a state, Kevin tells her they can manage without the money. This comment vices Sally's heart and she almost looks set to confess but turns and leaves for work.

Katy is holding a positive pregnancy test with a broad smile on her face. She considers phoning Martin then chooses not to.

Roy looks uneasy at the reopening of the cafe but Hayley is assuring him it'll be all right. Violet and Katy are at a table and Katy tells a shell shocked Violet her news. After some initial blatant shock, Violet plasters a fake smile on her face and congratulates her friend.

Sally has arrived at Ian's office to collect her things. Ian plays around with her feelings slyly, eventually persuading her to at least stay for the rest of the day purely on business of course!

Tracy and Deirdre are discussing Steve and Tracy is telling Deirdre that she's fine with their situation, so long as Steve's there for Amy. Deirdre is unconvinced.

Steve is in a more jovial mood in the cab office and Liz is there for the gossip on his night with Tracy. She's very excited...until Steve tells her how the night ended! A disgusted Liz tells Steve that he's as bad as Karen.

Katy is very affectionate with a bewildered Martin and puts it down to missing him. She's about to break her news when David emerges as he and Martin are off bowling. Katy decides to tag along

Ian is cackling across the phone and flirting with a woman, as Sally listens. His little game clearly has the desired effect on Sally as she becomes flustered. Ian apologises for how things have turned out.

Steve knocks at Tracy's door but she's not in. Deirdre asks him to take Amy out.

At bowling, Craig has missed all the pins but his sister ends up getting a strike. Martin gives a bad shot and playful banter goes into a playful pile on style brawl, with Martin living life to the edge after finally giving in the urge to join in

Sally is on the phone to Kevin, who wants to know what to make for tea. As Ian watches, Sally struggles to tell Kevin she loves him. He comes down and offers her a bonus of two thousand, five hundred pounds

Steve and Claire are having a deep discussion about babies, parenting and....ducks. Not many developments here really, but it's clear Steve has really come round to parenting

Craig is once again the subject of teasing over being a Goth...Katy gives him and David money for videogames leaving her and Martin to talk. She tells him he's a really good dad.

There's an awkward moment between Tracy and Steve when Steve returns Amy. Steve apologises for what he did. As he goes, she tells him not to be a stranger to Amy.

Shelley and Sunita are in the back room and Sunita has a bag of chips. Sunita persuades Shelley to take one...and she eats two...just as Charlie walks in! Shelley is humiliated.

Martin is knackered at the pub but Katy again tells him he's a good dad. But after his comments in return, Katy thinks he means she's more of a big sister to David than a mother figure. Martin tells her it's understandable but Katy storms out.

Ian hands Sally her reference and is telling her to go. He tells her to blame him for her quitting. Sally tells him she just wants to do the best for Rosie and Sophie. Kevin is calling as Sally breaks down in tears, torn by her impossible situation. Ian opens the door for her but she closes it and locks lips with her slimy boss.

Duncan Lindsay

Hi everyone, here is the first episode on Monday 17th January.

We begin with Martin in a rush to get to work. Apparently he didnât set the alarm because he was so wound up by his row with Katy the night before. They both blame each other, and as he rushes about trying to get ready for work he breaks a shoelace, which doesnât exactly enhance his mood. As he goes to leave, Katy says, ÎYou canât go now,â and then tells him she feels sick. She asks him to stay at home but he goes.

At the Websterâs, Sophie is testing Rosie who has a maths test looming. As Kevin teases his daughters, Sally promises to make it up to him for being late home the night before. Kevin tells her that the amount Ian is paying they must expect her to have to do overtime now and again. (I donât think itâs actually the kind of overtime that Kevin has in mind!)

Over at the Battersbyâs, Chesney is stuffing himself full of breakfast cereal. He tells Les he wants to finish the box, heâs saving tokens for a free Frisbee so he can take it to the Red Rec with Schmeikel. Cilla comes downstairs then, looking for her make up bag. Les tells her that her face is overrated. ÎWhat?â she demands, immediately taking umbrage. Les tries to get himself out of a hole, ÎYou donât need all that slap,â he tells her. ÎIâll give you one in a minute,â she warns him, and then they hear a noise. Further investigation proves it to be Schmeikel under the table, his face a delightful array of colours as he chews the aforementioned make up bag and its contents!

Gail meets Shelley coming along the street, dressed in fuchsia pink track suit and enormous black scarf (I think she must have borrowed it from Angela, it looks like the one she's usually got round her neck.) Gail asks if sheâs ok, and Shelley explains that sheâs just come from the gym and apparently itâs doing her good.

Sally comes out of the house and spots Kevin. She asks if they can go shopping that evening ö for a holiday! She gives him a big hug. ÎSee ya tonight,â he tells her, Îdonât be late!â

Katy has gone to have breakfast with her mum. She tells Angela how angry Martin made her, and he treats her like a child. Angela thinks she may be a bit oversensitive and an innocent remark can get taken the wrong way. Katy tells her the age difference has never been an issue to her, but now heâs going to have to take her seriously. She seems just about to tell her mum the news, when Tommy comes in and is surprised to see her. ÎTrouble in Paradise?â he asks hopefully.

Shelley has got changed and comes downstairs, just as Charlie is about to make a phone call. She goes to get them both an orange juice and when she comes back she hears him on the phone to the suppliers, over-ordering as itâs an insurance job. She looks troubled.

Les and Chesney arrive at the kennels with Schmeikel, and find Kirk cleaning out some of the kennels. They have to leave Schmeikel, Cilla wonât have him in the house any more. Chesney gets really upset as he hands him over to Kirk, and Les comments that itâs worse than ÎOld Shepâ.

Katy goes into the pub and finds Violet behind the bar. Violet asks if she told Martin about the pregnancy. ÎI tried,â says Katy, but reckons itâs not the kind of thing you just blurt out, you have to build up to it. She tells Violet sheâll tell him when it suits her, sheâs in control for a change!

Over at Davenportâs, Ian is just finishing with a customer. Sally tells him that they need to talk. Just then Justine rushes in, saying sheâs been trying to reach him all morning. She has had the head of Oakhill on the phone, their daughter, Gemma, has been caught smoking. The two of them have an appointment with the head at 2.30pm. She takes Ian off, but not before he can turn to Sally and say quietly, Iâll be back before closing, you can count on that!â

At the kennels, Kirk is bathing Schmeikel. A woman dressed in rather strange clothes approaches him, sheâs come to collect her large pink poodle, Lulu. Her name is Thelma Clegg, sheâs been on holiday to Turkey and is wearing something she picked up out there.

Charlie and Jason are working in the corner shop. Charlie tells Jason he can finish for the day, but to take the rolls of copper pipe back to the yard, itâs more secure. Dev comes in and is desperate to know if theyâll be finished by next week so he can open the shop again. Charlie tells him yes, itâll be finished. Dev is really pleased and asks him if heâll do the work on the other shops.

In the Rovers, Shelley asks Violet if sheâs ever had any dealings with insurance companies. She tells her sheâs thinking of insuring her diamond earrings. Violet tells her that when her uncle got burgled he claimed for a Swiss watch and all sorts of designer gear, although they were only Bangkok rip offs. Shelley is quite shocked, although Violet tells her that everybody does it. Shelley reckons itâs fraud in her book. Just then Charlie comes in and goes through to the back.

Over at the kennels, Kirk is massaging a huge pink poodle. Thelma tells Kirk that heâs enjoying it. (Yes, large, pink Lulu is a boy!) She reckons that her dog likes Kirk, and dogs are good judges of character. She asks Kirk if heâll come and walk Lulu now and again and then give him a wash and brush up afterwards, sheâll pay him of course. She takes Lulu off home, leaving Kirk with a large tip.

Ian returns to the car showroom just as Sally is about to leave. He tells her the head wasnât worried about Gemma smoking, heâs seen it all before, it was just Justine making a fuss. He hopes Sally didnât feel too awkward when Justine came in, and Sally tells him that seeing her brought it all home to her just exactly what they are doing to Justine. Ian tells her again that his marriage exists in name only, itâs a charade for Gemmaâs sake. (Is this another version of 'My wife doesn't understand me?') Sally says that sheâs not sure about it all. This is a better job than she ever hoped for, and is now taking more money home than she ever has. She tells Ian, ÎIf this is the price·..â They kiss, and then he asks her if sheâll stay late. He starts to take off his jacket. ÎNo,â says Sally, ÎI wonât. My family comes first, all this will ever be is a snatched hour in the office.â She tells him she has promised Kevin sheâll come home and theyâll go and book a holiday. Ian puts his jacket back on, and tells her that Crete is nice. (I can't for the life of me understand what Sally sees in this guy....yukk!)

Katy comes back to the flat and finds Martin asleep on the sofa. She starts to apologise for that morning, but he stops her, that was the best part of the day, it was downhill from there. His boss gave him a final warning (what on earth has he done? Will we ever know? Or have I missed something?) He now feels that heâs walking a knife edge, one more mistake and heâll be down the road. Katy, trying to cheer him up, tells him that thereâs more to life than work. He tells her to get real, if he loses his job and sheâs at school, what kind of life would they have with no money coming in? Katy then tells him that thereâs so much to look forward to, all three of them, she tells him, ÎWeâre having a baby!â.

Find out Martinâs reaction in Episode 2.

Anne Logan

Written by: Jayne Hollinson
Directed by: Tracey Rooney

The father-to-be, Martin, is looking anguished about Katieâs pregnancy. Katy begs him to say what heâs thinking. ãItâs a disaster,ä he says, ãA total and utter disaster.ä

In the factory, Sonia is complaining about her uncomfortable chair. She could get ãrepetitive stress syndrome,ä she tells Danny. He isnât interested in her concerns, so she gets all militant and proposes to hold a meeting after work about health and safety. Janice says all she feels like holding after work is a pint. So Sonia says they can have the meeting in the Rovers, and Kelly agrees to be there as long as Sonia buys the first round.

A tearful Katy is protesting to Martin that the pregnancy isnât her fault, because the pill isnât infallible (particularly when you deliberately donât take it, but she doesnât mention that bit). Seeing how upset she is, Martin gives her a hug and reiterates that itâs not her fault, these things happen. Katy tries to reassure him that itâll be alright and theyâll cope, but Martin doesnât see how, considering the problems heâs having at work, and Katy is in the middle of her exams. She's still trying to see the bright side, but her optimism annoys him ö he thinks she isnât being realistic ö and he grabs his coat and says heâs going out for a walk.

The Websters are at the travel agents. Sally, Kevin and Sophie like the look of Crete, but Rosie asks if they canât go somewhere colder: ãThereâs no way Iâm getting a tan.ä Sally tells her that with some sun-block and a big floppy hat sheâll come back as white as a ghost, so Rosie agrees to Crete.

Chesney (who is coming back from the chip shop with Les and Cilla, all eating chips) sees Kirk coming home from work, and asks him how Schmeichel is, and Kirk reassures him that even though the dog is missing Chesney, heâs being well looked after and thinks heâs on holiday. ãExcept he isnât,ä sighs Chesney, to the irritation of Cilla, who sends him home to put the kettle on. Kirk tells Cilla and Les about getting a £20 tip from a woman at work: ãShe just liked the way I handled her Lulu!ä Les and Cilla crack up, and laugh even more when Kirk tells them that the woman wants him to go round to her house to ãprovide her with personal services.ä They tease him that the woman is after more than his dog handling skills.

The meeting of the factory militants (Kelly, Sonia, Angela, Sean, Fizz and Janice) is convening around a table in the Rovers. First item on the agenda is chairs, but itâs only Sonia who isnât happy with hers. Sheâs irritated that the others arenât taking the meeting seriously, and asks them if thereâs anything they feel strongly about. For once, not one of them has anything to say. Fizz eventually comes up with a grievance about never finding a clean mug when she wants to make a cuppa.

The Websters are on the way back from the travel agents, talking about the holiday and bikinis and so on, when they bump into Justine and Ian Davenport (whom I saw described in one of the Sunday newspapers as "Metallic Ian", which describes him perfectly: steel gray hair, steely spectacles, steely thrust to the jaw. He's a robot). Sally looks really awkward and after theyâve exchanged a few pleasantries she says they have to go. Ian gives her a knowing look over his shoulder as he walks away.

In the back room of the Rovers, Shelley is broaching the subject of the perks of the building trade, with Charlie. She tells him she overheard him on the phone earlier, ordering supplies. He admits he was over-ordering, and she says it doesnât seem right, it feels like heâs going behind Dev and Sunitaâs back. He gets angry, stands up and turns off the television. ãItâs how you run a small business,ä he says. ãIf you didnât, youâd go under. Iâm sure Dev knows that as much as anybody else. Everybody rips off the insurance, including me.ä His tone changes to the quiet, slightly threatening one: ãWhat I donât do is rip off me mates.ä ãIâm sorry!ä says Shelley. ãYouâre good at saying that,ä he mutters, ãAfter youâve hung, drawn and quartered me.ä He puts his jacket on and says heâs going out. Shelley apologises again, and says she didnât think it through. He replies that what he didnât think through was moving in with her ö itâs like sheâs waiting for him to let her down like Peter did, ãAnd Iâm starting to feel sorry for the poor bloke. I bet everything was fine until you pushed him to it with your paranoia.ä He leaves.

To Gailâs house now, where Sarah is getting ready to go out with Candice, and Gail is annoying her by asking her where sheâs going etc. David is trying to keep out of it, sitting on the sofa watching TV. Bethany is painting in the kitchen. Martin comes in (apparently he doesnât need to knock or anything, he just walks in). Sarah and Gailâs squabbling increases, David turns the TV even louder to try and hear it, and Martin is standing in the middle of this chaos presumably thinking that family life isnât as joyful as itâs cracked up to be. Bethany has spilled her paints, and is shouting ãNana! Nana! Nana! Nana!ä to attract Gailâs attention, while Gail is asking Martin if he wanted anything in particular. He says he just fancied a walk, and Gail says something about running around after a four year-old at her time of life, and goes to help Beth. David asks if he can come to Martinâs to watch the TV, but Martin says it isnât a very good time, and leaves.

Katy is at home cleaning the kitchen, apparently in the dark, and sniffing. She abandons the cleaning, and stands crying, her hands on her tummy.

Martin is in the pub now, looking moody. The factory workers are still in there, being a bit loud and obviously quite drunk, and the conversation has moved on from dirty mugs to who takes all the custard creams from the tin. ãI love these staff meetings, me,ä giggles Janice. ãIs that what you call it?ä Tommy says, having just come in. They sit Tommy down with them and tell him whatâs been decided so far: theyâre going to keep buying the same biscuits, theyâre going to ask Danny to pay Angela to do the washing up, and Sean wants them to have a mascot of a mole (representing Underworld). Angela says that Tommy has a mole: ãItâs dead cute.ä Poor Tommy looks really uncomfortable as everyone tries to guess where his mole is.

Kirk comes into the pub, followed by Les and Cilla. Fizz joins them at the bar, and Cilla wastes no time in telling Fizz about Kirkâs special customer. Fizz refuses to rise to the bait, and tells Kirk sheâs really pleased for him.

At the Webstersâ, Sophie is showing off the new clothes sheâs got for her holiday. Rosie is planning to wear her usual black. Sophie gives Sally a hug to thank her for the clothes, and Sally gets a bit tearful. She ushers the girls to bed to cover her emotions. After theyâve gone, Kevin asks her if sheâs alright. ãFine,ä she says, adding that she just wants the girls and Kevin to be happy. ãWhatâs this?ä he says, ãGuilt pangs because youâre a working mother?ä ãMaybe,ä she says quietly. ãWell donât,ä he says, and kisses her.

In the Rovers, Katy comes in to talk to Martin. The pub is now a lot emptier. Katy says she wants to talk to him, and he says the pub isnât the right place. Katy gets upset: ãYou wonât come home! Am I supposed to just sit there waiting for you?ä Tommy is at the bar and overhears this, and asks if Katyâs alright. Martin tries to usher her out, but Tommy asks her again if sheâs okay. She says sheâs fine (though she doesnât look it) and Tommy asks if Martinâs done anything to upset her. Heâs getting angry, and Shelley intervenes, allowing Katy and Martin to leave. Tommy is about to follow them, but Angela stops him.

Katy is walking along the street sobbing. ãI was just scared you werenât coming home,ä she tells Martin. He apologises for being selfish and leaving her on her own, but says itâs all been such a shock. ãWhatâs happenedâs happened,ä he says, ãand weâll just have to make do. Weâll get through together.ä He wipes away her tears, and she smiles.

Kirk is going on about his new customer with Fizz. ãShe does sushi or something with dogs,ä he says. ãIf she even thinks about sushi-ing you, Iâll chop her hand off,ä Fizz replies. They leave the pub just as Charlie returns. He sends Violet home, saying that heâll help Shelley clear up. Shelley tells him sheâs sorry for her accusations earlier. ãYou do have a tendency to go building things up out of nothing,ä he says. ãI donât know how you put up with me,ä she says. ãBecause I love you. And Iâm trying, Shell, I really am trying, but sometimes you make things very difficult. How do you think I feel, knowing you donât trust me?ä ãBut I do!ä she protests, and says itâs because she has to get all that stuff with Peter out of her head, and sheâll try harder. ãThatâs all I wanted to hear,ä he says, and tells her theyâll leave the clearing up until the morning and go to bed.

Katy and Martin are at home, looking less gloomy now, and Martinâs saying they can get through it if theyâre practical. For a start, the flat is tiny. Katy says they can get a bigger one, but he points out that she isnât earning, and his job is looking a bit dodgy. She says she doesnât care about her studies, because having a baby is more important: ãWhat does it matter when weâre going to spend the rest of our lives together anyway?ä she says, and sees the look on his face. She tells him to forget the practicalities for a while: ãYouâve got to be a little bit excited! Youâre going to be a dad!ä ãIâm already a dad,ä he points out. He says that itâs not that he doesnât want a baby with her, but they had decided to wait. She says itâs happened now, and theyâll cope. ãThere are other ways of coping,ä he says, and drops the bombshell: ãI think you should have an abortion.ä She bursts into tears and storms out of the room.

Sue Haasler

Written by: Daran Little (so you know itâs going to be a good one)
Directed by: Tracey Rooney

Breakfast time. Katy is at her parentsâ home, looking like she hasnât slept. They know sheâs had a row with Martin, but Tommy wants to know what it was about. Katy says heâs treating her like a kid, and he says sheâs acting like one, coming back home in tears every five minutes. Angela says they just want Katy to be happy, and she says she certainly isnât happy. Tommy angrily says she hasnât been happy since she ãmoved in with Platt.ä Angela says Katy can always talk to them because theyâre on her side, but Katy says itâs something she needs to sort out with Martin ö Tommyâs right, she canât keep running away.

Kirk is getting ready for work, and Fizz is on the rampage about the extra work heâs doing for Thelma. He protests that Thelma says heâs the only one who can handle her dog, and Fizz says heâd better make sure thatâs all heâs handling. Kirk is rather cheered at the thought that Fizz is jealous. As Kirkâs leaving, Sean arrives to bring Fizzâs straighteners back. (Exactly what heâs been doing with them I canât be sure, as his hair looks the same as always, and Fizzâs hair is always resolutely curly so I donât know why she even possesses straighteners). Fizz tells Sean that sheâs suspicious of Kirk ö heâs never been so keen to go to work before. Sean asks what this Thelma is like. Fizz says she hasnât seen her, but she does know she has money: ãMoney and a dog. No wonder Kirkâs headâs been turned! I canât compete!ä Sean has a think. ãWhat would Angela Lansbury do?ä he ponders, and hatches a plan. Theyâll take the day off sick, and go and see this Thelma, and find out what kind of reward Kirk gets for going walkies.

Katy finds Martin sitting in the flat contemplating the back of a raffia table-mat as though it held the secrets of the universe (as opposed to some dried ketchup and a few toast crumbs). ãIâve not slept all night,ä says Martin. ãI were waiting for your dad to come knocking the door down. Or your mum.ä Katy says she hasnât told them. ãSo why did you go running back to them, like you always do?ä he asks, ãAnd you think youâre old enough to have a kid.ä Katy sits down, and Martin attempts to explain how heâs feeling. ãBabies change your whole life. Look at Sarah.ä ãIâm not thirteen,ä says Katy. ãIâm not pregnant because I was mucking around with some kid at school. Iâm in a committed relationship. Or at least I thought I was.ä ãCourse you are,ä Martin says, and when she asks if heâs going to finish with her he says he isnât: ãWe live together, I love you, everythingâs fine. But ö a baby· the timingâs wrong, thatâs all.ä Katy says sheâs happy to be pregnant, ãbut youâre not. So what happens now?ä

Sean is on the phone. He and Fizz are going through the phone book trying to track down Thelma Clegg, but the Mr Clegg Sean is speaking to doesnât have a wife, or even a daughter, called Thelma. They have more luck with the second call ö the phone is answered by a Thelma Clegg. Sean says heâs from ãMeaty Chunky Boys,ä and that sheâs won a yearâs supply of dog food. She confirms that she has a dog. Fizz scribbles down the address from the phone book.

Metallic Ian is in his office writing a letter on his laptop. Sally comes in to tell him that theyâre already up on last yearâs figures. ãThe only figure I can think about right now is yours,ä he smarms, with a smile of such metallic insincerity that I got quite scared and had to hide behind a cushion for a minute. Sally tries to carry on talking about work, but he asks her, ãWhatâs happening in Sallyâs world today?ä She describes the contents of her work diary for the day, but he wants to know what sheâll be doing at home. Sheâs reluctant to talk about her home life, but mentions the holiday to Crete again. He says heâll miss her, and puts his hand on hers when she reaches for some papers on his desk. She takes her hand back. ãWeâre not going till Easter,ä she says, walking out of the room.

Martin is still looking at the back of the raffia table-mat. Poor Katy is looking quite ill. Sheâs saying that her parents would support her if she wanted the baby, but she doesnât want to do it without Martin. Appealing to his paternal instincts, she tells him what a good father he is to David and Sarah. She says she canât talk to Tommy like Sarah can talk to Martin. They talked about having kids, she says, and Martin said he wanted them, so whatâs changed? Martin replies that maybe heâs too old ö heâs 40 next birthday and he canât cope with kids running around. Katy points out that if they delayed having a baby any longer, heâd be even older. He says he doesnât have the answers. ãI love you, Martin,ä sniffs Katy, ãAnd I want to spend the rest of my life with you and have your children ö loads of children ö and I want them all to be just like you.ä He hugs her, and apologises for being upset with her. ãThe timingâs not right,ä he says, ãbut when is it ever? Weâll manage. Iâm gonna be a dad again!ä ãSo you donât want me to get rid of it?ä she asks him. ãNo. Weâre having this baby.ä Katy looks joyful, and Martin is smiling too, but his face betrays that he still has reservations.

Sean and Fizz (with her red hair in two big bunches held with cerise and purple feathered accessories and matching bright pink boots) are looking completely obvious as they walk down Thelmaâs road. ãIs this it?ä Sean hisses theatrically. He pretends to tie his shoelace so he can get a good look at the house. ãLook at the state of them nets. They havenât been washed in years,ä he tuts. Thelma is nowhere to be seen, so they carry on walking, but Sean suddenly hops over Thelmaâs garden wall, pulling Fizz after him. They hide behind some shrubbery. Fizz tells Sean to ring the doorbell, because if Kirkâs inside the dog will be, too, and itâll bark. ãThatâs genius,ä says Sean. Just then they have to dive behind the bushes as Kirk appears, with the dog (a giant poodle, dyed pink) on a lead, coming back to the house. Fizz is upset to see that Kirk has his own key to the front door.

Sally is busy with some customers when Metallic Ian glides out of his office (he moves as if heâs on castors). ãAm I seeing you tonight?ä he wants to know.

ãI canât stay long,ä she replies. He says he canât wait till then, and pulls her into his office, making sure he turns the metallic blinds so the customers canât see them.

Sarah is painting her toenails at home (well, sheâd hardly do it at Royâs Rolls, I suppose). Gail and Audrey come in. Gailâs just seen Candice, who doesnât know anything about going out with Sarah later on ö though Sarah has told Gail that sheâs seeing Candice. Sarah admits sheâs going on a date. ãWith a fella?ä gasps Audrey. Sarah says thatâs why she didnât tell them, because theyâll start asking questions and worrying. But Gail and Audrey are wily old birds, and pretend to be not the least bit interested. This has the effect of making Sarah volunteer the information. ãHis nameâs Scooter,ä she says. She met him on the bus, heâs 19, he has a job and he lives on the other side of town. Gail and Audrey grin at each other.

Ian and Sally are kissing in his office. Her mobile rings ö itâs Kevin, telling her something about buying a bike for one of the girls. While this is going on, Ian is removing his jacket to reveal more of his seductive black chunky sweater. She puts the phone away and he grabs her again. ãItâs not funny!ä Sally says. ãIâm not enjoying this.ä ãYouâre learning to be a good liar, Mrs Webster,ä he murmurs. ãWell itâs a good job really, isnât it?ä she says, succumbing to his steely charms.

Now a most surreal scene: in the background we have Kirk, sitting on a sofa. On the floor next to him is a giant pink poodle. In the foreground, a bare female foot, adorned with a bracelet of coins. Arabian music plays. The foot shakes, the coins jingle, and Thelma shimmies into her sitting room, dressed in belly-dancing gear complete with veil. Kirk swallows. Thelma tells him she had the outfit sent from Morocco ö itâs completely authentic: ãOoh, it even smells of camels!ä she sighs. She tells him that belly dancing has firmed her thighs up a treat: ãWhen I started, I could only hold a Naval orange between them. Now Iâm down to a plum. Iâm aiming for a grape.ä She says itâs great having Kirk as an audience, as she wants to get the dance just right before she shows ãher Grantä (whoever that is). I have to mention here thereâs a portrait of the pink poodle on the wall behind her. Kirk is being hypnotised by her swaying hips, and crosses his legs. She breaks off the dance to show him a photograph of herself and the poodle, both wearing sunglasses. ãIâm thinking of getting it framed. Thelma and Louise. Lulu ö do you get it?ä The beat of the music gets faster. ãI like this bit,ä says Thelma, and commences jiggling her hips so the coins jingle. Through the window behind Kirk we can see Sean, his mouth gaping wide enough to drive a truck in. ãWhat are they doing?ä hisses Fizz from behind the bush. ãYou wouldnât believe me if I told you,ä says Sean.

Tommy and Angela are sitting on the factory steps discussing Katy and Martin. They agree that the rows between the two are happening more often. Angela thinks Katy might want to move back in with them, since she was so upset the night before, and Tommy says if she does they should think about moving house, to get Katy right away from Martin. Angela says they should take things one step at a time.

Kirk is leaving Thelmaâs. As she shows him out, sheâs wearing a silky dressing gown. She says she hopes heâll be able to come again, because itâs great being able to practise the dance without Lulu getting under her feet, and Kirk is able to control him (Lulu is a him, apparently). No sooner has Thelma shut the door, than Kirk receives a hefty blow to the abdomen courtesy of Fizzâs handbag. She wonât listen to his explanations, and yells at him that heâs a liar and a cheat.

Katy is thinking about what the babyâs surname will be. Martin realises this is a hint that she wants to get married, but he unconsciously repeats Angelaâs words: ãOne step at a time.ä Katy wonders when they should tell people about the baby, but Martin says the first three months are very risky, so they shouldnât tell anyone until after that. Katy says sheâs feeling much better now. It wasnât just his reaction to the baby that upset her, it was how he reacted when she proposed to him, ãIt was like Iâd come at you with a knife or something.ä He says she can feel secure with him now. So she immediately starts talking about getting a bigger flat ö she wants a nursery, with a cot (always handy, they are). And she doesnât want to know what gender the baby is, because she wants Martin to be the one who tells her. ãAnd youâll lift it up to me, and Iâll hold it close, and forget about all the pain and stuff, and nothingâll matter then, will it? Just you, me and our baby.ä Heâs chuckling away fondly at her, but then she adds, ãAnd youâll be glad I never took the pill, and itâll all be brilliant and weâll be a real family·ä She stops when she sees the look on his face.

ãYou never took your pill?ä he says through clenched teeth. ãI do not believe this.ä ãI just wanted to feel safe,ä she says. ãBy getting pregnant? By TRICKING me?ä he slams the knife heâs been making a sandwich with down on to the floor. ãItâs a stupid, childish trick!ä he rants. He says she doesnât know what lifeâs all about. ãIâm so angry with you! I feel like youâve cheated me out of something!ä He stops shouting, and tells her in a quiet voice that he doesnât know if they can go on together. ãOf course we can,ä Katy says. ãWeâre having a baby!ä ãAre we?ä he replies. ãOr are you? I mean, youâve planned all this. Where do I come into it? Is there any point in you and me just going on and on? Maybe we should just call it a day ö here and now.ä She pleads with him not to finish with her, but his face is angry, sad and determined.

Sue Haasler

Straight in.

Martin and Katy are still arguing. (Martin grow up - she is pregnant - you are the father. Either like it or lump it - but stop moaning about it). She is going to the doctor and Nurse Martin ain't going with her. Later in the cafe Katy confides in Violet over Martin and the baby (why - do they even know each other?).

Kirk would rather like Fiz not to tell the world about the belly dancer and she agrees not to - except of course the factory girls who do a quick belly dance in the background.

Halfwit Sally turns up in a Porsche with Kev's elevenses. The car will give her an advantage when negotiating with suppliers. Later she returns to the office and scheming Ian presents her with another huge cheque. He tells her to go and buy some decent clobber. Look I know she is blonde - but she cannot be this stupid surely?

Dev and Sunita are checking the nearly complete shop. She has plans to improve the shop over the previous existence. They talk about the shop and Maya is mentioned (she must be due to escape from prison soon - or perhaps released as innocent). Dev takes her out to lunch. As she get ready to go Dev finds an invoice which careless Charlie has left behind. Dev does not look happy.

Candice is going out with the footballers tonight and invites Maria along. The latter had plans for the evening with Tyrone - but they are soon history.

After advising Kirk to buy a present for Fiz to calm her down Charlie is surprised by Dev who queries the apparent overcharge on the invoice from the supplier. Charlie says he had already spotted it and had asked for an amended invoice. Dev however notes Shelley's expression (as does Charlie) and we know he will not leave it alone.

Ian and Sally are getting a little too close for comfort when Kev parks outside. Sally is on the desk and the files are on the floor when they Kev shouting for Ian. They split up and Sal tidies the mess up as Ian unlocks the door and lets him in. The car being returned has been repaired. Ian tells them to take the Porsche seen earlier for the weekend - Sal can bring it back on Monday! Outside she shows Kev the cheque - and so we go from one halfwit to two idiots with not a brain between them.

Katy leaves a message for Martin - all was well at the doctor and she wants to talk to him. Martin however is drinking in the Rovers and as he is by himself Tommy remarks that he must be "no mates Martin". Martin is obviously unhappy so Violet hoping to put things right tells him how distressed Katy was earlier in the day.

Meanwhile at the Weatherfield Arms we see Maria and Candice meeting some footballers - and a nice lad takes Maria's eye. Hard luck Tyrone - who has just been telling Tommy how certain he is of Maria that he has let her go out elsewhere this evening. Candice pretends she can speak Cockney (she will never make an actress that one) but the new lad - Stuart is obviously keen on Maria immediately.

Kirk has bought Fiz a watch which is the subject of some joking by the factory girls (and Sean). However Kirk manages to upset Fiz again almost immediately by telling her that women are bound to find him attractive (not a good move).

Dev has been through the accounts with toothcomb (which of course is a nonsense - the insurers would do all of this) and has identified that Charlie has effectively been ripping off the insurance company. He is going to sack Charlie and wants every excess penny adjusted. Rescue from the fire or no.

Apologies for the lack of humour tonight - timetable is against me!

Updates will return to your normal updater next Friday and I shall be along again when needed.

Cheers

K Richard W

Well all in all a violent episode tonight with weapons from frozen peas, to earrings to just good old fashioned punches! Which is something I would like to use on evil Charlie right now...

Dev and Sunita are discussing that very man at the start of the episode, Dev plans to have it out with him, but if you want a confrontation, look no further than Les' house, as a man knocks on the door, lamps him one for seeing his girlfriend then storms off. Cilla's not amused, but her face has the same bulldog chewing a wasp scowl as it always does...

Violet calls round to see Katy who is packing a case after a row with Martin. Violet tells her to calm down and tells her just to wait for him. Continuing Violet's journey, she heads to the pub where our good friend Charlie is telling Shelley that he's taking her out! He really is in a jolly mood, something which bemuses Violet who agrees to hold the fort.

Les is ranting about the injustice of being thumped but Kirk then offers him twenty quid which cheers him up. Only problem is it's to walk the dog of the man who punched him. But Les doesn't know that because Les is stupid.

Maria and Candice are sitting on the bench discussing the party, and Candice works out that Maria likes Stuart...in a more than placent way of course. At this point, Tyrone comes by to make an oaf of himself and re-invites Maria to dinner with Vera in The Rovers. She looks well excited....

Craig picks a pink wafer from the biscuit tin to harsh criticism from the oh so macho Tommy. Katy comes in, looking typically miserable. Angela invites her to stay for dinner and she reluctantly agrees.

Les is lying to Patrick and Eileen about fighting and makes on that he has a trail of women.

Dev is in Charlie's office, confronting him over the invoices. Charlie says he didn't think it would matter, but it evidently does...Dev's so angry he puts Charlie off the job. Charlie reminds him that he saved him and Sunita but Dev doesn't go back on his decision.

Les gets round to Thelma's house and tries to find the dog.

Shelley is asking Violet if she's okay with holding the fort. She's all right about it.

Vera and Tyrone order hotpot but Maria is clearly in a sulk. As Vera scalds her, she notices Stuart coming in with Candice and Warren.

The dog clearly doesn't like Les and who can blame it? Les finds himself chased upstairs like a raging mutt. If it was ginger then he'd have a hell of a deja vu experience!

Charlie is raging and we can tell this when he throws the paper on his desk across the room.

Another short scene with Violet and Shelley, perfume sniffing...one wrist is beer fumes, the other is perfume to really get Charlie going.

There's some obvious flirtation between Stuart and Maria before she returns to the table of fun with Tyrone and Vera. Vera invites her on the family holiday to Blackpool. Maria is unimpressed but she agrees to go

Cilla waddles in to the pub and asks Eileen if she's seen Les. Eileen takes delight in winding her up to the point she thinks Les has been a love cheat!

Les meanwhile is pinned by the dog. Cue the arrival of Thelma and Grant and Les has soon been thumped again!

Stuart catches up with Maria and the attraction is about as subtle as Candice's Footballer's Wives style suit a couple of weeks back!

Les is back, nursing a bruise and gets another one when Cilla hits him with a bag of frozen peas before banishing him to the couch.

Katy returns home, where Martin is back and there is a lot of awkwardness between them. She tells him she's started having cravings but hasn't told her parents why. But Martin should've known that as it would've been Tommy who'd paid him a visit.

Stuart is still giving Maria the eye as she informs Tyrone she can't go on the holiday

Violet tries to stop Charlie getting through to Shelley who is getting ready but that is the last thing on his mind. He launches a verbal attack on her for talking to Sunita about his business dealings!

Katy and Martin are still trying to sort things out. She is stopped when she picks up her bag and he accepts that they'll be having this baby.

Shelley is telling Charlie that it isn't her who is to blame but she reminds him that she did warn him about the fraud. Raging he storms at her, telling her if she doesn't want all the fancy gifts then fine, including the earrings which he grabs and tears from her ears, leaving two bloody gashes, before storming out in a rage. Shelley looks shaken.

What have we learned from tonight's episode?
Monica can't get enough of pig's ears
Bourbon creams are proper goth biscuits
Craig wouldn't call Rosie a moody cow
One shop is small potatoes
Vera could eat a scabby horse
The following was on the menu at the Harris household: Chicken, gravy, mashed potato (instant), roast potatoes, carrots, stuffing balls and peaches with evaporated milk

Awards
Most arguable comment: "You've done enough of that" Violet about Katy keeping her mouth shut
Most intelligent question: "Are ya in or out?" Tommy to Katy who was clearly in the house
Understatement of the week: "You've been a right moody cow lately" Craig to Katy
Best self assessments: "Me hair's a mess" and "I'm a mess" Katy

That's all from me this week.

Until next Sunday!!

Duncan Lindsay

Hi everyone, here Mondayâs first episode, an episode which features a lot of rather unhappy people .

We begin with Shelley sitting alone in the living room of the pub, wearing a dressing gown and looking grim and thoughtful. Charlie creeps in through the front door, and Shelley asks him where heâs been. He looks a little abashed and says he didnât think sheâd be up yet. She asks him again where heâs been and he tells her he stayed at the yard. He then goes off.

Liz is making breakfast in the flat as Maria and Tyrone talk about the fact that theyâre not going to Blackpool. Maria is not happy when she discovers that Ty still hasnât told Vera and Jack that they are not going with them. She urges Tyrone to tell them, sheâd do it herself but she doesnât want to hurt Veraâs feelings. Tyrone assures her that Vera will understand, she was young herself once.

Charlie arrives at Dev and Sunitaâs. He says heâs come to apologise and clear the air. ãI was in the wrong ö ok?ä he says. Thereâs a pregnant pause, then Dev snorts with scornful laughter. ãThatâs your apology?ä he asks. Charlie argues that it was nothing personal, he just did what anyone would do. Dev goes to shut his front door, and Charlie stops him. He then tells Dev that heâs sorry and he feels bad. He will get on to the insurance company and tell them he overestimated. ãItâs just money,ä he tells Dev, ãnot worth wrecking a friendship for.ä Dev accepts his apology and eventually shakes hands, but tells Charlie heâs not doing the other shops, he has already made other arrangements.

Martin and Katy are walking down the street. (And if Katy doesnât stop wearing her hair in those stupid bunches soon, I will scream and throw something!! Sheâs a pregnant mum for goodness sake, why is she trying to look like a nine year old? Ahem·.err, sorry for my little outburst, but enough is enough!) Anyway, Katy is wittering on to Martin about not sitting behind a desk for much longer, how they need a bigger flat and how she canât wait to tell everyone sheâs carrying his baby. Martin hastily tells her that theyâll just keep it to themselves for now. He reminds her of her exams coming up, but she canât see the point in continuing to study. He tells her that sheâs only pregnant for nine months, next year she can start studying again. ãA career lasts a lifetime,ä he tells her, ãa baby grows up.ä They talk about how her mum and dad will hit the roof, but Katyâs convinced that after a few days they too will be delighted.

Shelley is brushing her hair, gazing into the mirror in the back room of the Rovers. Violet comes in on her way to make tea in the kitchen. Shelley tells her sheâll do it later, even though Violet is gasping for a drink as she woke up late and hasnât had one yet. Violet then notices the blood on Shelleyâs ears, and Shelley tells her that sheâs allergic to the earrings Charlie bought her, and after her ear-lobes swelled up she stabbed herself trying to put them in. Violet appears to accept this explanation and goes off to start work in the bar.

Over at Royâs Rolls, Leanne tells Tyrone and Jack that Vera has not stopped going on and on about Blackpool. She is also very surprised when she hears that Ty and Maria are going too. Sheâs convinced that Maria wonât be happy going away with a load of old pensioners. ãTyroneâs not a pensioner,ä Vera corrects her. ãWell he looks like one,ä quips Leanne, (Tyrone looks aghast at this) ãand he acts like one!ä As Tyrone is leaving, he tells Jack and Vera that heâs got something to tell them later. They persuade him to tell them now, so he blurts out that he and Maria arenât going to Blackpool with them, they want to go somewhere on their own.

In their flat, Dev and Sunita are having a cozy chat about what happened, and how she nearly died. She assures him that sheâs fine now, and he tells her sheâs made his life complete. They swear that they will be with each other for ever. Aaah! (Is this a sign of impending doom?)

Stuart, Warrenâs footballer friend, walks into the salon and asks Maria for an appointment for a haircut. He doesnât have a hair on his head, and Maria, giggling a little, points out that he hasnât got much to cut off. He says that he will have eventually, so she goes to get the book. In the back room, Candice is quietly explaining to Audrey who he is. She tells Audrey that she thinks heâs gorgeous. ãWell, that makes three of you,ä remarks Audrey, dryly. Stuart asks Maria to meet him for a drink after work, but she refuses, somewhat reluctantly. He leaves her with his phone no. in case she changes her mind.

After the break we see Jamie pestering his dad. He wants to be made assistant manager at the factory, but Danny is not impressed. Jamie tells him he shouldnât be driving a van. ãWhy not?ä asks Danny, ãhavenât you passed your test?ä Jamie reckons heâs better than that but Danny will not be swayed.

In the pub, Vera is moaning to Jack about Maria, who is sitting at another table and seems well aware that they are talking about her. She gets up and goes to the bar and asks Violet to bring Jack and Vera two more drinks over to their table. She then goes and sits down with them.

Liz tells Shelley she thinks that Îlover boyâ i.e. Charlie, is up to his old tricks again, because people never change. Shelley goes out to the back and Violet tells Liz that Shelley has been odd all morning. Liz then notices that Martin is looking glum and asks him what the matter is as he doesnât look too cheerful. Martin tells them itâs just the way his face falls, inside heâs ecstatic.

Vera is still annoyed with Maria about the holiday and tells her that she thinks sheâs too good for them. Maria protests that she doesnât, but Vera says that if she cares for Tyrone sheâd make him happy and go to Blackpool. Maria then says ok, sheâs changed her mind, she will go to Blackpool. ãNot with us, you wont!ä retorts Vera, and then tells Maria sheâs a trollop! Jack tries to calm Vera down, but she wonât listen to him. Maria gets up and walks out of the Rovers and phones Stuart, telling him she will meet him for a drink after all.

Shelley and Charlie are sitting stonily in the back room of the Rovers. Violet comes in and tries to get Shelley to go out to the bar and see someone who is asking about malt whiskies. Shelley says that sheâs busy and tells Violet to deal with it. Violet starts to protest, but Shelley snaps at her, ãJust do it!ä so Violet goes. Charlie looks over and says, ãTemper, temper!ä

Shelley tells him sheâs heard he went to see Dev, and he starts to make sarcastic remarks about the bush telegraph. She tells him she met Sunita in the street. Charlie confesses that he had to apologise to keep Dev happy, and Shelley asks him if she gets an apology. Charlie seems amazed, ãWhy do you need one?ä She tells him he was vicious and nasty, and he hurt her. ãNot as much as you hurt me,ä Charlie retorts.

Audrey, Liz and Vera are some of the first customers in the newly opened corner shop which appears to have taken on the characteristics of the Tardis ö it suddenly seems much bigger inside. (Just as the Kabin did a few years ago, I seem to remember). Vera is still in a crabby mood and complains about the price of potatoes. ãTrust Vera to find something to complain about,ä comments Sarah, who is back in her old job. Vera says she canât be bothered to shop, and leaves in a hurry.

Back in the Rovers, Shelley and Charlie are still going over the events of the previous evening, at least, the events according to Charlie. He tells her she lets him down all the time, but she disagrees with this. He says that she may not intend to, but thatâs worse, it shows she doesnât care. He tells her she bullies him, and then wonders why he loses his temper. She reminds him how he pulled the earrings out of her ears and he admits he feels bad about that, in fact heâs disgusted with himself, but it was her fault for taking Devâs side. He adds that she sounded like a fish-wife, and no man likes that. She admits she was angry, and he says that so was he, but he has said sorry. Shelley says sheâs sorry too, and eventually they make up.

Out in the street, Leanne rushes over to Jamie, who is still driving the Underworld van. He moans that everyone gets what they want from his dad, except him, and after doing a full dayâs work he has to go out again. She offers to keep him company.

In the pub, Vera asks Tyrone where Maria is. He tells her sheâs gone out with some of her old school mates. Ty goes off to play darts, and Vera comments to Jack that Maria is up to her old tricks again. Jack thinks Vera is giving the girl a bad name and is on dangerous ground.

Angie is sitting at a table with Katy and Martin, and she asks Katy how her resit went, as she is worried about lying to Tommy - he thinks she passed it last time. Katy wonât commit herself to saying whether it went well or not, she just tells her mum that everything will be fine. Martin looks a little worried.

ãNo Shelley tonight?ä asks Audrey, over at the bar. Violet tells her Shelley has not been there for most of the day. Liz asks if sheâs still in a mood. Just then Charlie comes out from the back. ãYouâre looking good tonight, Liz,ä he says. ãGet lost!ä growls Liz.

Somewhere in town, Maria is in a bar with Stuart, but she tells him she canât stay long. He tells her he thinks sheâs special, and Maria is obviously flattered.

And thatâs it for part 1.

Anne Logan

Oh, happy happy, joy joy!! All hail the new goddess of scriptwriting, Julie Jones. And all you Canadians and Kiwis mark the date of this episode on your calendars. Yes, I know you'll be busy with Christmas by the time it shows, but it really is worth it.

The second episode from Monday opens in a street, where through a window we can see Maria refreshing her make-up. We move inside and see Stuart bring her a drink -- the kind with a lit sparkler as decoration. She seems to be feeling a bit guilty and reminds him that she's seeing someone. She sips her cocktail and likes it. "It pays to try something different now and again," he winks.

In a very different street, Jamie and Leanne get out of the van, which now sports a large scratch . . . well, more of a gouge, really. Leanne tells Jamie it's all his Dad's fault. If he'd given Jamie a promotion, Jamie wouldn't have needed to "do a foreigner" and wouldn't have been driving. Frankly, Leanne has taken to talking even faster than Vicki Pollard, so I'm not sure I can guarantee I've reported her correctly. Warren comes over and gives Jamie a hard time about the gouge. Leanne says all he needs to do is to hammer it out and stick some paint on it. Jamie is depressed because he can't take Leanne out tonight -- the £60 he got for delivering some skirting board will have to be given to his father to pay for the damage. Warren tries to cheer him up with the offer of a ticket to a new club that's offering free drinks all night, but he's only got one ticket. Stuart was going with him, but he's out with Maria instead. Leanne is very interested in this piece of gossip. "The two-timing little cow," she says gleefully.

In the Kabin (again with the shot from outside through the window, then moving inside -- new camera? new sets?) Sunita reveals to Rita that she's a bit apprehensive because she's going to the Weatherfield traders' meeting tonight. Rita and Audrey, who is also in the shop, offer to look after her. "We just have a little chat about things and swap useful information," Rita says. Norris is horrified at this description. The TA (traders' association, not territorial army, apparently) includes some of Weatherfield's most prominent movers and shakers. "I'm not sure it's the place for a shop girl," he says. Rita answers very sweetly: "You're my shop girl and I let you go." Norris is not fazed by this, but calls Sunita a neophyte, which is true, but the word startles the women. Audrey and Rita reinforce their promise to look after Sunita. Norris gives up by saying that all this female bonding is giving him a headache. "You'll be dancing round your handbags next."

In the pub, Danny is very sarcastic when he sees Jamie come in. Leanne starts chatting to Vera, quite obviously manipulating towards telling her about Maria. "She won't want Blackpool now she's gone all post," Leanne says. Vera denies that Maria's gone posh. "She 'asn't even got a crinoline lady on 'er toilet roll." But Leanne says Maria's new bloke is apparently loaded, and tells Vera what she's heard, then nips off to join Jamie and his family. Jack comes in and greets Vera with "Hello, my little Aberdeen-Angus." Vera tells him what Leanne has just said and that she has to go to Maria's flat and have it out with her.

Over at a table, Frankie is saying that because Jamie was late, it shows he's willing to put in the extra time if necessary. Danny counters that it just means he drives like an old lady on Mogadon. When it is revealed that Jamie was late because he crashed the van, Frankie is worried about Jamie being injured, but Danny is more worried about any damage to the van.

Shelley is in the back when Charlie comes in. He reaches out to stroke her hair and she flinches. Then SHE apologises. Charlie tells her he loves her and Shelley says she knows they belong together. "As long as you remember that we will be fine," he says. And she apologises again.

Out in the bar, Vera has come back because Maria's not home. She tells Jack she thinks they should tell Tyrone. Violet overhears Leanne's name and says Leanne can be a right mare. Vera calms down a bit. Tyrone comes over, saying he thinks Vera looks a bit peaky. He promises to make her a nice brew and a bacon butty when she gets home to perk her up.

Sunita comes home after the meeting to find Dev sound asleep on the sofa. It seems the president of the TA resigned and all hell broke loose. Dev starts to have delusions of presidency, but Sunita tells him that while her attention was distracted (she was counting the swirly bits on the curtain) she got nominated. "You could be married to the next president of the Weatherfield Traders' Association."

Back in the Street, Jack is knocking on the Baldwins' door. It takes exactly seven seconds for Warren to answer, despite the fact that he has had to get out of the shower, wrap a towel around himself (without toweling himself dry in the slightest), get downstairs, pull back the curtain to see who was as the door, and then unlock and open the door. I can only assume that Jack already knocked once while we were busy with the ad break.

We now return to the Rovers, where the three wise monkeys are lined up at the bar. They are, of course, Roy-speak-no-evil; Fred-eat-no-evil; and Norris-keep-no-evil-secret-but-gleefully-bring-it-out-into-the-light-and-pol ish-it-and-gild-it-and-inflate-it-and-pass-it-on-to-as-many-folk-as-possible . They all seem a bit dejected after a memorable meeting of the TA. Violet overhears them talking about it. "You've never joined the territorials!" she says to Norris. "I bet those boots were so big you could barely lift your little legs!" Fred reveals that the "personal reasons" leading to president Malcolm McKay's resignation were that his missus ran off with a grave digger from Eccles. Rita and Audrey come in a very bustling kind of way.

"Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble," mutters Norris to the others. "Have you been out on maneuvers with the TA?" asks Violet. "With my hips? I don't think so!" replies Rita. Norris gives Violet a telling off for mocking the traders. Fred says, looking below bar level, "Now, ladies, I've got a little summat down here that you might like to cast your eyes over." Audrey chokes as Rita replies: "There's no answer to that, Fred." But it seems Fred is the temporary custodian of the TA presidential badge of honour. Would they like to see it? "Haven't we had enough excitement?" Rita asks. He brings it out into the light and finds a piece of paper, headed "To whomsoever . . ." The note says it contains a secret which might stand the next president in good stead. Fred is quite excited, at least until he reads the secret. It's that the badge will benefit from being wiped twice weekly with a bit of Brasso! Over in the corner, Danny is threatening to take the cost of the van damage out of Jamie's wages. In trying to defend her boyfriend, Leanne inadvertently reveals that she was in the van at the time. When Frankie asks if she was giving Jamie "in-car entertainment" storms out, taking Jamie with her.

Jack tells Vera he's checked with Warren and everything is fine. and talks very fondly to Jack. Violet says she hopes she'll still be "at it" when she's their age, which horrifies Jack. Vera goes home to have a bath with some nice bath crystals in, waving a cheerful goodbye to Tyrone as she goes. Our wise monkeys have got around to discussing Sunita, who, Fred says, is a nice enough girl but not the stuff of which retail legends are made. He and Norris ask Roy if he'd ever think of running for office. In his reply, Roy manages to use the word "gravitas" and quote Winston Churchill!

Somewhere else in Greater Manchester, Stuart and Maria are parting, or maybe not. Maria thinks she should be going home, but Stuart says even though they hardly know each other, he's already got feelings for her

Back in the Rovers, Shelley is dropping things. Violet thinks it's because she's been overdoing the dieting. Just as Shelley is saying she'd love some crisps, Charlie appears and tells her she'll ruin all her hard work. He has a solution. Then he produces a large wall chart and graphic barometer. He's going to sponsor Shelley to lose weight, with the money going to the children's ward at Weatherfield General. He challenges the Rovers' patrons to add their own sponsorship, and he pins up the huge chart with Shelley's current weight in huge numbers at the top. Jack and Tyrone are talking about children. Tyrone wants Jack and Vera to be surrogate grandparents when he and Maria have children.

In Stuart's flat, the kitchen comes with strawberries, champagne, several kinds of coffee and one of those football table game thingies. Stuart thinks they should retire to the bedroom to eat the strawberries and drink the champagne.

We switch back to Jack and Tyrone. Tyrone was once left on a bus by his mother. But he would never leave his own children on any form of public transport. He reassures Jack that he and Maria have already discussed having children.

In Stuart's flat, Maria's guilt feelings have finally got to her and she tells Stuart she has to go. "I must be losing my touch," Stuart says. "No," she says, "you've been . . . " "Funny, good looking, charming," he suggests. Maria is determined to go, but Stuart suggests she keep her options open. "Why don't we do this again some time?"

In the Rovers, Jack finally tells Tyrone he's heard summat about Maria. He's heard she's seeing someone else and is not out with a girlfriend. Tyrone won't believe it, but the tears well up in his eyes as the credits roll.

The end.

Margaret Carr

On the menu in the Street tonight: Toast; bacon & eggs; cereal; yoghurt; a chocolate muffin; a doughnut; an Eccles cake; two hotpots; shepherds pie; six pizzas (featuring a variety of toppings including ham & pineapple); Chardonnay; lager; and lashings of tomato ketchup. But more on that story later·

ãSmashing up the van, burning toast, you seem to be cack-handed these days.ä Frankie is not impressed with Jamieâs culinary skills. She and Danny are eating breakfast; Jamie is incinerating his. Jamie thinks Frankie has been on at him ever since he started going out with Leanne. Danny tells his son to invite Leanne round for tea. ãI ainât having her in this house!ä Frankie says. Danny just wishes Frankie and Jamie would stop bickering while heâs trying to eat his breakfast. ãIâm not cooking for her!ä Frankie insists.

ãThen weâll order in,ä says Danny. Jamie reckons Leanne wouldnât come anyway, but Dannyâs having none of that, and tells Warren (whoâs minding his own business and eating his cereal) that he can bring Candice. Correction: he *will* bring Candice! And now we have The Danny Baldwin Recipe For A Happy Family: ãThree gentlemen; three ladies; six pizzas; a variety of toppings; lashings of lager; couple of bottles of Chardonnay.ä

Liz is worrying that Mariaâs choice of a yoghurt for breakfast wonât be enough: she might faint and have a nasty accident with a set of heated rollers. She asks what Maria got up to last night. Maria says she went out with Stuart, but theyâre just mates. Liz, not believing the ãmatesä line, says, ãIt sounds to me like youâve got a fancy man.ä Maria says she doesnât want to hurt Tyrone: ãWhen he looks at me and I see how much he loves me, I canât break his heart, I just canât.ä

Too late, love. Jack and Tyrone are in Royâs Rolls. Jack is repeating to Tyrone that Maria has been messing him about, but Tyrone isnât fully convinced. Jack tells him he canât bury his head in the sand, heâll have to talk to Maria and ask her about it.

Love is running more smoothly for Sarah, who is in the shop and has just received a text from Scooter informing her that his mum has made him egg sarnies and he hates egg sarnies. She relates this gripping news to Sunita, who along with Dev is busy restocking the shop shelves. Sunita mentions to Dev that sheâll have to take time off to go to meetings if she becomes president of the Weatherfield Traders Association (good grief, theyâll be asking her to join tâSquare Dealers next, I say theyâll be asking her to join tâSquare Dealers next). Sunitaâs getting cold feet now she realises how much work is involved.

Gail comes into the shop, and correctly guesses that Sarah is texting Scooter. She tells her to invite him round for tea (no-one is going to be having their tea in their own house at this rate). Sarah reluctantly says sheâll ask him.

A harder nut to crack is that Leanne. Sheâs in the cafŽ telling Jamie that thereâs no way sheâll be coming to a family tea chez Baldwin. Maria comes in to get cakes for the salon. ãHowâs Tyrone?ä Leanne asks her. Maria wants to know why sheâs asking. ãNo reason!ä smirks Leanne. Maria gives her A Look and leaves, bearing her cargo of sweet treats. ãDo you have to fight with everyone?ä Jamie asks Leanne. ãI only fight with the fools who pick fights with me, sweetheart,ä she smiles.

Dev and Fred are walking along the street discussing Sunitaâs qualifications to be the next WTA president: ãSheâs beautiful, charming, fragrant, highly proficient at everything she does,ä says Fred ö but she doesnât have enough experience. Whereas Dev does, and it could be the start of a great political career. ãIâll leave you to settle things with the missis,ä Fred says as they spot Sunita in the distance.

Tyrone is in the Rovers, a pint and a glass of white wine in front of him. Heâs looking unhappy. Kirk sits down opposite him, and Tyrone asks him to go away, because he and Maria need to have a private conversation. ãAbout what?ä says Kirk. ãItâs private!ä Maria comes in, and Kirk rushes over to her. ãTyrone needs to have a private conversation with you. Itâs serious!ä She sits down with Tyrone, and he asks her how her night out went. Sheâs tense and on her guard, especially when he starts talking about how people gossip and rumours spread. ãAnd are these stories about me?ä she asks. Tyrone pauses a second, almost says something, then bottles it. ãNo,ä he says, and mumbles something about a friend of Veraâs. ãAre you sure you donât want a hotpot? Iâm dead hungry,ä he says, and goes to the bar to order them, silently cursing himself that he didnât dare ask her what was going on.

(break)

Gail, Audrey, Sarah, David and Bethany are all assembled at home waiting for Scooter to appear. Sarahâs excitedly telling them that everyone calls him Scooter, even his mum and dad. Sheâs met them and theyâre really nice. She warns them that Scooter can be a bit shy at first but heâs lovely when you get to know him. The doorbell rings, and Sarah goes to answer it. Gail is fussing about giving David serviettes to put on the table. He goes to see whatâs keeping Sarah. ãHey, theyâre snogging on tâdoorstep!ä he says ö and they are, we can see them through the frosted glass.

Leanne has apparently changed her mind, because she and Jamie are on their way to his house, and heâs warning her to be on her best behaviour. Tyrone walks past them. ãHowâs Maria?ä asks Leanne mock-sweetly. ãSheâs fine I think,ä he replies, but as he carries on walking down the street he sees Maria getting into a cab.

At Gailâs, everyone is still waiting for Sarah and Scooter to come indoors. David offers to go upstairs and tip a bucket of cold water over them. Gail, a 21st century mother if ever there was one, picks up the phone and dials Sarahâs mobile number. But Sarahâs phone is in her bag, which is still in the house. David has a look at it, and is intrigued by the texts that his sister and her boyfriend have been sending each other ö theyâre not rude, apparently, theyâre boring. Gail proves her 21st century credentials further by using Sarahâs phone to ring Scooter. We see him and Sarah still outside, still joined at the face. When he answers the phone, itâs for Sarah and he passes it to her. Gail is already standing in the doorway. ãHello Scooter!ä she says, ãHope you like shepherdâs pie!ä

Itâs not going well at the Baldwins, where Leanne declines Frankieâs offer of Chardonnay, preferring lager. ãI always think lagerâs a rather loutish drink,ä Frankie says.
ãYou should try it; you might like it,ä says Leanne.
ãIâve got more taste,ä
ãReally?ä Leanne grins. ãDid they not have a mirror in the shop when you bought that top?ä
ãI never wanted you here.ä
ãI never wanted to come.ä
ãThatâs what I like to see,ä says Danny, coming into the room bearing cans of lager, ãEveryone getting on.ä He dishes out compliments to the girls. Warren wants to sit in the comfy chairs to eat his pizza, but his father tells him that ãall studies show that sitting around the table helps to make a happy and stable family dynamic.ä Frankie is quite specific about where Leanne should sit, and we discover the reason for this when Leanne sits down ö she sits on a fork.
ãI *thought* Iâd lost one,ä says Frankie. ãDo you want a clean one, or will that do?ä
ãYou did that on purpose, didnât you?ä Leanne accuses Frankie.
ãDo you want a cushion?ä Frankie offers.
ãYeah ö to ram down your throat!ä
A tense situation is saved by the bell ö the pizzas have arrived.

Tyrone is in the pub, looking very glum. Kirk and Jack ask him whatâs up. ãDid you ask her about the other fella?ä Jack says. This is the first Kirkâs heard of another fella, and he wants to know if his sister is two-timing Tyrone. An angry Tyrone says Maria isnât seeing anyone else, so everything is completely normal.

Dev and Sunita are in the Rovers too. He tells her heâs solved her problem about the presidency of the WTA: heâs withdrawn her nomination, and put his name forward instead. Sheâs annoyed ö she thinks itâs because he thought she wasnât up to the job. She says sheâll stand anyway, even if that means sheâll be competing with him. He says heâll stand down and support her campaign. She kisses his cheek.

Theyâre tucking into the shepherdâs pie at Gailâs (apart from Bethany, who has apparently given up and is playing on the floor). Scooter apparently ãworks with skipsä ö he found a lawnmower in one once: ãIt even had a full tank of petrol.ä David asks him if heâs ever found a dead body or a case full of money in one. He hasnât. Conversation with Scooter is hard work ö he generally answers ãyesä or ãnoä to most things (Audrey and Gail havenât acquired the art of the open-ended question apparently). Heâs very good with Bethany, though, which wins him the approval of Sarahâs female relatives. ãHe seems very nice,ä beams Gail, while heâs away in the bathroom. ãI like him,ä Audrey confirms.

Maria is in Stuartâs flat again, and theyâre talking about shoes. He wants her advice about which shoes go with a particular shirt ãbecause you are a woman of exquisite taste,ä he says (thatâll be why she has a handbag in the shape of a pink basque then). He flatters her, telling her that everything about her is perfect, then offers her the choice of a glass of wine or something stronger. She thought they were going out, but he says theyâll have a drink first.

Back to the happy and stable family dynamic that is the Baldwin home. Candice is wondering whose idea it was to put pineapple with ham on pizza: ãItâs brilliant!ä she enthuses. Leanne offers to assist Warren, who is incapable of getting ketchup to come out of the bottle. ãYou just have to whack it,ä she says, whacking it ö in the direction of Frankie, who gets it right in the face. Leanne protests that it was an accident, but Frankie gets up, walks around the table to where Leanne is sitting and smacks her in the face with a large slice of pizza. ãHowâs that for an accident!ä she shouts.

ãYou mad cow!ä Leanne squeals, jumping to her feet. Warren and Candice think itâs hilarious, Jamie and Danny try to calm things down. Frankie looks like Sissy Spacek at the end of ÎCarrie.â ãGet her out of my house!ä she yells, ãI mean it! Kick her out in the street where she BELONGS!ä She storms upstairs, followed by Candice. Danny orders Leanne to go into the kitchen, and tells Jamie and Warren (who is still helpless with laughter) to clear up the mess. In the kitchen, Leanne wipes her face with kitchen roll. Danny tells her that at her age Frankie was just like her, except she knew when to shut her trap, and Leanne doesnât. He wonât listen when she tries to interrupt him. He says he knows Frankie better than anyone, which means he also knows Leanne, and he says sheâs got to apologise and promise not to pick fights again, because sheâll win a lot more by not fighting. Frankie comes into the kitchen, followed by the others, and canât believe it when Leanne apologises and says sheâd like it if they could start again.

ãGet out of my house,ä Frankie says. Danny tells her Leanne is making a big effort, and he wants Frankie to give her a chance. Very grudgingly, Leanne and Frankie shake hands. Danny is pleased, and says they should all go and finish whatâs left of the pizzas, but judging by the looks Leanne and Frankie are giving each other, heâs being a bit over-optimistic thinking a truce has been reached.

Stuart is telling Maria that he wishes he had her there every day, ãto help me pick out my clothes, give me your professional opinion.ä (Hello? Sheâs a hairdresser and he hasnât got any hair·). He pours them both another glass of wine, while telling her thereâs nothing more important than confidence, both on and off the pitch. He gives her the glass of wine, and some waffle about wanting to be the best at what he does, takes the wine back off her again and puts his own glass down as well. ãIf you trust your instincts you can only ever make good decisions,ä he says, ãLike the right shoes to wear, the right drink to have. Whether to go· whether to stay.ä He kisses her, and Iâm not kidding when I say there are fireworks between them ö you can actually see them through the window behind their heads! Green ones.

Tyrone is walking alone along a dark and wet street, pulling the sleeves of his fleece over his hands for warmth, bless him.

Sue Haasler

We start tonightâs episode with Sally inviting Gail to come and see her in her new job. Tommy takes the mick out of Rosie and Craig for their Îgothâ look.

Liz asks Maria what sheâs going to do about Tyrone. Maria says that sheâs going to tell him but she thought she would cool things off with him first and let him see that theyâre going no where (sheâs so nice isnât she!). She says that she doesnât want to hurt him (!).

Jack is explaining to Chesney the wonders of the pigeon! Tyrone some how manages to relate the pigeons to his love life.

Sarah is kissing Scooter in the shop when Sunita asks her what kind of customer relations she is doing! Dev has been making some ideas for Sunitaâs acceptance speech but she wants to talk about it later.

Gail has arrived at Sallyâs workplace. Sally tells her how wonderful it is working there and how she feels that her boss feels more like a friend!

Sunita is telling Rita that sheâs going to make this year more positive. Norris says that heâs surprised that Dev isnât standing as heâs the business man but Rita tells him to shut up. Dev comes in and reads out the speech heâs been working on but Sunita isnât impressed. She tells him to let her write her own speech.

Sally is bragging about Ianâs house to Gail and flirting a bit. Gail cottons on to this and doesnât look happy about it!

Violet asks Martin how Katy is but he snaps at her. Fred is talking to Dev about Sunita. Neither of them thinks Sunita can do a good job. Tommy suggests that instead of just taking Rosie and Craig to the gig they could go in themselves. Angela says that she hopes heâs joking; he says he is but Rosie and Craig donât need to know that!

Tyrone is throwing bread to the pigeons when Stuartâs car pulls up outside Warrenâs house. Stuart tells Warren to pass on a message that he canât see Maria tonight but heâll be in touch. However, he tells Warren that he wonât actually call her.

Gail comes back home. Martin has just popped in and she asks about Katy. He starts to tell her but she interrupts him and asks if Kevin has said anything to him about what he thinks about Sally working in Ianâs garage. Martin says he probably thinks that heâs happy sheâs earning some extra money. Gail asks about Katy again but Martin says sheâs fine.

Maria is trying to get hold of Stuart to find out where they are going tonight but he isnât answering his phone. Liz asks if sheâs told Tyrone yet but she says that she hasnât seen him. She decides to go round to Stuarts flat.

Sunita is reading her speech to Dev. He seems to have a couple of problems with it though! She suggests that he stands so that everyone else can decide who they want. Warren remembers about the message he was supposed to pass on to Maria. Candice tells him not to tell her. Tyrone tells Jack that he didnât talk to Maria about this other Îfellaâ. He was worried that if he said anything sheâd dump him whether he was seeing anyone else or not (aaaaaahhh!).

Maria turns up at Stuartâs flat and tells her that he canât see her. She asks him if heâs got some with him and storms in to look. She finds a woman called Cindy. Cindy tells her that the reason why Stuart slept with Maria was because she was away and he took full advantage of the first trollop that offered herself to him. She asks Stuart if he is going to let her talk to her like that and he is so she slaps him. Stuart then throws her out.

The Îgothsâ have come to Tommyâs house. Tommy takes the mick out of them again. He and Angela then pretend that they are going to come to the gig with them which freaks them out! Angela canât control herself though and spills the beans to them that they were only joking!

Sunita tells everyone that both she and Dev are standing. She says that it stopped them fighting and this way whoever wins they will keep it in the family. Jack tells Tyrone that itâs his life and no one can live it for him. Jack tells him if it was him he would want to know whatâs going on so Tyrone asks if he thinks he should go round there.

Maria is crying and telling Liz about what happened at Stuarts flat. Tyrone comes round but Maria says she doesnât want to see him. Maria tells him that she was seeing someone else and all he wants to do is go round to his flat because he made her cry. Maria says sheâs a horrible person but Tyrone says she isnât when sheâs with him. Tyrone asks her to marry him but she canât see why as sheâs just told him that she was cheating on him (I canât see why either!). He tells her that he wants to make her happy so she says yes!

The End

Helen Edgar

We open with a delighted Tyrone making Maria a brew. Maria is saying that the bed is narrow but Tyrone clearly doesn't mind. He asks her if she's changed her mind. She hasn't (yet)

Sally decides to take Sophie shopping for some new shoes she wants. She hugs Kevin.

Ken is in the cafe when Norris pushes ahead and asks Roy about a book he's left. He has it returned and the trio bicker over the book, both Ken and Roy believing it to be a not so good read.

Gail tells Sally that she wants a quiet drink with her later. Sally looks worried

Tyrone and Maria have just broken their news to Jack and Vera, who seem less than pleased about it. Both Audrey and Violet congratulate them however. Candice wants to tell Tyrone about Maria and Stuart, but Audrey tells her to keep out.

Blanche and Ken come into the shop, where Norris brings up the topic of his book again. Blanche is keen to join the debate which inspires Norris to come up with a novel idea (Yes you should all laugh now): A book group!

Kevin is embarrassing millions of viewers by dancing to Rosie's music when Sally comes in. Bafflingly this leads Sally to the conclusion that he's a good dad.

Candice and Maria are discussing Stuart when Liz returns home. Liz is sceptical about Maria's feelings for Tyrone but she assures them that she does love him

Sally asks Kevin if he's happy. After a discussion it is concluded that they both are, and that money is an important contributing factor.

Fiz and Kirk are pleased about Tyrone and Maria's engagement but Maria is upset that hardly anyone else is pleased for them

The intellectual elite group of Weatherfield (or the book club) meeting has already caused ructions, namely with Roy sitting in Norris' chair. As an argument breaks out, Tyrone and Maria come in, offering drinks for everyone. Gail looks on, lips pursed. Apparantely Nick will be upset, for some unknown reason. Sally, who is with her, then becomes the topic of conversation. Gail has worked out that the man who fancies her is Ian.

Danny confronts Jamie about piles of tree in the back of his van, which is part of his and Kirk's business venture of selling planks of wood. But Danny is less than happy, and makes sure that Jamie know it

The meeting of literature continues, with much bickering. In the end, Norris gets his way, they'll read his book, and he declares the meeting closed!

Sally is singing Ian's praises to Gail. When Gail tells her not to let it get to an affair, Sally tells her it already is, but not to worry as she and Ian do not intend for anyone to get hurt.

So what have we learned today?
Liz works most Sundays
Maria and Tyrone's bed is a bit narrow
Shoulder of lamb, broccoli and roast parsnips were on the menu for Ken's dinner
Marriage is a big step, a biiiiig step
Ken believes in great literature
Hard Grinding is an epic tale of northern life in the hungry '30s
The right side of Fiz's shirt is missing, presumably torn by Schmeichal
Norris could win prizes for being pompous
No-one likes to find splinters in their knickers Jane Austen was an ostrich

Awards
Most adventurous person: "I was going to order a piece of cake" Ken
Most dangerous certainty: "This time it's for keeps!" Tyrone about his engagement to Maria
Best psychic: "I'm telling you, there'll be trouble" Audrey about the engagement
Understatement of the week: "I like to get into a good argument" Blanche
Most worrying omen: "I think I feel a brainwave coming on" Norris
Biggest blessing: "You can't hear yourself think" Sally over the music

Duncan Lindsay

Monday 31 January

Hi everyone, here is the first episode from Monday evening.

Itâs Tommy and Angelaâs 20th wedding anniversary. He gives her a plate which reads: ÎTommy and Angela ö 20 years together and still smiling.ä She gives him a cd of The Specials. This was the first record she ever bought him when she was trying to wean him off punk, but it was destroyed in the house fire in Sheffield. Craigâs present is a plate holder.

Out in the street, Norris and Ken are discussing the book club. Norris wants to give a talk explaining why his book was chosen, but Ken tells him that would eat into their discussion time, and now theyâve got two books to discuss. He explains that Roy wants to do a fiction and a non-fiction book. Norris starts to get agitated, and then Rita comes out of the Kabin. He tells her he wants to take a break but she hustles him inside, telling him he can have a break when heâs done something to have a break from.

Sally goes over to the Harrisâs to drop off the keys to the garage. She tells Tommy that Kevin has gone to Oxford to deliver a car for Ian. Tommy is very impressed and, seeing Gail coming down the street he calls out, ãHey, Gail, have you heard this?ä and tells her that Sallyâs boss is paying Kevin to deliver a posh car to Oxford. Gailâs face is a picture of disapproval when she hears this. Sally seems a bit embarrassed and tells Tommy that sheâs sure Ian would be happy to let him deliver one sometime, sheâll mention it to him. She then sees Rosie coming out of the house and makes her escape, telling her sheâs going to be late.

Gail, however, follows her over and says, somewhat sarcastically, ãWell, if youâre late Iâm sure your boss will be lenient with you.ä Sally tells Gail she wishes she hadnât said anything, she thought she could trust her. Gail says that she can be trusted not to say anything to anyone else, but she canât trust her not to have an opinion on what sheâs doing. Sally tells her she knows what sheâs doing.

Over at their flat, Katy is suffering with morning sickness. Martin points out that her last resit is on Wednesday and then she can concentrate on the morning sickness.

In the Rovers, Shelley is talking to Violet and Sunita, telling them that no matter how hard she works at the gym, sheâs not losing any weight. Sunita has someone coming to see her about the Tradersâ Association and she asks Shelley if sheâll keep her company. Charlie turns up and interrupts, saying that Shelley could have been to the gym and back before Sunitaâs visitor arrives. When Sunita goes, Charlie tells Shelley that she shouldnât let Sunita manipulate her. (Excuse me?) Shelley tells him that Sunita is just nervous and wants some support.

Katy runs into Tommy out in the street and tells him sheâll drop off their anniversary present later. Tommy says heâs been able to wangle a drive to Cardiff on Wednesday and suggest she goes with him as that was one of the universities she was interested in. Obviously, Wednesday is the day of Katyâs resit, but she canât tell him that, so she just makes excuses as to why she canât go. Tommy gets angry because he thinks that Martin is influencing Katy away from university.

Gail calls on Sally for a chat, she wants to tell her how she feels. ãOh, all right ö come in,ä says Sally, rather ungraciously. Sophie is at home with a letter about a school trip to the Eden Project. ãCan I go?ä asks Sophie. Sally says she can and then sends her upstairs.

When theyâre on their own, Sally tells Gail that for the first time she feels appreciated both professionally and personally and now they can afford things like the school trip. Gail tells Sally that itâs bound to come to an end and it will be Sally who gets hurt. She tells her that Ian wonât be contributing to her pension scheme. She adds that thereâs a name for women who do things for money, and Sally is quite offended. ãYou make me sound like a prostitute!ä she says. ãHow would Kevin feel if he knew?ä asks Gail, but Sally is still adamant that no one will get hurt.

Just then Rosie comes in for her dinner, accompanied by Gemma. Rosie asks if Gemma can have dinner with them as Justine didnât make her any sandwiches. As they go off to wash their hands, Gail repeats that Sally will be hurt in the end, itâs just a matter of when.

Angela comes home for dinner to find Tommy in a bad mood over Katy. She talks to him about their first anniversary and how they went to a fancy dress party. He remembers that Ange went at one of Panâs People, and he went as a pirate. She corrects him and says she went as plankton.

Back at the Websterâs, Sally discovers that Gemma has had no breakfast, her mum wasnât up, and now sheâs crying all the time. Gemma says she has Îcrybabyitisâ and Sally looks shocked.

Roy and Blanche have been out buying copies of ÎHard Grindingâ. It cost Blanche a lot as she had to have large print. Roy thinks there are passages in this book that shouldnât be in large print. Norris comes in and accuses them of plotting behind his back ö heâs going to call another meeting of the book club.

Ian arrives back at work for a meeting with a customer. Sally stops him and asks if Justine knows about them, she tells him what Gemma said. Ian is in a hurry to get to his customer, but says he will talk to Sally later.

Katy tells Martin she thinks she should tell Tommy she failed her first exams and it looks like sheâll fail the resits too, oh, and by the way ö sheâs pregnant! Martin is shocked and does not agree, so Katy says they should go and buy Angela and Tommy an expensive present.

In the pub, Norris is holding an extraordinary meeting of the book club. Roy says that the books chosen should have some educational merit, although Ken doesnât agree. Norris says theyâll take turns in choosing a book. Blanche says they have to come in large print. Norris then whips out a magnifying glass. ãIs that what you use to make mountains out of molehills?ä asks Rita, dryly.

Back at Davenports, Sally answers the phone. Itâs Justine wanting to speak to Ian. Just then Ian is showing his visitor out, and Sally tells him that Justine is on the phone. Ian says heâll take it in his office, so Sally puts the call through. She then goes up to the office to listen to the conversation, which seems to be about something that is broken. When heâs finished the call, Sally asks Ian about Justine crying all the time, and tells him what Gemma said. Ian tells her that Justine is a very complex woman. Sally confesses to Ian that she has told a friend about them, and although she now wishes she hadnât, she knows the friend wonât say anything.

Martin and Katy arrive at the Harrisâs house, with a large, gift wrapped box and some champagne. Martin congratulates Tommy and Angela and holds out his hand. Tommy reluctantly shakes it, as Angie goes to open the champagne. Martin quietly tells Katy not to say anything and spoil the evening.

Sunita is asking a blindfolded Shelley to test-taste some new food sheâs thinking of selling in the shop. As Shelley tastes a tiny piece they laugh, and Shelley says sheâll have to do an extra 20 minutes on the treadmill. Just then, Charlie comes in. ãWhat are you doing? Force feeding her?ä he demands. He then shouts at Sunita, accusing her of not being able to see Shelley succeed, telling her that because sheâs not got an ounce of fat on her bones it doesnât mean she can be cruel to Shelley. Sheâs jealous, spiteful and selfish! He then storms out of the room, leaving Shelley and Sunita stunned.

Back at the Harrisâs, Angela sets out the new crockery that Martin and Katy bought them, and Tommy mutters about dipping into the university fund. He then starts a row as he blames Martin for not wanting Katy to visit Cardiff University. He wonât believe Katy when she says itâs not Martin holding her back.

Then Katy says she might not go to university at all. ãWhat?ä demands Tommy. ãLeave it, Katy,ä warns Martin, but Katy takes no notice. ãI might not go to university because Iâm pregnant!ä says Katy. There follows a stunned silence!

And catch the next episode to find out what happens next!

Anne Logan

Over now to episode two, which takes up right where the first episode finished.

"I didn't expect you to be happy about it," Katy says. "I just thought you should know." Angela says they've obviously decided to keep the baby. "You're going to be grandparents, congratulations," she says sarcastically. Tommy says he's not surprised. He's been expecting this. He knocks over the crockery as he says "Get out of my house!" Martin is ready to go, but Angela tells them to stay where they are. Tommy disagrees (boy, does he disagree!). "If that man stays in my house another second I am going to kill him!" Angela insists she wants them to talk like grown-ups, but Tommy says she can talk all she wants, it's not going to change a thing. "I'll put the kettle on," Angela says.

Shelley is very angry. "How dare you," she fumes at Charlie. He can't talk to her friend like that. She tells him she's sick of him interfering in her life. "So I'm going to try a few snacks with my friend. So what?" A very subdued looking Charlie says she's right. He gets up and goes outside, but as soon as he's outside the door his hang-dog demeanor changes and he lashes out with a kick, startling a women using the phone box.

Back in the Rovers, Shelley tells Sunita that Charlie is really sorry. Sunita says she has to go. Ashley and Claire are having a drink and Ashley says he'll just let Fred know where they are. He calls home.

As the phone rings, Fred wakes from a doze, picks up a large shoe and holds it to his nose. Something wet spills out. Ashley tells Fred they will be about half and hour and Fred begins to panic. The floor is littered with perfume bottles. Josh is busy emptying more of them into various shoes. "Nah, no good," the wee man says. "Not good, no," agrees Fred. "No, not good, no," Joshua echoes.

In the Harris household, Tommy is still angry. He's not drinking out of some poncy thing like this. Do they think buying some fancy plates will make things up? He and Angela are in the kitchen. Martin and Katy are arguing on the sofa. He would have liked some say in how they told Katy's parents. As they get their tea, Katy makes a banal comment about tea supposedly tasting better out of china. Martin says he prefers his out of a mug. Tommy pounces on the word "mug". Katy insists she's not a mug. She knows what she's doing. She tells her parents the pregnancy was planned. And anyway, Angela wasn't much older when she had Katy. Tommy points out that that was not planned, and she didn't have someone almost twice her age twisting her arm. Katy snatches at this implication that she wasn't wanted. She tells them that her baby will be more loved than she ever was. Martin tries to settle things down, telling Angela and Tommy that he knows no parents could love their children more than they do. In fact, they've done a brilliant job and he loves the daughter they brought up.

Audrey has arrived at Fred's and wants to know what that smell is. It's making her eyes water. "What is it? I say, what is it? It's Paco Rabanne, Aramis, Angel, Calvin Flaming Klein, Anais Anais, Old Spice, every flamin' bottle!" he tells her about Joshua's trick with the perfume. Joshua has emptied every bottle in the house. Audrey suggests a little dab behind the ear would have done the trick, but Fred isn't in the mood for jokes. "It's not on me!" he says. "Well . . . a bit. It's in the shoes, mostly." Audrey asks if he's tried those insoles you can get. "It's not a foot odour problem," Fred says. "It's a Joshua problem." He says no-one in the house has a foot odour problem. Audrey isn't so sure. "Maybe the little tyke's trying to tell you something." Fred is panicking. He thinks Ashley and Claire will never leave Joshua with him again. Audrey tries to calm him down and sends him up have a shower and get ready for his meeting with Dev.

In the Weatherfield Arms, Liz has some sneering words for Charlie when he comes in. "What brings you here?" she asks him. "Not the barmaid, that's for certain," he says. Liz thinks Shelley has given him his marching orders. Then Charlie is approached by a young woman wanting to know if he wants to buy some razors. He tries to brush her off, but then she suggests he take her out. She likes a man with stubble. Charlie says OK and they go outside.

A few feet away from the door he slams her up against the wall, grabs her by the collar and says he "wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot cattle prod, you filthy cow. So why don't you take your knock-off razors and slit your worthless wrists with them." Then he kisses her on the cheek and lets her go.

Back in the bar he tells Liz he's just been doing her job for her -- getting rid of undesirables. It's a specialty of his.

At the Harris's, they are sitting down and they are talking. Angela says Katy and Martin will have to move. She's worried whether they can afford it. Tommy says it seems university won't happen, but Martin points out that it might be delayed a bit, but they can manage and there's no reason Katy should give up on it. As this discussion goes on around her, Katy has had enough. "Will you all stop trying to plan my life for me!" she rages. She thinks they're treating her like a child. Angela points out that Katy will always be her baby. "Yeah, the one you never wanted!" spits Katy. WHACK!! And at the same time as Angela watches her own hand connect with her daughter's face she's already saying "Oh, god, I'm so sorry!" But it's too late. Katy is gone.

Katy is racing down the street with Tommy after her. He tries to explain how he and Angela feel. "If you have this baby, you'll know how me and your mum feel." He explains that from then on, everything Katy does will be for her child. "All I have ever wanted to do is protect you." He's wanted to look after her and see she gets the best of everything, including the best education she possibly can. Katy tells him she has Martin now. Tommy tells her that Martin now has her just where he wants her. By falling for someone almost half his age, he's proved he has no self control. If she'd gone off to university, she would have been mixing with others of her own age, and Martin was scared he would lose her. Now that she's pregnant, she's tied to Martin, Tommy says. He tells Katy she doesn't have to go through with having the baby. Once again she tells him she wants to go through with it. Katy goes into the flat and shuts the door in her father's face, pausing just long enough to tell him that if she and Martin marry, Tommy won't be invited.

Angela and Martin are talking. Angela is telling him that she wanted to train as a nurse. She and Tommy had their lives planned. He would work while she trained, then they would both work and would be able to have a nice house and foreign holidays. Instead, she ended up working in a knicker factory. She weeps as she tells him that she loves her children and doesn't regret what she gave up to have them. "But why couldn't you have waited?" she asks Martin. Martin is being quite loyal to Katy and never mentions that he had no part in the decision. He even tells Angela it's not too late for her to train as a nurse. A baby doesn't have to get in the way of Katy's future. Tommy comes back and tells Martin to get out.

In the Weathy Arms, Shelley comes looking for Charlie. He tells her to sit down and have a drink with him. He goes to the bar. "She's come running, has she?" Liz asks. "They always do," Charlie tells her.

Ashley and Claire are home and Audrey tells them Fred is upstairs. As she goes to get her bag, Ashley whispers to Claire: "Whew! She stinks!" When Ashley tries to change his shoes, putting on a perfumed pair, Audrey tells them that while Fred was making her a cup of tea, Josh had an accident while her back was turned. An accident with all the perfume and all the aftershave. As Claire dashes upstairs to sort out the young man, Ashley goes into the garden and sees a whole lot of shoes dangling from the clothes line.

Angela and Tommy are on their sofa, talking quietly. They discuss the fact that it was Angela who turned to violence this time, not Tommy. Tommy confesses that he'd popped a button on his trousers when they gave him the news about the pregnancy, and you can't really fight with your trousers round your ankles. "You are my own personal incredible hulk," Angela tells him. "Their" song comes on the radio and they have a moment of nostalgia. "Twenty years, eh?"

Their daughter, meanwhile, is raging that they have no understanding of what true love is. They said Katy and Martin would never last and here they are, still together a year later (Subtext: Gosh, one whole year?) "We're still together and we're even having a baby, and still they can't accept it." She rants for several minutes without Martin saying a word. "Still, at least it's all over now," she finishes. "And you didn't even get punched or get knocked through a garden fence." "Yeah, there is that," sighs Martin wearily.

Charlie tells Shelley that it was all his fault. He couldn't help himself. "It's in me." He refuses to tell Shelley what he means until she pleads that she has to know what makes him tick. Then he tells her this absolutely rubbish story about his older brother, Eddie, and how Eddie's best friend persuaded him to try smoking dope and one thing led to another and the last time Charlie saw Eddie, Eddie was trying to sell knocked-off razors in the street -- anything to get a fix. And now Eddie's in prison but the best friend has his own business. Shelley falls for the whole thing, and as she hugs Charlie he winks at Liz. Charlie tells Shelley he should have done something to help Eddie, and when he saw Sunita pushing all that food at Shelley . . . And Shelley, fool that she is about him, forgives him.

The End. Roll credits.

Margaret Carr

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Updates written by K Richard Whitbread, Martin Rosen, Ann Logan, Peter Webb, Margaret Carr, Mary Earlam, Amanda Souter.

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