Well, the North Ronaldsay whist drive was a raging success, so here I am back and ready to go with Friday's episode.

There's snow blowing around the Street as Norris and Rita get into a taxi, arguing over who will pay. Emily, wearing a very fetching plastic rain hat, rather mournfully sees them off. Norris seems particularly excited and keen to get there. Poor Emily seems a little sad at being the Cinderella. Further down the street, Keith and Audrey are ready to leave. Keith thinks the dinner suit feels uncomfortable and that whoever took it to the charity shop needs his bumps feeling. David comments that his gran told his mother that she bought it new. He's immediately sent to Simon's (whoever that is) as World War III threatens to break out between Keith and Audrey. Keith is offended. "I bet you've all had a ruddy great laugh at me," he says. "What do you take me for -- some kind of gigolo?" Now that DOES make Audrey laugh. He packs a sad and stomps away.

At the event of the year, Liz and Diggory arrive, with Liz trying to detach him from her arm. He comments how proud he is to have her on his arm. "Well, you are paying me time and a half," she points out. Diggory doesn't want her thinking of him as a boss. Or a baker. Or even as the president of the traders' association. "No, tonight, Elizabeth, I am a man." He looks her up and down and then, the Peter Skellern moment, "And you're a woman." And as he's called away to greet a trader, Liz and the band's drummer catch each others' eye. For any of you who have watched that-soap-that-shall-not-be-named-but-its-initials-are-EE, he is played by Ian Reddington, who used to be "Tricky Dicky" Richard Cole, the market inspector who has flings with Bianca, Kathy Beale and Cindy Beale. He looks perfect for Liz -- hair too long for someone his age, orange perma-tan, 70s shirt with pointy collar.

Eileen and Deirdre arrive at Frankie's to see how she is. Carol manages to get in a dig about how she never had any mates when Danny left her. "I am so glad you two've come round," Frankie whispers to the others as Carol leaves the room.

Liz is still exchanging glances with the drummer, Fred and Bev are dancing, Norris is networking, to the disgust of Rita and Audrey. "I wouldn't mind, but they're hardly business tycoons," Rita says. "Him wi't bald head runs that wallpaper shop near't Flying 'Orse." Audrey says fellas have bought her dresses and flowers and she's never thrown them back. They fall to discussing men as they make sure all the bottles on the table are empty. Rita says she's had folk come up to her and congratulate her tonight, and one man slapped Norris on the back and told him what a lucky fellow he was.

Over by the drums, Liz is fondling the drummer's drumsticks. He tells her they're the best you can buy. "I tried the cheaper ones, but the resonance wasn't the same." He asks if she's there with anyone in particular and she says no. As he turns to go back to his drum kit, she makes him pause while she brushes some imaginary lint off his waistcoat -- an intimate gesture that is noticed by Diggory.

Jamie meet Leanne on his way from the chippie. She tells him she knows it was her fault, but she can't stand for them to be like this. What they had was good. She hates herself for ruining it. "I hate you for ruining it, too," he says bitterly. She tells him she loves him. He says he's been hurt enough. She wants them to go away and start afresh. She begs for just one last chance. Jamie doesn't say a word but just walks away and Leanne sinks down against the pub wall, where she's discovered by Danny. He offers to make her a coffee and then puts his coat around her as they walk off.

Back at the traders' do, Liz goes to sit by Rita. "Are you and Norris....?" "We're just business partners," Rita says firmly. Liz has just been talking to Norris who gave her quite a different impression. Audrey goes to sit with Fred and tells him she knows he's put out because she asked Keith and not him. As the band launches into a bit of jive, Audrey tries to get Fred on to the dance floor, but he says he's spoken for and drags a startled Bev on to the floor.

At Danny's, he's pointing out that if she'd stayed with Jamie she would have been bored. If she hadn't slept with Danny, it would have been with someone else. "Right, so I'm just some slag, am I?" She thinks he's been telling himself that to avoid taking any responsibility for what happened. "You didn't even try to get to know me." "It was sex, Leanne," he says. "There was no need to get to know you." He tells her that even if she talked Jamie into taking her back, "You're only going to hurt him again, aren't you?" Leanne is very down. "Why am I like I am? Everything I touch just crumbles," she says, bursting into tears. Danny takes her into his arms.

Over at Frankie's, she says Danny loved her. "He told 75 guests and a vicar he loved me," Carol says. "It didn't stop him ruining me live, though." Deirdre points out that she and Danny haven't been together for 20 years, so she can't blame him for everything that's happened. Carol comments that she hates being sober, because it makes her remember everything too clearly. She heads for the loo. Frankie tells the others that it's hard for Carol. "She's used to blotting everything out." "And I thought living with my mother was hard," Deirdre says. Frankie starts justifying Danny's behaviour but says she won't let him ruin her life. But she's going to cancel her lawyer's appointment and give Danny another chance. "I can't make myself stop loving him."

Back at the ball, belles Liz and Audrey are on the sideline when the drummer winks at them. Liz looks quite flattered, but it makes Audrey flinch. "His name's Vernon," says Liz. "He's got a lovely wrist action." Audrey comments that she didn't think much of the dinner. At £25 a pop, you'd expect something more original that roast chicken. "I've never been out with a musician," Liz says. Audrey thought she was going out with "that baker chap." "I'd have to be more than desperate to go out with Diggory," Liz says very loudly. Loudly enough, of course, for Diggory to hear. He swipes a glass from a passing tray and drains a glass of red wine in one gulp.

Beverly is trying to reassure Fred that Ashley will be all right. He thanks her and she comments that she's had a lovely evening. "Have you seen Fred and Ginger?" We see Norris and Rita doing a very strange dance indeed -- it's sort of a solo flamenco by each, completely out of time with each other. "Which one's Ginger?" asks Fred.

Norris complains that Rita isn't keeping up with him because she's had too much to drink. "My problem is you letting all and sundry think we're an item," she says. Norris pooh-poohs the whole idea. "Nobody believes we do any more than share a counter. Anyway, it's obvious I'm years younger than you." She flings him out of her way and carries on dancing!

Frankie knocks on Danny's door and doesn't comment when he answers it wearing very little. "Hi," she smiles, stepping close to him. "Can I come in?" "Now?" he asks. She suddenly clicks that he's not dressed and rushes to the bedroom, turning and fleeing the flat with a horrified look on her face, with a depressed-looking Leanne emerging from the bedroom.

Keith approaches Audrey. He apologises for being stupid and stubborn and asks her to dance. But she says no. She's been stuck there all night having a miserable time and it's all his fault. She spent money on him because she thought he was worth it. "I so wanted to be held on the dance floor by someone I thought cared about me," she says, "not someone who behaved like some spoilt kid." She tells him they're finished.

As the dance finishes, a drunk Diggory take the mike. "I'd just like to say a few words," he starts. "Shame!" shouts Fred. Diggory goes on, his speech punctuated in a very insolent way by the drummer. Diggory battles on, telling everyone he's resigning before his year as president is up. After this is punctuated by a boom-boom and everyone giggles, Diggory shouts they should all have a good laugh. "After all, anything's better than listening to the boring fat man on stage! Well don't worry. The fat man isn't going to bore you for much longer." He says the post means nothing but disappointment. Disappointment has hung like a vulture over him his whole life. Never picked for games. Turned down by the army. His wife only married him for his money. "And when she'd spent it all, she ran off with me accountant." Behind him, the drummer strikes a beat and the band starts up again, with folk turning away as Diggory says "No-one ever sees beyond the fat man. I've got feelings." Liz watches very shamefacedly. Diggory slumps down and has another drink. Fred tells Bev it's all Diggory's fault for setting his sights too high. "He should have stuck with Mildred, from't wool shop." Blokes like he and Diggory should know their limitations. He hurriedly apologises to Bev saying he feels very honoured she agreed to go with him. Bev tells him he and Diggory are nothing alike. It's like comparing prime fillet with a bit of scrag end. "Eee, who's coming out with the butchering metaphors?" he asks. He says she does him a power of good, and kisses her. She doesn't seem to object.

Frankie arrives home and collapses weeping on the sofa.

Back at his flat, Danny tells Leanne that he's realised he'll never get back with Frankie. "This is it," he says. "For both of us this it is. I suppose we deserve it, eh, this nothing?" She agrees. "You may as well stay the night," he says, looking out at the rain. "Yeah, I might as well," she says dully.

The End
Margaret Carr

We open in Danny's residence. He's sitting looking very pensive at the table, when Leanne wanders in from (presumably) the bedroom. She declines his offer of anything to eat, saying she thinks she'll go home and get changed. Danny says he's going to go over to the factory, there's paperwork to catch up on. As she goes to leave, Leanne says, "I suppose she's going to tell Jamie, isn't she?" Danny sighs and agrees that Frankie probably is.

Over at Frankie's house, Carol is just about to drag Jamie off round the shops to buy him a new suit. Now that he's working for Penny, and is a rising star in management with a company car, he needs one. Jamie points out that he's a trainee manager with a clapped-out runaround. Carol however, is really proud of him, and says that Penny is lucky to have him. She won't take no for an answer as far as the suit is concerned. "This is your mother talking," she tells him firmly.

All this time, Frankie has been standing there, looking both devastated and apprehensive at the same time. "I went to see your dad last night," she starts to say, but Jamie rounds on her, "What did you do that for?" he demands to know. "What has he done to you this time?" Frankie loses her nerve, "Nothing," she says, and tells him she got halfway there and then changed her mind. As soon as they've gone out of the door she bursts into tears.

Over at the Webster's house, Sophie is bored. Sally suggests she plays with her guinea pig, but Sophie reckons he's boring too, all he does is sit and squeak. Sophie then decides that she's going round to see Nicolette, but Sally tells her she's not. "She's not your type and you have nothing in common with her," she says quickly, and then decides that they're all going to Alderney Edge woods for a picnic. Kevin looks up aghast. "It's December!" he protests, but Sally reckons they're not going to let a bit of cold weather put them off.

Over the road, Ashley is home from hospital with a large pad over one eye, and propped on the sofa with lots of pillows round him, to keep movement to a minimum. He's (understandably) in a very negative frame of mind, and Claire is doing her best to stay positive. His patience wears thin and he snaps at her, saying it's "Claire's philosophy on life, be nice to everybody, always look on the bright side and you'll go to heaven when you die." He then tells her to just go to work. She tells him to just go on feeling sorry for himself, and leaves the house very upset.

Over in the back room of the Rovers, Shelley, Sean and Sunita are asking Bev how the ball went. Bev tells them that Liz dumped Diggory for the drummer, and Audrey had a huge row with Keith and went home, but Shelley is more interested in hearing how she got on with Fred. She tells her she thought she'd be flashing a diamond around and choosing wedding invitations. Bev just smiles and assures them that Fred was the perfect gentleman. At that very moment the door opens and Fred himself is standing there. He asks if anyone needs a hand with anything, and Sean says he can help him set up the bar. Fred smiles at Bev and then goes off with Sean. Shelley sees the smile, "Come off it, there's more to it," she says. Bev admits that they might have had a 'sort of' kiss. Shelley is aghast. "With Fred? With his track record?" and tells her mother he'll be pestering her for another date, and she deserves all she gets. Bev just smiles, "'Appen I do," she murmurs.

Over at the factory, Mike walks in and finds Danny drinking his finest malt whisky. They start talking about the missing cheque and Mike tries to bluff his way out of any blame by saying that someone at the bank lost it. Danny, however, knows the truth, Penny has told him. Mike then invites Danny home to the Sunday lunch that Penny is cooking, but Danny declines. Mike tells him he'd be doing him and Adam a great favour, they wouldn't have to ask for seconds, Penny's a terrible cook. Danny laughs and says, "That's supposed to tempt me, is it?"

Back in the Street, the Websters have arrived home from their picnic. Sally thought it was lovely, Kevin thought it was freezing and wants to go and warm up with a pint in the Rovers. Sally, however, is just planning to get the Monopoly board out for a family game when the dulcet tones of Nicolette ring out across the cobbles. "Hiya Auntie Sal!" Sally is less than delighted when Sophie rushes over and hugs her cousin.

Over at Mike's, they are just finishing a lunch of very tough lamb. Penny warns Adam to behave or she might just give him pudding as well! As she starts to clear away, she sees Mike taking clean cutlery out of the drawer and asks him what he's doing. He tells her he's going to set the table for dinner. Penny whispers to him, "Mike, we've just eaten dinner." Mike snaps at her that she's always on his back lately, and puts the cutlery back in the drawer.

Over a drink, Danny tells Mike that Frankie is filing for a divorce, and he might just pack it all in and go back to London. Mike is horrified, and tells him he can't do that. Danny asks why not, neither Jamie or Frankie want him. Mike tells him they are not the only family he's got, but Danny reckons he can't feel something he never has, it's just not going to happen.

Frankie is in the Rovers, drinking alone. Tracy, Nathan and Charlie are sitting watching her. Tracy starts making some very nasty remarks about her, and how she seduced Danny, a grown man, when she was a sixteen year old. She then decides to ask Frankie to join them, and goes and invites her over.

Across the road, Claire has arrived home and apologises to Ashley for that morning. He apologises to her too, and tells her he's just scared.

Outside, Nicolette and Sophie are sitting on the wall, with Chesney nearby sitting on the kerb. Just then David comes round the corner on his bike, and Nicolette whispers to Sophie that he's a bit of all right. She then tells David that if he gives her a pound she'll give him a snog. David declines her offer, and rides on past. Nicolette then offers the snog to Chesney, who also refuses. (Only not quite as politely as David!) Chesney then asks Sophie if she can't get rid of Nicolette, as he's found a great place to build a den, but Sophie tells him she's got better things to do.

Gail and Audrey then come along, and Gail tells the girls to get off her wall. Nicolette rudely refuses, telling Gail, "You're not using it!" At that moment Sally comes out of her house, and Nicolette calls out, "Hiya Auntie Sal!" Gail asks Sally if she would ask her niece to get off her wall. Sally tries to say that Nicolette is not her niece but Sophie says that she is, and Nicolette says that her Auntie Velda has told her that when Sally was her age she was a right tearaway. Sophie is delighted to hear this, but Sally is clearly not. She pulls some money out and tells them to go and buy sweets or something. As they go off a very embarrassed Sally turns to Gail and Audrey and tells them that it was generations removed, and she thinks Nicolette was adopted!

Over at the Rovers, Shelley decides to take matters into her own hands. She tells Fred that Bev has told her all about the previous night and is embarrassed about it. Fred is a bit mystified. "I don't know why," he says, "it were summat and nowt, to be honest."

By now, Frankie is very much the worse for wear, nearly falls over trying to get out to the loo. Charlie grabs her and pulls her onto his knee, saying he's going to take her home. Nathan jumps up then and pulls Frankie off Charlie's knee and says he'll take her. Tracy tries to protest that Charlie offered, but Nathan tells her that Charlie doesn't have to bother now. "You two stay here and enjoy yourselves," he tells them.

When they're on their own, Tracy asks Charlie if he would have gone for it with Frankie. Charlie smirks, "What, take advantage of some poor, defenceless female? What kind of man do you think I am?" Tracy smirks back at him. "One who likes living dangerously," she says. "That makes two of us," he tells her.

Frankie is totally helpless out in the street, as Nathan tries to open her front door. Just then Danny comes along, "Oi," he shouts, "get your hands off her!" He gives poor Nathan a push, but just then Carol and Jamie arrive back from their meeting. Nathan tells Jamie he was just making sure his mum got home ok. Danny shouts that he would say that, but Jamie tells him to go away, that he is the reason Frankie is in this state. He then spots Leanne watching from a few yards down the street, and calls out, "Happy with yourselves, are you?" He and Frankie and Carol then go inside, and Danny walks off down the street. As he gets to Leanne he asks her, "Coming back are you?" "Yeah," she mutters, "might as well."

Over in the Rovers, Bev tells Fred she thinks they need to talk. He tells her that if it's about the night before then there's no need. "Folk do all sorts of daft things when they've had a drop too much." Bev tells him, "That's just what I was going to say." Fred says, "Good, that's sorted," and walks off.

Frankie is asleep on the sofa, and Carol covers her with a duvet. She tells Jamie to go and put his suit on. He's worried about Frankie and doesn't want to go out, but she tells him that Frankie will be asleep for hours, and the last thing she'll want when she wakes up is to have them around. She assures him that Frankie will be fine. When Jamie has gone she bends down to the sleeping Frankie and hisses at her, "Little teenage slut! Don't you worry, leave everything to Carol, she'll take care of things now!"

Annie Logan.

Written by: Damon Rochefort (and a very nice job, too)
Directed by: Charles Lauder

Ashley's eating his breakfast but Clare won't even sit down and have a brew. In between yelling up the stairs at Joshua and bustling around tidying things, she's worrying about Ashley's impending hospital appointment and whether it's going to be bad news or not. Nathan comes to see Ashley, bringing him some magazines and DVD's. Ashley is pleased to see him but Clare isn't, until he tells them he's finished with Tracy, then her attitude softens a little. 'Maybe we do have time for a brew,' she concedes.

Frankie Baldwin's dining table is awash with cosmetics, as she and Carol are both putting on their slap for the day. Frankie is off to the solicitor's, and Carol offers to come – she likes the idea of the first Mrs Baldwin advising the second Mrs Baldwin on how to divorce The Rat. The current Mrs Rat declines her offer, even when Carol promises not to turn up sozzled.

The Rat is trying to eat his breakfast, but Leanne is in the mood for a bit of interior decoration. She wants to go shopping for stuff to make the flat they're living in a bit more homely – and when you learn that Danny is using a Star Wars duvet cover that used to belong to Warren, I'm sure you'll agree she has a point. Danny does, anyway, and hands her his credit card and says he'll give her his PIN number. 'Don't worry, I already know it!' she grins, going off to get her shopping frock on. 'Of course, if I accidentally pass a cool shoe shop, I can't promise anything,' she says, flexing his flexible friend.

You know how it is. He knows a good student bar where two can get happily hammered on a tenner. She wants a quiet night in with a couple of cans, a takeaway and him. Yes, it's romance Sarah-and-Jason style. He tells her it's about time she acted her age, and calls her 'little Miss Responsible' (only if your benchmark for responsibility is Tracy Barlow). They get all smoochy on the Maxine Peacock Memorial Bench and poor Frankie has to walk past this scene of romantic bliss on her way to the solicitor. Frankie is wearing a trouser suit in fire engine red featuring a collar less hip-length jacket, fashion fans. It's a rather audacious style statement, but she carries it off. Danny thinks so, too – when he spots her at the bus stop he looks all sad and wistful, and so does she when she sees him, but she gets on the bus anyway.

Nicolette is at the Websters' for lunch, and as Sally hasn't had time to shop, Nicolette and Sophie are having half a pasty each. Nicolette's dad apparently says the meat in pasties is 'all the cr*p they can't sell anywhere else.' Sally tells her off for using 'that sort of language.' 'What, English?' Sophie sneers, which earns her a telling off from Kevin. Nicolette is about to describe the origin of pasty meat further but Sally stops her and tells the girls they should be back at school. After she's ushered them out of the door she confesses to Kevin that the stress of Sophie's Nicolette-inspired behaviour is getting her down. She says Rosie was never like that, but Kevin says, 'How soon we forget!' He says they should go out for a meal that evening. Rosie will baby-sit Sophie, and they can just relax for a while. Sally says she doesn't know what she'd do without him.

Ashley and Clare are sitting in the consultant's office. Ashley's bandages are off, and the consultant shines her torch in his eye. 'I could see something!' he says. 'It were faint, but I could definitely see something!' Claire hugs him, and the consultant says it's exactly the news she wanted to hear.

Steve and Ronnie are in the cafe. Steve has had a letter from Karen's solicitor, asking him for a list of the goods and chattels purchased during their marriage. 'Who does she think I am, Donald Trump?' he says, adding that he only items of value he owns are a microwave and a pile of old copies of Roy of the Rovers. Ronnie says that she doesn't want anything from Evil Jimmy – she just wants to forget he exists. Steve is quite relieved about that, as he wouldn't want to find out how Evil Jimmy would react to a divorce. Ronnie says she isn't scared of him, but Steve says he flippin' is. Ronnie says that 'Whatever Jimmy's got, he can keep. I've got everything I need.' Bless.

Frankie is cleaning the cafe tables and Carol comes in, to tell her that she's got a date with her boss, Eric. She doesn't particularly like him, but who cares? A date's a date. She might even get him to take her to The Clock. She asks how Frankie got on at the solicitor's, and Frankie says it was okay. Carol has a mad grin on her face – she seems pleased that Frankie is really going through with the divorce.

Leanne flounces into the factory, done up to the nines, carrying several shopping bags (the posh paper sort as opposed to the plastic Tesco's variety). She's being all superior with the girls, saying that the knickers they make are cheap and she has the taste for finer things now. Sally says she'd have thought the most important thing Leanne needs in a panty is tough elastic: 'You'd have a better chance of keeping them on.' Janice threatens Sally with a fat lip, but undeterred Sally says she supposes that Janice is thrilled that her step-daughter is sleeping with the boss: 'I suppose this is what passes for ambition for your kids on Planet Battersby.' 'You cheeky, stuck up cow!' Janice roars, but Leanne tells her to rise above it and says she's going to have to get used to it. Kelly says it's not surprising after what she did. Janice reminds Kelly that the first time she clapped eyes on Danny boy, she was 'all over him faster than Rik Waller on a Swiss roll!' and says she's jealous. Sally tells Janice her posse of mates is falling apart, and Janice starts to take her earrings off in a menacing manner. Sally says 'I'm not afraid of you, you little troll. Go and shave your head again and audition for the next "Lord of the Rings."' Janice lunges at her and the two are separated by Leanne, an extra and Danny who comes out of his office to shout at them. Mike comes in at the same time, and orders Leanne to get out. When Danny goes to follow her, Mike tells him, 'You've already lost the best things in your life, son. Don't throw away what you still have on that.' Danny follows her anyway.

Night time, and the rain glistens romantically on t'cobbles. Inside the Rovers all is snug and warm and twinkly with Christmas lights. Steve is brewing up a cunning scheme to keep Karen's hands off his assets. He'll spend what money he has on a lavish holiday for him and Ronnie.

Nathan and Charlie are enjoying a drink and a go on the fruit machine. Tracy is sitting at the far side of the pub with Deirdre, giving Nathan an evil glare, which he says doesn't bother him. For Charlie she has one of her seductive smiles, which prompts him to comment to Nathan that she's a 'fit looking bird.' Tracy doesn't look very happy when she sees Nathan having a laugh with Violet. Deirdre tells Tracy it's time to go home and relieve Blanche of the babysitting duties, but Tracy asks Deirdre if she would mind doing it, as Tracy badly needs some time to herself otherwise she'll go mad (What? With all the stress of looking after Amy? She hardly ever sees that child). Tracy's intentions become clear when she exchanges A Look with Charlie.

Sally and Kevin have got their glad rags on ready for their night out. Rosie asks if it's okay if Craig comes round later, and they agree. Sophie is upstairs listening to music.

Tracy is flirting away with Charlie. Steve asks Nathan if it's true that he and Tracy have split up, because otherwise he'd think that Tracy was just putting on a floor show to get at him. 'And there I was thinking it was for my benefit,' Shelley says, and Nathan remarks that he thinks it's a three-for-one deal. Ashley and Claire come in (Ashley wearing a rather fetching eye patch), and tell everybody the good news that Ashley's eyesight is on the mend. Nathan is very relieved to hear it.

Ronnie tells Steve that she's moving into a flat in Rosamund Street, which upsets him a bit because he thinks her moving out of his flat and living on her own is a backward step in their relationship. She reassures him that she's serious about him, which is why she picked a flat so close by. His other concern is that she shouldn't be on her own if Evil Jimmy comes a-calling, but she says she can handle him.

Ashley, Claire, Shelley and Nathan are toasting Ashley's good news. Tracy looks over at Nathan and tells Charlie, 'Look at him over there, with Popeye and Olive Oyl. I wish I'd realised what a plank he was before.' 'Is there anyone round here you like?' Charlie says, incorporating his trademark annoying cough into the sentence and following it with his trademark annoying smirk. 'There's one guy who's starting to grow on me,' she says. He asks her if it would be just revenge and she replies, 'Maybe.' Then they kiss, with Tracy all the while casting evil little glances across at the group at the bar. Shelley sees this and looks upset, and Violet also looks concerned.

Rosie and Craig are huddled on the sofa watching a scary film, and Sophie comes downstairs dressed in a manner Sally would certainly disapprove of. In fact I think if Sally were to see it she'd say her youngest daughter was dressed like a 'cheap little tart,' but that's only me speculating. Anyway, Sophie proposes to go out and get some chips, but Rosie says she isn't allowed to go out. She tells her to 'get that muck of your face and go and read a book or something.' 'What Disney film are you living in?' Sophie replies, and goes out despite her sister's objections.

Charlie and Tracy are all over each other at the Rovers, and Violet and Shelley are knocking back the red wine to cope with the awful sight. 'If ever a couple deserved each other…' Shelley says, speaking for us all, I'm sure. 'What, the control freak and the bunny-boiler?' says Violet. Shelley says, 'My money's on Barlow. In fact I almost feel sorry for Charlie.' Meanwhile, Tracy and Charlie are discussing the bottle of red that's waiting for them at his place.

Claire is also in a frisky mood. A glass of champagne and there's no stopping her. She and Ashley are still at the Rovers with Nathan, who asks Ashley about going for a run the next day. Ashley says he's finished with boxing (and you do not run when you've just had a detached retina). Charlie and Tracy walk past. 'Goodnight, losers,' Tracy says pointedly. 'Oh, up yours, you demented cow!' Claire replies.

Sophie has been a naughty girl. Craig and Rosie have had to go out and find her, and called Kevin and Sally to come back home. Currently Sophie is sitting at the table being yelled at by her parents. Rosie asks if it's okay for her and Craig to go to his house for an hour, and they leave. Sophie refuses to tell her parents why she went out, and says she just went for a walk. Sally, beside herself with anger and worry, calls her a stupid little girl, and says she thinks she's so grown up but 'tell that to the pervert who grabs you and – ' She stops, and leans her forehead against Sophie's for a few seconds, then pulls back. 'You've been smoking,' she says. 'You're eleven years old and you've been wandering the streets at night, smoking!' 'It weren't me, it was Nicolette!' Sophie yells. 'GET TO BED!' Sally shouts. Sophie goes upstairs, and Kevin tells Sally that he doesn't know who Sophie is any more. 'This is all down to Nicolette,' Sally says. 'She's the cousin from hell!' She decides that the only thing to do is to go and talk to Nicolette's parents. 'Do you think they'll take any notice of us?' Kevin says. 'They will when I've had done with them,' says Sally.

Sue Haasler

It's morning and as the Websters head off for their day, Sally is trying to persuade Kevin that he doesn't need to dress up to meet the Seddons. "The Seddons are pure scum. Always have been. Always will be. They'd be more impressed with a tattoo of a rottweiler than a suit and tie." Sophie is upset that they have to go, but Sally says they will be seeing Nicolette off. She promises to be calm. "If you think I'm being dragged back down to their level, you don't realise how far I've come!"

In the way of all Corrie couplings, two people, one in their dressing gown, step out into the street to say goodbye, just so we all know what they've been up to. Yes, it's the Tracy and Charlie show. "Thank you for having me," coos Tracy, slithering against him. "My mum says I've always got to say that if I stay over at a friend's." Charlie tells her she's a credit to her parents. And just as her tongue heads for Charlie's esophagus, Nathan spots them. He says he didn't think it would take her so long to get over him. Tracy replies that there's nothing to get over. "If we were spiders, I wouldn't even bother eating you."

Sean is pouring cereal and protesting that of course he's going out. It's Friday night, isn't it? Jason asks if Eileen is going out. She realises it's because he's "looking for a tuffet to park himself with that dizzy miss from across the road." A grumpy Jason leaves when Eileen tells him she's got the girls coming round (Steve and Lloyd!). She tells Sean she'll keep on this way as long as Jason's "sowing his wild ones with that Platt moron."

Tracy arrives home to be greeted by her parents. They are really annoyed she didn't phone to say when she was coming in. "We're sick and tired of being left holding the baby -- literally," says Ken. Tracy says that Amy sleeps through the night, so there wasn't a problem, but Deirdre points out that someone else changed Amy's nappy, gave her breakfast and has now taken her out, and when Amy asked where Mummy was, they didn't know if Tracy was dead in a ditch somewhere. This scene has a particularly nasty shot of Deirdre talking and chewing at the same time, so my advice is to avert your eyes. They ask where Tracy was, so she tells them. "Charlie Stubbs? You SLEPT with Charlie Stubbs," chokes Deirdre (that'll teach her to talk with her mouth full!). "Are you mad or stupid?" "What on earth do you think you're doing with your life?" asks Ken. "I'm just trying to get over my unhappy childhood," smirks the slappable one.

Fred is opening the post and finds an invitation to the licensees' association annual dinner and dance and Shelley tells him he should invite her. When Fred leaves the room, Bev defends him and Shelley ends up betting her £5 that Fred asks her to the do.

Sarah and Gail are out in the street, with Gail summing up why she doesn't like Jason. "I am not having Jason Grimshaw in my house, end of story," she finishes. "Mum, if you're trying to drive me away, you're doing a really top job," Sarah says as Gail walks off.

Steve and Ronnie are talking about her moving out. Steve thought maybe they'd go on holiday, get a cat, but Ronnie points out she's just out of a car-crash marriage.

Jason and Sarah are just about to take advantage of Charlie's absence from the yard when he turns up. As Sarah leaves, he tells Jason he slept with Tracy.

(You're right. The scenes were very short tonight)

"Why are women so scared of commitment?" Steve asks Eileen in the taxi office. She thinks a healthy fear of commitment might be a good thing. Frankie arrives with their food orders. "Red Leader, come in Red Leader. The swans have flown from the lake," Eileen radios, confusing Lloyd at the other end. Eileen points out that Steve doesn't even know what sort of sandwich Ronnie would have. "Are you doling out the life lessons?" asks Frankie. "Hwah!" says Eileen in a very theatrical voice. "Come to Eileen with your troubles and she just bats them into the canal with her wise and wonderful platitudes." Frankie sits down and admits she's having trouble living on her budget. Eileen is appalled to discover Jamie and Carol aren't paying rent. "The snow in Moscow lies thick on the ground," whispers Lloyd, arriving back.

Fred's been posing in front of the mirror, practising pulling in his stomach. He tells Shelley he's got something to ask, but she makes an excuse and flees before he can ask: "Do you think I should join a gym?" Bev arrives and Fred says he has something he wants to ask her. "No," she says. "They'll lock you into a year's membership and you'll only go once and never go again." Fred's jaw drops. "That wasn't what. . ." he says to her departing back.

The Websters arrive and Kevin, still in his work clothes, points out there are no fridges outside the Seddons'. Sally is certain she's go it right about them. "Just watch where you step," she tells them. The door opens and a man air-kisses Sally on both cheeks. Mwah, mwah. Then he shakes Kevin's hand, introducing himself as Paul Seddon and coming away with a palm full of grease. Which is quite unrealistic, because Kev's just driven his own car there, and is highly unlikely to have risked getting muck all over his own car. That's what customers' cars are for. The Websters follow Paul into the house.

Inside, they're invited to sit down, but Sally stops Kevin from sitting on the very nice cream couch. He decides to stand. "You've not changed," Paul says to Sally. "You have," she replies. "I see your nose has stopped running." Turns out Paul and Suzanne are both lecturers -- her in sociology and him in design, "furniture, mostly". "When did you last see Paul," asks Mrs Paul. "Not sure, but the rubber sheet got a lot of use," Sally says. Paul says that's got the pleasantries out of the way. They all know why they're here. Sally agrees. "We're not at all happy at the influence Sophie's having on Nicolette," he says. That noise you hear is the sound of Sally's jaw hitting the floor.

Fred's looking for Bev, but Sean says she's soaking her corns. In a corner of the pub, Deirdre and Ken are still discussing what Tracy said. They did their best. Ken says she's always been critical of their parenting skills. "Well, I wish she were a bit more critical of her own," Deirdre says. She says sometimes she hates herself for what she thinks. "I love Tracy, of course I do," she says. "But she's . . .[she searches for the word] . . . horrible!" Ken thinks Tracy's trying to test them and suggests they ignore her.

The Seddons and the Websters are at the only-just-polite-before-the-bickering-starts stage of their discussions. Kevin is pointing out that they asked Sophie where she got the cigarettes and she said they came from Nicorette. "Nicolette!" point out the Seddons. They think Nicolette's become a lot broader since hanging around with Sophie. "She's become very 'ee ba goom'," Suzanne points out.

In the pub, Lloyd, Nathan and Steve are trying to devise a new game along the lines of Paper Scissors Stone, only using "not speaking", "finished" and "moving out". Bev is trying to avoid Fred asking her a question. And Sarah is trying to persuade Jason that they should live together. He'd rather wait for one of the Mums to crack. Charlie comes in and manages to upset Shelley and confuse me. He exchanges poisonous glares with Nathan.

Mr Seddon says they can all agree that the girls have established an unhealthy relationship. They agree to stop the girls seeing each other. But Sally rebels. "I'm not having these sandal-wearing fakes looking down on our daughter. She's worth ten of theirs." The girls, meanwhile, have come downstairs and are sitting on the stairs. "I remember you when you had nothing," says Sally. "And now you're all airs and graces and sounding your 'aitches." Paul says Sally is still a screeching, bleach-blonde harpy. "Mother always said your side of the family was rough as sandpaper." As Sally and her family stomp out, Paul tells him wife they're the scrapings from the bottom of his gene pool.

In the pub, Sarah is glaring at her mother at the bar, telling Jason and Charlie she's probably enjoying it. Shelley comments to Gail that she doesn't much like the company Sarah is keeping. Gail agrees. Bev comes out and tells Shelley that Fred just wanted to ask about joining a gym, but Fred blasts that out of the water by following her to ask if Shelley wants to go to the licensees' do. "It was your mother suggested it." But it turns out he's having her on. Bev has already agreed to go. Kelly comes in and Lloyd tries to talk to her. She pours her drink over him. "Get lost, you loser." Nathan leaps up and pats Lloyd on the back. "She spoke to you!" Eileen arrives and she and Gail discuss kids. And as Eileen tells Gail she doesn't trust her as far as she could throw her and she's about to find out how far that is, and Sean comes over to break them up, Gail says they've called a truce. Charlie says he's off into town and hands Sarah and Jason his keys, leaving their mothers open-mouthed.

Sophie's gone off Nicolette. "She's got teddies on her bed." She wonders if Rosie will end up talking posh because of the school. "Nobody in this family will ever be posh. And to prove it, your dad's going off to the chippie," Sally says. Kevin, who's just wiped his hands on the tea towel, goes along with the joke and it seems Sally's social climbing is at an end. Shame.

The End

Margaret Carr

We open in Danny and Leanne's flat, he's trying to eat the breakfast she's made him, an egg he can't get his spoon into, he usually likes to dip his soldiers in it. He starts going through the post and is stunned to find a letter from Frankie's solicitor, she's seeking a divorce. Leanne puts her arms round his neck and says that it may turn out to be the best thing he ever did. He doesn't look convinced somehow.

Over at the Grimshaw's, Jason is disgusted that Sean has spent a whole lot of money on skincare products. Sean tells him that skincare is not a laughing matter, and asks who he thinks moisturises, Cliff Richard or Keith Richards? Eileen quips that she knows who had the most fun! "What could be more fun than a pampering sesh?" asks Sean, and reminds them that he's got Joanne coming over for one tonight. Jason tries to borrow money from his mum to take Sarah out. He has to take her out because they can't stay in, both her house and his are going to be occupied. Eileen isn't sorry about that, she doesn't approve of him seeing Sarah Platt.

Audrey and Keith are in the pub, Keith tells Audrey that Craig is going with the school on a trip to a youth hostel tonight. Keith doesn't hold with that at all, he thinks they should be camping outside even if it is cold! He invites Audrey over for dinner that evening, promising not to poison her with his cooking.

Over at the bar, Shelley, Sunita and Violet are comparing past Christmases and reflecting on what they had planned this year. Shelley suggests they cheer themselves up with a girls' night in the back, and Violet accepts enthusiastically, although Sunita has reservations.

Craig is packing his kit in preparation for his trip, watched by Rosie. She tells him she's going to miss him, and then invites him to the Oakhill Ball that's coming up soon. He accepts somewhat reluctantly, and then she tells him that it's black tie. "Black?" says Craig, grinning, "they've asked the right people then, haven't they!"

A very frozen Liz, wearing cute white ear-muffs, rushes into the pub and orders a drink. Audrey asks if she's all right, and she says if she could fit in the microwave she'd do twenty minutes on defrost. It seems she's been minding Vernon's market stall for him as he had a music gig to do in Clitheroe. Shelley asks if she'd like to come to their girls night but she says she can't, she's seeing Vernon.

At the factory, Danny is moaning to Adam about the quality of the girls' work. Mike comes in then and tells them that the books don't balance. It seems some cheques have gone missing, Mike reckons they've been stolen. "There's something not right here," he says. Danny is exasperated, and tells him it's like when Mike lost the cheque and accused him of taking it. "And here you are, pointing the finger again," he says. "Nobody is pointing a finger!" says Mike, pointing his finger at Danny. Adam smirks at Danny, "Calm down my son," he says smugly. Danny goes off in disgust.

In the back room of the Rovers, Sean is serving the ladies their drinks. Shelley thanks him for covering for them, he had to break his arrangement with Joanne to do so. He goes off to get Violet some lemon for her drink and a packet of crisps, and the conversation turns to the men who've hurt them, and revenge. Violet has an idea and asks Sunita if Dev is in the shop tonight. She then gets out her phone and orders several large pizzas to be delivered to the corner shop!

Over the road, Keith is dozing on the sofa when the smoke alarm goes off, he rushes into the kitchen where black smoke is coming from the oven. Just then the doorbell rings, Audrey has arrived. He tells her that dinner will be a little late, he's lit the grill instead of the oven.

Leanne has been using all her culinary skills and provided Danny with a microwave dinner served, in all it's glory in the plastic tray, plonked on a plate. As they sit down to eat it, he tells her it's been a rough day, and tells her how Mike has accused him of taking the cheques. "And are you?" Leanne wants to know. "Course I ain't," says Danny, "as if I'd screw my own business, are you mad?" Leanne points out that he owns less than half of it, and Frankie will get half of that when the divorce goes through. "I knew I could rely on you to cheer me up," says Danny. Leanne explains that if Danny upsets Mike he could cut him out of his will, what he needs to do is be extra nice and at the same time show him what a waste of space Adam is.

Over in the pub, Adam and Mike are discussing the very same missing cheques. Adam, trying to stir it for Danny, says he thinks someone might be ripping them off, and reminds Mike how touchy Danny was earlier, and how hard it must be to support two women.

Just then Vernon comes in to find Liz and orders them each a drink. He's been playing the drums for a band performing at an old folks home. "When the dancing starts I tell the old dears not to let him cut in if he's carrying a scythe," he tells her, and they laugh together. She tells him how impressed she's been that he hasn't rushed the physical side of their new relationship. "Timing is everything," he says, and goes off to the loo as the drinks arrive. "That's £4.50 please Liz," says Sean, putting them down in front of her.

Steve arrives at Charlie's. "Taxi!" he says. Charlie, dressed in a t-shirt, asks if he looks like he needs a cab. Just the then three girls poke their heads round the corner and shriek with laughter, and Charlie understands what's gone on. "You're round the twist, the lot of you," he says.

At Keith's house, he and Audrey are enjoying their meal. She compliments him on his cooking, but assures him that being able to cook doesn't make him less of a man. He tells her he knows he's got some funny ways, he's bit old fashioned, but looking at what's on television these days he's proud of being behind the times. He tells her he would have kicked himself black and blue if the situation over the suit had broken their friendship, and tries, rather clumsily, to tell her how he feels about her.

Back at the pub, Shelley, Violet and Sunita are laughing about their stunts with the taxi and the pizzas. Violet says that now it's her turn to have some fun, and writes out a notice on yellow paper. "What do you reckon?" she asks, showing them, and they hoot with laughter.

Jason walks into the bar and is astonished to see Sean working. Sean explains that Shelley asked him to cover at the last minute. "Does that mean the house is empty?" he asks, an idea obviously forming. Sean agrees that the house is indeed empty, and Jason puts his phone to his ear, grinning.

Over at Gail's house, the family have just eaten a dinner that Phil has cooked them. David says he didn't like it, and Phil says he shouldn't have cleared his plate for his benefit. David says he had to, he was starving.

In Steve's flat, Ronnie is packing, preparing to leave for her own, new flat. He's trying to persuade her to stay, promising her breakfast in bed, with even a flower in a vase. Just as he's telling her he might be lonely if she goes, his mother arrives with Vernon. "It doesn't sound like it," says Ronnie. As his mother and Vernon go off to the bedroom, Vernon hands Steve his drumsticks. "No solos in the middle of the night," he says.

Violet is putting her yellow notice up in the local telephone box. She laughs as she runs out, and we see what it says: "Bad boy builder Jason offers gay massage" and his phone number!

Audrey and Keith are getting on like a house on fire. She starts thinking about going home, when he tells her she could stay. He gets very embarrassed and tongue tied then, until she stops him. "You're blunt, stubborn, and set in your ways," she says, "I don't know what I see in you." Then she leans over and kisses him.

Annie Logan.

Part 1:

Keith and Craig's – Audrey comes down the stairs and Keith tells her he didn't know what she like's for breakfast. As they are sharing a kiss they hear Craig coming down the stairs, he jumps on the sofa not even looking at them. Keith asks him why he's not at the Peak District. Craig tells him the boiler broke so they were sent home. Audrey says hi to Craig and he looks up. She then says, he hopes he does not mind but she has borrowed his mum's dressing gown. Craig tells her its ok, as its no use to his mum where she is. As Audrey goes up stairs Craig tell his granddad not to bother about the Christmas gig. Keith says they have to make an effort and move on. He uses himself and Audrey as an example.

Baldwin's – Carol is getting read to go out with Eric the bookie telling them that Eric's mum is cockney. She thinks this is why they get on well. As she gets up she drops her bag and Frankie picks it up. Frankie sees rolled up money and secrete picks it. Carol is really happy and she does not feel like a charity case and has a clean sheet. As she goes Jamie tells Frankie that's the happiest he's seen her in ages. Frankie shows him the rolled up money saying she asked Carol for rent. She asks him if this is it and if Carol was planning on surprising her with it. Jamie wonders how she got all this money.

Outside – Blanch has to sign for a recorded delivery. Audrey comes out of Keith's. He tells her he will see her later. Audrey says in other words see you around. He says no and says he will see her after work. Blanch watches them as they kiss. Just as Eileen is going in her door Gail see her and they start arguing. Gail tells her Sarah has just come in after spending the night at hers with Jason. Eileen says Sean has been in. Gail says he has to work at the Rovers and goes on about Todd. Eileen tells her she heard David was sent home drunk from school. Gail says he's been through the mills as Eileen says Sarah has been through half the men in Weatherfield. Gail shouts back saying, Todd has been through the other half. Phil approaches them and tells Gail to leave it and takes her away.

Factory – Mike, Danny and Adam are talking about the missing cheque's. Danny asks Mike if he's check Adams young savers account for any big deposits. Adam says he can't cash a cheque made to underworld. Danny says exactly and wonders why they are both looking at him. Mike looks at the work force and thinks any of them could be ripping him off. Danny laughs saying he thinks its Hayley. Mike tells Adam they are going to tightening up the security.

Platt's - Gail angrily tells Phil Todd never made it past Canal Street. She then asks if he hear the way Eileen was speaking about her kids. Phil tells her the same way she was speaking about Eileen's kids. He then says they had a night of passion and are consenting adults. Gail tells him they will never get her consent. Phil tells her Eileen is just as unhappy as she is and thinks she should just let them get on with it before she ruins her relationship with Sarah. She tells him it doesn't work like that when you are a parent and says he wouldn't understand. Phil has a look on his face as he walks away.

Factory – Mike, Danny and Adam come out the office. Mike tells the work force that cheques have been going missing and he now wants all bags checked. Hayley asks if he thinks its one of them stealing from him. Danny tells her not one of you but one of us. Adam thinks if they have nothing to hide, then they have nothing to worry about. Mike then tells them to get back to work.

Kabin - Blanche is telling Norris and Rita about Audrey coming out of Keith's saying she practically skipped off to that salon giggling like a schoolgirl. Then tells them she still had on yesterday's top. Kelly enters and gets five pounds of scratch cards. Lloyd tells her she might as well just open her purse and pour her money down the drain. She tells her she could just pour a drink over his head and reminds him it's her money she's wasting and says at least she didn't sell her soul.

Factory - Sean arrives back and is told his bag needs to be checked again. He tells Adam that if he wants a date with him all he had to do is ask. He then gives Hayley a sandwich. Hayley decides not to go to the Rovers for lunch because she does not want to be searched like a common criminal. She empties her bag and begins reading out any receipts she finds. Sean tells her she is taking it too personally. She shouts saying it is and tells Mike every penny accounted for. Mike asks what she wants. She says to treated with a little respect. Danny tells her suspicion is pointing at him too. Sean adds, and his family. Danny mutters or so they tell me.

Rovers - Lloyd is begging Kelly to take him back. She tells him to get lost and save it for Tina. He tells her it's her he wants not Tina. She tells him to pay off Tina and she might just be interested in him. He tells her he can't but she tells him to flog a kidney.

Corner shop - Rosie and Craig talk to Dev about supermarkets taking up all the green belt land. Blanche asks Rosie how does her mum clean her pillow cases. Craig tells her that she means with her hair dye and Rosie confesses saying they turn purple after a bit. Blanche then asks Craig if his granddad knows how to work the washing machine or if Audrey does it. She then leaves. Craig puts change on the counter. Dev asks if he's hard up and Craig say's with Christmas and Rosie's birthday he is hard up. Dev smiles and offers him a job.

Rovers - Jack tells everyone is daily routine is bookies, chippy, Rovers. Keith tells him that the bookies is a mugs game but Jack asks Betty to tell Keith he won sixty grand a few years back. Lloyd's orders a drink for them. Jack tells them he knew it was his lucky day as Vera wasn't moaning etc. Frankie does not want Jamie paying Carol's rent. He tells her it's no skin off his teeth. He wonders where Carol could have got the money. He thinks its great she has not spent in on drink. Frankie tells him she should let Eric take over looking after her.

Factory –Sean has everyone laughing as he does false moustache and goose steps up and down the factory crying in a German accent. Mike tells him to shut up and tells Adam to get set up for the bag search. Hayley refuses and holds are bag tight. Sean tells her just to rise above it. She asks if he cares care that they are calling him a thief. Danny smirks at Adam saying he will go first and takes out all his stuff. He shows a company paper clip and tells them not to worry, as he will make it up to them. Mike calls Hayley up but she refuses to move.

Rovers - Audrey enters. Jack helps Lloyd pick an accumulator in hopes of solving his financial problems. Keith goes over to Audrey and gives her a kiss. Blanche looks shocked and she asks Audrey if she memory is right and says that's not the top she had on this morning. Audrey realises that everyone she spent the night at Keith's. Blanche tells them she can't help if she's a people watcher. Deirdre apologies for what Blanch has just said. Audrey says its ok and tells everyone she's she happiest she's been in years. Keith says likewise and they share a kiss.

Factory - Danny tries to persuade Hayley to just let them look in her bag. He tells her she will not win this fight. Mike shouts saying he's being ripped off. Danny tells him he's wrong. Hayley tells him she as shown him nothing but loyalty and professionalism. Mike asks if she works here for nothing. Janice says they work for next to nothing. He angrily asks if she's above the law. She tells him its just some stupid rule he's made up. Mike grabs Hayley's bag and they struggle. Hayley pulls her bag back and shouts telling to get off her property. He scrams telling her to get off his property as she's sacked.

Amanda Souter

Well Hayley has been sacked (unfairly and without following due process - any incompetent lawyer could take Underworld to the cleaners and clean out their money drawers) and rather expects her colleagues to take her side, especially later on when she gets them together for a meeting in the Rovers. But they all refuse - Christmas is almost here and they need the money - no-one will support Hayley. Hard luck Hayley.

Mike is confident that he is right and that one of the staff have stolen the missing cheques - after all he has been in business 40 years. Adam is useless and Danny keeps telling Mike he is making a mistake.

Sunita has realised that she has to move out of the Rovers and therefore decides to go and see Dev. Shelley offers to go with her - but Sunita says she must go alone.

Desperate for money to pay off Tina for the loan Lloyd is convinced by Jack that he is a great tipster, particularly on accumulators (winnings on the first race are rolled over etc - all bets being placed in advance). Sadly it all falls apart on the first race when the nag comes in second. What is Lloyd going to tell Kelly this time?

Carole is asked by Jamie about the bankroll - apparently an advance from Eric so that she can buy Xmas pressies. Jamie does not believe it and accuses her of hoarding alcohol. He storms out and she storms to the bar for a large vodka and tonic. Shelley is about to deliver when Eric (the wonderful Tony Slattery looking much older) arrives to take her to the Clock before the drink is delivered and it is never consumed. At the Clock Carole chatters but Eric hardly hears her - he is staring at another woman at another table. Eventually the blonde storms over and we discover that it is Eric's ex wife and he has simply taken Carole as cover for his jealous attentions to her. The ex wife tells Carole to enjoy her meal. Eric asks Carole to stay and he will stop looking at his wife but Carole refuses, stands up and pulls the tablecloth, food, drink and glasses onto the floor, starting to cry as she reaches the door.

On the Street Sunita overhears a telephone call from an individual wanting a gay massage from Jason. Charlie also hears it - should he start questioning Jason's sexuality - perhaps he is a pretty boy. Arriving at the shop Sunita asks Dev for the flat over the shop. He offers her the house - but she refuses saying she would rather stay at the Rovers. Dev concedes and later Sunita reports back to Shelley that she will be moving out shortly.

Tracy tries to get Dreary to mind Amy. Dreary fed up with this game of pass the parcel declines the opportunity. We do not find out what happens but she must have found someone because she later appears in the Rovers, pick up some trash (sorry Charlie) and they depart together.

Penny asks Danny where she might find Mike - but Danny is not really interested - he knows that they have done the wrong thing and he has no idea where Mike has gone. Danny looks really fed up when Carole comes through the door looking like thunder. He has a few digs at her whilst she waits for an (alcoholic drink). Danny tries to taunt her into having a drink and it saves her from herself and she orders a plain tonic eventually.

Violet comes clean to Jason over the note advertising gay massage - so Sean and Violet are friends again.

Mike arrives home with a big grin on his face and talking about his little gold mine. Penny is worried about Danny and asks if there has been a row. Mike denies any disagreement - everything is fine and dandy.

And that sums up Monday. And I may be back same time same place next week.

K Richard W

Written by: Martin Allen
Directed by: David Kester

Early morning, and Violet is surprised to see Bev, in her dressing gown, ushering Fred out of the door of t'Rovers with a little kiss. Violet grins to herself.

Penny gives Adam a lift to work, and he tells her about all the problems at the factory – how Mike and Danny are at each other's throats, how Mike suspects everyone of stealing from him, and how Hayley got sacked for refusing to have her bag searched. Penny says she's been worried about Mike but had no idea things were that bad.

Fred is grabbing a quick snack at home, and doesn't take kindly to Ashley questioning him about where he's been all night. He says the days he had to explain his whereabouts are long since gone: 'When I left school, to be precise.'

Keith's teasing The Lovely Craig, suggesting he might like black pudding for his breakfast because he dresses like Dracula. Craig asks him where Audrey is, and Keith says they don't spend every moment together. Craig wonders if Keith stayed over at Audrey's the previous night, and Keith says relationships aren't all about one thing, particularly when you're 'in the afternoon of your life.' 'Evening, more like,' says Craig. Keith says he's not at the evening of his life yet, and that when Craig gets to his age he'll realise 'the day is full of hidden moments you previously weren't aware of.' How poetical.

Betty's feeling poetical too. She's talking about Bev and Fred, with Violet and Shelley, and Violet can't remember if Bev and Fred kissed on the mouth or cheek. Betty thinks it's important: 'Passion meek – on the cheek. Marriage job – on the gob,' she says. Shelley wishes Betty hadn't mentioned marriage, given Fred's propensity for proposing, adding that 'she [Bev] can be as rash as him sometimes.' On which note, Bev appears, and the others all try to pretend they weren't talking about her. She can't stop for a cuppa as she 'has a lot to organise.' 'Like what?' Shelley says, thinking it must be wedding preparations. Which it isn't. Anyway, Bev says she had a great time, and says that 'Fred knows how to treat a lady on the big occasions.' She goes out, and Betty shakes her head: 'Easter wedding, divorce next Christmas. Mark my words.'

At Frankie's, Carol is lying on the sofa in her dressing gown showing no inclination to get ready for work. When Frankie asks her why, Carol tells her that Eric was only going out with her to make his wife jealous. 'First man I've met since I was sober. Doesn't bode well, does it?' 'It's early days, though,' Frankie says comfortingly. Carol then raises the subject of the wad of money she had, and Frankie says it was her and not Jamie who found it. Carol doesn't expect Frankie to believe her, but says it was a sub from Eric so she could get a really nice Christmas present for Jamie. She's had so many Christmases apart from him she wanted to do something special. But she doesn't think he'll want one from her now so she might as well give Frankie the money for rent. Frankie tells her to keep the money and get the present, and she'll wait for the rent until Carol earns it. Carol says it might be a while because she has to pay the sub off first. Also she has no idea what to get for Jamie. Frankie offers to help her look for something, and says she'll meet her after she's finished at the cafe. Carol looks quite touched that Frankie is being so nice to her.

At the Rovers, Shelley asks Fred what his intentions are towards her mother. 'Can't two people go for a night out together without folk reading things into it?' he says, adding that he and Bev are just good friends. Shelley is relieved.

Lloyd comes into the Rovers in a dark suit and tie. 'Going to a funeral?' Kelly asks him, which was just what I was thinking, but he's actually going to see the bank manager to try and get a loan to pay the other woman off. Kelly isn't impressed by this, because he wouldn't do it when she asked him to, but Steve has persuaded him. She doesn't really believe it's going to happen, and Lloyd says he'll provide video evidence if necessary. 'I might just take you up on that,' sniffs Kelly, and walks out of the pub.

Next into the pub are Penny and Mike. He notices she looks worried, then he gives her even more reason for concern when Hayley comes in, and he demands to know why she wasn't at work that morning. He has no recollection of sacking her, and says she must have just got caught in the crossfire between him and Danny: 'Why would I sack my best machinist? But I tell you what, if you're not there this afternoon, there will be trouble.' Hayley is pleased and says she'll see him later. She goes out. 'That Hayley,' Mike says. 'Honest as the day's long, but she doesn't half get the wrong end of the stick sometimes.' Penny looks troubled.

Everyone is surprised to see Hayley back at work, apart from Danny, who says nothing surprises him any more. Then he tells Adam he's off to the bank, and Adam mutters something about cashflow problems. Danny tells him to either directly accuse him of something, or shut up, and that he'd never be stupid enough to steal from his own company. Adam says that it's a fact that Danny was claiming hotel expenses from the company when he was with Leanne, and Danny asks him if that's the best he can do. Danny says that it's him who's been keeping Underworld going for the past couple of years, and if he gets any more bother from Adam he'll stick the silver spoon he was born with back down his throat. Mike appears and demands to know what's going on. 'I was just passing the time of day and I get a mouthful of abuse,' Adam says, and Danny says he'd be great at poker with a face like that. Mike asks Danny for his version of events, and Danny says, 'I ain't got time to play who killed cock robin, I got more important things to do.' He takes a call on his mobile, and Mike and Adam go into the office. 'Well,' says Janice, 'There's no danger of being bored!' Hayley is still angry with the other machinists because they didn't support her when she was sacked, and she says at least she knows who her friends are now. In the office, Mike is giving Adam a good talking to. Adam says he's going to go back to Scotland – he'd thought he was part of Mike's plans, but he gets treated like a naughty schoolboy. 'You are more than part of my plan,' Mike says. 'You *are* the future!' He says Adam needs to have standards and can't just behave how he likes, 'Especially as you'll be sitting in that chair one day.' Adam grins, quite triumphantly. Penny comes in to have a word with Mike, and Danny follows her into the office to say that the accountant has been on the phone, and apparently the missing money is due to a bank error. 'I'm sorry I got carried away about it,' Mike says, 'But I was right, it was missing, wasn't it? And you lot thought I was losing my marbles!' Penny doesn't look entirely convinced but she says all she came for was to talk about Christmas plans, and it'll keep.

At the Websters, Rosie is upstairs getting ready for her school ball. Her friends are picking up her and Craig in a stretch limo, and Sally thinks it's all wonderful. Kevin laughs that in their day it was a school disco and you had to wait on a corner for a bus. 'This is a real step up the ladder for her,' smiles Sally, and talks about Rosie's dress, which cost a lot but it's not about the money, 'it's about the savoir faire.' Then Rosie appears. The dress doesn't quite look how Sally was expecting – Rosie has customised it in a Goth style. It's black, strapless, floor-length, but has split seams revealing red and black hooped tights. It has a red sash and plenty of Goth bling, and Rosie has piled her black hair on top of her head and gone heavy with the black eye makeup. Sally is horrified. 'What's that?' she says, tugging at a ragged bit of black netting. 'You've ripped it!' Rosie says. 'It's ruined!' 'Nobody'll notice that,' Kevin says. 'Nobody'll notice any of it cos you're not going out like that, young lady,' says Sally.

Shelley confronts her mother about Fred, saying that he has a track record of seeing a woman a couple of times, proposing, getting married and it all ending in tears. Bev reassures her that it's not going to happen, and when Shelley mentions Fred staying the night, Bev says he slept on the downstairs sofa because they got home late and he'd forgotten his key and didn't want to wake Ashley. Bev says she and Fred are just friends, and she isn't offended by Shelley asking about him. But when Shelley tells her that she also confronted Fred about his intentions towards Bev, and Fred reportedly said they were just friends, Bev does look quite disappointed.

After the workers have gone home from the factory, Mike, Penny, Danny and Adam are still there toasting the accountant, and hoping all the feuding is over. Adam apologises to Danny, saying he's sorry if he's done anything to inflame things. Danny says he wasn't entirely blameless himself, and they shake hands, but Danny's face as soon as he leaves shows he still doesn't like or trust Adam.

Rosie and Sally are having a massive argument. Sally says what are the teachers going to think about her and Kevin when they see how Rosie's dressed. Rosie says it has nothing to do with them. Then Rosie's escort for the evening arrives. The Lovely Craig is looking like the lost member of The Cure, hair sticking out at all angles and as much makeup as Rosie. The next arrival is Rosie's friend Imogen, who is dressed demurely in a way Sally clearly approves of. Imogen sees Rosie and says, 'Wow! You look sensational!' She adds that the Head of Art is always saying they don't look bold enough, and his wife is bound to be dressed in something outrageous. 'Shall we go?' she says, and Rosie and Craig look at Sally, who is smiling away now that Rosie has been approved of by a proper posh girl. 'Come on, Rosie,' says Sally, 'You don't want to keep Imogen waiting.' After they've gone, Kevin can't believe Sally's sudden change of heart. 'If Rosie's got creative genius we should be encouraging it,' Sally says. 'Rosie's a real credit to us.' Kevin shakes his head in amused disbelief.

In the Rovers Lloyd is showing Kelly and Steve the letter from the bank confirming that the money will be in his account on Friday, and he'll then transfer it to the other woman's account. Kelly's attitude to him softens a bit.

Mike and Penny are also in the Rovers, talking about how all the factory problems seem to be resolved. Mike brings up the subject of Christmas and says he fancies a big one this year with the whole family around him. 'I hope you don't expect me to cook?' Penny says, and Mike says he booked The Clock months ago. They toast the future.

At home, Danny is still furious about what's been going on, and is ranting away to Leanne about how Adam is just out of nappies and Mike is in his dotage and between them they're going to run the factory into the ground. Leanne counsels him to just be nice to them and bide his time, but he says the only thing he can do is 'Destroy the pair of them, before they destroy what's mine.'

Sue Haasler

As the snow wrapped itself cosily around my house, I settled down to bring you the heart warming story of these warm-hearted simple city folk living out their simple lives in this warm and welcoming community. Nah, I watched Coronation St instead!

It's Friday and Steve wanders sleepily from his bedroom towards the living room, only to be jolted wide awake when he knocks over part of a drum kit. Liz comes out to tell him to be quieter. "You can't leave valuable equipment like this out in the street," she tells him. She spent half an hour lugging it all from the van. "And did I wake you and Ronnie? No, I didn't." Steve confesses that Ronnie's not there, and a voice comes from the bedroom: "Can you two make a bit less row out there? I need my beauty sleep." They've woken Ringo.

The Websters come downstairs to find Rosie crying all over the table. Craig has upset her and she finally confesses that he left her at the party to go to the toilet and when she found him again he was [brace yourself] eating sausage rolls at the buffet. And Kevin laughing doesn't make her feel any better.

Danny and Leanne are walking towards the factory and Danny is building up a good head of steam. Adam tells him he has to sort out some hotel bills today. Leanne stops Danny exploding.

Jamie and his Mum are in the cafe and she says she can't go back to work because Eric was using her. But Jamie says they depend on her and Frankie needs the rent. Eric comes in and sits down with Carol. The others make a strategic retreat. He says he'll give her a good reference. He asks her to reconsider leaving, but she thought he was there to sack her for not turning in. They agree she'll go back to work.

Lloyd is giving Steve a hard time about Ronnie moving out. Steve gets all defensive and says they don't need to live in each others' pockets. Ronnie arrives and gives Steve a kiss before asking what's wrong. "I've got a flat full of drum kit and a belly full of Lloyd," Steve says. Ronnie asks if he's grumpy because she spent the night at her own place. "No," says Steve. "Stop nodding, Lloyd!" Lloyd rushes off for a pick-up and Steve tells Ronnie he missed her. Ronnie missed him, too.

Sally is at the garage telling Kevin that Rosie is still upset and is in her room. Kevin thinks it's all something and nothing. At 14, kids get upset over anything. Sally doesn't agree. "Creative people like Rosie feel things more deeply -- not that I'd expect you to understand."

In the pub, Ronnie and Kelly are giving Lloyd and Steve a hard time over potential Christmas gifts. When Lloyd points out that he's skint now he's had to take out the loan, Kelly gets very grumpy and goes back to work. Elsewhere, Betty is telling Gail and Phil she'd bought all her presents by October, "wrapped all my presents up by Bonfire Night, sent all my cards a fortnight ago." But she points out that the longest job is checking the card list to see who's died. When she goes back to the bar, Gail invites Phil for Christmas. Then she gets a phone call from David's school -- he's walked out.

In the corner shop, Dev is following Sunita about the shop. She assures him she's only there because she couldn't face Freshco. He's so persistent she lets him get her groceries but adamantly refuses the offer of him carrying them upstairs. She's just leaving when Amber arrives. Her mother has told her that Dev is her real father. "My brother or sister?" she asks Sunita, looking at Sunita's belly. "Maybe both," Sunita say, and leave. Amber turns a scornful face to Dev. "I seriously hate you."

Keith is in the Kabin, where Norris says paper lads earn more than he did when he got his first proper job. And the kids are talking about all sorts of presents which must cost the earth. "There'll be none of that for my Craig," Keith says. Norris takes this as a mark of Keith's good sense, but is promptly told that if Keith had the money, Craig could have anything he wants. Kelly comes in to buy a scratch card, telling them she's got her lucky knickers on, too. Keith and Norris fall to discussing what a stupid way of getting money it is, when Kelly starts to dance around the shop. She's won £2,500!

Liz is doing roadie duties and tells Frankie that Vernon told her he came really close to becoming a Herman's Hermit. "And is that a good thing?" asks Frankie. And Liz, despite being a young thing of about my age, claims not to know. (It's about time young Stanley Fairclough, who was played by Herman himself, came back to the Street for a visit, I think) Liz thinks it's a great life. Vernon tells them most men his age are only worried about the allotment or taking their wives to Bingo. Frankie says her mum used to go on about the sort of men she shouldn't go out with. "Even though Danny was older, married, and knocked me up, because he were in business, she thought he was all right, silly cow."

David comes out of the chippie and is ambushed by his mother. He tells her the school is only having a crack-down because some lads were caught nicking in the precinct. He cuts her short and goes off to meet someone.

In the corner shop. Craig is watching Amber wander around the shop taking stuff. Craig grabs her and she tells him her name is "Boss's Daughter." She takes a box of something and Craig grabs her to get it back, just as Rosie walks in. Amber tries to cause more trouble and Rosie leaves, just as Dev comes back. He tells Craig he can go. "Is she really your. . . ? Craig starts. "Just go. And you, get away from that till!" Dev shouts at Amber.

Craig rushes out into the street, chasing Rosie. He knocks on her door and she answers. He tries to explain about Amber. "I bet she eats meat," Rosie says. "She probably eats lads," Craig says. Rosie has had her friends on the phone all day telling her to dump him. Craig doesn't want it to be over, and Rosie says nor does she.

In the pub, Leanne greets Danny. She's asked Janice and knows he didn't lose it with Adam. "That lot wouldn't have noticed if we'd pulled guns on each other," Danny says. "They're too busy trying to help Legs spend that two and a half grand." Leanne says it's peanuts compared to what Danny's got at stake. Lloyd arrives. "So the rumours of the most beautiful babe at Baldwin's striking it lucky were true then?" "No," says Joanne. "It were Kelly." Lloyd sees how much Kelly is spending and advises her to slow down a bit and save some of it for something special. Kelly thinks he just wants her to give him some money. "Anyway, I haven't even got the money yet. This is me wages."

Gail has rung Martin, but he isn't much help and won't come over because it's the night of Robyn's staff do. Phil tells her that it's just as well Martin doesn't come over if he resented it, because David would pick up on that. What David really needs is his mother to lay down the law so he knows she's noticed him.

Back in the Rovers, Danny is being praised by Mike for managing to offload a heap of old stock. Mike greets Adam and says he wants to tell him about the stroke Danny pulled. "Well, if there are any strokes to be pulled, Danny's your man," Adam sneers, reminding Danny about the accountant. Danny goes back to Leanne and now he agrees with her that Adam is deliberately trying to needle him. Leanne advises him to wait until Adam makes a mistake and then pounce. Meanwhile, Mike is asking Jamie if he'd like to come to Christmas Dinner. But Jamie refuses. He'd rather have it with his mum and Frankie.

In the shop, Dev tells Amber her mother is coming for her. "Did you tell her we're bonding?" Amber asks. Dev thinks it's more like a mugging. Amber wants to know why she had to be "the secret in the other shop". "Ravinder and I, we had an agreement," Dev says. She wants to know why he married Sunita and not her mum. "Look, Amber," says Dev. "Right now, my life is really complicated. The last thing I need is . . ." Amber cuts him off. "What YOU needed." She tells him he never cared about what she needed. "I've got news for you, King Dev -- your little princess is here and she ain't going away!" And the camera lingers on Dev's troubled face as I wonder whether Dev's character has been able to raise any empathy with any viewers anywhere. . . Because I really don't care if he's having problems or not.

The End.
Margaret Carr

Hi everyone, as Christmas draws ever closer, here's the update for Sunday December 18th.

Christmas preparations are underway in the Harris house, as Craig attempts to wrap a present, a pashmina. Audrey is over, visiting Keith, and tries to make conversation with our friendly neighbourhood Goth. "Who's the lucky lady?" she asks him, "Rosie Webster?" Craig doesn't even look up, but mumbles that it's for his mum. A little embarrassed, Audrey asks if he's going to be able to visit Angela over the holidays. "Yep," is the curt reply. Keith wonders what good a scarf will be in prison, but Audrey reminds him of "Bad Girls", and how it's a veritable cat-walk in Larkhill. Craig then exclaims that they don't understand, she will need something when she gets out, and then he rushes from the room. Audrey then turns her attention to Keith, who has planned a trip out to a Christmas market (there's to be free mulled wine!) Keith, ever thrifty, thinks that it would be a cheap night out if they walk there, but Audrey is adamant, she is not wearing the right shoes for walking, and insists they take a taxi. She even turns down Keith's offer to loan her his galoshes!

Upstairs meanwhile, Craig is now on the phone to Rosie who is sitting in the front upstairs window in her house. He's upset and tells her he can't stop thinking about his mum. She says she'll come straight over, but he tells her not yet, his dad has got "Her Majesty" round, but they'll be going out in a while, she should come over then.

Frankie arrives home carrying a white, sparkly, artificial Christmas tree. Carol is sitting on the sofa, and starts making bitter, sarcastic remarks. It turns out that among the Christmas decorations she has found a Father Christmas obviously made by a child. She knew that Jamie had made it and is upset and angry that she never knew. "You had my son every Christmas," she fumes, "he must have made this when he was about nine and I never even knew." She flings the Santa onto a chair, wailing and ranting. Frankie picks it up, and tells her that actually, it was Warren who made it. "Your son was never that bothered about Christmas," she tells Carol softly, "I put it down to missing you."

Kelly is spending more of her winnings by taking Lloyd to The Clock for a meal. She shows him all the things she has bought, an all-singing, all-dancing mobile phone, a new watch, handbag and lots of bling. He tries to warn her to be rather more cautious about spending, to save some. The power of money has gone to Kelly's head however, and she won't be put off. She accuses him of sounding just like her dad, and eventually, after a few cross words, Lloyd leaves. Kelly finishes her meal alone.

Over at the Websters, Sally and Kevin have arrived home with boxes of pizzas and a dvd. Rosie greets them, telling them that Imogen has called and invited her over there for dinner. Sally is delighted to think that her daughter is mixing in such high social circles and says of course she must go, and she'll get Kevin to run her over there. "No," says Rosie quickly, and explains that another girl from down the road is going too and has already offered Rosie a lift.

Back at The Clock, Kelly is finishing her meal. She pulls a fistful of notes from her handbag and peels one off. "Keep the change," she shouts, as she puts it down on the table and leaves.

Our two Goths are sitting close together on the sofa. Craig asks Rosie why she didn't tell her parents she was going over to his house. Rosie explains that Sally doesn't understand that sometimes they need to be alone. She tells him her family are doing her head in. Craig starts to tell Rosie about a bad dream he had, where she got taken away by the police. He says he would hate to lose her – that's what happens to everyone he loves. She stares at him and he realises what he's said. "Does that mean….?" She starts to say, and he denies it until she says that she would quite like it if he did. He then suggests they listen to music in his room – the sound system is better up there. He takes her hand and they go off up the stairs.

After the break we find the pair sitting on Craig's bed, discussing music tracks. "You are such a freak," she tells him gently, "that's why I love you." He tells her again that he loves her too, and then seems embarrassed. He then ponders over his feelings for her, telling her there is nothing dark about the way he feels so how can that be Goth? "I think it's because of Adam and Eve," Rosie tells him wisely, "they weren't Goths and they were the first people to...er...do it and that, Goth came later." They then start kissing.

Sally is sitting next to Kevin on the sofa, expecting that her daughter will be drinking coffee now, and wondering what she's talking about. (If only she knew!)

Kelly is walking home from the restaurant when she is accosted by a young man in a hoodie, he shoves her against a shop wall, and tells her he has a knife.

In the Platt household, David is on the sofa. Phil tries to talk to him about the fact that Gail has invited him over for Christmas day. Being particularly obnoxious, David tells him to do what he wants, he usually does, and rushes upstairs.

At Frankie's house, Carol is being obnoxious too. (Considering she's staying in someone else's house you'd think she'd be rather more polite.) She's very scathing about the tree that Frankie put up and says it's no wonder that Jamie hated Christmas with her all those years. Carol then starts to rearrange some of the decorations on the tree and just then Jamie comes in. "That Christmas tree is the business!" he tells her, and Carol takes all the credit!

Kelly is sitting crying outside the police station when a taxi pulls up at the kerb.

Danny and Leanne are sitting in the pub when Mike comes in, wondering why it's so quiet in there. Violet tells him it's now closing time. "Hello Toyah," he says to Leanne, and then explains Danny's mum is coming up for Christmas and Mike has arranged dinner at The Clock, he wants to know if they would like to join them all. Danny accepts, and they go out, leaving Mike looking confused. "I had no idea that was the time," he says to himself, "my watch has stopped."

Kelly and Lloyd are driving along in the taxi. He asks what's happened and she starts to cry, and tells him that the mugger took all her new stuff and made her clear out her bank account. He's really sweet to her and hugs her. She tells him the police wanted to know if her mugger was black, and she's upset about that. "What does it matter?" she says to Lloyd, and tells him that he was white anyway. She wants to know why the police always assume that when anything bad happens a black person is involved.

Craig and Rosie are in the bed by this time, and he suggests she stays the night. Rosie rings her mum, asking if she can stay at Imogen's. "There's a spare bedroom," she tells Sally, "with it's own en-suite bathroom." Sally is impressed, especially when Rosie offers to put Imogen's mum on the phone when she's finished checking on the ponies! That swings it, and Sally tells her of course she can stay. The two teenagers turn to each other and start kissing again.

Downstairs, Keith and Audrey arrive home. Keith remarks that Craig must have gone to bed. "Night lad," he calls. Over in the Webster's house, Sally goes round turning all the lights off as she goes to bed. In the bedroom Rosie and Craig settle down to sleep.

Annie Logan

First part of tonight

Keith and Craig's – Rosie wakes and then quietly wakes Craig. She then says what was she thinking of and asks how is she going to get out without his granddad seeing her and where is she going to go.

Yard - Jason asks if he can have an hour off later to do Christmas shopping, Charlie hands him twenty pounds and tells him to get a bottle of perfume for Tracy. Jason thinks she must be the one but Charlie says she the one he's seeing at the moment. Jason tells him he will be getting Sarah something better than that and he's not been seeing her that long. Charlie gives him more money.

Keith and Craig's – The pair creep downstairs and Rosie says her mum or dad might see her so she has to go out the back. Keith and Audrey come down. Keith asks what's going on and if she spent the night. Craig snaps back asking if Audrey did. Keith very angry tells Rosie to go home. Audrey then goes out the front door. Keith shouts at Craig telling asking what he was thinking off. Craig says it's unfair as he can have his girlfriend over. Keith says it's different and wants Craig to show him and the house respect. Craig says he been going out with her for eighteen months and they have waited till it felt right. Keith yells telling him he does not want him doing that under his roof and not with someone across the street.

Churchyard – Rosie walks along and then she looks in her mirror.

Keith and Craig's - Craig is annoyed that he can't have anyone staying from around the street. Keith tells him its asking for trouble and Rosie's parents will come to him if she got into any trouble. Craig says they are not stupid and took precautions. Keith says he knows what kids are like and it's the parent they blame. Craig reminds him that he's not his parent. Keith tells him he has a responsibility for him but Craig say he can look after himself.

Cafe - Blanch enters with Amy telling Tracy she only said she was going to the shop. Tracy says she saw Charlie and he's getting her a coffee. Blanche asks why she's with him and the pair look at each other and she knows. Blanch is going into town and tells Tracy she will have to have Amy. Tracy huffs saying she's dreading Christmas. He says, at least she has someone to share it with. Tracy thought he was going away but he says he wants to spend it with her only. Tracy says she has to spend it with Amy.

Salon - Keith apologizes to Audrey for what happened this morning. She asks how he got on with Craig and he tells her he should not have to deal with things like this. Audrey thinks they have set a bad example with her staying over. Keith says he's a randy fifteen year old and thinks no harm has been done. Audrey says Sarah has a five year old because of that attitude and insists that he tells Sally and Kevin.

Webster's - Sally asks questions about Rosie's sleep over. Rosie says they just watched tv and chatted. Sally asks if they have a plasma tv but the phone rings and it's her pal that she told her mum she has the sleep over with. Rosie quickly runs and take the phone from her mum. She thanks her friend for last night. As Sally goes to the kitchen Rosie tells her friend just to go with that she says and she will explain later. Rosie then says buy and her mum asks why she grabbed the phone. She didn't want her mum saying any thing embarrassing or putting on a posh voice. Rosie then says she was calling to say she can't go carol singing tonight.

Barlow's – Blanch is moaning because she is the last to know about Tracy and Charlie going out. She shows Ken a shirt and asks what he thinks. He says its nice and when he asks who's it for she says him. Deirdre asks why she's showing it to him. Blanch says if he does not like it she can change it for one he does like instead of having to wait days to get it changed.

Cab office - Eileen does not want Todd coming home and finding out about Sarah and Jason. Tracy enters wanting a cab. Steve tells her he wants Amy Christmas day as he gets her on a Sunday and that is Christmas day. Tracy reminds him that he can only get her one day a week and can see her Monday instead. Steve tells her he does not want Amy round Charlie as he is bad news.

Outside - Craig tells Rosie he has been calling her all morning. She tells him she left her phone switched off as she needs time to think and if her mum heard her she would know as her mum can read minds. Craig wants to be honest about every thing, as they have done nothing wrong. Rosie says he mad and she does not want her parents knowing. He goes to hug her but she pulls away telling him someone might see. He asks her if she regrets last night and she says she's glad they did it. Rosie then goes.

Rovers – Tracy says that Steve was bad mouthing him. Blanch approaches Tracy and shows her some thing asking if she likes it. Tracy says yes and Blanch turns around quickly and goes. Charlie tells Tracy just to let Steve has Amy so they can be alone.

Outside - Emily listens to Oak Hill carol singers sing O Come All Ye Faithful. Phil gets out his car and gives a wee smile as he sees the carol singers. He knocks on Gail's door. Gail lets him in.

Platt's - Phil tells Gail's that a burst pipe in the flat above has flooded his flat. He says the water is every where and the only dry clothes he has is the ones on him. He tells her the insurance company have said they can't replaster until everything is dried out. She tells him if he wants to stay the night he can. He tells her it might be a bit longer than that.

Rovers – Steve thinks Eileen should just phone Todd. Eileen decides to go phone him. Charlie tells Steve not to bad mouth him as he has done nothing. Steve tells him he is just looking out for his daughter. Charlie asks if he's a threat to her. He then says he can't stand any one going near Tracy. Steve laughs and says he can have her. Charlie tells him good because she's the only one he's interested in. Rita and Emily talk about the standards of carol singing that is slipping and they just want money. Rita says she loves a good carol so Emily tells her to come to church, as it's Reverend Ashbourne's last sermon.

Outside the Salon – The carol singers are singing. Audrey says buy to a customer and then listens to the carolers. She gives Rosie a funny look and she stops singing but then starts again.

Keith and Craig's - Keith returns home and has a wee heart to heart with Craig. He tells Craig that Audrey is threatening to tell Rosie's mum and dad. Craig tells his granddad that he's sorry he embarrassed him in front of Audrey and he will never do any thing like that again. Keith is convinced but Craig tells him he will keep on seeing Rosie. Keith then goes to put the kettle on.

At the Salon Audrey is taking Rosie through the back so she can give her money for the carol singing. Audrey tells her she knows her secret and should tell her mum and dad.

Amanda Souter

Now I bet you all thought Duncan would be back tonight - well not quite yet - so here I am again. As usual I would like to offer thanks to all the other update writers but as usual the place smells like a brewery and there are discarded bottles everywhere - finding a screen and keyboard was an uphill task.

Over in Weatherfield it has been a busy evening. Audrey intends to tell Kev and Sal just what our gothic pair of reprobates have actually been doing. Rosie tells Audrey it is not her problem and anyway she loves Craig and she knows what she is doing. Audrey points out that she was a single mother and knows what she is talking about - the men always get off scot free and the girls are left holding the baby. Rosie knows this will not happen to her - she is not a stupid slapper. Just as Sally walks in and wants to know what is going on. Audrey is about to inform Sally that her daughter is a real woman now but the look on Rosie's face stops her. Sally wants to be fitted in later for a hairdo prior to meeting an Oakhill mother for mince pies. Rosie keeps her secret for now

Along at single mother central (is it the Platt household now) Gail tells David that Phil is moving in until his flat has been dried out (it was so bored at the owner of the flat it has been on an alcoholic bender for the last three months and has decided that come off the jungle juice for Xmas is the solution). Anyway what was previously a burst pipe is now a bath overflowing upstairs. David scowls - he appears suspicious.

Over the road at the Websters Sophie is teasing Rosie - and wearing her best bra. A catfight ensues. And her best tights. Anyway it turns out that Sophie wants a Blossom (a padded bra in various sizes). £18.99 - well we all know what she wants for Christmas then.

Vera wants a Xmas present or else - and holds up Tyrone as a prime example. Amber demonstrates her delightful grown up and polished adult attitude by demanding coffee from the cafe and telling them that Dad would be along to pay later. Eric wants to take Carole to the Clock for Xmas - but she would rather spend time with Jamie - who instantly tells her not to be so silly - after all if she is with him she will also be with Frankie! And later Carole accepts the invitation agreeing that it will be quiet if she stays at Frankie's - and then realises that Frankie and Jamie can have a joke and perhaps more with each other - and if she is not there they can perhaps the more will come to fruition - so she will have lost both husband and son to the same woman. She storms out.

Whilst Sally is having her hair done she tells Audrey about Sophie's bra wishes and boasts how her two daughters always tell her everything. Oh dear Sally I rather think at the moment that Audrey knows something you don't!

Eileen sees a police car returning David to his home - as the officer explains to Gail he was attempting to break into a flat. And of course it is Phil's flat -David was spotted by the neighbours and reported. David asserts that he was simply looking through the window. No further action says the policeman. Later Gail guesses what David was doing and tells him to apologise to Phil - which David does with a bad grace - after all he was simply trying to protect Gail as he saw it.

Tracy tries to get a headphone wearing IPOD listening Amber to serve her. She just shouts for Dad to come out of the office. Tracy quickly assesses the situation and notes that she did not get her father's looks! Dev and Tracy trade insults. Sunita comes in and she and Amber also snipe at each other. Once Sunita has gone Dev - who does not know which way to turn - he wants Sunita and his children - but now he also apparently wants to know Amber and yet she can get through to him and she is so full of anger for the way she has been treated and yet she also wants to know Dev as a person. Complex.

Anyway Gail decides to tell Sophie not to want to grow up so quickly and asks Rosie if she has seen older girls going off the rails - drinking, carrying on etc - at Oakhill. Rosie looks a little alarmed and admits she has heard stories. As Sally observes they will regret it later!

Sarah does not want to join Eileen in the Rovers - after all Eileen has always got it in for her when there is a 'y' in the month - oh she means an 'e'! (Was Sarah always that stupid?). Anyway Eileen recounts David's return home, which Sarah is able to top by reporting that Phil is moving in.

And Gail and Phil are discussing David's recent transgression. How did David know where Phil lives? Gail supports David - he is not really a criminal - but as Phil asserts one mention of the Hillman word and David is forgiven everything. She snaps back that as he has no children he has no knowledge of the matter.

And that was that.

Not sure when Corrie is on over Xmas - but I will be back!

K Richard W

Written by: Mark Burt
Directed by: John Anderson

Jack is looking at the small ads in the window of t'Kabin, apparently looking for work. He doesn't think he fits the bill of being a 'bright, dynamic salesperson,' so wanders off.

A symbolic moment now for Gail and Phil ('Toe') Nail. He's had to get her to come out of work because he's left his briefcase in her house. So she gives him his own key. 'David's not going to like this,' Phil predicts. 'Tough,' says Gail, 'It's my house, and [simpers] yours too, now.' She gives him a kiss goodbye and goes back to work, leaving Phil looking slightly uneasy. As you would, after being given a key to the House of Doom.

Jack has gone to the garage to ask if there's any work going, but Kevin says there's barely enough for the employees he already has. Tyrone suggests that Jack could sell something to raise money to get Vera a nice present. Tyrone even suggests Jack could sell some of his pigeons. 'Wash your mouth out!' Jack says. Kevin says he could sell his soul, only Vera had that years ago. 'The problem is, she's got me heart as well,' Jack says rather movingly, and tells them that he's only half of a man, and that half isn't what it used to be. 'Does that mean he's quarter of a man?' Tyrone asks Kevin, showing an impressive grasp of mathematics but less of a grasp of rhetoric.

Keith and Audrey are in t'Rovers. He's upset because he's been to see Angela in prison, and the warders even had to search her Christmas presents, which distressed Craig. Keith is really worried about Craig, but he didn't tell Angela about Craig and Rosie because he didn't want to give her more to worry about. Audrey says that was probably for the best, and she tries to reassure Keith that he's doing a good job with Craig.

At the bar, Jack is trying to persuade Fred to take him on at the pub. He says he has more pub experience than all of Fred's current employees put together. Fred says that Jack is a bit past it all now. Jack says he's in the prime of his life but Fred says, 'I've got more life on that chopping block of mine.' Poor Jack. He says he suddenly feels 'very old and very cold.' Fred offers him a nice tot of something to warm him up.

On their way back from the pub, Audrey invites Keith (and Craig) to spend Christmas with her and the rest of Gail's family. 'It won't be anything fancy,' she says. Keith says he'd love to – he hadn't really been planning to do anything, what with Angela being banged up and Craig thinking Christmas is 'just another day.' Audrey tells him that 'there will be other Christmases.'

Eileen is home alone, sitting on the sofa surrounded by boxes of Christmas decorations and an unadorned tree, looking at a photo of Todd with a tear in her eye.

Keith gets home to find Rosie curled up on the sofa with Craig. 'I CAN'T BLOODY LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A MOMENT, CAN I?' he roars. Rosie says she'd better go, and as they get up Keith sees Craig's face – his eyeliner is all over the place, because he's been crying. He walks Rosie to the door and tells her he loves her and she says she loves him too and will call him later. Keith tries to apologise to Craig, but his grandson shrugs him off and goes upstairs.

At Roy's Rolls, Frankie is helping Jack look through the job ads in the newspaper. She spots one asking for artists' models – age and infirmity no barrier. Frankie thinks it's a wind-up but Jack goes off to pursue it: 'They're asking for the only thing I've got left – me.'

Nathan comes into the cafe for three bacon rolls. He and Frankie compare notes about their sad lives, and Nathan asks her out for a drink. She agrees, on the understanding that they're just mates.

Phil meets Eileen in the street, and she tells him she's heard they're going to be neighbours. He says it's just for Christmas while his flat gets sorted, and offers to help Eileen with her shopping. She refuses, but he takes some of the bags anyway: 'Like you say, we're neighbours now.'

Jack is waiting for someone at the Wethy Arms. A woman comes in with a scarf tossed over her shoulder in a manner that, in Weatherfield, denotes an Artistic Type. She approaches Jack and says she's the 'John Smith' who advertised for models, although her name is in fact Hillary Saunders. 'Let me look at you,' she says (she has a fantastic voice – plummy and posh and deep) and looks him up and down. 'You'll do!' she tells him.

Phil and Eileen are having a cup of tea together at her house. She mentions that she saw David with the police, and Phil explains that David had been trying to get into his flat to make sure it really had been flooded. Eileen doesn't believe that excuse, but Phil says he does. 'Never underestimate a Pla –' Eileen says, and stops herself. She says she hopes she's not keeping Phil from anything. He says, 'Is that you're way of saying get out?' She says she's glad he's there – she needs some help decorating the tree.

Jack is giving Hillary a full list of all his health complaints. 'You really are a wonderful wreck of a man,' she tells him warmly, adding that health is over rated. She says that as an artist what she does is 'Capture endings – death is perfection.' 'I've got a few years yet, you know,' Jack says. 'And I want to share them with you, in life and in the beyond.' He's worried he's going to end up pickled in a jar, but Hillary says she's a serious artist and he'll have as much dignity in death as he had in life. He says he'll need payment in advance, and asks for two hundred pounds. He's very surprised when she gives him it in cash, on the spot. 'Till death do us part,' she says, clasping his hand and winking in a sinister manner. (Personally I find the idea of someone wanting to artistically capture Jack's demise a bit upsetting).

Carol is in the cafe. She likes being in there when it's quiet, she tells Frankie, then asks her what she fancies for tea. Frankie says she's going out with Nathan – just as friends, of course, she adds. Carol says she could do a lot worse than Nathan.

Phil is bauble-ising Eileen's tree. Her eyes are full of tears. 'Todd's not coming home,' she says. 'We used to do this together.' She reminisces about Todd's childhood Christmases. He was heartbroken when Jason told him Santa wasn't real. 'He's good at that, our Jason.' Phil says he's sorry, and Eileen says it's just one of those things between brothers. 'And Sarah,' Phil says. Eileen says she doesn't hate Sarah, and knows she's been through her share of heartache, but she says it's just hard sometimes. She can't stop the tears, and Phil gives her a comforting hug, but after a moment Eileen pulls away from him: 'Where did that come from, eh?'

At Frankie's house, Jamie and Carol are in the kitchen, and Frankie comes in to say goodbye on her way out. She's all dressed up but doesn't look that thrilled at the prospect of her date. But she looks happier about it than Jamie, who looks deep in thought when Carol tells him Frankie is seeing Nathan.

At t'Rovers, Vera is telling Tyrone that she's getting Jack something special for Christmas but she's not telling anyone what it is – as far as Jack's concerned he's getting 'a pound of pick and mix and a dozen socks.' Vera goes out, passing Frankie who is on her way in. Frankie finds Nathan, who asks her what she wants to drink. She asks for lemonade – she's pacing herself! Nathan goes to the bar, and while he's there Jack comes in, with a gold-coloured gift bag presumably containing something for Vera. He gives Fred a twenty pound note and buys a drink for Tyrone too. Fred comments on his good spirits: 'You were at death's door earlier.' 'Aye,' says Jack, 'And that's where I'm staying.'

Rosie is at home and gets a text message from Craig saying he misses her. Kevin comes in, and Rosie tells him that Craig's been to the prison visiting his mum, and she feels so luck that she has Kevin and Sally. Kevin says he's the lucky one, and so is Craig because he's got Rosie. Rosie says she's glad he understands. Kevin gives her a big hug.

Jamie and Carol are at home watching television, but he's tense and keeps looking at his watch because Frankie isn't home yet. Carol says she'll be fine with Nathan but Jamie says he doesn't know Nathan. 'You don't know Eric, and it doesn't seem to bother you when I go out with him,' she says. 'I worry about both of you,' he says. 'That's what sons do.' 'I got news for you,' says Carol. 'You ain't her son.' Jamie looks thoughtful again.

In the pub, Jack is showing Tyrone the present he's got for Vera. It's a toby jug featuring the face of Edward VII. Finest Staffordshire pottery, hand-painted. Tyrone reckons Vera will love it, and asks where Jack got the money from, but Jack will only say that 'Out there there's someone who appreciates me for who I am.'

Phil and Gail are in the pub, too. She's worrying about David and Sarah, as usual, and tells Gail she hopes he won't give up on her – she knows she's got baggage. 'We all do,' says Phil wisely, 'The trick is not to carry it all at once.' He clasps her hand reassuringly.

Frankie is home from her night out. She tells Carol she had a nice time. Jamie comes downstairs, and Carol tells Frankie that Jamie was worried about her. 'I'm a grown woman,' Frankie says, and jokingly asks Jamie if it's alright if she goes to bed. She goes up, and Jamie is angry with Carol for humiliating him in front of Frankie. 'You're jealous!' Carol accuses him. 'What are you talking about?' he says, but the look on his face suggests that she might just have hit the old nail on the head. Ooh-er.

(end)

I'm not here next week – Margaret will be doing next Wednesday's episode. I hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas (if you celebrate Christmas, or a fantastic winter holiday or whatever), and I look forward to bringing you more Wednesday updates in 2006.

Sue Haasler

Well, the boys' Ba' went Down, the men's went Up, the last of the chocolate crumbs have been shaken from the keyboard and I'm digging into the mists of time to bring you an update from, oh, last Friday I think it was. Since then we've all eaten too much and made lengthy phone calls to Christmas barbecue lunches on the other side of the world where we have talked to sisters, brothers, fathers, nieces, nephews, step-nieces, step-nephews, brothers-in-law, a sister-in-law and a niece's boyfriend. I hung up when someone asked if I wanted to speak to my sister-in-law's father!

Anyway, as the days start to lengthen, we open in the factory, where the workers are trying to persuade management (ie, Danny) that it's traditional to finish work early on the last day before Christmas. Mike comes in and they transfer their complaints to him. He tells them they can go, and they all leap to their feet, "but you won't get your wages." They all sit down again. Mike goes into the office and tells an impatient Danny that he's been to get the wages, yes, but he also had to stop and do a little shopping. Mike says he'll organise the pay packets, so Danny goes early, leaving some very grumpy workers behind him. In the office, Mike pulls out a small box and opens it to reveal a diamond ring.

In the taxi office, there's another disgruntled worker -- Les. He thinks they're missing out. All day they're taking people backward and forward to parties, so why can't they have a party? Meanwhile, poor Eileen is telling punters they'll have to wait 25 minutes -- Les insists on his tea break and Steve is desperately trying to find the end of the roll of sticky tape so he can wrap gifts for Amy. Ronnie bursts in, angry because she's nearly run over an accountant with antlers who just wandered into the road. Les won't stop going on about the party but Steve tells him he's skint, especially since he just spent £200 on presents for Amy.

Back in the factory, Penny arrives and is surprised to see all the staff still there. She goes into the office and finds a very frustrated Mike, who can't make the numbers add up. She doesn't notice him slip the ring case into a desk drawer. She offers to help.

Rita and Emily climb into Steve's cab, asking him to take them to St Xavier's church. "Do you know, you're the only people I've picked up today who aren't either drunk or about to get drunk," he tells them. "Hoi!" says Rita. "Don't jump to conclusions." Steve's start is delayed when he spots Tracy and Charlie heading for the Rovers and calls Tracy over to ask where Amy is. She gives him a facetious reply and goes into the pub.

Jamie arrives home and Carol thinks he's seen the gift she is wrapping. She wanted it to be a surprise. She shows him a silver ring engraved with the initial J, with "love from Mum" on the inside. He tries it on and it fits. It's cost a week's wages. She tells him she's now got things to look forward to again. She suggests they get a place together, but Jamie isn't so sure. "It'll be healthier for all of us."

In the cafe, Frankie is telling Liz and Deirdre about Carol's new life. She thinks it's weird having a Christmas where Danny isn't involved. Danny walks in and they spar. "You going to miss me at Christmas?" he asks. "Not if Santa brings me that telescopic sight I've asked for," she replies. Danny gives her a pyramid-shaped gift box of cosmetics, but she knows they on two-for-one at £5.99 and she doesn't want anything from him. He says it's for Frankie to give to Penny, because he knows Penny's got her something. When he leaves, an very annoyed Frankie tells the others that she did get Penny something -- that exact gift set, so now she's got three of them on her hands and still has to go back to the shop to get something else for Penny, because she wouldn't give Danny the satisfaction of handing over what he'd chosen!

In the church, Emily and Rita shuffle into a pew next to Ed, otherwise known as the excellent Christopher Walker, who was last seen in Corrie as Ray Thorpe, who took Trisha Armstrong away with him. If you don't remember Ray, Chris Walker also plays "Tiger" in Mersey Beat and Matthew Mullen in Playing The Field. He says they didn't have to get a taxi. He would have given them a lift. It's the vicar's last service at the church and the service gets under way. As they get to their feet for O Come All Ye Faithful, Emily explains to Rita that Ed has been very kind to her since he joined the congregation.

Mike is telling Penny about their family Christmas plans. She's done the wages. For a moment, he seems miles away and she asks if he's going to give out the wages. He goes to the safe, despite the wages being in clear view on the desk, but then tells Penny he was looking for something else. Penny looks very worried.

Steve arrives in the pub carrying a huge bag full of gifts and again tells Tracy that Sunday is his day and he wants to see Amy. Tracy argues that Christmas is a special day and she's having Amy with her. "If you're so keen to see her, why don't you go and pick her up now?" Charlie asks. Steve asks where she is and Tracy says she's with Deirdre. "You can have half an hour with her if you like." Steve leaves and Tracy tells Charlie she misdirected Steve so they could have time to finish their drinks. Amy is at the nursery.

At the church, a tearful Emily says goodbye to the vicar and introduces Rita. Ed and Rita comfort Emily and he offers them a ride home.

Deirdre breaks the news to Steve that Amy isn't there. "Tracy's fallen out with us again," she explains. "The way things are going, I don't think we'll be seeing Amy over Christmas." It's the last straw for Ken. He heads off to the pub.

In the Rovers, Frankie is handing over Penny's gift. Penny says Frankie's is in the boot of the car. Tracy and Charlie are looking very smug, but Ken tells her: "Enough of these games. Don't you think your mother and Steve have a right to see Amy at Christmas?" "No," says Tracy. Charlie tells her she's acting like a big kid and Deirdre and Steve do have a right to see Amy. Tracy points out to Ken that this is the man they think is wrong for her. Tracy says she'll bring Amy round to her parents' place first thing in the morning and Steve can have her for a couple of hours in the afternoon -- provided everyone backs off her and Charlie. They agree. As Danny and Leanne arrive, Frankie decides to go home. Penny goes with her to give her the present.

Outside, they pass the Sally Army band playing carols, just as Ed drops off Rita and Emily, leaving his phone number with Emily. He gives her a strange look as he gets back into his car. Methinks he might be on the lookout for a rich widow to fleece, but Emily thinks he sees her as "a good cause -- someone who needs help. The worst of it is he's right." Rita says Emily's got Norris, but that doesn't impress Emily. Ronnie is cleaning vomit from the back seat of her car and meets a depressed Steve, who once again mentions how hard up he is.

Back in the pub, Mike is trying to convince Jamie to be at the family Christmas dinner. Jamie shows him the ring and that reminds Mike he's left Penny's gift at the factory.

Outside at the car, Penny hands Frankie a pyramid-shaped parcel! Mike tells her he's picking up something from the factory. He goes in, but either can't remember what he's gone there for or can't find it. He wanders about with a puzzled look on his face until Penny comes in. He locks up and they leave, but not before he casts another puzzled look around the factory.

The End.

Margaret Carr

Well, Christmas has come and gone, we've been treated to a feast of Corrie over the last few days, with double length episodes, a Family Album and even a Corrie pantomime! Brilliant.

Anyway, in this lull between the Christmas and New Year festivities, I bring you the report of the Christmas day, hour-long episode.

We open with Ashley and Claire, in their dressing gowns, putting pressies under the tree. Ashley whips out a jewelry box and gives it to Claire, saying, "Happy Anniversary!" It's a really pretty necklace, and she tells him she's got him a special combined Christmas and anniversary present. Just as she's about to deliver, Fred and the absolutely gorgeous Joshua come down the stairs, all loud and enthusiastic. Claire whispers she'll give it to him later.

Over at Mike's. Adam open his present, a watch, from his dad, and Mike hands Penny a present. She's lost for words, it's a road atlas! He reminds her of the time they couldn't find a hotel they were looking for once, because she didn't have a road atlas. She tells him it's the most thoughtful present she's ever had. (The ring he bought her is, presumably, still sitting, forgotten, in the office drawer).

Fiz and Leanne arrive at the Battersby-Brown front door at the same time, laden with presents. They go in, expecting Cilla to be violent and Les to be drunk, but find to their surprise all is peace and harmony within. Les, Kirk and Chesney are playing board games on the floor, and a laughing Cilla emerges from the kitchen and invites them to stay to dinner, "There's loads of food," she warbles. Leanne wonders to Fiz if they've been transported into a parallel universe, and Fiz says it's either that or the family have been abducted by aliens and replaced with Stepford Battersbys. This happy scene doesn't last however, just as Les and Kirk start fighting over the game, Cilla rushes out from the kitchen screaming that the oven is bust and they can't cook the turkey. According to Cilla, it's all Les's fault. "Ah, that's better," says Fiz.

Across the road, Carol is snuggled up to Jamie on the sofa, there is discarded gift wrap all around, as she tells him he can't know what this means to her as they've missed so many Christmases. Just then Frankie comes in, she's a little miffed as she thought they would all be opening their presents together. Carol tells her that Jamie couldn't wait, "You know what kids are like on Christmas morning," she says, as Jamie looks at her askance. Frankie is finding it all strange, she's used to having a houseful at Christmas. Carol then tells her that she and Jamie are thinking of moving out and getting a place together. Jamie is obviously uncomfortable at her telling Frankie this, and says, "Well, not thinking exactly….." but Carol tells him that Frankie has to know at some time. Just then the phone rings, "Oh it's you," says Jamie when he answers it, and Frankie, assuming it's Danny, says she doesn't want to talk to him. However, it turns out to be Warren on the phone, ringing from Spain, and Frankie wrestles the phone of Jamie, thrilled to be talking to her son. "It's a special time, Christmas, for mothers and sons," Carol tells Jamie.

Over at the Barlow's, Blanche is giving Deirdre cooking tips and Deirdre wonders when this Christmas tradition of criticising her cooking began. Just then Tracy arrives, with Amy in tow, who's wearing new dress and shoes, courtesy of Charlie. Tracy tells them Charlie's very generous, "With his fists too, by all accounts," remarks Blanche. Tracy tells her if she makes one more crack like that, she's leaving, but Ken calls for a Christmas truce.

In Steve's flat, Ronnie produces another gift for Steve, and when he opens it he's shocked to find five thousand pounds in cash. She tells him he dropped enough hints about being skint, and can't understand why he's not delighted. Considering this money is the secret stash of her husband who tried to kill both of them, it's hardly surprising, as he's worried about keeping his legs. "You're husband is a killer shark," exclaims Steve, his voice rising with hysteria, "and you've just poked him in the eye with a pointy stick!"

In the Rovers, Jack comes in, he's left Vera at home on the phone to Terry, she'll be along later. He's brought the limited edition, hand-painted Edward VII mug with him, so he can earn lots of Brownie points by giving it to her in public.

The Baldwin clan have arrived at the Clock for their posh Christmas nosh, Mike's book a table for six, but there are only five of them. He doesn't seem quite sure why, but he suggests a drink at the bar, "We're not all here yet," he tells the waiter. As Penny and Leanne sit down, Leanne tells Penny they have something in common, they're both going out with older men. She tells her that Danny is ‘really active' (said with innuendo) and wonders how long men of that age keep up the pace. Penny frostily suggests they talk about something else. Over at the bar, Adam points out to Danny that Carol is sitting at another table with her new boss. Danny strides over and demands to know what she's doing there, and then rather nastily tells Eric that he's being used and Carol is only there for one thing, to stir it for him and his family. Carol tells him to go back to his little tart, that she and Eric were looking forward to a quiet Christmas dinner. "Watch her, Eric," murmurs Danny, "watch her like a hawk." Carol looks shaken and decides to have a glass of wine.

Ashley and Claire are out putting discarded wrapping into the dustbin, she tries again to tell him what his Christmas present is, when yet again they are disturbed by Fred. "Our Joshua's just been sick," he announces.

At the Battersby's the turkey (sporting a pair of sunglasses!) is getting a tan on the sunbed. Les is aghast, "You can't cook a turkey on a sunbed," he tells them. Then Cilla has an idea, she grabs the turkey and tells Yana to grab the sprouts and spuds and follow her. She tells the others to go to the pub, she'll see them in there. "Don't eat too many nuts and crisps," she says, "you've got a big turkey dinner to come."

Keith has just opened his present from Audrey, a pair of gardening gloves. They're off to Gail's for their dinner, but Craig doesn't want to come, he's not in the mood. As soon as they've gone he starts texting on his phone.

In the Webster household, they are all sitting round the table wearing party hats and reading the jokes out of the crackers. Rosie's phone bleeps. "Who's calling her on Christmas day?" wonders Kevin, but Sally and Sophie chorus, "Craig!" Rosie asks if she can go to Craig's but Sally won't let her go. She suggests Rosie invites him over to them later.

Steve and Ronnie arrive at the Barlow's, to give Amy her presents. Tracy thinks she'll go to the pub, and Deirdre tries to get her to stay, "Liz'll be here in a minute," she tells her. Tracy isn't impressed. Just then however, Steve and Ronnie start to squabble, she wants to go but he wants to stay and play with his daughter. Tracy perks up and takes interest, and decides not to go to the pub after all.

In the Clock restaurant, Penny takes a call from Viv, she'll be there soon. Across the room, Carol is getting well oiled, and is pouring out her life story to the unfortunate Eric. At the Baldwin table, Adam too has had a few too many and remarks that he's just realised that Leanne has slept with three Baldwin men, Mark, Jamie and Danny, and wonders when it will be his turn. He calls her a Baldwin groupie, and Danny tells him to turn it in, or he'll put him on to lemonade until he's old enough to handle a real drink. "Are you looking for a festive fist in the face?" Danny asks him, "'cos that's what you're going to get if you carry on, son." "Brother," Adam corrects him, smirking, "I know it must be hard for you, my big, Cockney brother, but try and keep up."

Claire and Ashley are in the kitchen, she tries again to tell him what his present is, when again Fred comes in.

Over at the Barlow's, they are all sitting round the table playing party games. Squabbling starts to break out, and Steve murmurs to Ronnie that they will go soon. Ken buries his head in his hands.

In the Clock, Carol is getting absolutely hammered. She tells Eric that there was a time when she would have walked over to Danny's table and caused a terrible scene. But not any more, she has her pride, her self-respect. She then says she's going to the little girl's room, but as she passes their table she can't resist. She tells the waitress to watch Danny, he'll have his hand up her skirt. She then sways her way round the table, being loud and abusive. Mike tries to tell her to go away, or they'll all be kicked out. Carol, though, will not be hushed.

Frankie and Jamie are eating their Christmas dinner at home together. He reassures her that he's not going to move out with Carol, right now he's just where he wants to be. She wonders if the whole mess is her fault for taking up with Danny in the first place, but he assures her that she's the only decent person in the family. Just then Jamie's phone rings, it's Leanne.

Cilla and Yana are in the chippy, they've deep fried the brussel sprouts, and then Cilla throws the whole turkey into the fat. They decide to give in an hour to cook and go off to the pub.

Back in the restaurant, the head waiter is trying to persuade Carol to return to her table. Eric comes over and tries too, but an alcoholic can never be reasoned with. Just then, Jamie and Frankie arrive to collect her. "Jamie, my lovely boy," she purrs, "what are you doing with No. 1 tart?" Carol then rambles on about how the Baldwin men can't keep their trousers on. "Selfish, sleazy and sick," she slurs across the table. Eric leaves, telling Jamie to look after her. They take her away, and just then Viv, Danny's mum arrives. "Where's Harry, parking the car?" asks Mike, looking much more cheerful. They all stare at him aghast, "What?" he asks, "will someone tell me where Harry is?" Penny tells him that Harry is dead, he died six months ago. Mike obviously has no recollection of this and wants to know when, and how. Visibly shaken, Mike apologises to Viv, saying he doesn't know what he was thinking.

Vera marches into the Rovers, saying she thought she'd find Jack in there. Jack gives her the mug – Great Grandad Edward! She's delighted and Jack reckons that all the sacrifices were worth it. She then produces her present to him – deeds to a burial plot, so they can be side by side for eternity! He then tells her that he's sold his body to the famous artist so he could buy the mug. Vera is not happy, she doesn't want to be six feet under in Weatherfield Cemetery and have him pickled in some art gallery. He explains that she wants to document his life, and paint him in various poses. "In the nuddy?" Vera demands to know, "you've sold your body to a woman who wants to paint you in the nuddy?" She then vows that they are buying his body back!

At the Barlows, they are still playing party games, just then Tracy brings Charlie in. Deirdre says she's not having that man in her house, but Tracy won't be put off.

Back at the restaurant, Mike says he's been busy and rushing around, that was what was responsible for his memory lapse. He goes out for a walk to clear his head.

The Websters are still sitting round the table, now joined by Craig, and they toast the coming year. Craig and Rosie then decide to go out for a walk.

Ashley, Claire, Joshua and Fred are eating their dinner. Fred assumes that Claire has forgotten Ashley's Christmas and anniversary present. "Do you want it now?" she asks him, and he assures her that he does. "I'm pregnant," she announces, "I'm carrying your child!" She then turns to Joshua, "that means that you, gorgeous boy, are going to have a little brother or sister to play with!" They hug, and Ashley reckons it's the best Christmas present he's ever had. There's a ring at the door and Fred goes to answer it. They decide that they won't tell anyone until she's past twelve weeks, but Bev bursts in and congratulates them, Fred just told her the news! Fred is overcome, he says he thought she forgot and there she is, with a present for the whole family!

Out in the street, the Fire Brigade has arrived at the chippy, which is ablaze! The Battersbys come out of the pub and stand and watch. "Our turkey's in there?" Les asks Cilla in disbelief. She tells him to shut up. Yana reckons she now knows what she wants for Christmas, a fireman!

Over on the steps of Underworld, Mike sits, sobbing his heart out. Rosie and Craig come along and ask if he's all right. Just then Jamie comes up, and tells them he'll handle it. He sits down next to Mike and asks what's the matter. Between sobs Mike tells him he went for walk and couldn't find his way back to the restaurant or his way home. He thinks there's something wrong with him, he forgot his brother was dead, they were all looking at him and he couldn't remember their names. He's scared, he thinks he's losing his mind.

Annie Logan.

First part of tonight

Baldwin's – Penny is frying bacon and eggs. Mike comes through and she's asks if he remembers what happened at the restaurant. He says he would do it again and not tell Carol where they are going. She reminds him that he forgot his brother died and he could not find his way home. Viv says he is just stressed and hopes Mike has not forgot he promised he could take her to the sales. Penny thinks he should not be going out. Mike says there is nothing wrong with him.

Steve's flat – Ronnie asks why they call it Boxing Day. Steven says she always talks about Jimmy. Ronnie says he always talks about Karen. He reminds her that she left a year ago today. Steve then wonders why he always attracts the psychos. Ronnie then says they should take the five grand and go some where nice.

Danny and Leanne's flat – Danny pours wine and Leanne wants to pretend it's Christmas day. Leanne asks Danny if he thinks Mike was drunk at the restaurant. Danny says he does not know but thinks he has Alzheimer's. Leanne does not think this. Danny tells her any other circumstances it would be fine by him but what about the business. She says they should talk about it later.

Webster's- Sally says she really likes her dressing gown that the girls have got her. Sophie wants to go to the sales to get a booster bra and Rosie just laughs. Sally says being eleven she should be out with her mates and going bike rides. Kevin says to Sally, she never did that and was gobby.

Baldwin's – Frankie is on the phone to Warren who has a problem with his cooker. Jamie interrupts her saying that Carol is missing. Frankie tells him she will phone him back. She tells Jamie that Carol has probably gone for a walk. Jamie thinks she's probably in a gutter. Frankie tells him not to worry and he says he's not going to.

Rovers – Leanne tells Janice they think Mike is losing his mind. As Janice opens her Christmas present from Leanne she is surprised. It's a figurine she has always wanted and she knows it is expensive. Cilla gets a text from Chesney asking when they are going to be home. Les says he has been on his own for two hours. Cilla says he has a tv and you are never alone with a tv. Cilla then tells Les his next free pint just walked in. She calls across to her boss Wongy asking if she's going to be out of a job and if she is she will take him to the tribunals. He tells her that everything is fine and back to work tomorrow. She then get him to get her and Les a drink. She tells Les this is her works party and then tells Wongy to get her a bag of cheese and onion.

Cab office – Ronnie enters and Steve says there's a present for her. Steve gets a call for a cab while she opens it and find's its from Jimmy. A piece of paper falls to the ground but she hides it before Steve sees. He has given her an amethyst bracelet. Steve wonders how Jimmy was able to get a present. She says contacts. Steve says his dad is inside but he does not find presents and tells her it was inside here and how ever left it has a key or broke it. They argue and she says she's going to the pub.

Rovers – Liz and Vernon enter to find Fred pouring champagne. Fred asks what the three R's on Liz's t-shirt means. She tells him it's Vernon's band. Bev offers them a glass of champagne and Fred tells them he's going to be a granddad. Ashley and Claire enter and Liz says congratulations and says Fred has told them. She asks Fred how many people he has told. He replies saying just the people in here. Claire wants to leave but Bev tells her to stay and says Fred was just excited and won't tell any one else.

Baldwin's – Penny tells Adam that Mike is not well and this is the begging of some thing big. She says how he has been forgetting things and didn't know were he was or who he was. Mike enters with Viv and says he had a good time.

Rovers – Steve enters and approaches Ronnie who says she's not wearing the bracelet. Ronnie says Jimmy knows about the money and she's going to see him and sort this out. He says her husband is inside for GBH and he knows he has five grand of his money and reminds her that Jimmy tried to kill them. She tells him to shut up but he says no wonder he used to knock you about but stops and apologies. She storms off.

Baldwin's – Mike asks Adam what's up. Penny says he is worried about you and tells Mike he should go see a doctor. Viv says she saw a cardie in the sales but Penny does not care what she has seen. Mike asks Penny what she has seen today, that makes her think he needs to see a doctor. She reminds him of yesterday. Adam says he should take it easy and offers to help more at the factory. Mike thinks this is about Adam and Danny. Adam says he is not going to acknowledge Danny as his brother. Penny says that not the problem. Mike goes off on one and says there is nothing wrong with him and yesterday he does not know what happen and thinks some one spiked his drink. He then says he's the head of this family and the factory and does not want any more talk of him seeing a doctor and working less at the factory.

Amanda Souter

Hi everyone. Here is the update for the second episode on Boxing Day, 26th December.

We open in Danny and Leanne's flat. Penny has called round to ask Danny if he can perhaps have a word with Mike and get him to see a doctor. What she first thought of as part of the aging process she fears is something worse. "After all, you don't just forget that your brother has died, do you?" she says. She talks about the need for making wills, and sorting out power of attorney. She gets upset, saying that he has to do these things while there's still time. She asks Danny if he will persuade Mike to see a doctor. Danny gives her a hug and assures her that he will.

Meanwhile, Mike is in a jeweler's shop, obviously having forgotten that there's a ring sitting in it's box in his desk drawer. He picks out another ring, and the jeweler asks if this for a New Year's proposal. Mike tells him it is.

Out in Coronation Street, Ronnie is all dressed up in readiness to visit Jimmy in prison. Steve is not at all happy and tells her to tell him that they'll give the money back. She says "We'll see," and Steve tells her that she's giving him false hope. She snorts that she'd rather give him false hope than five grand, and off she goes.

In the Baldwin residence, Frankie tells Jamie that Eric, Carol's boss has phoned because she hasn't turned up for work. Jamie is worried and wants to call the police but Frankie tells him that this isn't the first bender she's been on, she's a grown woman with experience, and she's not even been missing 24 hours yet. She assures him that Carol will turn up.

In the Rovers, Vera moans to Sean about Jack selling his body to the artist, and tells Jack that his body belongs to her. Jack says he's signed the contract and spent the money. Sean reckons it all sounds a bit dodgy to him, but Jack pulls out a card and reads off Hillary Sander's name, and says she has letters after her name and everything. Vera snatches the card, wondering if there's a phone number on it. She rushes straight to the phone in the pub and makes a call, then tells Hillary Sanders to keep her hands off her husband.

Leanne is talking to Danny, telling him that Penny only wants power of attorney so that she can get her hands on Mike's money. Danny doesn't think so, after all Penny has plenty of money of her own, he thinks she genuinely cares about Mike. He tells Leanne that Mike could live for years, and his care could cost a fortune. He says that unless they marry, Penny wouldn't even be next of kin. Leanne then thinks that all the money would go to Danny and Adam, but Danny tells her that he has no way of proving that he's Mike's son, he's not mentioned on his birth certificate, and he's sure he won't be in Mike's will. Leanne tells him to work on Mike so that he changes his will.

Over at the Webster's, Sophie is moaning about the fact that she never got a booster bra, and she just won't co-operate when she's asked to go and fetch Rosie from Craig's house. Sally grumbles that she's spent hundreds on them both for Christmas, and Sophie points out that the only thing she wanted cost £18.99. Sally tells her that a girl of her age should not be drawing attention to her chest. Sophie flounces out of the room.

Liz MacDonald is with Vernon in the Rovers. She thinks they should be heading off to his gig but he reckons they can wait a bit longer. He's fed up with doing all the setting up when the singer just arrives when it's all done.

Vera is telling Jack how she told Hillary Sanders to stay away from him or she'll stab her eyes out with the pointy end of a paint brush. Just then a voice says, "I've left my brushes back at the studio darling!" There is Hillary explaining that she had to come when she heard Vera's voice with such passion!

Ronnie has arrived at the prison to see Jimmy. He gloats that he knew she'd come. He asks her to move back home, and asks for a kiss, but Ronnie refuses.

Back at the Rover's, Vera is enraged by the appearance of Hillary and throws Jack's pint all over her. Sean suggests she leaves, but she just beams and isn't bothered at all. She asks them what they think of when they hear the name Henry VIII, and the Mona Lisa, how their paintings immortalised them. Vera asks if that's what she intends to do to Jack. Hillary tells her that she did, until she heard Vera on the phone, then she decided it just has to be a double portrait – a series of portraits.

Over at the prison, Jimmy tells Ronnie that he thinks she took his money and has moved in with Steve to see how far she can push him, she loves it all really. She tells him coldly that the five thousand is her severance pay. He says that the money is his and if he doesn't get it back he'll kill both of them. She tells him it's the taxman's money and if they're not left alone she will give it to them. Then at Jimmy's trial she'll tell where the rest is. Then she'll bleed him dry in the divorce courts. Then she tells him, "No more threats, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year." She then gets up and walks out, to him shouting, "I will get out of here one day you know!"

In the Baldwin house, Carol finally rolls in after being out all night. Jamie is upset and wants to know why she vanished like that. She tells him she can't stand to see what's going on in this house, and looks at Frankie. Jamie tells her there's nothing going on, but Carol reckons that Frankie wants to get her claws into Jamie. He tells her to go to bed and sleep it off.

Danny goes to see Mike, who says that Penny and Adam have been on at him all day to retire. Danny asks if that would be such a bad thing, but Mike says that Adam is too young, too green. He reckons he can't retire until the two of them are equals, a partnership. Danny points out that he bought a 49 percent share of the business, so reckons that when Mike gives up his 51 percent share it ought to be split equally between him and Adam. He tells Mike that he's grafted all his life in the rag trade, while Adam is straight out of public school. Mike says that when Adam is ready he'll give him 50 percent, and Danny one percent. Danny asks if he thinks that's fair, and Mike smiles and says that he thinks it's best.

Ronnie gets home and Steve asks if she gave the five grand back. She tells him that Jimmy said they could use it as compensation and she's told him they are going to go on holiday with it. She tells Steve she's sorted it out with Jimmy and it's over.

Danny is still talking to Mike and asks him if he's going to give him back all the money he paid for the 49 percent share. Mike says he's got to have money to live on. He confesses that Penny and Adam have been on at him to see a doctor and he's getting a bit scared. He asks if Danny thinks he's losing his marbles. Danny tells him he's as fit as a fiddle, and not to take any notice of Penny and Adam. Mike is pleased and tells him there's life in the old dog yet.

Annie Logan

Good afternoon/evening/morning all. Sue's away over Christmas and New Year, so I've taken off the sparkly earrings and put down the bottle of bubbly to bring you Wednesday's episode.

Deirdre stops Liz and Ronnie in the street and hears that they're off to the shops to buy Ronnie something to wear on the beach in the Caribbean. Unluckily, they are overheard by Tracy The Tightlipped Termagant. She smiles pleasantly but has trouble holding it on her face and hurriedly asks her mother to look after Amy because she has to go into town.

It's brunch time but Frankie's still in robe and curlers (she's obviously been spending too much time with Vera). She's talking to Jamie when Carol comes thundering down the stairs, berating them for not waking her up. "I thought you was at work," says Frankie. Jamie points out that Frankie wasn't the one on a bender. He demands to know where Carol went. She says it's none of his business, "and when I remember, I'll tell you!" Frankie doesn't think Carol should go to work in her present state but off she goes.

At the Baldwin senior's, Penny is telling Adam she has to be away for a couple of days because her mother is sick. Adam is worried about Mike but Frankie says he'll be fine. When Adam's gone, Mike promises her there will be a surprise waiting for her when she gets back. "I love you," she tells him.

In the cafe, Sophie would be horrified to hear her mother loudly telling all and sundry: "I wouldn't mind, but she's got nothing to put in a bra." She and Kelly, Fizz and Janice all discuss when they first started wearing a bra. Vera, overhearing all this, asks Roy if he's interested in Sophie Webster's underwear. "Ah, no," he says. "I can understand the fascination her mother might have for the manifestation of her burgeoning adolescence." Vera turns to a preoccupied Hayley. "Does he worry you? Because he frightens me." Roy suggests Hayley sit down for a break. But Hayley, much less articulate than usual, tell him she talks bra and pants all day at work and could do with a change while she's in the cafe.

In the Rovers, TTTT is talking to Charlie about a great deal on a holiday to Madeira. She wants Charlie to pay for it because the need some quality time together. Sean points out they could go next door for that. Or, suggests Nathan, they could go to Madeira and not come back. Charlie suggests he butt out. "OK, we'll go," he tells Tracey.

Carol's mood is no better. She's been sacked. "He said I was late, I was dirty and I couldn't do the job." Jamie points out that at least two of those are right. Frankie suggests that if Carol makes an effort Eric will take her back. Jamie spots a stain on Carol's sleeve and asks if she threw up. Carol denies it. Jamie goes out, admitting it's to get away from Carol.

Tracy has taken Amy to the taxi office. "Can you look after her for a few days while I go away?" she asks. Steve is dead keen, but then Tracy lets him know that it's starting Saturday. When Steve points out he's going away, Tracy acts all pathetic. "It's the only time Charlie can get off," she says. Steve agrees to try to change his dates. "I can't believe we booked it for the same date!" Tracy says. I wonder if her pants are igniting.

Frankie is telling Nathan that she doesn't feel like celebrating New Year. He convinces her that even if Danny turns up at the Rovers, she can still have a good time. She crosses the road to Jamie, who is sitting on Maxine's bench. Leanne walks past and they snipe at each other. She tells Jamie they need each other and she will always stick by him.

Leanne has gone in to see Danny, who's trying to catch up with paperwork at the factory. He tries to get rid of her. He says chaos will follow if he leaves it to Mike. He opens a drawer to prove how bad Mike is. "Look, stock sheets, memos, spreadsheets, jewelry!" There is the engagement ring Mike left there before Christmas. It's engraved "PK MB 24.12.2005".

In the Rovers, Keith is getting allotment advice from Jack. Keith's name is now on the waiting list for one, but Jack says he won't have long to wait because there are always a couple of the old fellows keeling over during winter. "Eeeew!" says Audrey. "Dead men's shoes!" "I worship dead men's shoes," says another voice. "The sweat, the scuff marks, so evocative. And the odours -- mmmmm!" Yes, it's the mad artist woman. Jack hustles her off to the cafe.

Mike is showing Jamie an engagement ring -- not the same one. Mike suggests Jamie's a bit of a lady-killer himself. But Jamie's gone off women. "There are a lot of men like your father," Mike says. "I'm one of them." Jamie wants to know why Danny went after Leanne. "Does he hate me that much?" Mike says he went after Viv, but it didn't mean he hated his brother. But he says he wouldn't cheat on Penny. However, he does have one thing to say to Jamie. "I'm glad you were born. And if I hadn't cheated on my own brother, you wouldn't have been. Is that what you want?" "Sometimes," Jamie admits.

Steve, Ronnie and Liz are at Tracy's door, hammering hard. When she opens it, Steve tells her she set him up and not to bother dropping off Amy. "I'll do anything for her, but I'll do nothing for you." Janice, Kelly and Fizz arrive and start to interfere. "Smash her in the face, Steve," Janice laughs. Deirdre comes out to see what's going on. "We booked our holiday first. You can cancel yours!" Steve spits at Tracy before leaving.

In the cafe, Hayley is off out. She still seems out of sorts, but won't tell Roy why. Hillary Sanders is going off the idea of putting Jack and Vera's ashes into paint and is wondering about a collage of body parts. She points out that they cut bits off their bodies all the time -- hair, fingernails. There's a hairdresser's in every street because people are willing to spend the money to create an image. "Fortunately for an artist, fluids are freely available." Vera asks what fluids. Look away now, gentle reader, if you're eating your dinner. "Secretions. Excretions," she says. "I'm particularly interested in vomit." "OH!!" cry Jack and Vera in unison. Hillary suggests they both pose in the nude for her students. Vera refuses outright. Once Vera's gone, Jack suggests he and Hillary talk outside. "How much is the fee?" Jack asks. He agrees to do it as long as Vera doesn't find out.

Tracy flounces into the Rovers to speak to her mother. "You knew what you were doing," Deirdre says. "Cancel your holiday. Look after your child." Tracy pouts that Steve will ruin everything, but Deirdre points out that Tracy didn't even want a holiday until she heard Steve was going. Sean comes over with a bottle of wine that the label claims will enhance beef, lamb and venison. "Does it do anything for left-over turkey?" Deirdre asks. "It can't work miracles," he points out. In this episode, we have a proper Greek chorus in Kelly, Fizz and Janice. Janice tells Tracy that once she could have just put Amy in an orphanage. Fizz and Kelly point out that she's a worse mother than theirs were. "You know, if you're not careful, your little kid, she's going to end up just like me," Fizz says. Charlie has arrived and Tracy tells him the whole world is giving her a hard time. "There's no help for single mothers." Janice points out that when she was a single mother, she didn't get so far as Morecambe. Charlie tells Tracy that if Madeira's a problem, he can always take someone else. He says he's not joking. Then he says he thought this might happen, so he didn't go anywhere near the travel agent's. "And do you know why? Because I like to choose where and when I go on holiday. Not to mention how much it's going to cost. And no two-year-old is ever going to figure in that equation."

Mike is reassuring Jamie that the right woman will come along. "There's always something to be happy about. You couldn't have already met her. Love's a slow burner. Sometimes you know someone for years before you realise. She could already be in your life." "She is," admits Jamie. He won't tell Mike any more about it. "Does she love you," Jamie. Jamie says he thinks and hopes she does.

Danny is speculating about Mike and Penny getting married. Penny will take over the factory. Then she'll inherit the lot when Mike dies. "Thank you, Danny Boy, and good night." Leanne points out that at least he knows what he's up against. "Yeah," he says, looking thoughtful.

The End

Margaret Carr

Yep, it's me again, this time with Friday's episode. And gosh, am I looking forward to all those "Out of office auto reply" messages from all you Kiwis to remind me that a) It's the summer holidays there; and b) All you naughty people are using your work computers to read this! If I was Tracy I could use that information to force you all to send me Sanitarium peanut butter, Jaffas and Toffee Pops! And some proper Glad Wrap.

Anyway, on with the show.

Sally is putting on some lippy when Rosie wants to know if she looks OK. "Do you want me to lie or tell the truth?" asks Sally. Lie. "OK, you look fantastic! Put a coat on," Sally says in her most Ena Sharples manner. Sophie is apparently grumpy at spending New Year with Aunty Emily. Rosie ready agrees to their conditions for her going out -- they'll be back from the Rovers by 12.30, so she has to be in bed before one.

At the Barlows': "You are so selfish! You don't think of anyone but yourself, do you?" No, you're wrong. It's Tracy speaking to her mother! Ken just about explodes. Deirdre tells him to let her blow herself out. Tracy is absolutely furious that they're planning to go out on New Year's Eve and won't stay home to see to Amy. "I can't stay in on my own on New Year's Eve." "You won't be on your own," Deirdre points out. "You'll have your daughter with you." Ken is trying to offer to stay in, but Deirdre won't have it. "Eat your beans! We're going out!"

Keith is also going out. Before he does, Rosie arrives, assuring him that her mother knows where she is. "Don't burn the house down while I'm away," he says. "And no alcohol!" He leaves as Rosie and Craig settle on the sofa with a DVD.

In the pub, Shelley is playing Hill St Blues' lieutenant. She warns the staff (Fred, Violet and Bev) that it's going to be a hard night. "I want you to pace yourselves. I don't want to lose anyone along the way," she says. "Get back to your stations, and be careful out there." Cilla is talking to Les, pointing out if Leanne marries Danny, they'll be quids in. Cilla offers to buy Leanne and Danny a drink. And Les invites them round for tea. "Dinner. We call it dinner," Cilla corrects him. They'll get rid of Chesney and the dog for the evening. "You can have wine if you like, not beer," Les promises. Leanne makes an excuse and Les accuses them of not wanting to come. Ken is whining that it's only nine o'clock. Three hours till midnight. He sighs. "Three hours' of fun," Deirdre says, but he doesn't look convinced. Danny tells Leanne they've had a lucky escape, but he's forgotten the first rule of couples -- you can only complain about your own family, not your partner's, so Leanne suddenly wants to go to Les and Cilla's for tea/dinner. Frankie and Jamie com

Craig is on the phone. "Three hours? All we want is two veggie specials and a portion of cole slaw. Yes, I know what day it is." With the pizza three hours away, there's really only one thing they can do to while away the time. So they set to doing it.

Tracy is standing over Amy's cot when Charlie rings, offering a bottle of champagne. He's just outside the door because he didn't want to disturb the extended family he tells her. "It'll be midnight soon. You don't want to miss the party. I don't ask twice." To give her some credit, Tracy does hesitate. Oooh, for maybe five seconds, then she's down those stairs and out the door. She pulls it shut quietly and they head off.

In the pub, Cilla is blaming Les. "If you had a better relationship with your daughter, we'd be at the Baldwins' high table." "What about you and Fizz?" he asks. Cilla says, quite honestly: "You know darn well that if Fizz were seeing someone of wealth and means I'd be sucking up like a North Sea oil rig." Adam is sitting at a table with Mike, but Mike points out he doesn't need looking after. Adam says he can see something is wrong and wants to help. "Look, it's Christmas Eve. Go off an enjoy yourself," Mike says. Adam points out that it's New Year's Eve. Mike laughs. He was just testing, he says. "I'm all right." Adam goes. Danny offers Mike a Scotch. Carol comes over and apologises to Mike for her behaviour at Christmas. She's made a New Year's resolution. She's giving up the booze. "After tonight," she slurs. She asks Jamie for a drink, and as it's her last one, he'd best make it a double.

There are clothes strewn about the living room of Craig's place but no sign of the teens.

In the pub, Mike asks Jamie to make sure he gets home tonight. Jamie looks longingly over at Frankie, chatting away to Nathan. Carol tells him Frankie is a tart. "I know who she really fancies." Danny tells Leanne he's sorry, though he doesn't know what for. "You think my family is common." Leanne asks if it would really be so bad to visit them. Fred tells everyone to shut up for the chimes. As Big Ben rings out, everyone kisses everyone else and sing Auld Lang Syne. Except for a dejected Jamie. He and Danny both watch as Nathan and Frankie kiss each other.

There are fireworks bursting overhead as Charlie and Tracy cuddle. She says she has responsibilities and has to get back. "Amy is in safe hands, as are you," he says. She says he can have the nights of the year, but not this one. "I'm not used to people saying no to me." He asks if she wants him to wake up alone on New Year's Day. She shakes her head. "Stay," he says. They kiss.

In the pub, Jamie has put his phone number into Mike's mobile phone and is showing him how to access it. "Two buttons and you can call me any time." Leanne comes and tells her Dad that Danny's cancelled his work thing and they came come round. Frankie gives Jamie a New Year kiss and Carol points out to Nathan that it's obvious Frankie fancies Jamie. "She's a tart." "And you're a drunk," replies Nathan. Frankie tells Jamie she's had a bit much to drink and she thinks she's been giving Nathan mixed signals. "I'm probably wrong, but I think he fancies me." Danny offers to run Mike home, but Mike's sorted. Carol has a go at Jamie for kissing Frankie. Jamie's disgusted. "Can we go home now?" asks a pathetic Ken. "I want to be with you, not a pub full of people," he tells Deirdre. "Just me, you and a nice warm bed." "I'll get me coat," Deirdre says coyly.

In the street, Kevin is telling Sally he can be the first footer. She says he's not tall enough and can't understand why she laughs when he insists he's average height. She wants a tall dark stranger to bring them good luck. She looks across the road and says she'll go and find a stranger.

Tracy is home and wakes Amy for a cuddle.

Sally knocks on Craig's door. Inside, they assume it's the pizza delivery. Craig heads downstairs with his wallet and doesn't look before opening the door. Sally rushes inside and then notices he's in his dressing gown. "Oh, I'm sorry, has Rosie gone already?" Craig doesn't answer and she demands to know what's going on. "Why aren't you dressed? Where's Keith?" She rushes into the living room, demanding to know where Rosie is and sees the discarded clothing. "You filthy little . . ." She rushes upstairs and finds Rosie in bed. "We've nothing to be ashamed of," Craig says. Sally asks where Keith is and Craig says he's at Audrey's. "Get out," says Sally. Craig points out it's his room. "Are you arguing with me? I find my daughter naked in your bed and you're arguing with me?" Craig goes and Sally tells Rosie to get dressed.

Tracy and Amy are on the sofa in the living room. When she hears the door open, Tracy feigns sleep. Her parents go all gooey over this scene of maternal bliss.

Sally is hustling Rosie out of the house, past the pizza delivery bloke who's demanding money. Back at home, she tells Kevin she found them in bed. "I thought you were clever. I thought you had a head on your shoulders," Kevin says. "We took precautions," Rosie says. "Oh, yeah, like lying to us!" shouts Sally. "Get upstairs. I can't bear to look at you," Kevin says. He wants to go and thump Craig, but Sally holds him back. "It won't change anything." She falls weeping into Kevin's arms.

The End

Margaret Carr

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Updates written by K Richard Whitbread, Martin Rosen, Ann Logan, Peter Webb, Margaret Carr, Mary Earlam, Amanda Souter.

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