The prevailing emotion in this episode seems to be "futility". You may hear that word more than once. It just seems the best fit.

Eileen is comforting Sean who is looking sadly at the photo of him holding Dylan which is on his mobile.

Michelle sees Alex off just as Ryan leaves Liam's. Michelle offers Steve's chauffeur services and Steve himself even says he'll drop Alex off first so he and Ryan can have some catchup time. Ryan isn't interested. As Ryan heads for the bus stop, Steve assures him that Alex is leaving that night. Michelle's phone keeps bleeping and she keeps ignoring the calls though it is apparently Wendy, Alex's mother. Michelle says she'll ring Wendy back later. (as late as she can get away with, I'm guessing.)As Steve drives off, Kelly comes out of the Kabin across the road. Dan passes at that moment and he stops to chat her up for a date. She agrees but only if he's taking her to somewhere really expensive (as if she'd even know what to do with all those forks other than nick them!). He agrees and they set a time to meet in the Rovers first.

Gail is looking for her keys which seems a futile act. David's obsession with checking his phone in case Tina has called seems equally futile. Gail does find her keys but the only word that comes over David's phone is from Darryl. Gail knows he's down but her advice, keep Tina interested by developing interests of your own, falls on stony ground.

Over at Eileen's, Marcus is making tea and trying to help. Everyone (Eileen and Lauren are there too) thinks what Jamie and Violet did was vile. (Maybe I'll call her Violet for the rest of the update. It seems sort of appropriate tonight.) Sean really just wants to find them and wonders if they fled to the Baldwin family seat in Romford (Large suburban town in Essex, just outside of London in case you were wondering). Or, points out Eileen, they could have gone somewhere different for a fresh start. Sean makes noises about hiring a private investigator but what if he found them? Seems he really just expects Jamie and Violet to act like grownups and negotiate an access agreement. We don't really believe they would do that voluntarily at this point, do we?

At Valandro's, Leanne is having to field constant phone calls from Dan who's trying to get hold of Paul. He seems to be calling back as soon as she hangs up the phone (surely that's harassment?) so she ends up snapping at a customer, thinking it's him again.

At the Platts', Tina finally arrives. David springs up, asking if he's in the doghouse and acting just like an eager puppy so that's appropriate, at least. He rabbits on and hits a brick wall when his jealousy filters through, wondering if she told Matt, her ex, what he'd done to immortalize her on his arm but it's ok if she sees Matt, honestly! And at that, Tina spins around and leaves him futilely yapping at her heels. Back to the doghouse, then?

Sean pops out of the bath with an idea, maybe hospital records might give a clue as to where the runaways were headed? It's more than Marcus' job is worth, though. I like Marcus. He's a lovely man and he's like me, a voice of reason. It doesn't matter how desperate Sean is, Eileen points out that Jamie and Violet have made it clear that they don't want to be found and it's all rather...er... futile. Marcus has slipped Sean's mobile into his pocket. Is he trying to cut Sean off from the photo for his own good? We'll find out a bit later.

In the salon, David's moping over a broom. He's not receptive to any sort of attempt at cheering up, not even chocolate. Things must be grim if that doesn't do the trick! Maria suggests he hang out with Ryan but David isn't inclined to give the time of day to a school kid.

Meanwhile, Michelle and Alex are fighting the good cyber-fight (likely with Ryan's game, without permission, and I didn't know Michelle ever bothered with it before. She was always after Ryan to turn it off!) He says that Liz keeps offering to help him pack his bags. (If you're wondering where Liz is in all of this, she who was never short of an opinion on things and never approved much of Michelle to start with, Bev Callard was off sick for awhile. Too bad, I would have enjoyed Liz telling Steve so and making snide comments about always thinking Michelle was bad news. It might have given this storyline a bit more spice!) Anyway. I digress. Alex's passive aggressive pity party is working as intended and Michelle tells him there's no rush. Wendy rings again but Michelle pretends it's a telemarketer and they begin another game.

In the cafe, Ken offers sympathy to Sean who's having a cuppa with Lauren. Sean regrets pushing to have his name on the birth certificate and they might not have scarpered if he had just left it alone and was content to be Uncle Sean. Ken figures it probably wouldn't have made any difference. He recalls that he had taught Violet for five years and he believes her good sense will out in the end. Marcus arrives with a surprise. He'd taken the photo of Sean holding his "bestest boy" off Sean's phone and had it enlarged and framed. The gesture touches both Sean and Lauren (and me, I told you he was a lovely man!) It seems odd that Un-Father of the Year Ken Barlow's words to Sean should make a difference but it seems they have, and Sean seems to have finally faced reality. It's futile to try to find them and he hopes Ken is right about Violet doing the right thing one day.

In the salon, Audrey tries to give David a cuddle and presses on the still tender tattoo. He reveals the branding, expecting her to hate it. She doesn't really care for it but she just seems to shrug and says that Bill is covered with them and he reckons every one tells a story. She hopes David and Tina stay smitten but he's uncommittal.

Lloyd and Steve come out of Jerry's with food orders. Steve mentions that Wendy is supposed to be picking up Alex since his week is up. Lloyd teases Steve for being a pushover (which he is).

In the pub, Kelly teeters in on spiked heels, ready for her date with Dan. If that's her idea of what you wear to an expensive restaurant, she needs to start reading Vogue instead of Tarts' Own. (Leopard print dress with plunging neckline, topped with a canary yellow jacket and huge, ugly, chunky jewelry including hooped earrings as thick as a sausage with the diameter of a bread plate!) Dan's not there yet but Harry is and he offers her a drink while she waits. Over in a booth, Audrey has told Gail about the tat. She's disapproving but doesn't really go off on one like I thought she would. Gail knows David will be devastated if Tina finishes with him and comments that he's far more vulnerable than Nick or Sara. Funny about that, laughs Audrey. (Huh? this is news? Where have these people been the last eight years? After what that child has been through without the counseling he should have had immediately after the divorce to start with and the attempted murder to help him cope, it's no wonder he's vulnerable. Make that teetering on the edge of insanity and I'm guessing that he's going to go over that edge in the end. The character is going to end up written into a corner at this rate). Sorry. I digressed again. Audrey's sympathetic to her grandson, though and delivers a wonderful line "His arm aches, his heart aches. Don't give him earache as well". Gail reckons the fallout will be unbearable if he gets dumped. (More than you realize, luv)

A quiet moment at Valandro's sees Leanne sipping wine. Paul joins her. She's sick and tired of working all the time. She lives in a grotty flat with her mother and when she's not at the restaurant she's thinking about it or recovering from a long day at it. She's working all the time for no real gain. It all seems so futile! Her life is going nowhere. Paul suggests she come home with him but glosses it over when her reaction is just the rolling of her eyes. I don't know, but at 26, she's at least pulled herself out of the escort business and owns and is running a restaurant. It seems like progress to me.

David slopes in the door at home and realizes that Gail knows about the skin art. She inspects it but accepts it. She tries to be helpful but she's coming across too mothery for his liking and he walks out the back door.

In the pub, Steve is wondering if he's taking Alex home or is someone coming to get him. Michelle says it's all up in the air. News to Steve, I think. Kelly's getting impatient waiting for the late Dan Mason while Harry gloats. He's not surprised. She's getting a bit squiffy because he's been buying her doubles. She lets him buy her another drink, giving Dan a little longer to show up. Wendy charges in through the door shouting the odds and demanding her son back. No "please" since Michelle hasn't bothered to take her calls or return them all day. Michelle convinces her to go into the back so they can talk.

David's in the shed telling Darryl that Tina hated the tattoo. He thought women liked a show of commitment. Odious Darryl admits to being flummoxed by the members of the opposite sex. Even though his twin in a bird, he still doesn't understand them. David is expecting to be dumped. Darryl doesn't have a lot of sympathy, figuring he should just find someone else to pull. David moans on and on, boring Darryl with his endless complaints.

But Tina has arrived at the Platts' door! Gail lets her in to wait for David but accuses her of blowing hot and cold, playing games and ego trips with David. Tina is quiet rather than gobby for once. She tells Gail she's out of order and she doesn't understand. Gail continues to lay it out, make it up or tell David straight out that it's over. He can't handle the roller coaster. It's too traumatic. Tina breaks down and wipes away a few tears. She's clearly under stress. She's also pregnant. "How's that for traumatic?" she says quietly.

Uh oh!

Tvor

Dan and Harry step out of Roy's Rolls, talking about Harry's evening with Kelly. Dan then spots Paul come round the corner with Jack and goes over and asks him to spare a minute. Jack goes on to get the breakfast rolls while Paul grudgingly stays behind. Dan then tells him that he's got until Friday to pay what he owes, or he'll collect it from the house. "Not my house, sunshine," says Paul. "Not my problem," replies Dan.

Leanne comes round the corner to spot a builder in hard hat and fluorescent jacket supping on a mug of tea. "Morning!" she yells into his ear. As he jumps in surprise, spilling his tea, she says, "See how you like it!" and stomps off.

Michelle tells Steve that she's going to meet Alex and go with him to his dental appointment. "He's sixteen!" says Steve in disbelief. Michelle tells him she's quite aware of how old he is. "Well, can't he make his own way there? Ryan does," says Steve. "Can't you give the kid a break?" asks Michelle, as she goes out of the door.

Over in the butcher's, trade is slow and Kirk and Ashley are playing a word game.

In the restaurant, Leanne is complaining to Paul about the builders who woke her up at 6 am, he didn't hear a thing. She asks him if he regrets buying into the restaurant. He tells her that he regrets many things, but never that. He thinks they're just going through a rough patch and they'll get over it.

David comes out of the corner shop and is surprised to see Tina standing on his doorstep. He goes over and tells her she can come and sit in the salon until he finishes work, but just then Gail opens the door and invites Tina inside for a cuppa. Tina accepts and goes inside while David, slightly taken aback, goes back to work.

Claire is talking to Ashley in the pub, (who has the children?) and he confesses that because the business isn't doing too well he's going to have to let Kirk go.

Maria is talking to Liam and tells him she didn't envisage the first months of their married life sharing the house with a teenager, who happens to be in the baby's bedroom.

Tina is at Gail's, and tells her that she hasn't told her mother and stepfather about the pregnancy. She asks how long it would take to arrange an abortion and is shocked to hear it could take three or four weeks.

Michelle is out with Alex who's had his dental appointment. She reckons he needs some ice cream and an afternoon at the pictures. "Mother, are you suggesting that I skive?" he asks her. She laughs and asks who could spot them in the dark.

Gail and Tina are still talking. Gail tells her she doesn't know how David would react if he knew about the baby. "What if David decides he wants the baby and you don't?" asks Gail, and says that if she wants a second opinion she wants, she has hers, and Audrey's. Tina is annoyed. "How am I supposed to keep it to myself now?" she asks, "knowing that David's gran knows more about his life than him? How fair is that?" Just then David comes in, and immediately senses an atmosphere. "You could have waited over the road you know," he says to Tina, "we've got better biccies." "I didn't come for the biccies, I came to talk," she says, and takes him out of the house.

They go to the cafe, and David is convinced she's going to dump him, but she assures him she isn't. "It's fine," she says, "it's all fine. Except for one disaster..." Just then Gail comes in. "The Falls gig is sold out," she says as Gail approaches the table. Gail tells David that Audrey is looking for him, he's wanted at the salon. He goes off and Gail sits down with Tina. "I didn't want to undermine David, or compromise you," she says. "But you have," says Tina. Gail tells her that babies should be planned and wanted, and the two of them should have the chance to live like kids before they have one of their own. "What do I tell David for the next four weeks?" Tina asks. Gail tells her that it can be one week if she goes privately, and she'll pay. "This time next week it could all be over."

Michelle and Alex are enjoying their afternoon out. She tells him he can stay as long as he likes, she won't make him go home. "Steve will, Ryan will," he says. "You are my son, and I love you," she says, "that's the bottom line." "Do you mean that?" he asks. "It's the bottom line, kid," she says, putting her arm around his shoulders.

Claire and Ashley are in the butcher's shop, and they tell Kirk that they can't afford to keep him on. "It's last in, first out," explains Ashley, and says that he's sorry.

Darryl has called into the salon to speak to David. Audrey comments to Maria that she hopes people don't think he's a customer. "Look at his hair!" she says. David, meanwhile, is asking Darryl if he can ask a friend of his to get him tickets for The Falls.

Kirk and Ashley have been making Scotch eggs. They take the plateful back to Kirk's house where Kirk breaks the news of his redundancy to Chesney. Meanwhile Ashley goes to put the plate of food in the fridge, only to find it's not working, and the kitchen's a mess. "We only really need it in the summer," says Chesney.

Michelle and Alex arrive back in the Street, and Michelle sends Alex home to the pub while she knocks on Liam's door to see Ryan. There, she explains that Alex is part of their family and can't keep being pushed from pillar to post. "Why can't you get it into your head? He might be your son on paper but he is not my brother and he never will be," says Ryan, who refuses to come home while Alex is still there.

In the pub, Jack notices Dan's threatening behaviour towards Paul and asks him how much he owes. Paul tells him it's nothing he can't handle.

Claire and Ashley are in the pub. (Again? Where are the children?) He tells her how bad the conditions were in Kirk and Chesney's house, grease everywhere, noodles in a pot and no fridge. Claire reckons they should make it a goal to get Kirk his job back.

David goes upstairs to get changed, and Tina tells Gail she'll accept her offer to pay for the operation. Gail tells her she thinks it's the right choice, but it has to be her decision. "It is," says Tina, so Gail says she'll ring the clinic first thing and go with her if she likes. "David need never know a thing," she adds.

Anne Logan

It's Friday night and as we return to the Street, Michelle is serving a bacon butty to Alex, who is sitting on the sofa in the back room with Amy. Steve comes in and snatches up Alex's magazine, upset that he's had it where Amy could see it. The phone goes and Michelle asks Steve to get it. It's Nick. He wants Ryan's phone number at Liam's. Michelle says he can't have it because Ryan doesn't want to know. Steve tells Nick he'll tell Ryan he called. "Why can't he just back off and leave the lad alone?" Michelle asks indignantly. "Michelle, are you for real?" asks Steve. Michelle is puzzled. "A parent wants to get in touch with his child," Steve says. "Is that so much of a crime?"

Liam's busy letting the dog kiss him. Ryan slumps glumly on the sofa. He doesn't want to talk about Alex. He's sick of people talking about it. There's a knock at the door – it's Steve with the message from Nick. Ryan reiterates that he's not interested. Ryan stomps back into the house and Steve tells Liam all he ever wanted was a quiet life – nice wife, decent motor, lie-in on a Sunday . . .

Norris lugs a heavy bag on the paper delivery round. Chesney's not turned up, he tells Ken. Then he moans about it to Claire. Chesney spies on him from upstairs. As Norris sees Kirk arrive home with breakfast, Norris tackles him about it and Kirk admits it was his fault. Chesney's alarm is broken and Kirk forgot to wake him. He offers to get Chesney to finish the paper round. "I'm not even sure he's got a round any more," huffs Norris. Kirk suddenly realises that Chesney is likely to be late for school as well. "You know, I never thought I'd say this," Norris tells Claire, "but I'm beginning to think that even Cilla was better than no mother at all."

It's breakfast at the Duckworths' and Molly takes a phone call that reveals from now on we'll have to call it breakfast at the Compton-Dobbs'. Yes, the solicitor has just told her the sale has gone through and they've got the house. She tells Jack that from now on there will be no wearing of vests at the table, but a shirt and tie will be mandatory! Jack tells Paul the news and that he is now a man of means. Paul seems quite glum. "I'll be out as soon as possible," he says.

Kirk puts the breakfast on the table, telling Ches they were past their sell-by date so Dev let him have them cheap. "Croissants?" says Chesney. "We're dead Continental we are!" Kirk tells him about Norris. Chesney isn't dressed because his school trousers are covered in mud and because the only shirt he could find was too small. It said Size 7 on the label. Kirk thinks that's dangerous. If Chesney did up the top button he'd cut off the blood supply to his head and turn blue. Ches says he's in a bit of trouble and the school has written a letter about him being late most days. "We've got to up our game," comments Kirk. "Nah, we're all right," says the older and wiser Chesney (older and wiser in everything but years, anyway).

Gail's getting ready for work and David's on the phone. He's trying to organise gig tickets to surprise Tina. For The Falls. "Oh, is that one of those Thrash Mental lot?" asks Gail. David thinks she's being deliberately thick. "Thrash metal," he corrects. Gail wonders if it's wise to be organising something for next week, considering they've only just got back together.

Carla's found a supplier who does vintage trim, but Liam doesn't like the idea of old trimmings taken off drawers that someone's grandma used to wear. Maria comes in and tells Liam he'll have to come home because Ryan's off school and won't stop crying.

At the restaurant, Paul wants Leanne to try a new type of olive, but Leanne's had a letter from the accountant about the amount of VAT they owe. Paul's still hopeful, but Leanne isn't so sure there's a future.

Liam confronts Ryan, asking him what's up. Ryan tells him Michelle promised him that nothing would change. Liam says Michelle's doing her best, but Ryan cuts him short. "I've been kicked out of my home. Some other lad is living my life. She chose him instead of me." And he weeps on his uncle's chest.

Tina goes to see Gail and says she's not sure she's doing the right thing. She feels bad for leaving David out of it. "It should be his decision, too."

In the cafe, Gail tells Tina that deep down, David is a very sensitive boy. Tina thinks Gail underestimates David. He's a lot stronger than Gail gives him credit for. And in walks Roy!! Becky is straight over to give him a big hug and a kiss. Roy's carrying a golden giraffe under his arm.

Liam interrupts Steve at solo Jenga in the taxi office. He asks where Michelle is and Steve says she's gone into town to get Alex some football gear of some kind. Ryan points out that Alex has a mum and dad of his own. Steve says he's on Ryan's side but every time he tries to talk to Michelle she won't listen. Liam tells Steve that Ryan is crying his eyes out and he's been treated like second best.

Becky has made Roy a cup of tea, which Roy declares perfect! He's glad to be home. At another table, Gail reminds Tina of what was said in court. David is a deeply damaged boy. Tina won't believe David drove his car into the canal on purpose. David told her it was an accident. "He's a child himself," Gail says, "and a confused one at that. The last thing he needs in his life is a baby." David comes in and Tina says she's got a surprise for him [Gail looks worried] – she's going to buy him lunch.

Michelle's at the taxi office telling Steve about her shopping trip. He tells her about Ryan. "It's not easy for any of us, is it?" Michelle says. "Well, he's the one who's had to move out of his own home," Steve points out. "It's only for a few days," says Michelle. Steve points out that she said that last week and now she's saying Alex can stay on indefinitely. Michelle says she can't just chuck Alex out. "Why not? It isn't as if he's going to be on the streets," Steve points out. He tells Michelle that Ryan was crying. He asks Michelle how she thinks Ryan feels, seeing her and Alex together every day, having a laugh, going out together . . . Michelle wants to know why he's having a go at her. "Because you're not thinking straight," Steve says. "You're not going to like this, but he's gotta go – simple as." Michelle stomps off.

Becky's all ready to move back out and Roy thanks her for holding the fort. She really enjoyed living there, having her own space . . . and now she's going back to the hostel . . . [all together now: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!] Roy doesn't take any hints.

Michelle's making a bed when Steve comes in to apologise. But he's apologising for the way it came out, not for what he said. He wants to know why she keeps running away from it. Michelle says she can't send Alex back because she promised. Steve points out that she also promised Ryan he would come first and now he can't eat, can't sleep, won't go to school . . . "You can't make me choose," she says. Steve asks if she was happy before all this kicked off. Michelle says she was. "I can't just pretend that none of this happened," she says. Steve isn't saying don't see Alex, he's just saying don't have him living here. "Ryan can't take it any more. It's breaking him heart, Michelle." "I better phone Wendy," Michelle says in a small voice.

Dan the Bookie accosts Paul in the street to demand his money. When Paul says he doesn't have it, Dan shoves him inside the bookie's and starts to search him. He gets rid of all the bettors first. Then he makes Paul strip off all his clothes except for him Superman underpants. Paul promises to get the money and Dan chases him out into the street to make his way home in his underpants.

Of course, Molly, Tyrone and Jack are all in the yard when he arrives via the ginnel. They laugh as he runs inside.

Wendy arrives in attack mode. How dare Michelle refuse to take her calls. "Don't you know what you put me through?" Alex arrives, calling Michelle Mum and catches on quickly. "You're not sending me home? You promised!"

More in half an hour.

Margaret Carr

Friday 7 March was my most recent birthday and so at the time this episode aired I sacrificed my celebrations to ensure that I was in front of the screen ready to take notes and ensure that you, my esteemed readers could be brought up to date at the earliest opportunity.

Oh and just to make up - I had spent the two previous nights in a rather nice hotel on Rutland Water and on Sunday we went out with a number of friends for Sunday lunch, so well celebrated and recovery now completed.

Episode written by Jonathan Harvey and directed by Tim O'Mara.

As with all second episodes the title sequence is cut very short - with the intention of maximizing advertising time. So we are in the back room at the Rovers where we see the Alex that Wendy has been warning is the "real thing". He throws a huge strop at Michelle when told he is going home. Steve tries to calm him down. Alex storms out into the back yard where Michelle tells the others to leave him whilst she has a quiet five minutes with him. Alex says to Michelle that she wants him out and he is going. She says this is not true but he wants to know why she said it. He is not taking the news well and reckons that this is just another mistake in a long line of mistakes. Michelle has no answer for his problems.

At the former Battersby-Brown residence, Chesney arrives home early claiming (badly) a flood at school (which is on a hilltop in the middle of a desert) to find another flood from the washing machine which Kirk is unable to fix. Chesney agrees to look at it providing he can set some mousetraps, the house is a complete mess. Kirk asks what he should use to mop up the flood, Chesney looks bemused when he recommends using a mop. Chesney will take the washing to the laundrette to dry it and will get a paper with a jobs section for Kirk. Outside Chesney meets Claire and she offers use of her tumble dryer. She saw him earlier and asks if he has been bunking off school. He denies it saying that there was a fire in the gym block and they had all been sent home, just in case it was terrorists. Oddly Claire accepts the story at face value commenting what a world to live in. Oh all right she said it, she didn't mean it.

Paul re-appears wearing clothes, Molly (who to my eyes appears to have lost weight, I am getting new glasses next Saturday) hardly recognises him with clothes on! Paul claims he has a good body - but Molly seems to doubt that - accusing him of terrible eyesight. She heads off to work. Once she has gone Jack asks Paul if this is anything to do with Dan and Paul nods. Jack takes a wad of notes from his pocket and tells Paul to go and settle the debt. Jack tells him not another word - just fix it.

Moving over to the Rovers a grim faced Gail (if she is not careful her face will set like that) with Audrey, the former relating Tina's earlier near change of mind. The discussion is terminated by Jason looming over them. He is trying to get hold of Sarah and he cannot get through. Gail says she has a new Italian mobile. Why has no-one told him? Gail asks if it had occurred to him that maybe Sarah does not want him to have it. Jason points out they are still married. As he retreats to the bar she shouts at him not to shoot the messenger. Later Gail and Audrey leave the Rovers and Gail wonders if she was a little hard on Jason. Audrey thinks not, but Gail speaks to Jason to offer contacting Sarah and asking if she can give Jason the new number. This cheers Jason slightly.

Paul encounters Dan in the Street and hands over the wad of notes. Dan notes that it feels light but Paul tells him it is all he is getting. Dan extracts the final ounce however by telling Paul that he was coming round to tell him that he was going to write off the rest of the debt. Paul's face is contorted with hatred as Dan holds up the watch and hands it back as he observes that "Time flies when you are having fun!".

Chesney is having to face up to Norris over not turning in for his paper round that morning when he wants to buy a paper. Norris fires him. Claire tries to support Chesney but Doris does not want to know.

At the Rovers Wendy's car is being loaded with Alex (sorry Ryan's) belongings. Michelle is told she is welcome at any time at her house. Michelle asks Alex to talk to her but she makes no progress. Ryan watches from across the Street but does not hear as Michelle tells Alex that she knows he thinks she is doing the wrong thing but in the end he will see it is for the best. Alex does not soften and refuses to talk to her. As he gets in the car Steve tries to tell Alex that Michelle loves him but he also gets no response. Wendy departs and Steve and Michelle see Ryan and call him but he ignores them and heads for Liam's. Michelle is now doubly upset.

Steve follows after Ryan and sitting in Liam's tells him that his least favourite person has now left the house because Michelle has kicked him out. Ryan cannot see what this has to do with him. Steve says that they were rather hoping that he would now return home, is has been a nightmare - so could he just go and see his mother.

Chesney and Kirk are studying the job vacancies. "Trout farm manager - in the Lake District". No Kirk does not want to relocate. "PA to CEO - must have 5 GCSE's, how many do you have?" asks Chesney. Find me something else says Kirk, implying none at all.

At the corner shop Leanne wants to put up an advert for a waitress, but apparently they do not do ads (I always thought that Rita and Doris had the window ads). Dan wanders in and as he always does he starts flirting with Leanne. He reveals that Paul has settled his debt and wants to try the cheesy pizza again, but as Leanne points out it is not as cheesy as his chat up lines. Molly says she is the witty one. Amber (who is also on duty) is musing to herself that the waitress job sounds interesting and she might go for it. Dev (also present - talk about overstaffed) snorts and cannot understand - after all she will one day inherit his entire empire. However Amber likes Italian food and perhaps the uniform is nice. And simply to wind up Dev somewhat she obviously decides to go for an interview.

Steve in particularly good humour enters the back room of the Rovers asking if the incredibly lovely and very sexy Michelle Connor is available - there is a visitor - and he ushers in Ryan before leaving them to talk. Ryan says Steve had said she was feeling rubbish and he came to see for himself. She is feeling much better for seeing him, Ryan asks if Alex has gone and she confirms his departure. Ryan asks if he can come home "mam". She hugs him and it is clear he will be very welcome.

In the bar of the Rovers Carla has been going on and on about work. Maria is obviously bored so Carla downs her drink and departs. Liam cannot understand why Carla is just so work obsessed at present, even he is getting fed up with it. Liam wishes he could forget work in the evenings - but cannot because he owns part of it and he cannot let go. Maria tells him to leave - but as part owner he cannot. Maria tells him to sell his share to Carla or Tony or anyone and leave the problems behind. Life at Underworld is just so boring. Liam observes that she can be very cutting at times - only to be expected she is a hairdresser.

Gail tells Tina that telling David is up to her but if she does then she needs to be prepared for the consequences. Tina sensing that she is being manipulated and she confirms that she has decided she is not going to say anything to David.

Amber arrives at the restaurant and sets about convincing Leanne how good she will be as waitress, especially as she will not be sick with the smell of Parmesan. But what is the uniform like. Leanne obviously likes her attitude and pulls her leg with "Hot Pants and a boob tube". Amber joins in the joke. Dan arrives so Leanne sends Amber to talk to Paul in the kitchen. Dan continues his flirting with Leanne and as she cannot join him for dinner he asks if he will help with a bottle of champagne - and he will pay.

In the kitchen Paul wants to know why Dan is welcome - as Leanne points out he is a paying customer! The two of them snap and to the viewer it is clear that Paul is jealous that his "partner" is playing around. But Paul you are years younger and (to be honest) Dan is the better looker

Does complains about the noise that is coming from the Kirk/Chesney residence. Parent Chesney tells Kirk to turn the noise down and show some consideration for the neighbours. Doris wants to know what Chesney has in his hand - turns out it is a mousetrap. Doris wails all this and a rodent infestation! Chesney thinks on his feet and alleges it is a school project, they need to know about mice. Doris thanks them for turning the noise down and departs, although Chesney looks a little guilty.

At the Rovers Michelle (who would like to have both boys) is unhappy but cheered by the return of Ryan and she suggests they go out and do something as a proper family - get a burger or something - all four of them (including Amy). Steve gets his keys and whilst the last few months will haunt them all for a while yet then perhaps normality is starting to return.

I will be back with an update soon.

K Richard W

Happy little Peacocks come out of their nest. Mama Peahen is going to take some baked goods containing "super foods" (blueberries) over to the stray chick over at No.5 (Chesney) and is concerned that the chick is neglected. Daddy Peacock reckons she's already got her hands full with the ones in her nest now. Off they go to start their day. Round the corner, Bill tells Jason that they may get some work on the new development site. Jason's not terribly interested. He's waiting for Gail so he could get word of Sarah. Bill's not terribly interested. He's chewing on something and then asks "Do I look fat?" Jason glances over his shoulder and says "stocky" in an offhand manner and turns round to stare balefully down the road so as not to miss Gail.

In No.5, Ches and Kirk are racing around the house playing Commando. Mama Peahen comes to the door to bring in the food and is appalled at the tip inside. She's horrified at old pizza boxes and really apoplectic at Chesney's arm sporting a burn from the iron. (What's the big deal? Ches did most of the work when Cilla was around anyway!) Claire castigates Kirk for living in filth and squalor. He needs to take better care of Chesney. Kirk promises to sort it out before Fiz gets back from holiday. Today! Claire insists. (the bigger question is, who's the legal tenant of No.5? Is Kirk technically squatting there?)

Gail approaches Jason and tells him Sarah doesn't want him to have her new mobile number and even she thinks it's a bit unreasonable of her daughter but what can you do? Jason returns to the yard in a mood.

Carla notices a flyer for the new Victoria Court on top of Tony's open briefcase. She slips it back in when he arrives out of the shower and says she wasn't peeking. I think he must have seen her though. The flyer's the size of a record album. (remember those?) He's going to let her in on the big secret and they make a date to meet at lunch at Roy's. She's puzzled.

Claire is mithering about Chesney to Ashley in the butcher's shop. She thinks someone should do something. Ominous words, those. Ashley feels bad for letting Kirk go but figures Claire has probably shamed him into action. Claire's not so sure but over in No.5 they've made a start, filling a couple of bin bags. Kirk insists that Chesney go to school tomorrow and he is going to nip out to get some cleaning supplies and some proper food. First, though, he answers the phone and is delighted to find out he's got a job interview at a kennel. Excellent news, but cleaning will have to wait. (Erm, why can't Chesney at least tidy up some more?)

Michelle is fussing over Ryan who's glad to be back home. He liked being at Liam's but felt a bit in the way. She fusses some more and promises to buy out Fresco's for anything he wants. Can we say "overcompensating"?

Kirk is on his way to the interview and rehearsing his bus routes. On the way to the bus stop, he and Ches kick a football *in the middle of the road* which is an unfortunate choice because it's witnessed by nosy parker, er, Claire. I think Kirk's fate is sealed.

At Gail's, Audrey and Gail are making lunch. Turns out that Bill's remark about his weight was a reaction to some comment Audrey made about his beer belly. The conversation turns to Sarah and how she's getting on (very well and Bethany loves it there) Gail feels bad in a way, encouraging Tina's termination when she was the opposite with Sarah. (Well, she was too far along to have an abortion when she found out about Bethany but Gail did want Sarah to have an abortion when she got pregnant the second time...I looked it up... so I think the writers aren't paying attention.) The subject is quickly changed back to Bill's beer belly when David arrives.

Ryan leaves for school, Steve arrives. Michelle is rather terse, saying she might as well spoil him now she's only got one son to worry about. Steve figures Alex will see her if she calls. The things he said were "heat of the moment" stuff (cold and calculated to press her buttons, if you ask me.)

David is finished his lunch and saunters out though is a bit suspicious because both his mother and Gran have been quite nice to him today. "We love you" chirps Gail. Ah right. He leaves and the conversation is back to Tina. Gail is going to the clinic with her though feels bad for lying. She's doing it for David. Audrey reassures her, she's giving Tina good advice. She doubts David would see it that way and given his reaction when he found out Gail considered having a termination when she was pregnant with him, I'd hazard a guess she probably is vastly underestimating it.

Uh oh. A man gets out of his car and goes to No.5 just as Chesney is putting a tray of oven chips in to cook. It's Social Services!!! A man called Alan Partridge. He asks questions about Chesney's parents and Chesney, who can usually lie like a rug, lets all the cats out of the bag. First he tells Alan that his parents are at work but he doesn't have a phone number for either. He insists he hasn't been left alone, he's got that great huge dog with him and loads of people look out for him.

Outside the caff, Carla and Tony walk toward the construction. She admits to peeking and he admits he left it out for her. He's going to invest in the development. He takes a call from Liam and they walk back towards the factory together. He makes coy remarks about them living the penthouse life and she's rather chuffed. A penthouse is a girl's second best friend, she assures him. He says he's got first refusal on one of the penthouses but no pressure, he assures her. She does seem not unpleased with the idea of living in the sky with Tony Mad-Eye.

In the factory, Tony is inspecting Vikki's work and pronounces it very good. Kelly's, on the other hand, sucks (on purpose?) and he tells her in so many words. She's affronted. He's not even her boss! Liam backs him up but tells Tony off later in the office. His staff, his discipline. Liam is in a mardy mood and Tony picks up on it. In the mood he's in, Liam admits, he does sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be better just to sell out his share. Tony picks up on that too and looks intrigued. Outside, Kelly smirks as she takes the red bra to the reject bin. Later on we see Kelly clearing out as much of the goods in the reject bin as she can fit into her large handbag.

Chesney has finally admitted that his mother and father are out of the country but get home when they can and send money. Alan says Chesney isn't in trouble but seems concerned that even Chesney's sister is away on holiday and he's not even related to Kirk, his apparent prime caregiver. They can't even seem to get hold of Kirk by phone. Alan looks around the house and is distinctly unimpressed by the old crusty pizza.

Michelle has tried to ring Alex but he doesn't want to know. She then gets a cold chill when she sees Ryan looking at baby pictures that Nick gave him, his natural curiosity getting the better of him.

Chesney is digging a hole deeper and Kirk is still out of contact. The last straw is the burned chips in the oven. Alan's going to arrange for somewhere for Ches to stay at least for tonight until something can be sorted out...the house could have burned down around him! (Um, it wouldn't have if the Social hadn't distracted Ches!) Tears run down Chesney's cheek at the thought of being put into care. Kirk, meanwhile, is in fact back, but in the corner shop, getting those cleaning supplies and some food and a top up for his mobile which had run out. He doesn't have enough money but Molly lets him owe it to her. On the way down the street, Tyrone joins him and persuades him to go for a pint.

Chesney is resisting but really doesn't have a choice. The dog will also have to be boarded (Why? it's not as if Kirk couldn't look after him! Oh, I know. It's just to wring as much drama out of this as we can, right?) Chesney is assured that it's only temporary but Chesney's heart is broken.

Tina is at Gail's. She still has doubts and is scared. She needs to talk to someone. Outside, in the back, Darryl has gig tickets for David. Through the window, they see Tina in the kitchen being gently hugged by Gail. David gets closer to the window but he doesn't hear anything.

In the pub, Bill is moaning about being hungry all morning and finally tempted by a pie and chips by dinnertime. Audrey apologizes for her daft joke, she likes him the way he is. His eyes light up and he goes for a proper pint.

Chesney and the dog are loaded into separate vehicles. For a street so full of nosy net-twitchers, not one person seems to notice, and there's a police car as well though Ches is in the social worker's car. Even the dog is whining (for dramatic effect, of course!) In impeccable soap timing, all the vehicles drive off just as Kirk comes out of the pub. He goes inside, finds the note or official letter that was left on the table and runs outside in a panic.

Oh dear.

Tvor

David is having his breakfast, with his MP3 player headphones blasting music into his ears, when Gail comes down. She takes her leave of him, but he doesn't hear her and doesn't look up. As soon as she's gone he picks up his phone and rings Tina, and leaves a message for her.

Ryan is packing his book bag for school. He picks up his phone and looks at it thoughtfully, when Michelle comes in. Hurriedly he puts the phone in his pocket and leaves.

Becky has ruined her fingernails, but has helped Kirk clean up the house. She offers him breakfast on the house but he's feeling miserable about Chesney and can't eat. Roy suggests a visit to Chesney might help and goes off to ring the social worker.

Liam comes into the cafe then, followed closely by Tony who pays Liam's bill for him. They sit down and Tony pushes a piece of paper across the table towards Liam. "That's my opening offer," he says. Liam asks what he's talking about and Tony explains that the other day he got the feeling that Liam wanted out. Liam tells him he got it wrong, so Tony gets up to leave. "What am I meant to do with this?" asks Liam, indicating the cheque. "Bin it, burn it, do what you like with it," says Tony, "but I suggest you read it. I think you'll find that's one hell of an offer!"

Roy gets off the phone from the social worker and tells Becky and Kirk that it'll be ok to visit Chesney tomorrow after 9 am.

David is in the salon fiddling about with his hair. He tells Audrey that he thought he'd ‘go a bit different' tonight. Audrey suggests he speaks to Tina before he changes anything – girls can be funny about things like that. He says he wanted it to be a surprise. Audrey tells him he's perfect as he is, which immediately makes David suspicious. "What's going on?" he asks, "how come you're being so nice to me?" Audrey then gets flustered and waffles about him being her grandson and how it's nice to see him happy.

In the cafe, Jason asks Bill if he's managed to get Sarah's phone number from Audrey, but Bill hasn't. Jason is upset. "You promised!" he says. "I said I'd try," says Bill, and tells him he's got to be patient. Jason says it's doing his head in, after all he is Sarah's husband. Becky is walking past at that moment and overhears. "Oh – you've got your memory back have you?" she says, "well, next time you forget you know where I am – stud!"

A worried looking Tina is waiting outside the clinic when Gail arrives. Gail asks how she's feeling and she says she's spaced out. She wants to go in, but Gail says there's no rush. Tina says she's starving and just wants to get it over with so she can have something to eat. Gail tells her it's all right to be frightened. "Not today it isn't," says Tina.

Kirk has now found his appetite and eaten a breakfast. He tells Becky and Roy he thinks it may have been the school who reported Chesney to Social Services. Roy agrees that may be a possibility, after all they had expressed certain concerns. "It's all my fault," moans Kirk, but Becky tells him not to blame himself. Kirk then tells them about Norris complaining about the loud music the other day, so Becky now thinks Norris was the snitch.

In the Rovers, Michelle tells Liam that she thinks Ryan is hiding something. Liam hints that he had a conversation with Ryan about Nick the other day but won't say any more, and tells her she's got to speak to him about it.

He returns to his table where Maria is reading the offer that Tony made Liam for his share of the factory. "Is he for real?" she asks, and says it's a good offer, and asks if he's seriously thinking about it. He tells her he knows she's not comfortable with him working there, and she says that she knows it's important to him. "Not as important as you," he says. She stares at him for a moment and then asks if he would really sell his share because of the way she feels about Carla. "If it would make you happy," he says. (Ahhh!) "You make me happy, babe," she says to him, leaning in closer. "I want a life with you and that factory is part of it. For better or worse, remember?" and she kisses him.

Norris walks up to the bar and orders a hotpot. Just then Becky bursts in through the doors, closely followed by Kirk, and marches up to him. "I was right all along, it were you!" she cries, pointing a finger in his face. They then start shouting at each other until Claire, who is at a table with Ashley, gets up and comes over. "It wasn't Norris," she cries, getting in between them, "it was me. I contacted Social Services!" She then explains that she just thought they would come round and help Kirk and Chesney. "I'm really sorry," she says. Becky starts to roll up her sleeves and look threatening when Kirk stops her. "Becky, don't," he says, "Chesney's gone because of me, I don't blame you, I'm rubbish, me!" and he leaves. Norris thinks Becky owes him an apology. "Think what you like, you ain't getting one," snaps Becky and turns to Claire, "and I ain't finished with you," she snarls, and follows Kirk out.

At the clinic, Tina tells Gail not to wait, she needs to do this on her own. She says she'll call David and make up something to explain why she won't be going to the concert. Just then a nurse comes and calls her, so Gail hugs her and she goes.

In the factory, Liam shows Carla the bra he got off Lauren In the pub. They recognise it as one of their rejects, which, as they don't sell them, means that it's been stolen. Liam explains to Carla that Lauren wouldn't say who she bought it from. Carla points out that Wiki has been having underwear parties. Liam is sure she's ‘as sound as a pound' but won't let Carla go and have a word with her, saying he'll do it. "I can be tough you know," he says to a disbelieving Carla.

Tina comes out of the clinic looking rather grim-faced. She turns on her phone, sends a text message and then puts it back in her pocket.

In the salon, David receives the message from Tina and is cross that she's ‘blown him out'.

Liam shows all the workers the bra, saying that he knows it was stolen and he wants to know who stole it. "We can do this the hard way or the easy way," he says. Kelly asks what the hard way is. "Me," says Carla, "you've all got till end of play tomorrow and then bad cop takes over," she says.

Across the Street, Maria is wondering why Audrey has given David the afternoon off, it was only a gig he missed after all. Audrey says he was upset, the gig was important to him. Maria asks what's going on, but Audrey tells her to mind her own business.

David is in the kebab shop, telling Darryl that he doesn't think Tina is really ill. "She's going to dump me," says David, and goes on to say that girls are all about control. Darryl says that's a bit of a generalisation, and David points out how Lauren plays mind games with him. Darryl wisely advises him not to throw it all away until he knows the facts.

The factory workers all turn and look at Kelly. "You all think it's me, don't you?" she says to them. "Well, if the bra fits…." Sally says. "Do you believe me?" Kelly asks Janice. "Thousands wouldn't," says Janice. Wiki sits in the corner and stares accusingly at Kelly.

Tony comes in and starts looking at the work that's been done. In the office, Liam comments to Carla that she ought to watch him, and tells her how Tony offered to buy him out. "You what?" she explodes. Just then Tony comes into the office. "It's like somebody died," he remarks. "The day's still young," says Carla. Liam mumbles apologies to Tony and leaves, quickly.

In the Street, Gail is talking to Audrey. She's feeling bad about leaving Tina on her own. In fact, she has to keep telling herself it was for the best. Audrey reminds her it was Tina's decision. "Yes, and I helped her make it," says Gail. Just then Jason comes along past them, and they abruptly stop talking. He stares at them, and then carries on walking.

David comes along then, and Gail says she heard what happened. "How's she feeling?" asks Gail, and he tells her he'll ask Tina that when he sees her. Gail and Audrey don't think that's a good idea, but there's no dissuading him.

In the office at the factory, Carla is fuming over Tony going behind her back to make Liam an offer. Liam tells her to relax, it's not happening. "So that's a no then?" asks Tony. Liam apologies, but says that it is, and decides he ought to leave them to it. Carla then shouts at Tony and demands an apology, but he tells her that business is war and all is fair.

Tina is at home with a bottle of beer when David comes knocking at the door. She's amazed to see him, and he's cross that she doesn't appear ill and is also drinking. She tries to shut the door, but he puts his foot in it. They argue for a while and she tells him to go away. He accuses her of pretending to be ill, convinced she's going to dump him. "You don't understand," she says. He turns and walks down the path. "It's over Tina," he says, turning back to face her, "have a nice life."

Ryan arrives back in the pub after a day at school. They talk about him contacting Nick and she gives him her blessing to see him.

In the cafe, Kirk gets a phone call from Fizz, and turns away to talk to her. Just then Claire comes in, she's come to speak to Kirk. Becky starts to say they don't want traitors in there, but Roy reminds her that he's the owner of the establishment. Becky storms off and Roy tells Claire that he wishes she'd spoken to him first. When Kirk gets off the phone it seems that he hasn't told Fizz about Chesney being taken into care. Roy tells him that his silence will only complicate the matter. "What am I going to do?" wails Kirk. Becky suggests he starts with a new identity.

David storms into the house and opens a can of drink. He tells Gail he broke up with Tina because she lied to him, she wasn't even ill, and he's tired of her attitude. Gail says that Tina loves him. David says that she's just been trying to control him. "I'm sorry," says Gail. "I'm not," says David.

Anne Logan.

Is it Friday again already? Yes, it is. Almost the Ides of March, when, Caesar was warned, he would be in great peril...

Michelle chases after Ryan in the street to give him his packed lunch. They discuss the fact that he's a lot like his Dad – Michelle says it's not surprising because they spent so much time together. Ryan says he's going to ring Nick today. Michelle looks a bit worried.

Gail and Audrey are talking about David, who thinks Tina's been lying to him. Gail says that saying she was ill wasn't a million miles from the truth for Tina. Audrey points out that if Tina was a better liar, Gail would be worried she wasn't right for David. Audrey gets Maria to open up the salon so she can have a chat to Gail.

A rather grumpy Carla is dropped off by Tony. Wiki warns the others. Carla comes in and all she says is: "Stitch! It's what I pay you for!" She grumps away at Liam as well, who says he really doesn't plan to sell his 40 per cent of the business. Not now. Never. And he thinks her mood "is only 40 per cent about me". He says he's going to make her a coffee and when he comes back they've got a thief to talk about, "which, incidentally, is 60 per cent your problem." Carla watches him as far as the door. "I'd like tea!" she says.

In a hedge-lined street, Kirk is at somebody's front door with Schmeichel. "Oh, hello. I'm Chesney's . . . er . . I'm ‘is . . ." The woman at the front door helps out. "Kirk." "Yes, his Kirk," says Kirky gratefully. He introduces the dog. "I've met horses smaller than that," she chuckles, offering to go and open up the gate so they can go through the back. Kirk asks how Chesney is. The women says she hopes Kirk can convince Ches that she doesn't make decisions about him, and stop him trying so hard. Chesney comes to the door, tickled to see Schmeichel. She offers to get them both a drink and Chesney thanks her very graciously and makes sure it's no trouble. Awwwww. He tells Kirk he's OK.

In the cafe, Audrey tells Gail she thinks it's a good idea for her to give Tina a ring. Though she warns it might not be the best time in the world to interfere. But Gail is worried that David is so upset. Becky's clearing stuff off the table and asks quite abruptly if they want anything else. Gail tells her a bit of politeness wouldn't go amiss. "Oooh, you've got to spend more than two pounds twenty for that," Becky points out. Gail suggests that if Tina and David are apart it might give Tina a chance to get her strength back. She tells Audrey she's still quite sure Tina made the right decision, having an abortion. A baby wouldn't be right for her at this time in her life. Neither of them has noticed Becky hovering nearby. She might as well have one of those revolving satellite dishes on her head to make it clear she's eavesdropping.

Chesney and Kirk are in the back yard. Kirk offers to "spring" Chesney. But Chesney's really upset. "We can't go home. Where could we go, eh? Where's left? Uncle Les doesn't care any more." Kirk hugs him as he weeps.

In the salon, Maria's got her hands all shampooey when a mobile phone goes off. Audrey picks it up. It's David's – Tina calling. He rejects the call and Audrey can't understand why. But David can't understand why Audrey and Gail are so bothered about him getting back with Tina. "She doesn't care about me." He tells Audrey she's obsessed.

Jason, wearing a yellow safety helmet, is lugging some bags of stuff in and out of the builder's yard when Becky calls to him from where she's having a cuppa and a smoke outside the cafe. She tells him she didn't think protection was his style and that if Bill wasn't mithering, Jason would forget. He can't understand what she's on about. "Bill's not there giving you advice when you're getting some girl into trouble," Becky points out. "What girl?" asks Jason. "The one you got pregnant," Becky says. Now Jason's really confused. "You?" he asks. But Becky tells him it would take more than a hard hat to save him if he got her up the duff. Jason asks what she's on about and she tells him that Audrey and Gail were discussing someone having an abortion. Jason jumps to the conclusion that they were talking about Sarah and that's what's been going on. He flings his hard hat into the skip and runs off. Becky calls after him: "I'd keep your hard hat on if I were you. That Gail might be only two foot high, but she'd take your kneecaps off with her teeth!"

Jason runs the length of the street to Gail's and bangs on her door. "Why won't you give me Sarah's number?" he demands. He calls Gail a liar as David looks on, and tells Gail he knows the truth.

In the factory office, Liam sends Rosie from the room and tells Carla he has a plan. The prime suspect is Wiki, though Carla points out that Wiki wouldn't steal from them. "I know," Liam says. "We don't reckon she did it. But somebody out there knows who it is – maybe more than one of ‘em." He says they should let it be known that they think it's Wiki, let the gossip build up, make everyone think she's going to get fired, "and then the guilty person will either get grassed up or maybe even turn themselves in." Carla says she has a better idea, but before she can say what it is, Tony arrives with a big bunch of flowers, and they're not for Liam. He asks if Carla can escape for a bit, but she says she can't. She'll call him.

Over at Gail's, inside the house now, she's still refusing to give Jason Sarah's phone number, because Sarah asked her not to. "She's had an abortion, hasn't she?" Gail tries to protest that it isn't true, but Jason is off on a rant about them all clamming up. "Oh, no, don't tell Jason! He's only the father . . ." We see David sneaking in through the back door. "You're like the Weatherfield flaming Mafia, you lot!" Jason shouts. Gail shouts back. "Sarah has not had an abortion!" Jason says Becky heard them talking about an abortion. Gail says Becky's a troublemaker and is probably still angry at Jason for using her. Jason thinks Gail just doesn't want a Grimshaw grandchild. "Get rid, cover it up. Is that what happened to Billy?" he demands. Slap! Gail hits him across the face with her palm. She tells him they were all devastated when Billy died. "When Sarah left me, I lost everything," Jason says, much more quietly. " . . .my marriage, Bethany . . . and now a kid I could have had." Gail looks him in the face and says quietly but firmly: "Jason. You've got this wrong." Jason insists that Becky heard them talking about abortion. Gail admits they might have but said it had nothing to do with Sarah. In the kitchen, David suddenly realises what this means and he backs towards the door. Gail says Jason should tell Becky to get her facts straight. Jason backs away.

David, very upset looking, leans against the house in the back yard.

As Jason storms away up the street, Claire greets him and is then stopped by Kirk. "I hope you're satisfied!" he tells her. She asks how Chesney is. "Gutted," says Kirk. "Lonely, scared, stuck! Why couldn't you give me a chance to make it right? At least he knew where his home was." Claire starts to say something but Kirk keeps going. "Why couldn't you talk to the people who love him first, eh?" He takes the dog and they head home, leaving a stricken-looking Claire.

In the factory, Carla and Liam talk to the staff. They say they've been waiting for the person to come forward who's been stealing the stock. "Stock?" asks Sean. "A few seconds." Carla asks if that's a confession. It isn't. Carla says she won't tolerate thieves in this factory. "Wiki. . ." Wiki looks up. "You're fired." Liam hurriedly adds: "Suspended pending further investigation." "Clear your locker out," says Carla. Sean is gobsmacked. Kelly looks very worried. Janice concentrates on drinking her tea.

Steve and Michelle stick their heads into the bar. "Coast's clear," says Steve. "It flaming well isn't," says Betty, annoyed and very grumpy because she's been left on her own when Michelle was supposed to be working. Steve says Michelle had to go to the dentist, but Betty has spotted the sports-shop carrier bag in Michelle's hand. But she confesses that Michelle's forgiven because it's been dead until the last five minutes. Though she tells Steve that he's not forgiven. "I'll thank you not to lie to me. I'm not your mother, you know!" She points out Nick, who's come in to see Ryan. Michelle asks if he wants to come through to the back. Steve asks if she's all right. "Yeah, If Ryan wants to see him, then that's what has to happen," she says with clenched jaw.

Gail scrubs the top of the cooker and David comes up behind her. "Did you get that cleaning technique off Hillman?" he asks. Gail says there's no need for them to use that name. "Looks like you're covering up a crime scene," he says. Gail asks why he's not at work and he says his Gran offered to let him have some time to go to see Tina. Gail's pleased, but David doesn't plan to go. Tina lied to him. Gail says maybe Tina just didn't want him to see her when she was ill. David asks why Tina was drinking if she was ill. Gail says people might disappoint us, but that doesn't mean giving up on them. "Like I disappoint you?" David asks. Gail says he's never disappointed her. She's worried and asks if he's all right. He asks what Jason wanted. Gail says Jason might have popped round. David points out that she smacked Jason one – Gail must be losing her memory. A puzzled Gail reiterates that there's nothing to tell. Jason was upset about something. "We sorted it." David asks if she's good at sorting out other people's problems. Gail says if he's got something to say, he should just say it. "I think it's you who's got something to say to me, don't you think?" spits David. "What's Tina said?" asks Gail. David tells her that Jason was right. Gail does try to shove people away. He makes it clear he's heard the conversation with Jason. Then he's crying. "Would you let him kids live?" He asks if Tina's had an abortion. "She's aborted my kid and you knew. Admit it, mum. Admit it!" Gail is crying now. "Yes," she says. David backs away and we hear him go upstairs.

In the pub, Kelly asks Wiki why she let them sack her. "Why didn't you tell the truth?" Wiki asks her. Kelly points out that at least Wiki just got suspended. "I could go to prison!" Wiki points out that she can't get another job without a reference. Kelly says everyone takes bits and pieces, cotton and that. But Wiki says she doesn't. "All I did was help you. As a friend. Gave you advice. Showed you how to give the parties." Kelly says that was only in the beginning. "What would you have had without a beginning?" asks Wiki. Janice comes in with the others and tells Kelly to come away. "She's only got herself to blame." Sally says she feels a fool for believing Wiki. Kelly confesses that it was her. "And you just let me stand there, slagging her off?" asks Janice.

David seems to be packing in his room. Gail tells him she's sorry. She was caught in the middle. "How is going behind my back ‘caught in the middle'?" David asks. Gail says she was thinking of him. He asks how killing his kid was helping him. "Sarah can have a child any time she likes – 13 years old – but the spawn of David . . . God forbid!" Gail tells him it was Tina's body and her decision. He demands to know whether Gail held Tina's hand while she killed his baby. He says Tina did a better job aborting her baby than Gail did aborting him. Gail is horrified. She tries to stop him leaving the room. "I did it because I love you!" she screams, pushing him back. "Well I hate you!" he shouts back, shoving her away. Gail tumbles down the stairs. She lies still at the bottom as a horrified David looks on.

The End for now.
More in the second episode.
Margaret Carr.

So there you are, a nice well behaved, butter would not melt in your mouth, angel of a boy, never had a moment's trouble, never caused upset to your mother or any other member of your family (and especially not your ever loving sister or her illegitimate daughter whom you particularly love) and quite by accident you have accidentally, without any malice or ill will, indeed you were indulging in a pleasant conversation at the time with your ever loving mother (you know the one who has stood beside you through all the great times of recent years when the odd practical joke has misfired and led people, just for a second, to think you that you might be the most evil son of bitch in the land (well in this particular Street)) laid a finger on your mother and she has decided to dive down the entire stairs and is now lying unmoving at the bottom of the stairs in the living area and looking decidedly, at the very least unwell and clearly as usual you cannot possibly be to blame, so what do you do? Dial 911 (it is quicker than 999 and it works in the UK now because of all those American films), run to the bottom of the stairs yourself and check for a pulse, signs of breathing, yell for help?

This episode was written by Jayne Hollinson and directed by Kay Patrick.

Not if you are David Platt you don't; you stare open mouthed and say "Mam" twice as you come down the stairs and then think about the phone, scratch your head, put the phone down and leg it out of the back door because you are such a nice good well meaning gentleman.

So across at the Rovers in the back room Steve with Michelle and Nick as they wait for the arrival of Ryan (who really should be called Alex). They do not know where he is - but when he arrives he apologises for training run late - football asks Nick - but it is athletics. Nick has decided they will be going out for a meal.

At the Salon R'Audrey is bemoaning David disappearing for his dinner and not coming back, she knows he is upset about Tina - but he still cannot go swanning off when he feels like it without a by your leave. She asks Maria to lock up as she wants a word with Gail.

David is running, running for his life down back alleys, running into people.

Audrey cannot get an answer at Gail's and peering through the front window she can see Gail lying on the floor. She shouts over the garage to Kevin and with no key (of course Audrey has a front door key) they go round the back and find the door unlocked. Kevin finds that she is alive and uses the phone to summon an ambulance. Tyrone is sent to get Bill from the yard where he leaves Jason in charge. An ambulance arrives almost immediately.

David is still running across the road, where he almost gets run over.

Audrey worries about how long Gail has been lying there and about telling David - before joining Gail in the ambulance and heading to the hospital.

Jason tells Becky off for causing trouble and asks that she stops doing it.

David bangs on a front door and once Tina opens it he collapses on the sofa. He almost tells her about Gail, thinks better of it and then says he has heard about the abortion. Tina and David are shouting at each other. She was not ready for a baby - and did David want to keep it. David complains about the way Gail always rules his life. Tina reminds him they are not going out any more - but they hug (now if they had only gone out and not stayed in then none of this would have happened) to console each other.

In the Rovers Kevin is passing on the story of Gail's accident. Kelly 'fesses up to the Connors for her misdeeds and they make life difficult for her when she apologises and offers to repay all she has stolen. Carla sacks her.

At the bar in the Rovers Maria departs leaving Carla and Liam to discuss the Crabtree problem. Anyway the mad Pole pleads her case and a compromise is proposed. Three months probation, a cut in wages and not a toenail out of line. Once she is out of earshot Carla explains to Liam - unlimited free overtime for their best machinist - pure profit. He reckons she is unbelievable.

David and Tina are obviously back together (not even a cigarette paper would get between them). David decides. Let's get out of here. Go away. A holiday asks Tina - no forever decides David, pack and we are gone. Tina who obviously has something between her ears asks after money jobs and family but David says they can be sorted later. Tina reckons they can be happy where they are but David knows that is not possible. Tina says that Gail is not as bad as he makes out (but we do not know how bad she is of course) when his mobile goes. He almost refuses to answer it but not knowing the number does. R'Audrey is desperate for him to join her at the hospital - apparently Gail has fallen downstairs and no-one knows how it happened. David asks if his mam is dead (David wake up and smell the napalm if Gail was dead Audrey would not be at the hospital). Tina hearing one side of the conversation realises that it is serious and comes down from cloud nine. David tells Audrey he will be there soon. Tina tells him that she is going with him.

At the restaurant (which has been busy going nowhere for months - come on team Street Leanne can do almost anything and you have given her nothing of note for months on end) Leanne is telling Paul that she has invited a local restaurant owner to come and look round and give her a valuation - she does not want to sell - but you never know. Paul is distinctly less than amused - he reckons she is giving in.

At the Carla Connor residence she arrives to find Tony has cooked dinner. It is apparently National Groveling Day [good grief has anyone told David Platt - in his case a year of groveling is not going to help very much]. Tony wonders why she was not home earlier and she explains she went for a drink with Liam.

Ryan arrives home and Michelle wants to know everything that has happened. Not surprisingly Ryan (Alex) considers it none of her business and starts to resemble a clam. Steve tries to call the bitch off (sorry Michelle) before Ryan drops the bombshell - there will be a next time and they will go to see a film (and will Kevin and his near invisible daughter be there as well - obvious that in the Street the bonding happens at the cinema - pity that Tina and David did not try that as a method of birth control). Michelle is unamused.

Back at Carla towers Tony wants an honest relationship with Carla, with no skeletons in the cupboard (or down in the dungeon). He asks her if there has ever been anything between her and Liam. She wants to know why and he reckons it is to do with the way they are around each other. She ducks the issue and claims it is because she often wants to kill him and they could do with another bottle of wine.

David and Tina arrive at the hospital and Audrey, bright as a button, notices they are back together. She has not see Gail because she is being given (wait for it and then just laugh out loud) a brain scan! Will they find anything to scan you wonder. David tells Audrey that she will be alright (she would have been better if the ambulance had been called some hours earlier). Audrey says that you are never prepared for the unexpected like this (well of course not - we would all be nervous wrecks). I mean just a silly slip on the stairs. David is clearly under some strain and offers to go and get some drinks (makes a difference from last week's inevitable cup of tea).

Tony does not know when to let a bad idea go and keeps pressing Carla about Liam and their relationship. So Carla comes about as clean as she ever manages and tells him about the kiss, they both realised it was a mistake and they immediately backed off completely. Tony observes that the two of them work together, that she is absolutely gorgeous and who could resist her? She purrs in response and offers to take the wine to the bedroom. She saunters off - but he fills his glass and takes a deep draught before throwing it into the sink in a clear demonstration of being a total fruit loop with no self control and likely to be a nasty threatening abusive controlling man. And he has a mad look in his eyes as well.

Hearing the noise Carla (by now no doubt naked waiting for her man) asks what the noise was and he responds that he dropped his glass. Anger contorting a fairly ugly mug he responds that he will be there in a minute.

Gail is back with us - well her body is. Usual breathing tube to prove that she is not well and the results will follow once they know what they are. Gail lies very still. David realises that he has done something rather serious this time around.

And I will be back this time next week. For Monday we have a guest updater - but I will say no more - although I can tell you that this will not be his first update ...

K Richard W

Tinky's Review of Coronation Street, episode aired Monday 17th March 2008 at 19:30 hours

"The episode commences with Mike and Lama (which is how my mistyped attempt at Alma came out) - Lama is saying that Mike's idea was "crazy" - you will recall that Mike had a sudden rush of blood to the head in the previous episode and lined Deirdre up with Lama's passport, an airflight and promise of safe harbour in places Espagnol and actually suggested that this was her only alternative to incarceration at HM Pleasure."

Ooops, a slight time-warp problem there... Well, actually, that's how I commenced my first ever Corrie update, way back on Monday 16th March 1998, a whole ten years ago. Ten years! Where HAS the time gone? My own life has certainly changed out of all recognition. Then I was called Tinky on the net (don't ask, just Google!), now, well, whatever you want?;-) Then, I was married, living on the edge of the Peak District, on the outskirts of Manchester - now I'm not (married, that is) and back living in Manchester itself. Then, I was running my own business in Financial Services, now I'm working for a Local authority (Salford) organising and running computer training for the citizens of Salford (well, one third of the city, the area on its boundary with Manchester), a job I've been doing for over five and a half years now. Then, my son was 17 and in college, now he's 27, working as a teaching assistant and with a steady girl-friend. Then, my wife, Trude, was a schoolteacher, now she's my ex and retired. Then, my mother was a widow living alone, now, following a bad fall four years ago, she has lost her independence and lives in a Polish Care Home in Manchester. Then, I had a good, long-standing pal in my best friend Peter, whom I'd known for over 40 years, since we started at Grammar School at the age of eleven - now, he's gone, having lost his battle to cancer seven years ago.

In the past ten years, my life has been an incredible rollercoaster ride, a series of horrendous downs and some amazing highs. Following illness and marriage breakdown, I've rebuilt my life and now have a great circle of friends who share my passion for soul/R&B music. Through the Northern Soul scene, I've met artists whom I idolised 40 years ago - I never dreamt of seeing them perform live let alone find myself talking to them and swapping e-mails with them. I've been able to find friends worldwide who share my interest in the European offshore radio scene of the 60s and early to mid 70s and met a number of my radio heroes.

I've suffered recurring problems with depression, something that can be a real struggle at times, and have had a bad time this past year and a half with Repetitive Strain Injury to my right hand following many years of excessive computer use. Over the last 8 or 9 months, I've watched Trude face breast cancer initially with a mastectomy, followed by chemo and radiotherapy.

So the past ten years hasn't exactly been a barrel of laughs - but hey! I'm here, doing what I do best, surviving - alive to tell the tale. And that's what life's like - full of ups and downs. I suppose my own life events have been just as bizarre as the stories played out in the soaps, in some cases even more so.

In the early 70s, I was lucky enough to work for two truly inspirational managers, one of whom was really into Eastern philosophies at the time and who introduced me to the Chinese philosophy of "I Ching" - now I'm not sure that I fully take on board that throwing sticks can give you a look into your future, but I did accept one of its tenets, that life is a series of constant changes, moving you from one phase to another. The veracity of that piece of wisdom has never been in doubt and I've eagerly embraced change through most of my life and, in most cases, managed to keep on top of it. It's probably the main reason I've survived.

That's also been the story of Corrie, too. I started watching the programme when I got married in April 1977, so it's been a thirty-odd year love affair. In that time, the programme too has changed out of all recognition, originally being aired just a couple of times a week, now it's expanded to five episodes every week. In those days in the late 70s, when there were only 3 TV channels in the UK, Corrie had some great viewing figures, but these have shrunk as increased competition from Satellite, cable and digital stations and the consequential fragmentation of the TV market has introduced other rivals, all vying for the viewers' attention - not to mention, other alternative leisure pursuits, such as surfing the net! In a lot of ways, those were halcyon days, as Corrie was character driven rather than plot driven, as it is these days - it replicated the inconsequential day-to-day chatter that is a basic function of everyday life and it did it so well. Now, soaps have to jostle for attention with more and more ridiculous and extreme storylines - how many of us can really relate to some of the situations we see portrayed on the small screen? But what do I know? I'm only a viewer. Thankfully, Corrie has retained some of its humour that has marked it out from the opposition, though not as much as I'd really have liked. Ironically, Emmerdale, a programme I used to consider very dull, years back, is closest to the Corrie of 30 years ago with some strong characters and a healthy dose of comedy content.

That first review episode of mine had Alma and Mike Baldwin in the opening scene - both characters now long departed. Even in the last ten years, there have been many other comings and goings in that time, too numerous to mention here. And that is sure to continue.

After initially being Mr Monday (writing up the Monday episodes), I soon switched to being Man Friday, staying in that role for about 18 months and during that time, made a lot of friendships with folks from all over the world - some of those friendships have stood the test of time, others didn't last the course for no other reason that nothing stays the same forever, quite simply, we've all moved on. But I just couldn't let the 10th update anniversary go past without some sort of celebration - so here's to all who shared the journey or part of it with me. I don't know how many of us will still be around in ten years' time, but let's celebrate what we have now and our memories of times gone by. I will hit my 60th birthday in August 2009 - I'm already planning a big party that I hope to have at that time. At times, I think it's a bloomin' miracle I'm still around, but it sure beats the alternative!

I mentioned Northern Soul earlier. For me, the discovery of this (rare soul) scene nearly five years ago, has been a truly life-changing affair. I never did the clubs as a kid in the 60s (as I was too young and had a very strict father who simply didn't allow it) but I loved the music of the time. In those days it was just known as R&B or soul, sometimes Club soul. The music that I especially loved, usually charted in the lower reaches of the US Billboard Hot 100 and it always stood out as something rather special - it was the music of Motown, Stax, Atlantic and Chess Records and of countless small independent labels that were around in the States at the time. It usually had an up-tempo beat and was very danceable, not that I danced in those days. So I've loved Northern Soul, even before it had that label (which, incidentally, was given to it by a London record dealer who noticed that the youngsters coming to his shop, while down south supporting their favourite Northern football team, were asking for rather different records than his local clientele - it was the soul music favoured by those Northern people - hence the epithet, Northern Soul). I find it amusing and amazing that I've reconnected with the music of my youth some 40 years down the line - that it's a very vibrant, albeit still underground, scene - and even more amusing and amazing that Corrie has embraced this sub-culture too, in the form of on-screen fans, such as Liz's husband Vernon and Streetcar's co-owner, Lloyd. For those who are interested I have a website largely devoted to the local Northern soul scene (www.soulman1949.com) - it's been neglected of late due to my RSI problems, but I hope to resurrect it as an active site soon, now that I have voice-recognition software on my PCs at work and at home. Drop in, if you're around - I'd also welcome contact with any of the "old gang" who corresponded regularly with me, especially during my tenure as an Updater 1998-99. E-mail me at alan@soulman1949.com.

As for these updates, what of the future? Well, I quit updating after 18 months or so, as I had got stale and struggled with the constant repetitive pressure of doing yet another update on time. I don't see me doing this on a regular basis as I have too many other commitments but I may lift my head above the parapet every now and then to provide holiday cover. In the meantime, I have two anniversary updates to forward to you, so let's go on with the show.!

Coronation Street sponsored by Harveys Furniture, complete with an Easter egg man, with dickie-bow tie, who flies through the air and lands in a bowl of fruit. Yep, you've guessed it, another adman on an acid trip! And I thought that was just a 60s thing!

Episode written by Martin Allen and directed by Stuart Davids.

The episode commences at Weatherfield General, where R'Audreh, Bill and David are gathered around Gail's bed. Audreh is regretting not staying with Gail overnight, but Bill points out she couldn't have done anything anyway. A doctor enters the room, prompting Audrey to ask how Gail is. "Well she's been very unlucky, but she'll live" is the reply. "So what's wrong with her?" is Bill's question. The medic lists the damage "Severe concussion, there's a fracture to her wrist and ankle, and a possible tear to her achilles tendon", adding that they will know more once they have given her a scan. Audrey looks for reassurance that Gail is going to get over the problem, wondering whether she will need a wheelchair for the rest of her life. The doctor says this is unlikely, quoting three to four weeks, but she will need physiotherapy, however she should be fine and there are unlikely to be any complications. All the time David is looking around anxiously, "she's not going to be brain damaged or anything is she?" The doctor replies cautiously that they won't know any more until she wakes up. Twenty questions continues with Bill asking "when will that be?" You start to feel for the doctor and want him to reply " and while you're at it, why don't you ask me for the winning numbers for Saturday's lottery?" but he politely replies that could be today, tomorrow., adding that they are fairly confident she will come round and at that stage they will be able to speak to her. Bill grins, Audrey smiles, while David will looks blankly into thin air. Hear no evil, see no evil, so no.. no, that's wrong!

We are at Cruella deVille's flat and Slimeball (Tony) is picking up pieces of broken glass wrapping them in newspaper. They are the remnants of a wine glass which he is smashed into the sink the previous night. "Mind your fingers" snaps Cruella sarcastically, "well it gets everywhere, does broken glass". Tony thinks he is off the hook, but Carla tells him that she isn't going to let the matter drop so easily, saying that "weeks later you find a little splinter and . ouch!" By now the slithery couple are grappling each other and exchanging bodily fluids. Yuck. Those two are so slimy, they deserve each other. Her mobile rings she answers it, ignoring his request to leave it. It's Liam asking about the whereabouts of a company file. Checking her bag, she finds that she does indeed have the file in question. She engages in a bit of banter swapping - Tony is listening to her end of the conversation, obviously getting more jealous by the minute. As she finishes her call, Tony makes to leave, brusquely telling her he isn't hungry for breakfast and that he will pick up a sandwich on the way in. "Is there something wrong?" asks Carla, only to receive the reply, "no, everything is fine, I'll see you later". But we know it's what's not said that sometimes carries more weight than what is actually spoken. She moves forward to kiss him goodbye but he ignores the gesture and departs, leaving her with a puzzled look on her face.

The action switches to the Rovers, where Michelle is unsuccessfully trying to contact Alex on the mobile. "He's still not answering" she tells Steve, as Ryan comes into the room for his breakfast. Quick change of topic as she asks "All ready for a brand new week?" to which he replies "All ready for the Easter holidays"! He casually tells her that he is seeing Nick at lunchtime. She tries to play it cool, but she is clearly bothered by this development. "Well at least he told you" says Steve reassuringly, but by the look on her face it's clearly not had the desired effect.

Jason is on the mobile to Bill and as he finishes his call, he bumps into his mum, then Jerry, walking down the street. Jason brings them up to speed on the latest developments with Gail. They are shocked to hear that Gail is still unconscious and if she does wake up that there is some doubt as to whether she will be okay - and all from just falling down the stairs. "There is a lot to be said for that retirement bungalow" quips Jerry as he leaves Eileen and Jason to finish their conversation. Jason looks worried, but when Eileen challenges him on this subject, he insists he is fine. Not that Eileen buys that reply.

We are at the restaurant where Leanne is going through the books prior to a meeting with a prospective purchaser. Paul is irritated that she isn't helping him to get the restaurant ready for opening time. She tells him she's working out what they are worth but he gets even more angry with her, saying that *he* isn't selling. She explains that she is just testing the water. She reckons that the place is worth about £70,000, explaining that she paid £43,000 a year ago, spent money on it since, built it up, so she reckons if she asks for £80,000.. Paul interrupts her dreams, saying no one will want to buy the place at that price - while he storms off in a huff, she looks around her empire with pride.

Michelle bumps into Carla in the street, wishing her "Happy St Patrick's Day". "How's Tony?" she asks. "A bit grumpy this morning" replies a puzzled Carla. Michelle asks "have you been upsetting him". Carla replies "I do hope so, you know I give as good as I get when he is tricky", explaining that they are never going to die of boredom. They tentatively arrange getting for a "St Patrick's snifter" although Cruella says she'll have to check what Tony has planned.

Meanwhile, back at the Rovers, Vernon is perched comfortably on a stool behind the bar. Betty is teasing him asking whether he would like a cushion to lean against, but he seems oblivious. Betty is clearly irritated and tells him to get out of her way "you useless lump". Vernon is in a world of his own, marvelling to Sean about the wonders of the drinks optic, "simple to operate, measures perfectly, barely spills a drop. now what genius dreamt that up?" Betty flippantly replies that she can think of an invention for him, "the stocks", that way at least they would have some entertainment while he does nothing all day. Vernon tries to defend himself by blaming the modern world - "unless you're running around, people think you're idle", citing Isaac Newton as an example, who was asleep under a tree when he discovered gravity. Betty has had enough and sarcastically wonders it's a miracle why he hasn't discovered a cure for cancer "with all this time you have sat snoozing on the job!" "I give up" is Vernon's frustrated response, but Sean tells him "no, you have to start something in order to do that".

At Underworld, Liam is getting all philosophical about the contribution of the "Rag trade" to the economy of the Middle Ages, but Carla is clearly on a short fuse accusing him of being boring and droning on. But the fact that something has rattled Carla's cage hasn't gone un-noticed.

Back at Velandros, Leanne is showing round her prospective purchaser, Peter Garrard. Seating him at a table, she invites him to order a meal from the menu, "on the house, of course". She's nervous and clearly eager to impress.

At Manchester Royal Infirmary, oops, sorry, Weatherfield General, Ar'Audreh is anxiously awaiting developments. She wonders aloud whether to let Sarah know, but David tries to put her off explaining that you're not allowed to use mobiles in a hospital. She tells him she will use a payphone but as she gets up to phone, the doctor comes along, introducing DC Weller from Weatherfield CID. The detective explains that they are concerned about some bruising on Gail's arm that suggests Gail's fall wasn't an accident. The doctor clarifies that the bruising suggests a struggle rather than just a fall. "It's possible she was pushed" adds the detective, "an intruder, maybe, so we may have a criminal investigation on our hands." While this is going on, David is twitching nervously in the background. Gulp!

End of part one while we have a shot of the main entrance to MRI (Manchester Royal Infirmary), I mean, Weatherfield General. Sorry, about this, it's just that as a Mancunian, part of the game is identifying the location of outside shoots. My dad worked at MRI for over 20 years and I had 3 spells working there while I was a student - although the place has changed a lot over the years, I do know it well.

Anyway, after choc ices and candy floss, the intermission ends and we go back to the Street where we see door-to-door investigations into the "Accident" being carried out by the local dumb plods. One is rings Jerry's front doorbell - as he opens the door and sees the Police outside, Jerry thinks it's one of his kids who is in trouble. "What's she done now?" is his question but the bobby tells him it's about Gail and wonders whether he noticed anything unusual yesterday afternoon, explaining that there might have been a break-in. Jerry's memory is jogged, "come to think of it, I did hear something through the wall", "it was muffled shouting through the wall", "about 3 o'clock". While he is recollecting his thoughts, Claire Peacock joins in the discussion, volunteering that she saw Jason going in Gail's about 3ish, that he was all agitated and when he came out about 10 minutes later "he had a mark across his face like he'd been slapped or something". Ooops! The penny then drops as she realises what she has said and she tries to cover her tracks by saying she hopes they don't think Jason was responsible, "he wouldn't hurt a fly". But it's t-t-t-t-t-too late!

At the restaurant, Leanne is plying Peter with drinks. Asking him what he thinks, he replies "nice food, turnover's not quite what it could be, but there's scope for improvement". Leanne tries to bolster her case and tells him the place is for sale for £80,000 - his opening gambit is mid-50s and after some swift haggling and posturing "I'll give you £65,000 - take it or leave it" is the final offer.

Back at the Rovers, Betty, Jerry and Claire are debating the events at Gail's. "It sounds like a burglary to me", offers Betty. But they are puzzled at Jason's potential involvement. "There's no way it could have been Jason" says Claire, just as Eileen enters the pub. She hears the comment, much to their embarrassment. Meanwhile Slimeball Tony comes into the pub - noticing Liam and Michelle at the bar he comes over to them, offering "good food, good wine round at our place. Partners invited, needless to say". Liam suspiciously asks what is the reason for this soiree, and, rather less than enthusiastically, accepts the invite - Michelle does too, subject to finding a babysitter. Tony's parting shot is "not a word to Carla, a bit of a surprise". Uh-oh. After Tony has gone, Liam asks Michelle what that was all about - Michelle replies that Carla had told her that morning how they liked to keep each other on their toes. "So why drag us into it?" is Liam's question. Why, indeed?

Meanwhile, Claire is still digging a pit for herself, protesting to Eileen how she didn't think Jason was involved while admitting she had volunteered certain details to the Police. When challenged by Eileen why she had said anything at all, she nobly informs her "it's the Police, you have to co-operate with the Police, it's your civil duty." Eileen nods and replies "Hmm, the Police. as in them who thought you'd killed Freddie and set fire to your own house, the ones who said they didn't believe you when you said you knew who'd done it? Well, don't worry Claire, as long as you did your duty, that's all that matters"! And with that she leaves the pub leaving behind an embarrassed Claire! Touche!

At the restaurant, Leanne has broken to the news of the sale of the restaurant to an incredulous and angry, Paul. He refuses to accept Leanne's decision, which she defends by saying that Peter had made her an offer she couldn't refuse. She spells out the facts to him, how she had got an offer of £65,000 and how they would both be able to clear their debts and start again. Paul, however, resents the fact that they have put so much into the business only to have to let it go.

Meanwhile, back at the Rovers, Vernon is bending Harry's ear about the state of business, whether some times of the year are better than others. "Well, the warm weather's good" offers Harry, "cos it gets the punters out of the house. but then the bad weather's good as well, cos they come in to get out of it!". "So, win-win" replies Vernon. "Well, the perfect world is lose-lose, for them anyway" is Harry's winning line! When Vernon accuses him of being a cynic, Harry confides that "you have to let the punters win every now and then otherwise they get discouraged - then they stop spending!" Meanwhile Sean has been getting more and more exasperated at Vernon's skiving. "Hard at it, are you Vernon?" he asks sarcastically and when asked "what seems to be the problem", he explodes "now who's been stood there doing nowt while me and Betty have been doing all the hard work, eh? Now let me think. someone beginning with V". Vernon goes back on the attack saying "now, you're not talking to one of the skivvies" but this is an ill-judged comment as Sean is quick to reply "Well, I'll grant you that. Skivvies have been known to work." Woops! The argument continues as Vernon tries to make out that his role isn't to run around, it's more a case of taking a strategic view, explaining how he was the brains behind the recent pub refurbishment! Sean's furious parting shot is that Alan Sugar will have to watch his back then. (For non-UK viewers, Alan Sugar is a highly successful businessman who made his fortune in the consumer electronics and computer fields, heading his company Amstrad, and who now chairs the UK version of the TV series "The Apprentice".) Harry has been listening to the exchange and drolly teases Vernon "so what further projects have you got lined up then?"

Eileen trudges up the stairs of the builder's yard to have a word with her son. She wants reassurance that Jason wasn't involved in Gail's accident. "The police are saying that somebody pushed Gail down the stairs" she advises him. He tells her that he had gone round to Gail's after Becky had overheard Gail and Audrey talking about an abortion - he had assumed they had meant Sarah, as she wouldn't take his calls. So he had gone round to have it out with Gail, who had told him it was nothing to do with Sarah. Eileen starts to probe Jason about the mark on his face and he admits that Gail had slapped him after he had refused to let the matter rest, but he denies slapping her back. "Mam, I never laid a finger on her, I swear." Eileen informs Jason of the trouble he is in, after the comments made to the Police by Claire, how Jerry had heard arguing through the wall and how the Police were at the hospital waiting for Gail to come round. Jason admits it was him arguing with Gail, but seems unperturbed as "Gail can tell them what happened as it had nowt to do with me." Well, Jason, me old china, you'd better pray that Gail comes round, matey - corpses don't talk.

DC Weller is getting herself a drink from the vending machine in the hospital. David has been looking on and nervously asks her what she thinks happened. She replies they're keeping an open mind at the moment. He tries to press her whether the Police think it was an accident but she is non-committal. "It's hard to say, she could have disturbed an intruder, but on the other hand. your grandmother said she found the back door open. There was no sign of a break-in, no damage nor any sign of anything being stolen, so if she was pushed it could have been someone she knew." She sees David deep in thought and assures him not to be so worried, all will be revealed when she comes round. She pats him on the shoulder, but David is understandably worried.

At the Rovers, Vernon is deep in planning mode. You can almost hear the brain cogs grinding away. Harry's teasing him as to whether he's got any ideas, Vernon's reply is that it's only a matter of time and how this is just what he's needed, a new project. What a pillock! Betty and Sean look on in frustration. "Now what's he doing?" asks Betty. Harry explains mockingly "I think they call it research and development". "I know what I'd call it", replies Betty, "which of his two gears is he working in, slow or reverse?" Sean offers some words of comfort, "be grateful for small mercies, as long as he's occupied he's not under our feet".

Michelle is telling Steve about their dinner invitation and how she has accepted on his behalf - babysitting is sorted using Ken and Deirdre. Ryan drops in to tell them that Nick is off to Cornwall at Easter and that he has invited him to go with them. Michelle's not best pleased. "Has he now?" she replies. Ryan senses she isn't happy and seeks reassurance that it won't be a problem. Michelle is concerned that everything is moving a bit fast, "considering you didn't even know he existed a couple of months ago." She is put out that she hasn't been consulted and points out that Ryan hardly knows him, to which the obvious reply comes back - that it's a good opportunity to get to know him. She reluctantly caves in with the caveat that she needs to know more about the trip. Ryan leaves to go back to school. Meanwhile, Steve who has been sitting there without saying a word, says that he thought she was going to say "no" but she admits she didn't get a chance.

At Underworld, Carla is nibbling on a hot-cross bun when Sleazeball Tony makes an appearance. When he asks what she's eating she tells him it's none of his business. They get into a conversation scoring petty points off each other. When he tries to take a piece of bun she slaps his wrist saying he should buy his own, especially as he won't eat breakfast with her. "So *that's* what it's all about" he exclaims and proceeds to tell her that he left early because he had a lot of things to do before tonight. When she asks what's happening tonight, he says he's cooking her dinner. "Oh really?" is her reply, "what if I fancy going out?" They slip into more tit-for-tat chat but his parting shot is "back by half seven, or else." After he leaves, we see just a glimmer of a smile on the ice-maiden's face. Bloomin' 'eck, I thought those muscles had been removed at birth!;-)

We're at the hospital again. DC Weller is quizzing Audrey whether Gail has any enemies, while David is trying to make out he isn't listening. "No, not especially, what would you say, David?" replies Audrey. David adds that his mother gets on with most people. Audrey elaborates that Gail had a falling out with Eileen "but that was the usual wrangling between in-laws". Just then the medic comes up with some good news. "She's come round!" As Audrey goes off to see her daughter, DC Weller tells David "now she can tell us what really happened." The scene closes with a very worried David getting up to follow his grandmother in and to see his mum.

The episode closes, predictably, with an outside shot of Weatherfield General.

Soooo, how was it for me? I don't know about you, folks, but I wonder, where will it all end for David? He really has to be the spawn of the devil - there can't be that many kids who just lurch from one crisis to another with such a pronounced "the world is against me" attitude. Just when I think he's about to turn the corner, bang! He reverts back to type. Maybe he KNOWS Gail should have aborted him before birth. But you can bet your little socks that when Gail does remember what happened to her, she will make excuses galore to shield him from the consequences. Gail, wake up and smell the coffee - it ain't gonna end here, he's set to self destruct, taking with him anyone in his wake. Cut your losses. Organise a hit-man, whatever, but at least get him locked up purleeeeeeeeeeeese!

As for poor Claire, well, she really is a walking disaster. I mean, she makes "foot in mouth" look like an art form. You know, I can almost see it now, World War 3 has just started because of some ill-advised comment she's made - you can just hear her saying "oops, was it something I said?" as Armageddon arrives.

As far as tedious storylines go, the Carla/Tony/Liam triangle has got to be one of the most tedious. Now I quite like Liam - he's got quite a good sense of humour - but Carla and Tony? Purleeeese. Yuck, they are so slimy they make my skin crawl. Neither of them has any redeeming features, they have the charm and personality of a pair of slugs. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not agin a nice lady duly painted, but her? Ewwwww. I wonder whether it's some sort of after-life we're watching, duly embalmed. As for Tony, it's a pity they did a charisma bypass when his mummy knitted him. No doubt this little storyline will play on for a while yet, but the longer it does, I just pray my depression doesn't reach a critical point, where I might do something I regret. Actually, thinking of hit-men, does anyone have any contacts? I'll gladly set the ball rolling for the "hit" fund rather than endure more of this slop.

Michelle and the "baby swap" storyline continues to unfold. As the "I Ching" people would have it, nothing stays the same forever and it's well nigh on impossible to start wondering "what if?" All of the parties in this storyline have made some movement down this route - that was a given - but, of course, it leaves scope for noses to be pushed out of joint and that's going to continue. I feel for Steve, he's just an innocent bystander caught in the wash. Be prepared for more upset.

Leanne, having previously turned tricks for a living, is now running out of them to save her ailing restaurant. But I mean, we all knew it was doomed to disaster. After all, what experience did she have of actually running a restaurant? Even as regards cooking, her expertise was probably limited to "Pizza Ping" cuisine. But this is Soapland, dear reader, where miracles occur (sometimes) and you can become a brain surgeon just by wishing it so and within a couple of weeks. I've heard of fast-track but this takes the biscuit.

The bits of Corrie I most enjoyed in this episode were the scenes featuring Vernon. Now we all know he's a total waste of space, but hey, it's fun watching this deluded dreamer, I bet he can't even spell "strategic planning" let alone partake in the activity. I just adore the gentle mickey-taking and subtle humour of the dialogue in those scenes. He's a superb comedy actor, playing his scenes just spot on. Betty plays the grumpy battle-axe with the acerbic put downs she does so well and Sean and Harry are vital extras in those scenes. I don't know whether this storyline is going anywhere, but I don't care - it's what Corrie still does so well, that everyday inconsequential chatter.

How would I rate the episode? Well, "oil give it foive", but I won't tell you out of how many!;-)

Stick around folks, watch this screen, another update from me for the 20:30 episode is just around the corner. Well, hopefully in the next 24 hours.

Eh-oh and Teletubbie byebyes!

Luv

Tinks

Part two

After I wrote my last update, I was thinking further about the "then and now" differences. Then I was recording the episodes and playing them back on my VCR, now I record them on a digital (hard drive). Then I got onto the internet through a dialup connection, now I'm on a broadband (ADSL) connection that's about 200 times faster. My Canadian friends were already on ADSL/cable and it took a few years for us to get to their speeds. Mind you, it took the Government to force the main phone company, BT, to roll out ADSL as BT received their income on a pay-as-you-go tariff, so it was in their interests for us to be online for as long as possible. Even now, we still have some vestiges of that philosophy around - we're the only country in Europe where limits exist (with some providers) on the volume of traffic downloaded through broadband. It continues to astonish me.

Right, onto matters Corrie..

Coronation Street sponsored by Harveys Furniture, and that flying Easter egg man, dropped by Hilda's ducks into a bowl of fruit.

Episode written by Joe Turner and directed by Stuart Davids

We're back at Weatherfield General where Gail has finally come to after falling down the stairs at home and knocking herself out. The family is there in the shape of R'Audreh, clucking like a mother hen and psycho-son David, plus the doctor and DC Weller. Audrey kisses her daughter on the head and Gail opens her eyes. The doc hands her a drink telling her that her throat will be sore for a while, "so not too much talking". David is at the foot of her bed staring at Gail, who lifts her eyes - their eyes meet. David anxiously asks "Mum?". I could swear that Gail has sussed what's going on. But she asks "Where am I?" Well, playing dumb buys you time while you work out your next move, doesn't it? Audrey tells her she's in hospital after falling downstairs. "Fell downstairs?" repeats Gail. David's eyes are glued to Gail, wondering whether she'll spill the beans. DC Weller takes the opportunity to introduce herself and why she is there, to find out how Gail fell downstairs. She asks whether it's ok to ask her some questions, but the doctor steps in with a "Keep it brief, please". She says that Gail has bruises on her upper arm and asks if she can tell her how she got them. She asks a few more questions but Gail is wearily shaking her head. "What's the last thing you remember?" she continues, "who's the last person you remember?" All the time, David is staring at her transfixed. Gail swallows and offers "Jason. It was Jason Grimshaw.. we were arguing". David looks relieved as the copper pursues the line of questioning. "Can you remember what you were arguing about? Did he grab your arms, did Jason push you down the stairs? Audrey asks the detective whether they have to do this right now as her daughter is so tired. The DC agrees was her request but tells her that she will have to talk to her again. "If you remember anything please call me on this number" as she hands her business card to Audrey.

Back at Velandros, Paul is still angry that Leanne has sold the restaurant. She tells him it's a good offer. "I thought this place was your dream" he replies. "Well, who is to say that you can only have one dream?" she continues. She tells him that she needs his co-operation on this, how he has helped her in the past to save the restaurant, now they have the opportunity to get some cash behind them and to start again. "Please", she begs. He finally relents, much to her relief. She hugs him and thanks him again profusely, telling him he won't regret this.

DC Weller arrives at the builder's yard, looking for Jason. She introduces herself to him and says she would like to ask him a few questions. "What about?" asks Jason. "Mrs Platt" is her brief reply. Jason advises her that there is nothing that he can tell her. Bill asks whether something has happened and whether Gail is alright. The detective reassures them that Gail is fine, "it's a routine enquiry". Bill offers them the use of the office but the detective seems to want to interview Jason at the station. Jason agrees to this and follows her to her car. She opens the door for him and he gets in. Meanwhile, Blanche is on the street, taking it all in. DC Weller nods to her and gets into the driver's seat. Bill's mobile rings - he answers it. It's Audrey, presumably ringing to tell him that Gail has come to. He tells her, with some surprise, "we just have a cops round here". Meanwhile, Eileen has just come round the corner to see her son being driven off and asks Bill who it was with her son. "It's the police", he replies, "he's helping them with their enquiries". Eileen looks stunned. Bill continues to tell her that Gail's last recollection was having a big argument with Jason.

At the hospital, Audrey is asking the doctor when Gail is likely to come home. He tells her they would like to keep her in for a few days for observation. Audrey is concerned about Gail's apparent memory loss and why she cannot remember what happened to her just before she fell. The doctor reassures her it's quite common with concussion to lead to some memory loss. "Will it come back, will she ever remember?", she continues. The doctor is noncommittal, "it's hard to say, she may remember something, maybe nothing. It can be quite frustrating, which is why I would not put too much pressure on her" he advises. Audrey sees the sense in his advice and tells him that they are just grateful that she's okay. She breathes a sigh of relief.

A few yards away, David is sitting at his mother's bedside. "Can you really do not remember what happened to you?", he asks nervously. "Why would Jason push me down the stairs? It must have been an accident", she replies. He tells her he is sorry, but she says "what have you to be sorry for?" There is a glimmer of relief on his face, as he continues emotionally "I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm sorry you fell." He regrets not been there to help her. He tells her he was worried about her, really worried. "I suppose you don't know how you'll feel until something terrible happens", he adds. He is almost in tears.

Jason is being interviewed at the station by DC Weller. "So you went round to Mrs Platt's house about three o'clock?" she asks. Jason confirms this. The detective asks whether there was anyone else in the house. "No", is Jason's succinct reply. She asks him the purpose of his visit - he says it was to talk to her. When pressed about the subject, he tells her that he had heard something and it turned out that he was wrong. She tells him that Gail's neighbours had heard raised voices and Jason explains "well, it was because I was a bit worked up." Exasperated at trying to get to the bottom of the story, the DC tells him that a bit of detail would help. So Jason starts to open up and explains how he thought Sarah, his wife, from whom he was separated, was going to have an abortion, it could have been his child. She asks how he felt about that. "I was angry", he replies. They wouldn't give him her new number, he thought they were trying to sort things out behind his back. "So you went round to confront Mrs Platt?", probes the detective. Jason agrees. DC Weller continues, "you argued with her. Did you go up the stairs?" "No", is his vehement reply.

At the Rovers, Michelle is all dolled up, ready to go out to Carla's. She looks at Steve and asks if he is not getting changed. Steve seems a bit nonplussed, so Michelle spells it out to him that they are supposed to be round at Carla's for 7:30. He clearly doesn't want to make an effort, "they've invited us round to tea, is not the royal garden party". She starts to have second thoughts and asks whether she should change. Steve says "no, you look gorgeous!" Michelle's face lights up. Ryan comes in and tells he phoned Nick earlier today and that he had told him he would love to go on holiday with him. Michelle looks slightly put out, she gives her okay but that she still wants to talk to him about it first. Ryan cannot understand why. "Because that's what mothers do", chips in Steve, "I ask my mum before I do anything." "You're sad", replies Ryan as he leaves the room. Puzzled, Steve asks "am I sad?" "A little bit", replies Michelle, gesturing with her thumb and forefinger. She looks at the bottle of wine that Steve has selected and adds, "you could at least take a bottle of the good stuff".

Jason is still being interrogated down the station. He agrees that he rowed with Gail, but insists that nothing happened. He tells her that he gets on really well with Gail and that when he left her house, she was fine. The detective asks whether he can think of anyone else who would want to hurt Gail, but he is unable to come up with anybody. He pauses as it suddenly occurs to him that David has had problems, so he volunteers some more information, adding that David is "a pretty messed up kid". He describes how David had once told him he had dreamed of killing his own mother. The detective asks whether anybody else was present when David had made his confession, but Jason has to admit he was alone with him at the time. "So why do you think he told you this?", continues the detective. Jason is clearly irritated by the line of questioning and angrily replies that he does not know why. "Maybe he was just trying to wind me up", he adds. The detective asks whether he thinks David is capable of killing his mother. "Not really, no" is Jason's reply. Reaching the end of her questioning, DC Weller spells it out to Jason - he was the last person to see Gail, he had argued with her, she had hit him, the next thing she is found at the bottom of the stairs, showing signs of a struggle. "I'm sorry Jason, but right now, you're all I've got." Jason's turn to gulp as the credits roll for half time.

Intermission

It is evening as the second half of the programme commences in the Rovers. Vernon, Blanche, Jerry and Claire are seated round a table and Blanche is holding forth spreading the gossip. "They looked like they meant business" she's saying. Vernon asks who meant business. "The police who took Jason away", adds Claire. "The police?", asks Vernon. "They put him in the back, they weren't taking any chances", Blanche continues. Vernon seems to be out of the loop and wants to know why the police took Jason away. Claire explains that it was because she saw him going in to Gail's and then coming out later with a mark across his face. Jerry adds that he told them he had heard raised voices. "Oh" replies Vernon as the penny drops. Claire thinks they may have jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Wrong conclusion? What other conclusion is there?" says Blanche incredulously. She hasn't seen Eileen behind her. But instead of feeling awkward at her faux pas, Blanche goes on the offensive, telling Eileen that it is rude to eavesdrop. In any case, she maintains, she is only saying what everybody else is thinking. "What? That our Jason tried to kill Gail?", asks Eileen. When Blanche says that Jerry and Claire have the evidence, "she saw him going in, he heard them rowing", that just annoys Blanche even more. "Oh well, it is clearly an open and shut case then, isn't it? Put your black cap on and let's start building the gallows", she replies sarcastically. When Jerry tries to explain that they were only talking, Eileen points out that they were accusing her son of attempted murder and, for their information, "Jason chose to go to the police to answer some routine questions - he did not try and kill Gail. In fact, if they are looking for a prime suspect, they should have sent them round to my house because there are times when I would gladly pushed Gail Platt headfirst down a flight of stairs. Tell that to the cops." With that, she furiously storms out of the pub. "You could have told me she were there", complains Blanche.

The action switches to Carla's flat. Maria, Michelle, Steve, Liam and Tony are all there, waiting expectantly, but Carla isn't. "So where is Carla?", asks Liam. "Not here", replies Tony rather obviously, "well you know what Carla is like, always last to leave work". They are making small talk, but it's all a bit embarrassing. Then the door opens and Carla comes in, straight from work. She is clearly surprised, not expecting a full crowd in her flat. When she asks what is going on, Tony tells her that they're having a dinner party, Michelle adding that it's a surprise. No kidding! Carla is not amused and starts to castigate Tony - so she's come from work on a Monday night after a particularly hard day to have a dinner party? That was the plan, Tony tells her. "Am I wrong?", he asks. She backs down and Tony tells her dinner is only 20 minutes away, which should give her enough time to jump in the shower and get changed. She meekly complies and leaves the room. "Crisps?", asks Mr Sensitivity.

We're back at Coronation Street where DC Weller has driven Jason back home, just in time to meet Eileen returning home. She asks whether everything is alright and Jason says it is, but then the detective adds a "for now", much to Eileen's surprise, "let's all hope that Gail gets her memory back nice and quickly, then we'll all know where we are."

In the Rovers, Vernon has been drawing on his pad. Sean looks at it, exclaims "aww, that's nice" and asks him whether that was something that Amy has drawn. Vernon tells him that he did it, it's his latest idea is that the pub, can you guess what it is? Sean studies the drawing and tells him it looks like a bus shelter in. Vernon replies that he's close, he calls it the "smokers secret", explaining that it is like bus shelter but in the back yard of the pub, where people can go for a smoke, protected from the elements. "And if you look carefully, there is a little shelf all the way along, where you can put your drinks", he explains proudly, so that smokers can pick up their drink and go straight through to the outside to enjoy their smoke. When Sean tells him that it's not a bad idea, Vernon proudly tells him that Liz likes the idea and has given him the go-ahead. Result! When Sean asks those slates on the roof, Vernon carries on with his spiel telling him how they are meant to echo the red brick/slate Victorian look of the pub. "Oh, it's like a mini Rovers in the backyard?", asks Sean. "Oh, a mini Rovers, that's it. Exactly!", replies Vernon, adding "I should have realised, your lot, sensitive, aren't they, you've got taste, you've got the eye", making a not so subtle stereotypical comment about homosexuality. He is oblivious to the grimace on Sean's face, adding "I just hope Bill Webster has got the imagination to realise my vision".

Leanne comes into the Rovers and seeing Dan offers to buy him a drink. He is clearly pleased to see her. She tells him that her partner has given her the night off. Dan says he will get the drinks in but when Leanne teases him about his masculinity been threatened, he agrees to let her buy the drink.

Back in Carla's, everyone is enjoying the meal. Maria comments on how good a cook Tony is and asks Carla whether she knew Tony could cook like this. Carla is still smarting and tartly replies "he's full of surprises". Liam takes the opportunity to ask Carla whether she's heard back from a client, but Tony jumps in "no business talk at the table, house rules". "House rules?", queries Carla. Realising his faux pas, Tony says "Oh sorry, not my house!" "That's right", replies Carla having won her point, "unless, of course, you've added my flat to your latest property portfolio, without me looking. No, so Barton's order will be with us tomorrow." She gets Tony to admit that he is the main investor in the Victoria Street development, a small block of flats, some top end apartments and affordable housing. Steve asks " which end are you in?" "Exclusively top end" replies Carla, "there's nothing affordable about my Tony."

At Weatherfield General, Tina has joined David outside Gail's room. She asks him how Gail is, "she's okay", is the reply. He looks drawn and when she asks him how he is, he nods his head and replies okay. She asks him whether he wants her to go, he apologises and tells her that he wants her to stay, a lot of things have gone on and it's not been easy to think. She apologises and says she should have spoken to him (about the abortion). "Yes, you should" he replies. When she asks if she can go in to see Gail, David pauses for a second and says he doesn't want her upsetting his mother and explains that she is still pretty tired. Saying she won't be long both of them go in to see Gail who looks pleased to see them.

Meanwhile, at the Rovers, Leanne has been telling Dan about selling the restaurant and he is casually suggesting she could be in the market for a new partner. "Well, I'm willing to consider any serious proposals", she replies. "Oh, I'm not sure I'm ready to go that far" says Dan realising what he has just implied. Grabbing the moment, Leanne realises she has to come clean about her past. She asks him if he knew what she was doing before the restaurant. "No, surprise me", replies Dan. She gulps, "okay, I was a hooker" and swigs her drink. He bursts out laughing, thinking this is a joke, but she tells him she worked for an escort agency. She did it because she was desperate and she gave it up because she wanted to be respected, she is not that person any more. "Right, erm, okay", replies Dan not really knowing what to say. She tells him that the reason she has told him is that most people in the area know, so if he is seen out with her, he might get a few funny looks. She is used to it but she thinks he should know. When Dan fails to react she asks whether he's going to say anything. "We've all got a past, haven't we?", replies Dan. "Yes" says Leanne, relieved by his reaction, as he swiftly changes the topic of conversation, "do you want a drink?" She declines the offer and decides to go back to the restaurant, she says she doesn't want to take advantage and if she goes now she can help Paul clean down for tomorrow. "Very conscientious", states Dan. "See, you're learning things about me all the time", replies a smiling Leanne.

Vernon comes over to Dan and asks him if he smokes. When Dan says no, Vernon asks would he consider starting if they provided a purpose built specially designed area "for you to have a quick puff in". The look on Dan's face says it all. Pillock!

The dinner party at Carla's is in full swing, with everyone enjoying a post-meal drink. Maria is saying that you don't know how much you miss drinking until you stop it. "Well we don't want a pickled baby, do we?", states Liam. Michelle says that some blokes give up the booze to be supportive of their pregnant wives. "What kind of blokes?", asks Steve. "I think they are called sensitive blokes", replies Carla, " I don't think I've ever seen one, though". Liam states that he is mortally offended and he would quite happily give up drinking for nine months in support of his gorgeous wife, if that's what she really wanted. "Yes, go on then", challenges Maria. Realising he has been trapped, he checks to confirm that is what she really wants and then rolls over, to much laughter from the other guests. Carla then asks to see Steve's sensitive side, to which he replies "I've got to lug this one up a flight of stairs and put her to bed. How sensitive is that?" "Oh, bless you" replies Michelle putting her arms around him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Turning her eyes to the remaining male in the room, Carla tells Tony it is his turn. Maria tries to excuse Tony as he has cooked a lovely meal, saying that is sensitive enough. Tony braces himself and stares at Carla. Not knowing what to make of it, she asks "what?" "Marry me", challenges Tony. After a slight pause, Michelle adds "I think we have a winner". Carla dismisses Tony's proposal, "no, that's not sensitive, that's drunk". "I mean it", insists Tony, "marry me". Carla, still thinking it's a joke, but tells him not to cause embarrassment. "Don't you want to marry me?", continues Tony. Carla is getting more irritated and tells him to stop, but Tony tells her he can't stop now as everyone is waiting for an answer. Trying to dismiss the proposal, Carla replies "no, I think what everybody is waiting for is another drink". The other guests look on, highly embarrassed. "Come on", pleads Tony, "I'm not that bad a catch, even though I do say so myself". Trying to defuse the tension, Maria offers "well, he can cook" and Steve chips in with "he's loaded", while Michelle drunkenly adds "yes, and he's good looking after a few drinks." Reaching into his pocket, he gets out a box, "maybe this will help you make your mind up". He opens the box to reveal a ring with a massive diamond. "Will - you - marry me" he repeats. The penny drops with all the guests that this is no idle banter. "So this is why this was a surprise party", realises Maria. The silence from Carla is deafening. "Pretend no-one else is here", suggests Tony, "we're on our own, imagine we're on a desert island somewhere warm, somewhere romantic, now, will - you - marry - me?" You can hear a pin drop. After a few seconds pause, Carla gives her answer without any emotion. "Yeah." A smile of relief comes over Tony's face. "Yeah, I'll marry you", continues Carla. Getting up from his chair Tony tells Steve there is a bottle of champagne in the fridge, if he wouldn't mind doing the honours. The tension defused, the guests relax with congratulations all round, as Tony rushes over to Carla - putting the ring on her finger, they kiss.

At the hospital, Tina is apologising to David, saying she wishes she could turn back time. "It doesn't matter", replies David, "we all make mistakes". "I'm really sorry about your mum", continues Tina, "how did it happen, how did she fall down the stairs?" Looking away from Tina and into Gail's room, David replies "she can't remember." "And you don't know?". David pauses and then lies, "How would I know?"

The credits roll on another episode of Corrie.

So, how was it for me? Well, it's in episodes such as this, you see what a good actor "David" is. In these episodes he shows his vulnerability extremely well, while still trying to bluff his way out of what happened. Mind you, that philosophy reminds me of the Billy Connolly schooldays story where the young child has just filled his pants and protests to the teacher "It wasnae me, miss, a big boy did it and ran away!" Corrie has always been a pretty moralistic soap and there is always a day of reckoning for those who transgress. That fate has just come to Leanne, who looks like she is getting into a relationship with Dan - amazingly enough, he's not phased by her past. Most blokes would have run a mile, though. The Carla/Tony saga rumbles on. I just cannot get to like these two characters, they're such cold fish. Now presumably, this is all tit-for-that as Tony realises that Carla has deep (unspoken) feelings for Liam - we have already seen Maria making a pre-emptive strike on Liam, so Carla cannot get her claws into him. So, just how long before Carla and Liam admit their true feelings and get it together, I really don't know.

Those of you who know me will know how much I enjoy good dialogue and a bit of humour. Not much of that in this episode for me, I'm afraid, with a couple of exceptions. Blanche is usually in situations where she can carry off some good lines and the pub scene was a typical one for her, Eileen too, for that matter. The other character I enjoy watching in Corrie, is Steve - I recall him being a pretty wooden character for a few years and he's matured into a good comic actor, over the last 10 years or so.

Right, that's it for me. Before I go, I just want to thank the regular Monday updaters for allowing me to drop in and do my anniversary updates - cheers guys.

I'm off now. See you around. Tarra!

Alan

Hi all, here's the update for Wednesday 19th March.

Audrey and David are in Gail's hospital room. Gail wonders if Jason has said anything. Audrey tells her that the police have spoken to him and asks if she has any idea why she hit him. Gail doesn't know, but is sure that even if she did hit him he would never hurt her. Audrey doesn't think Jason has much of a temper, and David looks up from the magazine he's reading and comments that although he's never seen Jason lose his rag, you never really know, do you?

Carla and Tony are talking about their new engagement. He wonders if she just said ‘yes' to save an awkward silence. She suggests he ask her again now they're alone. He turns to her and takes her hand. "Carla Connor, light of my life, body of my dreams, will you marry me?" She whispers, "Yes!" He then tells her to get herself to work before it grinds to a halt.

Norris sees Eileen and Jason out on the Street. He starts the conversation by moaning about the lorries that are bringing building materials to the site across the road where the new flats are being built. In the end Eileen says, "Go on, I dare you!" Norris blusters that he doesn't know what she's talking about. Eileen replies that she dares him to ask Jason if he had anything to do with Gail chucking herself down the stairs. Norris stutters and says he'd forgotten all about it, but Eileen doesn't believe him for a minute. (And who would?) Jason tells him that the police asked him a few questions and he answered them.

Audrey pulls up in her car in front of the salon. As she gets out of the car she and Jason make brief eye contact across the street.

In the cafe, Roy is talking on the phone to someone (presumably a social worker) about Chesney. Becky is clearing tables when Kirk walks in. He's spoken to Chesney who isn't terribly happy with his foster carers.

Michelle is about to go off to see Nick about the holiday he's taking Ryan on when Vernon starts to relate a story about his cousin's nephew who nearly drowned once on a holiday in Corfu. Michelle is immediately alarmed, until Steve assures her that Ryan isn't going to drown, he's a perfectly capable swimmer. Vernon says you have to watch the undertow. Michelle, getting ever more agitated, asks what exactly did happen to his cousin's nephew. "Oh, he weren't a little lad, he was in his thirties", says Vernon, ‘he fell in the harbour, drunk." Michelle turns to Steve, "What if he gets drunk?"

Carla is showing all the factory workers her engagement ring, and they are all suitably impressed. Liam comes along to hustle them all back to work. As he and Carla walk back to the office she asks if he's ok, he seems a bit subdued. He tells her he's fine and he thinks that she and Tony are perfect for each other.

In the cafe, Roy has finished his phone call to the social worker, saying that Fizz is perfectly capable of looking after Chesney. He tells Kirk they'll do a home check and a short interview. She might be advised to apply for a residence order. Kirk tells him he's been brilliant, making all the phone calls and sorting it all out. Roy still thinks that Kirk should have told Fizz on the phone what was happening. "Do you want me to phone her now?" he asks. Kirk points out that she'll be home tomorrow anyway, and he can tell her face to face. "I've done it all wrong, haven't I?" he says, miserably. Becky tells him, "Yes, totally!"

Audrey goes to the yard to see Jason, who insists that he had nothing to do with Gail's accident. "I spoke to her, that's all," he says. Audrey asks what they spoke about but Jason is reluctant to say. "It's private," he mumbles. Audrey says she would have thought he would want to prove his innocence, so in the end he tells her that Becky heard talk of an abortion and he assumed it was Sarah. He tells her how he went to see Gail about it and how she slapped him. He still can't understand however, how Becky got it into her head about abortions. He tells Audrey he calmed down and left, but the next thing he heard was that Gail had a fall and now everyone thinks he did it. Audrey assures him that isn't the case, and goes off looking thoughtful.

In the cafe, Audrey and Bill are talking about Gail. Bills says that it could have been a lot worse, she could have ended up with brain damage, so what's a wheelchair in the grand scheme of things? Sally, ordering cakes for the factory, overhears the last part and asks if Gail's going to be in a wheelchair. Audrey assures her it's only going to be temporary.

Eileen is sitting at a table in the cafe, and calls out, "I am here, and before you start our Jason had nothing to do with it!" Audrey tells her that nobody thinks he did. Eileen says she should tell the police that, they had him for three hours. Bill looks puzzled. "But he was only gone for half an hour." Eileen says she tends to exaggerate when she's tense. Sally comments that it's terrible about Gail's memory but Bill tells her it should only be temporary.

In the back room of the pub, Steve is teasing Ryan about his forthcoming holiday with Nick. Steve's heard there's a girl going, a girl of about Ryan's age. Ryan says her name is Katy, he's met her and she goes to Oak Hill. Steve tells him that her parents must have money. "Don't sign a pre-nup!" he jokes.

Audrey is visiting Gail who it seems, has David dancing attendance on her every minute of the day, and is loving it. Audrey suddenly remembers that she's left the flowers she bought in the car and asks David to go and get them for her.

Back at the Rovers, Vernon is moaning to Michelle about Bill's quote for his ‘Smokers Secret', "All he needs is a lasso and he can't even start until July!" Then he says that he's been in touch with a couple of mates in the building trade and they do it cash in hand and have it done in a couple of days.

With David out of the way, Audrey tells Gail what Jason told her about the reason for his visit to Gail that day. Gail thinks she remembers….but says it might be because Audrey's just mentioned it. Audrey says she's sure Jason wasn't responsible for Gail's fall, but Gail just can't remember at all. Suddenly David comes back in, he couldn't find any flowers. Audrey thinks she must have left them on the roof of the car and then driven off. Audrey then says she's going, and offers David a lift back home, but David says he'll stay with his mum for a bit longer.

In the pub, Carla tells Michelle she thought she might disapprove of her getting married again. Michelle tells her life's too short for that sort of thing.

Liam comes in and joins them, and is soon followed by Tony. Vernon offers his congratulations.

Bill arrives at the salon to find Audrey deep in thought. She's obviously reflecting on the events of the last few days.

Roy tells Becky that he thinks he ought to be with Kirk when he breaks the news to her about Chesney. Becky says it'll be like telling someone a loved one has died. Roy thinks it won't be quite the same, they should be able to reverse this situation, whereas death is quite final. Becky goes off, pondering further over what it's like to be dead.

In the salon, Audrey has told Bill about Tina's abortion. He asks if David knows about it. She reminds him how upset he was when he found Ivy Tilsley's diary and how badly he took it when he learned that Gail nearly had an abortion. "If he thought Tina might have aborted his own child……" She then asks Bill, "What if he found out and confronted Gail?" Bill asks if she thinks David pushed Gail down the stairs. "Well yes….no….possibly," stammers Audrey. Bill thinks they should tell the police, but Audrey says no, she wants to talk to David.

Anne Logan

Hi, a bit of swap around this evening as I am taking the first episode with Margaret taking the second episode a little later this evening.

This episode opens with a grim faced Bill and Audrey arriving outside the Platt / Hillman / Tilsley residence with Audrey revealing that she has difficulty imaging her grandson pushing her daughter downstairs. Bill who is convinced that David is guilty of the event tells her to try harder. And as Audrey points out they have to take the view that he knows nothing about the abortion, so they need to tread carefully. Bill replies that in his view as he keeps saying they should simply phone the police. Audrey will not have it.

Ken is walking Eccles and stops to tell them that life is being made so difficult by the builders (no offence meant Bill) that he had trouble finding space to park his car last night, indeed if it gets worse he will have to catch a bus from where the car is parked. [When did the Barlows acquire a dog? Anything has to better than Tracy I suppose].

Anyway Audrey fails to keep her cool and she starts asking David as soon as the door is open if he pushed his mam downstairs. David is immediately on the attack - Why would he push her down the stairs - who has put this idea in your head - after all the police are talking to Jason and seem convinced it is him. Bill defends Jason but David asks him why he is so sure. Audrey them immediately asks about the abortion - David pretends he knows nothing about it and even asks if it was his. Audrey is convinced, Bill guesses that David is faking it.

At Roys Rolls they had not been intending to open - but Becky just wants to get out of the hostel - apparently one of the other girls believed the crucifixion was on Good Friday, but Becky had had a bet that it was the resurrection - or otherwise why would it be "Good Friday" and not "Bad Friday". Anyway it is busy with the builders when Ken comes in. Roy wants to support Kirk is breaking the bad news over Chesney to Fiona on her return and so Ken volunteers for a shift - after again cracking his joke over car parking and bus rides!!

If this were real life David would be due an Oscar for his act as she explains that they were making decisions about the baby for his own good. It was Tina's decision after she asked for advice from Gail. Bill points out that another view would be that David had found out about the abortion and he was not happy and then Gail was lying at the bottom of the stairs, David panics and starts lying (I wonder if Bill has considered watching the previous episodes before putting this theory together). David just results to further lying with offence the best form of defence asking how they can even consider such a scenario when Gail is lying in bed in a hospital. Bill reckons David is lying and says so, David takes it badly. Audrey tells David that he can tell her anything and she and Bill depart. David's brain leaps into action (for a change) and he phones Tina and tells her, in a very abrupt manner, to get over here now.

We have a touching scene with Michelle saying a farewell to Ryan as he departs on holiday with Nick, the entertainment being provided by Steve who totally confuses Devon and Cornwall. Steve hopes they will bring him back a pasty (for my foreign readers this is a peculiar Cornish concoction of pastry around meat and vegetables).

Kirk is telling Fiona the events of the last week - until the camera pulls back and we see is practising on an empty chair! The door bell rings and although we know Fiz has a key he rushes to the door, opens it and gives the same poor explanation to - Roy!! Oh well good try Kirk.

Along at the Rovers Bill and Audrey are discussing events. Bill is absolutely convinced that David is lying, just like he does time and again. Audrey says it is circumstantial evidence but as Bill gently correct her it is actually a motive. She tells him to do what he wants to do. Bill excuses himself and heads to the gents where he gets his mobile out and phones the police to report his suspicions.

Kirk and Roy are waiting for Fiona on Maxeem's bench. Apparently Kirk and Chesney were texting each other most of the night. Just as well Chesney is not at school today. Kirk admits he is scared in the night and often just watches television or leaves a light on - and the telly is just about lawyers. At which point Fiona returns.

Back at Plattland Tina arrives and David brings her up to date and tells her he needs an alibi for earlier than he was with her. She asks why (well let us be honest she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and although hardly a sandwich short of a picnic she is probably missing the odd crisp). Anyway she soon latches on accuses him - at which he nods. David tries to tell her that it was accident - a push not a deliberate shove - so Tina suggests that he tells the police that; he reckons they would not believe him and they start arguing about the abortion. Then Tina (sorry I take back my earlier view, she is a whisky bottle short of a binge drinking evening) realises that whilst they were making up Gail was lying injured at the bottom of the stairs and David is merely bothered about getting away with it. She refuses to lie for him. He says that she got him into this mess and she has to get him out of it.

Leanne is meeting Peter Garrard again. He has had a rethink and has decided that the restaurant is struggling and his previous offer was over the top. He can only offer £40k (which I think is what Leanne paid for it and ignores the money she and Paul have since spent on it). Leanne is not amused having worked her fingers to the bone (well at least it is honest work and not degrading unlike her previous career) - and as Peter points out she is barely breaking even. She erupts and sends him on his way with a flea or two in his ear.

Light relief. Steve presents the distressed Michelle with a bunch of flowers and some money for a spa treatment. They go off to let Amy put some makeup on Steve. He re-assures that all will be well with Ryan.

Fiz has identified that the welcoming committee is not the most welcoming team she has ever met - "What's the matter?". Kirk is distressed. They usher her into the Battersby residence and Roy says they have to talk about Chesney, there was a telephone call into Social Services concerning Chesney and as Kirk blurts out - he was taken away, the place was a tip, he was not going to school and playing games all night. So he was in care with a man and a woman. Then Fiz wants to know who made the phone call. Roy is reluctant but Kirk admits that Clare was responsible. Fiz demands the social worker's number so she can get on the case and get him back as soon as.

David is telling Tina how Gail wanted rid of him before he was born and how he was never wanted. Tina tries to tell him different but David is not listening as Tina says it was her decision and that simply Gail offered to pay. David can hardly believe his ears that they had worked together and that neither of them believed he could bring up baby - well even Sarah had managed that so it must be simple. Tina responds that perhaps Sarah has a bit more about her than David thinks. Anyway David is on safe ground he reckons whilst the police think it is Jason was responsible - when he sees a car pulling up outside. Tina notes his response to the car stopping and he observes that the police are outside.

DC Weller (Scottish by accent and vaguely familiar - previously married to Mark in EastEnders or am I confused. Tina wants David to open the door, but he seems strangely reluctant. He wants her to agree that she will lie for him - but she keeps refusing. She says they will understand an accident and that she lost her footing. David says that she will lie to him and not the police. She points out she never lied to him - merely did not tell him the whole truth. She opens the door and lets the pigs in.

DC Weller wants to talk about his mother - he wonders why - unless something has happened to her after all Jason did it? He agrees to help if he can. Weller would like to come down to the station if he can - now!

Outside he asks for gum and when she cannot give him any he slips back indoors to get some and speak to Tina. Please he begs her - will you tell the police I was with you? She turns away from him. He wants to know why anybody never helps him and he goes back outside to join the police leaving Tina to make a decision when she is questioned.

And Margaret will be along shortly.

K Richard W

Greetings, gentle readers, and as a snowy Easter here fades into the memory, to be replaced by an even snowier working week, we move back in time to bring you Friday's second episode. (My thanks to Richard for agreeing to do the first episode after I stupidly typed up the second by mistake! It wasn't entirely my fault – ITV had uploaded the wrong one to the website and I hadn't watched it on the telly!).

May I just say what a pleasure it was to have Tinky back for a bit. He was doing updates when I first started reading them, so he's a bit of a hero...

Anyway, on with the show!

The woman detective, who used to be Mark's girlfriend, Ruth, in EE, waits outside as David hustles out and into the police car, with Tina asking him anxiously whether she should call anyone. Jason, coming out of his house, sees them drive off.

In the pub, Vernon has decided that just because Bill's estimate for the bespoke smoking area in the yard was higher than he expected, Bill must be a cowboy. Vernon plans to call some mates of his, instead. Jason comes in and tells Bill and Audrey he's just seen David being taken away by the police. He goes to get his pint and Bill admits to Audrey that he called the police about David. "Which you knew, and you didn't try to stop me," he says.

Kelly's eating on her own in the cafe as Roy starts to stack chairs. Harry comes in and Roy decides to let him order something, even though they're just closing. He orders soup and a ham sandwich and goes to sit near Kelly. Becky asks Roy if he'd like a drink later. She assumes he'll say no, but he agrees. He says he does want to have a talk with her and the Rovers will be a convivial setting. He won't say what it's about, but Becky is worried.

David is in the interview room at Weatherfield nick. He hasn't done anything wrong so he doesn't want legal representation. The detective tells him somebody pushed his mother down the stairs. She suggests they don't get on and David says mostly they do. She raises the time when he sent the cards signed "Richard," his claiming his mother had beaten him up and his driving his car into the canal. David denies he hates his mother. "There have been times when we haven't got on, but I didn't push her down the stairs." He says he was with Tina. The detective tells him that Jason told them David once said he wanted to kill Gail – that he pretended to have a gun and shoot her. David claims Jason is bitter towards the family after the break-up of his marriage to Sarah.

In the foster home, Fiz arrives to see Chesney. She tells him it's all her fault. He says it isn't, but she's not to blame Kirk, either. He says he wants to go home. "Do you think they'll let me now you're here?"

David admits to the police that no-one saw him at Tina's. The detective questions him about the relationship and David says they've been seeing each other for ten weeks. "So you think that on the basis of a 10-week relationship, she's going to tell us that you were with her when she knows it isn't true, and when she knows she's going to be questioned by police and lawyers, and when she knows she's going to have to stand up in court under oath? It's not going to happen, is it?" She asks why Tina should risk her neck defending him.

Vernon's organized for his mates to come round. Vince and Don could build a cathedral, he tells a worried Sean. Jason goes off, telling Bill he'll see him on Tuesday. Bill defends himself to Audrey, but she seems to be mainly worried that the police will tell David who called.

A fed-up Leanne wants to get out of the restaurant at the end of a hard day. Amber wants to know whether she's still got a job and Paul reassures her she does. Leanne's fed up with having to be polite to customers all the time and worries that they'll never sell the restaurant.

The police interview finishes. The detective tells David that if Tina lies for him, she'll be in a lot of trouble, and if David thinks anything of Tina, he shouldn't put her on the spot like that.

The foster mother asks "Fiona" if she wants to stay for dinner. Fiz won't. She tells Ches she'll do what she can but it might take a bit of time. Ches worries "they" will just say No, he can never go home.

Audrey and Bill arrive at the hospital and tell Gail the police are interviewing David. "But what's it got to do with David?" she asks. "He wasn't even there." Bill asks if she's remembered. "Well, no, I don't remember anything, but he wasn't, was he?"

Kirk witters on at Dan about the joys of working for your Dad. When Leanne comes in, however, Kirk is abandoned mid-witter so Dan can get a drink for her. He asks if she's sold the restaurant yet. Harry comes in with Kelly and tells Sean that Dan will pay for their drinks. He asks Leanne if the restaurant's doing well. She tells him no and rushes away to sit down (How come no-one in the Rovers is ever left wandering forlornly about, bag in one hand, drink in the other, looking for somewhere to sit? And then being stuck at a table full of dead crisp packets and spilt lager with no sign of any staff member willing to clean it up?). Dan asks Harry what's going on with Kelly and Harry retaliates by asking about Leanne.

I think David Platt is the only soap character left who can glower properly. He's doing it now, through the window in the door of Gail's enormous and private room. How much do you think the NHS pays the makers for this bit of PR? They spot him and he comes in Audrey suggests she and Bill ought to go because the staff don't like more than two visitors around the bed. David, in the doorway, says that before they go he wants to know who shopped him. He tells Gail that the attention has moved away from Jason to him. "I would have thought the important thing was, are they right?" says Bill. "No, they're not!" Gail says emphatically, proving that her brain is in the same condition it was before the fall. Bill admits he made the call and says anybody who knows David would have done the same. Audrey says it was her, too. She supports Bill in this. Gail says they'd both better leave. "I don't want you here pretending to be concerned for me when all the time you're going behind my back trying to get David into serious trouble with the police." They ask David what the police said. "I'm sorry for wasting your time, Mr Platt, and can we give you a lift anywhere," he tells them. Audrey and Bill leave.

Fiz bangs on a window. Kirk's? The police come past and stop outside the Platt's. Tina answers the door and the detectives explain (well, the woman seems to be the only person who ever speaks) that David's gone to see his mum, but it's Tina they've come to see.

Fiz finds Kirk in the Rovers and says she's just been to see Chesney. Kirk says it's a nice place. He'd be surprised if Ches wanted to come home. Fiz says he does want to come home and they're going to make it happen. "What? Spring him?" asks Kirk. Kelly sits with Leanne and the bookies, pleased not to be alone at Easter. Becky and Roy have arrived. He asks if she wants to move back into the flat, with her own room and privacy and a proper rent book to avoid any misunderstanding. Becky teases him, saying he says that now but it'll be a different story when he gets her up there with the door closed and lights out. A flustered Roy says it was a mistake. He didn't realise how it might be interpreted.

David rings Tina to tell her where he is and hears that the police are there now. He says he'll be home as soon as he can. Gail asks if everything's OK and he tells her it's just that Tina's cooked him a meal and he should get home.

Becky tells Roy she'd love to move in if the offer's still open. It is. She plans to show everyone the rent book to prove it's all above board, "because you know what a dirty-minded lot they are around here." Roy seems to regret the offer once more! Sean still doesn't understand how Liz could have agreed to Vernon taking on these builders. Vernon says Liz trusts him and recognises a brilliant idea. Sean asks if Steve's agreed, but Vernon tells him it's his project and he'll be instructing his builders at the Flat Cap Club later. Yes, these aren't just builders, they're musicians/builders. Dan comes back to the table from the loo and discovers Leanne's gone.

He catches up with her in the street and asks her out for a meal. He says he won't expect anything from it. She agrees. Paul, meanwhile, watches from an upstairs window at No 9. The detectives drive away and David, who seems to have been waiting for them to go, races down to his home.

Inside, Tina's wandering around looking worried. She seems very down. David asks what she told the police. She says they asked if David was really with her. "I told ‘em . . . yeah, you were, and that's what I'll be telling everybody else, and it's even what I'll be saying in court if I have to." David thanks her and hugs and kisses her.

The End

Margaret Carr

Sorry this is a bit late, I was on holidays and had no computer access for awhile when I got back. It's still on the blink but i've cobbled this together and typed it up from work. Shhhhh....

Harry takes the mick out of Dan for waking up alone. Losing your touch? he teases. Dan insists he's taking things slowly. "She's not that kind of girl" (Oh yes she is, mate!) That kind of girl is also getting the third degree from her mother about her and Dan's intentions. Leave it out Janice, But Janice spies an intimate text message and knows where there's smoke, there's going to be fire. (er.... quite literally, I believe!)

Gail is finding it frustrating, sitting in hospital and trying to remember what happened. She snaps at the nurse who's only trying to encourage her to eat (have you had hospital food lately? It's not really worth remembering, if you ask me!) The nurse assures her that her memory will return eventually.

At home, David seems to be ill. He's up early and has cleaned up the house. Tina catches him still in his marigolds and figures all this upright citizenship isn't going to help in the long run. Is he genuinely feeling guilty and just wanting to make it up to Gail by taking care of her or is he just trying not to get caught? What do you think?

Leanne and Paul are on their way to the restaurant. Leanne's got a face like a wet weekend at the prospect of "another day, another no money". Dan tries to cheer her up which doesn't work and he asks Paul how he puts up with her. A clearly besotted Paul says she's got her good points. Paul goes on ahead while Leanne stops to chat to Dan for a few minutes. Dan spots the crush that Paul has but Leanne insists it's just a friendship and working relationship but she needs to keep Paul sweet at the moment. Dan tries flirting again but Leanne turns her shoulder and walks away, much to Harry's amusement.

Fiz has an appointment with a Social worker to see what they can do to get Chesney back. Kirk is hoping to have his roomie back today but Fiz isn't sure what's going to happen just yet. Wish me luck, she sighs. Kirk is ever the optimist and hugs Schmeichel. He just knows everything is going to be ok! (Kirk, not Schmeichel, though he probably has that doggy optimism too!) At the foster home, Fiz and the social worker arrive to see Chesney. Chesney latches onto his big sister, but then, embarrassed at his show of affection, pleads to her not to tell anyone. It's like that when you're a teenage lad, isn't it! Apparently he's being fed well and well taken care of at least. He's enjoying the good food and care but still wants to be back in his normal routine and home with his mates and his dog. Fiz promises she'll make it happen.

Becky jumps into Roy's flat with both feet, so excited to have a nice place to live. She brings her gear over on her lunch break. Roy is surprised she has so few possessions. Becky teases Roy in front of the customers about moving in and yes, she's sleeping in the spare room, nudge, nudge, causing Roy to go an alarming shade of red. Becky promises Roy that they'll have such a laugh. Roy is probably wondering what he's got himself into.

Audrey is going to visit Gail. Bill isn't sure Gail is going to be happy to see her after she and Bill have more or less accused David of being behind her accident. Audrey doesn't care if Gail is angry, Gail still needs her mum and she's going to be there for her, like it or not.

At the restaurant, Paul tries to find out what's going on between Leanne and Dan but they're interrupted by Amber. She's knocked over some wine and that leads Leanne to come up one side of her and down another. Paul soothes things over but because he's given the customers another bottle on the house, she lights into him as well for giving away profits when there are precious few of them.

The social worker tells Fiz that she's been in touch with Cilla and Cilla has agreed to let Fiz have guardianship. "Bet that was a short phone call" snorts Fiz. Fiz assures that she's up to the job of parenting Chez and is told that, all going well, Chez might be home later in the day. Bits crossed, then, eh? Fiz promises never to let Chesney down.

Gail is cool to Audrey and tells her firmly that until she remembers what happens, Audrey is to keep her opinions to herself. You've been told, Audrey!

Chesney is told that he will be able to go home but Fiz's flat has to be checked out first. Chez is dismayed as he thought he was going home to Number 5 with Kirk and Schmeichel. Looks like there's a bit more detail to work out. Chez and Fiz negotiate and he suggests she move in with him and Kirk. She's dubious, unsure she could live in the same house with Kirk, even if they're friends because she knows Kirk still has hopes they'd get back together. Fiz just can't say no to her little brother though, and tells the Social worker that she's going to move into the house.

Leanne closes the empty restaurant early. Dan drops by (does he never work?). Apparently the restaurant is meant to be open 7 days a week from 12:30 to 3:00. (No wonder it isn't making any money? I thought it opened at night too?) Dan insists on keeping Leanne company and leads her back into the restaurant and locks the door behind them so they aren't interrupted. (Chance would be a fine thing, anyway, seeing as customers seem to be avoiding the place these days)

Tina tells David they have to go see Gail. If they don't, it will seem like they're proving Audrey right. She thinks David could still tell the truth but he figures the police won't see it as an accident and isn't going to break the seal.

Dan and Leanne chat. She tells him that she bought the restaurant in a bid to be respectable after what she'd been doing before that. She can't sell because she'd take a loss, worse than trying to run it and then she'd have nothing. He jokes that she could always burn it. She wryly says "don't give me any ideas".

In the pub, Bill announces he's going to try for a contract to work on the new flats. Norris pooh poohs the idea. The new flats are going to destroy the neighbourhood, he figures. (oh I don't know. They do seem a bit out of place, granted, but hardly neighbourhood destroying. But that's Norris for you.) Steve points them in Tony's direction. That's yer main investor, mate.

A seed has been planted in the back of Leanne's mind and it's clearly germinating. Dan realizes she's taking his joke seriously and is aghast. (Though I don't know why. He's never proven himself to be a strict letter-of-the-law kind of guy in the past.) He's horrified when she lights a match and sets a glass of alcohol on fire and knocks it over. The tablecloth bursts into flames and he pours a jug of water over it hastily to douse the fire. Just what kind of woman has he got himself involved with!

Tvor

Fizz is moving bags over to Kirk's place. While she knocks on the door, Claire comes over to ask how Chesney is and apologises for what's happened. When she realises that Fizz is moving back in with Kirk and Chesney she exclaims, "Oh, that's lovely! All back together again, eh? You must be dead excited!" While Fizz is not rude to Claire, Claire can she's not impressed with her. Claire shuffles off as Kirk answers the door. Fizz announces she's moving back in. Kirk's eyes light up but Fizz tells him not to get any ideas, it's all just for Chesney. She runs off to grab more stuff as Kirk, perfectly happy with the new situation, says, "Result!"

At Leanne's restaurant, Paul comes in to find Leanne cleaning up after her little accident. He warns her to be careful. What with pans of hot fat and candles it wouldn't take much for the whole place to catch fire, he tells her, and then her "pride and joy's suddenly a hole in the ground." She thanks him for the tip.

Blanche is having her hair done in the Salon. Fizz barges in to tell Audrey that she's sorry to leave Audrey in the lurch but that she needs to move out of the flat- today. When Audrey is surprised that Fizz is moving back in with Kirk, Fizz reassures her she'll be putting down some really strict ground rules. Audrey accepts the situation graciously and mentions she'll need to look for new tenants. Blanche tells Fizz that she thinks what Fizz is doing is admirable. Fizz tells her she'll drop the keys off at the end of the day and that she'll pay her 'til the end of the month. Audrey tells her to forget it and to come to her if there's anything Fizz wants.

Dev is walking an embarrassed Amber to work who is protesting with every step of the street. He asks her why she wants to be a waitress in the restaurant. "Don't I give you everything you want?" he asks her. "Barr my independence, yeah!" says Amber.

In Gail's hospital room, Gail is delighted to see Tina and David. Apparently she's on the mend. Tina gives her a bunch of flowers which are her "absolute favourites" and she sends David down to get a vase from the nurses station. With David gone, Tina asks if she knows when she can come home. Gail says not to mind about her- how is Tina feeling. Tina tells her that she's fine and David's fine and they both know that they couldn't be parents to a baby. Gail asks her if it was a shock for him to find out about the abortion from Audrey and if she's sure he didn't know about the abortion before the accident. Tina lies, "First thing he knew about it was when Audrey said...."

At Leanne's Restaurant, Amber and Dev arrive in time for Amber's shift. Leanne tells Dev she'll look after Amber. Dev indulges in a spot of further embarrassing his daughter, reminding her to tell him when she needs to be picked up. He tells Leanne he loves what she did to the place. When Dev is gone, Leanne asks Amber to finish setting everything up as she needs to pop out. Paul wants to know where she's off to but Leanne isn't telling- reminding him he's her business partner and nothing else.

Back in the hospital, Tina leaves David and Gail together. With Tina gone, Gail apologies to David about the pregnancy and everything. She's sorry for having kept it from him and tells him she thought they were doing the right thing. David interrupts her. He tells her that right now the only thing he cares about is Gail and her getting better.

At Kirk's Fizz and Kirk are cleaning up in anticipation of the social worker coming round. Kirk has found a bit of pepperoni pizza under his bed that he thought he'd forgotten. He asks Fizz what to expect from the social worker. Fizz tells him she'll probably ask some questions about Chesney's routine and things like that. Kirk says he probably shouldn't mention the pizza under the bed. They discuss the new sleeping arrangements. Kirk tells Fizz that since he's in Cilla's old room and Chesney is in the bunk room, Fizz can share with Kirk if she likes- "No funny business or anything!" Fizz informs him that he'll be bunking in with Chesney and she'll be having Cilla's old room. She tries to make Kirk understand that even though she's moving back in there's NO CHANCE that anything will change between them. The social worker arrives. Kirk is sent out the back with the bin bag and to put the kettle on while Fizz answers the door.

After the break, Fizz welcomes the social worker in. When Kirk comes in, Fizz notices that there are no biscuits. She asks Kirk where they are who tells her that Schmeichel just ate them. When Fizz apologises for their great dane who eats everything that's not nailed down, the social worker says not to mind, she's watching her figure anyway. "What for?" asks Kirk, amazed. "You've got a dead nice figure! Me Dad always says that women need a bit of..." Fizz interrupts him before he can go any further. She asks the social worker if there's anything else she needs to know. Kirk tells her clever Chesney is, "He's brilliant at school, you know. Ches, he knows everything- French, World War II, Egyptians..." When the social worker tells how Chesney talks a lot about Kirk, Kirk tells her, "He's me best mate." He's pleased to hear that Chesney thinks the same of thing. "At least I got one right," he says to Fizz, The social worker tells him that her visit is not about getting answers right, she just wants to be sure that Chesney will be cared for and happy. Kirk blurts out that Fizz and he used to go out together which the social worker assures Fizz, won't be a problem. The meeting ends on a high note as the social worker tells them it's clear that they both care a lot for Chesney and that they should be very hopeful for the right outcome. When the social worker is gone, Kirk puts his arm around Fizz and asks if she thinks Ches is coming home. When Fizz says she hopes so, he says, "One big happy family, eh?" Fizz nods but is uncomfortable with Kirk.

In the bookies, Blanche comes in to place a bet with Dan. Leanne comes in to have a quick word. Dan leaves Blanche in the capable hands of Harry. As Leanne and Dan go outside, Blanche alludes to Leanne's shady past as a prostitute. "Have you seen the film Pretty Woman? Well imagine it set in Manchester with a less attractive leading lady and you've got the picture." Seeing Harry still has no clue she asks, "have I got to spell it out for you?" Harry leans over the counter and says, "I think you better had, yeah!"

Gail's doctor at the hospital tells her she's on the mend and she could be home by the end of the week. She'll need a wheelchair for a bit but she should be OK with help. David tells the doctor he'll be looking after Gail at home. Gail asks about her memory. The doctor tells her she could regain it all or part. There's no way of telling. Gail thanks him and tells him that he and the nurses have been wonderful. "A credit to the NHS!" The doctor asks her to spread the word amongst her friends. Everyone is pleased at the news.

Leanne and Dan are in Dan's flat. They sit down with a glass of wine. Leanne tells Dan that she's still thinking about setting her restaurant on fire. Dan warns her that it's a big deal but Leanne is flippant and asks him if he never thinks of torching his place when things get rough. He says he doesn't but sometimes he thinks that of some of the punters and most days of his Dad. They indulge in a spot of afternoon delight. If you know what I mean. Nudge nudge. Wink wink. You do know what I mean, right?

At Roy's, Becky and Roy are closing up. Becky persuades Roy to join him in the Rovers for a drink, summat special to celebrate her moving in. A real drink. "Just tonight, " she pleads, "no doing books, no jigsaws, no nature documentaries. Let's you and me get bladdered." When Roy protests that he doesn't drink she tells him he can watch her get bladdered. Roy agrees to an hour in the Rovers. Becky is very excited at "cohabitating" with Roy.

At Dan's flat, Leanne and Dan are getting dressed. Dan makes a joke about Leanne bringing her petrol can to the restaurant and Leanne tells him not to joke. She warns him to keep everything she's said between the two of them. She wonders why it is that she's telling him everything after only knowing him for ten minutes. Dan assures her that what she's told him about the restaurant will go no further. Harry comes in and accuses Dan of "taking the proverbial" when he sees what Dan has been up to while he's been minding the shop.

At Kirk & Fizz's, it's gone 5 o'clock and they haven't heard anything. There's a knock at the door- Blanche- who wants to know if Chesney is back yet. In a very touching gesture, Blanche has bought Chesney a couple of magazines from the Kabin for his homecoming. Kirk takes them from Blanche and sits down to read them excitedly. Blanche tells Fizz that good paper boys (Chesney, I presume) are hard to come by before she heads off.

Dan and Leanne are leaving and Dan asks her, hypothetically, if she was serious about torching the restaurant, she wouldn't be stupid enough to do it herself, would she? She tells him she has someone in mind to do it for her. Dan hopes that she's not thinking that he'll do it for her but Leanne assures him it's not him. She tells Dan that she thinks she could persuade Paul, a lovesick runt, to set the place on fire for her. Dan doesn't think he'd do it. "Well, you're the bookie," says Leanne, "d'you want a bet?"

In the Rovers, Bill, Jason and Audrey are talking about Gail being pushed down the stairs. Jason protests his innocence again. Audrey tells him she knows he had nothing to do with it. Bill tells him that nobody thinks that. Bill excuses himself and asks to speak to Tony who has walked in to the pub with Carla. Bill asks Tony to put a good word in for him on the new building development. When Bill leaves, Carla tells Tony she's sick of hearing about these new flats. Tony tells her she won't be when she finds out how much he stands to make on the deal and what he intends to do with the money. He proposes that they move out to a mansion in Cheshire. Carla asks him if she looks like a footballer's wife. Errrr.... well..... Becky and Roy arrive at the bar. Becky is in a very celebratory mood and announces that she and Roy are cohabitating. When Steve and Lloyd's eyebrows raise, Roy explains that Becky is merely lodging at his place and tells Becky there is no need for innuendo. Roy orders an orange juice but Becky tries to persuade him to have, "just a pint, coz beer's not really alcohol." Surprisingly, or not, Roy is not swayed by her illogical argument and sticks to his order of orange juice while Becky orders herself a cider.

A familiar red head is knocking on Kirk & Fizz's front door. Chesney has returned home! Yay! There are lots of big smiles and hugs. Fizz warns Chesney that from now on "it's going to be 'omework done proply and washin' be'ind yer ears and everything." She thanks the social worker for everything she's done. Maria comes across them and greets the happy family. Chesney and Kirk make plans to play Xbox. The social worker leaves but not before telling Chesney to look after "this pair"- Kirk and Fizz. Chesney is reunited with Schmeichel. He tells Schmeichel he missed him and will never leave him again. In the doorway, Kirk says, "All back together again. Talk about a happy ending. I'm made up, me!" and gives Fizz a kiss on the cheek. Fizz stands wondering how on earth she's going to cope with Kirk.

Stella McLoughlin

Hi all here's the update for Wednesday 26th March.

We open to a shriek from a horrified Fiz as Kirk marches into her bedroom unannounced to bring her a cup of tea. Eventually she calms down and tells him to put the kettle on – to replace the tea she spilt.

Over in the cafe there are a lot of builders queuing for breakfast. Also standing in the queue is Ken when Jason comes in a joins him. Becky is trying to engage Roy in conversation but isn't having much success. She asks if he's sulking about what happened earlier (?) and tells him it was an accident, but he says he doesn't wish to discuss it. Seeing how busy they are, Ken offers to help out but Roy declines his offer. Just then Leanne and Janice come in and join the back of the queue. Janice tells Leanne how Roger has surprised her with the offer of a week in Formby. Leanne, however, seems to have other things on her mind, and then she moans at Roy about the length of the queue. Eventually Roy gives in and lets Ken help.

Fiz is on her way to work. She stops in the doorway and tells Kirk and Chesney that they need to keep the house tidy, the social worker could come round at any time. She meets up with Sean who is just taking his leave of Marcus, and they walk across to the factory together.

Gail is dozing in her hospital bed when David arrives, he's brought the post from home. He asks if she knows when she's coming home, and she tells him she'll know when the doctor comes round. "Shouldn't you be at work?" she asks him, but he tells her he's taken the day off to look after her. Gail remarks that maybe, with the way things are, a bit of space between him and Audrey may not be a bad idea.

In factory, the girls are discussing Janice's forthcoming trip to Formby. Then Sean says that Fiz and Kirk looked very cosy as she left the house earlier. "Fizzy Brown!" says Kelly, "is there something you're not telling us?" Fiz says it's no big secret, she's moved in with Chesney. They point out that Kirk is there as well. Fiz assures them all that it wouldn't have been her choice but it was the only way they could get Chesney out of care. Kelly says that she couldn't live with an ex, and Sean agrees. Wiki thinks that it could be possible to get on all right with an ex, but Janice says that's a bigger myth than global warming. Fiz repeats that she has moved in just to be responsible for Chesney, nothing more. Just then, who should arrive but Kirk! He's come to tell her he's going to cook tea for them all later and will have it ready for half past six, so they can sit down to eat it as a family. As she goes to sit down, Fiz announces that if anyone has any smart remarks she doesn't want to hear them!

Over at the cafe, the rush has died down, but as Ken takes off his apron, Roy asks if he'd consider working there for a few hours a day, and Ken says he will.

As Ken goes out, Lloyd and Claire come in and order coffees to go. Becky turns to Roy and says she knows he's still mad at her for what happened that morning. "What did happen?" asks Lloyd, and jokes about a marital tiff already. It seems that Becky walked in on Roy while he was in the shower. "I hate it when that happens," says Claire. Becky points out that she wasn't to know he was in there, the door wasn't bolted. Roy says that he and Hayley did not require a lock, they respected one another's ablutions. "Did you see his crown jewels and everything?" sniggers Lloyd, and tells Roy she makes a habit of it, she once walked in on him when he was naked. "Oh, so I did!" says Becky, "and from what I remember, Roy's twice the man you are!"

Jason tells Bill that he's got a big black cloud hanging over his head. Bill says that Gail will get her memory back sooner or later and then he'll be off the hook and the police can pin it on David.

Leanne takes Dan for a quiet word, out of sight in the ginnel. She tells him that if she wants Paul to burn down the restaurant she's got to make him think they're an item, so she and Dan can't be seen together. He asks her if she's mad, she could get banged up for conspiracy. He says life will never be predictable with her. "I thought that's what turns you on!" she says, grinning.

Leanne arrives at the restaurant to find Paul out amongst the customers, their waiter's at the dentist. She then proceeds to ‘butter him up' – putting the first part of her plan into action, and agrees to go for a drink with him after work.

Nick delivers Ryan back home, and is met outside the pub by Michelle. He says very little about the holiday and walks inside. He passes Steve who asks how Cornwall was. "Ok, yeh," mutters Ryan as he walks on by.

Fiz comes into the pub and Claire jumps up and offers to pay for her drink. She also offers to babysit any time if needed. Fiz tells her that after everything that's happened it wouldn't be right.

Audrey arrives to see Gail, and is told she could be discharged on Friday. Audrey says she'll make up the spare room but David says Gail will be going home with him and he'll look after her. Audrey thinks this is a ridiculous idea, but Gail says that it's right, she will be going home with David.

Fiz arrives home from work, and snatches her underwear out of Kirk's hands as he prepares to put them in the washing machine with his own. He then proudly shows her a cardboard box and opens it to reveal their tea – a pizza!

Ryan is having his evening meal with Michelle and Steve. When pressed to tell them more about Cornwall he tells them it was Cornwall, in March, not exactly Hawaii. He then goes out to get a Coke from the bar.

Kirk, Fiz and Chesney are watching tv – a car programme. When Kirk starts getting closer to her on the sofa, she then decides she can't watch that all evening (it's on until 10 pm) and goes off to the pub.

Up in Roy's flat, he's putting a lock on the bathroom door. Becky tells him he has to lighten up when he shares with someone. He says he prefers well defined ground rules.

Kelly and Wiki arrive in the pub and find Fiz by herself.

Harry is at the bar, and starts talking to Lloyd. He says he's trying to find out what he can about Leanne, and asks if there's anything Lloyd can tell him. Lloyd walks off in disgust.

Just then, Leanne and Paul walk into the pub, and Dan walk over and asks Leanne if he can buy her a drink. She slaps his face and tells him to leave her alone, and then asks Paul to take her somewhere else. As they walk out, Harry turns to Dan and says he's now really confused. "Just leave it will you Dad," snaps Dan and walks out too.

Back in the flat, music is coming from the bathroom when Roy goes and taps on the door. He tells Becky that he needs to use the facilities, but she tells him she's shaving her legs and is going to be at least another half hour!

In the pub, Marcus and Sean are discussing Fiz's situation when Maria comes in. Liam has gone out for the evening on business and she got bored at home with just Ozzy for company.

Kelly and Wiki go off to get a kebab, leaving Fiz drinking on her own. Maria joins her and asks her what's wrong. She tells her how Kirk has been annoying her all day, from first thing this morning to when she got home and found him with her underwear. "You wouldn't like it if you found Tyrone pawing through your knicker drawer!" she says, as Maria laughs. Then she says that Kirk will have to leave, or she'll end up killing him!

Anne Logan.

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Updates written by K Updates written by K Richard Whitbread, Martin Rosen, Ann Logan, Margaret Carr, Stella McLoughlin, Tvor, Erica Houston.

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