2008

Monday 1 September

Jerry's lying in what looks like intensive care post-operation. He's breathing through a tube, he's got monitors and all sorts attached. He's very, very still. Teresa is sitting beside him like a faithful dog (there's a joke in there but I'll refrain). Her guilt is spilling out all over her face as she softly talks to him and promising to make it up to him. Mel arrives. She's let the kids stay home from school and they're under Darryl's care at the moment. Mel awkwardly tries to apologize for the row the other day because she feels like it's all her fault. Her mother assures her it's no-one's fault (h'yeah right) and she shouldn't look for anyone to blame. (because she knows where the blame lies, innit?) The operation went well, they are just going to worry until he wakes up. Mel says there's a party the next night to celebrate the new police women graduates though at this moment, I'm sure Mel doesn't expect to be joining in. Teresa assures her daughter she *is* actually proud of her and is glad she's there.

Dev drives Nina's Jag up, with Nina in the passenger seat. (You realize they have to do that because the actress can't drive) Dev looks perturbed. He slams out of the car, strides around and gives lip service to opening the door for her. Nine gets out of the car imperiously and witters on about how English caffs do such a good job with the Great British Breakfast. She slinks toward him, asking when they will meet tonight. He puts her off but she will not take no for an answer. He's her number one fan and she want's to have some..."what shall we call it? Fun?" She's very patronizing, isn't she? He protests but she talks him around. With a quick kiss, she makes a date for 8 o'clock. His place.

In Underworld, the girls are watching some workmen around the factory, with not very favourable reviews. Sean is stuffing custard creams into his face in an attempt at consoling himself. They all assure him that he and Marcus will make it up. Except Janice. Of course she's always going to be the one that sticks the knife in, reckoning Marcus has high-tailed it back to London. Julie has taken over looking after the staff lottery and reckons Sean just needs to make Marcus realize what he's missing, having a laugh with all their friends.

David and Tina discuss Jerry's health with Gail. Tina reckons they could be keeping him sedated so he can heal. David actually seems concerned (about someone that isn't him!) Gail asks if Tina is going to move back in but she thinks things are good the way they are for now, her at her Dad's and them alternating nights in at each house. Gail is fine with whatever they decide.

The surgeon thinks it's possible that Jerry was overdoing the medication. Darryl arrives with Kayleigh and Finlay (Are they allowed to have that many people in the room?). Jerry starts to thrash about just a bit and the doctor says he's trying to wake up. The little ones are a bit startled as are some of the others. The doctor shoos them all outside.

Dev brings in an armload of stock to the shop and hollers at Amber, wondering why she's not at school. She tells him (for the 20th time from the sounds of it) that she only has to go in when she's got a lesson now she's in sixth form. He allows that he had a nice weekend and starts getting irritated, loudly, when neither Molly nor Amber move to help him yet pepper him with questions about his weekend. He perpetuates the lie about it being a golf weekend with the lads even if some women tagged along and no it's none of your business if he had a woman partner which he didn't!!! Amber and Molly exchange looks and Dev hollers some more, going back outside to get more stock. Without help.

At the hospital, Mel remarks that maybe now her father will be more careful about his pills. This, of course, touches a very raw nerve with she whose red hair clashes horribly with her fuschia pink top. The doctor comes out and tells them they can go in but not to worry if he's still woozy. She assures the little ones he's not dying if she can help it. Teresa stays outside until last, shores up her nerves and enters the room too.

Dev is on the phone in the office where it's obvious that someone's plans are being changed. Ken is in the shop looking for biscuits and asking questions that the girls would rather not answer, as they are trying to earwig. He admits to them that his appointment has been changed. Ken makes a remark about his being at leisure (retired) isn't all it's cracked up to be. This will segue quite nicely into something else later on.

We are back at Jerry's bedside. Everyone is watching as Jerry is finally waking up, mithering the kids why they aren't in school. A nurse enters and leaves again to get the doctor now he seems properly awake and nagging the kids. Teresa told him he fell and he's quite glad to see everyone there. Darryl informs him that Teresa stayed there all night. This goes down well and he takes her hand. Doctor returns and Teresa can't take the gratitude any more. She says she's bursting and leaves but what she's really doing is legging it out the hospital and hailing a cab. Darryl tells Jerry that he's had an op for a bleeding brain. Jerry asks groggily, Did they find one?

Sean is reading a soppy poem that he's going to send Marcus by text. Vicky and Julie figure it will indeed make Marcus laugh (but probably it isn't meant to!) Before he can send it, Georgeous calls and it's Marcus. He tells Sean he is indeed in London. Sean tries to pretend it's perfectly ok with him but when he finds out Marcus is staying with Noel, he gets stroppy again and hangs up on Marcus. With a sigh.

The doctor is questioning Jerry, what season is it? How long were you married (Three idyllic years... and 20 rough ones, which explains the divorce) The doctor figures he has no more brain damage now than before the op. She's going off to wait for his tests and then they'll figure out what's next. Jerry asks where Teresa is. They realize she's been gone too long to be in the loo or having a fag break.

Where she is, is home raiding the piggy bank and sobbing at her desparation. She puts the coins back on the table and calls to see where the cab is.

Ken is in the cafe. Roy is vexed at Vernon who has disappeared again. Vernon, it seems, is burning with inspiration and is in a firestorm of songwriting, leaving Roy firmly in the lurch. Ken starts to clear tables to help out and Roy ends up offering Ken his job back. It was a wonderful little scene, having Roy bantering on about Vernon's heart break keeping him from his job and then offering Ken his back. "I'm out of kilter with some aspects of modern life, Ken" "Nooooooo really????" "Well just a little." and.."Are you feeling semi-detached from the cameraderie of the workplace?" Brilliant stuff from the pen of Jane Hollinson.

Lloyd and Dev are sharing women woes over a drink in the bar. Dev is feeling used. Lloyd assures him this is typical female behaviour. Dev feels used and Lloyd thinks he should end the relationship. Take control. This appeals to Dev's macho side. He brags that he's going to take back control, just as the object of his control walks in and reduces him to jelly. He introduces her to Lloyd as Mrs... She calls him Floyd and Dev shores up his nerve again and wants to sit down so they can talk. But she reveals that Prem is with her, just taking a call outside the car and the opportunity is lost. Out of Dev's control. He insists, in hushed tones, that he's not her plaything. She completely dismisses him as a drama queen. (couldn't you just smack her?) He buys drinks for the three of them.

Across the road Teresa is still waiting for the cab when her phone rings. It's Mel looking for her. She says she's in the smokers' pit but that's exactly where Mel is. Anyway, Mel says her father is asking for her. Mel seems to have an inkling that Teresa is about to do a bunk and implores her not to go if that's what she's thinking about doing. Dad needs her and so do they, her children. The cab is coming round the corner and Teresa says she'll be there in 20 minutes.

Gail comes into the kebab shop and lets Tina know that Jerry's regained consciousness. Tina makes sure Gail knows that she was happy at Gail's but she wants to spend time with her Dad. She also reckons her dad has a new girlfriend and she's not really optimistic as she's never liked any of his other ones and was more or less the cause of them all splitting up. Gail is taken aback and calls Joe straight away when she exits the shop. They need to talk.

Back at the hospital, Teresa is slowly and reluctantly walking towards Jerry's room. She hesitates, takes a deep breath and enters. He's all on his own at the moment and sits down. She's going to tell him something. He thinks it's bad news from the doctor but she says it's not that. She starts, describing how he was feeling weak and fell and .. yes, he interrupts, what about it?

But then the show ends and we have to wait for a half hour to find out if Mother Teresa is really going to confess her sins to Father Jerry. ;)

Tvor

Back at the hospital, Teresa is trying to tell Jerry the awful truth- that she had been purposely overdosing him with his medication and that's why he's in hospital now- when a doctor comes in and interrupts them. Jerry tells the doctor he can't understand where they went wrong with his medication but the doc tells him it's not an uncommon problem. She doesn't seem to think that Jerry nearly dying is anything to be overly worried about. Teresa tells Jerry, "It's my fault!" but Jerry doesn't quite understand what she's saying. He sends her out of the hosp for a fag break.

At Roy's cafe, Vernon arrives 23 minutes late for his shift and Roy tells him Ken had to fill in for him. Vernon's not much bothered and explains he was lost in his music. He talks to Sean who is fretting over his phone and Marcus. He tells Sean about how he's working on quite a few songs lately, one of which is called, Slip slipping away, dot dot dot. Roy interrupts him and hands him a spray bottle and cloth. Instead of cleaning, Vernon uses Roy's words to write some more lyrics. Roy is exasperated.

At the hospital, Teresa is smoking outside where Mel finds her and tells her Darrell is taking Jerry some sweets. Mel takes the opportunity to apologise to her mother for thinking that Teresa had legged it earlier and feeling as though she was going to end up like "our Jodie, bye bye career, bye bye life...." Teresa reminds her that motherhood doesn't have to be like that, it's just the way "they've" painted it. True that.

In the Rovers, Dev (who my 11 year old son referred to as "that Indian guy who likes playing golf") is drinking with his new bestie, Prem and his new squeeze, Nina. Nina interrupts annoyingly as Prem asks Dev if he will chair the Manchester Asian Business Network. When Dev, flattered, asks how the other members will take his appointment, Nina tells him, "They'll be however Prem tells them to be!" and it's sorted. Dev agrees and is dead chuffed. Nina gives Dev a smouldering look over the table.

Teresa approaches Jerry's sick bed again. She gives sleeping Jerry a kiss and then overhears Jerry's doctor talking to one of the nurses about Jerry's case, "You'll have to follow this up with his GP see where the discrepancy lies. I don't think Mr Morton has been popping them like sweets, so worth a phone call." Teresa looks worried.

Joe arrives at Gail's door. There's some banter as to whether or not the coast is clear. "Will the coast ever be clear again?" Gail wonders and lets him in.

Back at the hospital, Jerry is waking up. Jerry tells Teresa he doesn't know what he'd do without her. Just as Jerry tries to tell Teresa that he thinks they could try and reconcile and make their marriage work, Teresa blurts out, "I've been giving you too many blood thinners." She pleads with him to listen to her. Once she has got his attention she tells him, "It wasn't a mistake. I did it on purpose." Jerry finally sees that he's in hospital because of her.

After the commercial break and back at the hospital with Jerry and Teresa. Jerry can't believe that while he was laying there he was hoping that he and Teresa might have another chance, what with how amazing Teresa had been to him, but the whole time she was trying to kill him. Teresa frantically tries to justify her actions telling her how she was trying to stop Mel walking all over him etc Jerry can see right through her. "You tried to kill me to keep a roof over your head!" he exclaims. Teresa swears she was only trying to keep him dependent on her, not trying to kill him. "You've got nothing to swear on. Nothing sacred, no values, no conscience. You've got a swinging brick in there," says Jerry, referring to her heart. Teresa tells him how she liked being a mum and how she loves their kids. She asks Jerry what he's going to do but Jerry tells her to get out. Teresa leaves, telling the nurse she be back later.

At Gail's, Joe and Gail are discussing their covert relationship. Gail is still humming and hawing about whether or not they should be going together in the face of David and Tina's relationship. Personally, I'd find it all a bit creepy. Joe says, "Cheer up, they've got their relationship and, conducted by torchlight in a Siberian forest, we've got ours. Haven't we?"

In the Rovers, Vernon and Lloyd are going over Vernon's lyrics. Lloyd seems quite impressed with some of them. As they are talking drivel, Liz walks past and Vernon looks wistfully at her. Lloyd tells Liz that she is Vernon's muse. Vernon asks Liz when her break is so that he can sing one of his news songs to her. Reluctantly, Liz makes a date with Vernon at ten to seven, in the back.

Teresa tries to go in to see Jerry in his sick bed again. Jerry simply looks away. Teresa thinks better of going in his room.

Gail and Joe are still discussing their relationship in Gail's front room. It seems Gail has dumped Joe. Joe is not happy and can't see the sense in her decision but Gail explains how she put David through hell with her last two relationships and while Martin is only 30 miles up the road, she feels like a single parent. Oh hurrah! Some mention of Martin, the dead-beat Dad! Joe accuses Gail of punishing herself and tells her to stop. She tells him Tina is the best thing that ever happened to David and she doesn't want to jeopardise that. She asks Joe not to be cross with her but Joe says he's just going to give her some time to think, "to pine, hopefully..." and he goes in for a big snog. Yuck! They come up for air. "This feels pretty special to me," he tells her, "Tina and David don't have the monopoly on happiness. If you stick with me, you might... cop for a top-of-the-range kitchen. Umbrian marble worktop, shaker-style cupboards. Where function and durability meet rustic charm." Awww, so I might not want to see them snogging but if they can be funny, I might not mind Gail and Joe together at all. Anyway, Joe challenges Gail to miss him while he is gone in Berwick for a work thing and leaves. Ooh, Gail is all in a quandary.

In the living room at the Rovers, Vernon tells Liz that the song he wants to sing her is called, "Don't Fall Into The Mason's Arms". Liz tells Vernon that she is not seeing Harry Mason. Vernon reminds Liz that he cast a long shadow like Camilla Parker-Bowles. Which would make Vernon Princess Di. "An' who am I?" asks Liz, "Prince flamin' Charles?" Liz urges Vernon to get on with the song. He sings earnestly, "When you said I do, I guess your heart wasn't in it...... but there's danger at that bar flap, you know I mean the tall chap...... Give that sharp suit a miss, hear the beat of my drum..... I'm beggin' and a-pleadin', don't fall into the mason's arms....." while Liz can hardly believe what she's hearing.

At Dev's new luxury flat, he leaves the door open for his new luuuuurve, Nina. Dev pours some wine and thanks her for coming. Nina tells him that he sounded so stern on the phone. They discuss their relationship and what they're doing to Prem. Nina tells Dev that he's just feeling guilty because Prem made him chair of the business association. Dev tries to break up with Nina, telling her that they're skating on thin ice. Nina says she likes things just the way they are and threatens him, "If you were to cast me aside, I'm not sure I could mask my disappointment. I don't think I could countenance you in our lives in any shape of form. No chairmanships, no teeing off, no nothing." Dev can see he's being blackmailed but Nina winds him round his little finger, "I'm urging you, as your Goddess- your word, remember?- to have a rethink." She makes a date with hopeless Dev for Friday afternoon where they can make up properly after this, their first argument.

Teresa tries again to talk to Jerry. Jerry has her number, he knows that she was poisoning him through all the food that she was cooking him. She tearfully tries to tell him she thought that she wouldn't do any real harm but Jerry tells her just what she's done to him. "I felt exhausted, and useless, and depressed and paranoid. Like I was about to keel over," he clicks his fingers, "Hey presto!" Teresa sobs. She's sorry and she loved being with him, like back in the early days when they used to wind each other up. "Oh yeah!" says Jerry, "How I laughed when they were drilling a hole in me skull. When they put the catheter in. And then I watched my children in bits!" Teresa pleads with him and tells him she loves him but asks him not tell the children. Jerry threatens her that she needn't worry about him telling the children, he'll be telling the police. He shouts for the nurse who comes in, concerned. Teresa in is floods of tears as Jerry asks the nurse, "Can you tell this woman that visiting hours are over?" Teresa has no choice but to leave.

Stella McLoughlin


Wednesday 3 September

Darryl goes to see Jerry in hospital and asks what's gone on between him and his mother, she didn't come home last night. Jerry just tells him they've had a bit of a fall out, but won't tell him any more than that, except to say that he never wants to see her again as long as he lives.

At Underworld, Sean tells his fellow workers he can't focus today, he's so annoyed with Marcus who has been staying with his ex down in London. Julie advises him to ditch Marcus if he's messing Sean around, and recounts an experience with one of her exes. "And now, a few relationships and a dodgy marriage later, I'm with one of life's good guys!" she says. "Kirk?" queries Kelly.

Maria goes home to find Liam on the phone. When he's finished his call they start stripping off - she's got a fifteen minute break and they're keen to make a baby. Just then Tom comes in. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" he asks. "Oh no, we always hang around the house like this," they tell him. He's excited to tell them he's just got off the phone to a big company in the States, "All American Booty" and they could have a massive deal with them. Maria rushes off back to work, telling Liam she's got another break later. "This better be good," says Liam.

Over at the Morton's, Mel is dishing up tea to the children when Darryl comes back. He asks if his mother's shown up, but she hasn't.

In the Kabin, Norris is still fretting over what was in the sealed envelope he found in Emily's drawer, when Emily comes in. He hastily pretends to be talking about something else, and she tells him she's going out that evening and he'll have to get his own tea. "Don't wait up," she says as she goes out of the door. Norris tells Rita he's convinced that means she wants him to go snooping again!

Tyrone tells Pam that the garage is barely making ends meet, so he'll never have enough money to give Molly the wedding she deserves. She tells him she's on it - she's texting someone who will make them very, very rich.

In the Street outside the cafe, there's a boy kicking a ball about, Roy opens the door and is startled to see a car coming, he shouts out and the boy jumps out of the way. Roy then remarks to him that playing in the road is not the safest thing to do, when his young mother comes up shouting at him to keep away from her son. Just then Becky approaches and shouts at the mother, telling her if she can't keep her kids under control she shouldn't have any.

Gail visits Jerry with a bunch of grapes, saying she won't stop long as she's sure Teresa will be in soon. Jerry tells her she won't be coming back, she's poison and they're finished.

Tom tells Liam they need 50,000 pounds in their bank account by Monday or the deal with American Booty is off. Liam says he can't help, Maria would kill him, and anyway, he's not the only director of their company. Tom says he'll try and find the money. "How?" asks Liam. Tom says he doesn't know, he'll get his thinking cap on.

Mel goes to see her father, she's all dressed up as she's going out to celebrate finishing her training. She tries to get the truth out of her father as to what happened with her mother, but he won't be drawn. "Just keep that bitch away from our house and my kids," he says.

We then see Mel and her friend Abbie in a bar, celebrating the end of training.

Back in the Rovers, Sean and the factory girls are enjoying a drink with Tom. Sean suggests they go on somewhere else. "Let's hit town!" squeals Kelly, but she's drunk, so Julie tells her the only thing she'll be hitting is the floor. Julie then gets up to go to the ladies when she trips and goes smack down on the floor! Tom says he'd like to go on somewhere else and asks where Sean has in mind. They all then say they can't afford to go clubbing so Tom invites them back to Liam's house. He sits down next to Sean and Wiki comments that they make a lovely couple. "We do, don't we!" jokes Tom, putting his arm round Sean's shoulders.

Norris is leaving the Kabin quite late after helping Rita with her VAT. She suddenly notices the envelope that Norris found in Emily's bin and then realises that he's going to switch it with the real sealed envelope that is still in Emily's drawer, so he can find out what's in it. She's cross with him and tells him it'll all end in tears.

Tom, Sean and the girls arrive back at Liam's house, in party mood. Julie puts the juke box on and starts dancing. Just then Liam and Maria come downstairs in their nightwear asking what's going on. They then join the party!

Pam takes a novelty singing fish into the pub to find Tyrone. "We're going to make a killing!" she exclaims, and turns it on to show him. Their faces fall, the fish is singing in Japanese!

Mel and Abbie come out of the bar and see a fight develop with a bunch of girls. Mel is all for wading in but Abbie tells her to remember her training - report the fight but stay out of it. She pulls out her mobile phone but while she's making the call Mel rushes past her and dives into the middle of the fracas. They get Mel on the floor so Abbie then rushes in to help, only to be hit on the head with a bottle. She collapses, unconscious to the ground as the girls run off, leaving Mel crouching by her friend.

Tom and Sean are in the back yard, enjoying a cigarette - except Sean takes a drag and coughs, he doesn't even smoke. He asks Tom if he's seeing anyone, but Tom tells him no one will have him, he's a nightmare. He asks how Sean's relationship is going, and Sean says they're coming to the end of the line. Tom says he hates relationships, with all the jealousy and paranoia, he's more of a free spirit. They share a joke and giggle a little, and then Sean turns to Tom and asks if he'd mind if he kissed him. "I'd rather you didn't," says Tom. "Sorry mate, you're not my type," he says. "So you are gay then?" says Sean. "Sean! You've got a boyfriend and we are drunk," says Tom. Sean says that no one needs to know, and lurches towards him. Tom pushes him away. "Straight?" asks Sean, and Tom says, "Yes." "Coward!" says Sean and marches indoors. Tom follows him saying he's not a coward, he's straight. Sean doesn't believe he's being honest with himself and they shout at each other and Sean slams out of the front door and into his own. Tom follows him and is shouting through the letterbox when Kelly comes out and asks if he'd like to see her tattoos. They go off together.

Abbie is rushed into hospital on a trolley, followed by a worried Mel. She's told to wait so she rushes off through the hospital to find her father. She cuddles up to him, crying.

Anne Logan.


Friday 5 September

It's morning and Becky and Jason are teasing Sean about making a move on the postie, or perhaps on Darryl across the road, or Scottish Tony. Up the street, Sean meets Tom and apologises. Tom's lovely about it and tells him to forget it. Liam and Maria tell him they'll be making babies at dinner time.

Vernon's writing a song. Unfortunately, he's supposed to be clearing tables. Ken comes in ready for work, so Roy suggests it's time for Vernon to hang up his apron. Vernon is quite happy. His songwriting is more important, but he offers to see out the day. Ken serves a rather abrupt man who sits with his pal at a table, demanding table service.

Mel goes to visit Abbie in hospital. Abbie has a detached retina. Mel can't understand why she got off so lightly when she was the stupid one. Abbie says it was just a bad call.

The grumpy guys have been nursing their cups of tea for more than an hour. Roy suggests they converse outside. "Just do one, will ya!" spits one. Auntie Pam comes in to see Vernon and do a bit of business, but he makes gestures towards Roy and she gets the message to be more discreet. The grumpy guys are getting bolshie. Dev, sitting nearby, suggests he might call the police and they get up and leave, but not before calling Roy a little runt.

Outside, the two guys leave, talking indignantly about being asked to go, and we see that they are under police surveillance. Well, two men in a car are taking pictures of them and wondering whether the bolshie ones have a supplier in the cafe.

At the dining table, Norris is having trouble turning off his new phone's new ringtone. Emily doesn't know why he bought it in the first place, but Norris says he likes to move with the times. He says she might be grateful for it one day, if she falls down the stairs while their land line's out of order. And if all the neighbours were out and he couldn't knock on anyone's door, she points out. She mentions that Rita's phone can take pictures. Can Norris's? Suddenly he doesn't want to talk because he's concentrating (This is a bit silly. In my experience you have to try really, really hard to buy a mobile phone without a camera these days!). He says he's choosing a ringtone and wants to get it just right, like a signature tune. Emily doesn't think Wagner is quite right. Norris was toying with the Nimrod theme from Elgar's Enigma Variations, but thinks it's a bit on the quiet side. Emily suggests Tchaikovsky. The new curate has the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy on his! Emily goes off to the church fete and Norris scurries upstairs.

Roy, Ken and Vernon are talking about the lack of civilised young people these days. A phone rings and they realise one of the bolshie pair has left his phone. "Rude and careless," mutters Ken. "What a winning combination." Roy tries to answer the phone but the caller disconnects. Twice. Vernon says the phone is a tasty bit of kit. Roy suggests returning the phone to the man. The call could be an emergency. Plus it would demonstrate that one doesn't have to go through life being so rude and so selfish. The phone rings again and he goes outside to try to get a better signal. He's busy waving the phone around. Click. Click. Click. He's now under surveillance and on their camera. The watchers wonder whether he's the supplier for the other two who left earlier.

In the kebab shop, Amber questions Darryl about his dad. His younger brother and sister come in for their lunch because he didn't give them any dinner money. Their mother comes in and Darryl points out that she's banned from the house. She says she just came to see how her kids were.

Norris is going through the stuff from Emily's envelope. He finds some old pictures of Rita that Ernest took.

Tom kicks on the door until Liam opens it. He's not at all contrite at interrupting them and his arms are full of a large carton of clothing. He shows Liam a T-shirt and says they're flying off the shelves in the states. He plans to get the bank to lend him £50,000.

Roy's still trying to take a call on the phone. Becky's in having her lunch and Ken fills her in on the phone's history so far. She has a look and points out that the phone would be £200 in the shops. "Can I have it?" Roy doesn't think that would be appropriate. Becky says it probably belongs to some skanky drug dealer or pimp and suggests he throws it in a skip. Roy says that's the kind of reaction that encourages bad behaviour. Roy's found a family member listed in the phone's contacts. He goes outside to call this person. Becky tells Ken to watch Roy's back for her and to keep him from doing anything stupid. John Stape (I still feel compelled to write his whole name so you know who I'm talking about) comes in and Vernon tries to tempt him to some food, but it seems John's grandmother has died suddenly and he's a bit glum. Vernon gets him to hold the expression because "that's exactly the sense of melancholy I've been trying to capture this morning." Roy's back. He's been talking to the owner's Uncle Charlie (LOL!) and knows where to drop off the phone. He's going by bus, but Ken suggests driving him there.

Darryl goes home, closely followed by Amber, who's brought some flowers for Jerry. She's thinking of bunking off for the afternoon and hanging around with Darryl, maybe helping with the cleaning or something. Theresa arrives and tells her to leave. She's ignoring the ban.

Carla arrives in her convertible and admires Tom's suit. She says Tony's flown to Scotland to ask someone to be his best man. They've set a date for the end of October and she's off to spend up large on Tony's credit card.

Liam, Maria and Tom go into the pub, giving the factory crew another chance to tease Sean about his poorly judged move on Tom. Marcus arrives unexpectedly and apologises for storming off. Sean's a bit sarcastic about Marcus staying with his ex. Marcus tells him to grow up and goes to drink at the bar. When Jason comes in, Becky greets him with joy - he's the only smiling face in there. "Look at this lot - Foggy, Compo and Clegg," she says, pointing at Norris, Marcus and Tyrone. Tyrone tells Jason he's looking for other jobs but there's nothing in the Gazette. He says he might have to do a Leanne Battersby and sell his body. "Yeah, but what would you do with £1.50?" asks Becky. She points out that there's money to be made by offering to be a guinea pig for medical research. Norris agrees. Clinical drugs trials can be very lucrative. He points out there was a story in the Gazette about it.

Ken and Roy arrive at the rendezvous, a run-down part of town. The police watch as Roy arrives and hands over the phone outside a pub. The two guys are still really rude. Ken walks up to make sure Roy's OK. Roy wants them to say thanks, but they hand over money. The police leap out of their car and rush over. The bad guys escape, but Roy and Ken don't even run and are arrested. Roy says the police have made a terrible mistake. "Tell them, Ken. Tell them."

In the pub, Maria tells Marcus that she's sure Sean didn't mean to make a move on Tom. He was just drunk. Stupid woman. Marcus has no idea what she's talking about. Sean chooses that moment to buy Tom a drink for being so understanding. When Tom puts his hand on Sean's shoulder, Marcus leaps up and lams Tom. "You want him, you can flaming well have him," he shouts.

The end of the first episode for tonight.
Margaret Carr

Well what a surprise. Ken and Roy are drug dealers, I did not see that coming did you? I wonder what Dreary will have to say about having both daughter and husband in jail. The entire family except Blanche has been locked up amazing.

And for new readers welcome aboard. My aim is to recount the highs and lows of Streetlife, although some of the lows I often admit to not wanting to report.

And we start with one of those in the Rovers where Tom (who really is not gay - honest love) is nursing his chin having had it socked to him by (as Liam so kindly put it) a hacked off woofer. Honestly isn't such language a contravention of Yooman Rites? Liam, with years of knowledge of such matters advises Tom not to get involved in a gay love triangle (or tambourine). Tom is merely worried if the bruises will be visible in front of the bank manager. Liam suggests borrowing some of Maria's foundation unless of course he has some of his own(!).

Becky observes to Doris that he must think it is Crimbo given that it will give him week's of tittle tattle - might even be worth writing a newsletter (or indeed given his ability with the net a weblog). Anyway Norris seems to be in a parallel universe and has noticed nothing, finishes his drink and departs quietly. Further along the bar Tyrone is making contact with the research clinic - and although Becky reckons he is mental he has been promised it is quite safe and there are no needles. Tyrone is determined to go through with it - he needs it for the dream wedding.

Marcus is packing in the living room (funny I do it in my bedroom where I keep the clothes but obviously northeners do things a bit different). Sean tries to say he is sorry but Marcus is having none of it and that was the end of it. Marcus tells Sean and Eileen that he wants a proper grown up relationship and if they cannot trust each other then they have nothing. Eileen goes to make herself scarce (a very difficult trick) but Marcus does not want to talk. So they talk - Sean says he is always so uncertain but as Marcus says until he grows up life will simply pass him by.

Ken is trying to talk himself out of being a drug dealer at the police station but the officer does not believe him - he has decided that drug dealers do not use kids any more - the older generation are far less likely to be suspected so are the perfect cover - especially when well dressed (which hardly explains Roy - but never mind). Next door Roy is in just as much trouble. He is asked if anyone can verify the story of the phone and of course Roy gives Becky - so an ex-jailbird is going to vouch for Roy and Ken - very likely. However she turns up and waits to be seen despite her history. Another individual waiting tries to chat her up but she tells him she has just put her feller in casualty and with a few tears she knows she will get away with it being self defence. The guy moves away.

Her story seems to do the trick and we see the three of them walking away from the police station. Roy is not happy - they have removed the lining of his coat in the drug search and it is ruined. Apparently he can claim compensation but does not want to go through filling in the forms and giving them the satisfaction. Roy dumps the bag and coat in a nearby bin - although as Becky observes he loves both articles. Anyway Roy says it is best if they put the day behind them and Ken links his right arm with Becky's left and she places her right arm under Roy's left and the three of them go off down the road together.

Jelly Roll Morton returns home to find it very clean. The kids eventually admit that Teresa assisted with the cleaning and are a little surprised by his vehemence that she must never come near the place again - and we know why don't we boys and girls? Anyway the younger kids are told much the same.

At the Kabin Doris admits to Rita that he opened the sealed envelope - he could not help himself. Apparently Emily has left him the house! Anyway Doris says that he was more surprised by the photographs he found of Rita which had been taken by Ernest - and Rita vaguely remembers some publicity photos - but she cannot understand why Emily has them or why they are in the "sealed envelope". Doris asks Rita to say nothing.

Tom has had a successful trip to the bank - apparently the lad at the bank knew the brand and Tom thinks it will be dead simple. He will look over the proposal and give the OK on Monday. It is simply a formality. Carla likes the sample shirts and asks why they have not got European distribution rights. Liam tells her they want to see how the UK goes first. Maria arrives and is also told that the bank is providing the finance needed. Maria and Liam go to the bar and Carla tells Tom it is a pity he went to the bank - she could have provided the money needed, it is a great product and they know what they are doing. She tells him that if they have a change of mind she would like to join the bus.

Ty is making arrangements with the clinic when Moll doll arrives. He claims he is speaking to Jack in Blackpool and as a cover he is going to go and see him for a few days closing down the garage - there really is no business. Later Tyrone tells Jason where he is really going - but not a word to Molly Malone.

Roy and Ken are sharing a drink and ruminating on the events - acts of kindness are not always a good thing. Becky arrives in a great mood and drops a couple of carrier bags in front of Roy. She has bought an identical coat and bag for Roy. Roy realises she has spent hours looking and thanks her. I think he has forgiven the harsh words she spoke a few weeks ago. She congratulates him on his cheap tastes or she would never have been able to afford to replace them and gives him a kiss. Royston is clearly touched by her efforts and perhaps random acts of kindness are infectious?

A little later Roy approaches the bar and thanks Becky again and he then says he was wondering, and before he can say much more Becky says that of course she can juggle both jobs - and Roy had not even asked her to take up the job again! Roy cannot believe it but is even more delighted - and as he says it is not really the same without her.

Marcus and Sean have reached the end of the road, so Marcus phones for a taxi and Eileen taking the call gets one of Streetcars to call at number 11 - yes she knows it is her house. She abandons the switch and walks along the Street. She gives Marcus a huge hug and tells him he will be missed. At that moment Liam and Maria pass by on their way from the Rovers and Maria has the opportunity once again to thank Marcus for everything he did for her. She tells him to call if he ever needs anything. Marcus tells Sean they could have had something special and with that he climbs into the taxi. Sean collapses onto Eileen who re-assuringly tells him that he has just made the biggest mistake of his life.

And I will be back!

K Richard W


Monday 8 September

It's Mel's first day on the job as a full fledged PC. She doesn't seem excited, though. A bit nervous, perhaps? STill worried about her mate Abi, too. Too nervous for a good breakfast anyway. Her twin teases her and says nobody will mistake her for a stripper anyway. Jerry throws him an exasperated look and turns back to his daughter. Jerry hugs her and tells her not to pinch anyone they know and, in an American accent, a la Hill Street Blues, urges her to "Let's be careful out there". She's no idea what he means but smiles and leaves him there, looking proud of her.

Liam is trying to get hold of Tom while Maria is hoping he will get a chance to clear up the bedroom. There are packing boxes full of tshirts all over the house. Liam is putting things in packing envelopes and getting Ozzie, who's sitting patiently beside him on the settee, to lick the stamps. It's a dog's life! Maria looks for assurances that this business venture will be worth it and Liam gives her what she's looking for. It will secure the future for their little'uns. But he's all stressed and she doesn't think that's a good thing so she hops on his lap and offers to destress him. For medicinal purposes, of course. Don't look, Ozzie!

Sean is wrapped up in a quilt on the settee and whining to Marcus' voice mail, begging and pleading. Promising he's changed. Jason tells Becky in the kitchen that it's Sean's eighth message that morning all ready. Becky gives him a sympathetic cuddle and urges him up and onward, get to the factory, she tells him, he needs people around him. He emits a gigantic sigh and agrees to go to work.

Liam bounces out of the house, very destressed now. They snog on the doorstep and he promises to sort out the stock and she promises to destress him some more. Across the road, Carla arrives at the factory. Liam watches her as Tom arrives. Tom promises that he money will be in their account today as soon as they hear from the bank. He puts on a confident face to Liam but when Liam goes inside, his cocky attitude fades a shade or two.

Jerry goes into the shop to see Darryl, wanting him to go easy on Mel. Darryl doesn't' think that's possible. After all, he explains, the last think she wants to deal with his him having a personality transplant! She needs normality. I don't think Jerry buys it but Darryl pushes his father back out the door so he doesn't get tempted to work.

Sean is boring the pants off the factory girls who doesn't seem to have a lot of sympathy for him. Fiz points out that he brought this all on himself.

Tom is not having a happy conversation on the telephone. Seems like the bank is turning down the request for 50 grand. He shouts at them a bit and hangs up but pretends to Liam that they've got the money! How's he going to get out of this one? Tom takes off to "close the deal".

John is on the phone to his mother while trying to put water in the taxi's radiator. He seems to be firming up plans for his gran's funeral and is snapping at his mother, dropping the water bottle and finally, hangs up and slams the bonnet of the car shut just as Emily happens by. She inquires and realizes that he's upset. He admits he's upset about his Gran's death, admitting his Gran was nearly 86 and had a good life. Emily offers an ear if he wants to listen and a prayer for his gran, Nell.

"Closing the deal" means Tom going to ask Carla to invest in their company since the bank turns him down. She agrees and wants to be a partner for that amount of money. 25% is her only offer. Tom stammers and starts but the offer is too tempting. He doesn't know how Liam is going to take it. She figures she knows how to handle Liam. He thanks her and she grins like a fox... The pleasure's all mine.

After the break, we're in the Kabin where Rita is woman-handling Norris and ordering him to concentrate and remember what photographs he saw but he can't. They're both frustrated and he feels like he's just blocked the whole sordid mess out. They are in mid-bicker when Emily arrives. Rita nearly gets a word out to ask but Norris interrupts her and says they're arguing about pencils, the perennial "2B or not HB" question. (See, he doesn't want to admit he was snooping!) Emily buys the excuse.

In the cafe, Tom arrives to see Liam and they celebrate the kickoff of their business.

John is listening to sad classical music in the taxi. Fiz comes over and is quite cheerful. She isn't keen on his music and he's cool with her.

Back to Norris and Rita. More bickering. Same old same old. Rita is sure that Emily has kept those photos, whatever they are, for a reason and could have held a grudge against her all these years.

Liam and Tom are waiting for the phone too ring. Waiting for the New York people to call to say they've got their money. They would be pacing if there were any space in the room to move what with the crates stacked up. Liam's getting more and more sure that it's going to go all wrong but just then the phone rings. He is non committal on the phone and keeps the Tom in suspense but of course, it's all good and they hop about a bit shouting in triumph as lads do.

Ashley thinks Jerry should get into the boxing ring and that will get him back into shape. Jerry notices Teresa getting off the bus and strides over. She just wants to see the kids but he demands she leave. She quietly insists but he threatens the police. She asks him not to use the kids to hurt her. He admits he's not told the kids yet and insists that she prove that she loves the kids by staying away. She walks away, defeated.

Sean is in the pub and not whining anymore (much). Liam and Tom are having a celebratory drink though Tom doesn't seem to be as excited as Liam thought he would be. (He's thinking about Liam's reaction to the silent partner, no doubt.) Sean comes over and interrupts to have a word with Tom. They move to one side and Sean says he's trying to apologize. Tom wonders what happened and Sean takes a breath and says it's safe to say.... um... it's all Marcus's fault. (Wha?)

Fiz comes in to see Maria who's cooking Liam's favourite for his tea. Damn. Fiz had hoped Maria would be up for a girly night out on the town. Guess not. Maria says any other time, she would, but ... Fiz understands, they've gone their own special night planned, eh? Maria laughs and says that Liam calls it "going on maneuvers!" She does offer to change their evening but Fiz insists she will not change her plans. The friends smile and Fiz leaves.

Norris and Rita are now bickering in the pub. or rather, Norris is getting the silent treatment and Rita is barely speaking to him and she does, it's not pretty and it's not civil. Emily arrives and can definitely sense an atmosphere. Rita sends Norris off to the bar and Emily expresses sympathy, knowing Rita's day was clearly not enjoyable. Emily relates the news that John's gran died and it's made her think about her own mortality. Norris admits he hasn't got his wallet and Emily's words seem to have upset Rita and she begs off and goes home.

Sean doesn't seem to think his apology went well. He whimpers. Becky cuddles again. Carla arrives and joins Tom and Liam but Liam doesn't want her there. Liam quickly realizes there's something up. Tom stutters... well... there's something Liam needs to know. After denying they aren't a couple, "Oh no," Carla simpers, "it's much better than sex". Tom starts to admit what's happened but Carla wants the satisfaction of letting the feline out of the sack and tells Liam she's the investor and new part owner. Cheers! Liam's face looks like thunder!

Tvor

In the Rovers, Liam is flabbergasted at Tom's news that Carla is their new business partner. Tom tries to justify his wheelings and dealings while Carla interjects with smart remarks but Liam is not convinced.

The next few exchanges are an absolute comic treat which I can't do any justice but will try to pin a couple of them for you. Over the other side of the bar, Julie and Fizz are thrilled to find Lloyd standing there wearing a ball cap. Lloyd's parents obviously never taught him it's rude to wear a hat indoors. But never mind. They try to persuade Lloyd to take it off but he cites hat-hair as his reason for keeping it on. Fizz asks, "Do you know what's wrong with John, Lloyd?" "The tennis player?" replies Lloyd- very clever!- but then when nobody has any idea who John Lloyd is, explains to Fizz that John's grandma has died. Meanwhile, Julie muses on the only hat that ever suits her being an Easter Bonnet.

Becky comes over to the bar with a sherry for Norris. She's all suspicious like. "You look nervous!" she says to Norris and asks him what's up? Norris protests that there's nothing wrong but Becky asks him why Rita left. "Ahhh, I don't, I don't know what you mean..." stammers Norris. Becky leans in for a clarification, "Do you know who Rita is?" He does. "And did she leave?" Of course she did. "And do you understand what the words why did mean?" Norris has no words, just a wry look while I am left snorting into my cup of tea.

Ashley and Jerry are walking in the street. Ashley is asking Jerry why Teresa has left. "She lets me down, she's a serial letter-downer!" Ashley lets Jerry in on a little fantasy he indulges in occasionally where he's single and doesn't have to deal with Claire. Maybe he's been thinking about it a little too much. Back to Jerry, he tells Ashley, "Deep down, I always thought I missed her, turns out I didn't..." Ashley tells Jerry how much he would miss Claire if he ever lost her, like he nearly did that one time. They go for a cup of tea like a pair of old women.

Emily is walking back from the pub with Norris. She can't understand as to why Rita left so abruptly. Norris can't explain either but, "I don't understand Spanish but I don't let it bother me!"

Maria is in the house, looking all glam, getting things ready for a romantic dinner with Liam. She puts some cans of beer in the fridge.

Dev, Vernon and Lloyd are playing putting with a glass bottle out on the street, talking about whether Dev broke it off with Nina or not. Dev says that she wouldn't let him break it off last week. Vernon is worried about Dev playing with Prem's feelings. "It's not his feelings I'm playing with," says Dev, "it's his wife!" and they all have a bit of an evil chuckle. Vernon tells Dev he is a paramour. "Prem is the cuckold and you are the paramour! No, the Dev-amour!" Ashley joins them just in time for Dev to make a shot.

Fizz is with Julie, in the Rovers reminiscing about John's grandma. It seems she and Fizz got on quite well and was once very kind to her.

Liam is still haranguing Tom about Carla on the other side of the bar. Liam is suspicious that Tom might fancy Carla which apparently he does. Carla comes back to the table and Liam tells her that they will pay her the money back and that they don't need her. Carla tells him to grow up and reminds him that he needs her cash. Liam storms out and Tom has a good old moan about Our Liam and how he was all moody growing up.

Liam makes it home to Maria in a foul mood. Maria doesn't know what's wrong and shouts at him that she feels like a "fewl", all dressed up and waiting for their romantic evening to commence. She stomps upstairs and he leaves the house.

In Dev's shop, Amber asks where Dev is off to. He tells her he and Nina are off to look at things for his new luxury flat. They talk a bit about Nina. Just as Amber starts chanting Nina's name, all obnoxious-like, Nina walks in. Another fabulous scene that I can't do justice to but can tell you that Amber interjects Nina and Dev's exchange with lots of little witticisms to make us all laugh. Nina has to cancel on Dev, something to do with tiresome Tara, her daughter in London. They postpone their soft-furnishings date and Nina leaves, not before telling Amber, "Nice to see you Amber. And I like the sardonic interjections. They do you no harm at all!" Once Nina has sauntered out, Amber tells her dad, "I've just thought of a brilliant name for the Indian film industry for if it's ever raining- Brollywood!"

Rita knocks on Norris and Emily's door and barges in telling Norris that she'll wait for Emily who Norris has told her is powdering her nose.

Liam is at Carla's door. Carla, who is cooking, lets him in, telling him she knew he'd turn up.

Rita and Norris are whispering madly about Emily in Emily's front room and about the photos of Rita. Rita tells Norris that she cherishes her friendship with Emily and she thinks Norris might be in the process of destroying it. She doesn't like to think that Emily has been harbouring a grudge about the risque photos of Rita that Ernest took all those years ago. Emily comes in. Rita tells Emily she and Norris are having a disagreement about "how to proceed with a delicate matter". Emily instructs Norris to put the kettle on.

Fizz comes into Streetcars where Lloyd is on the phone. She has a sympathy card for John who has gone home after he started getting all maudlin about his grandma.

At Emily's table, all is quiet. Emily asks about the "delicate matter" and if it's anything she can help with. It looks like Rita is about to let the cat out of the bag but Norris interrupts with some ramble about sticker albums and whether or not they should stop stocking them in the shop. Rita looks uncomfortable and tells Emily she thinks she should go.

At the Mortons' Mel is home from her first day. She had an egg mayonnaise sandwich for lunch and doesn't really have anything more interesting to say than that.

At Carla's, Liam is worried about Maria and Tony's reactions when they find out about Carla investing in Liam's business. They do a bit of flirting over the cooking while Liam asks Carla if he can please pay the money back. She reminds Liam that if he doesn't accept her as a silent partner, he will lose this lucrative All American Booty contract. Liam appears to have a bit of a rethink.

At Dev's shop, Vernon comes in and tells Dev how long a face he has. He asks what happened to his date with Nina. He urges Dev to sort out the situation with Nina. Dev shouts to Amber to mind the shop while he and Vernon go out and practice putting some more. Vernon will be Jack Nicklaus, Dev will be Colin Montgomery and Amber will "keep an eye on planet earth!"

Julie and Fizz are at home. Fizz tells Julie that she has a bit of a headache and that she might not go into work in the morning. Julie can see through her and knows that Fizz is planning to attend John's grandmother's funeral.

At Carla's, Liam and Carla are still talking business. They rehash how Maria and Tony will feel about their business deals. Carla wonders if they will have to meet in private, in secret for business talks but Liam tells her that this is precisely the kind of thing he was trying to avoid. Carla tells him straight- they are over; "I never want to suffer that kind of pain again." She makes it clear; "This is a loan, a 25% stake in your business. A bit of sound advice, as and when you need it, a'right?..... Do we have ourselves a deal?" Liam caves. They have a deal but neither Maria or Tony are to find out about it. They shake on it but Carla makes Liam promise not to ravish her. "Scouts' honour!" Carla knows Liam was never in the scouts. They say goodnight and Carla shuts the door behind Liam. "Gotcha!" she says, back to the door, arms folded, looking very pleased with herself.

Stella McLoughlin


Wednesday 10 September

Fiz asks Julie if she'll tell Carla that she's ill, and then rings the taxi office. She tells Lloyd not to let John leave, saying she's coming over right now.

Liam is seeing Maria off to work, promising her a really nice night later. "Like you promised last night?" says Maria, sarcastically. (She can be such a shrew sometimes!)

Julie sees Carla getting out of her and tells her that Fiz has been throwing up all night and won't be in to work.

Fiz arrives in the taxi office and asks John if she can come with him to his gran's funeral. She tells him he must tell her if it's awkward for him, but he's really pleased and says they'll set off about 12.00 o'clock.

In the Kabin, Rita tells Norris she's going to tell Emily that he opened her envelope, and she's going to do it when he's not there to interrupt. She wants to know why Emily kept the photographs that Ernest took. Of course Norris is very unhappy at this prospect, fearing that he'll be cut out of the will and will lose the house.

Tom and Liam are looking for a lock up in which to store their stock. Tom suggests sending Carla to check them out, but Liam doesn't even want to talk about her. He tells Tom to make sure that he never tells Maria about Carla being a partner in their business. "Why not?" asks Tom. Liam won't say, but Tom starts to suspect that there might have been something between them in the past. Tom goes to the shop for milk and once outside the house he pulls out his phone and calls Carla, inviting her along to check out the lock ups.

Emily approaches the Kabin, where Norris is outside sweeping the pavement. She's come for sweets, and he tries everything he can think of to stop her going in, but she gets past him. Once inside, Rita tells her there's something she'd like to discuss with her and arranges to go to Emily's house at about 1pm.

Darryl goes into the shop, where Molly and Amber ask how his dad is. Molly asks who's running the shop and Darryl says that he's there on his own. Molly reckons he might need some company - hinting that Amber might go along. Amber says she was thinking of getting a kebab anyway. "Yes, I was thinking you might," says Molly.

Fiz and John get in the taxi and head off to the funeral.

Tom and Liam are in the Rovers, when Carla comes in. She and Tom are off to check out the secure storage. Liam asks whether he's invited but when Tom suggests that he'll have to explain to Maria where he's been and who he's been with, he changes his mind.

John and Fiz follow the funeral procession into the church. She tells him that if it's easier for him, he can go and sit with his family and she'll sit somewhere else, but he won't hear of it.

After the break, we see Fiz and John coming out of the church, commenting on what a lovely service it was. He asks if she'd like to go with him to see his gran's house. She tells him she'll think about it.

Rita has arrived at Emily's, and declines an offer of tea or glass of sherry, and then tells her about Norris finding the unsealed envelope and how curious he was to know what was in the first envelope. "You know Norris, he can resist anything except temptation," says Rita, and goes on to explain how he opened the sealed envelope and read the contents, and then put everything back in the second envelope. "So you see he's cleverer than we think," she says. "And more dishonest," observes Emily, "so he's had a look at my will, has he?" Rita concedes that he might have, but says that she's more concerned about the photographs that were with it. "Photographs?" queries Emily. "Of me, taken by Ernest," says Rita. "So that's where they got to!" exclaims Emily and goes off to get them.

Maria's on her lunch break and has joined Liam in the pub. She's just off back to work when Tom and Carla come back. While Tom gets the drinks, Carla tells Liam she's now an expert on lock ups, and then hints that Tom has been making naughty remarks. Liam tells her Tom thinks she's tasty. Carla laughs and says she'll have to be careful. "You know what I'm like, a few kind words and I'm anybody's!" she says, looking pointedly at Liam.

Emily brings the photos downstairs, explaining that she found them a couple of years ago when she was having a clear out, but then when she wanted to give them to Rita she couldn't find them anywhere. They must have got caught up with the Will by mistake. Rita asks her not to be too hard on Norris. Emily says she's glad he turned up the photographs, but isn't pleased that he read her Will.

Fiz and John arrive at his gran's house and go inside.

Back in the Kabin, Rita is looking at the old photographs, but Norris is more worried about how angry Emily might be with him. Just then Lloyd comes in and sees the photographs. He asks who the very attractive lady is, and says he could fall for her. When he's gone out again, Norris asks Rita if Emily mentioned the Will. "I'm not sure," says Rita, looking at her photos, "I wasn't really listening, to be honest."

John tells Fiz he doesn't know what's going to happen to his gran's house. He says he was thinking of living there himself, but things need doing and anyway it's no fun alone. Fiz tells him he won't be on his own for ever, but he says he deserves to be after the way he treated her. He tells her he knows he threw away the best thing he'd ever had in his life. "You'll meet somebody," says Fiz, but he says it won't be her. After an awkward pause they decide to go and get fish and chips.

Abbie arrives at the Morton household to see Mel. She tells her that because of the damage to her eye she now has a blind spot and could make it difficult to focus. They've offered her a desk job for the time being. Mel says she hopes they lock up the woman who did it for years. Abbie tells her that she's not being charged, there's not enough evidence to make it stick. "That's terrible!" cries Mel, "it shouldn't be allowed to happen."

Norris arrives back at Emily's house and starts to try to apologise to her. She tells him she doesn't want to talk about it, she's made an appointment with a solicitor to run through her will and make whatever alterations are necessary.

Abbie tells Mel that she may not ever go back to work with the police. If she can't be a real copper she may be better off out of it. "But you told me that the police is all you ever wanted to do!" says Mel. "It was," says Abbie.

Fiz and John are sitting on the sofa and he puts his arm round her shoulders. He says he still loves her, he took the taxi job to be near her. She tells him she doesn't hate him, how could she? He asks if she thinks there might be a chance for the two of them. "I think there might be, yeah," she says, and he kisses her.

Anne Logan.


Friday 12 September

We go first to John's Gran's house (John's ex-Gran's house, really) where he's trying to persuade Fiz to throw a sickie. He admits that he just doesn't want her to go.

Tom and Liam are like Pinky and Perky. Maria thinks Tom must have a woman, or why would he be so cheerful. He says he's got a rather interesting meeting later on. He won't say exactly what.

On the doorstep of the kebab shop, Darryl has noticed that Amber's been a frequent customer lately. She laughs that the kebabs are weirdly addictive. Dev comes past in his sports car and she explains that Molly is minding the shop and she's just come for change. "Which she's waiting for while you're lolling on the stop with this Loser (yes, only Dev could enunciate a capital L)," Dev points out. Darryl thinks being called a Loser is better than being called a Low-Life. Dev demands that Amber get in the car. Amber says she's not ready. She was just going to ask out Darryl. He accepts. Dev isn't impressed. "Get in!" Mind you, the time he's spent, he could have gone to the shop, parked and walked back to drag her home by now.

At the Mortons' residence, Mel is slumped on the sofa, moping over Abi. She thinks it's particularly unfair that the girls who attacked Abi have got off, because they all blamed each other, and Abi's going to lose the job she loved with the police. "They'll be out celebrating tonight," Mel tells her father. The ringleader will probably be wearing the same chavvy gold sandals she was wearing when she put the boot in. Jerry tells her to toughen up. Mel admits she's skiving work and was due in three hours ago. Jerry sighs.

In the shop, Amber tells Molly she only asked out Darryl to wind up her dad, and Darryl only accepted for the same reason. Dev is on the phone, talking to someone about the Asian business network. He's arranging to be out tonight, which Amber says means she'll be chained to the till. Molly offers to do the shift for her without letting Dev know. Then Amber and Darryl can have the flat to themselves.

Carla comes past just as the lads are loading the van. Maria brags about how well they're doing. Carla makes some cryptic comments about their enterprise. Maria thinks Carla is jealous of their success.

The kebab shop is crowded out with schoolkids. Jerry's there, but abandons Darryl to the mob when he sees Mel walking past. She's still glum about Abi.

Fiz is picking flowers for John's mum, but he says she should keep them. He quotes poetry at her. The Legover Poem, he calls it. It's Robert Herrick's "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time," (Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,/ Old Time is still a-flying:/ And this same flower that smiles to-day /To-morrow will be dying." John says the poets such as Herrick and Marvell had a lot of Legover poems, urging young women to drop their drawers before it's too late. He says he and Fiz shouldn't spend so much time thinking about what others think, rather than just living their lives. "That's easy to think when we're out here," Fiz says. John asks why they don't just go for it. "We might be dead tomorrow." Fiz hugs him.

The factory workers leave the premises and Carla asks Julie how Fiz is. Julie makes a good recovery from the ambush question and says she doesn't really know. Carla wants to pop over to find out whether Fiz will be in on Monday or whether she needs to call an agency machinist. Julie makes her escape just as Liam and Tom confront Carla about her stunt earlier on and she talks about having a meeting at her place, with a full-bodied red. She leaves, to go home to the full-bodied red. Liam's annoyed that her involvement has complicated what was a simple arrangement between Tom and Liam. Or that's what he tells Tom. He doesn't mention the complicated relationship he has with Carla. Liam tells Tom to issue Carla with an ultimatum: "From now on, the silent partner stays silent. Right?"

Abi hammers on the front door of the Mortons' place. Jerry answers and she notices he's panting, even though he says he's just been watching a DVD. Turns out it's an exercise DVD. Abi says she's still trying to get her head round everything, but she wants to apologise to Mel for snapping at her.

Leanne (where's she been??) is in the newsagents' and Norris is going on about solicitors. He thinks they tend to be cautious by nature. Leanne agrees they would protect their client's interests. He wonders whether, if someone was making a will, a solicitor would favour an older, conservative person to get any legacy, or a soap-dodging anarchist nephew (at last! Spider gets a mention in relation to Emily's will!) . . . Leanne assures him the solicitor would favour the older person. Leanne leaves. "Well, that was scientific," Rita tells Norris.

Nina arrives at the shop and Molly and Amber tells her Dev is busy with his Asian business network stuff. Nina assures them "He'll stop when he sees me, dear," and arrogantly glides past them and into the back room. "She's used to the red-carpet treatment, dear," Amber tells Molly. "Well, we're a beige lino shop, dear," retorts Molly.

In the back room, Dev is on the phone to Prem when Nina gooses him. He makes an excuse and cuts the connection. Nina starts to seduce him and he can't cope.

In the shop, Amber is agonising over when to get ready for her date. Dev and Nina come through, with Dev explaining that he's just going home to get ready for his meeting and won't be back. He escorts Nina out the door. "They are SO at it!" says Amber. Molly can't believe it. "But she's gorgeous, though!" Molly tells Amber to go upstairs - she's got an hour to make herself gorgeous.

In the pub, Darryl finds Mel drinking to forget and demands that Liz tell him how many Mel's had. Liz is talking to Harry when Clarissa comes in. Liz refuses to tell her what they were saying (he was offering to save her from Darryl's rude behaviour). At a nearby table, Norris and Rita are sitting together when Emily comes in to borrow his key, because she's locked herself out. Norris is busy trying to mark the TV schedules by colour-code (yellow for must-see; red for record; green for worth-a-look), and offers to draw her a key to the system, but Emily says: This is the only key I shall be needing," and goes off to unlock the door. "I wonder if you'll get it back," wonders Rita. At the bar, Mel is drowning her sorrows over her lost friendship with Abi. She suddenly leaves and Darryl pursues her into the street.

As she heads for the bus stop, he says Jerry is worried about her. They're interrupted by Teresa, which doesn't cheer up Mel. Teresa tries to persuade her to file a compensation claim. "Where there's blame . . ." she says. "Oh, there's blame all right," snaps Mel. "I've got blame coming out me earholes." She rushes off and gets into a taxi, but Teresa doesn't want her to go off on her own.

John's showing Fiz where the house holds special memories for him. Fiz tells him that hearing about a happy childhood is a novelty for her. Her phone goes - it's Julie warning her that Carla is suspicious. Fiz wants to know what Julie said. Julie says she toed the party line. "But this is not the face of a consummate liar." "I've read your CV, remember," replies Fiz. She says she's coming back. She closes the phone and tells John how much she was enjoying herself there. "This is just the beginning," he promises.

Teresa persuades Lloyd to find out where the taxi is taking Mel. To the Milk Bar. "It's where they had that fight - the one where Abi got attacked," Darryl tells her. Teresa gets ready to go after her.

The End of Part One
Margaret Carr

Teresa refuses to let Darryl into the taxi - says she has made mistakes and someone needs to sit with Jelly Roll and keep him quiet so that he does not have another heart attack. Amber turns up for the date she was expecting and Darryl hardly gives her the time of day although he does note that she has had her hair done or something. She is rather put out as he heads back indoors to bring Jerry up to date. Anyway dream date ruined and she briefly wishes him good luck in talking to Jerry. The latter does not take the news well at all.

John and Fiz arrive and the latter wants him to park round the corner - she is already worried about the reception committee. She tells him to park in Victoria Street and come in the back door. Fiz enters the front door to find Julie wailing that she may have lost her temporary job (what did happen to the Call Centre by the way?). Then she gives Fiz a piece of her mind about John, claiming that he would have said that the death put everything into perspective and so on (Julie must have had access to the scriptwriter as she replayed it all), telling Fiz not to be taken in, not realising that John is standing right behind her. She realises, turns and tells him that anything which happens here tonight is pity - or else Fiz would not have told him to come in the back door. Julie retreats and Fiz suggests to John that they go to the Rovers - Fiz does not care what anyone else thinks.

Liam arrives at Carla's flat much to her delight (she and Tom are having a business meeting). He tells them that he does not like Maria being lied to - but they are all in this business together and he wants to ensure he is a part of it. Tom wonders if he is keeping tabs on something else as well. Turns out the contract has a loophole - the US company can appoint other franchises in the UK, at which point Liam's phone goes with Maria wanting to know where he is. Liam says that he and Tom are at the printers but should not be more than an hour What was that about lying to Maria?). Anyway a little later Tom and Liam leave Carla - the problem with the distribution contract will have to go to the lawyers.

At the bar Mel is watching the group of girls involved in the previous fracas when Teresa arrives and she neatly keeps herself out of Mel's eyeline, hiding behind walls and such like. Eventually one of the girls stands up and heads out the door, closely watched by Mel. She goes as far as the doorman to get a light for a cigarette - no smoking allowed inside these days of course. Once a bit further away Mel heads out until her arm is caught by Teresa who pulls her back inside and asks what she is planning. Mel looks at the girl outside - she is the one who did for Abi. Teresa says she is going to get her to calm down, take her for a walk around the block - anything to stop her being silly. They retreat inside and Teresa tells Mel she cannot hand out her own rough justice on the eye for an eye principle - she would soon lose her job. Teresa points out that when she needed the police to protect her they turned out and treated her well. Mel relaxing offers to buy the next drink. The girl comes back in and goes to the ladies restroom and is followed in by Teresa who checks that cubicles are empty. Teresa knocks over the girl's handbag and the latter stoops down to pick it all up. Teresa slips off her shoe and we see her raising it and then bringing it down hard. Mel has phoned Darryl - Teresa is missing - but then she re-appears, she has broken her heel walking to and from the cashpoint. She suggests they leave and as they walk outside an ambulance and police car are arriving, but Mel does not notice them. Mel asks if she should tell Jerry but Teresa suggests that if he does not know it cannot harm him.

Rita is still winding up Norris, suggesting that Emily had borrowed his key to change the locks. Doris is getting a bit fed up with it all. When he returns home with Rita he rings the doorbell and Emily hands him a suitcase - and he thinks she is throwing him out. Turns out that it is donations for the Charity shop which he has to take round to Ken's. Norris lives to fight another day as Rita observes.

Clarissa is less than impressed to find Harry having a drink in the Rovers and chatting to Liz. She tells him to finish drinking his last drink in this pub!

Nina and Dev are almost fully clothed, but probably were not a few minutes earlier (do people not on soaps get dressed so quickly after sex?). The door bell goes and the intercom shows that Prem has arrived! Dev lets him up and sends Nina to the bedroom. Dev apologies and produces a cock and bull story (complete with an alleged mother of Amber on the phone from Finland with relationship problems). Prem acknowledges that family comes first and departs. Nina congratulates Dev on his acting skills but Dev tells her to go - his nerves cannot take anymore of this. Nina does not take it well and tells him that Life is not that simple for her. Dev takes it as a threat, she tells him it is a promise.

Darryl arrives at the shop and tries to put things right with Amber, her hair and lip gloss are great, she is gorgeous and he really rates her. And then he asks her out! Before there is an answer they kiss and then she takes his hand and leads him inside.

Mel and Teresa arrive on the Street. Teresa is asked indoors but she says no - Mel is going to dive inside to get her some trainers to replace the broken shoes. However Jerry bursts out the house and starts on at Teresa and she departs off down the Street - Mel says that really there is no problem, but Jerry does not want his wife around picking his children off one by one. Mel tells him that Teresa has saved her career this evening and that he should think of that when he is watching the television.

See you all next week.

K Richard W


Monday 15 September

We start off in the Mortons' where Mel is making breakfast for the family. Darrell can sense the tension between Mel and Jerry. Jerry tells him what it's all about- Mel suddenly see her mum as her own personal Mother Teresa but Jerry still knows the truth. Mel is annoyed that Jerry begrudges her enjoy this new-found relationship with her mother.

At Fizz's, John is having breakfast with Fizz and Julie. After Julie makes some reference to her inability to digest bran, John hurries up from the table and asks Fizz if she wants to have breakfast at the cafe. Fizz has to go to work though and refuses. She sees him out of the front door in a very awkward fashion, like she doesn't want to be seen with him or something. When he leaves she challenges Julie to give her opinion on their having got back together. Julie tells her she's "keeping it zipped!"

The Websters are back on the street from their holiday, Kevin a lovely tangerine colour. There's no sign of Tyrone at the garage and he can't get a hold of him. Sally doesn't seem too perturbed and tells Kevin how she's looking forward to not working this week and sitting down and putting her feet up. Molly sees them from across the street and asks how their holiday was. She explains that Tyrone has gone to stay with Jack in Blackpool for a couple of days. Kevin is slightly annoyed about this but Sally is not. Seems her holiday has done her the world of good. She heads inside to make herself some eggy bread and watch Lorraine Kelly while Kevin is left on the street with all of the luggage to haul inside the house.

John goes into Streetcars. Lloyd is surprised to see him and even more surprised that he seems quite perky considering the circumstances. He wonders if John's grandma has left him some money in her will. John tells him that she's probably only left him a collection of garden gnomes but money isn't everything, is it?

Outside the Kabin, Norris is fretting to Rita about where Emily has gone off to, since she was wearing her beast coat when she left this morning. He is convinced that Emily has gone to the solicitors to change her will. Rita tells him to stop fretting since there's nothing he can do. She suggests that he go inside and make them a nice pot of tea. When Norris won't stop carrying on about Emily Rita tells him, "D'you want to know what I think? I think she shall throw caution to the wind and leave it all to a donkey sanctuary. She's always had a soft spot for donkeys and let's face it, if they're good enough for Jesus, they're good enough for Emily!"

Teresa hobbles past Rita and Norris in her broken shoe and is greeted in the street by three of her children and Jerry. Jerry asks her what she's doing here and is not pleased when she suggests that she walk the children to school. The children ask if Teresa can come round to their place for dinner/lunch. Jerry is not keen on the idea but doesn't say no.

In the cafe, Bill and Jason are having a spot of breakfast. They chat a bit about Audrey and Becky comes over. Becky complains to Jason about how crowded their house is. When Becky is gone, Bill points out that Becky was dropping heavy hints that she wants the two of them, Becky and Jason, to be getting a place of their own. Jason looks slightly uncomfortable.

At the Mortons' Jerry tells Darrell to go outside and clean his love shack. Teresa, who still has her own key, comes in uninvited for a chat and biscuit with Jerry.

In Underworld, the machinists are having chats and cuppas. They ask Fizz how she is feeling in the wake of her couple of days absence from work. Vicky tells them all how in Poland they treat the cold by rubbing yourself with paraffin and then covering yourself with grease-proof baking paper. "Oh my days!" exclaims Julie, "one naked flame and whoosh! that'll be the end of you!" Vicky protests that it's a very effective remedy and that it draws out all the impurities but Janice says she prefers to take a hot toddy when she's under the weather, "Couple of them, you're past caring about flu or anything else!" Sean tells Fizz that he's glad to see her back at work. Julie gives Fizz a knowing look.

Back at the Mortons' Jerry gets back from wherever he was to find Teresa has been baking cakes in his absence. She gets all smart and tastes the batter to prove that she's not poisoning anyone. Jerry gets aggro and throws the bowl of batter against the wall. He accuses her of laughing at him after everything she's done to him. He grabs her and Teresa tells him "Go on then, hit me! Maybe you should have done it years ago, knocked some sense into me!" Jerry lets her go and storms out into the back yard.

In the Bookies, Clarissa and Leanne are talking about decorating while Harry and Dan look on distastefully.

In the back garden of the Mortons', Teresa comes out and shows Jerry a fabulous photo of the two of them when they were young. They reminisce about the good old days. Jerry tells her that he was a mug all those years ago and he should have had it tattooed on his forehead. He remembers how he always took her back after she ran away with all of her different men and how much of a fool he's been. He tells her that he never thought she could hurt him again but she did. He refuses to forgive her for poisoning him.

Out in the smokers' yard of the Rovers, Harry has sneaked in to see Liz. He asks Liz to go inside and grab him a pint because he has promised "not to step foot inside" the pub. She agrees to get him a pint and asks if she should peel him a grape while she's at it. Flirty flirt!

In Streetcars, Lloyd knows there's something going on with John. John lets on that he and Fizz are back together again and it feels like they've never been apart. Lloyd is happy for him.

In the Kabin, poor old Norris is still beside himself with agitation about Emily, worrying about moisture getting into the midget gems which "are all stuck together in one huge, jellied amorphous mass." Rita suggests he sticks one in his mouth to keep him quiet for a bit. Dev comes into the shop for some posh chocolates that he doesn't stock in his own shop for dinner at a very discerning friend's ie. Nina!. He feels there may be a hidden agenda at this dinner. Norris laments that he won't be able to be a fly on the wall at this dinner, since he is somewhat of an expert on Body Language and would be able to tell Dev a thing or two. Rita sells Dev a box of chocs for £16.85! Dev doesn't appear to feel ripped off at all.

Guess where we are now, that's right, at the flummin' Mortons' again. Jerry asks Teresa not to soft-soap Mel and ditch her as is her usual MO. Teresa confesses to Jerry that the night she stopped Mel from going after the girl who beat up Abi, she went and got her for Mel. Jerry is shocked and tells Teresa, "See, that's you all over, isn't it, eh? You don't think things through! Our Mel has a problem with some girl and you go and smash her face in!" Mel walks in just to hear the tail end of Jerry's rant, "You say that you love me, you say that you want to be part of this family and then you stick a bottle of pills down me neck half-killing me in the process......" Mel can't believe what she's just heard. Jerry can't believe that she just heard it.

Liz brings Harry his pint back out to the smokers' yard. Liz and Harry stand very close to each other and flirt like mad. They talk about how they should have a walkie talkie system and are interrupted by Dan who warns Harry that Clarissa is on the warpath and looking for him. Liz tells him that he needs someone to be watching Clarissa's every move. Harry has an idea and thinks he knows exactly the man for the job.

At the Mortons' Teresa is desperately trying to explain herself to Mel. Mel tells Teresa she's insane and wonders why on earth Jerry would cover for her. Mel is furious, "Shut up!" she shouts, "Time and time again I have watched you worm your way back into this family. I should have known not to trust you!" Darrell comes in from the back garden wondering what he's walked into. Mel tells her mother that it's all over and that she will never speak to her again. She tells Darrell that Teresa tried to kill Jerry. "These past few months have been a nightmare, We've been out of our minds with worry and it's all down to her!" Realisation dawns on Darrell. Teresa can see she's in trouble.

Outside Underworld, the machinists all traipse outside to find John Stape waiting with a huge bunch of flowers. Fizz is obviously embarrassed but Sean tells her she's being presumptuous, they might be for him! "Or else for Rosie," says Janice, bitterly and spitefully. But of course they are for Fizz and the cat's out of the bag- Fizz and John are back together and all in public. Janice tells him to get lost but Fizz accepts the flowers with a kiss while everyone looks on in horror.

Back with Jerry, Mel, Teresa and Darrell, and Mel is still having a go at Teresa. There's a lot of shouting going on and accusations fly as Jerry tells Mel that he hadn't changed his will and Teresa would stand to benefit from his death. Motive, as Mel points out. Kayleigh and Finlay come home. Jerry tries to rush them upstairs before the young kids find out what their mother did. But, there's no hiding it from them any more and soon the whole family knows. Mel takes a deep breath and does something utterly ridiculous. "Teresa Bryant, " she says, "I am arresting you.... on suspicion of attempted murder. You do not have to say anything....." Teresa is speechless.

Part 2

John and Fizz are having a sandwich together in the street. John wonders if he has embarrassed Fizz by bringing her flowers, he thought she would have told her workmates that they were back together. He tells her that the sooner people know the better and besides, he thinks that everyone should be too busy living their own lives to be worried about what John and Fizz are doing. Famous last words, eh, John? Blanche comes over and gives them a piece of her mind, "Well, well, well. I've seen some sights this dinner time. Only popped out to put me bet on. I would not have put money on this, mind. What's going on?" John tell her that he and Fizz are back together. "Are you now?" she asks Fizz and then goes on to tell her, "You have a very forgiving nature, love. I should think on, once a tom strays, they never settle again. Unless you get 'em doctored!" and she heads off on her merry way.

Mel takes her mother into the police station and announces she has a suspected attempted murder on her hands. The sergeant goes to take Teresa down to the to custody area. Jerry rushes in, all out of breath and tells the sergeant that it's all a misunderstanding and that he can explain everything. The sergeant tells Jerry to take a seat.

Outside Streetcars, Clarissa is off out shopping with Lloyd as her chauffeur. She and Harry talk about money. It's really not very interesting at all. It appears that Harry has employed Lloyd to keep an eye on Clarissa and let Harry know of all her movements so that Harry can go into the Rovers without any hassle. Honestly, have you ever heard anything quite so ridiculous?

At Underworld, Janice, Sean and Vicky are bitching about John Stape. Janice wonders what Fizz is thinking of. Sean thinks that Fizz should have more self respect. What they don't know is that Fizz is listening from her locker. She interrupts them and asks them to please not worry about her and to be happy for her. She tells them in the end that it's none of their business and if they don't like it then they can lump it. Or words to that effect.

At the police station, the sergeant asks to talk to Jerry. Jerry tells the sergeant that Mel has made a mistake and that he accidentally took too much medication. The sergeant is a bit taken aback that Mel would arrest her own mother on suspicion of attempted murder for no good reason. He tells Jerry that it's OK that it's all a misunderstanding but he still needs to take statements.

Dev comes out of the toilets in the Rovers, looking very smart. Rita asks where he's off to with his posh chocs and fancy suit. She suspects a lady friend but Dev denies it flat.

Becky is moaning across the bar to Deirdre about living at Eileen's. Apparently Eileen never stops talking when they're watching telly and her small are always getting mixed up with Eileen's not-so-smalls. She tells Deirdre that Eileen is lovely but asks her which bird likes living with her fella's mam? Jason comes over and asks Becky if they should be getting a place together. Becky is delighted, to say the least.

Norris and Rita are sitting together having a drink, Norris still worrying about Emily and her will. He is afraid he will be found dead, all alone in a little bedsit where he'll be heading if Emily disinherits him. Rita points out that 1) Norris might die before Emily, 2) he hasn't got any idea what Emily is telling her solicitor and 3) she wouldn't ever see Norris homeless. Norris thanks her but reminds Rita that she's no spring chicken either. He needs to know what Emily has done with her will.

At the police station, Jerry is sent home and the sergeant thanks him for "putting it to bed". Mel is incensed that nothing will happen to her mother. "If he had a knife in his back, you wouldn't turn a blind eye!" but the sergeant reminds her that they can't do anything about it at all and reminds her that she might need to calm down. He tells her to report to his office later.

Dev is at Prem and Nina's house where he is thanked by Prem for coming to dinner at such short notice. He has a surprise for Dev, another dinner guest, his daughter Tara who is quite beautiful. Dev presents her with the chocolates while Nina looks on, quite put out. She sends Tara back to the kitchen to "keep an eye on supper".

Lloyd is outside some shops somewhere, reporting in to Harry about Clarissa's whereabouts. Clarissa comes out with hands full of bags. She suggests that they go somewhere for something to eat. Clarissa hints to Lloyd that she needs someone to keep an eye on Harry for her, "I pay good money, if you're interested!"

In the Rovers, Fizz and John are having a drink together while everyone looks at them with evil eyes. They make plans to go to his grandma's cottage for the weekend. Just as John gives her a kiss on the forehead, Maria and Liam come in and quite plainly disgusted by John's public display of affection for Fizz. Maria wonders what the matter with Fizz is, "She should hate him!" Liam reckons there's a thin line between love and hate. Maria asks him if that means he'll be wanting a season ticket for Manchester United for next season. "Point taken!" says Liam.

At dinner with Prem and Nina, Dev is quite clearly entranced by Tara while Nina is quite clearly possessed by the green-eyed monster. Prem tells Dev that Tara is thinking of moving up North. He also tried to big-up Dev to Tara while Nina tried to bring him down, asking Dev about his wife and children. Prem is embarrassed by Nina's behaviour.

Mel comes home to the Mortons' where she is angry with Jerry for telling the police that Teresa poisoning him was all a big misunderstanding. Mel tells Jerry that he made her look like a right pillock (No, dear, you managed that all by yourself!) and that she got a proper telling off. Her sergeant told her he had half a mind to charge her with wasting police time! Jerry explains that he had to make a choice. Mel tells him they all know who he chose. Just then, Teresa is let in by Kayleigh.

In the bar, Becky is giving Fizz a hard time for taking John back. Maria has a go as well and Fizz reminds her of the clangers she's made with blokes. Fizz tells them all, "It's my life and he is my choice!" before she takes her drinks and goes back to John.

Norris is with Rita when Emily comes into the pub and sits with them. Norris tells Emily that he is aware that it's her prerogative to change her will as she sees fit and it's her business but he would appreciate where knowing where he stands. Emily agrees to let him know where he stands. She tells him that he stands exactly where he stood before he betrayed her trust. He had no idea then what was in her will and he has no idea now and she's not telling. And, he won't find her will in her drawer any more. It's in her solicitor's safe where it will stay until the reading. Emily asks Norris if he is going to the bar. Norris says, "Definitely!" and drinks up quickly.

At the Mortons' Mel challenges the nerve of Teresa to show her face round their house. Teresa tells them she is there to say thanks to Jerry. She tells them that she feels much better now that all is out in the open and she hopes they can all make a fresh start. Mel starts to shout at Teresa but Jerry interrupts. He walks toward Teresa and tells her, "Out, lady!" Teresa is shocked, she thought that he had gone and stood up for her so they could be together but Jerry tells her, "I didn't save your neck for your sake! I did it to spare my kids the shame of having to admit you're their mam." Teresa pleads that she wants to be part of the family, she begs Jerry to stay but Jerry tells her to sling her hook while Mel looks on, all smug.

Dinner is almost over at Prem and Nina's Nina is still having a go at Dev, dragging him down in front of Tara. Just as Dev starts a conversation with Tara, Nina interrupts and tells Dev it's time for him to go home. Dev gives Tara a kiss on the cheek before Nina insists on walking him to the door. Dev shakes hands with Prem, says goodbye to Tara and leaves behind Nina. Out by the front door, Nina is furious with Dev and tells him no matter what ideas Prem may have, Dev is to stay away from her daughter!

Fizz and John leave the pub, Fizz angry with Maria for butting in where she's not wanted. John tells Fizz that everyone will come round and when they get to Fizz's front door, expects to be invited in. Fizz doesn't though and tells him that after the day she's just had, she just wants to pull the quilt over her head. She goes inside without even giving him a kiss.

Stella McLoughlin


Wednesday 17 September

Fiz is sitting looking thoughtful, Julie asks if she's ok, and Fiz tells her she and John are fine, it's all her so called mates sticking their oar in. "You'd think they'd want me to be happy," she says. Julie says they're just looking out for her, and goes to pick up the post. She then gets all excited as one letter says that Kirk might have won a speedboat. "Oh I don't think Kirk's the speedboat type," says Fiz. Julie says that he might not be, but she is, her family are very nautical, her grandfather used to hire out pedaloes on the Red Rec boating lake! Just then there's a knock on the door - it's Sean. He says he's on his way to work and just thought he'd give Fiz a knock. Fiz however, isn't taken in for a minute. She tells him she knows he's only checking to see if John stayed the night. "No, no," says Sean, adding "did he?" Fiz ignores the question and, calling to Julie, they head off to work.

Jason and Becky come out of their front door, she's excitedly looking through the paper for a flat of their own. They see one that seems possible so decide to go and look at it later.

Gail sees Kayleigh sitting in the bus shelter, looking sad. She tells her she's no stranger to family problems. "Not like ours," says Kayleigh, but Gail tells her not be so sure, and if she wants to talk, she'll listen.

John sees Maria going into the salon and asks for a quick word. Reluctantly, Maria lets him in. He tells her he doesn't want to drive a wedge between her and Fiz. Maria says that they were friends long before he came on the scene and they will be long after he's gone. He tells her he's in this for keeps. "What, until the next bit of skirt comes calling?" retorts Maria. He asks if she really thinks that's what he's like, and asks if she's never made a mistake. He says he despises himself for what he did, and he'll never let Fiz down again. Maria reckons that a leopard doesn't change its' spots, but it's Fiz's decision. John agrees that it is, and flounces out, slamming the door.

Kayleigh is telling Gail about her mum giving her dad the extra pills. "So that's why she needed the extra prescription!" says Gail. Tearfully, Kayleigh sobs that she brought her mother into the house, and usually took her side, so it's all her fault. Gail tells her that her mum is very manipulative, and gives her a hug.

In the factory, the workers are trying to persuade Fiz to give John up. Janice concedes that John's better looking than Kirk. "But then so is an upturned hotpot," she mutters. Julie is outraged. "Don't you start on my Kirk!" she snaps. Fiz says that's great coming from her, Roger's not exactly hunk of the month. "At least I know he'll never stray," says Janice. "Who'd have him?" says Fiz.

Tom is on the phone to the American supplier. When he's finished the call he turns around and tells Liam and Maria that they're launching a new range next week and they want him to go over to see the show. "You?" says Liam. Tom then suggests they both go but Maria objects. "You can't just go swanning off to America at the drop of an ‘at," she says. (Why not? It's what people do when they're in business!) She tells Liam it's an excuse to get beered up, and suggests, flirtatiously, that without Tom there it's a opportunity for them to spend quality time together.

Liz sees Vernon sitting at the bar, busily writing in a notebook. He tells her he's like an open tap at the moment, creatively. "It just goes to show, even heartbreak has it's advantages," he says, and tells her he's sent some songs off to a publisher. She tells him not to be too disappointed if he doesn't hear anything back from them. "Oh, they'll get back," says Vernon, "they know quality when they hear it." He offers to give her a sneak preview, "Vernon Tomlin - Unplugged!" Just then Becky calls her to the phone, it's Flash Harry.

The factory workers arrive at the pub, still trying to convince Fiz of the folly of her ways. John is there already and he tells them he's got their round in. "No ta," says Janice. Wiki tells him that's very kind, but he says he didn't get her one because he didn't know what she drank. He then tells Fiz he's booked a table at a restaurant in town for the evening, and leaves her with her friends.

Back in the taxi office, John tells Lloyd that Fiz's mates are hell bent on ruining everything, and they have to get away. "Are you thinking of moving?" asks Lloyd. John tells him that his gran's place would be perfect, it's in the middle of nowhere, and miles away from the poisonous tongues round there. Lloyd comments that he's never seen Fiz as a country girl, but John tells him that she loved it when they went there. "When are you off?" asks Lloyd. "The sooner the better," says John.

Liz and Harry are in the yard of the Rovers, and she hands him a pint. She asks him why he went back to Clarissa. "Better the devil you know," he says, but asks her to stay and have a drink with him. "Best not," she says, and moves to the door. Then she turns, "Maybe we should have that lock in we talked about," she says, "how're you fixed for tomorrow?" He says he'll be there.

Out in the Street, Lloyd is on the phone to Clarissa, telling her he saw Harry on his way to the Rovers. Then he phones Harry and tells him that he saw Clarissa heading that way. He then tells John to watch what happens next. As Clarissa marches across the road and into the pub, Harry comes from round the corner and nips back to the bookies. "Candy off a baby!" says Lloyd - it would seem both parties are paying him to spy for them!

Inside the Rovers, Clarissa looks around. "Can I help?" asks Liz, sweetly. Without a word Clarissa turns and walks out.

Blanche and Norris are at a table discussing Teresa's poisoning of Jerry, when Jerry walks in. "For the record, I made a mistake with my medication, all right?" he says, and turns round and walks out again.

Tom and Liam are at the bar, talking about Tom's forthcoming trip to the States. Carla comes in and asks why nobody thought to ask her to go too. "Maria not letting you out to play?" she asks Liam. He says he doesn't want to talk about it. "Just answer one question - is it shorts, dressing gown or sarong?" she asks. "Eh?" says Liam, puzzled. "What you wear at home," says Carla, "cos it's obviously not the trousers, is it!"

Lloyd meets Fiz and Julie in the Street and tells her John's told him that they're moving to his grandma's old place. Obviously this is the first Fiz has heard about this and she's shocked. She asks Lloyd to keep it to himself for now and goes off looking annoyed.

Jason and Becky return from looking at the flat and tell Sean it was horrible and dirty. He asks if they ought to be looking at a higher price bracket but they say they can't afford it.

John calls for Fiz, to take her for their meal. She asks why they're going out in the middle of the week - was there something he wanted to tell her? Like he's moving her out to the middle of nowhere? "According to Lloyd it's a done deal!" she says. He admits he's let his mouth run away with him, but what would be so bad about it? She tells him there's Chesney to consider, and anyway, she has a life here, responsibilities, friends. He tells her that her friends won't rest until they've broken them up and if they don't get away those small minded idiots will spoil everything. Fiz points out that he actually did the spoiling. "Once I would have followed you wherever you wanted to go," says Fiz, opening the door, "but not now, we're finished John, please don't make this any harder for me."

Annie Logan


Friday 19 September

John sits in his taxi, watching Fiz and Julie leave the house. He gets out and asks Fiz for a minute to speak to her. All he gets is a mouthful from Julie, who hustles Fiz into work.

At the Mortons' house, Darryl and the youngest, Finn, are annoyed at comments being made about rat poison by customers who think the whole thing is funny. Jerry says he'll do the shop today and see whether anyone has the brass neck to say anything to him.

Across the road, Liam makes sure Tom knows what to look for and how to handle their New York suppliers. Tom seems to be up with the play.

Norris fronts up to the counter in the kebab shop. Yep, you read that right. Jerry is surprised. "Normally we don't see you in here unless you've had a skinful and you've been thrown out of the lapdancing club," he says. Norris laughs weakly and tells Jerry how much he admires his humour. He says he's thinking about buying something for tea to save Emily cooking. It's a gesture of solidarity, because he knows it can't be good for business having a poisoner in the family (Brass? Neck?). Just as he utters the words, the poisoner walks into the shop. Jerry asks Norris whether he wants something now. Norris orders a kebab, so he can see whether Emily would like one. This gives Jerry the chance to tell Teresa he's busy. She asks whether he should be working. He points out that Darryl can't face the public, thanks to her. Jerry gives Norris his kebab and Norris tries to slow down his exit so he can keep listening. "See you, Norris," calls Jerry, pointedly. Norris unhappily leaves. "I suppose I should thank you for all the extra business," Jerry tells his ex-wife. She protests that it was Mel who showed up the family, but Jerry's having none of it. "You're toxic. You contaminate everyone and everything." He warns her to keep away, but Teresa says he can't stop her seeing her own kids. "I can, and I will," Jerry tells her. He's going to make sure the only life she messes up in the future is her own. "Now get out!" She goes.

Outside the salon, Liam and Maria discuss what they might do tonight. Carla waves as she passes.

Nearby, Vernon takes a call, saying of course he knows it's Lloyd. "Of course it's you. Nobody else talks like that," he says. Lloyd drives past and Vernon goes over to congratulate him on a nice wind-up. "Eh?" says Lloyd. "Who did you get to make the call. ‘We really like your song. Can we make a deal?'," Vernon says. Lloyd holds up his keys and tells Vernon he's just come back from an airport run. "Oh, ‘eck," mutters Vernon, staring at his phone.

Janice meets Sally and Rosie in the street. Rosie manages to walk in a way that makes me want to slap her, and I'm anti-violence! Janice doesn't lose a second in telling them about Jerry and Teresa. Rosie's phone goes. It's someone dead common from Stockport, Sally tells Janice. Rosie met him on holiday. Janice points out that there's nowt wrong wi' dead common. She's been out buying their lottery tickets. "I think we've got more chance of winning if I get them." Sally can't understand why Janice would have more chance than Rosie, since they play the same numbers every week. "We haven't had a five for ages," Janice says. Rosie is offended that Janice would think she's been keeping the winnings for herself. She thrusts a bundle of tickets at Janice and tells her to check them herself.

Vernon has clearly had good news, though he runs the risk of being run over if he keeps dancing in the street.

In the Rovers, Julie wastes no time in announcing that Fiz and John are now over. Fiz is very annoyed that her private life is being broadcast like this. John comes in and asks Fiz if they can talk. "She said everything she had to say last night," says Julie on Fiz's behalf. "Well, she had time to prepare. I didn't," John says. Wiki tells him he's just embarrassing Fiz. "We'd be fine if you didn't let these witches drip poison in your ear," John tells Fiz. "We belong together. You know that." He says she must see that moving is the best thing. Julie tells him he just doesn't want to walk past the garage every day because he's reminded of why Kevin beat him up, while Fiz has to work with the girl he betrayed her for. And every Christmas Fiz will be reminded of John wrapping nice lingerie for Rosie and bulky jimjams for Fiz. Janice can't understand how Julie knows this. She wasn't even here. "I'm going to kill Kirk," says Fiz. "Sums it up, really, though," says Sean. Fiz takes John aside and tells him quietly that she meant what she said. They get ready to go back to work. Janice says she's going to check the lottery tickets. "Cover for me with Cruella."

Liam's at home looking very restless.

In the factory, Carla tells them that because it's Friday they're going to play a little game. Julie is excited. "I knew I'd like working here." Carla says Julie can go first. All she has to do is answer a little question. But if she gets the wrong answer she has to pay a little forfeit. "Where's Janice?" "What's the forfeit?" asks Julie. Carla tells her it's a bit like monopoly, where you go to jail and don't get £200, "only you think job centre." Luckily, the phone goes, dragging Carla away. It's Liam, phoning to tell her that Tom's set off. She knows this, because Tom phoned her from the airport. Liam tells her they should meet up to discuss a few things, perhaps tonight. "I'll look forward to it," says Carla, hanging up and looking smug.

Leanne has colour swatches, but Dan's not interested. What does he think of purple? "It's a colour." Harry comes in and Leanne and Dan tease him about Clarissa. Janice comes in to get the lottery tickets checked. Vern tells Lloyd and John in the Rovers that the band who called him want (Don't Fall Into) The Mason's Arms for their next album. Then he gets a bit mournful that he won't be able to share his success with Liz. "You know she's the woman for you, but you're not the man for her - gonna write that one down . . ." he's telling them when Harry comes in. He's got a job for Lloyd. He wants him to take Clarissa to Cheshire for him. He was going to go, but something's come up. We see him exchange a meaningful glance with Liz.

In the bookies', Leanne asks Janice whether she thinks Rosie checked any of the tickets. "Probably not, lazy little mare!" says Janice. Leanne asks what she'd do if she won £25,000. Janice thinks that would be nice. "Mind you, Dan's probably right. There'd be more of me shacking up with Sally Webster." "Well," says Leanne. "You'll be able to afford a nice little love nest." Janice doesn't react. Leanne spells it out. She keeps checking the numbers and one of the tickets has won £24,887! Leanne seems thrilled, but Janice looks a bit worried. She asks Leanne to keep it quiet so she can surprise everyone. "Don't even tell Dan."

Clarissa strides along the cobbles. Well, we can only see her legs, at first, but they're surrounded by "boutique" shopping bags. "Ouch," says Lloyd. "It's not your wallet," she tells him. She explains she doctors the price tags. Lloyd breaks it to her that Harry isn't going tonight. Clarissa stomps off to sort out Harry. "I don't think she'll be doctoring the tags this time," says John. Lloyd tells him that he's due to pick up Rosie Webster from town at ten. Can John do it?

Clarissa storms into the bookies' and asks Harry what's going on. If he doesn't go, she's going to look like an overdressed tart trawling for a fella. Harry says he's got problems with the VAT and the accountant wants to see him tonight. It has to be on a Friday night because it's urgent. Leanne backs him up and agrees she took the call and it was urgent.

Janice arrives back and Julie hisses that she nearly lost her job because of Janice. Carla wants an explanation and Janice says she tripped over a stool in the Rovers and is in agony. She's been to seek medical attention. Carla is not taken in and warns her that she's being watched. When she's gone, Janice asks the others why they didn't cover for her. Sean says they gave Carla one story and Janice comes waltzing in with another. Wiki says it wasn't fair to expect them to cover for her for so long. Janice snaps that as far as she can tell, they didn't cover for her at all. Fiz says they'll buy her a drink later, but Janice says she'll buy her own. "I'm looking after number one from now on."

Darryl and Mel get home and Fin tells them they're all going to Spain. Jerry explains that friends who moved there have invited them to come and stay in their villa for a couple of weeks. "Are you two game?" Mel can't get time off at short notice. Jerry says they're going to get the youngest two away from Teresa for a bit.

John's sitting in his car watching Rosie snog her holiday romance from Stockport outside a club. Rosie tells the guy she promised her mum she'd go home. When the guy moves away, John gets out and calls to Rosie. "No chance!" she shouts. "Get! Lost!" John goes over and grabs her, forcing her into the back of the cab. "Childproof locks. Appropriate really," he says as she struggles to escape.

The End of episode one.
Margaret Carr

Where were we - oh yes John has gone psycho and has that Rosie in the back of his cab and he is giving her a bit of a ride. Calm down, it is only a soap. Not that sort of ride - no this is one down dark unlit streets (in Weatherfield?). Rosie grabs he mobile and starts making a call. Anyway Superman John not only finds he can drive but he can also grab the phone and thrown into the front foot well of the cab. Now come on - would you let go of your mobile like that? Rosie starts screaming that her parents will be worried - but as John points out they will hardly notice, just assuming that she is staying out all night in her wanton way. They continue to bicker. She tells him several times he will regret it but he tells her to shut up and then he starts driving really fast (or at least the engine makes a lot of noise).

Leanne finds Janice in the Rovers - and no-one is celebrating, seems like Janice has not thought fit to tell her colleagues in the syndicate of their little bit of luck, given that they had not covered for her absence. So she thought stuff 'em - they can wait. Apparently there are 8 in the syndicate, so it is only 3 grand each - which as Leanne observes is not really life changing. You can do a lot with twenty five grand she announces. And anyway she should get half as it was her idea not to announce the win - one of her best ideas. Janice reckons it is nearly as good as burning down one's own restaurant. Janice is starting to wonder if she can rip off her friends at work. They discuss but Janice points out that it is stealing and she cannot believe Leanne has even suggested it. They fall quiet as Roger arrives.

Liam arrives at the factory - the only person present is Carla - now why would he want to be in her company when he has Maria at home? Answers on a 20 pound note to update towers please. At least working from home Liam does not have Janice in front of him every morning. Liam denies being bored with Maria and asks after Tony - after all she seems to enjoy flirting with Tom. Carla reckons he sounds jealous. Liam departs - but Carla knows that she is getting to him once again.

Liz wants to know if Vernon is alright. He is surprised and Harry is even more surprised when Liz buys Vern a drink. Vern takes this far too positively telling Lloyd that he has a chance to win her back - he is going to get all spruced up and then come back and tell her about the record deal. Lloyd wishes him luck having observed that Harry is around. Harry is flirting with Liz at the bar and when she announces she wants a cigarette he follows her outside to the smoking shelter. She smokes and asks him if he is worried about passive smoking - but he is not. She does seem to be smoking a lot - but perhaps she needs an excuse to stay outside. He puts his drink down and they kiss (eurrrggghhh - oldies snogging - health alert). He tries to push her into the ginnel but she refuses - so he asks where. She opens the door into the Rovers and they slip in and up the stairs as Becky rings for last orders.

Eventually John comes to a stop in a deserted area and he quotes a bit of poetry: "Fortune's a right whore: If she give aught, she deals it in small parcels, That she may take away all at one swoop." Guess who wrote it, John asks. Rosie has not the faintest idea. Apparently it was John Webster - a certain irony there according to John Stape talking to Rosie Webster. He tells her that he loved teaching - it was the only thing he ever wanted to do - he could take a class of bored teenagers and he could switch them on and make them see that there was more - and she took it all away from him. And on top of that she took away the one person he loved. She says she is sorry but he does not believe her - Rosie destroyed his life in passing and hardly noticed. Whilst Rosie is around Fiz cannot forgive him, so he wants Rosie to go a long way away - he has to remove the problem blocking his happiness. He starts the car and drives on.

Ty has returned and his face his covered in spots which he claims is a shellfish allergy. Apparently he has never suffered before when eating prawn vindaloos - really says Ty - is a prawn a shellfish? So he has a selective shellfish allergy Pam rather hurriedly helps to cover up. Once Molly disappears Pam gets the truth out of Ty. Apparently they were testing acne cream - but it has had the reverse effect on Tyrone. Anyway he has five hundred pounds for the wedding fund. Pam tells him there are easier ways of making money if he sticks with her.

The taxi comes to a halt - and Rosie realises that they are back on Coronation Street. So he has brought her home. He turns to her and tells her to go indoors, pack and then she is to go as far away as possible. Mute. she nods agreement and he asks for a promise. She promises. Only then does he get out and open her door and hands back her phone. Then he asks her for the ten pound standard fare from town. Rosie quickly recovers her equilibrium and refuses to pay and tells him that she is not sorry really. In the background Lloyd is now watching events. She calls him a loser and even Fiz can see it. As she goes indoors Lloyd walks over and asks John what has happened. They head to the cab office where Vernon is looking particularly smart and is planning to save his marriage. Lloyd wishes him well as he departs.

Rosie enters home and starts crying. She tells them the events - but has to admit that John brought her home. Sophie reckons he was far too polite for a kidnapper. She reckons Rosie is making it up and seeking attention. Kev threatens to go and sort out John once and for all. However wiser councils (Sally) prevails. Better no police this time.

Sally agreeing storms over to the cab office and wants it out with John and wanting to know what he has done to upset Rosie. Lloyd laughs. John confirms he collected Rosie - but on arrival at the Street she had abused him and not paid. Lloyd confirms it - but Rosie's story seems very different.

Vern arrives at the Rovers wanting to find Liz. Becky reckons she must be in the back and he goes through. But the back room is dark and then he hears voices from upstairs and mounting the stairs he hears Harry tell Liz "That was worth waiting for". Liz responds "Definitely" and the look on Vernon's face of abject defeat is an outward reflection of his heart shattering all over again.

Sally returns home and announces that Rosie was lying. John had told hs story and Sal handed over twelve pounds - apparently Lloyd had seen it all and could confirm john's story. Rosie tries to get them to believe her story - much wailing and complaining but this does not move her forward. Sophie observes this is so typical of her sister. Sally complains to have been embarrassed, so paid up. She demands support from Kevin - but even he is starting to doubt his daughter.

And for this week it is all over. Monday will be along shortly.

K Richard W


Monday 22 September

Vernon slopes into the cafe where Lloyd is having a full English. He sits down and says he's nearly all packed. Becky inquires as to where he's going and is told that Vernon is off to London. She then takes off on a tangent, wondering if there really is a shop in London where they make made-to-measure bras and extols the virtues of a custom made one to the men who are a bit disconcerted at the image. Lloyd grins at Vernon and says Vernon's going to be famous. Becky congratulates him for selling one of his songs but of course our troubador is not in the most upbeat and optimistic of moods since his lady love is not going with him. Vernon tells Lloyd the sad story of his discovery in the back room of the pub. Vernon wonders if he might have luck with one last try? Lloyd looks dubious. Norris is at the counter, ordering a bacon sarnie but is all out of sorts. Seems Emily's house is infested with weevils.

Sophie is taking the mick out of Rosie, "the morning after" her scare. Sophie is also clamouring for a form to be filled in for a school skiing trip ("educational", apparently) and because they can't afford to pay for it, she stalks off in a strop. Rosie mentions she's seeing the scally she met on holiday so Kevin's snarking at her over that so she pecks back that he should have sold the business to Tony and everything would be ok. All in all, a typical Monday morning over breakfast.

Across the road, Harry and Liz are canoodling on the corner, flirting and cooing. Lloyd drives around the corner with Clarissa in the back and she sees her husband with the other woman. She's determined to set him up and watch him squirm to make him pay for it. (And I thought Lloyd was driving her in a taxi but it's clearly not one of Streetcars'. Must be Harry's car).

Julie fusses over Chesney who she thinks looks peaky. She suggests a tanning session and Fiz is frustrated and tetchy. John Stape, Julie points out knowingly. Chesney is of the opinion that Fiz is better off without him (I'm with yer, Ches!). Julie reckons Fiz is completely lovesick.

Clarissa enters the bookies' and questions Harry on how late he got home the night before. He lies about a late meeting and she is clearly on the prowl for something. Distracting him by chatting about the charity ball that night, she nicks his mobile which was on the counter and escapes to retrieve a scarf that she lies and says she'd left in Lloyd's car. Leanne tells Harry off for putting her in the middle between Clarissa and Liz, having to lie to each about what Harry is up to with the other. Harry just thinks it's all a good laugh. I think he'll be laughing out of the other side of his face before long. Outside, Clarissa has called up Harry's accountant and confirmed that he's not seen Harry in some time.

Sophie is off to school and in a very bad mood. Kevin apologizes but really does feel bad they can't afford her school trip. These are the kinds of things that make him feel like maybe he should sell up even if it *is* Tony Gordon. Sally seems to have changed her tune and reckons she did ok as a child who missed out on school trips. Stape comes out of the Kabin just as Sal and Kev reach the courtyard of the garage/factory. Rosie is approaching behind him and screams FREAK! at him. Her parents don't say anything to John but mutter between themselves at how unmanageable Rosie is being.

In the betting shop, Clarissa has returned, and pretends that she's not feeling all that well. Harry urges her to go home and have a lie down and look after herself. Don't worry about the ball, her health is more important.

Leanne nips out to meet Jan at the cafe and is excited about the money. She's drooling over wheely type bag with matching boots. Leopard print. (ugh!) Becky overhears something she shouldn't so Janice makes out that they've not won any money, oh, no. Would we be sat here if we did? Becky talks about a bloke she's seen on telly that won 4.8 million and reckons he's only going to buy himself a new set of screwdrivers. Money should be taken off him and given to someone with more imagination, she explains, pointing to herself. Leanne gets rid of her by ordering a coffee and they go back to plotting. Leanne figures they need to open a bank account under a false name so that if they did get caught, it would all be in the name of someone else, the cheque, the account, the lot. Janice suggests Rosie Webster since Rosie was supposed to check the lottery ticket numbers for the group at work and didn't. They can use the address of the empty flat next to Janice, the one over the kebab shop.

Sean is having a cuppa and a hobnob with Liz who's very perky and even Sean notices. She's circumspect but Sean winkles it out of her. She and Harry are "an item" and even if he's back with his wife, so what? Sean warns her. Men like Harry are scum and you'll never be able to trust him. Liz spouts all the old cliches you have heard every "other woman" spout. "You don't know him like I do, he's lovely". Sean doesn't let it go but Liz has to go answer the door. Harry. Sean goes through to the bar and shoots Harry a very disapproving look. She asks Harry to take her out tonight, somewhere special. Without a breath, he smoothly says that he was just going to ask her to the charity ball. He's even got the tickets in his coat. She's thrilled and though he tries to take her "upstairs" to talk about it but she wants to talk there, wondering why he's not taking "her Majesty". He recalls (apparently) that Clarissa made a drunken fool of herself last year. He prevents further questioning by moving in for a kiss and makes it clear that Liz has him right where she wants him. He then succeeds in pulling her upstairs.

After the break, she's dressed in the same outfit, hair and makeup looking as perfect as it did before he lured her away. She sees him off out the back door with a kiss and goes into the bar. She tells Sean she's being taken out to a posh do tonight. He is working all day and says he can't work that night as well. All work and no play and all that. He's got a hot date with a bucket of cherry vodka. Elsewhere in the pub, Kevin is shouting at Tyrone for closing the garage while he was on holiday. Tyrone defends himself and his actions (doing the medical trials) as needing the money and he reckons he's been more supportive than most would under the circumstances. He doesn't stay for a drink after that. Vernon arrives to speak to Liz and insists he really has to tell her something. He's interrupted by Deirdre who has been summoned by an emergency text. Liz takes Deirdre over to the corner and whispers about her hot date. Of course it's an emergency! She's got nothing to wear! (Doesn't Deirdre work, ever?)

In the factory, Rosie is fussing with a clip board and acting the madame to Janice who has left her machine to find out what Leanne wants. Problem, Leanne says, the bank needs a photo ID and a utility bill. Now what? Janice remembers a fella she knows that did a sideline in fake IDs. Leanne's not sure. "It's still fraud whichever way you look at it" points out Janice so she'll investigate. It'll be worth the money it's going to cost them.

Liz is trying on outfits for Deirdre's approval. The latest low cut sparkly top does not get it. "It makes your boobs look like torpedoes". "And am I right in thinking that's not a good thing?" Liz wonders? (doh) Doesn't seem like she's got anything suitable for a charity ball so the shops it is.

Vernon's in the cafe again, down in the dumps and Lloyd is trying to buck him up. Vernon gets inspired, the written word is his "mother tongue" and that's how he can get through to Liz.

In the pub, Bill reckons Kevin is being a bit hard on Tyrone. Kevin wonders if he shouldn't let Tyrone go altogether but Bill suggests he make Tyrone a partner for 30%. He'll work harder for the business then. Kevin looks thoughtful. In another booth, Janice takes a call from Leanne and makes out it's a bad news call about her "Uncle Bobby" who's taken a bad fall off an ottoman! (oh surely you can do better than that!) Julie of course, eats it up and Fiz just looks like the whole world has lost their collective minds.

Meanwhile, Deirdre tells Liz she's got to get back to work since her boss has already accused her of misusing her flexitime. Liz is still wearing the "torpedo" top but with a blue jacket and insists Deirdre help her. She wants "sexy, unpredictable, exciting". Deirdre drops a few somewhat disapproving comments but in the end, she's her mate and they end up giggling like teenagers though Deirdre does warn Liz to be careful. Liz is confident, she knows a thing or two and isn't a total idiot. (Has she actually lost her memory, then?)

In the bookies's, Harry muses about booking a hotel room. "Dead man walking" is Dan's response. Probably pretty close to the mark too. We all know Clarissa is up to something and right on cue, she sashays in with a big smile. She's feeling much better and is looking forward to the ball. Harry's face loses most of its colour. You shall go to the ball! "Just try and stop me" she says sweetly, with an evil glint in her eye.

Stay tuned for part 2 to find out who's left standing!

Tvor

In the Bookies Harry is trying to dissuade Clarissa from attending the Bookie's Do but she will not be swayed; she's going with him. Harry, seeing that he's going to have to go and give Liz the bad news, tries to escape the clutches of Clarissa by lying that he needs to go and buy a new bow-tie. But, she's onto his game and insists that she accompanies him. Harry is very annoyed. Janice comes into the bookies to plot some more with Leanne. She has managed to get a hold of some fake id for £150 from that friend of Les.

Kevin and Tyrone are standing at Tyrone's front door. Kevin is apologising to Tyrone. Kevin offers Tyrone a partnership in the garage. He tells Tyrone that he believes they can get the garage back up to its former glory and that Tyrone should share in the profits with him. He tells Tyrone to think about it.

Liam comes into Carla's office at Underworld. He's there to tell Carla that Tom, in the USA, thinks they need to have a conference call. What with time differences and everything, it seems this call will have to take place one evening. Tony interrupts them. Liam makes up some poor excuse for visiting and leaves, sharpish like. Tony tells Carla that his brother has agreed to be best man at their wedding and that he's returned early to take Carla to the fashion awards scheduled for tomorrow night. Carla refuses, point black, to go. She leaves, Tony calls Rosie into the office.

Vernon and Lloyd are outside, at the open back doors of a van. Lloyd is wearing some sort of one-man band outfit and making a racket. Becky comes out to find out what all the noise is. She can see Vernon is upset. Harry and Clarissa pull up next to them. Harry tries to get Lloyd to take Clarissa home but Clarissa insists on not letting Harry out of her sight and tells him she'll go home with him. Becky and Lloyd urge Vernon to go and speak to Liz now, while the coast is clear, what with Harry not being able to escape from Clarissa's grasp. "Yeah," Becky tries to persuade him, "How can she choose if she don't know what's on t'menu? Go ooooon, you tell her what the special is!"

In the factory, Sally asks Rosie if she's going to be having tea with them tonight. Rosie tells her that she's off shopping for something "strappy" for the fashion awards, since Tony told asked her to go and gave her money to buy something. Sally confronts Tony, outraged that he would be encouraging her daughter to dress inappropriately. Rosie is embarrassed beyond belief. Tony tells her that he thinks Rosie is mature enough to represent their business and she'll be chaperoned, of course, by him. "I thought it might be useful to Rosie, if she's interested in a career in fashion," he remarks and then asks, "Shall I find someone else?" Julie immediately volunteers her services but Sally gives her blessing.

Vernon goes into the Rovers, looking for Liz. Steve tells him that Liz is out shopping but that he'll tell Liz that Vernon was looking for her. Steve attempts to say goodbye to Vernon but struggles to find the words to express exactly how he feels about his ex-step-father. He settles for, "Good luck, eh, mate!"

In the Bookies, Dan offers to finish up so his Dad and Clarissa can get off. Clarissa still won't let Harry out of his sight so he can go and see Liz and tell her that her evening's cancelled. He tries to enrol Dan in a lie so he can escape for a while but Dan refuses to be drawn into it.

Out in the street, Harry and Clarissa are just getting into the car to go home and get ready for the do when they see Liz across the road. "Ooh, someone's been splashing out!" says Clarissa, all sarcastic and with a wicked grin on her face. Liz, with her hair done in some kind of side sweep thing is stopped by Vernon who wants to talk to her but Liz doesn't have the time. She leaves him, disappointed, in the street.

In the Rovers, Rosie's holiday fling boyfriend is trying to buy a pint of lager from Becky. She asks him for ID. When he produces it she tells him she knows all the forging tricks and refuses to serve him. He protests that he is actually 19 but by this time, Becky has moved on to another customer. She tells him she'll come back to him. Tony and Carla come into the bar where Maria and Liam are having a drink. They decide to share a bottle of wine and Carla tells them she'll order it. She leans over to Liam to take his money, since it's his round, and whispers something unintelligible to Liam who smiles at her. Tony sits down next to Maria and they talk about Tom wooing the American women with his English accent. Carla comes back to get some change for the drinks order only to hear Tony tell her that he gave all his cash to Rosie to get an outfit for the fashion awards since Carla won't go with him. Carla doesn't seem pleased. Tony and Carla both get up to do something. When they're gone, Maria tells Liam she can see through Tony's game playing to try and show Carla up and says, "D'ya know what? I almost feel sorry for 'er!"

Out in the street, Vernon is sitting at his drum kit. Janice asks him what he's doing. "Refusing to be ignored!" says Vernon and he starts bashing away on his drums. Deirdre comes out to see what the noise is all about. Vernon tells her that he won't stop until he's spoken to Liz. Becky comes out to provide a little bit of encouragement. Liz shouts out the window, "What is going on?" When Vernon tells her he has something for her, Liz says, "Not now, eh Vernon? Tomorrow?" Tomorrow isn't good enough for Vernon and he bangs on his drums again. Liz appeals to Deirdre to do something. Deirdre promises to give Vernon what ever it is that he wants to give her. He hands her a letter and a shocking pink cowboy hat. He tells Deirdre that Liz'll know what the hat is for if she reads the letter. He makes Deirdre promise to make Liz read the letter today.

Julie, who has joined Vernon outside, offers to take Janice for a pint since she heard about Janice's uncle dying.

Upstairs in the newly-created kitchen/living space, Deirdre urges Liz to read the letter from Vernon telling her that she promised Vernon that she would. Liz asks Deirdre to read it to her. The letter reads:

"My dear Liz, I'm leaving a man both liberated and condemned. Liberated because suddenly the world wants to hear what I've got to say; I've got a record deal. Condemned because the person I'd want to share it with is looking elsewhere. Harry is a vagabond, he will break your heart. Try to imagine for a minute, a different way, where feelings might be smaller, less passionate but you are loved and looked after. I know I'd never throw your heart into the sky, make it fly, but I could walk beside you along life's path, pointing out the potholes and holding your hand when you're afraid. I leave tonight. I'll park my van on the corner at 20:00. At 20:20, I'll go with 20-20 vision of where I stand. If you'll come with me, share my dream, step outside in the hat. If you're there to say goodbye, don't wear the hat. If you do neither, I'll know how little I meant. Three choices. Please, for the sake of our history and my love for you, make it option one or two. Ever yours, Vernon."

While Deirdre breaks down in tears reading the letter, Liz muses that Vernon is the kind of man that ticks nine out of ten of her boxes but he lacks something she can't describe. She knows it's something that Harry has though.

Outside, Vernon parks his van, awaiting his fate. He puts on a big black cowboy hat adorned with a note reading, "Will you come with me?" and plays "Vernon's Soul Mix" on his cassette player. It's 8pm exactly.

Harry and Clarissa pull up outside the Bookies. Clarissa has left her purse and leaves Harry in the car for a couple of minutes. Harry asks Lloyd, who is driving the car, for a big favour- he needs to get a message to Liz that the evening is cancelled. Lloyd doesn't want to do his dirty work though and hands Harry his phone saying, "You tell 'er!" Clarissa comes back out into the street and tells Harry that she needs a G&T. She heads in the direction of the Rovers.

Inside the Rovers, Kevin is talking to Sally and fuming about Tony giving Rosie the cash to go and buy a dress for the fashion awards. Sally reminds Kevin that this is an opportunity for Rosie and will be good for her. He says, "She's showing great skill in knowing what's good for 'er, ain't she?" and he throws a glance towards Rosie's boyfriend.

At the bar, Liz is looking gorgeous in her new frock and talking with Becky and Deirdre. Clarissa comes in looking equally gorgeous with Harry all tuxedoed up behind her. She asks Liz smugly if she's going somewhere special. "Yeah," says Becky, "It'd better be special, the amount she's spent on that frock." Disappointed, Liz can see that Clarissa has foiled her night out and heads out to the back, tearing her new dress on the bar on the way.

Rosie comes into the bar and greets her bloke. She goes to give him a kiss but he resists. It seems he has overheard all the talk about Tony giving her cash to buy a frock in order to go out seducing the clients. Rosie asks him if he's jealous. Kevin is behind them, in a booth, telling Sally he's going to have a word with Tony. Sally asks him not to ruin Rosie's chances and reminds her that it's not about the garage any more. Kevin tells Sally that he's offered Tyrone a share in the garage. Sally is gobsmacked that he would do so without discussing it with her first.

Outside, Vernon is waiting but no Liz as yet. Lloyd asks Vernon if he should go and remind Liz that Vernon's waiting but Vernon refuses. John Stape says, "He needs to know that she wants him. Can't make 'em love you, even if you know that you're the best person for them." They watch as Rosie and her fella come out of the pub and snog for a bit. Rosie gives John a bit of the evil eye as she walks past.

Upstairs in the Rovers, Liz is distraught. She mentions how much money she spent on the dress etc. Deidre tells her that they'll take the dress back first thing in the morning but Liz reminds her that it's torn. Liz notices the cowboy hat and the clock. It's 8:19. Out in the street, Vernon gives up. He tells Lloyd goodbye and drives away. As he pulls away around the corner, Liz runs out but she's too late. Deirdre reminds her that this wouldn't be the answer to her troubles anyway.

As Vernon drives through the street, he passes Janice and Leanne who are looking at their fake ID. They wonder if they'll get away with their lottery ticket scam. I just want to mention how despicable I think Janice and Leanne are for this. I can kind of forgive the prostitution from Leanne but ripping off your friends is unforgiveable!

Clarissa and Harry leave the Rovers and get into the car. As they cross the street, Liz and Deirdre stand watching from the corner. Liz asks why she never learns when it comes to the wrong men? Deirdre offers to go and put her best frock on and come and sit in the Rovers with Liz. As Harry pulls away, Liz watches him and says, "He'll regret this though, I'll make sure of it!"

Stella McLoughlin


Wednesday 24 September

In the garage, Sophie is telling her dad he should have charged Tyrone for his share of the garage….a sum that would just about cover her school ski trip. Rosie comes along and scoffs at the idea of this trip, it's not proper travel in her eyes. "So what's proper travel?" asks Bill. "Well, real people, real places," sneers Rosie. "Oh, so the resort's run by snowmen?" asks Sophie. "Resort!" scoffs Rosie again. Kevin points out that she didn't mind being in a resort when she was sunning herself in Majorca.

Deirdre sees Liz in the Street, who tells her that Harry's been texting her apologies all morning. She's obviously upset that she didn't get to go to the ball and she missed saying goodbye to Vernon. Deirdre offers a shoulder for her to cry on.

In the bookies, Dan is telling Harry to beware of Liz, hell hath no fury!

Janice goes to see Leanne, dressed rather like a child in a smock top and leggings. She's about to go to the bank and pretend to be Rosie Webster so they can set up the fake bank account.

Carla sees Liam walking the dog, she's off to the florist's to sort out the flowers for her forthcoming wedding. She tells him to come round to her place that evening, Tom is calling from New York.

Liz goes to see Lloyd and says she's been a fool, she had her head turned by Harry and let Vernon down. She now wants to put things right. Lloyd tells her that Vernon didn't leave a forwarding address. Liz explains that it's not Vernon she wants to see, but Clarissa. She wants to speak to her in private and Lloyd is the only one she can trust.

Tony goes to see Kevin and makes him a final offer. Tyrone says he thought the last one was the final offer. Just then Rosie comes up behind Tony, wittering on about the outfit she's bought for the Fashion Awards shindig she's accompanying him to. She pulls out something skimpy. "Where's the rest of it?" asks Kevin and asks Tony if that's his idea of business, sending his daughter out looking like a street walker. Furiously he tells Tony he's thinking of sticking his last and final offer somewhere the sun doesn't shine! "Nice one Kev," says Tyrone, as Tony walks away. "Is it?" asks Kevin, grimly, "what am I really fighting for, the right to be skint? I can't even afford to send me kid away on a school holiday." "But you will next year," says Tyrone, adding, "hey partner, I'm right behind you!" And he tells Kevin that he's decided to go in with him and become his partner.

Lloyd takes Clarissa into the Rovers to see Liz and they go in the back room. She tells Clarissa that Harry has got them both on strings, he's playing one off against the other. Clarissa doesn't believe her, and flashes her ring saying that proves he loves her. Liz gets out her phone and brings up a text message which says that Clarissa is a nightmare and when they danced he wished it was with Liz. Angrily Clarissa takes the phone and reads the message. "Anyone can write a text," she sniffs. Liz says how he's been saying that sort of thing for months, but she only started to believe him when he said it to her in bed. "I think Harry needs to know the party's over," says Liz, "don't you?" Clarissa looks at her, and smiles!

Liam's in the kitchen, on the phone to Carla about their meeting, when Maria comes downstairs, she's feeling ill, she's been really sick. Liam goes off to get something from the chemist for her, but really it's an excuse to phone Carla back and tells her he can't make their meeting after all.

Out in the Street, Janice is reporting back to Leanne about how she went to the shop and handed in the winning lottery ticket.

In the bookie's, Harry's mobile phone rings, he rushes to grab it before anyone else can. It's Liz, so he sends Clarissa out the back to make tea. Liz tells him he made her look a fool, so he has some serious making up to do. Faltering, he turns and asks Clarissa if she can lock up the shop that evening, and reluctantly agrees to go and see Liz, pretending that his caller is someone called Leo.

Tony goes home to Carla, who hands him a glass of wine and tells him that she is now able to come to the Fashion Awards with him. He says he'll call Rosie and tell her she's on the subs bench. So he rings her mobile, but as she doesn't answer he leaves a message asking her to call him back.

Harry goes over to see Liz and starts to hug and kiss her.

Out in the bar, Kevin is telling Rita how Tyrone is going to come into business with him.

Rosie comes in wearing her skimpy outfit. "You are not going out dressed like that!" says Kevin, but she tells him it too ages to get into it and she's not slobbing in front of tv in it. Just then Tony comes in and breaks the news that there's been a change of plan. Carla is going instead. Rosie is aghast, and he says she should have answered her phone. "Ah, all dressed up and nowhere to go!" says Janice, sarcastically. Rosie tells her to keep away from her unless she wants a beer shampoo. Kevin tries to hustle Rosie home, but, angry, she turns on him and reveals that she passed all the information about the garage business over to Tony. "I did it to help you but you were too thick to see it!" she cries. "Tell me you didn't do it! Tell me you've not been sneaking round behind me back!" yells Kevin. "You're a dinosaur, Dad," says Rosie, "even Mum thinks so." Sally protests that she never said that, as Kevin storms out of the pub.

In the back room, Harry is stripped to his underpants and his nibbling Liz's neck. As he's trying to urge her upstairs, Clarissa comes and stands in the doorway, camera poised. "Take all the time you need," she says and clicks as he turns round. "It won't help me in court but it'll give the girls at the solicitor's a good giggle." Liz throws his clothes to Clarissa who marches out through the bar. Harry follows, in his state of undress, much to the amusement of all the customers.

Maria wakes up on the sofa with Liam. She's been sleeping off her food poisoning.

Kevin is sitting up when Rosie comes in. "Is there nothing you want to say to me?" he asks. She says she already said it all, she tried to help his business but he wasn't happy. Kevin asks if she couldn't see how she was being manipulated. "Manipulated into tripling your turnover?" asks Rosie. Kevin wonders where he went wrong, he's grafted all his life and sent her to private school. He stuck up for her, even went to jail for her. "And then you do this." She tells him he brought her up to be ambitious, but the minute she shows any initiative he slaps her down to size. He says that's not ambition, it's stabbing him in the back. He tells her she holds these people up, Tony with his flash cars, Saj with his travels. "If you want to travel, travel," he says, "we won't hold you back." She accuses him of kicking her out. "All right, I'll go," she says. "Lets see how you cope without your dad to blame or your mum to bail you out," he says. "but you're a spoiled little girl and I don't think you'd last a week!"

Anne Logan


Friday 26 September


As the forecasters predict sleet (SLEET!!) for tomorrow, here I am with another nice warm first episode for Friday.

Sophie's getting ready for school. As she leaves, Rosie arrives down and gets a hard time from Sally, who demands she apologise to Kevin. Kevin says to let her go. He's sick of the sight of her. But he is looking forward to the arrival of his new pick-up.

Harry arrives at the bookies', moaning about Dan's sofa. He tells Dan he's heading up north, then who knows. Yes, he's leaving. Dan wants to know where all this springs from. But Harry says he needs some space for a bit. He's sick and tired of chasing the women and making a fool of himself. Dan is worried, but Harry says he'll be fine. He's going to catch up with all his old mates. Dan says he's always got a home here if he needs it. Dan sniffs hard and hugs his dad.

At the factory, the workers are taking their time giving Rosie a hard time over her being stood up by Tony Gordon. Sean wonders whether Tony was deliberately trying to humiliate her. Rosie claim's she's not bothered. She got a new outfit out of it. Carla and Tony come in and he gives them 20 seconds to get back to work. Once they're alone, Carla tells Tony that was all their fault and it wouldn't hurt to give Rosie a bit of a boost. She tells him to take Rosie to lunch.

In the taxi office, Steve's telling Lloyd he's all ready for Michelle's return. He plans to knuckle down and be the perfect boyfriend. John comes in. He's very grumpy.

Near the bookies', Harry puts a carryall into the boot and gets into his car.

Liam and Carla meet in the street. He tells her Tom will call him at three in the afternoon. He suggests she take half an hour off to be there, since she's put money into the business.

Harry takes a last look at the street and drives off. Liz sees him go.

In the factory office, Tony offers Rosie lunch at Baden House and tells her to go home to get ready. Rosie gloats to the machinists that she's being taken to lunch and that Tony's told her to go home, have a shower and change. "Have her scrubbed and perfumed and brought to my tent!" scoffs Sean. Sally says Rosie is a management trainee. Hasn't he ever heard of a working lunch?

In the salon, Audrey tells a client that the holiday was very nice, but wasn't quite her cup of tea. She said Ted's a lovely man, but you can only take so many statues. And the galleries were so quiet they might have been cathedrals. Liam calls in to see how Maria is and that she's not too disappointed at not being pregnant.

Janice and Leanne are at a table in the Rovers and give Fiz and Sean the brush-off. They've got family stuff to talk about. Fiz points out that it's her birthday, something Janice had forgotten. Janice tells Leanne her blood pressure has gone sky high with stress. Leanne tells her to relax. The others aren't going to find out about it.

In a chandeliered restaurant, Rosie seems thrilled. In the ladies they have pictures of the spa and bedrooms. Tony says they should make a day of it some time, and have a few treatments. In fact, a visit could be a works outing each year. Rosie can't see Sean and Janice in a place like this, but Tony says he meant executives – "you and Carla." He says she's shown herself to be trustworthy and loyal. Rosie tells him her dad thinks she's a traitor. She explains that she's let slip that she gave Tony information about the garage business. That worries him. But he tells her she's brighter and more ambitious than her mother. "No terraced house and dead-end job for you." The wine arrives and he chuckles as Rosie swigs it back.

Kevin's on his mobile giving directions. He cuts the connection and tells Tyrone, "It's coming!" He tells Tyrone he can hear it. "Have you gone and bought a tank?" asks Tyrone, Kevin says it's meant to sound that way – and round the corner comes a very tired looking tow truck. Kevin's very proud. Tyrone says it's leaking oil. "She's a workhorse, not a beauty queen," Kev says. The driver gets out and almost kicks it. "Temperamental old cow!" he says. Tyrone has the sense not to comment.

In the pub, Steve's bought some chrysanths from Dev's. He's being teased by his mum and Lloyd. Ryan comes in and stands by Steve. Steve smalls him and declares he's used too much after-shave. Steve's so busy giving him advice on how to woo a woman without the need for too much after-shave that he doesn't notice Michelle sneak into the bar behind him. She hugs Steve and then Ryan. "Ooh, what's that terrible smell?" They go into the back and Lloyd rues his lack of a family.

In the bookies' office, Leanne is caught looking at an online banking site. Luckily, Dan doesn't think anything of it.

Rosie's had a big lunch and even more to drink. Tony says he's not taking her home until she's sobered up. Rosie tries to order a liqueur, but Tony insists she just have a coffee. He tells her to take the afternoon off. He says Carla would rather that than have her drunk at work. "I know what you're doing," Rosie tells him. "You've not got me fooled." "As if," says Tony. "Who could possibly fool you?"

Steve and Michelle are getting very friendly in the back of the Rovers.

Carla is at Liam's. She's giving him a come-on, while he's trying to stay very businesslike. She wants him to model a fancy new T-shirt. The phone goes. It's not Tom but a double-glazing salesman.

John's cleaning out the cab after someone was sick in it. He sees a celebrating Fiz and Sean run across the road, laughing, and it just makes him more bitter. He offers to do a double shift. He's not in the mood for a happy night in the pub.

Rosie gets up to leave the table, though Tony's worried she won't manage it. She puts something down on the table in front of him and says she has a little surprise for him. It's a room key. She saunters off, looking back and telling him not to keep her waiting. Tony is startled and catches the waiter with a huge grin on his face. "You'll be staying with us, sir. I hadn't realised," says the waiter, wiping the grin away. "No, neither did I," Tony says.

Janice is skiving off during the teabreak and Leanne logs into their new account.

Liam models one of the shirts. Carla tries to persuade him to try on a tight Lycra one. He suggests they give up waiting for the phone call. Carla suggests they have a nice drink at the Rovers instead.

Tony opens the door to a room. "Rosie." All we can see is the back of her head, one naked shoulder and the champagne glass she's holding.

Uh oh.
For more, wait for the second episode.
Margaret Carr

Good afternoon. I have been busy sitting in Glenda's seat on the weekly updates, so if the detail of the individual episode updates gets too much remember there is an alternative! It is far more comfortable in the weekly update office - this is all a bit spartan!

Anyway back to the action. Tony enters the bedroom and sitting in front of him wearing as little as she decently can (a white basque revealing most of her breasts and all of her legs) Rosie offers him a glass of champagne (but clearly there is rather more on offer than that). Tony is immediately in charge snapping at her to get dressed and throws her dress at her suggesting that her dad might not care for her to be behaving this way. Rosie cannot believe that he cares about Kevin and says so! Tony orders coffee from room service - black and tells her again to get dressed. Rosie in disbelief, as she cannot grasp that not all men want her body, grabs her clothes and heads to the bathroom to dress.

Ty and Kev are checking the "new" breakdown truck, even Lloyd wandering past asks if Wacky Races has taken a wrong turn. Kev is irrepressible, seeing it as the start of a big new world. Kev asks Lloyd if Streetcars would come back on board - Lloyd points out they are getting the work done dead cheap - but Kevin makes it clear that he will be cheaper still. Later they celebrate the contract being back with a drink in the Rovers.

Leanne has now got the grasp of on-line banking and the funds are there! They are celebrating when Dan returns and they use the explanation of being left some money by the late Uncle Bobby. Janice and Leanne go to the Rovers agreeing as they go to keep the inheritance low key - and Janice agrees saying that Low Key is her middle name. No I don't believe it either.

Carla and Liam are in the Rovers when Tom phones - he is obviously having a good time in New York. The leave meeting Janice arriving and the death of Uncle Bobby is used to justify Janice's absence from work - although she promises to make the time good. Carla then gives Liam a swift kiss goodbye, which knocks him backwards, but she says it was just a friendly kiss.

Steve and Michelle are obviously enjoying being back together again the latter asking Becky if Steve has behaved himself. She denies it saying that "he has been all over her like Vanessa Feltz over a roast chicken" - it sounds humourous but means nothing unless you know that VF is a tv presenter who looks as though she rather like consuming food.

Jerry is preparing the departure for Spain but as it is boring I will ignore it. However it is no holiday (what holiday - who mentioned any holidays) but that they are going for good and he was not telling the kids until they get there - along the lines of we are not going home. Does anyone really behave like this? No - so do the scriptwriters think we are all stupid? Bring back the Nirab cult.

Steadily sobering up Rosie has had enough coffee (and has some clothes on now). She wants to know what Tony was playing at - plying her with alcohol in a hotel. Tony responds by sacking her - once he has told Carla everything she will agree. Rosie is a liability, immature and spoilt. Rosie calls Carla spoilt and Tony points out that there is a huge difference between the mature Carla whom he loves and the brat in front of him. Empty headed Rosie responds in her usual way - motormouth wide open with her feet in it up to her armpits and points out that Carla is not particularly whiter than white. She gets her mobile phone, finds and runs the video of the snogfest between Carla and Liam from a little while ago, pointing out that perhaps Tony and Carla might have more important matters to discuss than little old Rosie.

Tony claims he knew already as Carla had told him everything - but Rosie points out that Carla goes to huge lengths to keep her sweet - buying her the handbag and whilst she might be a brat she is not stupid. Tony asks how long ago - a few months but it might well still be going on right under his nose (and his crooked eye). Tony's phone rings - Carla - Tony lies and says he is out with an old school friend who was passing by on business, having a drink and then going to the casino. He is not sure when he will be home. Rosie asks why he lied. Tony turns nasty - he wants a chat with her and she is going to tell everything she knows - she claims it was just the kissing but Tony wants to know more.

In the Rovers a half cut Janice insists on buying another round of drinks - this little inheritance is not going very far is it? Roger wants to know how much but Leanne points out that discussing money is rude. Roger jokes that he wonders what Janice would be like if she had won the lottery. Janice whispers loudly that she is trying to keep it low key after Leanne has a go at her. Then shouts for a round of tequilas!

Kev wants to know about school from Sophie. After asking about 6 times she tells him she got an A star for the project in media studies (probably an essay on watching Coronation Street - must have been a walk in park). Apparently she actually set up a forum on the school website where pupils could post comments and developed a complex filter which kept out all swear words. This has been taking months - and Kev had not even noticed given how Rosie kept them all so occupied. Indeed if Sophie was the first school girl in space they would not notice if Rosie simultaneously broke a nail. Kev says that it is time for change and gives her a twenty pound note. He then suggests she helps in the garage to save for the next school trip. Sophie smiles and goes. Sally rushes to Rosie's defence but Kev points out that Rosie is 18. Both he and Sal had left home and had their own places at 18 and he cannot wait for Rosie to do the same. (So true says the update writer thinking of his own departure from home and the daughters still living in his house).

Rosie is delighted and retrieves her phone. Tony wants to know if it is still going on. Rosie says she does not know - but she says that Liam is always calling Carla and turning up at the factory. Anyway she wants to go home. Tony pushes her down and tells her that she is to say nothing on the subject to anyone. He demands her phone and tells her that her job is safe if she says nothing. She is startled but agrees. Tony says very menacingly "No-one is ever going to know about this, are they Rosie?". She nods but she can see that she may have unleashed some real trouble.

Roll credits.
Back next week. But will we see Rosie?
K Richard W


Monday 29 September

Janice comes scuffling along early. Leanne is still in her dressing gown and has popped down to get the milk. She questions why Janice was up so early. Seems Jan wanted to get to the mail first (The door to her flat is also the door to a common hallway which includes the other flat) and lo and behold, the bank card for the fraudulent account has arrived! Janice is too scared to open it so Leanne rips the envelope and sure enough, there's the card. Their excitement bubbles over but Leanne warns Jan not to spend too much because people talk. Janice still thinks one bottle of bubbly will be ok.

Bill and Kevin are chatting about building the garage business up again, over their morning toast. Sophie has a flyer that she's done up on the computer to advertise the garage. Not just a pretty face, is our Sophie! Sally runs down the stairs and breathlessly says that Rosie isn't upstairs nor has her bed been slept in.

Tony is the first one out into the flat while Carla is in the shower. He tries to sneak a peek at her date book but hears her coming and puts it back in her purse, pouring coffee to cover his actions. He must not have come to bed when he got home late last night so as not to wake her from the sounds of it. But he also comes clean and says Rosie tried to seduce him at lunch yesterday. You what???? Carla's jaw drops.

Back to the Webster household, Sally's fretting. Rosie usually rings. Kevin and Sophie both figure Rosie is just staying out on purpose to wind them up.

Tony has told Carla everything. He says he went to the room in the first place to sober her up and confirms that he would never having anything on with Rosie. He figures he was harder on her than he probably had to be and she reacted badly, very embarrassed. Tony left her there, deciding it was better to get out of the way before Rosie decided to try to make things worse. Carla vows to have words with Rosie but is somewhat understanding. Rosie's young and we all do stupid things. Just then, a phone rings. It's not a familiar ring tone (because it's Rosie's phone in Tony's pocket) but Tony says he's changed the ring tone. It's "home" calling so Tony just cancels the call.

Which of course, infuriates Sally and she is now leaning towards the Rosie temper tantrum theory of relatives but Sally is still worried.

Next door, Kayleigh and Findlay are deciding what to pack for their holiday in Spain. Of course they don't know it's permanent and Mel keeps her mouth shut. Darryl comes in and he too can't bring himself to be the one that breaks the news.

Roger is finally up out of bed and is greeted by champagne and orange juice. Janice tempts him to pull a morning sickie with her. He agrees and calls a client to put them off until later. Janice calls in with a dicky tummy which Carla knows is probably a lie. Carla hollers at her and hangs up. Sally catches the tail end of it and inquires whether it was Rosie. When she discovers it wasn't, she admits Rosie didn't come up and tentatively asks if Tony did. Of course he did, Carla snips. Sally apologizes, she's just worried. But it does leave Carla with a few unwanted thoughts.

Jerry comes into the shop and sees Darryl industriously cleaning the counter top. Jerry admits he has to leave because if he stays, he might end up taking Teresa back. Darryl has thought about coming along but it really didn't appeal to him. He's happy in Weatherfield with his mates and work and all. Jerry and Darryl have a nice moment so it looks like Daz is going to keep the business running for now though Jerry does say he might look for a new business in Spain. (What's he going to use for dosh? Will he sell the kebab shop out from under Darryl? I guess we'll just have to wait and see).

The factory bees are having their tea break and gossiping which doesn't go down well with Sally. In the office, Carla is telling Tony what Sally told her. Tony figures she's just hiding, tail between her legs. Sally interrupts and asks Tony if Rosie seemed ok or said she was going anywhere. Tony says he has no idea but when Sally leaves, Carla quizzes him as to why he didn't tell Sally about Rosie's antics. He figures it wouldn't help anything, and might only humiliate Rosie more by letting her mother know. Carla buys that one but asks if Tony has told her everything. He assures her that Rosie was just having a tantrum.

After the break, we're with Roger and Janice. She's told him how much she's "inherited". He's impressed. They chat about what they could do with the money including a deposit on their own place. Big step, buying a place together but Roger thinks it's a great idea. Janice speculates about getting odds and ends and clothes and Roger points out the telly has seen better days. Ooh! That's it! They decide to nip out and get a new telly!

In the factory, they're still gossiping about Rosie's disappearance. Sally admits she didn't come home last night. Julie is sympathetic, at least but most everyone things Rosie is just fine. Sally just wants her home. So she can kill her! She tries calling again.

Jerry nips over to Gail's. He reveals that he's not coming back. She's gobsmacked. That's a turn up! He again admits it's because of Teresa. She realizes that he wants her to keep an eye out for the twins and he gives her his mobile number. Gail assures Jerry she'll miss him but will still have the shed to remind her! They have a hug goodbye, former adversaries seem to have made friends in the end.

Carla is out of the office and Tony goes into her desk and grabs some bank statements. He notices Liam's name coming up on Carla's mobile. He is stood away from the desk before she returns to try to catch the phone which she doesn't. It stops ringing and Tony asks if it was anyone important. No, she dismisses. He's turned away from her and he's not looking too cheerful.

Lloyd is trying to figure out the racing form with Leanne. She really doesn't have much of a clue how to judge a horse so she's no help. Dan returns to the room, and from the sounds of it, he's talking to Harry who's offering him the chance to buy the business. Dan hasn't got the money so he's pretty angry and hangs up. He says Harry's got himself in to a right mess and is selling up. (Wow, that was fast! He's only been gone five minutes!) Dan is upset now, he'll be out of a job and a home. Leanne's face falls, too, since she's in the same boat.

Sally approaches Kevin and Bill who are having a sandwich in front of the garage. She's still not heard from Rosie and has rung her mates. Kevin admits he's had words with Rosie the other night but Sally doesn't think that would have made her take off. Kevin remembers Rosie's story about John Stape and wonders if that could have been true after all? Maybe they're actually seeing each other again and that kidnap story was a coverup! Kevin's dander is up and he charges off to get to the bottom of it, with Sally hot behind him to prevent him from thumping John again.

Gail is watching Jerry pack up the cab as Kevin and Sally rush by. Lloyd directs them to the pub. The rest of the Mortons are out on the pavement to say goodbye to the little ones. The older ones hug their dad sadly. Mel melts into tears after they drive off in the cab. Gail reminds them she's just next door if needed.

John is defending himself in the pub. He wouldn't touch Rosie with a bargepole! Sally believes him, Kevin isn't sure but threatens him with the police if Rosie doesn't show up. Tony overhears and says he has to tell them something. Fiz comes over to see if John is ok but doesn't stay to talk. Outside Tony has told the Websters that he took Rosie to lunch and gives them an abbreviated version of what happened, only saying that Rosie came on to him and he left her there. Kevin thinks it is probably the other way around, Tony making a play for Rosie! Kevin of course, thinks the worst of Tony and threatens him. "If you've laid one finger on her, I'll kill yer!" (Uh oh, is that a portent of doom?)

Tvor

The police are at Sally & Kevin's place asking about Rosie. Sophie, not happy with all the attention Rosie manages to engineer for herself, makes sure the police know what a trouble maker Rosie is before she heads back out to school. She tells Sally that she'll see her at teatime unless she decides she's going to disappear as well. Kevin tells the police that he is sure that Tony Gordon has something to do with his daughter's disappearance.

Carla is in her office, on the phone, leaving a message for Rosie. She tells Rosie she knows what happened between Rosie and Tony and she wants to reassure Rosie that she's got nothing to worry about but that everyone is worried about her and pleads with Rosie to call and let them know she's OK. Tony comes in and tells Carla that he had to tell Kevin about what happened between him and Rosie since Kevin had been threatening John Stape with the police. Kevin has not taken it well and accused Tony of making the pass at Rosie. He knows the police are in with Kevin now and he expects them to come and question him soon. He tells Carla he will tell the police the truth of what happened with Rosie.

The police are still with Kevin and Sally. Kevin is alleging that Tony Gordon has had a hand in Rosie's disappearance, citing that a 17year old wouldn't risk her job by making a play for her boss. Hah! He doesn't know our Dosie Wobster very well, does he? The police ask why they let Rosie go out with Tony and then question Sally and Kevin about Rosie's affair with John Stape. The police remind Kevin of how he's not on good terms with with either Tony Gordon or John Stape.

Out in the street, Dan sees Janice and Roger lugging a new tv up to the flat and urges Leanne to spend some of her "inheritance". Leanne tells him she's saving hers for something special but won't say what. When Leanne and Dan leave, Leanne throws Janice an annoyed look.

Back at the Websters' the police are looking through Rosie's address book for contacts. She asks Sally and Kevin if they've had any disagreements of late. They mention that Rosie has met a lad on holiday who they weren't too chuffed about. They give his name, Saj, and mention that Rosie hasn't taken her passport with her. The police say they'll do their best to find her but that Rosie will likely turn up of her own accord. Sally and Kevin see the police woman out. "Happy now?" asks Sally of Kevin when the police woman has left. Kevin tells her, "Now they're off to see that slime ball down the road, yeah!"

Janice comes back to Underworld and apologises to Carla for not being in for the morning. She is surprised when Carla doesn't give her an ear bashing and asks Fizz what's up with her. Fizz tells her that Carla has bigger things on her mind and they look in the direction of where the police are standing. "What's happened?" asks Janice. Fizz tells her that Rosie hasn't been home all night. Ooooh, Janice! You're in trouble!

In the Rovers, Maria and Michelle are gossiping about Rosie when Becky and Jason come in, happy to announce that they have found a one bedroom flat. Becky asks Michelle if she can have some more shifts in the pub to make up the rent. They make plans to go and break the news to Eileen.

In Underworld, the police are questioning Tony Gordon. They ask him why he went up to Rosie's room if he knew what Rosie had in mind. He says he didn't want Rosie to feel humiliated and thought he could let her down gently. He tells how she was a bit upset when he left but he couldn't see a way of making things better so he left. The police tell Tony how Kevin thinks it was Tony who made the pass at Rosie. Tony denies this point blank.

At Streetcars, Eileen is wearing her hair off her face which makes her look younger. Jason and Becky go to tell Eileen the news of them moving out. They think Eileen will be upset but Eileen is very happy to be rid of Jason's smelly socks.

Carla comes into the office at Underworld to ask about how Tony went with the police. Tony tells her he only told them the truth and that the police will probably want to speak to her as well. He goes on to tell her that he'll be out for the evening with the same "friend" he spent time with the evening before. He tells Carla she's welcome to join them but she would likely be bored. Carla passes on the offer.

At Streetcars, the police come to ask John Stape a few questions somewhere quiet. John, who is in the office with Lloyd and Eileen tells the police woman that he can answer questions in front of Eileen and Lloyd because they won't ask him anything that isn't common knowledge. He tells the police that he is the teacher who had the affair with Rosie Webster but that he wasn't her teacher when they slept together. The police ask when he last saw her. He denies trying to kidnap her and tells the police they'd have to ask Rosie why she would say that he did but that even her mother didn't believe Rosie's story. John's story is all very plausible and can he can be vouched for by Lloyd. John tells the police that he thought for a moment that by disappearing so soon after he allegedly tried to kidnap her, Rosie was trying to set him up but then he realised that Rosie doesn't hate him that much and that she's probably not clever enough to think of that, either. He says he doesn't know a thing about her disappearance and he has an alibi for his whereabouts last night.

Tony is sitting in his lovely Mercedes, brooding. He is looking through one of Carla's statements and sees a debit for £50,000 to "Lads Rags". He looks menacingly out of the windscreen.

Tom knocks on Liam's front door. "Well, if it isn't the Casanova of Coney Island!" exclaims Liam when he sees his mate. He invites Tom in but Tom wants a pint in the Rovers to help with his jet lag. Tom mentions that Carla has invited both of them over for a meeting this evening which he wants to attend. It transpires Tom still thinks he has a chance with Carla. Liam agrees to go with him and reminds Tom not to tell Maria about Carla being involved with their business. Tony pulls up in his car over the other side of the road. he looks across the road and sees Tom and Liam looking at photos from New York on Tom's phone. He goes over to talk to them for a bit. He manipulates Tom into telling him the name of their business, "Lads Rags." Tom tells him not to forget it but Tony assures Tom, "It's scorched on my brain already!"

In the Rovers, Dan is talking to Roger about Janice and Leanne's "inheritance". Meanwhile, Leanne is having a go at Janice for spending their money already. Janice tells Leanne that she won't be spending any more since Rosie has gone missing and the police are snooping everywhere. "I tell yer," Jaince says, "God know what's going to 'appen if they start lookin' in 'er bank account!"

Tony is on a bridge over the canal, looking at the video of Carla and Liam kissing on Rosie's mobile. He throws it over the side into the water.

At Carla's flat, Carla, Liam and Tom are celebrating with champagne. Tom tells Carla that they couldn't have done the deal without Carla. Liam snipes and gripes about he and Tom did the groundwork but Carla tells him to shut up and drink the champagne.

Maria and Fizz are having a drink and a pizza at Fizz's place. Fizz asks Maria if she and Liam are still trying for a baby. Maria tells her how she thought she was pregnant earlier in the week but it turned out it was only "fewd posionin'". But, she's happy to keep trying with Liam. Maria apologises to Maria for droning on about how happy she is while Fizz is alone again. Maria asks Fizz if she regrets having told John where to get off. Fizz has no regrets but she admits that the time she and John spent together at his grandmother's was amazing and that she was happier when she was with him than she has ever been. "Just a pity he's a lyin', cheatin', two-timin' scumbag, then!" says Maria. Fizz says she knows but it doesn't stop her from wondering what might have been if the whole Rosie Webster episode hadn't have happened.

At Carla's flat Liam, Tom and Carla are talking about Tom's Excellent New York adventure. Tom tells them that he's too high from his trip to talk business and he wants to go out to a club. Liam and Carla both make excuses not to go. Tom tells the "two oldies" that he's going without them and he'll see them when he sees them. Tony pulls up downstairs just in time to see Tom leave.

Upstairs, Liam mentions to Carla that she seems to be drinking quite a lot this evening. Carla comes to Liam with the glass of wine and asks him, all seductive like, if he wants to "get down to business". Liam mentions to Carla that Tom is desperate to get off with her. Carla keeps up the seductive voice and asks Liam if he's jealous. Liam tells her not to flatter herself and that he knows that all the flirting that she does with Tom is all just to make him jealous. Then, he leans in for a kiss! Oh, Liam! Carla pulls back, asking him what he thinks he's playing at. "I walked straight into that one, didn't I?" says Liam. He tells Carla that he knows she is playing games with him; when they are alone, she gets him where she wants him and then rejects him. Carla tells Liam that she is sorry that she has been giving him the wrong idea but Liam says he knows that Carla has never forgiven him for marrying Maria. Carla reminds Liam that Tony could be home any minute and that she thinks Liam should go. Liam moves in close and tells Carla that she wants "this" as much as he does (*swoon* by the way, *sigh* Liam!) but Carla pulls away again to show him out. Liam is disappointed.

Downstairs, Tony has been waiting it out in the car but decides it's time to go back up to his fiancée. As he walks away from the car, Carla shows Liam out of the building's front door to the car park. Liam and Carla have an awkward goodbye. Liam asks Carla when they'll see each other again, referring to when they'll have some private time, if you know what I mean. Carla starts to tell Liam she's sorry but Liam says, "No, you're not." Carla tells him, "It ends here." and she gives him a short but passionate kiss to say goodbye. Liam walks away. Tony has been watching their farewell from behind the cover of a big fir tree.

Stella McLoughlin



Updates written by K Richard Whitbread, Martin Rosen, Ann Logan, Margaret Carr, Stella McLoughlin, Tvor, Erica Houston.