From the pen of David Lane and directorial baton of Tim Dowd
We start this morning in the Kabin where Chesney has been given his paper round back. He encounters Fiz as he starts his job. She lies and says she's going to the dentist. He eyes Rosie's car balefully and admits he's not got any plans for the rest of the day. Fiz warns him against getting into any further trouble. He slopes off and Julie comes across to say hey. She admits where she's going but is frantic about the lost ring. Julie assures her things are going to get better. Positive thoughts! Across the road, we then shift camera angle to Becky and Hayley emerging from the pub. They're going dress shopping. Becky is excited and can't decide exactly what she wants but will know it when she sees it. White leather? (winding Hales up), or "Fairytale Glam?" or just the most beautiful dress in the world. She wants WOW, that's all she really knows. Right, their mission is clear. Find. That. Dress!
Joe's a bundle of nerves, shaking hands but tries to cover it and Gail doesn't notice. She thinks they could do with a holiday, just something low key like the Lake District. David smirks and gets in Joe's face as usual. Oh then the paracetamol turns up missing. Joe doesn't know where it is (wanna bet?) and David tries to stitch him up just for a wind up. Gail and David go off to work and when they leave, guess what Joe pulls out of his pocket and necks? paracetamol which are a pretty poor substitute.
Outside, Kevin calls Chesney over for his wages. Rosie is there too. She rants on about the dirty little chav that's been in her car and clops away on her stilts. Ches asks Kevin if the police were called and Kev says that there were no fingerprints so the police don't think they'll find the culprit. Chesney tries to find out if anything was left in the car, Kevin just seems to think Chez is being a bit sarcastic. Chez offers to clean the car for Rosie for free. When Kevin's back is turned, Chesney tries the handle of the car door. Locked.
John comes bouncing into the visiting room with a happy look on his face. He pours on the sugar and then mentions he's seen Gary Windass. Prisoner 666 has news, he's got a date for the wedding, Sept. 28 and then notices the absence of the ring. Needs resizing, she lies (this is becoming a habit. Do you really want a relationship that has you lying all the time?) He talks about the wedding list, who will they ask, though it can't be too many. She suggests Roy and Hayley and of course, Ches. He figures a reception in the Rovers will do when he is released. He's well chuffed. She's uncomfortable, rather than excited like she should be.
Back on the cobbles, Chesney offers to clean Rosie's car but she looks down on him and won't have him touch it. She's got standards, you know. Not in men, you don't, Chesney mutters as he leaves. Rosie has the car vac and gets industrious with the hose and stops when it sucks up a .... little red box with a very familiar antique ring inside? Little Miss Clueless just smiles.
Across the road, Michelle and her new chest and her son come strutting down the road. She's back for a short break in the tour. Peter notices their return from across the road.
In town, in what looks a bit like the Barton Arcade, a Victorian arcade shopping "mall" in the centre of Manchester, Hayley and Becky have found a posh wedding frock store. Inside is a tall, classy looking bride-to-be in a dress and holding a glass of champagne. Becky and Hayley start to look through the racks. A very stuck up clerk approaches. Becky, at her mouthy best, immediately says she'll have champagne thanks, but the sales woman offers Becky gloves instead, to keep her dirty fingerprints off the white dresses. Gloves, need I add, that the other shopper is not wearing. Ouch! The woman could be snotty for England and it doesn't go over well with Becky, as you can well imagine. It's all very Pretty Woman, isn't it? Becky knows she's beat and doesn't cause a scene but makes a reference to taking the woman's head off if she'd a mind to. She swans out, leaving the clerk's affronted jaw hanging open.
In the factory, all the worker bees are taking the mick out of Rosie (though she's not in the room) for leaving the keys in her car, allowing it to get nicked. Kelly also takes a swipe at Rosie's less than virginal reputation. Sally hotly defends her daughter but really, there isn't much she can say, is there? Rosie saunters in at the end of Janice's slagging off session and points out that it was some of that ill-gained money that saved the company and their jobs. Sally now looks smug as only Sally can and she bursts into little flames of glory when Rosie presents her with the ring in front of everyone, pretending she bought it at one of the online auctions for her mother. Julie's face freezes, because she recognizes the ring as Fiz's, or strongly suspects it is.
After the break, Jason comes out of Number 11 in a suit and tie, with Eileen instructing him on how to behave with the bank manager. (do bank managers even give loans and mortgages anymore? I think they have loans and mortgage brokers for that). Eileen is worried because it's difficult to get money these days but Jason isn't worried. Jesse comes by and takes the mick. He complains about his mother, with all his gear cluttering up the house. Jason suggests Bill's yard as they've had a clear out. That would be great! Jesse says gratefully. Eileen notices Joe across the road and says a few words but he totally ignores her, seeming to be distracted by something.
Fiz is back at work and tells Julie that John believed every lie she told. Julie is just about to tell her about the ring when Rosie and Sally skip up. Naturally Sally shows waves her ring under Fiz's nose, the ring that her wonderful daughter *bought* for her. Fiz asks Rosie where she got it and Rosie admits it was bought online. Fiz tells Julie that it is indeed her ring and knows Chesney must have stolen it before he nicked the car.
Joe has gone into the health centre. He insists on seeing a doctor and is all twitchy, nervous and very much on the edge and looking very much like a desperate addict in need of a fix. (I wonder why Gail hasn't noticed any signs. She has worked in that clinic for years, surely she must know the signs!) Joe is told to wait and maybe the doctor can fit him in.
In the cafe, Becky is raging and throwing silverware around. Hayley commiserates but says there's plenty of other shops. Becky had seen the perfect dress in the shop and now she can't have it. Hayley offers to make one but no, Becky really wants that dress. Michelle and Ryan come in. Tony had been sat at a table and he rises to greet them. She teases Tony about all the gossip she's been hearing about him from both Maria and her mother who apparently has been singing Tony's praises to Michelle, or at least implying them and I find that very hard to believe. If she was going to sound off to anyone about her fears, it would be her daughter. But anyway... Michelle seems to approve of the new friendship since Maria is happy about it. Tony sends his regards when Michelle next talks to Maria. Tony leaves, Ryan and Michelle sit down. Ryan wonders if Michelle is going to be looking up Peter or Luke. She sighs and says it's complicated but she doesn't seem to be interested in either.
The girls in the factory have finished their break. It's Sally's turn to wash up so she takes off her ring and puts it in her handbag. Fiz makes an excuse to delay going back to her machine. Rosie comes to get her mother for something and when Sally's back is turned, Fiz slips her hand into Sally's handbag, removes the ring box and puts it in her locker.
Jesse is moving gear into the builder's yard for storage, it's all his entertaining stuff, not his work tools. Jason is back from the bank and he got the mortgage. He's off to tell Tina. Michelle comes out of the cafe and runs into Peter. They exchange a few words, how are you, how is Simon, you know the drill. Small talk. Peter invites her for a drink though says he's still on the wagon. She is uncommittal.
In the clinic, Joe, pale and sweating, can't get in to see the doctor because the doc is on a call out for a seriously ill patient. He tells Joe to make an appointment but Joe implores, nay, begs him to see him now. The doctor recognizes that there's a bigger problem than Joe's back. Joe loses his rag and hollers at the doctor then strides out, all of which is witnessed by Gail.
In the factory, Sally goes into her bag for a tissue and realizes the ring is gone. Oh No! She thinks someone might have taken it to wind her up. Julie says it's not in the kitchen and Sally gets upset. She casts a baleful and accusing glance at Janice and nearly starts a fight. Tony comes out of the office to find out what's the problem. Janice defends herself, Julie tries to keep the peace, Fiz keeps her head down. Tony orders everyone's lockers, coats and bags searched.
And with that, the episode ends and we will find out what happens in part 2.
Alternate Title: "Just tell her you're addicted to painkillers, you idiot!"
In the machine room at Underworld, Tony demands that the lockers should be searched. He doesn't ring a lawyer and make sure that this isn't a breach of human rights or anything, he just does it and everyone seems to be agreeable to it. Except Julie who suggests an amnesty; they should all get back to work, have a cup of herbal tea or something to calm down and whoever took Sally's ring can just put it back. Janice is understandably not enamored with this since she imagines that she will still be blamed for the theft. She claims she wants to be searched to clear her name. "You just want Mr Gordon to frisk ya!" chuckles Kelly. Tony heads straight for the locker search.
Gail comes home to find Joe all apologetic for embarrassing her at work. Joe makes the excuse that he can't sleep which is why he's been irritable of late and lost his temper at the doctor. He rushes out to work before Gail can suggest making another appointment for him.
Tina and Jason are drinking in the Rovers. Jason is "bricking it" about the auction for No. 12 tomorrow. Tina is preoccupied about her dad and wishes Joe could be on their side about the two of them getting their own place together. Meanwhile, Becky is all down about her horrible experience in the Bridal Shop. Steve goes to tell Betty to cover for them, he is taking his bride shopping.
Tony Gordon has searched Kelly's locker and only found about five years worth of discarded chocolate wrappers. Fiz is next. She opens her locker and Tony instantly finds Sally ring. "You thieving little bitch!" shouts Sally while Rosie adds, "You are so, so sacked!" Tony reminds Rosie that he does the hiring and firing. Sally reckons Fiz should be locked up like Stape. Julie tries to defend her friend and Fiz protests that she didn't steal the ring. Sally demands to know how the ring got from Sally's bag into Fiz's locker. Fiz runs away from the confrontation. Sally wants to go and have a word with Fiz but Julie stops her and goes to speak to Fiz instead.
Joe is on his mobile, excusing himself from working today and pretending to be ill. He is threatened with losing the contract. He says he will see them tomorrow and hangs up but is looking more and more desperate by the minute. Evil David sneaks up on him in the van and taunts Joe. He tells Joe he needs to go and have a chat with Tina, to persuade Tina to give David another chance and the pain will go away. IE. David will dole out some more of Joe's beloved painkillers.
Fiz and Julie are sitting outside on the front step of Underworld. Fiz wants to go home but Julie persuades her to go back inside and explain everything.
Joe goes into the Kabin to talk to Tina. He lies and tells her that he thinks he is making a mistake by making such a huge commitment to Jason and that he thinks that she should give David another chance. Tina can't believe it, "Are you for real?" she asks, "why are you saying these things?" Joe looks sad and realises what he is doing. "No, you're right," he says before leaving the Kabin. Tina is left to think about what just happened.
Tony asks Sally if Fiz has given the ring back yet. She hasn't of course and Sally wants to know what Tony is going to do about it. Fiz comes in and tells everyone that the ring belongs to her, it wasn't Rosie's to give and reminds everyone that Rosie should have some sort of receipt for the ring to prove ownership. Voices become raised and Tony wants the three of them in his office. As they walk into the office, Sally lunges for Fiz's handbag. Fiz fights her off and in doing so gives Sally a smack on the head. Sally shouts, "Now you can add assault to the list of her crimes." Fiz runs away again but is stopped by Tony shouting to her that if she runs away again he'll have no choice but to call the police. Julie urges Fiz to tell everyone and after Tony asks Julie if she knows something blurts, "The ring does belong to Fiz because John Stape gave it to her. They're engaged!" Everyone is shocked. Rosie looks disgusted. Fiz looks stunned that her news is out there.
Steve and Becky go into the Bridal Shop where Becky was treated so dreadfully earlier. Becky obnoxiously shows the snotty shop assistant that her hands are clean and Steve flashes his credit card and tells Becky, "Do your worst." I'm having trouble believing that that's the only bridal shop in Manchester. I know if I had been treated so abominably I certainly wouldn't have gone back to spend money there and would probably also have written to the local paper about the poor service. But that's just me. But anyway, before Becky gets gleefully stuck about the bridal gowns she tells the snotty assistant, "Oh, and eh, can I just say, love, don't embarrass yourself by offering us champagne because me and my fiance, we own a pub and we drink champagne like water. In fact, it bores me."
At Underworld, Fiz's "friends" are getting stuck about Fiz for being engaged to John. Julie is the only one who thinks it's romantic. Tony wants everyone to get back to work now that the matter has been cleared up. Sally is not satisfied though and reminds Tony that it is Fiz's word against Rosie's. Rosie admits that she found the ring in her car. Tony doesn't want any more talking about it all and sends everyone back to their machines except Fiz who he sends home until the dust settles.
Bill turns up at his yard where he finds Jason arsing about in a cowboy outfit with Jessie. Bill tries on a cowboy hat and asks Jason and Jessie if they think he looks like Willie Nelson. Pam turns up and wants to know why all of Jessie's cowboy party stuff is at Bill's Builders' Yard. Err, I don't know either. What did I miss? She also asks, "Do you really think "cowboy" is the best image for a builder." Point taken, Pam.
Chesney comes home and is immediately confronted by Fiz who asks him what he thinks of her engagement ring. She tells him that Rosie had found it in her car and she knows that Chesney took Rosie's car. She promises not to tell anyone but she reminds him that it's only a matter of time before the Websters work it out. Chesney doesn't care. He says he stole a ring and a car and with a bit of luck he will get some time in a Youth Offenders place. Which means that Fiz and John can set up their little love nest without him. Fiz assures Chesney that his home will always be there. Chesney asks Fiz why she didn't tell him about her engagement. Fiz reckons she tried to but couldn't find the right words. "Pathetic," says Chesney before stomping off upstairs.
In the bridal shop. Becky has made her mind up and Steve pays for her dress. He is a bit taken aback by the price but pays for it anyway asking the snotty assistant, "That decimal point is in the right place, isn't it?" Becky is made up.
David comes home to be set upon by a rabid Joe who screams, "Where are they? Where the hell are they?" David rushes upstairs thinking that Joe might have ransacked his room. He comes back downstairs and smugly tells Joe to stay out of his room in future. Gail comes home and can tell something is up. David tells her that Joe has trashed his room. Gail thinks that Joe doesn't look well and is a terrible colour. Joe insists he is fine and rushes out to catch the project manager on the building site before he goes home. David takes the opportunity to twist the knife and bad-mouths Joe to Gail a little after he has gone.
Rosie and Sally are in the factory wondering how on earth Fiz's ring got into Rosie's car. It dawns on the two of them eventually that Chesney must have taken her car. Sally reckons the whole family needs locking up now.
In the Builder's Yard, Pam is telling Bill that he's lacking a bit of oomph. Bill protests that he's not as young as he once was. Pam has some ideas as to how she can make Bill's business take off and have him retire in Spain in no time. She will tell him her plans over a lovely slap-up dinner. Jessie interrupts them with a question about where he can store some wigwams he has in the car. He mentions that he is a spark by trade and perhaps he and Bill can do business together. Pam invites him in for a chat to see if they can come to some sort of mutually beneficial arrangement.
In the Rovers, Becky is telling Kelly, Janice, Julie and Sally about her "Pretty Woman" experience in the bridal shop with Steve. "Only I were never a prossie, obviously," she clarifies. "And Richard Gere has let himself go," snides Janice at the expense of Steve. The threat of a slap from Becky shuts her up. Over in a booth, Michelle, who has gone back to her fab bob hairdo, looks like she's being bored rigid by Peter telling her about his sobriety. She thinks it's good he's going to AA. Luke comes in and sees Michelle but he is with Rosie. He approaches Michelle and tells her that it's good to see her. Peter looks over at Rosie and tells Luke that his girlfriend looks like she's about to spit the dummy out of her pram. Michelle seems shocked by the fact that Rosie and Luke are an item. Rosie asks her, "Did you think I was out of his league?" Rosie acts possessively over Luke as Michelle and Peter share raised eyebrows at the whole ridiculous situation. Luke looks suitably embarrassed.
David finds Joe in the street looking the worse for wear. He raises Joe's hopes by saying, "I'm just going to get summat for you!" and then explains that Gail is treating them all to tea from the chippy. Joe asks David what more he can do for the painkillers, he thinks he has done everything David has asked him to. He tells David that he can't make Tina love him but David reminds him that Tina loved him before. " Joe is exasperated. "Oh for god's sake! What is wrong with you?" Joe asks and then pleads with David to help him. Cold-heartedly, David refuses to help Joe and stands up asking him if a nice piece of haddock and tub of mushy peas will do him for his dinner. He leaves Joe on the bench, crying. He is a broken man.
In the pub, Peter and Michelle are talking about Luke and Rosie and having a bit of a giggle. Peter reckons that Luke still has the hots for her. Michelle protests that they only had a couple of dates. This reminds Peter of how they left things and he asks Michelle if she would like to have another go. Michelle is sorry but she just wants to be friends with him. In another booth, Janice and Kelly are laughing about how much drama Sally and Fiz have been through recently. Sally is pleased they've been entertained by every one's bad fortune. Julie tells Kelly and Janice about Schadenfreude, taking pleasure in other people's misfortunes. Janice remarks that Julie is no better than the rest and points out that Julie has loved being in the centre of all the drama. Fiz comes into the pub. Rosie and Sally are not best pleased to see her and threaten her with a police visit. Rosie tells Fiz that they know that Chesney took the car and that she is not going to let him get away with it. Fiz shocks everyone again by exclaiming, "Well you've got it wrong. It wasn't Chesney, it was me! I took your car so if you're looking for someone to blame, blame me!"
Another week has flown by, and so here's the update for Thursday 6th August.
Gail is hunting for her work keys and asks Joe if he's seen them, but he hasn't. David comes down and jokes that he's hidden them, saying she's got an hour to find them or another kitten dies. Gail isn't amused and mutters that she doesn't know why she bothers. She tells Joe he should eat something, but he says he's had an upset stomach. She says she knows he was awake in the night, shaking and sweating and asks if he can get out of the meeting he has with the project manager but he tells her he can't. David then finds Gail's keys on the worktop and gives them to her. She takes them and goes off to work.. When she's gone David turns to Joe and asks how long he thinks Gail will fall for being lied to by a junkie. Joe hisses that he's not a junkie, but David just asks if he's looked in the mirror lately.
In the Webster household, Rosie is furious about Fiz and picks up the phone threatening to call the police. Kevin takes it from her, saying he doesn't think Fiz is behind it, something doesn't seem right. Rosie just thinks Fiz should be in jail with her psycho boyfriend, but Kevin tells her he wants to speak to Fiz first.
Back in Gail's house, Joe's phone starts to ring. David offers to get it for him, it might be work or something. Joe snaps at him to leave it, so David asks if he's frightened of answering the phone now. Joe thinks David is enjoying seeing him suffer, but David says he's not much bothered, the only thing he cared about is gone and Joe held the door open for her. Joe retorts that Tina finally saw David for what he was, a nasty, vicious child only a mother could love. "And I wouldn't count on that for much longer," he adds. David wonders how long Gail and Tina will hang around when they discover that Joe is a thieving pill-head whose business has gone down the toilet – again!
In the factory, the girls are discussing Fiz's absence when Rosie walks in. "Hands on your rings girls!" quips Sean. Rosie points out that she didn't steal the ring, she found it in her car – the car Fiz stole. Sean says she's right, it's not funny, however, the skirt she's wearing is hilarious!
Rosie slams back into her office. "Close the door why don't you," says Tony, adding that if she did some work instead of all the pouting and flouncing, things might not seem so bad. Rosie says that she's the victim here, but Luke tells her to calm down, she got the car back, didn't she? "It's not as if you can even drive it," mutters Tony. Rosie asks Luke if they can go to lunch somewhere, but he has to go to a meeting. When he's gone, Tony tells Rosie he's sorry he snapped and realises that things must be difficult for her just now – all this trouble with Fiz and now Michelle's back. Rosie asks what Michelle's got to do with anything and he tells her he thought it must be awkward having Luke's ex hanging around. Rosie tells him Michelle isn't Luke's ex, they were hardly together. "Really?" says Tony, "then forget I mentioned it." Having planted the seed, Tony smiles to himself.
Joe arrives at the work site, only to find that the project manager isn't too happy with the way things have been delayed and annoyed because Joe hasn't answered his phone. Joe tells him he'd left it in the van, adding that he knows there've been some delays but he's now totally focused. "No you're not, you're off it," says the manager, and tells Joe he's got another contractor in, one that answers his phone. He'll get the money for the materials he bought, but that's it. Joe begs for five minutes to explain.
Back on Coronation Street, Deirdre sees Michelle and tells her that a certain someone has been missing her. "How is Amy?" asks Michelle. Deirdre laughs and tells her she meant Peter. Michelle tells her she saw him yesterday and they had a nice chat.
Joe is still pleading with the project manager, but he's told that if it wasn't for Len he'd have gone long ago. Joe offers to work for less than they're paying the new bloke, but is told it's not about money, it's about getting the job done on time. He's told: "Get your stuff and clear out." As the project manager walks off, Len approaches. He tells Joe he's made him look a right tool. Joe then begs Len to help him, asking him what he's supposed to live on. "Joe mate," says Len, "if you don't pay back those loans it ain't going to be a problem!"
Audrey and Michelle are in the cafe, talking about Maria's trip to Ireland. Michelle jokes that the only way her mother will let Maria come home will be if someone drugs her Horlicks. She admits that she's not always been Tony's biggest fan, but as he was able to talk her mother round he must be doing something right. As Audrey goes off back to work, Luke comes in and sits down with Michelle. He tells her he wanted to chat to her yesterday but wasn't able to. "Yes, it looked like Rosie was keeping you pretty busy," she tells him. Then he says he's more in the mood for a drink and jokingly asks if she knows of any good pubs.
Bill finds Joe sitting in the pub with a large scotch, drowning his sorrows. He tells him he looks terrible, but Joe says he's just tired. Bill remarks that whatever they're paying him on the site, it isn't enough. Joe chuckles to himself and then gets up and leaves. As he gets outside he staggers and has to hold onto the doorway for a few minutes.
Kevin goes to see Fiz to talk about Rosie's car. He says there were some scratches on it that must have been caused when she hit something. Was it another car? She says that it was. "Easily done if you're not used to driving an automatic," he says. She nods but then he says that Rosie's car is a manual, and asks if he can go in for a word.
Luke and Michelle are in the pub, talking about the tour with the band. Michelle says that no one has thrown anything yet, but there's always a drunk wanting the band to play 'Amarillo' or yelling, "Go girl!" He says he can't believe how some men want to objectify women, and she teasingly asks if it was Rosie's brain that attracted him. Just then the pub door opens and in walks Rosie! "Meeting finished early did it?" she snarls, obviously not pleased at finding him with Michelle, who then makes a hasty exit saying she's got things to do.
Kevin explains to Fiz that he knows she's trying to protect Chesney, but he's only just managed to stop Rosie from calling the police. He tells her if she knows it was Chesney she might think twice, and asks why Chesney did it. Fiz says she thinks he's angry with her and John. Kevin tells her that man is poison and the sooner she realises it the better. As he leaves, he passes Kirk who's just come home. Fiz tells him they need to talk about Chesney.
Michelle bumps into Tony and asks if he knows when Maria will be back. She's dying to see the baby and all she's got is a photo on her phone that Maria sent her. Tony says he can help there, and pulls out a set of photos from his wallet, sounding every bit like the proud father.
Gail arrives home and is shocked when she sees the state Joe is in and says she's going to call a doctor. He tells her that won't do any good, and tells her how he was sacked. She asks why but he says it doesn't matter, nothing matters. She hugs him and then suggests she runs him a hot bath, it'll make him feel better and then he can tell her everything. He sees her handbag and agrees that a bath would be a good idea. As she goes off up the stairs to run it, he pulls her keys out of her bag and goes out of the front door. A few moments later Gail comes downstairs – and the living room is empty.
Hello, and welcome to another Friday.
We start with Joe parked in his van, Lily Allen loud on the radio. He drives off, leaving Gail shouting "Joe! Joe!"
Outside the builders' yard, Pam and Kevin chat. Pam says she's heard from Molly that she and Tyrone are having a marvelous holiday. Apart from not being able to get Tyrone off the pedalos. Molly's even been sunbathing topless. Kevin doesn't seem interested. As Pam leaves, Chesney comes along, walking the dog. Kevin starts to question him about taking the car. He warns him of everything that could have gone wrong and says he could have stepped on the wrong pedal into oncoming traffic. A glum Chesney says maybe he should have stepped on the wrong pedal. "Girls don't go for joyriders," Kevin says. Chesney knows he's wrong. Aidan Critchley and Michael Finnigan do it all the time and get plenty of girls. Chesney says he didn't do it to get girls. It seems news to Ches that Fiz took the blame for him. Kevin invites him back to the house. "Bring your horse," he says, scratching Schmeichel's ears and saying they might be able to find him some oats.
In an auction room, Jason's worried about bidding by accident, though Tina assures him it's safe to wave if he recognizes the auctioneer from school. Eileen's just worried about whether she's got time to nip to the lavvy. The auction starts.
Sally doesn't know what to say. She really doesn't know what to say. "Apology accepted," says Kevin. Sophie just says "Mum," when Sally rounds on her, telling her she can't hide behind God on this one. Sally wants to have a go at Chesney. She says he can't go round doing what he feels like and getting out of it by saying sorry. "I didn't want to say sorry," says Ches. "Kevin made me." Sally wants to know if this is backchat and wants to call the police. Chesney says he did it because he hates John Stape. He wanted to drive to the prison, give Stape the ring and punch him in the face if he got close enough. Sally wants to leave it to Rosie to decide whether to forgive Chesney. Kevin plans to sort it with Rosie. He knows she'd have Chesney hanging from the lamppost. They're distracted by Sophie who's found some sushi. She wants to know who Sally has ever seen eating sushi. "Does LUKE eat sushi, Mum?" She says Sally is so impressionable. Sally denies it but Sophie says Gail told her about Sally collecting safety pins after seeing a picture of Hugh Grant's girlfriend. Sally tries to deny it and an embarrassed Chesney asks if he can leave.
In the auction, another lot is being sold and Eileen says she really has to go. Jason doesn't think she'll be back in time for their lot. He's annoyed that Eileen and Tina keep giggling.
Bill and Pam are in the Rovers. There's no sign of any bar staff. On the other side of the room, Rosie demands that Luke name one thing Michelle has that Rosie doesn't. "A child," he says. Rosie demands to know whether he's looking for a woman with "baggage" but Luke was just answering her question, he says. He chooses something else. Michelle has a green toothbrush. He doesn't know what colour Rosie's is, because she always uses his. Ick! Rosie's about to tell him where to shove Michelle's green toothbrush when Tony stops them. He tells Rosie that if Luke's bothering her, he can have him disposed of, with a pair of concrete boots in the Manchester Ship Canal. "Not if I tie you to a table first and cut you in half with a laser," retaliates Luke. Tony thinks that sounds a touch homoerotic. Rosie stomps off home. Luke plans to go home and watch TV with a few cans. Tony advises him to get on the phone and make things up with Rosie.
Gail's talking to Audrey about Joe. Audrey is flippant and Gail is annoyed. Audrey assures her that Joe will just be cooling off somewhere. Neither of them seems to have noticed that Joe's about twenty feet away, just around the corner of the Rovers. He stops and stares at the medical centre. Sophie's up on the raised bit of paving outside the medical centre and chippie, on her phone to someone. The music on the van radio stops and the announcer dedicates a song to a wonderful father who's just been promoted after 22 years. Joe bursts into tears. Sophie moves away and he heads for the medical centre with Gail's keys but sees Bill and Pam outside the Rovers and heads back towards the van. He waits out of sight.
Michelle meets Luke in the street and asks if she got him into trouble. "What has she got that I haven't?" she asks him. He explains that Rosie's got a sports car and some money. Luke holds up the carrier bag of cans of beer he's got and asks if she wants one. She does, but only if they can get off the street before Rosie sees them and comes stomping across. Michelle asks if he's eaten and he says he had some sushi for lunch.
As they go inside, Joe sees his opportunity and races up to the medical centre, fumbling with the keys in his haste.
Inside, he hears the burglar alarm bleeping. "Aaarggghhh!!" he cries, punching numbers at random. A very loud alarm goes off and a red light starts flashing. He marches out to the van and fetches a sledge hammer and crowbar.
Inside again, he starts whacking the alarm. I was waiting for him to be electrocuted but it didn't happen.
Eileen's had enough and has to go, just as 12 Coronation Street comes up for sale. "Don't go over your limit," she tells Tina before racing out. The auctioneer tries to start at £50,000 but Jason waits him out until the start price goes down to £30,000. Then he's beaten to the first bid by a woman sitting further back. She glares at Jason in a way that makes her look as if David Platt's in disguise. Jason raises his card and bidding proper begins.
Audrey's made a cuppa and advises Gail that Joe will be back. If he isn't, then she advises Gail to find someone normal. Her description of "normal" sounds to Gail as if Audrey thinks she should find someone like Alf – a big happy shopkeeper. "It's not what I want, Mam." Audrey says she needs support, not tantrums, mystery and unpredictability. In the distance we can hear the burglar alarm. Audrey hears it and is sure it's over in Tile Street – it goes off all the time, she says. Gail listens and is sure it's coming from the medical centre. Audrey disputes this.
Joe is searching the drugs but can't find what he's after. He spots a locked cupboard on the wall and picks up the hammer again.
Chesney's outside watching the centre and Anna comes out to see where the noise is coming from. He confesses his problems to her and says everyone knows what he did. Gail comes out and Anna tells her it's the medical centre.
She goes back inside to find her keys. Uh oh. Audrey says Gail's not going in there. Gail realises her keys are gone and rushes outside.
The bidding is up to 46, 48 thousand. There's a phone bidder, too. It's up to £50,000. The phone bidder won't go further and Jason looks around anxiously. He holds the bid at £48,000.
In the street, Tony's on the phone to Maria, who tells him she'll be home tomorrow.
The bidding has gone to 50 and that's Jason and Tina's limit. The auctioneer is about to sell to the lady on his left. There's no sign of Eileen to advise him, so Jason bids 52.
Sally and Kevin are out in the street now. They can't hear the telly and aren't interested when Audrey says Gail's gone in. Sally wants a word with Gail. "Elizabeth Hurley's dress – it's all lies!"
The bidding has gone to 54,750 pounds and it's Jason's. He's bought it and Eileen is back just in time to hear the amount.
Gail's in the medical centre and sees the mess Joe's made. He sees her and tearfully drops the hammer.
The End of episode one.
Episode two coming along any time now...
I'm glad to be able to return the favour and cover for Richard, who covered for me a lot a few years back.
We return to the medical centre with the alarm still blaring out noisily and Joe standing over the chaos he created, poised with a crowbar. Gail is looking at him with disbelief and Joe cries that he needs something to help him cope. He tells her to go home as he doesn't want her to see him like this. Gail is adamant that she can't leave him like this and he proceeds to let out a howl of anguish before attacking the sealed cabinet (now on the floor) with a crowbar. At this point, two police officers burst in and order him to drop the crowbar. With a sob of resignation, Joe drops the crowbar. Gail asks the police officers not to hurt him as they approach. All Joe can do is look at Gail sorrowfully and say sorry.
Outside, a crowd is gathering, led by a worried Audrey. Anna is close by and comments that Gail has been in there a long time. Len and Chesney are next on the scene and, as Audrey makes as if to go into the medical centre, Len, in a most comforting way, warns her she may disturb a hostage situation and cause a bloodbath. Chesney starts to walk away and Anna follows him, asking him if he would like to come in for some dinner.
Nearby, Rosie is leaving a message on Luke's answer phone, apologising for her actions and promising that he will enjoy her making it up to him. Graeme and David approach, Graeme (subtly as always) eyeing Rosie up and down and offering his company for the night. Rosie is suitably unimpressed and flounces off while David makes his way over to the crowd by the medical centre. Len starts filling David in on what is going on.
Inside, one of the police officers asks Gail if Joe attacked her. A tearful Gail tells them that Joe is a good man and that he is ill. After Gail confirms Joe's name, the officers place him under arrest. His only response is to tell them that he had a bad back.
Across the Street, Eileen, Jason and Tina have arrived back from the auction. Eileen is still recovering from the amount they spent and she says that she should have just kept her legs crossed. Tina replies: "When you gotta go you gotta go."
"I meant 26 years ago," Eileen smirks before heading into the pub. Jason and Tina are alerted to the commotion at the medical centre. Graeme tells them that there has been a burglary and David adds that his mum is inside. As Jason attempts to ponder why Gail would possibly break into the medical centre, Tina sees Joe being led out by police. He is met by jeers from Len who smugly crows: "Who's scum now!?" Tina rushes over and tries to pull the police officers away from Joe. Audrey hugs Gail, asking her if Joe hurt her. "Not in that way." She replies. As the police van drives away with Joe inside, David and Graeme worry that Joe might get them in trouble.
Tony arrives home and asks Michelle if she knows why Maria is coming home early tomorrow with big news. Michelle confirms that she has no idea. Tony goes on to ask if there is any food in. Michelle says she will go in the morning but Tony insists on going now and heads back out. An irritated Michelle returns to Luke on the sofa, saying she is confused by his good Samaritan act. Luke shrugs and replies it may be he is looking forward to playing daddy again.
Over at the Windass household, dinner has just finished and Chesney offers to clean up. Anna won't hear of it and sends him to watch television. She suggests to Eddie that Chesney could be an impartial judge for his new prototype fruit cake.
Luke is talking about Rosie to Michelle, complaining that she isn't much company and that she is just a kid. Michelle comments that she is pretty well developed for a kid but Luke tells her he means she isn't very well developed in the brain department. He tells her about the last date they had, when Luke began to get philosophical about life and Rosie stared vacantly back at him. Right on cue, Rosie begins to phone and Michelle tells him he had better answer, she is his girlfriend after all. Luke asks what would happen between him and Michelle if she wasn't and Michelle answers that she is still on tour. Luke takes encouragement from the fact that she didn't actually say no.
David is giving his version of events to Audrey. He tells her that he knew Joe had a drug problem and that he tried to help by hiding Joe's drugs to get him off them. He says he did it as he still cares for Tina. Audrey tells him that he did a silly thing but none of this is his fault. David says he hopes Gail has seen the light and that she will get rid of Joe. Audrey agrees.
At the police station a doctor is examining Joe. He mentions that he will have to give Joe some more of the drug but Joe says he won't touch them again. The doctor says it won't be as simple as that as Joe needs to come off them gradually. Joe begins to explain that he is a hard working man and not like all the other drug users the doctor is bound to see. All he had was a bad back. Joe seeks encouragement but the doctor remains impartial and tells him he'd best save it for the interview room.
Straight back at the police station, but clearly some time later. Joe returns to Tina, Gail and Jason who are waiting. Jason asks what was said in the interview room. Joe replies that he has been charged and bailed and his first hearing is next week. Tina demands to know how he let it get this far. Gail asks how he is feeling now, but there is a cold edge to her voice.
Fiz is thanking Anna for taking care of Chesney. Anna tells Fiz that Chesney loves her more than she knows. Fiz says things are not easy at the moment and Anna admits she knows everything. She tells Fiz that it is not her fault as sometimes you can't help where your heart leads you. She does, however, warn Fiz that Chesney reminds her of Gary at that age and that things can quickly spiral out of control. She urges Fiz to get things sorted with Chesney.
Luke and Michelle are standing in the doorway after their night in. Luke asks her how long she will be on tour for. She replies that it depends how successful they are. Luke comments he hopes she gets booed off stage then. There is just about to be a tender moment when Rosie's shrill voice screeches across at her, telling her to get her hands off her boyfriend. Rosie marches over and says that Luke would never look at an old slapper like Michelle when he has Rosie on tap. (lovely phrase). Michelle replies that Rosie should have her own pump in the Rovers as the whole street has her on tap and Rosie makes as if to hit her. However, she misses and ends up smacking Luke instead. At this point, Tony returns with his shopping and demands to know what is going on. He tells Luke to get rid of Rosie from Maria's house. Michelle calls after Rosie that she better be careful next time she starts a fight as she may throw the first punch, but she won't throw the last.
Eddie is trying to gauge Chesney's opinion about his cake. As he explains his tactful strategy behind the walnut placement, Fiz and Anna enter the room. Chesney tells Fiz that nothing will change while she is with John. Anna tells him that he doesn't want social services sticking their noses in. Chesney comments that he would rather sleep on the Street than go back with Fiz. Anna mediates, saying that he can stay with them tonight, if he promises to sit down and talk with Fiz in the morning.
Gail and Joe have arrived home. A concerned Audrey asks Gail if she is all right. David demands some answers but Joe responds that he is tired and the last thing he needs is David in his face. As David rants that he has a right to know, Tina warns him to back off and assures him there'll be plenty of time for talking in the morning. There is a threatening edge to her voice.
Michelle is telling Tony that it isn't her fault that Rosie marched over but Tony points out that she shouldn't have expected any less as she is Luke's girlfriend. He goes on to say she can do what she wants to long as it isn't under this roof as it isn't her place. Michelle reminds him that it isn't his either. Tony approaches and says it would be best for all if Michelle moved out. Furious, she demands to know what right Tony thinks he has to give her marching orders. She continues, ranting that while he may have delivered Maria's baby, he has no real ties to the child and never will have. Tony fixes her with a long hard stare, before repeating it will be better for everyone when she finds somewhere else to live.
Joe is lying in bed, exhausted and Tina is sat beside him. He tells her that he wishes there were other words for sorry. Tina tells him they have to look ahead now. He feels ashamed of himself but Tina assures him that she will always love him. Sadly, Joe mentions that he used to be her source of dependency. Tina hushes him and tells him he needs rest. With a pained smile he recalls that it used to be him trying to get her off to sleep. As he focuses on the memory, he quietly begins to sing a lullaby but breaks down midway. A tearful Tina embraces him tightly as he sobs into her shoulder...
So what have we learned tonight?
-Tile Street is notorious for bogus alarms
-Eileen takes a long time in the toilet
-Gail has acute alarm recognising skills
-If there's a sledgehammer nearby, Joe should be not be let loose in Boots
-Graeme is free all night
-Luke likes the finer things in life such as sushi at lunchtime and a can of lager...in a glass.
-Eddie Windass is a lovely, quiet eater, with impeccable table manners (sarcastic, moi..!?)
-Eddie's marzipan is always top notch
-Rosie has less spark than a (dead) king prawn
->From where Tina was standing in the police station, there was a poster by her head labeling her Cheap 'N' Nasty (charming!)
-Tony has a bright future in staring competitions
-Nobody realised that Joe was inside the medical centre, despite the fact that a van was sat outside with 'Joe's Klever Kitchens' plastered over it
-Tony clearly has trouble selecting groceries in shops-he left to get the shopping in the light of day and returned, carrying only two bags, when it was pitch black!
Dubious awards of the evening:
Kind offer most likely to end in fatality: "Get rid of her! Or do you want me to do it?" Tony to Luke about Rosie
Biggest omen of ill-fortune: "I will never be hard up!" Rosie
Acute hearing of the evening award: "I thought I heard sirens" Michelle after the majority of the episode contained a recurring blaring alarm ringing across the Street
Most agreeable statement: "I can't help feeling this is all my fault" David
Desire least likely to be fulfilled when on Britain's top rated show: "I didn't want an audience" Joe
Understatement of the evening: "Things are a bit complicated at the moment" Fiz
Person most deserving of sympathy: "Every morning I turn and see what's on the pillow next to me" Anna about husband Eddie
Have a lovely weekend!
Written by Mark Burt Directed by Tony Prescott
It's the morning after the night before. Gail looks exhausted, both physically and emotionally, as she watches Joe making pained sounds in his sleep while curled up in the fetal position in bed. She approaches and gently puts the duvet over him. Downstairs, David asks how Joe is. When he hears Joe is still asleep, he seems relieved and puts on his concerned for his mother mask. He ingratiates himself by making her some coffee and trying to reassure her. She then feels all guilty because He's had to deal with this but puts the blame squarely on Joe, her voice hardening. This doesn't bode well.
Outside, Tony has arrived at Number 7 with a big bouquet of flowers. Audrey sees this and it turns out Maria is due home today. He knows the eta to the minute.
Anna and Eddie are cheerful and supportive to Chesney this morning and have given him a pair of coveralls that used to be Eddie's. Completely or nearly unworn, as you can imagine. They're a bit big on Ches's skinny frame but he's pleased anyway. Anna encourages Chesney to ask Fiz to hem the legs of the coveralls. The lad isn't too sure but thanks the Windasses for their ministrations. Anna sees him off with a kiss then goes into the kitchen, weeping for her own son.
Across the road, Fiz has yet another visit to John on the books for today. Now she's got the ring back, she's worried John will notice there hasn't been any adjustments to it. As if he would! Julie advises a show of cleavage to divert his attention. Chesney arrives home to Fiz's delight and she's tickled pink when he asks her to alter them.
Tony finally gets through the door and gives the flowers to Michelle to put in water. He grovels and apologizes to her for overstepping the mark the day before. Apology accepted, since she knows he has been there for Maria and admits it's not easy letting go. Tony admits to being a control freak. Michelle plans to help out while she's there since it won't be for long anyway. Tony just grimaces a smile and says whatever is best for Maria and the baby. You can tell it's not all that sincere but Michelle's back is turned. He knows he's got to suck up, doesn't he!
In the factory, Luke is defending his honour to Rosie who's giving him the third degree over his drink with Michelle. She threatens to take her investment back so he moves in and puts his most sincere face on. He offers to have her designs looked over and marketed. This appeases Miss Thing and the crisis is averted for now.
Darryl is cleaning the windows of the shop and objecting to Amber's plans for a picnic. "I don't do grass" he offers. Graeme swings by and offers to do some weeding at Number 6 (wait, did Jerry only rent out the house? I thought he sold it? I must have missed something). Anyway, Darryl turns him down because his father had hired a professional company. Graeme doesn't take that well, feeling put down (and sounding like he's getting over a cold as well)
Joe is now awake. Gail is now dressed and giving him water. He's in terrible shape and is really upset that Tina saw him in such shape. Gail admits she and Tina both are tired and confused. Joe tries to get up but when Gail insists he stay in bed, he starts ranting nonsense about her wanting to keep him controlled and weak, so she backs off and lets him try to get to his feet. Of course he can't. He can barely get his head off the pillow. David is listening from outside the room as Joe pulls Gail over and cries in her lap. Is he actually concerned or is he planning his next move?
After the break, we have Luke persuading a mate to have a look at Rosie's designs. Julie tries again to interrupt (she had tried earlier when Luke was talking to Rosie) but Luke just holds up a post-it note with a request for a bacon buttie. She sighs deeply and turns around and she's not happy. Tony looks balefully at Luke but Luke admits he's just doing it to keep Rosie sweet, no promises. Tony doesn't want her designs actually getting produced and Luke just smiles. I don't think he's got any plans in that direction either.
Eddie has thrown himself into the cake design with all pastry guns blasting and has come up with a plan looking something like a Greek temple with pillars and columns and possibly a recreation of the Elgin Marbles. On paper at least. He shows Anna who is dubious after his creation of a 38DD sponge he made her mother once. (*snork*) Roy, of course, being a history buff, points out that the columns are the wrong type for neo-classical Acropolis and in fact the word "Acropolis" actually means "city" and probably, Eddie meant to portray the Parthenon. You get the idea. Classic Roy. Eddie just listens to him witter on with a glazed look in his eye. Anna too, for that matter. Julie stomps in for the bacon buttie. Luke's getting up her nose and Rosie is on her last nerve. Umed pushes around the cafe and flatters Eddie's designs as a "vision" and a "masterpiece", like he does. It's overheard by Slug who's just slithered in the door and he's dismayed to hear it's Steve and Becky's wedding cake design. He finds out when the wedding is (Friday!) and leaves again, with Roy's watchful eye on his back.
In the prison visiting room, Fiz is twittering and batting her eyelashes at Prisoner 666 who's level of smarm knows no bounds. She's telling him about Joe and he sympathises with Joe not Gail cause you know, he's been living with addicts behind bars. He flatters her and it's about to make you ill, it really is. She looks a bit doubtful but puts it down to missing him (rather than all the lies to all her friends, no doubt).
The doctor has come to see Joe who's feeling pretty bad. The doctor prescribes a substance abuse program. Gail avers that he will go. She also thinks he should be on medication on a course of drugs that will help wean him off, under a strictly monitored, gradually lessening dose but he doesn't want any more chemicals whatsoever. Never mind the withdrawal will probably do him in if he doesn't follow doctor's orders. She says it's his best chance of recovery. He figures Gail is his best chance. The doctor takes her leave and Gail walks to the door with her. The doctor does agree that Gail has to be there to support Joe which adds more pressure. She assures Gail she couldn't have suspected if Joe didn't want her to. Addicts are expert liars.
Maria and Tony arrive back. She's heard the gossip about Joe too. He helps her get that sweet little baby out of the car.
Back inside the Platt towers, Joe wants Gail to go get some sleep. David offers to sit with Joe so Gail goes out for a walk. Joe turns his anger on David, calling him a drug dealer. David doesn't deny it and sticks the knife in further. Gail isn't going to believe a junkie's word over her son's. He's going to make it look like Joe led he and Graeme astray. David does seem to have the upper hand at the moment.
Gail has walked about 30 feet, to her Mam who immediately sees a cup of tea is called for.
Becky crosses the road followed by Slug who startles her when she halts at the bus stop. He asks he for money and it certainly looks as if he needs it. So much for the suit, tie and job, I guess. Steve has come out the Rovers door and is watching from afar. Becky turns him down. No money. He walks away resentfully and threatens to come back on Friday to see her on the wedding day. She runs after him and threatens him. Stay away. She's not letting him drag her down. He wonders if she's scared loverboy won't like the old Becky. She hisses that the only one need be scared of the "Old Becky" his him. She points out that she knows he's scared of everything including life. She walks one way and he walks the other, stopping to make a phone call to someone. "I'm in" he mutters, the chip on his shoulder weighing him down mightily. Uh oh.
Gail admits to her mother that she's made a fool out of herself over a man yet again. She is feeling a huge amount of pressure to be there for Joe and doesn't feel she can walk away. She's drained already and doesn't see how she's going to get through this and isn't sure she even wants to.
Tony has downloaded Maria's holiday snaps onto the laptop. She tells him about the cottage she stayed in and then drops a bombshell. The cottage was for sale and she's thinking of buying and moving over to the Emerald Isle.
At Maria's, Tony is gazing creepily down at baby Liam. Maria comes through from the kitchen with coffee for them both and she admits to Tony that moving to Ireland might sound a bit mad. She knows that she and Helen were fighting a couple of weeks ago and she acknowledges that Tony has been brilliant but... "It's not the same as family," Tony say, he knows what Maria means. He tells her that he'll miss the both of them. Michelle comes back and sees her wee nephew. She is teary (and wearing that fab, sleek, bob hairdo again- yay!) and mentions that Liam should be here for his son. As Tony leaves, Michelle looks at baby Liam and says, "He's perfect." Maria watches Tony go through the front door and sighs, "Yeah, he is." Outside the house, Tony looks bothered.
Joe is in Gail's kitchen trying to open a packet of coffee. He ends up smashing Gail's French press. David comes into the kitchen and gloats. He tells Joe that he is an addict and that cold turkey never works for addicts; Joe should be in rehab. Joe wonders if David is trying to get rid of him. Tina comes round to see Joe. She ignores David entirely and wants to know if Joe will be OK for the drug assessment he has that afternoon. Gail joins them all. She hears Tina sniping at David and wants to know what is going on. "Ask your darling son," Tina tells her. David plays the immature card and shouts at Tina, "Everything's my fault wi' you! Including the fact that he's a junkie!" and he storms off. Joe leaves, assuring Gail that he'll be fine. In the men's absence, Tina tells Gail that David's responsible for a lot of what has happened. Gail think that David turning Joe into an addict is a bit of a stretch, even for David but Tina is insistent. Gail tries to calm Tina down and tells her, "Listen love, this is something he's got to take responsibility for all by himself." Tina just bites her tongue.
Graham and Ashley are outside the butcher's shop- Graham has made a new shop window display, making a Blackpool Tower out of sausages. Ashley thinks Graham is having a go at him, making a joke about his vasectomy and tells him to take it all down. Claire wanders by and thinks it's a great window display. Ashley and Claire talk about having a night out together, Ashley doesn't seem keen and looks distinctly uncomfortable when she mentions how long it's been since they had any nookie.
Graham goes to talk to David outside Roy's Rolls and warns David that he doesn't want to get in trouble for supplying Joe with those pills. David tries to reassure him that it'll be OK but Graham is not convinced. He tells David, "I can't go back inside, I've got too much to lose now. David cruelly mocks Graham and his job in the butcher's with a bit of part-time gardening in the side. Graham finally grows a pair and tells David, "Listen, it might not mean much to you but I've started to build a life for myself. I'm happy. You should try it sometime."
Michelle and Maria are talking about how Tony has been helping since he even gave a hand at the birth of baby Liam. She mentions how Helen had taken offence to Tony and then moves on to how Helen is made up that Maria is moving to Ireland. Maria reminds Michelle that it's not 100% certain yet and she wonders what she will do with the house on Coronation St. Michelle has it all sorted- Maria should rent the house to her and then Maria will have somewhere to stay when she comes back to the street for a visit. Maria asks Michelle to watch Liam for a bit while she goes out to run some errands.
In the Rovers, Blanche is playing a movie trivia game with Graham who gets the better of her to become the "first person in living memory to win a drink" from Blanche. In the meantime, Steve asks Becky if everything is OK because he saw Slug hanging around earlier. Becky tells Steve there's nothing to worry about. Audrey sees Tony in the bar and asks after Maria who comes into the pub just as Tony is alluding to Maria leaving. Audrey gives her a big hug and asks her what is the mystery about Maria leaving.
At Gail's, Tina is wheedling the whole story about David out of Joe. Joe is reluctant to tell Tina that it was David's fault but Tina can read between the lines. Joe asks Tina to leave it, thinking of Gail and how it will look, him having asked Gail's son for drugs.
Blanche is at the bar, asking Steve and Becky if they will actually manage to get married this time. Becky tells Blanche that she will not be touching a drop of alcohol until they are married. Blanche is not convinced and when she buys her own drink, insists that Becky have one herself. "Ta, mine's a cider," says Becky. Later, Steve sees Becky drinking her cider and asks her about it. Becky makes Steve taste it- it's only an apple juice. She is determined to prove Blanche wrong but is giving her something to think about for now.
Audrey is asking Tony what he thinks about Maria leaving. Tony says he will miss her. Fiz comes into the bar and Maria is happy to see her. Fizz is amazed to hear the news that Maria will be moving to Ireland. Maria confesses that she wishes Tony would gave her a reason to stay. Fiz urges Maria to tell Tony how she feels.
At Underworld, Tony is looking at a picture of Maria and Liam on his phone. Fiz sticks her head into his office to thank him for letting her take a long lunch to go and see John. Tony makes some comment about how it can't be easy and it must seem like fate is conspiring to keep them apart. Ummm, yeah.
Blanche is giving Graham a hard time at the butcher's about the pork chops when Tina storms in looking for an explanation about the pills he got for Graham. Tina has the whole story straight in her mind how- he got Joe the pills and told David about it so that David could swoop in and take advantage. Graham tries to explain further but Tina doesn't want to know any more.
Ashley and Claire are talking with Steve and Becky in the bar about how Becky and Steve didn't manage to get married last time. Becky's phone rings and Becky mysteriously leaves the bar to answer it. The fact that Becky won't talk in front of him is not lost on Steve who watches his bride suspiciously. Meanwhile, Claire seems to be looking forward to her "alone time" with her husband later but Ashley certainly isn't. He asks Claire if she shouldn't be taking things a bit easier but Claire seems keen for some good lovin'. She asks Ashley if he's feeling self conscious about his operation but Ashley assures her he is OK. After Claire leaves, Graham comes into the bar. Ashley suggests that the two of them get proper bladdered, perhaps in a move to avoid relations with his lovely wife later.
Steve overhears the conversation Becky is having on the phone and asks her who she was talking to when she hangs up. She is lying when she tells him it was an air hostess friend of hers and he knows it but doesn't pursue it any further.
At Maria's, Tony has come round to find Michelle out. Maria mentions that Michelle won't be coming home either. Maria tells Tony again that he has been brilliant and she doesn't know what she would have done without him. "What are friends for?" asks Tony. Maria asks Tony if he would like to be Liam's Godfather. Tony looks completely underwhelmed by this and waits as Maria goes to tend to her baby.
At Gail's, Tina is waiting for David to tell him that she knows everything. "My Dad is upstairs, a sweating desperate mess because of you, " she says. She tells him to stay away and reminds him that she is with Jason, a nice normal bloke now, and threatens him if he hurts her family again, he won't know what's hit him. As a parting shot before she leaves, she tells David that when she thinks of the two of them together, it..... she shudders.
At Maria's, Tony is insulted at being asked to be Liam's Godfather. He asks her, "Is this all I deserve? Godfather. A couple of visits a year. Cards and cash at Christmas and birthdays." He goes on to tell her how much he means to her and finally asks her, "Please stay." Maria heaves a big sigh and tells Tony, "You only had to ask!" They kiss.
Hi, here's the update for Thursday 13th August.
Tony is feeding baby Liam in the living room when Maria comes down in her nightwear. He tells her yes, he sterilised the bottle and he didn't forget to wind him. She kisses him, but then they jump apart as the front door opens – it's Michelle, back from a night out with a friend. She stops in surprise when she sees Tony, but Maria hastily tells her he slept on the sofa. Michelle assumes he had too much whisky. "Something like that," murmurs Tony.
Becky is on the phone. "Let's get this straight, you're chucking in spends, yeah?" she says, adding, "get them towels on them sun loungers!" Then Steve walks in and she hurriedly hangs up, saying she'll ring them back. "Not interrupting anything am I?" he asks. She tells him it's a surprise. "Try not to suck the joy out of it," she says, and walks out of the room. Suspicious as ever, Steve then picks up the phone and dials 1471 to try and see who the caller was, obviously without success, as he sighs and puts the phone down again.
Maria meets up with Tony in the street and apologises for being weird earlier. He asks if he's that much of an embarrassment to her. She tells him that's not fair, she was put on the spot. "It's a massive thing," she says, "she is Liam's sister." She adds that it may be that she needs time and space. "Yes, like the Irish Sea," he says, "I'm beginning to get the picture." Just then Michelle walks up and joins them, and asks if she and Maria can thrash out the tenancy agreement. She says Maria might even want to let to someone else or even sell up. "I don't want to be a millstone round your neck but it seems to be the obvious solution," she says.
Steve is talking to Lloyd, who's moaning on about Liz not answering his calls and not coming back from the wedding. Becky comes past the door and Steve asks where she's been. "Just talking hen nights with Hayley," says Becky, "is that allowed?" She goes off upstairs and Lloyd tells Steve to sort himself out. "You're getting spliced to a very fit bird who loves the bones of you." Steve tells him he's seen Becky talking to Slug. "Ooh, bring back hanging!" says Lloyd, asking if he honestly thinks Becky would be messing around with that druggie. Steve points out he was her ex-boyfriend, but Lloyd tells him he's being paranoid, she's mad for him and he should stop picking holes in it.
Maria meets Tony in the café and tells him she didn't want him to thing she regretted last night. "He slept on the sofa, Michelle, see the crumpled blanket, Michelle," he says sarcastically. She tells him she was panicking over the thought of going public. He points out that they're both free agents and life is for living. How long is she going to wait? He tells her if she's not going to be with him, she should tell him straight. He was there to ease her pain but it seems she doesn't see a future for them. She says if he really believes that he's insane. "So all the cloak and dagger stuff is for others?" he says. She knows she's pathetic – but he thinks she's selfless, caring and sensitive and those are the reasons he's fallen completely in love with her.
Lloyd is disgusted to hear that Becky's hen party is going to be a quiet affair with a cheeseboard! Lloyd says that he and Steve will have cheese on toast at 4 in the morning after many pints of lager, but Steve says he's going to pace himself. Lloyd reckons he'd have more fun in a library! Then the phone rings, but as Steve goes to answer it Becky nearly does herself a mischief lunging to reach it first, and then she rushes out of the room with it. Steve is shocked, but Lloyd just laughs and says she's probably lining up some fat bird for tonight.
Back in the café, Maria tells Tony that after Liam died she thought she'd never be happy again and would have to fake it so that her son didn't grow up with a misery guts for a mother. She never thought something like this could happen. She then tells him that the first person they tell has to be Michelle. He tells her they'll tell her together. He tries to steal a wee kiss but she laughs and tells him once Michelle knows he can take out an ad in the Gazette if he wants to but till then he keeps his hands to himself.
In the pub, Sean is moaning about having to work and not go on the stag night. Steve tells him he won't be missing anything. "You're not kidding," mutters Lloyd. Ashley wants to order whisky chasers – he's going for the drunk and incapable act so that Claire doesn't have to find out he never had the vasectomy.
At the hen party, Betty's advice to a new bride is to always fill the kettle at night in case they turn the water off. (?) Suddenly, on the stereo, come the Gilbert O'Sullivan song – "Matrimony" and Anna and Hayley start to do a dance routine, and everyone claps and sings along. Becky takes herself off for a ciggie and Steve sees her out in the hallway and asks if she's having a good night, then he asks her if there's anything going on with Slug, anything he should know about. "I don't want him dragging you into anything," he says. "What, with me having no mind of me own?" she snaps back. "No," he tells her, "with you being so kind and easily led." Becky isn't happy. "Weak and stupid you mean!" she says. He tells her she's been acting weird all weak, and then her phone rang and she disappeared. "Thanks!" she says, adding that she was trying to something nice for him, to surprise him. She tells him she's been trying to get hold of his dad to see if he would come to the wedding, but now she wishes she hadn't bothered!
Outside, a vision in pink approaches the pub, but then knocks at the house next door. It's Liz – and when Deirdre opens the door she pushes past her and walks inside.
Becky is in the ginnel crying, and when Steve finds her she asks if he's any idea how many times she's cried her heart out for him. "Too many, I'm so sorry," he says. She says his dad is up there with Lord Lucan and The Scarlet Pimpernel. She wanted him to have some family at the wedding, she'll have Roy and Hayley and he'll only have Amy. She wants the wedding to be the happiest day of their lives. He tries to tell her it will be. "What, with your entire family not there?" she cries. He kisses her and asks what his dad said. She tells him that Jim said he would try to be there. Becky just wants things to be normal. Normal is what she's aiming for in life. Steve tells her she's a mentalist and kisses her.
Tony arrives at Maria's with two bottles of wine so they can break the news to Michelle. She tells him that Michelle has taken Ryan for a pizza. "Oh no, how will we fill the time?" he jokes, and, grabbing hold of her they fall over the back of the sofa and they're laughing together like that when the door opens and Michelle and Ryan walk in! Guiltily they jump up, with Maria muttering that they were going to tell her.
Liz is still in Deirdre's house, and Deirdre tells her she's done the right thing coming home for the wedding. Liz says if Steve had done it properly the last time she wouldn't have had to come back and ‘face the music'. She tells Deirdre she can't bear to see Lloyd because she's let things go for too long, she can't look him in the eye.
Meanwhile, back at Maria's house, Michelle is pretty disgusted with what she's seen and doesn't hold back from saying so. Tony wonders why she's so affronted, he and Maria are both free agents. Michelle points out that her brother's only been dead five minutes. "Ten months," says Maria, "three hundred and five days actually!" Michelle thinks that's very good and would bring a tear to a glass eye, there's such a thing as moving on and there's also sticking two fingers up at her brother's grave. Tony asks what the protocol is for two free agents falling in love. Michelle says she's not a free agent, Maria is her brother's wife. "Widow," corrects Maria, and asks if she's supposed to be miserable for the rest of her life. Michelle says that Liam is barely cold. She and Ryan storm out, slamming the door behind them, and Tony takes Maria in his arms and hugs her.
You know that if there's a wedding, everything will go belly up! Just like real life.
Lloyd and Steve don't seem to have caught on to this fact of Soap life. Lloyd's dancing vigorously as he irons Steve's shirt and Steve's busy stressing about last-minute details. It's so refreshing to see Steve's little belly sticking out over his waistband - there's no place for a six-pack in a realistic show!
Slug slithers into the police station to see Hooch, who tells him to meet him outside in two minutes.
Becky's also getting ready, and Roy says she looks radiant. Natasha's there to do Becky and Amy's hair. Becky's looking forward to Steve finding out that she's won the honeymoon and to seeing his face when his dad turns up. She wants to call Steve but Hayley says it's bad luck. Becky points out that this only refers to seeing him, not speaking to him, but Roy says that given her track record, best not!
Hey, hey! It's Andy! He calls at Deidre's and discovers that nobody else knows his mum is there. He walks her all the way to the Rovers.
Upstairs, Steve's on two phones (and almost a hairbrush) at once when his twin and mother creep in and shout "Surprise!" "What are you two doing here?" he asks, once he's picked up the phones from the floor. After giving them big hugs he asks Andy to go downstairs and keep Lloyd company while he speaks to his mother.
Downstairs, Lloyd spots Andy and realises Liz is upstairs, but Andy bars him from leaping up the stairs.
On another staircase, by a canal somewhere near a police station, Slug tells Hooch that if he wants to nail Becky as much as Slug does, he has to trust Slug. Hooch hands him a packet, warning that if he disappears with it he'll be hunted down like a dog.
Steve's finding it hard to get a straight answer from Liz, who insists she's come back just to see him marry Becky. Lloyd arrives upstairs, pursued by Andy. Liz tells him she's come back to see Steve get married and it's nothing to do with him. He accuses her of two-timing him. "How could I be two-timing someone I'm not even going out with?" Oh, poor Lloyd.
Hayley's rung to check with Steve that everything's OK. She tells Becky that she thinks Liz is back. Becky's distressed. She only invited Jim because Liz said she wasn't coming.
Slug sneaks into the empty Rovers, finds Becky's handbag (which, handily, has her "Becky" necklace in it) and stuff the mystery packet into the bag. On his way out, Betty spots him and tells him they're not open yet, though she looks a bit puzzled as he leaves.
At the venue, Eileen and Jesse are too early, with someone else's wedding blaring Vivaldi through the hallway.
In the street, Michelle tells Steve she hopes the wedding goes OK, though she tells him she won't take up his offer of an invitation to the wedding. She meets Fiz and Kelly. Kelly asks about Tony Gordon shacking up with Maria. Michelle wants to know whether Kelly's life is really so boring she has to gossip about Michelle's family. Kelly stalks off and Fiz apologises for her.
The wedding car has arrived but before she gets into it, Becky tells Roy she feels suddenly unwell. Roy says it's just nerves but Becky is sure she has food poisoning. She sits on the running board of the vintage car and Roy sits beside her, leading her through some deep breaths and telling her about his own experience when he married Hayley. "I thought I was going to die. I could hardly breathe." Becky starts to calm down as he points out he does have recognised first aid qualifications. "I love you, Roy Cropper," she says, and tears came to eyes all over Britain.
Steve and Lloyd are at the venue (if this is the town hall, it's changed an awful lot and found itself a huge park), along with most of the guests. There's a knock on the door and everyone thinks it's the bride. Steve, Lloyd and Andy turn to face the door as a jocular Irish voice asks: "Ah, well, well, well! Is it right there's a wedding going on in here?" About the only person not surprised is Steve. Lloyd is annoyed at being the last person to know. Jim tells Liz he heard she was in Spain and she asks who told him. "Er, that'd be me," says Becky from the doorway, stopping all conversation. "You look fantastic!" Liz tells her. And Becky does, her hair held up by a silver headpiece, her slender silver and white short dress topped by a frou-frou band of ostrich feathers. Steve tells everyone how wonderful she is and how she arranged for him to have his family there. He makes a lunge for her but she dodges him, saying the celebrant hasn't said he can kiss the bride yet. Steve drags her to the front of the room, saying they'd better get on with it because he wants to kiss this woman. "I love him when he's gagging for it!" Becky tells everyone on her way past. Liz's friendly mask slips.
The Windass clan manoeuvre a two-layer iced rich fruit cake across the cobbles and are almost hit by Fiz on her scooter.
Steve and Becky take their vows, punctuated by the feathers making Steve sneeze. They are pronounced man and wife and Hayley uncrosses fingers which seem to have been crossed for a very long time. Becky demands to know whether they're really married, whether it's all legal, and whether the celebrant is a real registrar and not some woman escaped from a loony bin. "You may kiss the bride," says the registrar, by way of reply, and Steve does.
Michelle goes to Maria's to apologise for over-reacting. She says she doesn't do well with change. She offers to stay while Maria phones the senior Connors. She points out that she once told her mum by phone that she was pregnant at 15 and survived.
As the open-top car takes Steve and Becky back to the street, she tells Steve she wants to stop for a smoke before they go into the Rovers. As they pull up, Rita and Emily stop and congratulate them. Steve scoops up Becky, fag and all, but drops her quickly. "Lift with the legs," advises Emily.
Eventually, Steve carries Becky, without cigarette, into the Rovers. She demands to address the guests. Somewhat incoherently, she says she hasn't had a drink for 48 hours, so she officially, "as boss of this wedding" declares the bar and buffet open!
Michelle's on the phone to her mother, advising her to have a sit down and two whiskies. She assures her that Maria and baby Liam are very happy. Maria thanks her and says she loves Tony, but that doesn't mean she ever stopped loving Liam. They hug.
Lloyd's finishing his best-man speech. He says that although Steve is a pathetic, vain, dim-witted coward, "I love that man. And loving Steve McDonald is no easy task." He says it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it. Becky volunteers and Lloyd proposes the toast. Becky refuses to follow tradition and let the groom speak next. She climbs on to a seat and tells him that by way of compensation for mucking up the first wedding, she's taking him on a luxury honeymoon to a Greek island. Steve's stunned. "How did you . . . ?" "Never mind how - are you thrilled?" she asks. He is. But as they celebrate, someone comes in and asks for the licensee, and is followed by several uniformed police. "It's the drugs squad," Liz announces to Steve. "They've got a warrant to search the pub."
The end of episode one.
We return to the invaded Rovers where the police drug squad are roaming about among the bewildered locals. Becky is looking crestfallen at the turn that the day has taken. The officers are ordered to go upstairs and an indignant Liz insists on going with them. Jim offers to go with her but she tells him to keep an eye on Steve. Steve demands to know what is going on and Jim accuses Andy of pulling off a practical joke.
Ashley, desperate for the toilet, approaches the gents. The officer guarding the door tells him he isn't allowed in. Ashley, who has had five pints, has a pain streaked look on his face. Claire approaches and has a go at the police officer, telling him that Ashley has just had a vasectomy so is in a lot of pain. The officer eventually relents, and takes Ashley inside.
Lloyd approaches Jim and asks him what he is doing. A confused Jim replies that he isn't doing anything. Lloyd accuses him of making moves on Liz and Jim wonders what it has to do with Lloyd. Jim just laughs when Lloyd says that he is seeing Liz and shouts over to the police that if they're looking for someone who is on drugs, then Lloyd is their man. When Lloyd warns Jim to back off, Jim tells him in a threatening manner that nobody tells him what to do.
A police officer is going through Betty's bag and she is listing all the medicines that she has.
We return to the conversation between Jim and Lloyd where Jim reminds Lloyd that Liz has been in Spain for the past few months. Lloyd tells Jim that their relationship has nothing to do with him but Jim retorts that it was Lloyd who brought it up. Lloyd ignores this and tells Jim that liz isn't interested in him. Jim merely shrugs and says that that is for her to decide. He is clearly enjoying winding Lloyd up. Steve demands to know what is going on between them. Jim tells him that Lloyd is warning him off Liz. Steve asks Lloyd if he and Liz are back on. Lloyd, trying to ignore Jim's smug smile, tells them both he doesn't need Jim sticking his nose in.
We move over to an exciting discussion in Maria's house as she and Tony discuss the mysterious appearance of pickle in the house. Tony confirms that it is his jar. Maria says his pickle belongs in her kitchen (let's not even go there). Tony sees this as an invite to move in and rushes out, telling Maria to give him two hours. "Result!" she exclaims, triumphantly.
Becky is still upset over the chaos in her wedding reception. Steve hugs her and apologises but she says that it isn't his fault. As the police come back through, an angry Steve yells at them that they don't have any drugs and that if he even thought someone had been dealing then he would...He is interrupted when a police officer pulls out some packages of suspicious white powder from an elegant looking silver bag which belongs to Becky. All eyes are on Becky as she cries that they don't belong to her. She accuses the female police officer of planting them but Liz confirms that she saw her find them. An officer comes over and arrests her as she screams for him to stop. She is handcuffed and led out of the pub and she shouts for Steve to help her as she is dragged away.
Meanwhile, DC Hooch has just been notified of the events and he tells Slug that he has done well. He gives Slug his payment and warns him never to show his face around the area again.
Steve chases Becky out of the pub and manages to get one minute alone with her. She sobs that she hasn't done anything but Steve cuts over her saying that he will stand by her no matter what she has done. She repeats twice that she is innocent and tells him it is really important how he replies to this. He proceeds to give her advice on how to answer questions and she pulls away from him, saying that if he doesn't believe her, then she doesn't need him. She is driven away weeping in the police ca as Steve looks on.
Ashley emerges from the toilets, still red in the face. He explains that he couldn't go with a police officer watching over him.
Steve is drowning his sorrows at the bar, looking utterly miserable. He says that he knew Becky was up to something and Liz says it wouldn't be the first time. Jim and Andy are surprised to learn that Becky has dabbled in drugs before. Lloyd offers to give Steve a lift to the station but he replies that she doesn't want him there. Liz advises Steve that this is for the best.
Eddie and Anna are taking his desecrated cake out of the Rovers. Kelly and Fiz walk by and Anna offers them a taste but they decline.
Liz is telling Steve that he has had a lucky escape. Jim agrees with her and says that he is better off out of it. Steve calls them both hypocrites saying that they are in no place to judge Becky's past but they both stick to their guns that he should move on from her. Hayley and Roy watch on, wondering why Steve hasn't gone to support Becky. Roy says that whether Becky has done anything or not, he would stick by her. Liz is telling Steve that she is sure they could get an annulment. Steve is horrified saying that he doesn't want an annulment. Roy and Hayley walk over and offer to go and support Becky but Steve says that it is his job and he and Lloyd head out.
Becky is being examined at the police station and DC Hooch approaches, A look of realisation dawns on Becky and she realises that she has been set up. He hisses that he has missed so many promotions thanks to her but finally he will be able to get his own back.
Jim is sitting with Liz. He asks her why she didn't tell him about Lloyd. She shrugs and says there is nothing to tell anymore. Jim warns her that she should say that to Lloyd as he clearly hasn't got the message.
Over at the police station, Lloyd asks Steve if he thinks his mum and dad still have a spark but it clearly isn't the time for this topic. Steve demands impatiently of the officer at reception if he can see Becky
Becky is being interrogated by DC Hooch. He is asking her who she deals to but she says that he should make up the names. Becky asks if this makes him happy. He smirks and says that he has had worse days but she sobs that she hasn't. She looks at him and says she knows her rights. She orders him to charge her and then bail her but he says she will be spending the night in the cells.
Steve is still shouting outside and DC Hooch comes out. Steve demands to know why he is there and he suddenly realises what is going on. Steve accuses him of setting her up and warns him that he will fight him every step of the way. He sneers that he can have Becky in the morning, whatever may be left of her. Steve looks miserable as Hooch swaggers away and says to Lloyd that he has really let Becky down.
Becky meanwhile languishes in a dark cell with tears streaming down her face as she spends her wedding night behind bars.
So what have we learned tonight?
-Liz, being the master of camouflage that she is, seems to think that a bright red cocktail dress is the best outfit to wear when trying to be hidden and avoid people
-Steve keeps his safety pins in the top drawer
-Kelly likes to go out dressed like a yellow teletubby
-Roy didn't die on his wedding day
-Michelle, who regularly leaves to go on tour with a band on impulase, doesn't like change
-Emily is an expert on bride lifting
-Butchers aren't drug addicts
-Betty keeps the following drugs in her bag: Pills for blood pressure, cholesterol, angina and, as Sean seems to think, contraceptives
-Kelly makes it her hobby on a Friday to wander around the Street all day annoying the locals. Victims today were Michelle, whom she annoyed by gossiping about Maria, The Windasses, whom she nearly knocked over when they were carrying Eddie's cake, and Eddie and Anna later on when she audibly criticised the mess of the cake that was left.
-The following people have colourful pasts: Becky, Jim, Steve
Dubious awards this evening:
Easiest way to doom a wedding: "That has to be a brilliant omen, doesn't it!?" Becky
Warning that should have been adhered to: "It's bad luck!" Hayley about Becky contacting Steve
Worst case of wishful thinking: "I'm sure they'll both be on their best behaviour" Roy about Liz and Jim
Most stomach churning thought: "I love it when he's gagging for it!" Becky about Steve
Most alluring offer: "You could watch" Claire to the police officer about Ashley going to the toilet
Least Likely Prospect: "One day we'll look back on this and laugh" Becky
That's all from me this evening. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!
Written by Joe Turner, directed by Pip Short
Becky is lying on the grubby cot in the cell. Hooch enters and taunts Becky. He tells her she is released on bail but lies and says Steve wants a divorce and he continues to try to wind her up. She just lies there without flinching until he leaves.
Steve is keep in thought when an un-madeup Liz (wearing a very ordinary high necked shirt!) comes in and surveys the remnants of the wedding, trashed by the cops. She doesn't know if they can even open up now that they've got a reputation. Steve defends Becky and says it was a fit up. She's dubious and spitefully points out her name is above the door and it's their living that's being lost. (Yeah so why were you off in Sunny Spain for months if you were so concerned? Sadly, Steve doesn't throw that back in her face.) Steve vows to make it up to Becky but Liz continues to rag on Steve's back, worried that the Flying Horse (first mention of that in yonks!) and the Weathy Arms will take their customers away. She lays all the blame on Becky. Steve has had enough and leaves to go to pick up Becky.
Joe pokes his nose out of the door across the road. I think the fresh air and the great outdoors are still a bit much for him. He backs away and closes the door again as Steve is getting into his car. Lloyd comes jogging up to ask if there's news (and isn't he looking svelte these days?). Like a good mate, he offers to come with. Steve thanks him for his best man duties as Kelly goes tottering by, smug nose in the air with a downwards glance towards the men. Lloyd asks about Liz but is told to ask Liz himself. I guess Steve has enough to worry about without getting in the middle of his mother's disaster of a relationship. He wishes Lloyd good luck.
Steve drives off and goes to the pub. Liz reluctantly lets him in. He gently asks what happened and why she didn't come back from Spain. She starts to get emotional.
Sophie is nagging Kevin in the garage, wondering why he's not been running lately. She thinks Molly is to blame. When Molly is around, she seems to keep Kevin on the road but now she's on holidays, Kevin is slacking off. Sophie accuses Kevin of being a quitter, with a complete set of excuses. He protests. Prove it, she challenges.
There's a pair of satin peep-toe stilettos on the desk at the police office. Feathery Becky stands behind them, signing papers and looking bereft because nobody has come to get her.
Back in the Kabin, Ramsay has returned from his paper round after stopping for a coffee. Norris lights into him about a cancellation that he couldn't resolve because Ramsay kept getting the woman's order wrong. Allegedly. Tina comes out looking for tea mugs but when Ramsay goes to pass him one that's on the counter, he fumbles and drops it. Norris is horrified, that's *his* mug!!! He refuses the offer of a new one because it won't have the memories. (sigh)
Ashley pops home to get a gardening book for Graeme and sees Claire is getting ready to go out to a DVT support group meeting. I don't understand why he seems surprised. Claire usually tells Ashley everything. She witters on about how great the group and the people are. (Oh dear. Last time she was involved in a support group, it ended up with a crazy woman burning down her house, trying to take her husband away and kidnapping her baby!) She goes off and Ashley looks pleased that she seems to be recovering well.
Becky exits the inner office. Still nobody there. She refuses the offer of a taxi but Steve comes in just then. He'd nipped to the loo. He protested, he was there the night before and had come back this morning but wasn't allowed to see her. He declares he believes her innocence and apologizes sincerely. She doesn't look too overjoyed, asking him about the divorce that Hooch told her about. Steve, of course, says Hooch was lying (just as Hooch comes through the door). Becky is still very, very hurt. Hooch says he can re-open the pub and Steve predicts they will prove Becky is innocent. Hooch, with the upper hand for the moment, waves his arrogance and sarcasm around. Steve just shakes his head and follows Becks out the door.
After the break, we see they are in the car, still parked outside the cop shop, I think. He tries to reason with her, defend why he initially thought she was guilty. He cites all her secretive phone calls, Slug hanging around, and then this expensive honeymoon trip makes an appearance. That combined with the drugs and money and Bob's your uncle. She doesn't think much of his apology. He grovels. He said he should have put 2 and 2 together and come up with Becky, the woman he loves and trusts. "You hurt me" she murmurs, her voice dripping with pain, and wonders if everyone else thinks she's a dealer. He takes a deep breath and says the ones that really know her, will believe her. That'll be a yes then, for the most part. He reassures her that he still wants him if she'll have him. She states that she knows Hooch is doing this for revenge and that she's trouble to which he replies that he loves trouble (well, he's got that right!) and he really thinks they will beat this. He offers to run her a bath when they get home and she looks at him briefly, and says ok. That seems to be the turning point for now, so he drives off. I have to say that Simon Gregson and Katherine Kelly were magnificent in this scene. There was no hollering or dramatics. It was quiet, filled with hurt, pain, betrayal and love.
We go to more pain as Lloyd and Liz are dissecting their crumbled relationship in another stonking good scene. Liz reckons she's had a mid-life crisis and doesn't know who she is. He doesn't really understand. She lists all the labels she has, mother, grandma, landlady and girlfriend and says she's rubbish at all of them. They discuss the age difference but she thinks it's more to do with how she feels than about the age difference. She felt pushed out when Becky moved in and the idea of a fresh start in Spain was very appealing. They're both on the edge of tears most of the time, sometimes spilling over. Lloyd is really hurt. He was enjoying their relationship but is sad that she wasn't.
Over to the Kabin, Rita asks Tina why she's been quiet. She admits she's worried about her father. He's got a history of depression and she can see him sinking deeper like she's seen before and feels helpless. She jokes about giving him a tough love kick up the backside but doesn't know if that will work this time. Rita says it might work, and if not, it's not as if Joe's going to stop loving his daughter.
Fathers and daughters eh? Sophie has started up a website for charity donations for Kevin's charity fun run to encourage him. She's even given the first amount. He hesitates and makes an excuse about a possible problem in his leg but she calls him on it. He pulls up short and says she's right, he'll finish the race if it kills him. They exchange a joke and a hug.
Back to Liz and Lloyd. The age thing again. He suggests that she's not too old for him so she counters that he might be too young for her but says he did nothing wrong. It just doesn't feel right and she should be doing more grandma-ing. The end comes, and they exchange one last hug. He seems to have a few faint hopes as he leaves but it doesn't look likely. Aww... I liked them together.
Ramsay has bought Norris a new mug, very similar to the old one even down to the colour but Norris is peevish, as usual. Rita orders him to accept the gift but he won't so she tells him to put kettle on. Ramsay can't stop, though, as he has an appointment in town which gives Norris even more reason to be nasty when Ramsay leaves. Choose, Norris, you don't want him here but when he makes an excuse to leave, you think he's snubbing you? Right, Norris decides he should sack Ramsay. Rita objects but Norris insists Ramsay is not up to the job.
Tina goes to see her father. She accuses him of enjoying being a drama queen, acting like an addict seeing as everyone thinks he is one anyway. He's gobsmacked at her attack. She continues, saying that she at least got out of bed that morning and she's facing the day, her job, her responsibilities like having a weak, pathetic dad. He points out that he's not her responsibility so she whirls away and slopes out, slamming the door and leaving him perplexed.
Becky and Steve have arrived back at the pub. She's really not looking forward to showing her face. They kiss before getting out of the car.
Claire is in a tizzy in the butcher shop. Apparently the funding for the support group has been pulled and they can't meet anymore. Rita has arrived and hears the end of her rant. She suggests there be a fundraiser, maybe a community fair type of event and Claire is just the one to organize it. Claire jumps right into the idea enthusiastically. Ashley doesn't look too sure.
Steve and Becky enter the pub to a sour faced mother-in-law who is not best pleased to hear her son defend his wife. He's encouraging Becky to get cleaned up and get behind the bar and show everyone they will come out on top. Liz forbids it. She does not believe Becky. She bans Becky from the bar. Becky walks to the back without a word, leaving Steve glaring at his mother.
Is Steve going to stand up to Liz? We'll find out in a half hour.
We're back in the Rovers where the heated argument carries on. Steve tells Liz that her reaction is playing right into Hooch's hands, but she dismisses these claims, assuring them that her reaction is down to what she saw. Becky storms down the stairs and yells that the drugs were planted but Liz retorts that she was there and no one planted anything in her handbag. As the argument escalates, Liz calls Becky a dirty, disgusting, drug dealing, tramp. Steve leaps to his new wife's defense and warns Liz never to speak that way about his wife again. Liz tells Becky she shouldn't hold her breath for an apology, or better still, she should.
Out on the Street Kevin is leaving the shop and sees Molly and Tyrone climbing out of a taxi, Molly in particular looking quite tanned. Tyrone calls him over and Kevin asks how the holiday was. Tyrone tells him it was brilliant but he feels a bit sick from the flight. Molly coldly reminds him that it might have something to do with a hangover but Tyrone protests that it was the last night. Molly asks Kevin how his running is going and he responds by telling her Sophie is pressuring him to keep at it. The conversation ends with an awkward look between Molly and Kevin after Tyrone goes back in the house.
Upstairs in the Rovers, Becky miserably tells Steve that Liz is only saying what everyone is thinking. She reminds Steve what she was like when she first arrived and knows people assume she is still that way. She goes on to say that Liz wants rid of her and as soon as she spends a few years in prison, Steve won't be around anymore either. Steve embraces her and assures her it won't come to that.
Claire is still trying to convince Ashley that a fete is a good idea. She asks a passing Peter what he thinks but Ashley jumps in and says it's not that he thinks it's a bad idea, he just doesn't think it should be Claire organising it.
Tyrone comes over to the garage, and Kevin clearly wasn't expecting him at work. Tyrone shrugs that he might as well as he was hoping for some romantic time with Molly but none was available. Kevin asks what was going on on the doorstep and he says Molly was upset as he stayed for extra drinks on the last night after she went to bed. He says overall, however, that the holiday was like a second honeymoon. Kevin tries hard to disguise his jealousy at this.
Emily is at the shop and Norris tells her she will have plenty more time to spend with Ramsay as soon he won't be working there anymore. When Norris explains why, Emily leaves, telling him he is being very petty. (Norris, petty!?)
Kevin has snuck away from the garage and creeps into Molly's back garden, somehow knowing she'd be in the yard hanging out washing. She acts very coldly towards him and when he asks her to pull out of the race she turns him down flat, saying if he can't handle it, he should pull out.
Steve and Becky are still trying to get to the bottom of the situation. Steve suggests Slug but Becky says he has never been anywhere near her bag. Steve gets to his feet and heads out, saying he is going to sort everything out.
We're now in the Webster conservatory where Sally is caught reading magazines and eating biscuits by Kevin. He sees she is reading a property magazine and, for once, he announces an interest in moving away. Sally is excited at the prospect after Kevin assures her he has never been more serious about anything (particularly his marriage...)
Tyrone returns home carrying a bunch of flowers. Molly is making dinner and her face melts into the first smile of the day (or month?) as Tyrone asks if she still loves him. "Of course I do," she replies.
Having eased past a disapproving Liz, Roy and Hayley visit Becky. Becky is delighted to see her visitors. Roy advises her that the best legal representation should be her first priority. Becky is more concerned where Steve has gone. She suggests he has fled to Australia. When Hayley tells her she is being silly, Becky points out that his phone is turned off.
However, Steve isn't in Australia (The Corrie budget probably wouldn't allow this). He sits in his taxi, watching the police station.
Over in the pub, Ramsay is telling Claire that the fete is a brilliant idea, but Blanche isn't convinced, seeing the fete as another way to leech money from the locals. Norris turns up and when Claire asks who will help her, Norris volunteers Ramsay, seeing as he will have a lot of spare time on his hands (to Norris this constitutes as an official dismissal) Ramsay however, says he can't help as he is moving back to Australia
Over on one of the tables Sally continues to be enthused by the idea of moving quickly away.
Back at the police station, Hooch emerges and Steve is on his tail. Catching up with him, he asks what he wants. Hooch reminds Steve that Becky was guilty last time and he got her off so it's payback time. Before he swaggers away he menacingly says he is sorry for one thing: that he didn't get Steve too...yet.
Peter is advising Ashley to show more support to Claire so when it comes to telling her he never had a vasectomy, she will take it easier. Ashley agrees and takes Claire aside, offering to help with the fete.
Emily tells Ramsay that she is sorry he is going away and asks if it is anything to do with his hospital appointment. Ramsay shrugs and says that if Norris had greeted him as she had, then things would have been very different. Norris and Blanche meanwhile are conspiring to find out who was helping Becky deal drugs. Blanche reckons the whole family were in on it.
Steve is very unsubtly following Hooch so it's unsurprising that as he turns a corner, Hooch is waiting to pin him against a wall. He warns Steve not to cross him and advises him to spend time with ‘wifey" while he still can. Steve apologises for Hooch missing out on his promotion but Hooch tells him it's useless to try and talk him round. He approaches his car but Steve stops him and asks how much it will take to make him call off the charges. Hooch asks how much he is offering and Steve hands over £2000. Hooch accepts it and climbs into his car. Steve asks if they have a deal and Hooch replies: "Every village needs an idiot!" before speeding off. Steve is beside himself.
So what have we learned tonight (except for don't give bent coppers wads of your money?)
-Wittering affects Claire's blood pressure (which suggests to me, she should consider a voice transplant and a change of husband!)
-Mrs Wilkinson doesn't tolerate the wrong newspaper
-According to Kevin, Sally reads ‘property porn"
-Liz is difficult to shuffle past
-Dev's isn't a proper florist
-Steve always has his phone on
-There are no pubs like The Rovers in Cheshire
-Steve, sitting in a clearly marked taxi with loud music blaring from an open window as he watches Hooch, is the master of disguise
-Norris is everyone's little cross to bear.
Dubious awards this evening:
Advice least likely to be taken: "Let's all just calm down" Steve to Liz and Becky
Most promising storyline: "She's going to staff this bar with the sexiest barmaid she can find!" Becky about Liz
Most sensitive self-analysis: "I couldn't organise a booze up in a brewery" Recovering alcoholic Peter
Life's biggest mystery award: "Why can't women just say what they mean like blokes!?" Tyrone
Conclusion everyone else came to much earlier: "I need a shower" Becky, sitting with make up streaks, in the creased wedding dress she was wearing the previous night as she slept in a grotty police cell.
Most shared opinion: "I should've stayed in Spain" Liz
Most exciting couple: "Why don't we go for a meal and talk about the fete?" Ashley to Claire.
More from me on Friday
Have a good week!
Amy is having her breakfast in the kitchen with Liz when Becky comes in and tells her to hurry or they'll be late. Liz asks what she's going to be late for – she's on holiday. Becky explains that she's going to a mate's, Steve thought it would be better for her to get away for a bit. Liz mutters that here is not the problem. As she helps Amy with her shoes, Becky remarks that they're getting a bit tight and next time the sales are on they can go shopping for new ones with her daddy's credit card. Liz says she shouldn't make promises she might not be able to keep, she might not be around. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mum," says Becky. Liz snaps at her not to call her Mum. Becky tells her she's done nothing wrong. Steve comes in then and tells Becky not to waste her breath. Liz says they might not like it but it's the truth. Steve asks how she can bang on about truth after some of the stunts she's pulled. Liz tells him she might have made mistakes, but she's never been caught selling….. He stops her saying any more, and she storms out of the room.
Kevin persuades Sally to pull a sickie so they can take a drive out to Cheshire and look at houses for sale. "Maybe it's the right time for us, move on, make a fresh start. Other people do it," he says.
Joe's looking smart in a suit and tie, Gail kisses him and he tells her he can't remember the last time he wore his suit. "Probably in court," snipes David. Gail tells Joe not to be too disappointed if he doesn't find a job today, it could take a while. He says he hopes not, and goes off out of the door. David asks his mother what kind of job Joe is looking for, locksmith? Drug rep? Gail isn't happy with his attitude and asks why he has to be like this. "Me? He's the pill head, he's the one that lied to you, stole from you and broke into the medical centre," says David. "He's a mentalist!" She says Joe's trying to change, but David tells her to get rid of him or she'll regret it.
In the pub, Becky tells Betty she knows she saw her give Slug money, but it wasn't what she thought. Betty says she might be old, but she's not daft. Just then Steve comes in and says they've got a meeting with solicitor this afternoon, she was set up and they need to find out who it was. Becky says they know who it was, but Steve tells her it can't have been Hooch, not on his own. How would he have got the stuff in her bag without anyone seeing? Steve starts going through a list of people who don't like Becky, and when he gets to Slug she says that he's her mate, or he was. Betty suddenly tells them he was there that morning. "On my wedding day?" asks Becky, "the day of the raid? Are you sure?" Betty repeats that she's old, but not daft.
In the Kabin, Ramsay asks Rita if he might use the shop computer, but Norris snaps that it's not a cyber cafe. "Anyway, what do you want it for?" he asks. Ramsay tells him he was going to look up some flights. Norris immediately changes his attitude and tells him to come through to the back. When they're on their own, Rita asks Emily if she's ok. Emily tells her she thinks Ramsay's making a terrible mistake. Rita asks if she's told him that, but she says she hasn't, he's under enough pressure as it is. Out the back at the computer, Norris is merrily searching for one-way flights to Australia, with Ramsay looking on.
Outside in the street, Claire and Ashley bump into Molly, explain about their fete and ask if Dev might contribute a hamper. Molly however, is watching Kevin and Sally drive by in Rosie's car, laughing and smiling, and doesn't answer. "Molly?" cries Claire. Molly seems to come back to earth with a bump. "Not now!" she snaps. "Sorry?" asks Claire. "Just leave it will yer!" Molly snaps and turns round and rushes back into the shop. "Do you think I was too hard-sell?" asks Ashley.
Joe sees Jason crossing the road and asks how things are going with the flat and if he needs any help. "No, you're all right," says Jason, walking on. Joe catches him by the arm and says he really would like to try and put things right with him and Tina. Jason pauses for a moment and then asks: "How's your back?" Joe tells him it's good. "Good enough for some heavy lifting?" asks Jason. Joe nods and rushes off to get changed.
Norris has found some flights for Ramsay and has underlined in red one that leaves the day after tomorrow. Rita says he should have been a travel agent. Norris says luckily for her he chose the retail trade, and goes off for lunch. When they're alone Rita tells Ramsay that he'll be missed and he shouldn't let Norris force him to go back if it's not what he wants.
Steve and Becky have arrived at the shop where Slug said he worked. Inside they ask for Neal, but the guy who turns up is big and black – not Slug at all. Becky asks for Neal Ackroyd, but they don't know him. As they walk away the penny drops – Slug set her up! Becky says she can't believe it, after all they went through together, dosing in squats, the begging and stealing, the drugs…. Steve thinks it's good that they've found this out, now they know Hooch wasn't working on his own, now they know who helped him.
In the Kabin, Norris is off to see the dental hygienist and Tina has arrived to cover for him. Tina is just showing him the new bracelet that Jason has bought her when David walks in. "So that's off Dimshaw is it?" he sneers, when Norris has gone. "How many goes of the crane did it take him?" Tina just stares at him. "Am I going to get the silent treatment every time I come in here?" he asks. "If I'm serving," she says. He tells her he was only trying to help her dad, but Tina says the only person he ever helps is himself. "You know what? Stuff you, your dad and your poxy magazine!" says David, flinging the magazine across the shop and storming out.
Steve and Becky are telling the solicitor about Slug and Hooch and how Slug planted the drugs in her bag. He asks if someone saw him do this, but they have to admit that no-one did. The solicitor then asks if Slug is willing to stand up in court and admit conspiracy to supply drugs and attempting to pervert the course of justice. "We don't know," says Becky, "because no one knows where he is." The solicitor tells them it's just speculation and no jury would believe it, and he advises Becky to prepare herself for a custodial sentence.
Kevin and Sally have come back from their property hunt somewhat disheartened. Sally could tell that the estate agent knew that they couldn't afford any of the houses they looked at. "Well, we couldn't," points out Kevin. He says that they could look elsewhere, it doesn't have to be Cheshire. Sally thinks maybe they should stay put for now, after all their jobs are close by and so is Sophie's school, - and they have got the only house around with a conservatory! (Well, that says it all, really!)
Gail is looking for Joe. She sees Tina and tells her he went to the job centre earlier and she hasn't seen him since. Just then Joe and Jason come up the street in Joe's van. "Hello girlies, fancy a ride?" calls Jason though the window. Gail purses her lips and stalks off. "What did I say?" asks Jason.
Steve is out at the back of the Rovers when Jim comes up to talk to him. "You look tired, Steven," says Jim. Steve tells him it gets knackering always trying to look on the bright side. He says they know who set her up and they know who planted the gear, but the solicitor has told them it won't make any difference. "My wife is being sent to prison for something she didn't do and I can't do a thing to help," he says. Jim asks him how many people he employs at the cab company. "15 with part timers, why?" asks Steve. "And how many cab companies are there in Manchester?" asks Jim. Steve asks why. "Because if I was looking for someone they'd be the people I'd ask for help," says Jim. Steve stands up and hugs him. Becky and Andy come out then, and Steve asks Becky if she has any photos of Slug. She says she might have and asks why. He tells her he wants to give one to every cab driver in Manchester. Becky throws her arms round Steve and plants a big kiss on his lips. Then she turns to Jim. "Did you know your son was a flippin" genius?"
Molly goes into the pub and sees Claire and Ashley. She offers to pay for their drinks and tells them she was totally out of order this morning, and she will ask Dev for a hamper. She tells them to go and sit down, she'll bring their drinks over.
Emily asks Rita if Ramsay has been strong-armed into booking a flight yet. "Not yet," says Rita, "but he's going to unless we can change his mind."
Sally and Kevin come in and, after checking that the factory lot aren't in, Sally tells Claire and Ashley that they've been viewing properties in Cheshire. As they talk about it they're overheard by Molly, who looks rather shocked. She brings Claire and Ashley's drinks over but tells them she's just remembered something and leaves in a hurry.
Gail and Joe are in the kitchen and he tells her how he went to the job centre and then came home and gave Jason a hand. He didn't know she was worried about him. "Well why would I?" she asks, sarcastically, "everything's been going so well lately." He asks if he's supposed to call her every time he wants to leave the house. "I'm better now," he says, "you're just going to have to trust me." Unbeknown to them, David has come in quietly and is listening to every word. Gail says she's not sure she can trust him, she's tired and sick of sleepless nights. She's not sure she can do it any more. David bangs the door to make his presence known, and Gail goes upstairs for a bath. On their own, David turns to Joe. "Just leave her alone," he says. Joe asks what his problem is now. "You," replies David, "you and your skank of a daughter." He goes on to say that he and Gail were much better off before the two of them showed up. "you're not wanted here, either of you, so do us a favour and get lost will you!" he says.
Andy tells Liz the taxi has arrived to take him to the airport. She tells him to call the minute he gets back, but doesn't go outside to see him off. Jim then tells her he's off to the airport too, and tells her to take care of herself. Liz doesn't look too happy to see him go.
Emily, Rita and Norris are sitting together and the conversation gets round to Norris. Rita says she's surprised Ramsay even talks to Norris after the way he's treated him. Ramsay says he doesn't want to fight any more, life is too short. "So why are you letting him dictate yours to you?" asks Rita, and asks if he honestly wants to go back to Australia or would prefer to stay there. "I think you know the answer to that," says Ramsay. She then tells him to stop looking for flights and start looking for flats.
Andy and Jim take their leave of Steve and Andy gets into the taxi. Just as Jim's about to get in, Liz comes rushing out. "You didn't think I'd let you leave without saying a proper goodbye did you?" she asks him, and hugs him. He then kisses her hands and says he'll see her soon and gets in the car. She totally ignores her son, who is also leaving! After the taxi has gone she turns to Steve. "About what happened this morning," she says. He tells her to save her apologies. She says she wasn't going to apologise, but the next time he wanted to bite her head off would he save it until Amy was out of the room. She goes back inside and Becky comes out. She's found a photo of Slug and he says that in the morning he'll run off loads of copies and give them out to every cab firm in Manchester. "We WILL find him," he says.
Good afternoon/evening/morning and welcome to another Friday night double-banger of Corrie.
We open with Gail trudging down her stairs. She spots a cooked breakfast on the table - she's interrupted Joe before he can bring her breakfast in bed. She tells him it all seems a bit too late. He takes her hand and tells her that she stood by him at his lowest ebb and should be pleased now he's getting better. She tells him how worried she was when he vanished yesterday. She's not sure she can trust him again. He asks if she wants them to finish and she says she honestly doesn't know. "I'm sorry, it's the best I can do at the moment."
Becky offers to set up the bar and when Liz refuses gets quite sarcastic. Steve comes in - he's had some Missing posters run off with Slug's picture on them. When Becky's out of the room Liz tells him it might be a red herring - Becky just wants them to think it was Slug. Steve tells her she has a twisted mind. "That's how I've survived this long," she says. Whereas Steve lets every woman he meets drag him from disaster to disaster. Becky comes back, keen to get going. Liz relents enough to tell Steve good luck as they go out.
Joe's lying on the sofa and suddenly leaps to his feet.
In the flat, Jason and Tina try to get Eileen to realise how good the flat will be when they've finished. Eileen leaves and Tina tells Jason they should get on with it. She takes off her new bracelet and we see a very pointed camera shot of her laying it on top of a newspaper (this is a Clue). Joe arrives and Tina suggests he start stripping the walls while they go out for some equipment. He tells them he knows someone who will lend them some trestles.
In the cab office, Steve's briefing the drivers on the search for Slug. When they've gone, Lloyd asks after Liz. Steve refuses to tell him, but Becky suggests he go and see her. She tells Steve that if Lloyd and Liz make up it might get Liz off their backs for a while.
The Klever Kitchens van arrives outside the flat. Deirdre comes over for a conversation with Joe and tells him she's been called to a meeting with her boss and she reckons she's going to get the sack. I don't wonder. She's never there! As Joe unloads the trestles, David spots him and asks if he needs a hand. Joe refuses but David picks up some of the trestles anyway.
Jesse's off on a job, leaving Bill and Pam in the yard. Pam thinks Jesse's taking advantage of Bill's generosity and getting free storage. She's going to put her thinking cap on.
As Joe and David lug the stuff into the flat, a trestle bumps the bracelet into what looks like a gap between the carpet and the skirting board. This is so quick that I missed it the first time I saw this episode. David's not impressed by the flat and helps himself to a wander around. He reckons they've stepped on to a rotten rung on the property ladder. "Well, you'd know about rotten," Joe tells him, kicking him out.
Molly's making sandwiches for Tyrone and asks what he wants. When he tells her, she is very very sarcastic about his choices and their unhealthiness. Then why ask? She won't tell Tyrone what's up. "Here we go!" mutters Jack, leaving the room to answer the door while the two young ones bicker about Tyrone's weight and Molly's lack of training for the run. Jack returns with Connie, and has to stop Tyrone having a go at her, too.
Jason and Tina arrive back to find Joe busy stripping the walls. Tina looks for her bracelet but can't find it. Joe confesses that David set foot in the flat. Tina's appalled. "Well, there's no point looking any more," Tina announces. She rushes out, closely followed by Jason and Joe.
Tina hammers on Gail's front door and pushes past her. David's eating lunch and she grabs him, then tries to search for her bracelet. David tells her that if something's missing she should ask her dad, the drug addict. He insinuates that the bracelet was cheap and Jason is a loser. Tina and Becky realised this, he says, just before Jason grabs him by the throat and shoves him up against the wall (helped by all the viewers, in spirit!). they're dragged apart and as she and Joe get Jason out of the house, Tina tells David that he's the loser.
Tyrone, Jack and Connie come out of the house and Jack advises Tyrone to apologise to Molly. Jack's also upset that Tyrone thinks Connie's sponging off him and wants to put him right, but Connie says she'd rather Tyrone came to his own conclusion about her than have to be told. Their conversation is stopped in its tracks as Jesse comes past, dressed in his uniform, carrying a cactus and covered in great blobs and streaks of something yellow. When he's gone, Connie tells Jack how the money colours her relationships when people know. She doesn't want that influence.
At her door, Eileen greets "General Custard – literally." Jesse says the new jokes didn't go down well and asks if he can clean up.
In their garden, David denies to Gail that he took the bracelet. This time it's not down to him. Gail says she wants to believe him but he's still annoyed.
Pam tells Bill he needs Jason back fulltime. She has some fairly silly ideas how to make money but Bill says it'll take a lot more than that.
Jesse's going, which annoys Eileen who has the afternoon off. He says his mother will wonder where he is. Eileen tells him he should just tell his mother he's being seduced by that brassy blonde she can't stand.
David thinks Joe took the bracelet to make Tina hate him. "She hates you already. Why can't you get that through your thick head?" Joe says. David leaps up to run away, Gail shouting at them that "That's enough!" David slams the door as he leaves. Joe says David's the only person who could have taken the bracelet. Gail seems to be taking David's word over Joe's.
Deirdre tells Betty she's now officially redundant. Better pours her a red wine on the house. Deirdre thinks that at 54 she'll be lucky if she gets a job on the tills at Freshco.
In the flat, Tina tells Jason she really loved that bracelet. She says they need to chill out and they kiss.
Lloyd enters the Rovers and asks Liz for a few minutes in private. Liz tells him to talk to her there, take it or leave it. Betty tells him to pretend she's not there and she'll pretend she's not listening. Lloyd tells Liz he missed her and couldn't stop thinking about her. "It's like you're in my head all the time." He can't concentrate, can't eat. Liz tells him they just had a bit of fun and now it's over. Lloyd says it was more than that and she knows it. 'don't flatter yourself!" she sneers, turning away.
Steve's trying to get Becky to buck up. Becky feels she's been chased by Hooch since she was 15. "At least after this it'll be over," she says. Eddie comes on to the radio and says he's sure he's spotted Slug going into the Flying Horse.
David's hiding round the corner from the flat when Jason comes out. He's going for takeaways and has forgotten Tina's order, so he uses the entry-phone to ask her. As soon as he's gone, David sidles up to the entry-phone and presses the buzzer. When Tina asks what he's forgotten now, he mutters "Money," and she buzzes him up.
She's horrified when it's David who arrives, slamming the door behind him. "Get out!" she tells him. "I'm not going anywhere," he says, shoving her. "And neither are you!"
The end of episode one. More later. Margaret Carr
We're back in Tina's flat, where Jason is leering at his scared ex. She demands to know what he is doing there, before warning him that Jason will be back soon. He reminds her that Jason has only just left to get the takeaway and she is disgusted to realise he has been watching them. He tells her he is there to make her believe he didn't take the bracelet. She readily agrees with him before ordering him out. He doesn't go. He asks her why she thinks he would bother taking her bracelet and she tells him that it's because Jason bought it and he hates the fact that they are together. David says Jason isn't good enough for her but Tina retorts that he is much better than the ‘boy next door who became the hairdresser from hell" He wails that he loves her and told her things he never told anyone else but she replies, in a shaky tone, that he shouldn't have as most of it was scary. David looks genuinely hurt that she is scared of him, obviously not classing cornering her alone in a flat as intimidating. He says she doesn't know him at all and that she and Jason deserve each other before storming out.
Eddie waves Steve's cab outside a pub and he and Becky get out quickly. Eddie directs them into the pub where they pester the locals with posters of Slug. The barmaid confirms that Slug was in there, but he left out of the other exit. Eddie is apologetic, but Steve says that Slug can't be far.
Joe comes downstairs, holding a packed bag. He says he thinks they need some space and Gail agrees with him. Before he goes, he says he wouldn't want to get in the way of her and David. He says darkly that David gets away with everything and someone needs to take him in hand.
In the kebab shop, a drunk Amber is talking to Darryl and Graeme. She tells them she can't believe she got into the university she wanted and Graeme says he is celebrating too as his new business venture has taken off: Graeme Proctor: Garden Doctor. As Amber chooses this moment to head out to be sick (lovely) Darryl looks thoughtful as Graeme says he has never had an academic girlfriend as they study all day then bog off to London. He adds that Darryl could always go with her.
Jesse and Eileen are at the pub and Jesse's phone starts ringing. He is about to answer his mother when Eileen grabs the phone and closes it, saying she can wait.
Kevin has chosen yet another moment to come out of the shop and spot Tyrone and Molly together (I swear this happened when I did Monday's update too!). Tyrone is apologising for making jokes about Molly's race. He says firmly that she can do anything she puts her mind to. Molly says she doesn't deserve him. Tyrone spots Kevin and calls over that he and Molly need to set up some more training sessions. Kevin says he doesn't know when he can fit any in and Molly adds icily that she can train on her own.
Jason has returned home and, despite her efforts to persuade him otherwise, knows something is wrong with Tina. She eventually admits David has been round and, seeing his girlfriend so shaken, he storms out, swearing that he will kill him.
Amber returns to the shop looking much better in what has to be the quickest recovery from a drunken stupor I have ever seen. Darryl is saying to her she could get her own place and is about to suggest that it is with him when Graeme saunters in and tells them he has some wheels for his new business. They join him outside to find a giant tricycle to seat several outside. Amber climbs on and Graeme takes her round the Street in it.
Tina is trying to get a hold of Jason but his mobile goes straight to answer phone.
Jesse gets a text from his mum and Eileen is annoyed that she seems to be threatening trouble if he is not home for tea. Eileen argues that she knows they're going for pizza so Jesse ignores the text, although it clearly pains him!
Betty finds Liz crying in the back room of the Rovers and asks her if it's about Lloyd. She says it isn't that which bothers her and starts to describe some symptoms. Betty jumps to the conclusion that she's pregnant but Liz shakes her head and says she thinks it's the menopause.
Jack is telling Connie that it is time for him to move on and let Tyrone and Molly have their own living space. Connie asks him if he is contemplating moving into a home before telling him that she always thought of turning her place into a retirement home.
Liz is clearly devastated about the prospect of the menopause but Betty can't see the problem as she didn't want another kid. Liz argues that at least she had the choice but now she is getting the official stamp to say she is ‘past it" Betty shrugs and says it isn't the end of the world so long as you can wear plenty of layers and be prepared to take them back off to combat a hot flush. Turning back to the topic of Lloyd, Betty asks if she is sure she has made the right decision. Liz nods saying she'd rather end it now than worry down the line that he will run off with a young floozy.
Eileen asks Jesse why he doesn't move out of his mum's. He says living there saves him a fortune. Eileen suggests he moves in with her but he says awkwardly he isn't ready for that commitment yet. His phone rings and Eileen tells him to answer it and stand up to her. At first he does a very good job but Eileen's smile falters when the tables turn and he is apologising and promising to be back home right away. He says sorry to Eileen and leaves her looking fuming.
Joe is sat alone in his van, drinking a beer. David walks past and Joe watches him.
Pam is telling Bill that he should market himself as Bill the Builder ad take advantage of an existing franchise. This idea turns Bill's attention to alcohol and they realise they're out of beer. He volunteers Kevin to go out and get some and Kevin reluctantly agrees. As he heads out, I wonder who he could possibly bump in to? He says he was just on his way to get some cans and Molly replies that it's okay she's just finished work so he won't need to talk to her. He asks her not to be like that and she asks him what does he expect when he is willing to move away just to avoid her. Kevin sighs that it's what Sally wants too and he has to put her first as she is his wife. Molly pushes past him with an angry scowl.
Over the road, David is wandering home. As he approaches his house, a hooded figure jumps out at him and pulls him roughly into a dark corner, where he (or she!) administers a heavy beating.
Jason returns home to Tina and she demands to know where he has been. He is clearly agitated but tells Tina that he couldn't find David.
Over at the Platts", Gail hears a noise outside and opens the door to find David slumped on the ground, battered and bleeding. But we'll have to wait until next week to find out the culprit! Any theories?
So what have we learned this evening?
-Jason keeps his brains well hidden
-There's no room for mates in business
-Tyrone doesn't get sarcasm
-The following are good ideas to save money in business: Use wood chippings as firewood, sell any sawdust for pets and sell hair clippings to cushion traders.
-Tina has a fishy appetite...choosing a dish in her takeaway with king prawn and tuna (tell me it wasn't a pizza!)
-Jesse's mum is an expert at text swearing- when she types ‘B" the predictive text automatically comes up with an unsavoury word.
-According to Betty, you can combat the menopause with the following: Extra calcium, extra layers and bleach for your top lip.
-Jason couldn't find David, despite the fact he was wandering around in a fluorescent green T-Shirt.
Dubious Awards of the Evening
Most inventive new recipe: "I could sprinkle coke on Betty's Hotpot" Becky
Most unbelievable claim: "I never said ‘owt" Liz
Most likely recipe for disaster: "I think it's time I put me thinking cap on" Auntie Pam
Most accurate self analysis: "As soon as something goes wrong, it's usually me innit!?" David
Most shared view: "It's getting on me nerves is all this" Betty about Becky's situation
Most honest eavesdropper: "I'll try and pretend I'm not listening" Betty
Biggest dig at someone's fake tan: "You might come across as dead bright" David to Tina
Most likely advertiser for HomeBase: "I've always thought of turning my house into a home" Connie
No Corrie next Friday so until next time!
Written by Daran Little Directed by Durno Johnston
Gail takes photos of David's bruises, on his face and his skinny body, as evidence for the police. David doesn't think it was a random attack. Gail reveals that Joe didn't come home last night after their argument about Tina's lost bracelet, the one she thinks David stole which, for once, he didn't. Gail admits she did have a fleeting though that Joe was behind the assault but is certain now he didn't. Audrey lays out the line of the night, sarcastically stating that nobody Gail was involved with would possibly try to hurt one of her children! (Ha!) David isn't so sure, since the person that did the damage put something over their head to hide their face but Gail defends Joe.
In the Kabin, Norris actually takes an interest in Tina for a change, but really, he just wants to find out some gossip. He figures something is up because she's been very quiet and offers a sympathetic shoulder. He thinks she and Jason have had a row. Tiny shouts at him for prying in lieu of having his own life and strops off into the back as Ramsay comes into the shop. Norris moans about the truth of the statement about his life but when he suffers a sudden paper cut, Tina comes out to help, sending him back to the kettle while she finishes sorting the magazines.
Betty, Rita and Emily are having tea and chatting about the fete. It's a lovely little scene, really, between three old friends. When Emily goes to make another pot of tea, Rita and Betty discuss their friend's crushed hopes over the soon to be departed Ramsay.
In the salon, Eileen is having her hair done. She's discussing Jesse, not sure if she should jump into another full time relationship or not, especially with someone that's so attached to his mother. Jesse had turned down her invitation to live with her and it's kind of knocked her back a bit. She tells Audrey she wasn't looking for a ring, makes it sound like she's doing a friend a favour. Audrey calls her on it, of course she wants a commitment, it's only natural. Eileen feels like maybe she's not worth it but Audrey reassures her. It's Jesse's loss.
Ramsay has arrived at the tea party though two of the three are out of the room. Rita takes advantage of having Ramsay on his own to put a flea in his hear about "one person" being very *very* sorry he's leaving. She doesn't use Emily's name so I think he thinks she means Norris. He seems very interested when she remarks about the Victoria Street flats still being available.
Joe returns home. David turns around to show Joe the bruises and then leaps up and accuses him of doing it. Gail jumps between them as Joe realizes she thinks he might be responsible (which is definitely the impression she's now giving as opposed to earlier). He defends himself. He only wanted some space and even though he said David needed taking in hand, he didn't mean he was going to do it. She isn't so sure, he's done a lot of things she never thought he would but he looks her right in the eye and swears it wasn't him, on Tina's life and she believes him. Of course, David storms off in a hissy fit.
Tina is sorting out the newspaper headline board when David comes out of the house. David tells her that Joe did it because he hates me...moan, whinge. Tina doesn't think it was her father and asks what time it happened. David clocks right away, she told Jason he came to her place and scared her and now he's positive it was Jason that beat him. Even Tina doesn't seem so positive it wasn't at this point.
Up in the flat, Jason is sanding walls when Tina comes in and accuses him of hitting David. Jason admits he went looking for him but never found him but good for whoever did it. (All she needs to do is look at his hands, they'd be bruised, too, if he'd done that much damage, wouldn't they? and David's blood would have been on the sleeves of his clothes)
Back in the salon, David has told Audrey his latest theory. She's skeptical. David whinges, "Jason hates me, everyone does and it wasn't my fault" and if Joe didn't do it, it must have been Jason! It was an unprovoked attack, after all. He asks Audrey to take him to the police station to make a complaint.
Meanwhile Jason and Tina are fighting over her accusations. Jason is hurt that she doesn't trust him or now him well enough to know he would never assault David. She needs to start acting like she loves him the way she says he does. He wants them to work out but if that's her attitude, it might not.
In the pub, Ramsay finds Emily and Rita having a drink. He looks like the cat that's got the canary, very pleased with himself and admits he's been viewing a flat. He tells them about it. He's very keen and is buying the drinks in celebration. He goes to the bar where Betty is knitting. Emily gushes to Rita who teases her about a possible wedding. Ramsay orders drinks and one for Betty. Eileen arrives to find Jesse looking morosely into his pint.
Joe comes downstairs and they try to clear the air after their argument. She tells them they are at a cross roads and they need to figure out where this is going. She doesn't want to finish in spite of the troubles. She warns him that they have to be prepared to build something stronger or they have nothing.
Betty gets tangled in her knitting and scowls at it. Ramsay says he's going to put in an offer on the flat but says he wants to be the one to break the news to Norris who comes in just then. They all clam up and he suspects they're up to something. Jesse and Eileen discuss things. He says his mother has thrown him out. He says he panicked at the idea of moving in with her and felt bad he couldn't be the one to offer her the invitation. He says he wants to be with her and he fancies her rotten. He agrees to move in and kisses her.
Back to Gail and Joe. She's telling him that she worries about him and that he's changed a lot from the man she met. He admits he's succumbing to the pressures but he really doesn't want to lose her and he loves her. She promises to stick by him as long as they act like a team.
Jason is at home moaning. He tells his mother that Tina thinks he would jump someone but doesn't actually say what did happen and why she thinks that. Jesse arrives and he's carrying a large something under a gray cover. Turns out to be a bird cage with a large parrot called John inside. She's delighted at first but the bird starts howling and Jesse is dismayed that the bird has gone into "attack stance". They are soon interrupted by the police arriving at the door, observed by Gail and Joe from across the road. They're here for Jason. Tina runs across, Eileen is shouting and Gail realizes they're arresting him for beating up David. Naturally the old tempers rise up between the two women and everyone is hollering and insulting each other with a marvelous line from Eileen "David hasn't been innocent from the day he hacked his way out of your womb!" Jason assures his mother he didn't do it and David watches the arrest smugly from across the street. Did Jason do it? we'll get some answers next half.
A police car takes Jason away. Eileen is incensed and rants in the street at Gail about the things David has done. She shouts, "Let me tell you something about my sons, shall I? They would never push me down the stairs and they don't go around battering some chav- even them that deserves it!" Gail reminds Eileen about Jason having let fly at David only the other day. Eileen wishes Jason had given David a pasting then. Gail seems to be more put out by the fact that Eileen called her son a chav. Tina has a go at David and tells the family about how David came into her home and threatened her which is why Jason was so angry with David. Tina threatens David with some moves from her martial arts class she gave up some years ago. David mocks her but points out to everyone that Tina is the one doing the threatening and he is the one who is black and blue. Gail gets exasperated and tries to take David home while David and Tina throw accusations at each other. It all boils over to Gail and Eileen screaming at each other, a bit of half-hearted pushing, Sarah (remember her?) being called a slut and Tina storming off inside as the squabbling masses disperse.
Tina goes inside to rant and rave some more while Jesse looks bemused. The parrot squawks as Eileen loses her mind and screams at it to "shut up shut up shut up shut up!"
At the Platts' Place, Gail & Audrey question David about threatening Tina. Gail reminds David about times in the past when he accused an innocent Jason. David wonders if his family think he has beaten himself up while Audrey tells her grandson that there's not much she would put past him. David is infuriated and shouts, "That's what I love about my family; how someone can throw a coat over my head and beat me to a pulp and I'm the villain!" Errr..... yep. He makes a snide remark about Joe before going off.
Ramsay and Emily are chatting Australian tennis at Emily's kitchen table. Norris comes back from buying a pair of pyjamas and is annoyed to find out that he has missed the big kerfuffle in the street. Ramsay also mentions that he will be giving notice at his lodgings soon. Of course, Norris misunderstands him and thinks he has made arrangements to go back to Australia but in fact, Ramsay has different plans all together.
Claire goes into the butcher and moans to Graeme that she has nothing for the grand prize for the fund-raising raffle. Graeme offers some of his prize videos but Claire is not overwhelmed. Ashley comes from the freezer and lets Claire know that Roy has offered the tickets from the dodgy weekend to Paris won by Eddie Windass. Claire is delighted.
At Eileen's, Eileen and Tina are worrying about Jason while Jesse worries about John the parrot who has failed to warm to Eileen. In fact, Jesse has never seen Jon act so openly and consistently hostile to anyone before. Eileen argues that while Jason has been arrested and looks like he might go to prison, she couldn''t care less about John the parrot. Jesse is still concerned and asks Eileen if John can have his daily hour of flying around the room. Eileen tells Tina to open the windows. "Don't you dare," warns Jesse.
At Emily's, Emily steels herself for a conversation with Ramsay, who she is very fond of. She asks Ramsay if he would accompany her to place some flowers on her husband's grave. Ramsay would be happy to go with her.
In the butcher's, Graeme tells Ashley that he has received a text from Claire who is "waiting" for him at home. He can't understand why Ashley is so reluctant to go home to a "waiting" Claire until Ashley confesses that he hasn't had the vasectomy that he promised Claire he would have. Graeme is shocked and blurts out, "Hells bells! That'll kill the mood," before bringing the cleaver down hard and fast on a phallic-shaped piece of pork.
Joe returns home to some sniping from Audrey who thought he had fled from "behind enemy lines." Actually, Joe has been doing some shopping and has some good news- the bank has extended his overdraft and he has a job, part time in a hardware store. Gail is delighted and mentions that they should celebrate. Audrey is a bit more cynical and wonders if Joe had got a job in B&Q, would Gail be so celebratory as to bring out the biscuits?! Gail reminds Audrey that Joe is in court next week and nobody knows where he'll be. Joe wonders what Audrey wants from him, he tells her he's trying. "That is a polite word for what you are," says Audrey, clearly not impressed with her daughter's choice of partner.
At Eileen's, Jesse claims that his parrot John can pick a bad 'un. He tells Eileen that John never took to his ex-wife. He thinks that if John doesn't warm to Eileen, he will have to move on. Sean asks if John is named after the snooker player but Jesse tells Sean that John the Parrot pre-dates the snooker player and is named after his uncle. "Aww, what's his name?" asks Sean. Jesse looks incredulously and answers, "John." Jason comes home. Tina apologises immediately for doubting Jason. Jason tells the family that the police have nothing on him and they let him go home, "but don't hold your breath. When did that ever count for anything, eh?"
Claire is at the kitchen table, trying desperately to mend the heel on a high-heeled shoe and wearing sexy lingerie. Ashley comes home. With Graeme. Embarrassed, Claire covers herself up. Ashley successfully avoids making love to his wife again. Annoyed, Claire tells Ashley that he should donate his beloved boxing signed-by-a-famous-boxer gloves, a present from his late father, to the raffle and rushes upstairs to get dressed. Ashley tells Graeme that it's times like this he wishes he were single. Graeme tells him that being single has none of the perks, like having a girl.
At the cemetery, Ramsay is opening up to Emily about his life as an orphan in Australia. Emily is shocked by his story of woe. Ramsay elaborates further about how he met his mother and Norris for the first time. Emily is sad that shame should come between a mother and her son and brothers. Emily confesses that even though Ramsay has failed to win over Norris, he has won her completely.
Audrey and David are in the pub having a moan about Joe. Audrey despairs about Gail's choice in men. Jason and Tina come into the bar. David is shocked to see them. Tina and Jason leave quick smart as David threatens to create a scene. After they've gone, Audrey points out to David that his actions will get him in trouble. She thinks it's no wonder he got beaten up- he has plenty of enemies to pick from.
Ramsay and Emily are making their way out of the cemetery, still talking about Ramsay's terrible time as an orphan in Australia. (Funnily enough, the Australian government is currently putting some sort of apology together to those like Ramsay who were mistreated as child immigrants to their great nation.) Emily soaks up his sob story which soon turns to Norris and his mother again. They wonder when Norris will come around. Ramsay asks Emily if she still misses Ernest. Emily confesses that she still misses him ever day, even when others come along. She looks at Ramsay meaningfully.
Eileen and Sean are at home, talking about Jesse's hateful parrot which she compares to Gail Platt in a corner, chipping in and judging her. Eileen acknowledges that she has her work cut out with the two of them- Jesse & John.
Ramsay, Emily and Norris are around Emily's table, playing Scrabble. Norris seems to be warming to his brother now that he thinks Norris going back to Australia. Ramsay and Emily don't bother enlightening Norris yet.
David is outside and shocked to see his arch-enemy, Gary Windass, in the street. Gary is out of prison. They snipe back and forth at each other until David realises that it could have been Gary who beat him up. Gary tells David that it couldn't have been him since he only just got out of prison today but he mentions that while he was in prison, he made some pretty good mates, some of whom he'll stay in touch with. Gary tells David that if he'd known David had been beaten up he would have made him a get well card and gives him a menacing wink. David has some food for thought.....
Over in Gail's house, she's asking David if he can remember anything else about his attack. She remarks that yesterday he was convinced it had been Jason, but now isn't mentioning Jason at all. She tells him that they'll push him harder in court than she can and if he is going to accuse someone he needs to be certain. "Do you honestly believe that Jason did this?" she asks him. David shakes his head, so she tells him that's what he needs to tell the police.
Jason, meanwhile, is with Tina in their flat and is about to rip out the fireplace, it'll be good therapy, he can pretend it's David's face. She puts her arms around him and suggests that there are other therapies...but just then Joe walks in telling them he'll make a start on the kitchen. Then Joe holds out Tina's bracelet. "Look what turned up," he says, and tells them he found it wedged between the floor and the skirting. "So it wasn't..." she says. "David?" he says, "no it doesn't look like it."
Ramsay goes into the Kabin and asks Norris if he could pop by the café at lunchtime. Norris says he'll have a tongue sandwich waiting at home, but Ramsay says he wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, so in the end he reluctantly agrees, and goes off to sweep the street outside the shop. Rita wonders whether it might be better to wait a bit and soften him up before telling him about the flat, but Ramsay says he doesn't want him hearing it from anyone else.
Roy goes to see Claire and tells her that unfortunately when he checked the tickets for the raffle prize of a trip to Paris, he found they'd expired. "Expired?" cries Claire, "but it's our star prize, can't you talk to them and tell them it's for a good cause?" Roy tells her he's already asked, but the Cash and Carry would not be moved. She says that people bought tickets on the basis of that being the prize, but Roy tells her he's willing to donate a prize of equal value. However, she's not all that impressed when he produces an LNER whistle and cap, which he believes could fetch up to £500 at an auction of railway memorabilia.
Ramsay meets Norris outside and café and instead of taking him inside leads him off down the street, saying he has something to show him first.
Eddie has taken Gary into the café where Anna has been delighted to provide him with a cooked meal. Just then, Gail and David walk in, they take one look at Gary and turn to leave again. Anna quickly says that she can't stop them leaving, but they are neighbours and they need to clear the air. Gail stops and looks at her. "We can try," she says. David looks amazed but she repeats that they can try, and walks to a table.
Ramsay is showing Norris the flat in Victoria Court, the dishwasher, the washing machine, it's even got a waste disposal. Norris is not impressed and tells him that gadgetry does not make a home. "What's going on?" he asks. Then the penny drops. "I knew it! You're not going to Australia, you never were. You're living on my doorstep aren't you?" Ramsay mutters that isn't quite it. "Then what is it you are planning to do exactly?" Norris demands to know. Ramsay shows him another room. "This is the larger bedroom and I thought you might like this," he says, "you are my brother Norris and I want us to be together as long as I ...I want us to be a family at last!" Norris is furious. "Of all the arrogant, idiotic, presumptuous notions!" he cries, "I would no more make my bed in that room than jump off the balcony!" Ramsay says it was just an idea, he was talking to Rita…Norris wonders if he thought he would fly into paroxysms of fraternal feeling at the sight of the waste disposal. Ramsay says he thought they'd made progress, but Norris tells him he's confusing progress with politeness and nothing's changed. He spits that the place is soulless, it's brash and vulgar – no wonder it appealed! "You really don't know me at all," says Ramsay, sadly. "No," snaps Norris, "and never wanted to after what you did!"
We then see Eileen at home, alone. She's made a cuppa and sits down to watch a bit of tv. Then we see that the macaw is loose and climbing down the curtains. It makes it's way towards her and then grabs the remote control, squawking as it does so. Eileen nearly jumps out of her skin!
Back at Victoria Court, Ramsay tells Norris it wasn't his fault that their mother had a heart attack. "Because it was broken, she was broken," says Norris, "riddled with shame." Ramsay says that he never blamed her for giving him away, or for Australia. Norris asks why he didn't respect her wishes and go back where he came from. "I came from her!" cries Ramsay, "I had as much right to her affection as you." Norris accuses him of being jealous. "I just wanted my mother to..." begins Ramsay. "What? Invite you in for tea? Introduce you to her friends? This is my illegitimate son, Ramsay, a cinema organist took advantage of me in 1934?" Ramsay says he just wanted acknowledgement and begs Norris not to turn his back on him as well. "We're all we've got, you and I," he says. Norris says he doesn't have a brother and never has had. His family is dead, long dead! He marches out of the flat.
He marches into the Rovers and find Rita. "You and jolly swagman have a good laugh dreaming that one up, did you?" he asks. Rita realises Ramsay's told him about the flat. Norris says it was eyewash, his talk of going to Australia. Emily says that she thinks it's an excellent idea. Norris says she would, there would be no point in having a fancy man on the other side of the world, it's been like living with a geriatric Holly Golightly! Ramsay has followed him in and is infuriated he says he can think what he likes of him, but demands that Norris apologise to the people who only have his best interests at heart. Norris just says that he will have to find alternative living arrangements, and storms out.
Out in the street, Jason takes a call from the police saying that they won't be taking the matter any further. Tina is delighted and kisses him, and they're watched from a distance by David. Gary comes up behind him and comments that it must break his heart. "Don't start," says David. Gary says he won't, they're mates now, after all. He tells David he's not putting himself, or his mother through that again and if he's got any sense he won't rattle his cage in future. David mutters that he's got better things to do, and walks off.
Emily goes home and Norris apologises for his outburst. Just then there's a knock on the door ... it's Ramsay and he tells Norris he needs to hear what he has to say. He then tells them both that he's leaving for Australia this evening. Emily is really upset and pleads with Norris, but he remains icy and says it's Ramsay's decision. Ramsay then pulls his camera out and asks if Norris would be in a family portrait with him. Reluctantly Norris agrees and Emily takes the picture.
Claire has been phoning round trying to get a raffle prize, without success. Ashley comes in and sees her downhearted so goes and gets his boxing gloves signed by Ricky Hatton and tells her that putting a smile on her face is more important to her than any boxing gloves. Claire says that with all that, and him having the snip for her, if there was a raffle for husbands he be top prize. Ashley looks very uncomfortable!
Ramsay is leaving, his taxi is waiting. Rita tells him he'll be much missed, he's been like a breath of fresh air. Ramsay asks her to look after Norris for him and he thanks her for her kindness. Emily tearfully tells him she's sorry about the way things have turned out and is sure he must regret ever coming over. He tells her he wanted to make sense of things and found there is none, that was a discovery in itself. He also found kinship too, although not where he expected it. She gives him a St. Christopher saying it's to help him on his journey. He says he'll treasure it, and her friendship. He gives her a hug and kisses her cheek, and then Norris comes out and says, "Bye then." Ramsay holds out his hand and Norris reluctantly shakes it. "Farewell, I meant well little brother, I always meant well," says Ramsay. Then Eddie asks if he's ready and Ramsay says it's time he was off. Rita asks if he'll let them know when he arrives and he assures them that he will. "Right, I'll put the kettle on," blusters Norris as the taxi drives away. Rita glares at him and comforts a tearful Emily with an arm around her shoulders.
Corrie did not air tonight.
The first of two really excellent episodes, brought to you from the pen of Damon Rochefort and the director's baton of Duncan Foster. We jump from Wednesday to Monday since we had no show on Friday. Sorry for the lateness of this report!
By 'eck we've not seen the Street decorated up for a block party since the Millennium and don't it look festive! There are banners and balloons, booths and people starting to set up. The street is closed off to traffic (I hope they've got a permit!). Claire is running around with a clip board and pen in hand, a bluetooth headset on for any urgent calls. She's checking up that everything is ready and everyone is doing what they're supposed to. Graeme, wearing a very fetching "Hot Stuff" apron is in charge of the barbeque. That may be a mistake!
In Number 3, Norris is measuring out sherbet lemons in one ounce bags precisely, using a scale for, er, good measure. The candy is being donated and he's not giving any more than he has to. This irks Emily, beating him with the charity baton. Emily and Rita discuss a recipe that Ramsay has given her which elicits a sarky remark from you-know-who who reckons he'll probably never hear from "that man" again. Phrase of Doom (POD), the first.
Down the row, Joshua is wearing his underpants on the outside of his clothes. Don't worry, it's ok, he's dressed as Batman, complete with cape and mask and Ashley's taking his photo. Mummy comes in and admires him. He runs out and she wiffles about the raffle prizes, calling Ashley "Husband of the Year" for his donations. This makes the HOTY a bit uncomfortable, especially when she comments "not many men would go through that operation with so little fuss" (she doesn't know the half!). Luckily for him, she's on a time clock but Ashley thinks she should just relax as she's got lots of help. Well, we know Claire and there's no relaxing for her. It's all got to be perfect!
Claire's right hand woman is, at that moment, having a leisurely cup of tea with Sophie and is a bit skeptical of being Claire's "floater" (aka dogsbody). Kevin is getting ready for the race and Sophie is going for support. Rosie is out with Luke to a posh horse race so she's not around and Sally's a bit jealous, I think.
Over at Number 9, Tyrone has taken a call to go out with the breakdown truck. He apologizes to Molly and says he'll try to get back to meet up with her at the finish line. She doesn't seem all that bothered. He goes out the door just as Kevin and Sophie arrive to pick up Molly. Inside, Molly takes a deep breath while Kevin and Sophie laugh at Claire playing tug-o-war with a big bag of charcoal with Graeme. Molly comes out and they take off.
In Number 1, Blanche is reading horoscopes out of the newspaper. Simon, a little super hero in red, sneaks up and climbs up on the table to show off his uniform. Blanche admires him but has never heard of Robin. Blanche isn't keen on going to the street party and delivers the line of the night "In my day, when something bad 'appened, you stayed home, got drunk, and bit on a shoe!" Deirdre admonishes her for having no community spirit. She and Simon leave but Blanche looks thoughtful, as if she's had an idea.
Emily and Rita have had all their bits and bobs sorted and organized. Turns out, one of their volunteers for the home baking table has hurt herself. Now what are they going to do? Rita orders Norris to help but he's got a long list of chores to do. They wouldn't want that old misery guts around anyway, would they?
Outside, the children are running around and the crowds are thickening. Music floats over the air and Claire is hawking raffle tickets. Sean is setting up the beer table and complaining that he's giving up his bank holiday. Sally, toting a big ice cream cone, asks after Steve. Seems he and Becky have taken Amy out for the day (poor kid, doesn't seem fair does it!) Sally reckons they just don't want people pointing at them. Sean stoutly defends Becky. She's not like that anymore. No, really. And he's sick of people thinking the pub is a crack house. Just then, Pam walks up and asks for coke. Sean sputters and waves his arms around while Sally quietly asks Pam "normal, or diet?" Ah. Right.
Down the street, there's an Underworld booth set up, with seconds on the rack to be sold. Janice and Kelly are sulkily sitting there complaining about being volunteered as Green Day's song populate the soundtrack now. (you know the one, "Time of your life"). Claire comes by to thank the ladies for their time and makes a point of mentioning that next year, Janice could be on the first aid team as a nurse. (POD!) DVT is such a good cause, you know. Kelly reckons she had a case of that when she came back off holiday once. But when told what it actually stands for, mutters she got that mixed up with something else and I don't really want to know what!
Two police officers are coming down the pavement. Batman and Robin assure them that the crime fighting is in their capable hands and rush off. Deirdre is embarrassed and apologizes. She sends the boys off to Nanna Blanche with a plate of goodies. The police stop at Number 3 and knock on the door. Inside, Norris is scrubbing the skirting boards. He comes to the door and is a bit perplexed to see the constables, one of whom must be the world's oldest DC. He lets them in just before the break. Hmmm...
After the break, Kevin is limbering up at the starting point of the race. He joins Sophie and Molly and Sophie takes her phone to shoot a photo of them both. They stand awkwardly together, even more so when Sophie urges Kev to put his arm around Molly. Sophie tells them to look excited (Oh, Sophie!!!) and smile! *click* They join the crowd at the starting line and set off when the starting pistol fires.
There's a clown teetering down the cobbles on stilts and a little voice is hollering Get your fortune told!! The police emerge from Number 3, leaving Norris looking a bit stunned. Graeme leaves Roy in charge for a few minutes while he goes for a break (where's Hayley? With her love of charities, she should be right in the thick of it). Ryan and his mates approach the barbeque and Ryan asks for a veggie burger. Sorry, they don't have any. He shrugs and says he'll have a regular one then, much to Roy's surprise but he isn't a vegetarian, just fancied one. Claire arrives to flog the raffle ticket. The teens are distinctly unimpressed by the prizes on offer, the boxing gloves, the railway hat and whistle and passes to the Cumberland Pencil museum (there really is one, you know, it's in Keswick in the Lake District and I do plan to get there someday!) The pencil museum is scorned but Claire says it's more interesting than it sounds. I don't think she's going to sell any raffle tickets to these three.
We find out what the fortune telling is all about. There's a sign on Number 1, Gypsy Rose Hunt, Fortunes Read. 3 quid a go. Eh??? Deirdre goes in and sees scarves hung up in the doorway and Blanche sitting at the dining room table. She's got her sunglasses on, a turban round her head, loads of strings of sparkly beads around her neck, a colourful shawl on and big h oop earrings. There's more scarves in evidence to make it look exotic. Simon has one twisted into a headband and he's got a suit vest on with no shirt on under it. He's the man hawking up the business. Kelly is sitting by the "crystal ball" which looks like a foil wrapped grapefruit, having her future told. Oh yes, there's lots of men in her future, especially if she keeps dressing like a tart! Kelly goes off, insulted. Blanche points out that she wants the money up front for this very reason. Next through the door is Graeme! Deirdre is exasperated. Blanche states that folk used to say that her mother were a witch. Deirdre rolls her eyes and agrees, she's been told that too! They bicker a bit more (Yes, Blanche is giving *some* of the three pound to the charity!) Sadly, we don't get to hear Graeme's fortune.
Norris is sitting at the table, staring off into space. You can hear music from outside and the clock ticking in back of him but he doesn't seem aware of any of it.
In the pub, Claire is dealing with one crisis after another. Emily needs someone to help take some shelves to a woman's car. Ashley volunteers, putting a smile on Claire's face. The lads come in for money for pop which is cheerfully handed over. Emily and Rita talk about Ramsay, how he'd love the Street party. Emily thinks she probably should have told Ramsay how she felt. She reckons he brought something to her life she thought she'd never feel again and thanks to Norris, he's gone (there's another POD!) and Rita comforts her. Rita decides to go for a quick break.
Outside, it looks like the rain is starting, a bit. Pam is looking through the knickers and isn't getting a lot of help from the staff. Janice and Kelly, who would clearly rather be somewhere else, takes Kelly's glass and heads over to the pub for another round. Meanwhile, Rita is banging on the door and hollering for Norris. He is ignoring her, or just isn't hearing her.
At the barbeque, Roy needs to go for more supplies and there isn't a floater in sight. Claire frantically tries to call Sally whose phone isn't on so she leaves an urgent message about the carnage in the street!!! (the unicycle is bent, what a disaster!) All she had to do was turn around, Sally was lounging in front of the pub with Sean and Pam. They are laying back being very lazy and saying how much hard work it all is. But it's for the charity after all. When Janice comes up for another drink, she's told to help herself.
Ashley has returned from the shelving delivery, Claire gives him a kiss on her way past. He and Graeme commiserate about him not telling Claire about the non-operation. No time like the present, Graeme thinks (now? Yes, there is a better time than right now actually!). Claire is counting change. Josh and Simon come up to her. Josh has a sore mouth but she ushers him on. Ashley approaches for that little talk but she's far too busy. Janice sees the boys, both back in their hero costumes but they're looking a bit down. Josh complains about his mouth so Janice puts her drinks down, removes his mash and takes a look. Simon says there was a bee or a wasp in Josh's pop cup. Just then Joshua collapses against Janice, knocking her over. She taps his face trying to revive him.
Rita comes in the back door. Norris is still sitting there, non-communicative. Rita starts to holler at him for ignoring her. She wants to know if Ramsay has phoned. N..n..no. Rita starts to tear a strip off Norris for not encouraging Ramsay to stay for Emily's sake. Norris interrupts, Rita, he's dead! he said the police were around and said he'd died on the plane. Rita sinks to a chair, very sorry.
That's the end of this episode, stay tuned for the next half to find out what's happened to Josh and how Emily's taken the news.
Oh no! The street is all a-panic as Janice calls for an ambulance for young Josh. Janice thinks he's gone into anaphylactic shock as an allergic reaction to a bee-sting. Janice goes into heroic first-aid mode and administers her new skills deftly as Ashley and Graeme scream for the gathering crowd to, "Get back, please!" Claire is distraught. She cries at Janice, "Is he going to be OK? Janice?!?"
Rita and Norris are talking about Ramsay who apparently arrived dead in Australia. Norris appears quite numb. When Rita asks him what she can do for him, Norris asks her if she will tell Emily. "Of course," she says. "Poor Emily."
Out on the street, the ambulance has arrived. The paramedic praises Janice for her outstanding work. Kelly hates to think what would have happened if Janice had not known what to do today and calls her a hero. Josh is taken away to hospital with Ashley and Claire accompanying him in the ambulance. Janice and Kelly go for a pint to calm down.
Jack is home. Tyrone, who has been watching the palaver in the street, races in and tells Jack about the hoo-hah going on. He realises he is going to be late for Molly's race and heads upstairs for a shower as Jack calls after him that the race will be finished long before they manage to get there.
Rita heads into the Rovers to find her pal, Emily. Solemn-faced, she approaches a cheery Emily and tells her, "Emily love, I have some awful news for you." When Rita tells Emily that Ramsay has died, it takes a moment for it to sink in. Rita takes her home.
In the street, Pam has an exchange with awful old Uncle Umed about the Cardamom in his curry. Teresa joins them and criticises his curry, stating it's too greasy. Teresa reckons her recipe would knock Uncle Umed's "into a cocked hat."
Tyrone reluctantly agrees that he won't be able to make it to Molly's race and that Molly will be upset about it. Jack convinces him to stick around and enjoy what's left of the gala/fete thing. He suggests they start at the beer stall.
At Emily's, Emily is very upset. Rita pours them some tea. Emily asks Norris, who is cleaning the skirting board, if he is all right. "Me? Of course," Norris answers and then goes on, "But I hardly knew the man, did I?" He shocks Rita and Emily with this and then goes on to tell Emily how sorry he is that she has lost her friend. When Emily reminds Norris that Ramsay was his brother, Norris is still unmoved and makes a quip about how the airline would have wanted Ramsay's death on board one of their aircraft kept quiet. Emily asks Norris if the Police told him how Ramsay died. It seems Norris has no interest in this and coldly directs Emily to a piece of paper the police left him if she wants to know more information. Emily is disgusted and tells Norris, "Sometimes I feel I barely even know you!"
Josh is being raced into A&E at the hospital while Claire flagellates herself for being so wrapped up in selling raffle tickets to have noticed her son being stung by a killer bee. For crying out loud.
Kevin finishes his race to the utter delight of his younger daughter who screams and jumps all over him until she discovers that her dad is all sweaty. Kevin tells Rosie that he is happy to let her go home and be the one to cheer Molly over the line. Once Rosie has left, Molly finishes the race. She seems disappointed to find that Tyrone has not been able to make it to see her race. Kevin and Molly take the opportunity while they are alone to go for a "proper drink". "Are you sure?" Molly asks. Kevin is very sure.
In the hospital, Joshua has come round and the doctor has reassured his parents that he is going to be fine. Claire does that awful thing where she blames herself, again, for not being there for her son. Ashley and Claire agree that they owe Janice their son's life-
Emily is sad to have discovered that it was a brain tumour which killed Ramsay and that he knew all along that he was dying. Norris assumed it was a heart attack. Emily hopes that Norris is ashamed "for spurning the outstretched hand of a dying brother." Norris wonders out loud if the brain tumour was one of the reason Ramsay made such a pig's ear of his paper round. Emily despairs and wonders how Norris can be so crass. She doesn't imagine that it would have made a difference if Norris had known Ramsay was dying. Emily is angry with Norris and his obtuse reactions to his brother's death. She tells Norris how Ramsay only wanted to meet his mother and he didn't kill Norris's mother at all. She tells him how he laid flowers on their mother's grave and talked to her, "which is more than you ever do, you silly, blinkered, selfish little man." Norris tells Rita he needs some air and leaves quietly.
At the fete/gala/street party thing, Rosie, Sian and Ben head for a curry. Before they can order one of Uncle Umed's, Teresa brings over a giant vat of her own and suggests the teens have a try of both before they decide which curry they would like to buy.
Tyrone is concerned that Molly is not answering texts. He knows he should have gone to see her run and feels terrible about being sat there, drinking ale.
Meanwhile, Molly and Kevin are in a hotel bed together, drinking a bottle of wine together. Kevin says they are celebrating having run a half marathon. Molly wonders if that is what they are really celebrating. Kevin apologises for pushing Molly away and tells her he couldn't stay away from her. They kiss and my stomach turns slightly.
At Emily's, Rita is concerned for both Norris who has gone missing and Emily who is not being her self. "You mean Christian Emily?" asks the Christian Emily in question and goes on, "Turn the other cheek Emily? I suppose not. I was just thinking of that dear, sweet, desperate man. The courage he must have had to face up to his death. As well as having the courage to face up to Norris and have it thrown in his face, to be so casually rejected." Rita reminds her that while Norris rejected him, at least Emily didn't and she tells Emily that she brought great joy to Ramsay's last few months. Emily thanks Rita for reminding her that she and Ramsay found each other. Emily asks if she can be alone now to remember Ramsay quietly. Rita leaves her friend in peace. Emily is terribly upset and I need a tissue because I have something in my eye.
At the curry stall, it seems that the Teens have given Teresa the thumbs up- they like her curry best. Of course, it has blown up in Teresa and Umed's faces a little since they have tried so much of it, they're all full now and don't need too buy a portion. "I think we've been had," Uncle Umed surmises. The Teens laugh as they head off.
Ashley finds Janice at the street party and tells her that Josh will be fine, thanks to her. He gives her a great big hug. Janice tries to shrug off the praise but Kelly and Ashley are adamant that she is the hero of the day. As she is. After Ashley leaves, Kelly asks her how she feels, having saved someone's life. Janice tells her she was terrified and wonders how she would have coped if Josh had died as she was trying to help.
Emily listens to a cassette Ramsay has given her of Australian folk songs. She weeps to the strains of "Waltzing Matilda" as the street packs up outside, unaware of Emily breaking her heart inside. :-(
Norris has gone to his mother's grave. He finds a bunch of flowers by her headstone. He knows they are from his late brother. He lays the two bunches beside each other before he stands and reflects on his own loss, sadly.