Not a very exciting week this week folks. The major characters
(Rita, Mavis, Emily, Percy, Ken) seem to have taken a back seat
to let the newer characters become established, but I miss them,
and where is Fred Eliot?, I say, where is Fred Eliot? Alec knew
it would be impossible to keep a secret on the street, and of
course now that they're back from their weekend in the lakes,
everyone knows that Alec and Joyce have been away together. Joyce
is stunned to find out that the trip wasn't the freebie she had
assumed it was and now feels rightly guilty for spending Alec's
money on international phone calls and housekeeping services in
the hotel. She offers to pay towards the cost of their weekend
but Alec won't let her, so when they arrive back in the Street,
she cooks him dinner and they relax with a bottle of wine. Joyce
is quite happy to stay a while longer and finish the bottle but
Alec is more intent on getting her out of his flat before she
gets too drunk, so perhaps these two won't get together after
all? (Alec doesn't seem as keen on Joyce as I thought he was).
Now that Becky and Claire have moved in with Des, he's become
"concerned" that things are going too quickly for him
and stays on in the Rovers to have a pint with Martin rather than
go back home to spend time with "the girls". Claire's
mother in law pops round to put in her tuppenceworth (don't they
all?) and tells Claire she's not happy about her living with Des
but goes away subdued after Claire tells her she's staying put.
Claire and Becky make themselves feel at home in Des' house and
put up a few posters, sort out the videos and when Claire finds
an erm... pot plant she tells Des she wants to throw it out. Mavis
pops round on a flimsy excuse about a magazine that Des has ordered
from the Kabin, when what she really wants to do is to have a
good look at Claire and find out all about Des' new lodger. Mavis
goes away thinking Claire is a really nice person after Claire
gives Mavis the plant, although Mavis is somewhat confused as
to what it could be and can't find it in any of her houseplant
books. Later in the Rovers, Derek and Mavis are discussing Claire's
present to them and Derek quips "It's a nice plant Mavis,
it even has a slight fragrance to it, have you noticed?"
Ho-hum. Jamie tells Becky about Des' murky past including his
fling with Liz McDonald and Des has some explaining to do when
Becky confronts Des with this news in front of Claire. Liz finds
out from her solicitor that the divorce is going to cost approx.
£500 , money she hasn't got. She is determined to sue Jim
to make him pay the solicitor's fees.
Steven from Canada is back on the street and Alma's feathers are
ruffled when she admits to Gail that she still fancies Steven
and was upset that no one thought to tell her he was back in town.
He wants to do some more business with Baldwin and asks Mike if
his production run can be stepped up to cope with more demand.
No problem for Mike, who I'm sure will get Sally to crack the
whip at the girls on the factory floor on his behalf so they end
up hating Sally instead of him. Sally has her work cut out this
week at the factory with Trisha who is still mooching over her
sewing machine, dreaming of a cosy cottage with Terry waiting
for her at the rose coloured door in his apron and little else.
This was a great week for the Street and included some classic
scenes - yes, a fight in the Street! This time it was between
Trisha and Gail. The kids are back to school and Nicky Platt is
filling young Jamie's head with rubbish about what he got up to
in London, so Jamie tells his mum that he wants to run off to
London too and have as good a time as Nicky obviously had. When
Trisha finds out, she is straight round to see Gail and gives
her a going over, tells her to keep a tighter rein on her son
and they both have a good slanging match with Gail shouting at
everyone in sight "Leave me alone, I'm sick of you all!"
and trying to look threatening with a rolled up magazine in her
hand. Martin comes out and calms the situation down, drags Trish
and Jamie indoors and demands that Jamie tells Gail what Nick
has been up to in London, because Nick has not mentioned what
he did there, and Gail is still certain he became a drugged out
rent boy overnight. When the truth eventually comes out, Nicky
admits he was in London only a few hours and then stayed in a
bed and breakfast in Torquay. "I wish I'd come on holiday
with you instead" he says. Don't we all.
Have you ever seen a baby wearing a thick gold necklace, a stained green vest and a pair of ear-rings bought from the catalogue? No? Well, you just might! In the way that we women have, Judy Mallet has changed her mind about having a baby. On the morning, she didn't feel ready to be a mother. In the afternoon, she did. After confiding in her mother that she thought Gary may have been fooling around with Samantha as a reaction to Judy not wanting a baby, she has done a complete baby u-turn and has agreed to bring baby Mallett into the world (heaven help us). While Gary wants to get in as much practice as possible, Judy has other things on her mind such as decorating the spare room as a nursery. Jim and Bill aren't exactly cementing their friendship or building a foundation for their future (sorry about these building puns - my husband's a builder so I have plenty more where these came from!). While Bill takes pride in his son for buying the garage, Jim can only moan about his son in prison and gets depressed that Liz is trying to take every last penny from him (money which he had promised Bill he would invest in the business, but he hasn't). Bill doesn't have much sympathy with Jim's moaning, and tells him that if he worked as well as he complained then everything would be all right. Norris invites Alf out to lunch, where he has a proposition for him. In that funny little way that Norris has, he gives Alf the cryptic message "Your whole life has been a preparation for this Alf - Weatherfield expects!". It turns out that Alf could be voted as "Mr. Millennium", an icon for the next century (at least round Weatherfield way). It could just also be Fred Elliot, so we'll have to see who wins this heavyweight competition.
And in the featherweight corner, there's more square dancing from Jack and Derek, both wanting to fill the empty cubic space in the square dealers. Derek's being firm with Norris, saying that he'll tell Angela what REALLY happened to her golf clubs if Norris doesn't help Derek's cause and Jack is offering free drinks to Fred Elliot.
Watch out Canadians, the Platts are coming your way! Steven offers Gail and Martin the chance of a family holiday in Canada on a special flight deal he has with his frequent flyer air-miles. At first Gail shouts at everyone, especially Nick, and tells them they can't go. But, realising that Martin could have a point, that they do need a holiday with Nick to bring them together as a family again, they accept Steven's offer. In a last minute rush, they all pile into a taxi and after Gail runs back in the house to make sure she's unplugged her curling tongs, off they go. Guess who Canadian Steven's been on a date with? Not Alma... but our very own Deirdre, bless her. Of course, Alma's terribly jealous and she's not doing a very good job of hiding the fact.
Claire's mother in law "pops round" again, bringing with her a photo of her dead son, which Becky delights in putting on top of the TV in the living room, much to Claire's dismay. Tony and Kev are celebrating being in business a week together, and not so much as an angry word between them. Tony says his dad told him it was good business practise to end each working day with a handshake between partners, and they resolve to do this every day. (I just hope they wash them first).
Sally has to tell Trisha off for being late again in the factory, and of course Trisha tells the rest of the girls that Sally is a slave driver and they should have a union meeting and kick Sally out of the coffee and tea club. Word gets back to Baldwin, of course, but he takes Sally's side in this dispute. Later, Trisha goes steaming in to see Sally at home and gives her a piece of her mind, Sally is very apologetic but it cuts no ice with Trisha. Mavis and Derek's house is to be included on a tour by the Historical Society, but the dippy twosome can't think why. Mavis finds an old book which mentions that the house was built on a spot made infamous for murders by the "Master butcher of Weatherfield" and we're not talking about Fred Elliot here. However, Fred Elliot thinks different - he says that their house is on the site of an old field where farmers would take their weathers (weather-field) which apparently are male sheep, to have them castrated. Derek's face goes white at this point.
It looks like Maxine may get her "proper" singing debut this coming Friday when she stars alongside that incomparable pair, Shadow and Son and a drag queen with attitude called Sherelle. Alec is at his wits end trying to find a replacement for an act which has dropped out of a show and so he asks Maxine to stand in, and of course, after a bit of negotiation and a free drink, she agrees. Seems to me that after a bit of negotiation and a free drink, Maxine would agree to just about anything......
It's been babies, babies, babies this week on the Street. Mother hen Judy is decorating their living room in preparation for the new arrival. Joyce, of course, is overjoyed that she's finally going to become a grandmother and Gary is still trying to get as much baby-making practise as possible. While nothing has been confirmed yet, Judy tells Sally that she has been sick on a morning and there's a great scene with Judy in the Rovers wondering out loud about having a baby "What if it hurts me? What if I leave it on the bus? What if it turns out like Derek?" More baby talk this week when Trisha has to go to hospital to have some tests on the unborn baby Ducky. Just when she's about to leave the hospital waiting room after being scared off by a nosy old woman who's regaling her with tales of huge needles and injections, Vera appears and she goes in with Trisha to have the tests. The nurse assumes that Vera and Trisha are mother and daughter and a peculiar smile appears on Vera's face. Trisha tells Jack and Vera that her ex-husband (or are they still married?) is due out of Strangeways any day now and will probably want to see Trisha and Jamie. Vera worries for the safety of the baby. Joyce wonders if Alec fancies her or not as he seems keen for them to be friends but admits to Deirdre that he wonders what any woman would see in a fat baldy chap like him. Joyce books a holiday at the travel agents and tries to get Alec to go on holiday with her, but instead she ends up paying for a trip to Malta on her own, forking out for the single room supplement aswell. Go for it Joyce! Be more forceful, he's only little.
Des has found an ally in Becky and recruits her to be his assistant in winding up the Wiltons. Loud music comes pounding through Derek and Mavis' flowered wall-paper walls and disrupts their plans to enjoy their new conservatory in peace. Des sends Becky in to the Wiltons house to try to make the budgie talk. Now, my brother has a budgie that talks with a Geordie accent so if Mavis' budgie ends up talking like Becky, heaven help it.
Steven jets off back to Canada and before he leaves he pops into the cafe where Alma gives him a peck on the cheek as a goodbye kiss. Deirdre, meanwhile, sits alone in the travel agents, wondering why he hasn't been in touch with her after their night out. Is it just me, or do you agree that Deirdre's chances with the fellas would be much better if she had her perm back again? A nice demi-wave can do wonders.
It's talent night at Sharelle's night club where Alec's star singer, the lovely Maxine, is caterwauling on stage and Sharelle is not amused. "You promised me talent, not this rubbish" says drag queen Sharelle, looking more glamorous and gorgeous than any real woman ever could. On with the karaoke, and who should turn out to be the karaoke queen but none other than Fiona, and Alec wants to sign her up with his agency, much to Maxine's dismay.
Maude invites Bill Webster for dinner, hoping that she can get her wayward daughter Maureen finally fixed up with a decent bloke, but Maureen has other plans.. a blind date! Maureen tells Bill the truth, and asks him to accompany her on the next blind date she has, they work out a series of codes, so if Maureen needs rescuing from the date then she drops her handbag on the floor as a "sign" and if she's enjoying herself and wants Bill to leave then she'll spill sherry down her frock and sing Rule Brittannia while standing on the bar stool. The second date goes well for Maureen (a dentist, no less!) and when she goes to find Bill to tell him she won't be needing him to hang around and wait for her, he's already gone home. Sad really, because we all know these two belong together.
More square wheeling and dealing this week with the race between Jack and Derek to fill the cubic space hotting up. This week, Jack looked like he may have spoilt his chances by repeating to Curly something that Alec had told him, which Alec had heard from the chief steward of the cruise liner (a member of the rhomboids, not so rigid as the rectangle). Curly is aghast that Jack knew the secret words, him being an outsider and all.
Ken gets called into the Headmistresses office at school, she is standing with her back to Ken, looking out of the window. Ken asks if there's anything wrong and she tells him there isn't, which is strange. Perhaps it's all a plan to make Ken the headmaster of the school? Once again this week, Liz and Jim are watched by one and all as they shout and argue with one another in the street. Jim's annoyed that Liz has her solicitor working for her to recover her legal expenses from the money that Jim's mother left him in her will. And that, for this week, is just about that.
Mavis and Derek are visited by a troop of weary looking people, members of the Historical Society. "Ooh Mavis, isn't it exciting, let's tell everyone our house is of local importance" coos Derek. "Ooh Derek" coos Mavis - you know they way they go on. The Historical Society muster together outside of the Wilton's love nest and then it all goes horribly wrong. So horribly wrong that my stomach turned over and tears welled up in my eyes. This was the kind of episode that reminds you, if you needed reminding, that Coronation Street is the best thing on TV. Emily, curious to find out what attracts the Historical Society to the Wilton's house, goes to join the group gawking at the gate posts to find out what's going on and what she hears is beyond belief. "And here" says the guide "used to be the site of a clothing factory which saw the brutal murder of a Mr. Ernest Bishop, killed at gun point, when he refused to hand over the factory takings one fateful evening.... " The Historical Society tour is actually a murder tour, taking in grisly sights and ghoulish happenings for people with nothing better to do of an evening. Emily is aghast, she can't believe what's just happened. Mavis and Derek are stunned, they never knew this was going to be the reason their little semi was included on the tour. Poor Mavis. Poor Derek. Poor, poor Emily. Percy takes it upon himself to be Emily's minder and won't let anyone in to see her when Derek and then Mavis go around to apologise. Mavis takes a box of chocolates for Emily, hoping to make up with her friend, but Emily is too upset to even take the box from Mavis, and gives Mavis a lecture about hospital visitors for some reason instead.
And on to lighter, much lighter things..... Deirdre suggest to Alec that he gets Rita involved with giving Fiona the professional coaching she needs to become a more confident singer and polished artiste. Alec pretends this was his own idea when he approaches Rita, who is only too happy to help. There's another night at Sharelle's club where Fiona is the star singer for all of 3 minutes (is it just me or is she truly terrible?), everyone is cheering Fiona on but you can tell she's got doubts about the whole thing and tells Alec she doesn't want to get any more involved with the singing profession but Rita keeps giving her little pep talks so I guess we'll have to wait a little longer to see if she'll be the next Diana Ross.
All of this square dealing business has got me bent of shape. I don't know whether to be square, rhomboid or triangular. I just wish they'd appoint a new member for goodness sake and get it over with. Men!
Ken is called into his headmistress' office once more where she gets out the crystal glasses and best sherry from her filing cabinet and confides in Ken that her husband has left her for another woman and asks if he'd like another sherry while's he sat down?
Oh dearie me. Jim has gone and done it now, so he has. More arguing with Liz in the Rovers where he yells "Ok, so you want half of what I've got do ya? Well I'll tell you what Elizabeth, shall I tell ya now, you can have half of what I've got, half of nothing, that's what I've got so it is, aye that's right etc. etc. etc. so it is" and resigns from his job as Bill's partner. He staggers through the next couple of episodes with a whisky bottle in his hand losing his patience with everyone and everything, blind to what's going on around him and too blind drunk to care. Jamie writes a letter to his dad in prison, being kind and considerate enough to include his address and telephone number on the letter. Trisha flips when she finds out that Carl has been on the telephone already and is certain that as soon as he's out of prison he'll come to find her and beat her up. She seeks sanctuary in the Rovers with Jack and Vera, but Jack tells her not to be too hasty and suggests she goes to see Carl in prison before he gets out to tell him that she doesn't want him around her when he gets released.
More gossip from the Rovers. Judy is rambling on about having a baby to which Samantha cuts in with an icy word or two. "I don't know what you're talking about, you haven't even got a husband!" "Who says I haven't?" replies Samantha. "Or even a boyfriend" quips Judy to which Samantha replies "Between you and me, I prefer women". Now, this could have been one of those throwaway remarks as in - I prefer women to go shopping with when I'm buying my frillies at Marksies but I prefer men to snog with - or it could simply mean that she prefers women. I guess we'll have to wait and see. This could be an interesting storyline and long overdue, but as every other soap at the moment also has a designated gay person, the words "jumping on the bandwagon" are itching to leave my fingertips.
Maude is back from her weekend in Llandudno with the over 60's
club and she's telling Maureen all about her adventures while
they work in the corner shop. In comes Bill wanting half a pound
of potatoes. "We haven't got any left" says Maude "You'll
have to have our Maureen instead". No, she didn't really
say that but I wish she had because Bill and Maureen end up giving
each other a lovely cuddle beside the bananas and then get all
embarrassed and try to pretend it didn't really happen. Now I
want these two to get married, and soon. We've got 2 lonely people
here and they need each other. Writers, please give them a Christmas
wedding, they deserve a little bit of happiness.
