The Platt's are back on the Street after their trip to Canada, and Nick isn't with them. He's stayed in Canada under the supervision of his uncle Steven and spending his inheritance from the sale of Ivy's house on private education. "It's like a Canadian Eton" Audrey tells everyone who can bear to listen to her. Don isn't happy, as usual, and gives Gail and Martin an earful about how they can't look after their son properly and then send him away to school thousands of miles away using money which doesn't even belong to him.
Curly is called in front of the inner rectangle (Norris and Fred) who accuse Curly of repeating the secret oath to Jack Duckworth. Curly is innocent but this doesn't cut any ice with the inner sanctum and they proclaim, for it is written, that Curly must carry out the 49 deeds as a penance for his sins. This doesn't upset Curly too much because Raquel arrived back on the Street this week after 10 weeks on her aromatherapy course and he's got other things on his mind. Raquel doesn't seem pleased to back though, will she still be satisfied with the poky little terraced house she once called home, now that she's back up north?
Trisha goes to see Carl in prison, to tell him to leave her alone when he gets released. She lets slip that she's pregnant again, it's too much for Carl to take and he snaps "You're still my wife!" and then slaps her across the face. Jamie wants to know what caused the bruising on his mum's face and Trish concocts a story about how she bumped into a drunk in a night-club. "You all think I'm stupid" he tells Deirdre "But I know what happened, and my dad will sort it all out when he gets out of jail". Oh dear. Trisha cries to Jack and Vera and they take her under their Duckie wing when they find out what's happened to her. Vera even offers to pay for Trish to divorce Carl, Jack just twiddles his glasses and talks to his pigeons.
Fiona is still very unsure whether she wants to be a singer or not. On the one hand she has Maxine telling her to get out of a dead end job and go for the stardom, and on the other, Alec buys her a great new dress and then takes her to an awful pub where she's expected to perform as his star artiste, under terrible conditions. As her coach, Rita isn't sure that Fiona has the determination to succeed.
After drinking the corner shop dry of whisky, Jim gets the DT's and tells Andy that he's never going to drink again, so he isn't. Jim and Bill make up and Jim gives back the keys to his van to Bill, he even passes on a contact to Bill for some building work and they're best muckers once more.
Andy moves into Anne's new house and while Andy has his belongings in a couple of old bin-bags, Ann has hers in numbered boxes! She'll be initialling the cornflakes and labelling the coffee granules next, just wait and see.
Des tries to get Mavis and Derek to baby-sit Becky so he can go out to the theatre with Claire, and so he rambles on about how much Becky likes Mavis and Derek, and how she's especially fond of their budgie. His plea is turned down though when Mavis tells him that they're going to an allotment do that evening but Mavis kindly buys another budgie for Becky as Des had said how much she liked Beauty.
Ken gets a lift home from school (work?) from his headmistress, who invites herself into the Rovers for a drink with Ken. This is one pushy woman. Mind you, if she can control a school full of yobbos then she can certainly manage to seduce and manipulate Ken. She tells Ken that 2 members of staff have been invited to a multimedia conference, which involves an overnight stay. One of the staff members is Ken, and ..... what a surprise, the other one is her!
And yes, it looks like Maureen and Bill are getting together. At last! Even Maude approves!
Elvis lives! Yes he's alive and kicking, living in Coronation Street and married to Audrey Roberts. At least, I think it was Elvis in the Rovers all dressed up like a dog's dinner, with a quiff, drain pipe trousers, waistcoat and one of those little string tie things that teddy boys used to wear. Alf knew Audrey had been making plans to celebrate his 70th birthday in style and assumed they were going to see the musical "`Grease' and so he proved he wasn't the oldest swinger in town (yet) by dressing up in 50's clothes for his birthday treat at the theatre.
Unfortunately, the birthday surprise wasn't a trip to the theatre, but a party in the Rovers where Audrey presented Alf with another birthday gift of a trip to a health farm. Gail and Martin saw through this ploy of Audrey's immediately, and Alf almost had another heart attack when he saw how much he would have to fork out to pay for his own birthday treat.
Best line of the week went to Roy Cropper (as usual) who gave Alf his birthday greetings "70 eh? So you're really living on borrowed time now, aren't you?".
The path of true love never runs smoothly for Maureen who changes her mind about things as often as she changes her hairdo. Jim tells Maureen that she has really put a smile on Bill's face, so she has, and admits to Maureen that he too would use a dating agency if his love life was in such a mess as hers. Maureen is incensed that Bill told Jim this about her and decides she can't trust anyone but herself any longer and refuses to speak to Bill.
The police visit Trisha and ask if she wants to press charges against Carl for assault. With so many witnesses who saw him punch her, it would be impossible not to get a conviction against him which would mean he'd spend more time in prison and his release date would be put back. But, Trisha is afraid of Carl's anger and thinks this would make life more difficult for her when he eventually does get out of prison. Jamie wants to meet his dad and Can't understand why Trisha won't tell him the truth about who hit her in the face. When she does eventually tell him, he runs off down the back lane and then later runs away from school (where Ken gives him a stern talking to). Trisha finally agrees to let Jamie visit Carl in prison, hoping that Jamie will find out what a brute his father really is.
Maxine tells Fiona she should decorate the hair salon (and about time too!) to make it more of Fiona's own place instead of using the decor which Denise had originally chosen. Despite words of wisdom from Rita and promises of more bookings from Alec, Fiona is still undecided over her singing career.
Remember that horse which the fellas bought? It's been so long ago since it was mentioned.... Anyway, Jack writes out a cheque to cover his share of the monthly expenses but instead of paying his own share of £80, he pays £160 (as Vera finds out when she steams open the envelope). Vera demands to know why he's paying double, and Jack admits he's covering Don Brennan's share of the horse too as Don is having money problems. In the Rovers, Don mentions he's looking for a lodger to help cover costs there. Perhaps the horse should move in with him?
Raquel is not amused by Curly and his Square Dealing. I think the Square Dealers storyline started out well, quite subtle and very funny but I feel it's been done to death at the moment. However, Raquel is expressing my irritation with this storyline when she tells Curly, Fred, Norris et al that they are all behaving like little boys in a secret society. She is particularly upset that the 49 tasks which Curly has been asked to carry out could take up to 7 years to complete! Curly helps Raquel send out letters offering aromatherapy sessions; one letter is to Manchester United and Curly gets all wistful about how cute their children will look wearing a United shirt [actually no - that's the last thing he wants. He wasnt his kids to wear Manchester CITY shirts ! - Graham]. You can tell by the look on Raquel'sface that having children is the last thing on her "I've been done South and there's no stopping me now!" mind.
In that warm and loving way she has about her, Ann presents Andy with a rent book as a house-warming gift so she can make sure he pays his dues. I think he's doing that already, dear.
Ken is collared in the school corridor by the headmistress who drills him in the ways of the multimedia weekend they're both due to attend. I get the feeling that she'll have more on her mind than floppy disks.
It's been rather a slow week on the Street this week, with good storylines thin on the ground. I'm not knocking my favourite show, but this week Eastenders beat Coronation Street as "Best Soap Opera" in the UK National TV Awards. I hope that when the Street goes 4 times weekly that stronger characters and better storylines emerge to keep our attention.
Raquel goes to see Jack and Alec, to get Curly out of trouble with the Square Dealers. Jack admits to Fred and Norris that it was Alec who told him the secret oath, not Curly. Fred and Norris rush round to give their apologies to Curly and invite the lost sheep back into the brethren. However, Curly has already been to see Alf to resign from the sacred square because of pressure from Raquel. With Fred and Norris grovelling to Curly, Raquel pulls a face that Hilda Ogden would be proud of, she remains tight-lipped and lets Curly know (without saying a word) that if he re- joins the square dealers his life just won't be worth living. Raquel continues with her job hunting as an aromatherapist and has an interview with a posh hotel in Manchester. There's an excellent scene with Raquel and Curly where Raquel tells him of her hopes to be an aromatherapist after having the interview. Curly isn't happy about this as it means they won't be having a family as they planned originally and he dearly wants to have children. He tells Raquel not to get her hopes up as she is only likely to get barwork where she'll spend her day dreaming about being a model once more. Raquel also has a good scene with Des, when she goes into the cafe. Roy is cleaning the tables, and the only free seat is at the table where Des is sitting and he asks Raquel to sit there (good one, Roy!). Des tells her that she's changed, she's more confident these days and harps on again that she was wrong to marry Curly.
Maureen and Bill are still not together, despite Maud's attempts to throw her scatty daughter into Bill's arms. Finally, Maureen plucks up the courage to speak to Bill and walks confidently into the Rovers. When she finds Bill sharing a joke with Joyce, she puts 2+2 together to equal 7 and walks out again, her hopes dashed. Later, Bill tells Maureen that he had been doing some work for Joyce's landlord and that's why he had been talking to Joyce. He confesses to Maureen that he really wants to be with her. But, fluffy as ever, Maureen blames her mother, the shop, her hairdo, and says it's the wrong time for her to have a relationship (but gives him a lingering kiss after he walks her to her van).
Ann wants to invite her parents and Andy's parents for dinner in the new house. Mr and Mrs Malone arrive along with Jim who arrives without Liz. Ann's parents are wary in case Jim starts throwing whisky bottles about but he allays their fears when he asks for "froot jooce", so he does.
Claire's interfering mother in law is round at Des' house again, whispering conspiratorially in Claire's ear. "Have you told him about the money?" It turns out that Claire receives a pension of £16,000 a year from the RAF after her husband died. The rules stipulate that if the RAF widow marries or lives with another person then the pension stops. When Des finds out about this (from Billy Williams, not the ma-in-law) he talks to Claire about it. She tells him she is ready to have the pension stopped, which proves to Des the kind of commitment Claire is making to him.
Jamie is all confused. He wants to know that Carl is his real dad but doesn't know what to believe after Trisha receives a letter from Carl in jail. Carl says that he isn't accepting responsibility for Carl as he could be anyone's son. Trisha ceremoniously burns the letter, poor Jamie, he doesn't know where he's at and seeks solace with Jack's pigeons when he bunks off school.
It's Ken's birthday and the headmistress gives him a bottle of wine she's had in her filing cabinet for some time. She's very friendly and informal with Ken one minute and then the next she's official and his boss, he can't quite make her out. That evening, she comes to Ken's house and he offers to cook her dinner when she pours out her troubles to him and drinks his sherry bottle dry. He asks Deirdre what to do about the situation, and Deirdre tells Ken what is painfully obvious to all of us - the headmistress is lusting after Ken and he either has to put a stop to it or just let himself get involved.
Ashley wants to leave home to get away from his mother's boyfriend. He asks Kelly what he should do, and she tells him about the room for rent in Don Brennan's house. Ashley thinks this would be the ideal solution, as he could then spend more time with Kelly, so off they both go to have a look at Don's house. "Oh, it smells!" says Kelly. Ashley thinks it would be perfect but Kelly isn't so keen on him living there as she's afraid he'll be wanting rumpeh- pumpeh with her in his room every night.
Spoilers...
Have just heard this week that:
1. Tracy Barlow will be back on the Street soon when she gets married!
2. Ken will fall into despair (again) at Christmas time when Denise returns to take baby Danny away!
3. Jack looks set to get a new pair of glasses (about blinkin' time!)
Some people just don't like being happy, and Des Barnes is one of them. Now he's realised that Claire is willing to give up her £16,000 in pension so that she can live with him, he tells her he wants her to move out. That's right, he's throwing her and Becky out onto the street because he doesn't want to commit himself to Claire the way she is prepared to commit herself to him. (Des even seeks advice from slimebag Sean Skinner). Poor Becky is suffering, she doesn't know what's going on and blames herself for her mother and Des splitting up.
Raquel and Curly's marriage is starting to show some strain. Curly still wants to have a family and Raquel tells him that true commitment is needed for starting a family. "Commitment?" he says "I am committed! Every night I've been committed, sometimes twice a night!". Raquel starts her new job as a masseuse in a beauty parlour. The girls she works with are all blonde, pretty and in their pink and white uniforms, I fear Raquel will get sucked into their Stepford Wives lifestyle in no time. Curly is rather annoyed when he arrives to collect Raquel from work, only to be told that she is going for a few drinks first with her colleagues.
Ashleigh moves in with Don Brennan as his lodger and already Don is leading the boy into bad habits. On the first night, Kelly and Ashleigh hang around hoping that Don will go out so they can have the house to themselves but Don shows no signs of moving so they both end up going out themselves. Then, Don's friend comes over for a drunken poker evening, and before you know it, Ashleigh's playing poker like a demon (and winning), all thoughts of Kelly gone from his mind.
Ken has a heart to heart with his headmistress and confesses that he thinks she fancies him. At first, she denies it but later admits that it was in the back of her mind. Off they go to the multi media conference together, in separate rooms and Ken intends to keep it that way.
Jamie is still a little upset about his father in prison but Jack cheers him up when he tells him he can have one of the baby pigeons as his very own.
Maureen and Bill ALMOST got together this week. Maude went out to her bingo night, and Maureen invited Bill around for dinner. The two of them admit they have strong feelings for each other, run upstairs to the bedroom and just when Maureen is closing the curtains, she spies Martin Platt's car outside in the street with her mother getting out of the car. In a panic, they both get dressed and dash downstairs. However, Maude recognised Bill's van, realised what was going on and asked Martin to take her back to the Rovers, leaving Bill and Maureen to wonder what's happened outside. "I hope there'll be other times... " grunts a disappointed Bill. "Oh yes, there will, I'll make sure of it" sighs a rather confused Maureen.
Liz and Jim agree to disagree about their divorce, on the advice of Deidre (who is dressed to look an awful lot like Joe90 in one of this week's episodes). Deidre tells them to seek arbitration which they decide to do (I'm not sure what this is as I wasn't paying much attention at this point, my dog has a sore foot and I was looking at that instead). Alf had to send his driving licence to the DVLA for renewal when he hit his 70th birthday so he can't drive his car at the moment and is walking everywhere. I wouldn't have mentioned this but it was brought up a few times this week so I thought I'd better slip it in, just in case.
Another slow week on the Street this week, I'm afraid. Ken and the headmistress, Sue, are away on their multimedia conference when who should walk into the hotel but Norris and Derek, who are there on a golfing weekend which Norris and Angela should have attended but Angela pulled out at the last minute and Norris asked Derek to go instead. If you remember, the headmistress was the person who sacked Derek from his position at the school as janitor, so the two of them don't really get on very well. Later, much later that evening, Sue calls at Ken's room with a bottle of plonk and tells Ken she needs to talk to someone, so she settles down on his bed and eventually talks and drinks herself to sleep. Being the gentleman he is, Ken leaves her sleeping there and he sleeps in her room.
The next morning, when Ken goes back to his own room he finds Sue unconscious on the bathroom floor, she'd got drunk and fell against the basin in the bathroom, knocking herself out. When Norris sees Sue being carried out of Ken's room on a stretcher later that morning he gets the wrong idea about what has happened and he tells Derek his juicy piece of gossip. Derek, in turn, tells Mavis who tells Rita who tells Emily and before you know it everyone knows, even Becky, who overhears this scandalous news about her headmistress and one of her teachers.
Raquel and Curly are invited to dinner at the Mallets. When the Watts are getting stuck into the pudding and custard, Judy's watch bleeps. "Come on Gary, it's time!" and the two of them dash upstairs to make the most of Judy's fertile moment! Raquel and Curly are left sitting at the dinner table, both very embarrassed. Curly is still hoping to become a father too, but now that Raquel has her career, she wants to put motherhood on hold. Mr. Firman invites Curly and Raquel to dinner, and Curly reminds Raquel of the embarrassment caused the last time they went to dinner at the Firmans. "Oh I was gauche then" says Raquel "And the shoes I wore in those days were horrible". I get the feeling that Curly wants the old-style gauche Raquel back, horrible shoes or not.
Des doesn't want to give up Claire, but doesn't want her to lose her pension money, so he rents the flat above the bookies shop from Sean Skinner and tells Claire and Becky to move in there. They intend to use it just as a postal address, so officially, Claire isn't seen to be living with Des and won't lose out on the £16,000 pension each year. Why do I get the feeling that this will all go horribly wrong?
Jim and Liz are finished, it's all over, gone. They go to see an external mediator, but end up arguing when Jim offers Liz only £500 from the money his mother left him in his will. Liz wants her pound of flesh and storms out of the meeting. When Jim tells Bill what's been going on, Bill turns on Jim, shouting "Is this all you can talk about? Don't you know it's boring? Boring! BORING!" (And it's about time someone said that). With Andy's support, Liz goes to see Jim again, and this time he offers her £1,000, which she accepts. (it should keep her in Slimfast meals for one for a few months) "So that's it then, so it is" says Jim, gazing at Liz. "Yes, that's it, finished" says Liz but by the way these two are gazing at each other, it looks like neither one of them can accept that their marriage is truly finished.
Slimy Sean Skinner is trying his best to chat up Sulky Samantha in the Rovers but I hope she's got more sense than to fall for him. When Betty sees what's going on, she remarks "We've had enough trouble with Bookies and barmaids in this pub already".
Alf has to have a health check now that he's 70, so that he can reapply for his driving licence. He's worried about going to the doctor in case the doctor finds something wrong with him. He asks Martin for advice "It's for a friend, like..." but Martin knows that Alf is asking for advice for himself and tells him to go to the doctor who he's sure will give him a clean bill of health.
Ashley and Kelly are back together. Oh no they're not! Oh yes they are! Oh no they're not! Ah, the joys of young love, innocent and sweet, painful and bitter. Uncle Fred gets involved in Ashley's love life when he sees how upset Ashley is at work but even less than subtle words from Fred don't manage to get these two barmcakes back together. Kelly's convinced that Don Brennan is leading Ashley into had habits - drinking and gambling - but Ashley is just enjoying his first sip of independence living away from home.
