I'm looking for a volunteer. Hands up if you want the job! I'm hoping that someone will want to write the weekly updates while I'm off on holiday during November. I'm off for 3 weeks but there'll be 4 weeks of updates to write for the lucky person, please email me for details if you are interested. I'm desperately hoping someone will step in to write the updates, because then I can log in from overseas and catch up with all the Corra goings on!
Just think what writing the weekly updates could do for YOU! Some quotes from previous update writers:
"I really enjoyed writing the updates for you while you were on holiday, Glenda" Chris Colcomb, November 1995
"I felt like a new man writing the weekly updates for Glenda when she was on holiday. I lost 15lbs in 4 weeks and can now jog freely without my underpants binding up on me" Nigel Worsfold, November 1996
So, another week, another update.
Well, I told you last week she was going to do it, and she has! Maureen has ran off with Bill Webster, off they went in a taxi en-route to Germany. Long time readers of the updates will know I always wanted Maureen and Bill to live happily ever after, so I'm pleased they got together in the end. What I didn't expect was that Maureen would leave Fred Eliot behind her, a broken man, I say, a broken man. Before she left, it was obvious that Maureen had made a great mistake and that she shouldn't have married Fred even though he loved her dearly and would have made a great husband. She found fault in everything he did, asking him "why do you have to repeat everything Fred?" and my heart went out to Fred, it really did. Maud breaks the news to Fred that Maureen has gone, and he takes to drinking, fearing what would happen if he allowed himself to stay sober.
Rita tells Mavis that she wants to back out of going into partnership with her in the bed and breakfast in the Lake District. Far from being upset, Mavis is determined to go it alone without Rita's help. She's seen the bank manager and is set on running the place alone, even though Rita has doubts about Mavis' business sense. A goodbye party is arranged for later this week in Rita's flat, and I for one really hope, fingers crossed, that Mavis will utter the immortal words "Oooh, I don't really know, Rita". Gone on Mave, say it, just for old time's sake.
Natalie actually apologised to Sally this week, and told her she'd be dropping the charges against her. I put this down to the woman having PMT, can't think why else she changed her mind so suddenly.
Don has legged it from hospital, catching the guard on the hop. He goes to Firman's where he tears down a picture of Alma from the wall, then he finds Sarah-Lou and buys her lunch, telling her not to tell anyone that she has seen him. Next, he wanders into the butchers to see Ashley, and this is a great scene with Ashley's lip quivering while Don spears chunks of raw meat with a sharp knife. Ashley tells Mike that Don is out of hospital, and Mike is worried for Alma's safety after Alma sees Don hanging around outside of the flat. Don also turns up at the cemetery at Brian Tilsley's graveside, spotted by Emily who is tidying up Ernest's grave. Don rings Underworld and disguising his voice, he tells Angie he's from a delivery company and that he'll be delivering material later this week, making sure that Mike will be around for him to terrorise before the police cart him off to the funny farm, no doubt.
Deirdre asks Ken to go to the airport again to pick up a Sunliners client. While Ken is at the airport, he sees Jon again in Tie n Fly. Thinking it more than a co-incidence that Jon should be in the shop again, Ken goes into the shop and asks the assistant about Jon, the assistant confirms that Jon is the shop manager. What's Ken to do? He tells Emily, who tells him he must tell Deirdre the truth.
I think we've found out who's been in Percy and Emily's house eating cakes, stealing money and turning the colour on the TV to blue. It isn't the Battersby's son as I thought last week, it is in fact Les Battersby. Percy finds an empty vodka bottle down the side of the chair, evidence that Les had been in there watching TV and drinking, but Percy thinks Emily is going senile, and Emily thinks it's all Percy's fault.
Sam and Des are back from their boating holiday with Sam still not finding her land-legs. "Do you feel as if you're still bobbing up and down?" she asks Des, rather saucily I thought.
Anyway, that's about all for this week. Not much has happened. Next week will be really sad when Mavis leaves, I'm sure. I for one will miss her, you could recruit 10 Janice Battersbys and they wouldn't come close to filling the quality void that Mavis will leave behind her.
Glenda :-)
Well, a week of shocks, revealation and mystery.
Manic Don sneaks up on Baldwin in "Underworld" and bashes him over the head with someone large and heavy (Gail's chin, I think it was). So Mike is lying on the floor, wounded, and Don ties him to a table so he's unable to move. Threatening to kill him, Don tells Mike he's going to torch the factory with him in it, but before he can carry out his evil deed, in comes Angie, hero of the hour who coshes Don on the head with something even bigger and heavier (Deirdre's glasses, this time) and off she runs to phone the police. However, Don escapes with Mike's car keys and revving the car up, he smashes it straight into a pile of cardboard boxes placed along a wall, the car bursts into flames, Don is written out at last. Not very exciting really, but there you go.
Mavis leaves after a little soiree in Rita's flat. The two of them bicker to the end but make up in time for Rita to give old Mave a fond and tearful farewell. The neighbours in the Street present Mavis with an old photo of her with Rita working in the Kabin many years ago. And off she went to the lakes, with Rita asking for a double vodka in the Rovers and tears in her eyes wondering if she'd made a mistake staying put in Weatherfield. Now of course, Rita needs a new assistant and asks Judy Mallett if she would like a few hours work each day, bringing Katie along with her to snooze away in the back room (much like Mavis did really).
Does the Street have a ghost? No! As I said last week, it's Les Battersby causing havoc - but why? Emily is becoming more concerned with Percy's absent mindedness, and Percy is sure that Emily has taken to drinking after finding an empty vodka bottle down the side of the chair. Ken also thinks Emily might have a drink problem after finding her with an empty brandy bottle in his house, but Emily says the bottle was empty when Ken gave it to her. Then, Emily finds a girlie magazine in Ken's house and is too embarassed to say anything to him, but when Ken finds the magazine later, he rushes to the Rovers, explains to Emily that it isn't his (that's what they all say, Ken) and they wonder just what is going on. Well, in terraced houses in this part of the world, some of the older ones have attics that are linked together. To get from one house to another, all you do is climb up into your own attic space, walk along to your neighbour's and let yourself into your neighbour's house through their loft hatch. And this is exactly what Les Battersby is doing... but why? He even tells Janice that he's noticed strange goings on in their house too and breaks a mirror in their living room while no one else is around to make it look as if strange things are going on in their house too. Janice is terrified, after hearing tales of Ivy's ghost and is convinced that Ivy is back to haunt them all. Even Toyah and Leanne wonder if it's a mischeveious spirit so they get the ouija board out but when it spells out "Toyah is fat" they know they shouldn't be taking it seriously.
And it finally happened.. Ken told Deirdre the truth about John. Oh, she cried, she shouted, she wanted to disbelieve him but in her heart she knew she had to find out the truth for herself, so off she went to Manchester airport and saw it with her own eyes. After confronting John, he came round to see her at the flat, and told her that yes, he had been a pilot but was discharged because he had an ear imbalance (no fun, I know - I have one too. Oh well, there goes my chances of flying Concorde - darn!) Anyway, instead of being made redundant he took a managerial retail position which he felt he didn't want to tell Deirdre about because he didn't know he was going to be so serious about her. Deirdre's neck muscles don't know whether they're coming or going, she really is in a waffle about what to do. At first she tells him she wants nothing to do with him, but with a wobble in her voice, she eventually tells him that she wants to put this all behind her and get on with their future together. 'Atta girl!
Fred, desperate for news from Maureen, stays indoors in case the phone should ring, but it never does. Maude receives a letter from Maureen telling her to sell the shop and to offer it to Fred first, but Fred wants nowt to do wi' it. He decides to move back into his old bachelor pad and Ashley helps him move out of the Street, looking rather fetching with a pink lamp shade on his head.
And that's just about that really. Remember, if you fancy writing the updates for a week (or two) while I'm away on holiday in November, I'd dearly like to hear from you. Go on, send me an email, you know you want to.
Glenda :-)
There have been more arrivals and departures on the Street lately than there are in the rush hour at Paddington station, and this week it no exception.
Guess who returned this week? Looking like he failed the audition for an Aussie soap, a new character takes the place of Nick Tilsley this week, who returns running into this mother's arm at Don Brennan's funeral. His year in Canada (has it really been a year already?) has made him taller, chunkier and irresistable to Toyah Battersby who starts following him round like a lost puppy, much to Gail's disdain. "He can keep away from that little madam an' all" she tells Martin. Too late, Gail. Nick enrols at the local college to study Physical Education, Toyah enrols at the college too to take an 'urdressin course but really, she just wants to be with Nick. She tries to get him to skip class to go into town with her, but he refuses. Gail isn't at all pleased about his friendship with the Battersby girl.
Guess who left this week? Convinced that Emily has a serious drink problem, angry that she won't confess to pinning his medals to this P.J.'s (Les Battersby did it on one of his mischevious jaunts between the lofts), Percy decides to call it a day and moves into Mayfield Court, the same place where Maude now lives. With his belongings (and his budgie) in Ken's car, he says goodbye to Emily with a polite handshake and a few words of advice to "take more water with it" and off he goes. The old codger has gone. As long as I can remember the Street has always had an old codger, Albert Tatlock, Percy Sugden.. who will take his place? A few more years, and it could be Ken Barlow!
So, Les Battersby is still up to his nuisance tricks. Roy offers to help solve the mystery, and to find out if indeed there is a spirit in the Street or not. Armed with scientific knowledge, he lays down a tray of sand in Ken's, Emily's and the Battersbys' houses and tells them to inspect the sand the next morning to see if it has been disturbed. When Ken is asleep, Les gets into Ken's house and using a small battery operated fan, he creates circles in the sand, (I thought it looked like Pamela Anderson had fallen over and landed boobs down into the sand). Roy is mystified the next day when he sees the mysterious sand circles, he's at a loss to explain it all. When Alec is asked in the Rovers where he stands on the spirit issue, he replies "don't mind if I do, I'll have a quick scotch".
Angie and Chris are finished, she tells Curly "I started picking at the relationship and it sort of unravelled in front of my eyes" (I love lines like that), and while she is a bit depressed, Chris is straight round to see Sally with a bottle of white wine in his hand. Unfortuantely for them both, Gail visits Sally while Chris is there and he leaves, Sally tells Gail he just popped round to see if there were any jobs that needed doing. (I think he was particularly interested in testing the bed springs, dear). Angie has a few bad days at work after she has to meet a (male) client to sell her designs. The client wants Angie to model the designs for her and then asks her to lunch a few days later, where he once again tries to get her into her undies on the pretence of looking at her designs! She isn't best pleased when she goes back to the office and Mike wonders why she can't sell the lingerie, and storms out after calling Mike a sexist pig. "awright then darlin'" he replies, or something similar anyway. Angie gets a bit Brahams in the Rovers and after deciding she can no longer live with Des and suffer the lovey dovey atmosphere between him and Samantha, she tells Samantha the only sensible thing to do is for her to move in with Curly and for Samantha to move in with Des. It's all a bit comical, especially when Curly turns up and wonders what on earth is going on in his house. He doesn't seem to mind Angie moving back in though, but when she takes a look around at the same walls, the same rooms, the same Curly she left behind many years ago, she wonders what she's done.
Judy starts work in the Kabin with Rita, but things get a bit noisy when baby Katie keeps on crying. Rita wonders if she's done the right thing taking Judy (and the baby) on in the Kabin. She questions Judy about Gary's relationship with Zoe and Judy spins her yarn about Gary being the father of the baby and how she's forgiven him for what he's done. Rita gets that wise old owl look on her face and you know she doesn't believe a word of what Judy has just told her.
And just what is Jon the airline pilot / tie salesman up to now? Ken finally agrees to go along with Deirdre and John's story that John was an airline pilot, got vestibular neuronitis (same as me! fame at last!) and so took a land job in retail management. They tell as many people as possible this new lie and people seem to believe them, once more. But... just when it looks like things are straightforward at last, Jon tells Deirdre he has to stay overnight somewhere to manage another branch of the tie shop chain. However, we see him sitting very cosily on a sofa with another woman we assume to be his wife (ooh!), fondling a cuddly bunny, which I assume is meant to let us know that he also has kids. Deirdre - to believe one lie is unfortunate. To believe two is simply careless.
And that's all for this week.
Glenda :-)
Hello folks! I'm off on holiday for 3 weeks and in my absence the updates will be written by Fiona Hamilton, Phillippa Freeguard and Ian Harding. (You can read all about Ian at his home page http://www.pusscat.demon.co.uk). Many thanks to all of them for er... volunteering so heartily! And many thanks also to Graham Allsopp for distributing the updates to the mailing list while I'm away.
Nick isn't in Gail's good books after his relationship with Leanne grows. Gail is furious that her son, back from the colonies, is going out with one of the Battersbys. Gail sends Martin to free Nick from Leanne's clutches when Nick stays chez Battersby for tea, but Nick refuses to leave. Things progress from one stage to another, with Leanne seducing Nick... he doesn't half look worried when she asks him if he's got much experience, and he replies rather unsurely, "oh yeah, loads". So, off they go upstairs to her room and are in various states of undress when Ken Barlow falls through the ceiling and lands on the bed. No, I'm not making that bit up, let me explain...!
Les Battersby, still causing havoc running around the loft spaces and into other folks houses, is sitting in Emily's house after putting a bet on a horse. The horse he's backed wins the race, and Les is ecstatic at winning £800 ! In comes Emily with Rita, so Les hides under the table as they natter on, but when he eventually leaves, he leaves the betting slip in Emily's house. He eventually gets the betting slip back, after waiting and waiting and finally getting into the loft space from his own house, when he thinks there is nobody in the house (but we all know that Leanne and Nick are in her bedroom, not wanting to make a noise and give the game away). So he picks up the betting slip, but just as he's running up the stairs, Emily and Ken walk in through the front door, Ken gives chase up the stairs, he knows there's someone in the loft space but doesn't know that it's Les Battersby. He follows into the loft space and falls straight through the ceiling on to Leanne's bed, stunned. And cheeky Les Battersby pops his head round the door of his daughter's bedroom and asks "Ken, just what are you doing?".
Rita is wondering if she's made a mistake by employing Judy Mallet when baby Katie won't stop crying at the Kabin. She isn't best pleased when Judy hands the baby to Alec Gilroy to hold as she sorts out some paperwork.
John the airline pilot/tie n fly manager is married, and he does have children, it looks like he's living a double life and lying to his wife too. Leading Deirdre up the garden path, round the shrubbery and behind the conservatory, he's now talking about buying a house together with Deirdre and she's full of enthusiasm, looking through estate agent brochures etc. She invites Liz to dinner to cheer her up, she's feeling a bit low as it's her 40th birthday next week.
Sally and Chris do the business! (and this was the episode I missed!) but ever since, they've been ignoring each other. I don't know if red wine was involved, but I suspect it might have been. Sally decides she's going to speak to Chris and get to know him better but when she asks Alec if he's seen Chris in the Rovers, Alec tells her that Chris went out with Angie to look at a flat.
Angie and Mike argue in the factory over the lingerie order. Mike wants Angie to do "what it takes" to secure the order, but Angie knows what this means, and refuses to prance about in her undies for a buyer, and whatever else he wanted too. Mike finally gets the order, and tells Angie she needs to be more business like, but later admits that the order was taken because of the quality of the designs.
And that's it for this week. I'll be back at the end of November. See you then.
Glenda
