Well, I missed Friday night's episode this week as I was in Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival. At the time that Corra was being shown to the nation, I was in the Edinburgh College of Art watching Terry Pratchett's "The Hogfather" being acted out in front of me. I've never read any of Terry Pratchett's books and didn't think I would particularly enjoy this play, but I was proved wrong, it was wonderful and those little Christmas pixie things were more than a little unnerving. Anyway, it was a great weekend at the festival, hectic and exhausting, only sitting down long enough to watch Sunderland beat Ipswich 2-0 on Saturday evening in a pub full of Sunderland supporters in the middle of Edinburgh. A wonderful, wonderful weekend. So, the update covers only 3 episodes. I would normally check the episode I missed on Mike Plowman's CSVU site but AOL won't let me onto the WWW, telling me "that area is temporarily closed for maintenance". The idea of a little virtual workman dusting the cobs from the web, putting a splash of paint on the http and doing something electrical with the forward slash tickles me pink, it really does. Anyway, on with the Coronation Street weekly update:
With Kevin out of the way, Greg stays overnight at Sally's house and the girls are asking where their dad has gone. Greg seems more than a little disinterested in Sally's kids and this is starting to concern her. Greg suggests to Sally that Kev should move back in so it looks as if Sally isn't up to anything she shouldn't be and Sally agrees. He also suggests they should use Sally's money to set up in business together and they go looking at offices for their new clothing business which they'll set up in competition with Baldwin. When Kev sees Sally and Greg return from a late lunch together, running back to the factory, he asks Sally what's going on and she tells him about the new business. Kev tells her that Greg is only after her money, but she refuses to listen to him. Kevin has a word with Natalie, telling her he can't afford to buy her out of the garage now that he can't get the bank loan and she's not best pleased.
Problems at Freshco for Curly, who starts reading an assertiveness book so he can stand up to the ice maiden, Anne. Anne wants to sack Alma but Curly puts in a good word for Alma and Anne changes her mind about sacking her. But what's really going on? On his way home from work, Curly's car breaks down so Anne gives him a lift home. In Curly's house, Anne is full of praise for Norman, telling him that she'll recommend him for promotion to Area Manager when she's promoted to Regional Manager and he starts to think she's not as psychopathic as perhaps he thought she was. But then, his phone rings and Curly leaves the room to take the call. Anne takes one of his books from his bookshelf, a book with Curly's handwriting inside the front cover, and stashed it away in her briefcase. Later, back at her house, we see her, in a sort of deranged madwoman kind of way, cutting letters out of the book and sticking them on a piece of paper - so far, the message reads "We demand a ... ". We demand a what? A what? A pint of Guinness and a bag of crisps? A good slap around the ear for being so peculiar? What? What?
All is not well in the Rovers with Alec telling Vera and Jack he wants to dissolve the partnership and return to Southampton. When Rita finds out Alec's plans, she blames herself, feeling she's pushed Alec away and wonders what life would be like without him. She ruminates over a gin in the Rovers, there's some serious thinking to be done. And in the episode I missed, it looks like the street's feminist and wide boy are going to get married after all. How I would have loved to have seen that episode, but I didn't, so I can't tell you what happened. Anyway, they decide to get married and off they go shopping for a wedding ring. Alec is horrified at the prices in the shops and tells Rita he much prefers the "thin, less showy" (i.e. cheaper) rings on sale before offering to get in touch with one of his wholesale jewelry mates who can get them a good deal. In the Rovers, Fred extends his best wishes to Rita, with a sigh and a speech to her about "what might have been" between the two of them. He wishes her "all the joy in the world, that's if you'll find any joy with Alec". Alec tells Vera and Jack about the upcoming nuptials and offers to buy their share of the Rovers, and keep them both on as management rather than part-owners. Jack and Vera think about this for a moment, look at each other, look back at Alec and in unison ask him "What's the catch?".
Les sees Toyah leave Ken's house after her tuition, and assumes the worst has been happening between his step daughter and the man next door. He storms out of the house, calls Ken "an evil little pervert" and gives him a good thumping. A crowd gathers round them in the Street and Toyah drags Ken back into his house, offering to bathe his wounds but he yells at her to get out, she's caused enough trouble already. Back at the Battersby house, Toyah and Janice are more than a little upset about Les' behaviour (and in the episode I didn't see - again!), Toyah runs away, she's gone to London to look for her real dad. Janice and Les are beside themselves with worry and call the police. "Quick, hide the telly" shouts Les "and the phone!" The police aren't able to offer any concrete advice on finding Toyah so Les and Janice decide to travel to London and find Toyah themselves. Les wonders how Toyah knows the address of her real father, Ronnie Clegg. Janice tells him that Ronnie had written to her a few times, begging her to take him back, and that Toyah must have found one of his letters. On location in London, we see Toyah get out of a van with the driver telling her "watch yourself now, you're in the wicked metrollops". On a run down council estate full of flats with boarded up windows, and burned out cars in the street, a strange man opens his front door to Toyah after she tells him she's his daughter and has nowhere to sleep for the night.
Well, that's all for this week folks.
Glenda :-)
Hello and good evening. This is the very last Coronation Street weekly update I'll send to you as an employed person. After working non-stop, full time, for the last 19 years since leaving school at 15 years old, I am (voluntarily) leaving my job at the University of Durham on Friday this week. Oh, there'll be tears, there'll be beers and there'll be a surprise party I'm not supposed to know anything about (but I do, ha ha!). Come September 21st, however, I will become a well aged pupil (aka mature student). Yes, I'm entering full time education and starting a 3 year degree in Media and Cultural Studies at Sunderland University. In the meantime, I'm moving house and giving my life a bit of a clean-out and something of a tidy-up and come Christmas I should be as happy and sparkling as the fairy on the tree, although perhaps with better dress sense. Or maybe not. Anyway, even if you weren't interested in hearing about my life being shaken inside out, upside down, doing the hokey kokey and having a turn around, I thought I'd go on about it anyway. It's an updater's perogative.
Anyway, enough already! On with the business we came here for with our red wine and our white cheese with orange bits in it. This week's update includes the one-hour special, filmed on location in London.
Last week we left Toyah on the doorstep of a strange man in London, announcing to him that she is his long lost daughter. Strange bloke invites Toyah in and she's as happy as Larry thinking she's found her dad. Care in the community obviously doesn't work dawn sarf - this bloke is a real nut case but it takes Toyah longer to figure that one out than the millions of viewers who are shouting at their TV screens "Run, Toyah, Run!". Anyway, while all this is going on, Les and Janice are besides themselves with worry and head for London to find their daughter. Janice finds her ex-husband Ronnie Clegg "Useless Dreg" and she's wondering why Toyah isn't with him. Ronnie tells Janice he moved to his present house only 2 years ago and suggests that Toyah might have gone to his old flat, where he remembers some complete nutter, called Neil, is living now. Off Les and Janice go to Ronnie's old flat to find Neil the nutter. By this time, he's got Toyah bound and gagged in the living room but denies ever seeing Toyah when Janice questions him at his front door. With Les and Janice out of the way, Neil the nutter drags Toyah to a wood where he no doubt intends to do more to her than point out interesting tree species. Fortunately, she manages to run away and hide >from him. Anyway, all's well that end's well and in the police station, Toyah is finally reunited with Les and Janice. There are hugs, tears and Les gets all protective and father-like. Back home on the Street, Les apologises to Ken for thumping him the other week, and more private tuition is agreed on for Toyah. Toyah gets a phone call >from her cousin who is going to Ibiza with a group of girls, but one of them has dropped out as she's gone into labour, and she's wondering if Toyah wants to go instead. Janice and Les raise the money, eventually, to send Toyah on a well deserved holiday.
Will they? Won't they? Well, it doesn't look like they will, after all. Rita rings Mavis to tell her about the forthcoming nuptials and we overhear her on the phone telling Mavis ".. yes, I know you think he's a devious little twit, so do I, at times...". Alec overhears Rita on the phone and isn't best pleased. A great scene between Alec and Rita in the back room of the Rovers, discussing ways they can keep the cost of the wedding down. A bargain here, a cut there, no buffet here, no new wedding outfits there. They even start to wonder if they should bother getting married at all, and in the end, agree it's a waste of time and decide to live together instead. Rita isn't so sure about moving in with Alec so he comes up with a plan to put a doorway in the dividing wall between their flats so they can have their own independence with friendship only a door away, as it were. Alec gets a little man in called Pat to give them a quote and Rita isn't too sure about this plan at all. "Oh come on, " says Alec. "It's not like you're giving up sovereignty, after all". Pat reminds Alec he'll need planning permission to put a doorway in the dividing wall and Alec assures him it's all taken care of, which of course, it isn't. Alec tells Rita his plans for the Rovers and confides that he really wants to get rid of Jack and Vera and have himself and Rita running the pub. Wise old Rita suggests to Vera that she gets something in writing from Alec regarding the new arrangements and threatens Alec not to be so devious and underhand in his business dealings with the Duckworths.
Greg and Sally are caught snogging, yes snogging, in the factory. And who catches them at it? Kevin! He changes the locks and won't let Sally into the house, refusing to let her see the girls. Oh, he's hurt and oh he's angry, and oh, he's only got himself to blame after running after that Natalie one last year. Anyway, in the Rovers, Kevin throws his drink all over Greg and tells him he's only interested in Sally because of her money. Sally gives Greg a cheque for £12,500 for their new "business venture". Greg and Sally meet with a solicitor, who is probably a friend of Greg's and he acts as if he's looking after Sally's interests, but from the gleam in Greg's eye, you know she'll lose her money, lose her kids, lose her husband and eventually, lose the plot, if she hasn't done so already. Kick him in the trousers now Sal, you know you'll want to do it in a week's time when you find out the truth.
So, now that Greg is with Sally, he tells Maxine it's all over and tells her about Sally. Maxine can't quite believe what she's hearing. She storms in the factory and in front of all the girls there, lets them know about Sally and Greg. Word spreads, of course, and when Rita finds out about it, she can't believe it. She confronts Sally and is very, very disappointed in her. Janice Battersby is also quick to point out Greg's shortcomings to Sally, and tells her she needs her head examined for giving up Kevin and the girls for Greg.
What was a quiet lunch together for Fiona and Steve without baby Morgan, soon turns into a slanging match between them both and Fiona storms off in a huff. Steve goes back to the salon to see if she's turned up there but there's no one there except Maxine. Anyway, Steve and Max go to the Rovers, Max needs someone to moan to about Greg, and he listens and moans about Fiona. The two of them end up going back to the salon as Max has left her purse there. In the salon, before you know it, well, there are knowing looks, drunken smiles and snogging lips and as he leads her up the stairs to the flat he shares with Fiona, I don't think I need to point out (but I'll do it anyway) there'll be bed springs creaking and bodily fluids exchanged. Eeuch.
So, just what is Anne Malone up to then? The letter arrives at Freshco, addressed to Norman Watts. It's an extortion letter demanding £50,000 to be delivered in cash and threatens poison and contamination of food in the store if the money isn't delivered. Curly, daft as he is, asks Anne's opinion on what he should do with the letter. She's all for bringing in the police but he decides not to and waits to see if another letter arrives. It does. At first, Curly accuses Spider of writing the letter, but we know he'd never do anything like that, don't we? (Well, I know!) The police are called in and they aren't best pleased with Curly for not calling them in sooner when the first letter was received, and accuse him of not caring about the welfare and safety of the public. Anne smiles that demonic smile she keeps specially for scenes with Curly and Curly just looks bewildered, as usual.
And that is just about that for this week's update. Oh, I forgot, so I did. Jim gets a twinge in his leg. Michael the physiotherapist tells him not to get too hopeful, it could be phantom pains or something. But, this being Coronation Street, we all know full well it will just be a matter of, oh, say, 6 episodes before Jim is up there doing the can-can on the Rovers bar with the best of them.
Written by a soon-to-be ex-employee, Glenda :-)
http://www.dur.ac.uk/~dlc4gy
(take a look at the web page now before it disappears forever!)
Before I start, I should clear up some confusion after last week's update. I've had a shed load of email from people saying they're sorry I won't be doing the weekly updates any more. In last week's update, I wrote "this is the last weekly update you'll receive from me as an employed person", but it's not the end of the weekly updates themselves. I'm still here, still writing the updates, just no longer employed. I would also like to use this update to say thank you to everyone who emailed me with good wishes. So, that over with, I start University next week and I'm spending this week in a weird sort of limbo, let's call it preparation for student life. I've had quite a busy week so far. Yes, I've, well, you know, bought a satchel, read a bit, opened a student bank account to get a free 4 year railcard. And then I, um, read a bit more, oh, had lunch with me mam today (she sends everyone her love by the way and threatens to do another update soon) and then I thought I'd be organised for next week so bought a bag of 25 pens for 99p only to find that 12 of them came to bits on use, 4 didn't work at all, and 3 leaked all over my new satchel. I had a hair cut this week too, only to be screamed at by the 15 year old who was cutting my hair when I told him I was going to start a degree course next week. "Eeeehh!! That's great!" he said. "Now, I'm not saying you're old or owt like, but I think it's wonderful when people your age decide to do something new". I would have clipped him round the ear, if I'd been a bit younger. Anyway, on with this week's Coronation Street update.
Things go downhill fast and quite nastily after last week's rumpeh pumpeh between Steve and Maxine. Fiona, blissfully unaware of the sexual malarkey, asks Steve to marry her and to adopt little Morgan as his own. He says yes, and it's snogahula. Anyway, Maxine, saddled with guilt, goes to see Fiona and tells her the truth about her and Steve. Steve denies everything and Fiona doesn't know quite whom to believe. Steve tells Maxine to go back to Fiona, to deny what happened and tell Fiona she'd been lying when she really told her the truth (you following this?). He tells Maxine she must cover up what happened if she wants to both stay friends with Fiona and keep her job. So, Maxine goes back to the salon and tells Fiona she lied about her and Steve but Fiona sacks her anyway and tells her not to come back. So, while Fiona is out at the baby clinic, Maxine returns to the salon to tell Fiona that she was telling the truth in the first place. With Fiona out of the way, she goes upstairs to talk to Steve and the pair of them argue, he wants Maxine to keep quiet so he doesn't lose Fiona and she wants to tell the truth in an attempt to keep her friend. In the flat, they're both arguing and Steve opens the door to throw Maxine out... only to find Fiona - she'd been listening to every word.
Jim's having a few more twinges in his leg, so he is. His therapist tells him not to get too excited about it though. Jim and Liz chat about becoming grandparents when Steve adopts Morgan and there's quite a grizzly sort of scene with Jim telling Liz she'll be a glamorous granny. The nation shuddered.
The Freshco fiasco continues. Ann sends another letter, hinting at dark things in pickled beetroot. Curly finds the opened jar of beetroot on the shelf and there's glass in it (which Ann has placed, of course). Anyway, after the police intervene and there's a silly episode about "Operation Crustacean" it all ends up with Curly getting arrested when the police find the book (returned to Curly's book shelf by Ann) that's been used for sending the extortion letters. But fear not, the intrepid threesome - Alma, Aunty Em and (of course) the lovely Spider - are on the case. Alma overhears Ann telling the police that Curly harassed her and other general untrue things, so Ann becomes suspect number one. Curly sends Alma a letter saying he knows that Ann is trying to frame him, and there's nothing he can do to prove otherwise, so he's done the only thing a man can do under these circumstances - he's run away. In the Freshco office, Curly calls Alma but Ann comes into the room so Alma cuts the call short and later does a 1471-3 to call back the number. Unfortunately, Curly doesn't answer it. It's a public phone box at Manchester Airport. Ann announces to Alma that she's going to work at another store for a couple of weeks. It's a fit up gov. Send her down. Oh, and feed her up while you're at it. She still looks positively anorexic.
Now that Jack and Vera are employees of Alec's at the Rovers, they're being pedantic about time keeping and whatnot. This is causing Alec no end of frustration until he starts making notes in his little book - if they're going to work to rule, then he's going to pay them accordingly. Vera complains that the central heating pump has broken down in the Rovers. "Well, get your Jack to fix it!" says Alec. "Jack?" says Vera "What would he know about old boilers?" "I would have thought plenty, after being married to you", he replies.
Kev refuses to let Sally see the girls and she's really fretting about it. She mistakenly thinks that Greg's solicitor is working on gaining her access to her children, but you can tell that having 2 kids around, quiet little baked-bean angels that they are, is the last thing on Greg's mind. Rita offers Sally support this week, but she's still disappointed and tells Sally she must put the needs of her children before anything else.
The hole in the wall between Rita and Alec's flat is still a hole in the wall. Pat the builder has gone AWOL leaving behind torn wallpaper, loose concrete and a heck of a mess. Oh, and a hole in the wall. Rita hides the hole with a curtain as a temporary measure to divide her flat from Alec's and thinks the two of them should have some rules about privacy and the entrance to each other's flat. "A bolt? What do you want a door bolt for?" asks Alec. "Well..." she replies "I wouldn't want to be thrusting myself on yer willy nilly". Oh, I did chuckle. Anyway, Alec decides to finish the job himself and ends up spraining his ankle when he falls. Rita summons help from Martin and Jack who come up to the flat and wonder what on earth is going on. Rita has a conversation with Jack, for some reason, about bromide in tea. "Aye, they used to do that in the army to us, put bromide in our tea, to stop urges, like". "Did it work?" asks Rita. "No, not then, but it's starting to now!". Martin and Jack take Alec back to the Rovers to dust him off and rest his leg and of course, tongues starts wagging when news of the connecting flats gets all over the place. "It was just a bit of D.I.Y." says Alec. "Sounds more like S.E.X. to me" replies Vera.
And that is just about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
Well, here we are again. If you remember, a few weeks ago I let my mother script the weekly update in her own inimitable, tell-it-like-it-is style. She's had a flood of email, well, I've had a flood of email addressed to her, asking her to write another update soon. So, back by popular demand, here she is, me mam. As with last time, she's here with me in my spare room at home (which I grandly call 'the study' but it is really the spare room that houses my computer and the ironing board). I've just opened a bottle of something red and fruity and as I write this intro, she's pouring two glasses of it for us while we spend the next hour or so writing this update. She'll read to me from her notes (yes, she's made notes this time) and I'll type her words, verbatim. Where I add something myself (I'll put it in brackets like this so you'll know it's me speaking). So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, here she is again, that lady of a certain age, Mrs Joan Young, me mam.
"Am I on now? Am I pet? Yes, yes, got me notes here, hang on, I'll just pop me glasses on so I can read me writing. You know I was late for the ladies club on Friday night pet to stay in and watch Coronation Street, I hope they appreciate it. Oh, you're not writing that are you? What? You're writing everything I say? Can I smoke in here pet? Well I'm not going out to the garden like last time, I bet you never put that in the update, did you? Made me go out into the garden for a ciggie everyone, she did. (me: Mam, that top looks new) What? Well, you know, I thought I'd do this professionally, you know, look the part with me notes and all that. Yes, yes, I know, hang on, I'll just have a sip of wine then I'll start.
Right, what's first then? I suppose the main story was the Fiona and Steve thing, wasn't it? He's a no good for nothing isn't he? And that Maxine, well, she's all vogue on the outside and vague on the inside. Anyway, Fiona throws him out of the flat and he takes off down to London but while he's away, Jim goes to see Fiona and waffles on about his son being a good lad, well, he would really, any parent would. But I tell you, I wouldn't have that scumbag in my house. So, Fiona tells Jim that it was Steve what pushed him off the scaffolding. Well, he doesn't want to believe her of course, and then Liz goes to see Fiona, annoyed she had told Jim the truth. Steve swans back from London, doesn't he? walks right in his dad's kitchen, helps himself to a beer and acts like nothing's the matter. Steve threatens Fiona in the street for telling Jim and the whole thing's a right old mess so Fiona decides to leave Weatherfield. Mind you, I saw her in the nuddy on the front of the TV Times this week and I don't think we need to see that sort of thing in Coronation Street, do you pet?
Hang on a bit pet, I'm still trying to read me notes here, I can't even read me own writing, what's this? Silly and Grog... ha ha... (me: oh no, she's cackling) ha ha... ha ha.. Sally and Greg!! I thought it said.. what pet? Do you want me to do this my way or not then? Well just be quiet and pour us another glass of wine. Well, Sally wants to see her kids, I mean, that's natural enough, the poor girl's not allowed to see her own children, that's terrible, really it is. That Greg one is up to no good either, he doesn't want the children around but Sally can't see what he's really like. He's a bad un. Kevin needs to find a babysitter so he asks that old slapper doesn't he? Who? Natalie, that's her. He asks Natalie and then Sally gets all upset when she sees her little girl with her. One of the children stay with Sally and Greg for tea but ends up pouring her pop all over his computer. It's all a bit daft really isn't it?
(we've just had a bit of a break as my phone just rang then and it was CP Turner, the Wednesday updater. He rang for a bit of a chat about his love life and some advice on his begonias. Mam and CP don't know each other so I put her on the phone to him). (me: What did you think of CP, then mam?) What a lovely boy he was, really lovely Glenda. He was telling me all about his mother and her trip to Lourdres, mind, she sounds a martyr to her bunions. She's lucky to have a nice boy like that, is he married then pet? What pet? Who is? CP is? Is he really? Well, live and let live, that's what I always say, and I bet *his* carpets couldn't do with a good hoover like some I could mention).
Pour us another glass of wine then pet, what? Two glasses, I've only had two so far, pet. Can I have another cigarette then pet? Well open the bloody window if it bothers you so much, it was you what asked me to come here to do this, remember. So, what else happened this week then? I can't remember much can you? It was all Sally and Greg, Fiona and Steve wasn't it? Oh, Curly's still missing but Alma and whatshisname, that scruff pot, aye, Spider, they're onto the case and are going to go after that Anne to find out what's going on. What pet? You don't do you? Fancy Spider? But he's a bloody mess, lass! A bit of rough? I don't think you can beat a smartly dressed chap in a suit and tie. That Alf, he's always smart. Oh aye, so what else happened, I've got no more notes here, I'm just trying to remember off the top of me head. Jack and Vera have opened a joint bank account, but we're not sure what the point of that was all about yet except Jack wants to put a thousand pounds on a bet without Vera knowing.
So I think that's it, have I done alright again pet? I like doing these updates you know. Oh, here she is!! Me bairn!! (me: the dog has just come into the room). Who's me baby? Who's grandma's little girl? Who's Joan's sweetheart? Ahhh, give us a hug Sophie, give us a hug. Oh Glenda, do you ever bath this dog? She bloody stinks, get your tongue out of me ear Sophie, there's a good girl. Sit! Sit! Sit Sophie, sit! Sit! Does she sit, Glenda? Why I thought you went to dog training classes didn't you? Well that was a waste of twenty five quid then wasn't it? I don't care if she used to sit in class, she's not doing it now, is she. Who's grandma's girl? Who's me bairn? Our Sophie, what a love, give us a hug you big softie, who's me bairn?
(me: Well, I think that's it for this week. Thanks to me mam for the last hour's worth of update and thanks to Sophie the smelly dog for getting all the love and attention while all I got was a ticking off about not having hoovered carpets).
Glenda :-)
Well, another week over and another update due. I was going to rattle on a bit here like I normally do, but I'm tired, it's late, and besides which, the cat is running round the room, jumping and hanging on to the dog's coat whilst spitting in its eyes and trying to claw its nose off. I have to keep getting out of my chair to seperate them both, and it wasn't making for a very fluent introduction, so I scrapped it and you're left with what you've got now. Anyway, as I said, it's late and it's been a heck of a week with settling into Uni life - so tiring - I have to go in for 2 whole hours tomorrow! so on with the update. If you're reading this and heading for Blackpool this weekend for the Coronation Street Bash, well, I'll see you there and if you're at the bar before me, mine's a pint of Guinness. Oh, and I didn't see last Wednesday's episode and haven't had time to check the CSVU, so I'm afraid I'm only covering 3 episodes here.
Well, Fiona and baby Morgan left this week. A tearful Maxine comes to the salon to say goodbye to her friend, but Fiona's not having any of it and tells her to leave. Fi goes into the Rovers to say goodbye to everyone, but as Steve is at the bar, she's in and out of there as quick as you like and away in a taxi with her mother and the baby. And that's it, the wee girl has gone, so she has. So, the salon looks set to become Audrey's unisex health and beauty emporium. Fred Elliot offers to raise the cash and become her business partner - "Pies or perms, they're all the same to me" he says. However, Audrey is wary of Fred's 'hands on' approach to business, when he tells her "in this partnership, there'll be ups and downs, mind!". Audrey tells Alf, who goes to the bank and says he'll put the money into the salon instead and help out by doing the books. Fred's peeved, of course, he tells Audrey she's a ruthless business woman and storms out of the salon.
Sally and Kev argue throughout this week, with a stand up slanging match in the street between Greg, Sally and Kevin. When Kev tells Sally he's going to get a child minder to look after the girls, she takes them from the minder earlier than Kevin, and holds them hostage in her flat while Greg force-feeds baked beans to Kevin. No, of course this didn't happen, but by God, it would be a heck of a lot more exciting if it did. Rita tries to have a word with Sally, tries to warn her about Greg but Sally turns the tables saying "Did I tell you what to do about Alan Bradley?" Ouch. Let this be a warning to all those going to Blackpool this weekend - watch out for those trams.
Jack takes £1,200 from Vera and his joint building society account, and loses it all on the dog races in the betting shop. When she finds out, she plays merry hell, but by this time, he's won it all back again. She whips the winnings out of his hand, and tells him she's withdrawn all the money from the account and deposited it in another account in her sole name so Jack can't get his hands on it. Oh, and she wants a holiday in Tenerife.
Des tells Natalie they've been invited, as a couple, to his brother's wedding in Hartlepool. (Let's just hope he doesn't make a monkey out of himself). Also, another quick shot of a couple we haven't seen in a while - Judy is nesting in her front room while all Gary wants to do is bash around on his drum kit. More red wine shenanigans this week between Liz and physio Michael. Who knows where that will lead? (Well, I do, I heard it on the radio that she runs off with Michael and leaves Jim later this year, the tart).
Oh, some lovely scenes this week between Roy and Hayley. With a bit of encouragement from Gail, Roy finally picks up the courage to ask Hayley to move into his flat with him, "...you'll be no inconvenience" he tells her. So, with her bags packed, she arrives in the cafe and off they go upstairs together. Hayley, resplendent in new frilly nightie and dressing gown, is expecting she and Roy to share the only bed in the flat. Roy, however, has other plans and sleeps on the fold-out bed in the living room. Roy tells Hayley he believes they should marry first before taking the relationship any further, and on bended knee, proposes to Hayley. However, she has to turn him down. It's against the law for transsexuals to marry. The next night, Roy turns down the lights and cooks a meal in the flat, accompanied by a bottle of red wine - a lovely touch - it had a screw top. Anyway, with 'The Lady in Red' then 'Natural Woman' playing in the background, Roy admits he doesn't have much experience in the ways of, you know, in fact he doesn't have any experience and had been to the library earlier that day to look for a book on the subject. Hayley, relieved, tells Roy that she also doesn't have any experience of, you know. Roy pipes up "Well, if niether of us know what we're doing, then we won't know if we're doing it wrong, will we?" And with that, he leads Hayley by the hand, to the bedroom.
And that is just about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
