I can't start this week's update without a quick mention about the weekend I spent in Blackpool with friends old and new from the Coronation Street newsgroup (rec.arts.tv.uk.coronation-st) and from the IRC channel #coro_street. I'm dedicating this update to all the people who were at Blackpool last weekend, it was a very special couple of days, topped off by meeting, in the flesh, old Derek Wilton himself (Peter Baldwin) when he joined us for a drink on Saturday afternoon. Photographers from the Coronation Street magazine were there and we'll be featured soon. Friday night's episode was watched surrounded by friends in the lounge of the hotel we stayed in, something I'll never forget. Anyway, without any further ado, on with this Week's Coronation Street update.
Roy and Hayley eventually spend the night together in the same room (and the same bed!). The next morning at breakfast they're discussing everything about the previous light - curtains, duvets, sunlight coming through the window - everything except what they really want to know "How was it for you" The Roy and Hayley scenes are lovely, They really are, very subtle. Roy suggests they go away for a long weekend so Hayley says she'll ask Mr Baldwin for time off. Later in the Rovers, Mike lays into Roy about his weekend away with Hayley, asking Roy if somewhere like Thailand wouldn't more appropriate to take Hayley and calls her "a freak". (By this time the lounge of the Royal Glen Hotel, Blackpool, were up in arms!). Roy quietly suggests that Mike should step outside and when he refuses, Roy throws a pint of beer in Baldwin's face! (and a loud cheer went up from us all). Hayley goes to see Mike in his office, to ask him, please, not to cause a fuss, all she wants to do is live a normal life. But when Mike makes remarks about her "having her wedding tackle cut off" you know he's going to remain the bigoted little prat he always was and nothing will ever change him. Roy and Hayley ask Gail and Martin for supper again. They accept, and then Roy suggests it should be a weekly thing, one week at the cafe, next week at the Platt's place. Gail and Martin are less enthusiastic.
Jack and Vera are off on holiday to Tenerife. Jack doesn't want to go, he tries to get Alec to make up an excuse why he's not allowed out of the Rovers. Alec is curious, why wouldn't Jack want to go on holiday with his missus? "Because our Vera gets all frisky" he says, shuddering. Now Alec knows the truth, he absolutely insists that Jack spend time with Vera, and wishes Jack 2 weeks of connubial bliss. Steve tells Audrey that he owns a thousand pounds worth of fixtures and fittings in the salon, and wants his cash, now. Audrey, unsure what to do, asks Fred's advice. Fred knows that Steve is up to no good and has a quiet word with him. He gently reminds him that Audrey is on the planning committee of the council and it Wouldn't do him any good to go upsetting a member of the planning committee now, would it, not when He's a builder. (A great little scene). Steve apologises to Audrey and tells her not to worry about the money. Fred has a moan to Audrey about not being her love interest. "Fred" she says "You're my hero, my champion, and that's better than being my husband, any day". (I love lines like that.)
Sally goes to pick up some clothes for the girls from the house and Kevin isn't best pleased to see her. As she's upstairs packing some clothes, Kev prowls around the dining room table in a strop. By the time Sally comes downstairs, he's prowled himself into a really bad strop and takes it out on her, throwing Sally on to the chair. Sally breaks free and rings Rita to ask for help before running out into the street, away from Kevin who seems to have finally snapped and gone a bit mad. Anyway, Rita comes out and asks Sally what on earth's the matter. Sally tells her about Kevin throwing her down, and all Rita can do is more or less say she deserves what she gets for leaving her kids. Ha'way! I mean, no one said this to Kevin when he jumped into Natalie's knickers, did they? What's this then, one rule for Kevin(it's okay to have an affair and leave your kids) and one rule for Sally (it's not)? Anyway, Sally tells Gail that Greg is wonderful, Greg is kind, and Greg has £12,000 of her money. Concerned, Sally tells Rita. Doncha just love gossip?
Gary decides he's going to have a bash at being a proper drummer instead of just bashing the things to bits in the front room. Off he goes to his audition where he's told to play a "standard funk beat" which throws him completely - if it's not Purple Haze he can't play it. And as for sixteenths, crotches, wotsists and quavers, he's lost it. He hits the stick things up and down a bit on the drums, realises he can't play for toffee and decides to sell his drum kit.
Someone after a "standard funk beat" of his own is Dobber. Now then, who's Dobber? - you may well ask. Well, Toyah comes home from her holiday with the girls, announcing to Les that she's met this lad on holiday who was really great like and she can't wait to see him again. Les humours her, until she tells him that this Dobber lad lives close by so she really will be seeing him again soon. (Now I always thought a dobber was that wooden stick thing you used in gardening, but as I found out in Blackpool this weekend, apparently that's a dibber). Anyway, Dobber seduces our young Toyah, ladies and gentlemen and she deserves better, she really does. He's a bad `un alright. On the day she arrives back from holiday he picks her up in his car and drives her somewhere quiet. Our young girl Toyah becomes a woman in the back seat of a rusty Ford Escort. Leanne, horrified to hear what's happened, tells her sister to get the `morning after' pill from the doctors quick-sharp like, which she does. In the cafe, Dobber wants a free meal but the cafe is closing up, he demands a tenner from the till instead, which Toyah steals for him.
Ken Barlow recognises Dobber in the cafe and warns Janice that he's trouble. Toyah takes Dobber home to meet the folks. "Dobber?" says Janice "You sound like a horse". "At least I don't look like one!" he replies. Les throws him out. For Toyah though, love is blind and first love is everything so I think we'll be seeing young Dobber again. (I remember the first lad I ever went out with - he'd pick me up in his customised "Starsky and Hutch" striped car that had a musical horn which played the same tune as the one from the "Dukes of Hazard". It was quite exciting at the time).
This update's quite long so far, isn't it? Anyway, on with the rest. Alma and the lovely Spider devise a plan to help their friend, Curly. Spider says he'll have a word with Anne and convinces her that Curly does in fact fancy Anne, that he loves her and always has done but just didn't get around to saying it. Anne believes him and says she wants to clear Curly's name too. She says she knows who wrote those letters and who framed Curly - it was Alma! Anne is clearly mad (and still too thin).
Natalie and Des, back from his brother's wedding, are all lovey dovey (like you get after a wedding - must be all that free booze). Anyway, this week saw Natalie move into Des' house, bringing with her some personal things, a lamp and some womanly bits and pieces to put around the place. A comfy sofa and some decent curtains would've come in useful too.
And finally, Liz and Jim go out together for a romantic meal, so they do. In the restaurant Liz is given the glad eye (I love that expression) from this bloke in the corner. When Jim goes out to the toilet, the bloke comes over to speak to Liz but she turns him away, saying she's a happily married woman, thank you very much. Jim sees Liz being chatted up by the stranger, loses his temper and flies into a rage. Liz tells him he's just the same person underneath it all, ruining everything he touches - always did and always will. Well, that's him told then.
And that's that for this week.
Glenda :-)
In all the years I've been writing the Coronation Street Updates, this week is a first for me. No, it's not the first time I'm writing the update sober (who said that?) nor the first time I'm sitting here writing the update whilst not nibbling on bits of cheese, crackers or toast. Neither is it the first time I've not got pomegranate seeds wedged in between the keyboard keys. Quite simply, and for reasons too humdrum to explain, this is the first Coronation Street weekly update written on a laptop computer. There, told you it was humdrum, didn't I? In fact, this is the first time I've ever used a laptop computer in my life. With it's funny little LSD screen and tiny, tiny keyboard, it's like using a child's toy (without any music, dalmatians or yo- yo's attached, obviously). The keys aren't where I expect them to be, so used am I to typing on a full size keyboard, that I'm making so many mistakes using this, this paragraph alone has taken me 15 minutes to type up. Mind you, that could have something to do with the Bulgarian that's keeping me company as I write. He's a frisk, fruity little sweet thing, easy on the eye and sweet on the palate. Anyway, without further ado, here is this week's Coronation Street update.
Well, you don't get many weeks like this week on the Street. Death! Marriage! Heartache! A(nother) fight in the Rovers! And so, off we go. (I hate this tiny keyboard with a vengeance).
Alma and the lovely Spider continue with their plans to get Curly off the hook by trying to prove that it was Anne who set Curly up. Spider and Alma hatch Mission Impossible - Weatherfield style, and decide the only way to prove Anne is guilty is to capture her on videotape which they'll hand over to the police. All goes well with Alma videotaping Anne and Spider talking about Curly, until the Freshco security guard finds Alma in the office with the VCR and throws her out. Drat. Now for Plan B. Next day Alma gets the videotape but Anne comes into the office and demands the tape from her. Alma puts a notice on the VCR saying "out of order and leaves the office. However, poor Alma gets the boot - Anne sacks her! Back at Freshco, much later, Anne calls the security guard and tells him she wants him to patrol the front of the store, and that she's leaving the office. But, instead of going home, Anne puts on her rubber gloves and carrying some sort of spray in a canister (chemicals? paint? I wasn't sure what it was) she goes into the cold store of the supermarket and starts spraying frozen food. It looks like she's trying to cause more chaos in the store to blame on Alma in her warped way of trying to get Curly off the hook. Meanwhile, the security guard, who by this time fancies a cold beer courtesy of Freshco, helps himself to a can which is part of a load kept outside the cold store. He notices the door to the cold store is open, so he locks it - with Anne inside!! And of course, he didn't see Anne go into the cold store as she had turned off the VCR and stuck her "out of order note on it, hadn't she? The lovely Spider had arranged to meet Anne at the store to talk about Curly, later that evening. He arrives at Freshco and pushes past the security guard at the front of the store, and runs, oddly enough, straight to the cold store where he notices a light, indicating that there's someone inside. The lovely Spider and the security guard pull open the door, but it's too late. Anne has frozen to death! A chilling (and rather sillly) end for the Street's very own Ice Queen. Alma is asked to be the temporary manager at Freshco, but she turns the job down after realising she was asked only because of her discretion about the Curly / Anne thing and not because of her abilities. She tells Mike and he laughs off the job offer, telling Spider "she'd have fallen flat on her face! if she'd taken the job. With support like that from her husband, it makes Alma realise she should have taken the job after all, for Curly's sake, if nothing else.
Love's young dream is still riding around the street in his rusty Ford Escort, or whatever it is and Toyah thinks he's just topper. He tells Toyah he wants another £40 from the cafe till but Toyah refuses. However, she keeps money given to her by Ken when he pays for his meal in the cafe and takes money from Les and Janice to give to Dobber. Gail and Roy both realise the till was short of money last week and Gail has a quiet word with Toyah, telling her to keep her mind on her work.
Roy and Hayley invite Gail and Martin for dinner and all goes well. That is, until Martin starts a conversation about "the things you see in hospital... all sorts of things, you can't believe your eyes. An uncomfortable few minutes for Hayley but fortunately the subject changes.
At the hair salon, Maxine is doing her best to impress Audrey when she finds out that Audrey is going to recruit another assistant. Does this mean Maxine will be out of a job? Well, Audrey has already referred to Maxine as a flibbertigibbet this week, so who knows? (And I've never heard that word used outside of the Sound of Music!). Audrey explains to Fred all about her management plan. The right way to treat employees, she says, is to use "the mushroom theory - keep them in the dark and feed them, er, muck. She also tells Fred about her "advance super saver hair cut she was going to offer the pensioners. The theory behind this, she says, is that when pensioners go away for the day on the train, they need to buy an advance super saver rail ticket, and the very thought would remind them they needed their advance super saver blue rinse to go with it. She'll go far, that Audrey will, I can see it already.
Jim's physio Michael takes Jim to a seminar. While Jim is out, Michael returns to the house to see Liz and to cut a long story short, they end up snogging and before you know it, Liz wants to leave Jim and run away with Michael. And there was one horrible scene with Liz in a very short skirt with her legs pointing to camera and you could sort of see her knickers. I had to look away at this point, I really did. Even the cat threw up.
Judy arrives back to find Gary decorating the nursery. She's even more surprised to see he's been out and bought a twin cot. When Gary tells her he bought them with the money he raised by selling his drum kit, well she's really chuffed with him, and they have a big snog.
Sally's moved the girls into the flat with her, and is less than happy when Greg returns, not best pleased to find the girls in his flat. In fact, he's really cheesed off. A great scene with Sally telling the girls "now girls.... and in unison they chorus "we know, go to our rooms. Sally scolds little Sophie and the look on that child's face just about broke my heart. She has got to be the cutest, bestest little actress in the whole wide world. Greg steals some computer files from Baldwin's PC and Sally doesn't feel right about it.
Oh yes, I promised you marriage, heartache and a fight in the Rovers, didn't I? Well, here we go. Des asks Nat to marry him, and she accepts. Kevin finds out and old passions and jealousies raise their ugly, bearded head. In the Rovers, Kevin isn't in a good mood after finding out about Natalie and loses his temper with Greg and Sally when they come in for a quiet drink. Kevin tells Natalie she's doing the wrong thing, marrying Des, and asks her to marry him instead! Angry and drunk, Kevin is finally carted out of the Rovers by Alec and Baldwin (ok, so it wasn't a fight, but it was as close as we came this week). As Mike throws Kevin out onto the street, he calls him a loser. "Oh, I'm a loser, am I? says Kev - and then proceeds to tell Mike all about Greg and Sally's plan to take Mike's business and start up on their own. As Kev staggers home, Mike stands outside the Rovers and you just know there'll be hell to pay next week.
And that's that for this week. Strangely enough I've become so used to this toytown keyboard since I started writing the update 20 minutes ago, I don't think I could ever go back to a normal one again!
Bye for now
Glenda :-)
Well, I've just spent the last 4 hours doing a second draft of the first essay I've written since I was 15 years old. My problem now is how on earth do I condense 4,500 words of my best prose and referenced quotations to the 1,000 words needed? Help! I'm taking a break from study to write the weekly update and I'll ponder the essay question again after a tea and chocolate biscuit break - ah, such is the life of a student. Anyway, it's been a cracker of a week on the Street, so I'll just jump straight in with this week's Coronation Street update.
Roy and Hayley have dominated the week's events in a bitter sweet storyline. I always know when something has upset my mother cos she always sucks in air through her teeth and makes that awful "zzzzssst noise. Well, I found myself doing that this week quite a lot while watching the Street, usually just before uttering "Oh Roy! or "Oh Hayley!. Baldwin spends much of this week picking on Hayley at work and the other girls just can't figure out what he's up to. In the Rovers he greets Roy and Hayley at the bar with "evenin, lads! and bellows out "Patterson! to Hayley across the factory floor. Hayley, certain that Mike is going to tell the girls what he knows about her, decides to tell them herself. Roy is against her plan, he wants her to keep quiet - after all, what will it do to him when people find out he "can't find a real woman? (zssst - Oh Roy!). Well, Hayley comes right out with it and tells the girls in the factory that she's a transsexual. Only Liz McDonald shows any concern for Hayley's feelings, the others, including Janice, make jokes and one ratbag, Linda, refuses to let Hayley use the ladies toilet, calling her a pervert (zsst - Oh Hayley!). Baldwin tells her just to use the gents loo so the girls will go back to work (zssst) but Hayley refuses, rightly so. Word spreads, as it does around Coronation Street, and now everyone knows about Hayley. Only Alma (who, by the way, looked extra gorgeous this week - I hope I look that good when I'm her age - oh, who am I kidding, I wish I looked that good now) and Gail and Martin "You'll always be my favourite couple says Gail "come round to us anytime for supper (funny how she wasn't that keen the other week...) and Liz (to some extent) are being supportive. Toyah wants to be supportive to Roy and Hayley but seems a bit confused. Les is proving true to type - being downright ignorant and rude, and unfortunately, telling all and sundry exactly what he feels about Hayley being "a fella in a dress with his tackle chopped off. Roy is less concerned with everyone's reaction to Hayley than he is to their reaction to him. Hayley asks if he wants her to move out. He thinks for a while and tells her no, he wants her to stay. If she moved out, he says, life wouldn't be worth living.
In a drunken stupour at the Rovers, Des somehow ends up asking Les Battersby to be his best man at the wedding. When Nat finds out, naturally she's not best pleased and nags Des to tell Les he's not going to be best man, but Des seems reluctant to do anything (he's scared). So, Nat goes off to see Les at home and tells him he's not wanted. Les has had a bit too much to drink and when he finds out he's not going to be best man after all, bursts into tears. It's too much for Natalie to take and she changes her mind, saying if it means that much to him, then he can be best man after all. Not the best of ways to start married life, but there you go. Alec suggests a menu for a wedding buffet in the Rovers and isn't best pleased with Natalie tells him she's having her wedding do nowhere near the Rovers.
Now that Baldwin knows about Greg and Sally's plans to take his clients and set up in business on their own, he does the only thing he's good at - he humiliates them both in front of everyone at the factory and sacks the pair of them. They move into their new office, with Greg not best pleased that Sally is refusing to invest any more of her money. Soppy Sal cleans and tidies the office for him, as requested, and he starts referring to her as his secretary. There's also a fight in the cafe between Kev and Greg, and later Sally takes the girls to the cafe for a chat with Gail, who tries to make her realise a few home truths about Greg, but will she act on the advice of her friend? Rita also tries to have a few words with Sally but she ends up walking out of Rita's flat in a strop when Rita tries to force her to see what Greg is really like. Sally - don't say you weren't warned, ladeh.
Deirdre puts in an appearance this week, lusting after physio Michael in the Rovers. However, Michael tells Jim he feels he can no longer look after him, but doesn't tell him the reason is that he's been snogging his missus. So, while Jim me laddo is thinking everything is okay but wondering why his mucker Michael has deserted him, Liz is starting to make plans for a defection any day now. And Deirdre will have to make do with a quiet night in on her own in front of the telly with a bottle of Concorde. Again.
And that's been that for this week. The Duckies came back from Tenerife too and now the whole street is full of gossip about Hayley, many of them not knowing what a transsexual actually is. Let's just hope it'll be the same learning experience for them as it's been for the millions of Street viewers who've come to love Hayley dearly.
Glenda :-)
Here we go with another week's update. It's been a bit of a slow week on the street, not slow in terms of events - there was Des and Nat's wedding for a kick off, but slow as in slow-going, it's been like wading through treacle this week watching the Street. Or perhaps that's just me feeling drawn by events at the moment. I'm using the PC upstairs at the minute as men rummage around my garage and empty my house of half its contents. But, that's a whole other story under the title "preparing to move house and wishing it was finished already". (I don't often have a moan in my update do I - so just indulge me on this one!) Anyway, on we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Well, the big story this week was of course Des and Nat's wedding. Des has his stag night in the Rovers and spends the night slumped in his seat there when he falls asleep in the bar next to Les Battersby. Next morning, Vera cooks him a fried breakfast and Jack brings him his wedding clothes from the house. At Natalie's hen party, her son Tony turns up (looking as gorgeous as ever; but purleeze, what happened to his hair?) and Maxine gets her claws into him straight away with a bit of less-than-subtle flirting. Unfortunately, it's Judy Mallett who answers the door when Tony arrives, the sight of him brings back memories of her mum's death and she leaves the party to go home. Tony isn't best pleased his mam is marrying 'that plonker' Des but hangs around at the house for a few days anyway. On the day of the wedding, Charlie West turns up with an old piece of tent, says it's a marquee and sticks it in the garden.
Martin Platt isn't too happy to see Les hammering tent posts into his lawn and tells him to bog off out of it. Anyway, Alma and Hayley grab some material and ribbons and tart up the tent a bit to make it look half decent, with Alma helping out on the food too. Somehow, after Charlie West arrived with his tent, Natalie's wedding dress gets torn as it hangs in the living room and once again, Hayley comes to the rescue to mend it. With Lorraine as bridesmaid, Des and Nat go off to the registry office to get wed. Desmond Francis Barnes and Natalie Felicity Horrocks, pronounced husband and wife, October 23rd, 1998. Back at the house and into the marquee, Les' best man's speech is done in the worst possible taste. Then Des takes the mike to give a gushy speech about his lovely bride and all that stuff. Then, heaven help us, Jim McDonald takes the mike, announces how much he loves his wife Elizabeth, so he does, and asks her to marry him again. What Jim doesn't know is that when Liz left the party to go home to get changed after Dobber spilt red wine all over her chest, she and Michael, you know, did a physio themselves back at chez McDonald. Although uninvited, Dobber did turn up at the wedding and starts eyeing up the silverware wedding presents, wondering how much of it he can slip in his pockets. He also asks Spider to get him some dope, but Spider tells him quite pointedly "I-don't-deal". "Sorry mate" says Dobber. "And I'm not your mate" the lovely Spider replies. Des and Nat go off on honeymoon to Ireland, leaving Tony to look after the house. A mate of Tony's from Leeds calls to tell him that Tony's flat has been burned down by someone he'd upset back there, so when Tony tells Maxine he's going to stick around for a few more days, she thinks it's her womanly charms that's holding him in Weatherfield, not the fact that he's just become homeless.
Despite a few comments from the girls in the factory, the furore over Hayley seemed to be quietening down. But when Les Battersby starts on Hayley in the cafe, it really upsets her and she runs upstairs to pack and move away. Roy begs her not to go, and kisses her, he feels he's let her down by not being supportive enough. Toyah's not amused by Les' attitude to Hayley, and says she thinks Les is 'a prat'.
Michael tells Jim that he's going to move away and Jim tells Liz the news. Distraught, Liz confides in Deirdre about Michael and says she feels trapped by having to look after Jim. Deirdre tells her that compassion is no substitute for love. Back at the house, Jim tells Liz how much he loves her, and off they both go out for dinner together.
In Greg and Sal's office, Greg goes out for a long business lunch so Sal brings the girls in to the office as she's got no one else to look after them. Greg isn't best pleased when he returns with his client to find the girls there. He manages to secure a large contract away from Mike Baldwin and wants to celebrate with Sally, but again, isn't happy that the girls have to tag along with them. He stays out overnight and Sally is distraught with worry, but he smooths everything over with her when he returns, saying he just had to have some time on his own to get his head sorted.
A great storyline this week was Toyah, finally starting to realise that Dobber is a bit of a prat after all. She has a few tears, wonders what's the point of men anyway, and asks Janice, "Is it normal to find them like, really, really, irritating?". (Yes, Toyah, yes). She tries to stay away from Dobber but he's not going to give in that easily somehow.
Back on the Street this week was Zoe and Ashley (and about time too!). Zoe goes for an interview for a job stacking shelves in a local supermarket but doesn't get the job. Quit a poignant scene when Zoe and Judy meet in the corner shop and talk about babies.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
