Hello folks and Happy New Year. This year I've only made one new year's resolution (and just in case she's reading this - no mam, I've not resolved to cleaning the inside of my oven, ever.). Basically, the dog now gets a monthly shampoo at the groomers, simple as that. No more will she ever be called "Smelly Sophie" (by him indoors), "Sophie stinky-poo" (by my 4 year old niece), or indeed "That ****in' stinkin' bitch" (my mother). At least, I always assumed she was talking about the dog.... Anyway, on with the show and this week's Coronation Street update.
Two of this week's episodes pretend to be New Years Eve, that all-singing, all-dancing night of the year when caution is thrown to the wind and everyone gets drunk unless they're indoors with an ill partner that particular night and the highlight of the evening is watching the Sunderland Stadium of Light bathed in the warm glow of high power floodlights which were switched on at midnight. It's true. You can actually see the Stadium of Light from the kitchen window here in the new house. You have to sit on top of the fridge and strain your head out of the window, but yes, you can see it.
So anyway, it's been a tough old week for Rita. First she sheds a few tears when Alec packs his bags and leaves the Street to head for the bright lights of Brighton with Vicky. It's true, Alec's gone. And if Rita hadn't heard Alec shuffling about behind his erection in the flat, she'd never have known he was leaving at all. She goes to the Rovers to say goodbye to him and they have a few words. He can't forgive her for telling the Duckies what he was up to and she can't forgive him for what it was he were up to in the first place. Then she sheds a few more tears when another love of her life slips off this mortal coil - Alf dies in his sleep in an armchair on New Years Eve. There he is, one minute dancing with Audrey at Nick's 18th birthday party, the next minute he's gone for a sit down and then he's gone. It was sad, I have to admit. I mean, Alf, gone. The end of a Coronation Street era. Les Battersby tells Leanne she could be in for a few bob or two now that Nick's grandad has died, but sadly, Martin finds out that Alf's term assurance expired the day before he did, and Audrey has yet to be told there's no insurance money for her, nothing.
More trouble when Greg overhears Janice in the Rovers talking to someone about the connecting door between Alec and Rita's flat. Off he goes and breaks into Alec's flat, brings down the erection to get into Rita's flat where Sally is sitting watching TV. He throws her around a bit before she runs out into the street and Nick Tilsley comes to help her. Anyway, Rita makes Sally report the assault to the police, which she does, but not before Greg does a runner from the Street after helping himself to the money kept in that tin in the Battersby household. Les won't hear a bad word against Greg and is furious with Sally for spreading lies about her son. He's even more incensed with Nick when Nick talks to the police too.
In the Rovers, Natalie tells Jack and Vera they're free to go to Blackpool to visit their grandson, but, when they return, she wants them out of the living quarters of the Rovers as she's moving in. She's selling Des' house to finance the Rovers so the Duckies have to find somewhere new to live. Jack finds the bin-bags full of clothes in the backyard of the Rovers and is disgusted to find cobwebs all over his underpants. "That were there before!" cries Vera.
Gary and Judy bring the twins home and decide to call them William and Rebecca but it's only a matter of time before Jack and Vera abbreviate the names to Billy and Becky and Judy is not best pleased.
Sally asks Kevin to see the girls more often but after the attack from Greg, Kevin is reluctant to let Sally take the girls for even one night. Sally goes to see a solicitor who tells her if she wants to fight for custody then she has to have a place of her own to live in. Kevin gets the glad-eye in the Rovers from one of the factory girls and they have a bit of a snog as the clock strikes midnight on New Years Eve. Next time they see each other in the Rovers, it's all fluttering eyelashes and coy little smiles which is a shame as it really doesn't suit Kevin at all.
Fred hands Ashley a striped butcher's hat and tells him he is now the new manager of the Freshco butcher counter which Fred has taken over. Ashley is a bit reluctant as he likes running the corner shop but Fred persuades him and tells him to get on wi'it like.
Roy has big plans for his new cafe on Coronation Street but Hayley tries to keep his feet on the ground. Having Steve McDonald contractor / builder type person is a bad sign, anyone can see that, and you'd have thought Roy would have more sense than to use him, but he is.
And that is just about that for this week. See you next week from the top of the fridge.
Glenda ;-)
Hello folks and welcome to another Coronation Street weekly update. I missed last night's episode so I sat and watched the repeat this afternoon, at home in front of the fire, with the cat purring on my shoulder and the dog fast asleep at my feet. Ah, such is the luxury of life when you're a student. Why didn't I do this years ago?! Anyway, without any further ado, here we go, here we go, here we go.
It's Alf's funeral and Les and Janice stay away to spite Martin. Audrey finds out that Alf's insurance expired at 12 midnight on December 31st and there's no way of knowing yet if Alfie passed away before midnight, or after. Cllr. Mrs. Roberts goes to see the insurance company but they just waffle on and so she's resigning herself to a life without the little luxuries that life with Alf gave her. Audrey is asked by civic leaders to take on Alf's role, and to become "Mrs" Millennium. At the funeral, Deirdre's mum makes a few tasteless remarks and Deirdre storms off, but Blanche looks like she's here to stay, for a while at least, when she returns to the Rovers saying she'd decided not to pack up and leave after all, as she'd threatened to do.
It's the tribunal for Platt vs Battersby. Les tells Janice that Alf, being their Leanne's husband's grandfather, must have pulled some square dealing strings to stop Martin getting the sack from the hospital after he tried to kill Les by giving him the drug overdose. Janice, incensed, says she's not having this and threatens to go to the police to tell all, but Les has to stop her and tell her the truth before the coppers are brought in and he's found out. Anyway, as Les and Janice are discussing what to do with the money they're likely to get from the compensation claim, Toyah overhears, finds out that Les took the tablets himself and threatens to tell. However, Les and Janice manage to persuade her to keep quiet. So, Les wants to fly to Las Vegas with the money and Janice wants a romantic break in Paris, so Les tells her if she won't go to Las Vegas, he'll find someone who does. And he does. Jacqui Dobbs is over the moon when Les asks her on holiday to Vegas but when Janice finds out, which she does, she's not best pleased. So, at the tribunal, Martin isn't sacked, but he resigns after the hospital want him to keep his job but "re-train" when he admits fault by not keeping the drugs trolley locked. A sum of money is agreed to offer Les Battersby, who turns up with that dodgy solicitor of his. Anyway, as the hospital boffins are about to offer Les his compensation, in walks Janice and turns the whole thing upside down by letting everyone know the truth about her scheming, scum-bag husband.
Natalie gets the decorators in at the Rovers to give the living quarters a bit of a sorting out. "I like this wallpaper" Lorraine tells Natalie. "It's very you - bold and classy". (I thought it was tasteless and stripey, but what do I know?)
Roy gets a second hand espresso machine delivered to the cafe and although he puts it in place, it won't work properly and the instructions are in Italian. Hayley comes to the rescue by translating some of the key words but soon realises the instructions are for a washing machine, not a coffee maker. Anyway, Steve McDonald helps out and gets the machine working but steam gushes out all over the place and Hayley goes to put the kettle on instead. Roy's having doubts about moving his business to the new cafe now but Hayley has every faith in Roy and his new venture.
Kev and Alison, the factory girl, go out on a date together after he asks Sally to babysit the girls. He lies and tells Sally he's going to Leeds for the night and then he apologises for turfing her out on Christmas day. Anyway, Kev and Alison have dinner and then he drives her back home at the end of the night and they play a bit of tonsil hockey. Just as Alison is about to invite Kevin inside (well, her mam and dad are on holiday) Alison notices Kev checking his watch to see how long he has to get back to Sally and the girls. Kev drives back home and Alison tells him she wants to put the relationship on hold until he gets his family life sorted out.
Jacqui gives Alma a letter from Curly's building society which says that Curly hasn't been making the mortgage payments over the last few months. What to do? Jacqui has a plan - she suggests Alma treats her like a proper tenant, charge her rent, for which the DSS will pay and the rent will cover the mortgage payments. Mike advises Alma to tread carefully with Jacqui but Alma decides it's a good plan and that she'll go for it.
Ashley and Fred start their new jobs at the butcher's counter at Freshco. Fred isn't too happy, I say, none too pleased to see tins of corned beef on sale opposite their counter, so he sends Ashley out onto the shop floor, handing out (British) beef sandwiches to the shoppers as a way of attracting custom. Alma is incensed when she sees this and tells Fred he can do what he likes to attract trade to his stall but he must do it from behind the counter. Cue strings of union jacks, "Land of Hope and Glory" blaring out on the cassette recorder and a roaring trade for the butcher - all from behind the counter. In the corner shop, a young Asian girl, Nita, starts as Ashley's replacement. She's a little too assertive for Maude who now takes her lunch break in the Rovers to get out of Nita's way. Ashley's taken quite a shine to Nita, and offers her a drink in the Rovers to answer her questions about the "shop's profile", just as soon as he's figured out what it is. Fred tells Ashley to leave Nita alone, advising him not to "dally on your own doorstep".
And that is just about that for this week.
Glenda ;-)
I've just spent the last half hour installing and upgrading to the new version of AOL. Then I spent the following 20 minutes on the phone to the technical help desk trying to figure out why it wouldn't work. However, it's sorted now, all working and if you're reading this in AOL you'll see a cheeky little font being used for the first time with italics and words in bold too. I'm also going to post my photo at the top of the update next week too, just as a way of learning the new AOL scheme of things here. If you're not on AOL and this message comes through full of garbage and error commands, let me know and I'll revert back to the normal font for future updates. So, how are you all anyway? I'm pleased to say that Des Barnes is alive and well and performing at Newcastle's Theatre Royal in the pantomime, Cinderella. I saw the panto on Saturday afternoon and it was very, very funny despite being the first panto I've ever seen which was actually sponsored (by Cadbury - who else?!). Anyway, it's lunch time here so excuse me getting crumbs on the update as I chomp my way through a couple of cheese and mayo sandwiches washed down with a nice cuppa Earl Grey.
After last week's Platt vs Battersby industrial tribunal, Martin resigns from his job in protest after being told to re-train and Gail is not best pleased. She's even less best pleased when Martin tells her he's going to work in the Rovers until he gets a job with a nursing agency. Les lies to Martin and says that he was going to give Martin half of the money from the compensation claim if he'd won his case. He also says he dropped his case for Martin's benefit! So of course, when Martin calls the hospital and finds out this isn't the case he squares up to Martin in the Rovers and the first fight of 1999 (and the first one under Natalie's landlady-ship), starts up but comes to nothing. However, Janice throws Les out and Jacqui Dobbs wants nothing to do with him as soon as she realises she isn't getting a free trip to Vegas, or anywhere. After spending the night in the out-house, Les begs Janice to take him back, which she does, and she swears it'll be the last time she ever does so (again).
Emily offers to babysit the twins for Gary and Judy but ends up baby-sitting Gary and Judy when they fall asleep while getting ready to go out.
Over at the Webster's, the stongest storyline in ages is emerging - the battle for custody of the gurrrls. Sally gets a letter from Kevin's solicitor saying he wants a divorce and custody of the kids. She's distraught but threatens to fight back (been there, done that, spent 2 grand, solicitor got a new car). However, Sally doesn't yet realise that Kevin is seeing factory-girl Alison and that the pair of them are planning a weekend away to get to know each other better, and they plan to take the girls with them. But just what is it with Kevin and Alison? They're about as passionate as a tin of butter beans. Where's the chemistry? Where's the sparkle? It's all snogging and shagging and weekends away, tut, tut, tut.
Alf's will is read by Audrey's solicitor. Each of Gail and Martin's kids get 2 grand each when they reach the age of 18, and Nick receives his money straight away. What's left for Audrey then is only £1,427.13 in cash. The rest of Alf's assets were tied up in the house, the car and the hair salon and Audrey is rather perturbed about what people will say when they find out she isn't the wealthy widow she'd imagined she would be. Gail and Martin promise not to tell anyone, and even when Fred Eliott pries into her finances, Audrey remains tight-lipped.
Fred Eliot's words of wisdom this week come in the form of offering advice to Ashley on attracting a girlfriend. "You've got to entice them like, with a nice bit of kidney or summat."
Nick mentions the idea of going away on a holiday with Leanne and she's really pleased at first but then he changes his mind and Martin overhears Leanne bitching about Nick in the corner shop. However, at college, Miranda advises Nick to take Leanne away someone cheap and unusual (i.e. Canada!) and that way, when Leanne's grateful for the holiday, she'll let Nick return to his nuddy painting class. If it's anything like Sunderland Uni art class, they pay £5 per hour for a nuddy model - I know this purely of course because I've seen the posters on the "situations vacation" noticeboard (honest!)
Poor Roy. Here he is, ready to fit out his new cafe, and seems to be completely reliant on Steve McDonald. Steve gives Roy an estimate of £12,000 for the work which Roy rejects, and with Hayley's help, Roy haggles and gets the price reduced to £7,950 instead. (I was always taught to get at least 3 estimates - sage advice that Roy could do with right now, methinks!)
It's all change over at the Rovers. Natalie continues with the redecorating and even mentions getting some designer beers to sell. Heaven only knows what Ena Sharples would have made of it all. She demotes Jack and Vera to Cellarman and Cleaner after she has to take them to task for standing around gossiping instead of doing real work. The lovely Spider offers to help out behind the bar and Natalie takes him on as a barman. Natalie had told him that the Duckies were leaving the Rovers due to retirement so he's really upset (bless him) to hear that they've actually been demoted, and no doubt, will be sacked soon too. So, the lovely Spider resigns before he even starts - on a point of principle about the way Natalie is treating Vera and Jack, and falls out with girlfriend Lorraine (tart!) in the process (hurray!).
Sharon Gaskell arrives back on the street - she's Rita's foster daughter from many moons ago. Anyway, she's back to see Rita to tell her she's getting married and moving back to Manchester. Rita is over the moon at seeing Sharon again and sees her as a breath of fresh air after all the pain and strife she's been through lately.
In the corner shop, Fred has an idea to get rid of the remaining Christmas puddings. He offers one free every time one of his customers buys 2 of any items. Unfortunately, nobody seems to like the puds even if they are getting them free. Factory girl Linda goes into the corner shop and recognises Nita from school, surprised to see her working there. She asks Nita why she's working there and makes a reference to middle-class family, which unsettles Nita a little - (the whole family take over the shop eventually, headed up by father played by none other than Saeed Jaffrey!)
And that, I think, is just about that for this week.
Glenda ;-)
By gum, I'm jiggered. I've just spent the last two hours walking and I'm grateful to be sitting down now writing the weekly update. I had a University project to hand in today, and as it's a nice, sunny, fresh sort of January day, I thought I'd take Sophie (the scruffy sheepdog) with me for the walk instead of taking the bus. So off we set for the 4 mile walk to the other side of town, got to the Uni building and as I'm looking around for a suitable post or something to tie the dog to, this burly security bloke comes out, all officious and bumptious like. "You can tie it there!" he shouts, pointing at a post in the car park. Then the conversation, oddly, and I kid you not, went like this:
Him: "Does it bite?" Me: "Oh, no". Him: "What's it got a muzzle on for, then?" Me: "It's not a muzzle, it's a halti collar, it stops her pulling when I'm walking her on the lead". Him: "Looks like a muzzle to me. It had better not bite, mind. Worrisit? A Shitszu?" Me: "No, an Old English Sheepdog" Him: "Looks like a bulldog to me, they bite. Is it a girl or a boy?" Me: "A girl" Him: "What's that then, a dog or a bitch?" Me: "A bitch. Is it okay if I leave her here while I nip into the library to hand in my project?" Him: "Aye, but if it teks that muzzle off and bites 'us, I'll ave yer!"
Anyway, enough meandering. Off we go with this week's Coronation Street update - and it's been a cracking week, full of great stuff.
Leanne and Nick fly off on their three week holiday to Canada. Leanne tells Nick she's the first Battersby ever to get past Torremelinos. (That's nowt. I was the first Young to get past South Shields!). With Leanne away, Rita needs help in the Kabin and asks Sharon to help out, which she's happy to do.
Over at the Rovers, all is not rosy. Natalie wants to rent out her house rather than sell it, and Jack suggests that he and Vera move in there, which Natalie thinks is quite a good idea until Vera sticks her oar in, the two of them argue and Natalie changes her mind. When Natalie has a go at Vera, Jack defends her, telling Natalie "When she's not breathing fire, underneath it all, she's just a frightened old woman." Aw. Anyway, relationships are strained at the Rovers between the Duckies and Natalie although Jack is still employed there as cellarman. Jack and Vee end up moving out and into a bed and breakfast. And who should be the landlady at the b&b? None other than Eunice Gee - remember her! So, Jack and Vera move in there with Eunice giving Jack the glad-eye and he's happy to put a shelf up for her when she makes him kippers for breakfast and as you can imagine, Vera isn't best pleased with the attention this woman is giving Jack. Anyway, Eunice mentions that she's thinking of selling up and moving on and before you can say "that's either a good storyline or an exit for the Duckies" (Jack and Vera are rumoured to be leaving the street soon), Jack and Vera are thinking about buying the place with the £30,000 that's sitting in their bank account.
Natalie gets offered a load of beer that's going to be past its best soon, so she takes it and sells the cheap beer in the Rovers to receptive punters, especially Les Battersby and Jacqui Dobbs - who seems to have taken a shine to Les again now he's in funds for beer. When Janice finds Les in the Rovers with Jacqui, drunk on cheap booze, she drags him off home.
Down in that hotbed of intrigue and malarkey known as the corner shop Ashley takes Nita to the wholesalers where, strangely, everyone seems to know her already. He's even more puzzled when he sees Nita getting into a car with an older Asian man after she leaves work, and assumes it's her boyfriend (it's not, it's her dad, ready and waiting to buy the shop from Fred Eliott just as soon as it's up for sale.) Also in the corner shop, Maude becomes Claire Rayner, agony aunt, for the afternoon when the lovely Spider confides that he's had enough of Lorraine (tart!) and wants to end the relationship with her (I always knew it wouldn't last!). Then Lorraine comes into the shop and tells Maude she's invited Spider for dinner and she's going to ask him to move into Natalie's house with her. Well, she does ask him and quite rightly, because he's saving himself for me, he turns her down and tells her he's had enough of her. Ha bloody ha.
Sally picks the girls up and takes them for tea at Rita's. Kevin has already told Sally he wants to take the girls away on holiday for a weekend but Sally doesn't yet know he's also taking his new girlfriend, so when one of the girls tells Sally that Alison is coming along too, at first she thinks Alison is one of the girl's friends from school. "Oh no" they chime "Alison's daddy's girlfriend." Before they go off on holiday, Sally has a word with Alison in the cafe and tells her to look after the girls while they're away and after they go, Sally is upset but more determined to get herself a house so she can apply for custody of her two daughters. Well, Sally is looking for a house, Natalie has one to rent - so it only makes sense that Sally moves in there, doesn't it? Kevin doesn't seem to think so and the fur flies when he finds out Sally will be living across the road from him, convinced that Sally is living there to spite him and keep her eye on him and Alison. She stands up to Kevin and tells him the only important thing in her life is having custody of the girls, whoever he's with, and she's going to fight him for the kids.
Will they? Won't they? Ken and Deirdre back together? Is it possible these two lonely, pathetic, bored souls could find their lives spiced up once more with each other? Blanche seems to think so. Over a drink in the Rovers, she tells Deirdre, in complete confidence, that Ken has told her that he still pines for Deirdre, that he wants a reconciliation, that he still loves her. Deirdre is a bit confused, but you can see the idea doesn't sit too badly with her. Next, Blanche has a quiet word with Ken, and tells him, in complete confidence that Deirdre has told her that she pines for him, that she wants a reconciliation, that she still loves him. Ken is also a bit confused but you can see the idea doesn't sit too badly with him, either. Blanche advises Ken to 'woo' Deirdre. And that's a word you don't hear every day.
That's all for this week!
Glenda ;-)
