Doesn't it seem odd that there isn't one, not one, dog on the street? In fact, the absence of any pets in Coronation Street is at odds with the fact that England is pet-crazy. Go to any northern terraced street (such as the one I live in) and you'll find all sorts of pets. So anyway, to address this problem, and make Corra more representative of Britain today, I'd like to offer the services of Sophie the scruffy sheepdog who will gladly act the role of "dog in the Street". She's got it all, has Sophie. She can run the full range of emotions from A to B. Sorrow! (one eyebrow raised while sighing loudly), Joy! (same as sorrow, without the sigh), Pathos! (same as sorrow with a heavier sigh). Oh yes, this is one talented dog - I'll go wait by the phone for ITV to call.
Anyway, on with this week's Coronation Street update. Hold on, Bryan Ferry has just come on the radio so I'll go turn it up. That's better. Oh, he's a smooth one that Mr. Ferry...
Fred announces to all he's selling the shop and Ashley finds out from Linda the truth about Nita - that her dad owns a chain of corner shops called Desai's. Ashley tells Fred what's going on and they realise Nita has been sent in to spy on them so Fred devises a cunning plan. He has a word with his lady councillor friend, Mrs Roberts, and she just happens, by coincidence as she was passing, to pop into the shop later on that day to have a word with Fred, in confidence, like. Nita 'overhears' Audrey telling Fred she's just had word from t'council that they're going to build a new housing estate on the red rec which could push the value of his shop up, and advises him not to sell. Quick as you like, Nita's on the phone to her dad, telling him the news. Nita's dad comes into the shop later but Fred tells him the shop is no longer up for sale. They do a bit of bargaining and agree a price of £7,000 higher than the original asking price and Fred is pleased his little plan worked. But all is not well. Maude asks Fred what will become of her when the new owner takes over. Fred tells her it's time to hang up her hat, I say, hang her hat up, and when she asks him for a redundancy package - he gives her a bottle of sherry! So, Maude wheels herself outside to talk to Nita's dad (I'm not sure if he's called Ravi or Desai) and tells him he's being diddled and there isn't a new estate being built on the red rec at all. Furious, he storms back into the shop and confronts Fred about good business practise. Fred retorts that putting his daughter in the shop was hardly fair either, and they continue to argue until Nita locks them all inside the shop and makes them both sit down to thrash out a deal.
Vera gets her job back in the Rovers as a cleaner as money is tight although Eunice Gee can't understand why everyone can't be a lady of leisure, like herself. Vera pretends it's because she misses the company, not the money. Anyway, in the Rovers, Jack overhears Mike Baldwin telling Fred that the steward of his golf club has teed off to the 19th hole in the sky. Jack persuades Vera to look at the golf club and talks her into applying, as a couple, for the vacant jobs of club steward and stewardess. Vera thinks it's too posh for someone like her, but Jack reckons if they get the job they can stick at it for a couple of years before going into running a B&B later in life.
Martin has an interview for the post of assistant manager at an old folks home. He gets the job, but gets called upon to do the plumbing and general odd-jobs around the place which he's not best pleased about. One of the old folks in the home, 74 year old Walter, confides in Martin that his sister is in a different home and he misses her, that's why he's not eating. Martin takes it upon himself to get involved on behalf of Walter and asks Gail if he should get Audrey involved to help Walter and his sister be reunited. "It's about time she did something for her constituents" he says, and rightly so.
Sally has a right to-do in the corner shop when she sees Alison buying sweets for her girls - the whole thing leads to Alison walking out on Kevin when she says the relationship is too much hassle. However, they make up and get back together. Sally has the girls at her house and they play tea-party in the back yard. When Kevin sees them playing in the garden, it makes him realise Sally can offer his daughters a better home than he can, and calls off his date with Alison to spend time with the girls.
Sharon's fiancé Ian comes for dinner at Rita's, but beforehand he has a couple of drinks in the Rovers and gives Natalie the glad-eye in the Rovers. He doesn't know it, but he's standing next to Rita at the bar in the Rovers while he's flirting with Natalie and Rita recognises him when he's introduced to her back at her flat. Sharon moans that Ian is always working away, so Rita suggests that Sharon moves in with Sally until Leanne returns from holiday
After Blanche's shenanigans last week, Ken invites Deirdre out for a drink in the Rovers. He asks her if she's really happy in her life and is quite confused when Deirdre tells him she loves living alone and doesn't want to change it. Strange. This isn't what Blanche told him. Later, he buys some flowers for Deirdre but the bouquet ends up on the pavement when Deirdre throws them away when she realises what's going on and how far her mother has been interfering. Blanche sheds a few tears and says "But I only wanted to see you happy". (And don't they all. My mother would be ecstatic if I'd married that kid from school she liked so much. I wouldn't have minded so much but his nose was always running and his brother had nits).
In the Rovers, Linda and Janice start talking about men (as usual) and Linda complains that she'll never meet anyone decent in Weatherfield. (Oh, I don't know about that, there's a certain eco-warrier that's not half bad). Anyway, they decide to have a Valentine's Day party and Hayley offers to be social secretary to help organise it all. Les says he'll do the disco for £50 as it's going to be a 70's night and he's got a load of 70's records handy. Roy is somewhat put out that Hayley has got quite a life of her own these days - operatic society, organising the valentine's party, etc., but Hayley puts her foot down and tells him not to worry, she'll make sure Roy isn't neglected.
And that's that for this week.
Glenda ;-)
It's been a funny old week on the Street, not much in terms of action - in fact the amount of notes I've scribbled is less than half the amount I usually write for the update. But there's been a lot happening, a lot conveyed by meaning, deep storylines, but as I said, not much action. And talking about action, there's a German Shepherd outside my front door wanting some. Action, that is. When I say German Shepherd, I refer of course to an Alsatian dog, that four footed randy devil from down the street trying to give my Sophie dog an early Valentine's day present. We've already had a dalmatian howling her name in the middle of the street and a tatty old mongrel with 3 legs trying to chew his way in through the letter box. Poor Sophie. Without going into details (just incase you're eating while reading this), she isn't a well pup at all. Poor thing has a bit of a problem, and although she was spayed over 2 years ago, the er.. problem confuses other dogs (so says the vet), making them think she's actually in season, when she's not. I knew there was a problem on our walk the other morning when a little terrier tried to have his wicked way with her. But Sophie wouldn't put up with any nonsense, oh no. She sat down, firmly, in the middle of the street, turned her head and growled as the terrier tried to mate with the back of her neck. I managed to get rid of the terrier and dragged Sophie home only to have the terrier follow us and sit outside the front door, howling for best part of an hour. So as the neighbourhood dogs cry and bark outside of the front door, I sneak Sophie out of the yard for a stroll up and down the back lane until the dogs slink off and wander back home .....Sophie has left the building.
Anyway, on with this week's Coronation Street update.
Audrey finds out that Alf hasn't provided anything for her by way of a pension. It's the final insult to Audrey, being left without any money from Alf's will, now all she has to live on is the profit from the hair salon. (I'm surprised the shock of having to work for her living for once hasn't knocked her into the Rovers for a G&T already). She confides in Alma but decides against telling Fred who blithely assumes, I say, he assumes that Audrey is a lady of wealth after Alf's death.
Natalie decides to go to court to see Des' killers sentenced. Des' brother, Colin, is there too and has a few choice words for Natalie (remember his outburst in the church at the funeral?). So, he's taken aback when Natalie tells him it was she who turned her son in to the police. Anyway, they go for a drink afterwards and Colin has a few too many drinks to drive back to Newcastle and he ends up staying overnight in the Rovers - with Natalie. Next morning, he leaves and Betty asks Nat if Colin has upset her in some way or t'other but Nat firmly, and rudely, tells Bet to mind her own business, she's just an employee.
Also in court this week are Kevin and Sally fighting over custody of the girls. Neither of them will agree to family mediation to sort things out, so a court order will be issued after several weeks of talking to the girls, their teachers, viewing Sal and Kev's home and of course, talking to Alison, which she isn't best pleased about. Rita goes to the court to support Sally. Later, Kev and Alison walk past Sally's house and Sal and Kev have a go at each other, screaming in the street until Alison pulls Kevin away to the Rovers. Sal and Kev panic and blame each other when little Sophie rushes out in front of Ian's (Sharon's fiance) car in the street.
Jack and Vera go for their interview at the golf club and as luck would have it - or so they think - Mike Baldwin is on the interview panel. It's obvious that the golf club is looking for a couple a little more... well, a bit less... well, you know what I mean. What they're looking for is a couple exactly opposite to the Duckworths, and they don't get the job.
Martin finds out that the old chap in the home, Walter, who wants to be in the same old folks home as his sister, can be moved. He tells Mr Lickley, the owner, who isn't best pleased that one of his residents will be moving out - he'll lose money! Anyway, when Martin goes to tell Walter the good news - he finds Walter dead in his chair. Upset, Martin goes home and starts arguing with Audrey, telling her she should be doing something for the people in her role as councillor. Audrey, upset with her own problems of finance and wondering where her next pair of slingbacks is coming from, snaps back at Martin and storms off home in a huff. However, they make up later and Martin apologises. He asks Audrey if she can arrange an inspection of 'Weatherfield Vale' old folks home by the social services, hoping to expose Lickley and his money trimming short-cuts.
Fred wheels Maude out of the corner shop for the last time, and hands the shop over to Nita. She's actually buying the shop and will run it with money she's borrowed from her dad. Feckless brother Vikram (he's dropped out of his accountancy course) turns up to help out in the shop and wanders round the cobbles like a bit part actor in a bad western film, eyeing up Maxine - which now seems to be the obligatory thing to do for new (male) characters. Maude wonders what will become of her now that she's out of a job and Fred bluntly tells her to be thankful for the work he has been kind enough to give her, not many men would do what I've done for my mother in law, he says, expecting her to be grateful. He waffles on about making money from the shop and Maude quickly shuts him up by telling him it was she who told Mr Desai about his scam with Audrey and pretending there was going to be a new housing estate on the red rec.
Preparations are underway for the Valentine's disco at the Flying Horse. Les rakes through his old 70's LPs and wonders where his gold medallion and chain have got to. Charlie West pops in and tells Les he needs 'The Birdie Song' and 'Remember you're a womble' if it's going to be an authentic 70's night. (Nah, what you need is the Bay City Rollers 'Shang a Lang', black oxford baggies with tartan up the side, tartan scarf, spikey haircut, green wedgy shoes..... well, that was me in 1974 - but I was only 10 years old so can be forgiven, surely?!)
Hayley wonders what Roy is up to - he's been nipping out of an evening and lying to her about where he's going. She confides in Linda and Janice at the factory and both of them, basing events on blokes they have known and loved, decide Roy is having an affair. "If your bloke's cheating on yer, yer one of the girls finally," says Linda "Join the club". The three of them follow Roy to a secret address where a woman welcomes him indoors and we see him taking off his anorak in the hall. Janice and Linda want to go in and confront Roy but Hayley wants to go home where she'll probably start off by having a damn good cry, then start smashing things. Oh yeah, then cut his trousers up, that's always a good one. And then put itching powder in his underpants. Sorry, I digress. Anyway, I think it's all quite innocent and I think Roy is having dancing lessons so he can whiz Hayley off her feet at the Valentine's disco next week. We'll see.
And that's just about it for this week. The lovely Spider wasn't in it this much, we see him in the Rovers a couple of times, once reading The Big Issue at the bar - but, much as I like him, isn't it time the lad got himself a job? Anyway, Spider now has his very own web site - Spider's Web - at http://members.aol.com/GlendaYo/spidersweb.html
Glenda ;-)
After last week's update with its lack of action, there's so much to write about this week, I hardly know where to start. I was going to save the best bit until last, but I can't contain myself so I'm going to jump right in and start with the Valentine's day disco at the Flying Horse. Talking about Valentine's day, when I was younger I had a "Cathy" poster on my wall. Cathy was on a sofa sitting between two blokes. The bloke she really liked was sitting reading the paper and ignoring her. The other bloke she didn't like, but he was the one showering her with red roses and kisses. The caption on the poster was "Why do the right words always come out of the wrong mouth?". Why indeed. I don't know why I'm telling you this except to try to explain that I got a valentine card and chocolates from someone I didn't expect them from, and from the person I would have liked to receive a bit of valentine romance, I got a bottle of 'Witches Brew'. Ah well, can't win 'em all. Here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Egged on by Linda and Janice, Hayley confronts Roy, asks him what he's up to and where he's been going of an evening. Roy tells her the truth - that he's been having dancing lessons in preparation for the valentine disco. However, when Hayley tells Linda and Janice the news, they think Hayley has been duped and that Roy is lying to cover the fact he's really having an affair. Hayley decides to follow Roy again when he goes for his lesson. As Hayley is snooping around outside of the house, Roy looks out of the window, surprises Hayley and she falls into the flower bed. Roy is bitterly disappointed in Hayley for her lack of trust in him and tells her "This is no basis for a long term relationship". Could this be the end for Roy and Hayley? Hayley busies herself with the decorations for the disco, helped by Alison. "I think you're really brave." says Alison, to which Hayley replies. "I'm nothing much without Roy." She mopes around a bit until the night of the valentine disco - I couldn't stop laughing all the way through the disco episode, it was a corker. Les Battersby is kitted out a la Ziggy Stardust, spinning the tunes in his jump-suit and makeup, and both Janice and Jacqui Dobbs come dressed as Debbie Harry. Les announces the prize for the winner of the best 70's costume goes to Mike Baldwin.... and he hasn't even dressed up! but really the prize goes to Jacqui Dobbs with her mini skirt, blonde wig and boots on. Les and Janice end up having a huge falling out (again) when she finds Les arranging to show Jacqui his 7" vinyl. Anyway, it looks like it's all off now between Jacqui and Les when Les catches her trying to steal his pride and joy - his Buddy Holly record.
In tears, Hayley confides to Alma about Roy, and Alma leaves the disco to tell Roy he'd better get to the disco quick-sharp or risk losing Hayley forever. Lorraine and Steve McDonald arrive at the disco together, she assumes they're there as a couple, so isn't best pleased when he leaves early with factory girl Linda. Ashley, spotting his opportunity, spins his best line on Lorraine "Would you like a dance with the love doctor?" Oddly, it seems to work and the two of them take to the dance floor. The lovely Spider keeps himself to himself in a corner of the room and who can blame him as Ken and Deirdre take to the floor and waltz a bit. And then, as Hayley sits alone at her table, in walks Sir Royston himself. I stopped laughing and I gasped. I don't think I've ever gasped at Coronation Street before. He's wearing his 'Saturday Night Fever' white suit and medallion, his hair is in a quiff and Hayley is in a quiver. Roy sits down next to Hayley and gives her his grandmother's ring. "I love you Hayley" he says. "And I want to marry you. However. Wherever". I'd laughed, I'd gasped. Now it was my turn to cry. Gail and Martin are the first to know Roy and Hayley's news and then the factory girls find out when they spot Hayley wearing her engagement ring. "What's the point?" snaps Linda, a thought echoed by Martin and Audrey too (even though Roy asks Audrey to be guest of honour at the opening of his new cafe). Les Battersby is a lot less subtle, as you'd expect, and causes a bit of a fuss in the Rovers when he finds out Roy and Hayley are going to be married.
Anyway, elsewhere on the street, life goes on. Rita and Nita, the lady shopkeepers, declare war. Nita starts to sell newspapers in the corner shop and when Rita finds out she isn't best pleased. She calls to see Nita, to tell her there's always been an understanding, a friendship between the corner shop and the Kabin, an unwritten rule that the corner shop wouldn't take business away from the Kabin. But Nita will not be moved. She intends to make a profit, whatever the er.. cost. Now this might seem, on the surface, quite a trivial thing, surely shopkeepers should be allowed to sell what they choose? Well, yes, I suppose. But, the very same thing happened here. We had two shops about 100 yards from each other. One was an open-all-hours grocery shop and the other was a newsagents. The open-all-hours decided that it too was going to sell newspapers and the newsagents objected, strongly. The open-all-hours got itself a gang who smashed the windows of the newsagents and threw open tins of paint inside. And there you have it - healthy competition, Sunderland style.
Martin goes to Walter's funeral and asks Audrey once more if she can do something to arrange an inspection of Weatherfield Vale. Audrey blabs to Fred Eliot and wonders what she should do. Fred knows Mr Lickley, the owner of the old folks home as he's a fellow square dealer. "Leave it to me" says Fred. Later, all the care staff at the home are called into a meeting and Lickley tells them all he knows that one of his staff has asked a councillor to inspect the home, and when he finds out who it is, they'll be sacked. Luckily, Fred hasn't told Lickley it was Martin but this doesn't stop Martin telling Audrey to "keep your big mouth shut!" in future.
Ken gets a call from Tracy, sobbing on the phone. He calls Deirdre and they have a chat about their daughter's marital problems but really it's just an excuse for Ken to seduce his ex-wife with a corned beef hash (some women have all the luck, eh?). Blanche sends both Ken and Deirdre the same valentine card, hoping each of them will think it's from the other. They're both trying to keep away from Blanche as much as possible so that she can't interfere in their lives, but strangely, she ends up bringing them closer together anyway, united in their despair about her interfering.
Sally and Kev get a visit at home from the bloke from the court, whose job it is to inspect their home environments. Both of them tell a few white lies to make their home sound better than it actually is. While Sharon is in bed with flu, fickle fiance Ian is at the Rovers chatting up Natalie, in fact, not only chatting her up, but he takes her out for dinner too. Hiss, boo, Ian's a slapper, etc.
Maxine gets friendly with Nita as a way of getting closer to her brother, Vikram. In the Rovers, Maxine and Steve exchange a few words and then Lorraine and Linda end up fighting over Steve McDonald (ladies, pur-lease!). Natalie throws Linda out and orders Lorraine into the back room.
And that, I think is just about that for this week.
Glenda ;-)
I'm writing this week's update with a strong cuppa tea and a massive, and I mean enormous, piece of white stilton with apricots in it. It's gorgeous, just like eating orange cheesecake. If you've got a sweet tooth _and_ you like cheese, get ye down to the supermarket missus and buy some, now. Oh well, back to the stilton and tea while I type up this week's Coronation Street weekly update.
Leanne and Nick arrive back from Canada full of news that Steven is getting married next weekend and has sent return tickets for Audrey and Gail to fly over for the wedding. When Audrey tells Alma that Steven is getting wed, Alma lowers her eyes and tells Audrey to give him her best wishes. Awh! Fred sees Audrey off and there's quite a tender moment when he tells her, not in so many words, that he'll miss her when she's gone, I say, she'll be missed. Awh! again.
Leanne is taken aback when she goes back to work in the Kabin only to find Sharon behind the counter. She's even less best pleased when Rita announces she's off to visit Mavis in Cartmel for a few days and will be leaving Sharon in charge of the shop. Rita and Nita, the lady shopkeepers, compete for business by staying open all hours, and the Kabin starts selling a few groceries to win customers. When Nita finds out the Kabin is selling bread for 5p less than her corner shop, she reduces the price immediately and guarantees all her prices will be lower than those in the Kabin.
Janice and Les have their electricity cut off after Les has been drinking away the money Janice gave him to pay the bill. She also finds out he hasn't been paying the rent and there's bills mounting up too - the gas, the catalogue, it's all happening. Les climbs up on to Jacqui's roof next door, hoping to tap into her electricity supply but he climbs down again after she threatens to pull away the ladder and says she knows what he's up to. Janice asks Leanne to loan her some money to clear the debts, but Nick is against using his inheritance from grandad Alf to give to Janice for Les to drink away. However, Leanne later offers Janice £200 from their joint building society account, as long as Nick doesn't find out. Janice tells Les the money is a sub on wages from Mike Baldwin, the bills are sorted out and an electricity card meter is fitted in their house. Les gets some sort of work from Charlie West and does some DJ'ing to earn some cash also.
Deirdre's mum, Blanche does a moonlight flit when Emily takes her back to the old folk's home in her car without so much as a nod to Deirdre. Deirdre and Ken discuss Blanche's disappearance over a drink in the Rovers, moaning about the fact that Blanche tried to get them back together again. And to discuss it further, they arrange to go out for a night together too. Even Emily suggests that Ken and Deirdre could do a lot worse than end up together, again.
Natalie goes out for dinner with rat-bag Ian (Sharon's fiance). Natalie, being an old slapper and having seen a bit of action in her time, suspects that Ian is married. When she questions him, he comes clean (well, sort of) and tells her he's engaged, but doesn't say who he's engaged to, and Natalie doesn't know - yet. After the dinner, he sends her a bouquet of flowers and Betty is all of a dither, wondering who Natalie's mystery man is.
Weatherfield Vale is inspected by social services and when Martin hears about it, he's over the moon. He knows it's got nothing to do with Audrey because he asked her before she went to Canada if she'd arranged an inspection and she said she hadn't got around to it but she'd sort it out when she returned. Anyway, the manager of the old folks home gets Martin into his office and sacks him after wrongly assuming it was Martin who got the visit arranged.
Kevin takes Alison for a long pub lunch and Sally is off to the wholesalers when the call comes in, to Martin, that little Rosie has had an accident at school and has been taken to hospital. Martin goes to the hospital to look after Rosie and when Sally and Kevin arrive back on the street, she blasts Kevin for having his mobile phone switched off. Legally, he's responsible for the girls during the week and the hospital has his mobile phone number to contact him in emergency. So, they both rush to hospital where Rosie is okay but will be kept in overnight for observation, and both of them blame the other for not being there for their daughter.
And finally this week, the new cafe - Roy's Rolls is due to open. Toyah and Hayley lend Roy a hand in getting the place ready when Gail flies off to Canada. Before they go to bed that night, Hayley gets her tights snagged on a nail sticking out of the skirting board, so she pulls the nail out - and strangely, very strangely, this floods the cafe - the nail had gone through a water pipe. It's chaos the next morning when Roy and Hayley wake up to discover what's happened and Roy is screaming for Steve McDonald's blood. The plumber arrives and fixes the pipe, but it turns out that it was Gary Mallett who put the nail through the pipe in the first place - so Steve makes Gary help Roy put the place straight, although doesn't let on to Roy that it was all Gary's fault.
Glenda ;-)
