Anyone and everyone who is a fan of Spider Nugent should rush and buy this month's UK Cosmo. Inside, there's a double page spread of our favourite eco-totty. Nude. Well, without any further prattle, - cos I'm off to the pub as soon as I write this - off we go with this week's Corrie update (while listening to the new Suede CD I bought today).
It's Leanne's 18th birthday but she's not best pleased when she gets a letter from Nick in Canada, asking her for a divorce. She's upset naturally, but when Audrey boasts to Janice that Nick is now a junior executive in his Uncle Steven's company, Leanne storms in to see Gail and tells her that if Nick wants a divorce, she's going to make him suffer and go after as much of his cash as she can.
Ashley and Maxine go out shopping for their engagement ring but still, Uncle Fred isn't too happy about their wedding plans. Ashley's mum calls round to see the happy couple, but is forewarned by Fred that Maxine has been a bit of a slapper in the past. Maxine can't understand why Beryl doesn't like her, until she finds out what Fred had said. She storms in to see Fred, calls him an 'over grown gnome' and tells him to accept things the way they are for Ashley's sake. Fred has a bit of a re-think and finally apologises to Maxine, giving her a gift of a box of chocolates.
Kevin and Alison move into Deirdre's old flat above the bookies - Alison brings a box of her fluffy toys with her (why am I not surprised?) and they decide to have a housewarming party. Kevin is keen to invite Alison's parents, but she said she doesn't want them there as they are both religious and wouldn't approve of her living with Kevin.
Hayley catches Mike and factory girl Linda together in the factory, but doesn't let on to anyone, except Roy, that she's seen them together. "Maybe it was just a trick of the light?" suggests Roy, when Hayley describes she's seen her boss and her colleague with their tongues down each other's throats. Linda warns Hayley to keep quiet about everything, and continues to make life a nuisance for Deirdre in the factory. Alma overhears the girls talking in the Rovers, worrying they may lose their jobs. She offers to buy them all a drink. Hayley makes excuses and leaves while Linda slyly accepts a pint from her.
Meanwhile, Alma is asked out to dinner by Ravi, and reluctantly agrees. Audrey tells her to go out and enjoy herself with Ravi. (I would... he's really sweet, don't you think? Polite, like).
Sally continues to have problems with Rosie and she and Kevin can finally sit down together to talk about it calmly now, rather than lose their tempers with one another in front of the children.
Oh, Welsh Owen turned up this week from the caravan park, declaring undying love for Janice. When Les finally found out the truth for Owen's visit - that it wasn't in fact to return the camper van - there's fighting on the street and blood on the cobbles over Janice's affections. Finally, she tells Owen that she doesn't love him and won't go away with him, when secretly, she does and she wants to.
And that's about it for this week. Sorry it's a bit short and that, but I'm out of here.
Glenda has left the building....
Read my on-line newspaper - THE DAILY .DOT
Well, here we are; another week over and another erm, update due. It's been quite an eventful week, all in all. Took the dog to the vet today for her annual shots, and she's been to the groomer. Nothing's changed really, dog looks the same while I've been relieved of £80 quid. The joys of pet ownership, eh? I'm settling into the flat well, very well, whoever thought being single could be so much bloody fun?
It's been a hot and sweaty week up here in Sunderland. We just don't know how to handle the heat here. Everyone's crabby and miserable and moaning that it's too hot. Everyone except me. I've got a spring in my step and a song in my heart (... and I really _should_ stop listening to Radio 2). I'm off to London this weekend to see my second Marc Almond concert of the year. Saw the first one in Manchester and it was quite something. Anyway, without any further ado, here is this week's Coronation Street update.
Alma, quite savvy, has dinner with Ravi, and about time too. There he is, an older gentlemen, polite and courteous and with a penny or two in his pocket. If he'd have asked me, I'd have been out with him like a shot. Anyway, Audrey's all for it and gives her friend some encouragement but Nita tells Linda what's happened and when Linda reports back to Mike, well, he's not best pleased. Alma suggests to Mike they go out for dinner together to talk things through, and Linda wonders if Mike is starting to cool off their hot and heavy affair. In the factory, Linda acts up to Deirdre who reports her to Mike. Mike calls Linda into his office for a dressing down (no, not that sort of dressing down) and tells her to lay off Deirdre. Linda wants to go public about their affair, but black-hearted Mike is wary that if Alma finds out about the pair of them, she'll sink her teeth into him re. the divorce settlement.
Sophie continues to make a nuisance of herself (this is boring now, I wanted her to be really evil and she's disappointed me terribly). Kev & Alison throw a house warming party, to which Sally is not invited, and Sophie escapes and wanders over to the party. She's starting to play off her parents against each other and wimpish Alison shows Kevin her true strength of feeling about his 'orrible kid when he tells Sally he'll look after Sophie for a week. Crikey, give the kid a slap round the legs and no pocket money for a fortnight. Never did me any harm. Bland Danny calls round to see Sally again and asks her again if she'll go out with him. This time, she agrees, well, sort of.
Maxine and Ashley have a dinner party, inviting Maxine's parents, Fred and sister Beryl. Everything goes swimmingly until Fred confides he's Ashley's real dad, not his uncle. As Maxine's parents already know that Beryl is Fred's sister, they look at Ashley, and then at Maxine for an explanation. Quite a funny scene but it all comes out right in the wash.
Gail, concerned about Leanne wanting to sink her teeth into golden boy Nick for a £5,000 divorce settlement, tells Martin she'll pay Leanne the money herself, just to get rid of her. Martin doesn't think this a very good idea at all and warns Leanne that the money will be coming from Gail and himself, which he's obviously not happy about. Leanne doesn't care, she just wants what she feels is due to her: "...even if you have to take the money from Sarah-Lou's piggy bank" and spends her nights out with Vikram in the casinos. Welcome, then, finally, to the new Elsie Tanner.
Young Tyrone is after somewhere of his own to live. He approaches Natalie about renting her house but she's having none of it. Anyawy, he manages to worm his way into Vera and Jack's B&B, living in the box room at the top of the stairs that no-one else wants. Vera tells him he'll have to help out around the place in lieu of rent and Tyrone is as keen as ever to help out, bless him. The boy's a star. Jack receives a letter from the hospital - his angiogram appointment. And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
Read my on-line newspaper - THE DAILY .DOT
I've decided to become mysterious....
A friend told me I give too much away about myself in the weekly updates and yes, it is true that there are a couple of people who only subscribe to the update list so they can find out what I've been up to each week. So, as of this update, I am now a woman of mystery; an exciting enigma. What this means is, I can't tell you anything.
No, not a thing. I'm just going to glance furtively at the computer screen as I type this intro and let you all wonder what I've been up to, and with whom. The dog has gone all mysterious too. She's wandering around all special agent-like, wearing an overcoat and dark specs and smoking cheap cigars. Talking of being mysterious, I missed Friday night's episode of Corrie because I was, erm, on special projects in an exotic destination. Yes, that's where I was. Anyway, so I missed it and what I usually do when this happens is catch up with events from Mike Plowman's wonderful Visual Updates site. However, I've been up to my elbows in, er, secret goings-on today so I'll just fill in the blanks by making things up. Anyway, on with this week's Coronation Street update.
Gail gave Leanne an unsigned cheque for £2,000 as divorce settlement from golden-boy Nick. It's only after Leanne signs the divorce papers that Gail is going to sign the cheque. However, when Leanne signs and then goes to see Gail, she refuses to sign it until Nick's solicitors confirm the deed has indeed been done. Martin and Sarah-Lou sulk for England when Gail writes the 2 grand cheque, because it means summer holidays will be another wet week in a Welsh caravan park instead of Disneyworld. Yes, I'd be upset too.
Mike and Alma agree to disagree (I love that phrase) and go out for dinner together to chat. However, within the first few minutes, Mike manages to upset not just Alma, but most of the female population of Britan sucked air through their teeth and went "oooh" when he cracked a bad joke about Alma being on the game. Anyway, dinner was cut short because of Mike's attitude over Alma's relationship with Ravi. Alma invites Ravi to Audrey's house for dinner, which he accepts. She needs to find out what to cook for him, and Curly manages to thoroughly embarass Alma among the tinned peas when he asks Nita what food her father would prefer Alma to cook for him. "Ooh Curly!" Alam retorts. "You really are such a.... man!". Indeed. I find that to be the trouble with a lot of them. Anyway, Ravi calls round for dinner, bearing an OK bouquet that looked like he'd picked it up outside of a Total Garage. Audrey is just about to leave, on her way out to a council meeting so Alma and Ravi can have the evening together but Ravi, polite as ever, insists Audrey stay to join them and being a complete tact-free zone, Audrey accepts his invitation and stays. Alma is not best pleased.
Over at the salon, Maxine's friend Melanie who was due to get married in September, tells her friend the wedding is off. Maxine tells Ashley there's a free wedding slot in September and with the vicar's agreement, their wedding is booked into the slot that Melanie and her ex-fiance have just set free. Maxine tells Audrey she wants to move out of the salon flat to move in with Ashley.
Poor Jack finds out he needs a triple heart by-pass operation and Vera is worried sick about him. Vera constantly calls the Rovers to check up on Jack so he goes out and gets himself a mobile phone that plays a little tune when it rings, quite strangely, it's "Wooden Heart" and as I hate mobile phones with a vengeance, it just goes to prove how idiotic they are. Back at the B&B, Jack has a funny turn on the stairs and Tyrone is worried sick, but Jack begs him not to tell Vera.
Mike gives Linda a spare key to his flat but for some reason isn't best pleased when she turns up there and lets herself in before he returns from his weekend golf afternoon. When Mike is called away to London for a meeting all of sudden, Linda finds herself chatting to Nita in the Rovers. Nita asks about Linda's new boyfriend and wants to know all about him. Linda tells Nita she'll take her to his flat and the pair of them are in Mike's flat, with Nita looking around while Linda pours drinks. Nita picks up a framed photograph. "What's he doing with a picture of Mike Baldwin?" she asks and Linda just smiles that evil smile she does so very well.
Danny calls round to see Sally who's still worried to bits about devil child Rosie. When he leaves and goes to the Rovers, it's Sharon that's pleased to see him there. She calls round at the market the next day, frilly market knickers in hand (don't buy them Sharon, they drop to bits after 3 washes) and acts all flirty-like with Danny.
Sally and Kevin's decree nisi has come through then, finally. Just another six weeks and it'll be absolute. When mine came through, the ex and I were (and are still) such good mates, I bought him a bottle of (Decree) Absolut vodka which I thought fitted the occasion quite well. Damn, I told you something personal. I just knew this mysterious lark wasn't going to last very long.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
Read my on-line newspaper - THE DAILY .DOT
It's always a bit daunting when sitting down to write the weekly update, to be confronted by a blank screen and a dirty keyboard (yes, I really will run the hoover over it one of these days, there's something nasty starting to grow around the Esc key). As I write the update for you this week, I'm listening to my main man, Bowie, sing my all-time favourites on Hunky Dory. It's quite interesting as my stereo isn't working properly and I can only use one speaker right now. I'm (still) waiting for a friend who promised to come and fix it for me (ahem!). It's great, singing along to a one-speaker stereo, sort of like a left-handed karaoke. Bowie sings one bit of Life on Mars, and I sing the other. Might just get used to this. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update. Oh, hang on, I've just got to sort the dog out. She's making a "I've just picked something up from the kitchen floor, possibly a raw potato and I could be choking on it" sort of noise. Here I am, back again. Dog's okay. Potato isn't.
Right, then. Gail finally signs the £2,000 cheque to give to Leanne in exchange for Leanne signing the divorce papers. However, when Leanne goes to the cashpoint machine, there's no money in her account.. hardly surprising when Martin has withdrawn everything to stop Leanne having any of the Platt money. In true weekly update fashion, Leanne storms (she really does!) into the cafe and confronts Gail about the money but Gail doesn't yet know Martin has taken all the money out. Naturally, things are not rosy over at the Platt household and tensions mount around the kitchen table with Martin telling Gail she knows nowt about the true meaning of marriage. Meanwhile, Vikram (who realises he could lose his meal ticket if Leanne doesn't get her money) advises Leanne to threaten Gail with calling the police to tell them she was forced into signing the divorce papers against her will, in the first place. Gail isn't keen to get the police involved, realising what she did was wrong, and Martin tells Leanne she'll get her money. This time, Leanne asks for cash. Wise move.
Bland Danny asks out Sharon (she is FAR too good for him!) but Rita advises caution where Sally is concerned. Sally tells Sharon she and Danny are just friends and she doesn't mind her friend going out with the bloke she turned down, but really, she's seething inside, specially when she sees them both snogging in the Street. Serves you right dear, you had your chance.
Kevin manages to upset Alison this week when he buys new trainers for the girls, and there's poor Alison trying to manage on two and sixpence for the housekeeping too. To make amends, he invites her out for a posh meal and when Janice tells Alison she's just seen Kevin coming out of a jewellry shop, Alison starts putting two and two together. Posh meal, jewellry, it can only mean one thing. Yes, Kevin has bought his daughter a new necklace and the look of disappointment on Alison's face when he hands her the box at the end of their posh night out, was priceless. Let's just hope Kevin doesn't upset the Sunderland fans so much this coming Saturday when he plays at the Stadium of Light with other Corrie men Ashley and Martin in the celebrity game. Yes, I'll be there. I've had my ticket for ages. Give 'us a wave, Kev, I'm in the East Stand!
Vera's worried sick over Jack's heart by-pass operation. However, there's no date been given by the hospital but when Vera broaches the subject of Jack having his operation done privately at a cost of £12,000, he puts his foot down and says he's not going to pay for something he should be having done free. Vera pays Ken a visit in his role as Jack's godfather, and there's a great scene when Ken asks Jack how much he loves Vera and asks him to imagine what he would do in her position, if it was Vera who needed the op.
Factory girl Linda does Mike's ironing and gets a pat on the head from him by means of a new frock and a necklace. Ravi defends Alma in the Rovers when Mike has a go at her: "You spend more time in here than the bar mats, and are probably just as soaked". Ooh. Nita tells Ravi it might be a good idea to back off from Alma as Mike will use him in his divorce case. "But my dear Nita, I find Mrs Baldwin utterly charming" (or words to that effect). Nita tells her dad that Mike has a younger girlfriend - news which Ravi passes on, reluctantly, to Alma. Alma is confused, until Hayley tells her friend the truth - Mike is seeing someone from the factory. Alma assumes it's Deirdre and is aghast when Hayley tells her it's Linda hard faced bitch from hell Sykes. Just a little point: Ravi's corner shop is still selling cans of Vaux Lambtons. I had to put that in as my brother rang to tell me that. The cans won't be replaced once they've been sold, seeing as the Vaux brewery, and the very heart of Sunderland, has been closed down. As a Sunderland lass, born and bred, the smell of hops from the brewery was part of my childhood.... hmm... that could explain a lot... barman! another pint, over here, now!
Steve tells Jim he's paid off his VAT bill and Jim's quite chuffed that his son seems to be back on the straight and narrow, not realising that Steve plans to continue smuggling cheap baccy in from abroad with his prison buddy, Lee.
Maxine is getting stressed and making all sorts of plans and demands for her wedding. Should she have a dress that is understated sophistication or something more to suit her personality: pink and fluffy? Hayley offers to make her wedding dress for her, but Maxine talks her way out of it and asks Hayley to make the bridesmaid's dresses instead. There's a great line in the Kabin when Sharon and Rita talk to Maxine about wedding dress memories. "Rita's got a whole rack!" says Sharon. Ashley decides he wants his real mum at the wedding and wants to set about trying to find her. Maxine isn't so sure it's a good idea.
And that's just about that for this week. Roy has had some sterling one liners this week, but unfortunately I missed most of them. Linda McCartney veggie sausgages were to blame, and that's all I'm going to say.
Glenda :-)
Read my on-line newspaper - THE DAILY .DOT
