Happy New Year, I hope you had a good one, whether you were snowed in in Canada, stuck halfway up a mountain in New Zealand or on a far away beach in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. From where I celebrated, we could actually see the Greenwich Meridian as the Royal Observatory had been kind enough to put up a laser to show us exactly where it was. It was amazing seeing all those fireworks all over the world, so much firepower uniting the world (with the notable exception of Grozny) in a spirit of hope for the future, if only for a few hours.
It was another bumper week of excitement on Coronation Street this week, with an extra hour-long episode on New Year's Day and an extended 45 minute episode the following day, featuring just 2 characters. So once again, apologies if this update is a little longer than normal.
Audrey breaks the news of Sergei's proposal over breakfast to Alma and Alma is shocked to hear that she didn't immediately say no and is still contemplating it. Alma thinks he's only a gold-digger and tells Gail who also tries to talk her mother out of it, but Audrey is feeling old and unloved and feels that if there's a chance at happiness with someone to look after her, then maybe she should take it. 'Let me find what pathetic bit of happiness I can, where I can' she says. Sergei has made Audrey a special luch, but she's been busy at work all day and so doesn't arrive home until the evening. She finally seems to have realised that she can't say yes and tries to talk some sense into Sergei, but then the Liverpool police turn up with an Immigration Officer and cart him away.He has been lying to Audrey, his ship left the previous day and he has overstayed his welcome. It looks as though Fred was right all along and Sergei only wanted to marry Audrey so he could stay in the country.
Linda has moved out and is sleeping on Nita's couch and Mike is distraught without her, it really seems he's got it bad and Linda is more than just a trophy. Linda returns to the flat to pick up her costume for the New Year's Eve party and Mike tries to smooth things over, but she tells him he's selfish and leaves. He goes to see her later at the factory, which is being used as a changing room, and pleads with her to reconsider, but she tells him it's over. Over a maudlin pint in the Rovers later on, Mike tells Mark how much Linda means to him and as he can't bear to face her again, asks Mark to close the factory and lock up for the night. Linda is still there and Mark has a go at her about his dad, but they end up in a clinch and as midnight strikes to welcome the new year, they are making love on the factory floor. Mike returns to the factory, unaware of what has gone on between Mark and Linda, and declares that he wants the two of them to be his partners, his son in the business and Linda in marriage. They go back to the flat for champagne and Linda stops the night, but she still hasn't given Mike an answer. He thinks she's just playing him along, so he gets a real shock when she announces that she's moving back to Nita's to think things over. Meanwhile Mark is very pleased at the news as he doesn't want her to marry him as he keeps telling her. It seems to me that the young lad is a little jealous.
Leanne is desperate for money to pay off her ever-increasing debt to Jez, who is really piling on the pressure and she manages to get 20 quid out of Janice, but it's not going to be anywhere near enough. Steve advises her that Jez knows some very nasty people and she'd better sort things out quickly, but she's way out of her depth. If Leanne can't pay in cash, then Jez tells her she can pay in kind and tells her to leave the door open at the Rovers when she locks up after New Year's Eve. She refuses, but Jez won't take no for an answer, even threatening to hurt Toyah and she evetually tells him where Natalie keeps the takings. She later relents and tries to get out of it by sleeping with Jez, but it's too late, his men have already been despatched and he can't stop them now. The burglars are already in the pub when Leanne locks up and she screams the house down as she catches them in the bar. Natalie and Vinny both hear her, but Vinny's outside (he's been acting rather secretively, wrapping up a present and sneaking off) and Natalie is grabbed by one of the burglars while the other chases after Leanne and hits her with a baseball bat. The burglars flee empty handed, punching Vinny and knocking him over in the backyard on their way out. 'Oh please God, not again!' cries Natalie as she cradles Leanne's head in her lap. Leanne is still unconcious the following morning and the hospital are running tests, but pretty soon she comes round and is given the all-clear, though she needs plenty of rest and will be kept in for observation for a couple of days. Les is convinced that his daughter has thwarted a robbery and is a heroine and quickly sees the opportunity of some free beer from Natalie, who surely must be grateful. Toyah meanwhile asks her sister if she recognised her attackers, knowing that there's more to this than Leanne is saying, but Leanne acts dumb, unaware that Jez is lurking in the corridor. Vinny tells the police that when he would normally be checking the toilets before closing up, he was with a woman friend in Salford. When the police have gone, Natalie is livid at the idea of sharing her man and Vinny explains that it was his daughter's 18th birthday and he doesn't see her and her mother very much. Natalie is still mad, but now because he hadn't told her about his daughter before. Women eh, never satisfied.
Things are hotting up for the Millennium Street Party, but Roy still hasn't got permission from the council to close the road off. In a hark back to Ken's older, more militant days, he tells Roy that if they can't get permission sorted out, then they'll just Reclaim the Street and he sorts out some traffic cones from Freshco. Everyone's mucking in to get the Street set up for the party. Ken's put up a photo-montage in the pub full of Street faces from the past (does Tyrone really look like Uncle Albert?), there's an awning going up in case it rains, a stage for Les to run his disco/karaoke from, stalls selling food and sideshows and Emily keeps all the volunteers supplied with mugs of tea and Tunnock's Tea Cakes.
On New Year's Eve, most of the Street dress up (see below) and have a whale of a time. Gwen has had to drop out of her stage appearance with Janice, Linda and Hayley because of food poisoning and Deirdre is roped in at the last moment to become the 4th member of the fake ABBA tribute band 'FABBA' to perform a lovely version of 'Waterloo'. Rita is roped in to sing 'On The Street Where You Live', Tyrone, who can't get his astronaut's helmet off, wins the fancy dress competition and he also gets an absolute smacker of a kiss off Toyah at midnight (once he's got rid of his helmet). Fred is happily selling his reindeer stew to the party-goers, but when Ashley tells Maxine what it is, she tells everyone else and Fred is dragged over to the stocks and pelted with wet sponges. Audrey takes special delight in soaking Fred as Maxine tells her it was Fred who told the authorities where Sergei was. As Fred is released from the stocks, another victim is sought and Les is locked into them, but when Janice asks Roy to let him out later on, he claims to have lost the key, though he has it all the time.
Kevin decides to have another go at getting Alison back and heads off to Morecombe with her engagement ring on New Year's Eve. Alison is still adamant that she will not come back with him, but when he asks her if she still loves her, she can't deny that she does and although she says no to his marriage proposal, she agrees to come back with him and try again. Once Alison has settled back into their flat, Kevin suggests they ought to tell her mam about the baby, but alison thinks not and would rather they keep it to themselves for the moment.
Martin is still infatuated with Rebecca and goes to see her in her new nurse's flat and they drink to the future, but her husband, Jerry, turns up and thinks there's something more going on and Martin throws him out. Martin tries to ring her on New Year's Eve, but he can't get through to her, so he slips away from the party and goes to see her, but Rebecca sends him away saying 'We've got one marriage on the rocks, we don't need two'. The following morning Gail tells Martin that she thinks they should take the opportunity of the New Year to wipe the slate clean, forget what's happened between them recently and make a fresh start. She must be joking!!!
At 2 in the morning, just as Curly is in the kitchen mixing up something to try and help him avoid too bad a hangover, there is a knock on his back door. He thinks it's just the lads and shouts at them to go away, but the knocking persists and he opens it to see Raquel, his estranged wife. Curly hopes that she has returned for him, but although she says she still cares for him, she says she doesn't love him the way he wants and she can't some back. Her first bombshell is that she and Curly have a daughter (Alice Diana Watts - b 23/7/97), although she didn't know she was pregnant when she left and she didn't tell him about it because she didn't want him chasing after her to Kuala Lumpur. Curly is over the moon that he's a father, but very annoyed that she hadn't told him about her, especially as she returned to England to have the baby and stayed with her sister. In his anger, he makes cruel insinuations, asking if she's really his, but Raquel assures him there was nobody else and that she's told Alice all about her father and she's looking forward to meeting him. On a visit to the bathroom, she takes a look round her old home and sees that very little has changed, her old dressing gown is even still hanging on the back of the bedroom door (it really must be hanging if it's been there for over 3 years).
As they look at the star that Curly bought for her, he says he's prepared to forgive and forget and that they can start again, but she drops her second bombshell when she tells him there's someone else. When she was in hospital having Alice, she befriended a French couple, the wife of which was dying of cancer. She's been working as a nanny looking after their 2 children as well as Alice and now lives in a chateau, 'a real one, detached and everything', in the Loire valley (she even speaks fluent french and knows a bit about wine). The wife died 2 years ago and since then she's helped put Armand, the husband, back together again, got him loving his children again and the pity she felt for him when his wife first died has blossomed into love. Curly realises that the next thing she'll be asking for is a divorce, which she duly does and she knows he'll give her one, because he's a nice bloke who still loves her and wants her to be happy. She finally drops her third bombshell, announcing that she's pregnant and needs to be married in case the child is a boy, for inheritance purposes. Curly opines 'Why can't it be me, why can't it ever be me', but as Raquel predicted, Curly agrees to the divorce and seems to be finally accepting that it's over. She says she wants Alice to get to know her real father and that he can come over to France any time and that when she's older, she can come over and stay with him during the holidays and they set the first visit for Easter. As dawn is starting to break, she says goodbye and leaves by the back door with tears in her eyes.
Finally, Blanche has announced that she's put her flat up for sale so she can move up north to be with Deirdre and Ken. They don't seem too pleased about the prospect, but predictably, Blanche acts the martyr and they are forced to concede.
So who was who at the Millennium Street Party?
Linda, Janice, Hayley and Deirdre - FABBA; Les - Elvis; Tyrone - Astronaut; Spider and Toyah - Adam and Eve; Ken - Sherlock Holmes; Emily - Florence Nightingale; Martin and Gail - Laurel and Hardy; Sarah-Louise - Baby Spice; David - Dracula; Curly - Tommy Cooper; Jim - Long John Silver; Steve - 40's Spiv (actually he looked alot like Dave Smith, the bookie from the Street in the 60s); Fred - Henry VIII, Ashley and Maxine - Anthony and Cleopatra; Roy - Edmond Arkwright (inventor of the bevelled flange, which revolutionised the cotton industry, apparently); Danny and Sally - clowns; Norris - Genghis Khan (maybe, it wasn't made entirely clear); Blanche - Carmen Miranda (who had the cheek to say of Deirdre - 'What on earth does she look like at her age'); Burglars - Tony Blair and Margaret Thatcher.
That's all for this week, I'll see you for my final weekly update same time next week.
Barry Smith
Glenda has returned from her trip all tanned and healthy looking and so this will be my final update to you all, at least for a while, always assuming Glenda would have me back. Thanks to all the people who sent me kind words of encouragement, I hope you've all enjoyed reading these updates as much as I've enjoyed writing them, though I really think that Glenda is an absolute star for doing them week in, week out. So without further ado as I sit here drinking some 'Fairtrade' coffee, munching on 'Scooby Snacks' and listening to Suede, here's what's been going on down Coronation Street.
Now that Leanne has regained conciousness the police interview her, but she tells them she has no idea who did the robbery. As soon as the police have left, the evil Jez, who has been lurking in the corridor, goes in to see her and tells her that he'll forget about the money that she owes him as long as she doesn't grass him up. Leanne returns to the Rovers and wants to go back to work immediately, but Natalie insists that she rests some more until she's fully over her trauma and puts an advert in the newly refurbished Kabin (now offering dry cleaning, film processing and coach trips) for some part-time help behind the bar. Unaware of his daughter's real involvement with the robbery, Les is a proud father and contacts the local paper to get some publicity in the hope that someone can help identify the perpetrators. Meanwhile, Toyah suspects the involvement of Jez and quizzes Steve about it and gets abruptly told to leave it alone. She hints to Les that her sister has been hanging around with some really dodgy characters and so Les too goes in search of Steve who points the finger in Jez Quigley's direction. When he mentions him to Leanne, he gets a very short 'No, don't' from her, so he goes off in search of him. In one of the pubs he goes into to ask about him, he is thrown out by a landlord who says he doesn't want his kind in the pub and Les realises that this Jez is a really nasty piece of work. When Leanne goes back to work, everybody from Fred to Gail congratulates her on the way she fought off her attackers. All this indeserved praise gets too much for her and she runs out of the bar and into the back room. Natalie follows her and tearfully, Leanne tells her everything. Having been through it all before with her son Tony, Natalie gets very angry with Leanne and tells her to get out of her sight.
Having thought things over and talked it through with Nita, Linda accepts Mike's proposal and no time is lost in purchasing a large solitaire for her finger, which gets flashed to all and sundry in the factory and the pub, including Alma of course who is clearly upset by the revelation. Mark is unhappy with the situation and threatens Linda with telling Mike about their fling on the factory floor, but she is more than a match for him and asks him who he thinks Mike, or even the police, would believe.
Rebecca issues Martin with an open invitation to call round to her flat and to her surprise, he wastes no time in taking her up on her offer as they indulge a passionate (though surprisingly not very sweaty) session together, even though they both know that it is wrong. Rebecca tells him that her eyes are wide open, she knows what she's getting into and she doesn't want to be possessive and they get down to business again. Martin doesn't like the deceit required to continue their relationship, but wants to carry on anyway.
Rita meets Alison outside the Kabin and tells her she's pleased to see her back and that her lips are sealed. All her old workmates from the factory are pleased to see her too and Linda pulls some strings with the boss to get her her old job back. In the meantime though, Kevin has been talking to Gary, who is looking for somebody to look after the twins, until he can get a place for them in a council nursery and suggests Alison. When he tells her, she tells him about the factory job, but she is really pleased that he had no qualms about her looking after children. Sensing a change in their relationship, Kevin pops the question again and this time Alison accepts. When they tell Sally about their engagement, she is glad for them, but when they tell her that Alison is pregnant, she is less glad and confides in Gail that she is worried that the new baby will result in Kevin forgetting the two children he already has.
Duggie is trying hard to sell new units in the Victoria Street development and although he's making a nice profit from the builders, Roy is concerned about the possibility of competition from other catering establishments. Duggie couldn't care less and will let them to anyone as long as he can turn a profit. He tries to rent one to Dev, who isn't interested, but Dev has other worries. An old girlfriend, Amy, from Birmingham has turned up and he makes it clear that she is not welcome, before throwing her out of the corner shop. She still loves him and gets in quite a state, ending up in tears out on the street. A helpful Norris takes her to the Rovers to calm down and cheer up and when she asks Natalie for a job she is taken on immediately.
Natalie has been acting a little cold towards Vinny since he revealed he had a daughter, but they talk about it and Vinny tells her that when he went round to see her on New Year's Eve, she didn't want to know him. They make up and over breakfast, Vinny suggests that they go on holiday, but Natalie is not yet convinced that it's a good idea.
Jim invites Gwen round for Sunday dinner, so he does and opens up to her about his accident and his ex-wife running away with his physiotherapist. In turn Gwen shocks him by telling him that her husband used to hit her. Jim is very uncomfortable about the revelation and the evening finishes abruptly without even a goodnight kiss. Jim talks to Steve about it and he surprisingly suggests that his father is honest with her and explain about the time he hit Liz. When Gwen comes round to try and clear the air, he does this and after a heated argument, she storms out after telling him she never wants to be involved in a violent relationship again.
Bye bye
Barry Smith
Hi folks, happy new year! I'm back from my jaunt overseas looking all brown and lovely, trying not to shiver in the cold North Eastern winter as I recall lying on the beach in Maui a short while ago. My sincere thanks go to Barry Smith for doing, what I'm sure you will agree, was a splendid job with the weekly updates in my absence. Anyway, without further ado, here is this week's Coronation Street update.
Emotions run high in the Battersby family after Les confronts evil Jez who tells him the truth about Leanne and cocaine. Back on the Street, Janice blames herself and wails "this is my worst nightmare come true" and there's tears everywhere. There's a brilliant scene between Leanne and Les in the back room at the Rovers, where Les, with tears in his eyes, tries to control his anger and despair towards his daughter. Anyway, Leanne tells all to Natalie who says if Leanne wants to keep her job, she's got to get herself into counselling. With no choice but to do what Natalie suggests, off Leanne goes to the counsellor but sits and sulks all the way through the session and argues with the counsellor bloke when she discovers he's a smoker. Back at the Rovers, Leanne faces up to the truth that she's desperately unhappy and reaches for another wrap of cocaine. She turns it in her hand and then throws it away before adopting the Bet Lynch pose - straightening herself up, putting on a big smile and walking to the bar saying "What can I get yer?". Later, in the back room of the Rovers she collapses in tears to Janice and Toyah to tell them she's ready to go back to the counsellor. Big hug time.
In the Kabin, Rita's feeling a little tired so Norris advises a 'power nap'. "What? You mean have 40 winks?" she says. Anyway, she packs herself off to see Mavis in the Lake District for a bit and leaves Norris in charge of things.
Natalie and Vinny go off on holiday to Tunisia and leave the Rovers in Jim's capable hands and with new barmaid Amy working behind the bar. What's going on with Amy though? She appears from nowhere (well, Birmingham, but it's much the same) with an accent that can't decide if it's Northern or not, tells Dev she's having his baby, tells everyone else she and Dev are engaged, and frankly, gives me the creeps. Dev is getting sick of her, that much is obvious, and it's clear he would rather she hadn't turned up in the first place so he calls her bluff. "For the baby's sake, I'll marry you" he tells Amy. "You just have to prove the baby exists".
Over at the factory, Mike finds out that Alison is pregnant and isn't best pleased to think he'll be losing one of his workers, so he tells Mark to fire her, which he doesn't. He tells his dad if he wants him to be a partner, he'll do things his way. Anyway, Mike goes off on business and it looks like he might be away overnight, providing maximum opportunity for Mark and Linda to get together one more time. However, Linda tells Mark she isn't going straight home, she's going out with the girls instead, but it's just a ploy so that she won't have to spend time alone with him in the flat. Mark questions Linda and tells her he has real feelings for her, poor lad, it's all too much for him so he packs his bags, leaves the flat and arranges with Norris to move into Sharon's old flat above the Kabin.
Martin goes to see Rebecca in her nurse's flat but while he's there, he's feeling paranoid, ("I think someone knows what's going on between us") and guilty ("What would Gail say if she could see me now?"). He leaves without as much as a peck on the cheek for Rebecca, as confused as only a bloke could be who's going through a mid-life crisis. Anyway, later at the hospital, Rebecca and Martin are chatting together and Martin leans over and starts kissing Rebecca's neck. When he looks up, he sees Leanne Battersby walking past, en-route to the outpatient department to have her headaches checked out. Martin is sure Leanne has seen him and tries to broach the subject with her later in the Rovers, but either Leanne really didn't see them both or she's calling Martin's bluff, I don't know, but she did quite a convincing job of denying seeing him.
Gwen and Jim's relationship gets passionate although he's nervous at first as it's been such a long time since he's been with a woman, so it has. He opens up to Gwen about his violence towards Liz. Jim gives Gwen his phone number but when he asks Gwen for hers, at first she declines and then she says she's been disconnected, so Jim gives her money to pay the bill.
Alison and Kevin set the date for the wedding for next Saturday at Weatherfield Registry office. Kevin goes round to invite Sally, bland Danny and the girls to the reception and there's a scene with more unsaid than is said between Kevin and his ex-wife, more on that next week, I reckon. Kevin asks Jim to be his best man and Alison asks Linda to be her witness.
And that's about that for this week. Glenda ;-)
Here I am again, drinking lemonade and eating chocolate biscuits on a frosty Tuesday afternoon. And they're not just any old chocolate biscuits, you understand, they're terrific Tunnocks, oh yes indeed. And it's not just any old Tuesday afternoon. It's a cosy afternoon in an enjoyable week during what my University lecturers call 'inter-semester week' (but what we students call 'holiday). So, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update. It hasn't been a very exciting week on the Street, not a lot happening at the moment, well, not really...
Mad Amy from Birmingham spins her web of lies, trying to turn everyone against Dev as she continues with the tears behind the bar in the Rovers. She tells Dev she can't get proof of her pregnancy as the hospital scan wasn't working properly, and lays on the sob story to anyone who'll listen that Dev has told her to have an abortion. It's only Nita who realises what Amy is up to and she soon has a word with the mad one in the Rovers, telling her she knows what she's up to missy, and don't you forget it. It gets too much for mad Amy to bear so she storms out of the pub in mid-flow of pulling a pint for Les who says sympathetically: "Women, eh? Can't live with 'em. Can't shoot 'em". Amy gets into her car and drives off into the night as Dev tries to ask her what's going on, before remembering he doesn't really care anyway.
Duggie has been let down by the builders for his Victoria Street project and needs a quality replacement, a building firm of integrity and professionalism, offering value for money - so why on earth he decides to take on Steve McDonald and Pat the builder, I really can't say. Pat demands on a 50-50 deal with Steve, who agrees, and the pair of them are quite chuffed they've got themselves some work.
Leanne goes back to see her counsellor and talks out her problems with him, realising it's her sad and lonely existence in a back street boozer that led her to became a junkie during the course of the last four weeks. And that's about it for that storyline really apart from a nice little scene in the Rovers when Les comes in to see his daughter, holds her hand and tells her she had him scared.
Rebecca and Martin continue their game of doctors and nurses at the hospital, arranging a day to Liverpool together on a 'training course' (nudge nudge, wink wink). Rebecca's husband, Jerry, turns up at the hospital and finds the two lovebirds enjoying a a quick break together and has a few words to say to them both. Rebecca argues with him and he walks away with a smirk on his face, knowing full well what he's going to do next. He drives straight to Gail's house and tells her what her husband has been up to with his wife. Gail listens to him with her hands on her hips, doesn't believe him and soon sends him packing. When Martin comes in from work later that evening, she tells him Jerry has been round with his accusations. Martin acts all innocent and Gail gives him a kiss saying Jerry's lies won't get them down: "As long as we love each other, he can't touch us". Wake up and smell the hospital canteen coffee, Gail.
It's the night before Kev and Alison's wedding and she's out on her hen-night with the factory girls in the Rovers. Kevin takes himself round to see Sally and you know it's going to end in tears when Sally gets the red wine out and the pair of them sit down and chat about old times. Anyway, the conversation becomes a little heated and the pair of them start arguing over who did what to whom way back then and why it all happened and how it all ended and then Kevin goes and says it: "The hardest thing I ever had to do was get used to not being married to you". (You should've thought about that then Kev, when you were giving Natalie one). So, mellowed by the wine, and with Kevin laying his cards on the table like that, the pair of them are upstairs and at it before you can say.. er... um.... well, something quite short anyway. The pair of them come downstairs and back into the dining room with clothes awry and hair tousled before Kevin leaves. As he walks out of Sally's arms and away from her house, he bumps into Alison and takes her hand to walk her back to their flat. Despite it all, the first Corrie wedding of the century goes ahead at the registry office, with the bride radiant and the groom doubtful. Linda does Alison's make-up, so it's not what you'd call subtle and Rosie and Sophie make lovely little bridesmaids. Kevin and the new Mrs. Webster go off on honeymoon to the Lakes, while the old Mrs. Webster moans to Gail in the cafe about her 'moment of madness' and Gail advises her to forget it.
And finally, Mike and Linda (sporting a wonderful zebra print jacket with matching handbag) pop into the Rovers for a drink before going out for dinner. In the pub, they bump into Mark and his girlfriend Claire and Mike invites them along to dinner too although it's obvious that neither Linda nor Mark want to spend the evening in each other's company. In the restaurant, Mark excuses himself and goes to the toilet - closely followed by Linda who swans in there after him. "You can't come in here" he says, pointing out there's a picture of a man on the door, to which Linda replies: "As far as I'm concerned, that's only a recommendation". Oooh.. what a brilliant tart she makes, great stuff. She plants a passionate kiss on a startled Mark and waltzes out of the toilet, back to the table and tells Mike she's not feeling very well and wants to go home.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda :-) Don't forget to visit Spider's Web! http://zen.sunderland.ac.uk/~aa8gyo/spidersweb.html (As recommended by all good Channel 4 late night chat show hosts).
