4 April 2000

Hello folks. You find me this week tired and happy after a celebratory weekend. As I write, the weather outside has turned decidedly nasty, with gusty winds so strong (not me, the weather) that the local telly transmitter has been knocked out of service (fortunately, after I'd watched Corrie). As the telly's on the fritz, I'm listening to the new Kirsty MacColl CD as I write, sipping on spring water with an early night on the horizon and a plan to never drink again.. well.. not in these shoes anyway. Oh, thanks to all who emailed about Maxine's cat - it was an episode I missed over Christmas but the cat was mentioned in the update which Barry Smith wrote in my absence. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Trying to come to terms with Tony's death, Nat starts downing brandy for breakfast, losing her temper along with her self-control behind the bar of the Rovers. She's a mess and there's nothing anyone can do tomake her feeldifferent. That is, of course, until Duggie has a word with her. He knows what she's going through and his kind words help, although Vinny isn't best pleased to find out that Duggie's organising the funeral with Nat's permission. Anyway, the funeral takes place and Nat's ex-husband turns up but so does Colin Barnes (Des' brother) and there's a bit of a kerfuffle at the graveside as Colin vents his hatred of Tony in front to everyone, including DI Reynolds who looks on interestedly as he's mooching about.

Now I like Gwen, as you know, but she's digging a hole for herself, she really is. She gets a visit from the debt collector who tells her that her debt is being sold on to another company, one who's strong arm tactics are just that little bit stronger, with arms a little bit longer. Scared, she flits to Jim's place and surprises him by saying she wants to move in with him. Now. Wait, there's more. Thinking it'll keep the debt collection agency off her back if she changes her name, she tells Jim she's going back to using her own name of Gwen Davies. And as Jim gets all lovey and smoochy, chuffed to bits that he's got someone to love, look after and look after him, he pulls Gwen towards him for a hug. Now that she's moved in, with her bin bags and secrets, Gwen does that face, you know, that look that says more than words (or scriptwriters) ever could.

So, now that Gwen's moved in, Steve's thinking it's about time he got himself somewhere else to live, and over at the Kabin, as Vikram's tarting about with the chocolate Easter Eggs (alas, I was sad to note there was no sign of a Tunnocks one with bite size caramel lovelies inside) the pair of them startle Nita by telling her that Steve's going to be moving in with them as a lodger.

Audrey sets Pat to work catching the mice in the salon and she's quite disturbed when he tells her he's caught ten of the pesky little mites, but reluctantly hands over 50 quid anyway. Tyrone's quick to catch on to Pat's nice little earner, telling him he knows he's placed the mice there himself, but when Tyrone tries the same trick in the Kabin, Rita realises what's going on, throws him out and exposes Pat's game so he ends up giving Audrey her money back. (Pat and Tyrone were a natural double act in this nice little scene).

A strange storyline brews when Collette (the woman from Curly's single's dinner last week) turns up in the Rovers asking Curly what he thinks he's playing at. She's had a note put on her car windscreen too, as if it were from Curly, asking her to meet him at Freshco. Curly denies any knowledge of the note and off she goes, but it doesn't end there. He parks his car outside of his house and when he gets up the next day, it's moved down the street. And again the next day. So he clamps it. Everyone thinks he's quite mad, of course, but Curly knows there's something strange going on, especially when Collette storms into the Rovers a second time demanding to know why Curly has sent her a bunch of flowers that he's got no knowledge of...

Over at the café, Gail gets a visitor in the shape of Neil Fearns' dad (a man with all the presence of a string salesman), demanding to know if it's true that his son is responsible for Sarah Lou being pregnant. Give him his due, as a representative of the Fearns family, he was keen to help out and take responsibility for the baby, but Gail wouldn't have it. She thanked him kindly, told him to make his own way out and close the door behind him. During the mother's day episode, Gail had to sit and talk to Sarah Lou, pointing out a few home truths about responsibility for the baby, after Sarah Lou assumed Gail would be the one changing its nappy, feeding and burping it.

The factory girls are revolting in the factory. Linda's on her high horse, but all due to her, she's got her business head on along with her power suit and starts pontificating on cost benefit analysis (what?). She's in full managerial flow, which is impressive for Mike and great for business but it's beginning to irritate the girls. Led by Janice, an emergency meeting ("war counsel") is called in the Rovers to discuss strategy. There can only be one way to deal with Linda's nit-picking. Up the workers; everybody out!

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda ;-)


11 April 2000

I'm sitting here writing this week's update wearing my black armband, because, well, I'm sure you've all heard the news by now - he's leaving. He was the best and most unique character to hit the Street in years, the man more yummy than yam bake, more lovely than lentil lasagne and more sexy than a squishy bacon butty (hey, after being a veggie for the last 18 years, I remember what's sexy and I don't half miss it). It's a sad day indeed. Spider Nugent, eco-totty extraordinaire, will be on his way later this year, travelling to pastures new and leaving Weatherfield far behind him. Coronation Street had experienced nothing like Geoffrey 'Spider' Nugent before, and I doubt if the cobbles will ever see anyone quite like him again. Post your goodbye messages to Martin Hancock now on the Spider's Web message-board at http://zen.sunderland.ac.uk/~aa8gyo/spidersweb.html. Anyway, before I start making free with the tears (ahem), I have to say that I missed one of the episodes this week when Corrie was delayed by the football. I didn't know the footy would be on so set the vcr to tape at the normal Corrie time before heading out for a night of good wine and good food with good friends. So, it's thanks to a little help from top bloke Barry Smith that I'm able to bring you, in full, this week's Coronation Street update.

Emotions run high in the back room of the Rovers (when did they not?) with Vinny and Natalie's relationship pulling apart at the loose seams that were only just holding them together in the first place. While Debs and Duggie are concerned for Nat, Vinny manages to stand around a lot with his hands on his hips looking (gorgeous but) useless. He can't get through to help her and things are further strained when the pair of them go to Deb's house for dinner and it's only Duggie that seems to be able to reach out and understand what Nat's going through. Things go from bad to worse for Nat when the policeman turns up at the Rovers telling Nat that they've taken Des' brother Colin in for questioning over Tony's murder. But it doesn't end there, there's more, next thing you know, Colin turns up at the Rovers telling Natalie there's only way to prove he's not Tony's murderer and he's got an alibi to prove it - he was in bed with Natalie at the time of Tony's death. In tears and turmoil, Nat accepts Colin's word, and knows she has to tell Vinny the truth. He's as troubled by all of this as she is but reacts in a different way, flying at her, demanding to know who else in the pub she's slept with. Nat slaps him across the face and the pair of them are in a state. "Bedding Des' brother.." he spits "..that was a lousy thing to do" ...while on the other side of the door, Leanne listens intently.

Over at the B&B, Tyrone's getting excited about his driving test. Jack warns the lad to take things easy, saying: "As far as your examiner's concerned you're a little old lady driving to church on a Sunday". Tyrone leaves the room bearing Jack's advice in mind, going: "Mirror, signal, manoeuvre. That was a charming sermon by the vicar this morning". There's another cracking moment just before Tyrone goes out for his test when Jack reminds him: "When you stop, put your hand brake on," and Vera chips in: "And when you start again, tek it off". Anyway, as he's taking his test, the examiner has a heart attack and instructs Tyrone to get him to the hospital as quick as he can. Of course, Jack just happens to be walking past and can't understand why Tyrone is speeding along and ignoring all his advice about driving carefully. In the B&B, Vera tells Jack she's found some mucky books (adult reading material, I think she must have meant) in one of the guest rooms.

Over at the factory, Linda sacks Bobbi for the amount of shoddy work she's producing. Janice hits the roof and heads straight for Mike's office to tell him the workers are "not going to be bossed around by some jumped up tart!". Linda is sent off to an appointment and Mike tells the girls to get back to work, before heading off for a meeting himself. He returns to find not one stitch of work has been done. He shouts at them all, saying it's his factory, he'll employ who he wants, do what he wants and won't be dictated to by the workers. In appreciation of his little speech the girls all leave and go to The Rovers. Bobbi offers to leave, but with the exception of Gwen the workers are united and Hayley thrashes out a plan of action. Having agreed to convince Mike that it's in his interests to take them back and take Linda down a peg or two, Hayley and Janice go back to negotiate. Meanwhile, Deirdre, wearing a pair of hideous white knee length boots, explains to Mike that she can't summon up a workforce from nowhere and Mark points out, just as Hayley and Janice arrive, that they can't afford to lose this order. Hayley shows off her negotiating skills by explaining to Mike the workers have got too many bosses telling them what to do and that he'd be best off by stopping Linda from interfering with production and getting her to concentrate on sales. Mike is convinced and the strike is over. They go to the pub to celebrate as Mike glumly sips his whisky at the bar. Linda returns from Leeds and is horrified to learn that Mike has undermined her authority. (Linda just gets better every week, pulling money out of her bra strap and running circles around Mike, wonderful stuff). Anyway, Mike offers Hayley the job of supervisor to which she sort of agrees, telling Roy: "I had to say yes 'cos I didn't know how to say no." but her extra duties come without any extra payment, just the promise of a bonus, a thumbs up from Deirdre and a patronising smile from Mark.

Vikram and Steve want to throw a party in the house and Nita isn't best pleased at first but then agrees, saying she's invited some of their 80 year old Aunties along to party on down with them. She tells Vikram she's happy for him to sell the house and split the proceeds so this party could be the last one they ever hold there. This storyline, I'm sure, is leading somewhere but by 'eck is was worth it just to hear Dev purr out the word 'paaarrrrrty' in that laid back, sexy as socks way he has.

Strange goings on over at Curly's house when he clamps his car overnight but still manages to get a speeding ticket for the car having been driven over the limit at 2am on the motorway. Most odd. He finds someone creeping around beside his car but is relieved to find it's only that nice policeman, Mr Cavanagh, who says he's checking the vehicle over (when he's clearly not). They go into Curly's house to discuss things further and while Curly's upstairs, plod takes his back door key and the next thing you know, Curly gets up on the morning to find his furniture rearranged downstairs with the dustbin on the table and the chair on the sofa, very strange indeed. Sgt. Emma Taylor pops round to take more details and is not too surprised to hear that her colleague Cavanagh has already been involved somehow in the strange goings on.

Martin's back from his training course and is now promoted to charge nurse. Both Gail and Rebecca are after his body, heaven only knows why, the man is a complete idiot. Acting cold towards Gail, he heads off to the hospital only to upset Rebecca by saying he can't stay as he wants to have dinner with the kids at home. When he returns home, he finds that Audrey has whisked the kids off for the night to allow Gail and Martin some time alone together, so he sulks, pushes his lovingly prepared food away from him and stomps upstairs in a Kevin-the-teenager sort of way. Things continue like this with Rebecca upset that he won't spend time with her in her sad and lonely room in the nursing home, as Gail calls him on the mobile and he rushes straight back home for tea.

The Victoria Street development is just about finished now and Danny and Sally take possession of their unit (and each other) after Duggie gives them the keys, then it's back to the Rovers to drink a champagne toast to each other. And why not?

Les starts his community service in the local park, taken in completely by a fishy tale about there being a crocodile in the lake. On plant watering duty, he spots Tyrone out walking Monica without her lead on and points out the dog walking rules to Tyrone, having a go at the lad for not being able to read before spraying him with water from the hose pipe. Tyrone plans his revenge.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda ;-)


18 April 2000

I bring this week's update to you from a different email account in a secret location. It might be the Easter vacation from Uni, but for the following three weeks I'm... well, let's say I'm on special projects. Oh yes, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more and all that. I should, of course, be revising for my exams after Easter while I have this time away from studies, but life is much too exciting and a little bit more terrifying than it was when I sat down to write the update to you this time last week, so if I don't send an update to you next week, you know the commies have got me and I've been smothered by a poster of Brian Tilsley advertising Japanese lager. (And you think I'm kidding?). Anyway, before any of that happens, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Vikram, not one of my favourite characters, wants Dev to loan him the seven and half grand necessary for him to buy into the taxi cab firm with Steve McDonald. Dev won't lend him the money (well, would you?) and so with Nita's agreement, he puts their house up for sale, intending to use his share of the profits to get him into business. Jez Quigley (Tyrone's wicked older brother in another life, surely?) returns to the cobbles and overhears Vikram when he says Steve hasn't got the money to put into the cab firm business either, so he sort of mooches around, offering cash, hoping he'll be in for a bit of the action, whatever it might turn out to be.

Nat gets interrogated at the police station over her relationship with Colin Barnes and confirms Colin's alibi, with tears and regrets. When Nat and Vinny argue in the Rovers, Leanne tells Janice about Natalie sleeping with Colin. Janice tells Vera and Vera tells Audrey and it all gets back to Nat, who assumes it's Vinny who's spilt the beans, although Leanne finally comes clean. Vinny, hurt and useless, wonders if he should just give up on Nat, unable as he is to reach her in her pain and unable to deal with her past. But Vinny being Vinny, he's still hopeful, although he's pretending like he's not. Nat gets Duggie to print some posters offering a ten thousand pound reward for information leading to the conviction of Tony's killer. One of the posters goes up in the Rovers and Jez Quigley goes queasy when he spots it, not unnoticed by Leanne, who later tells Steve she reckons it were 'im wot done it.

Martin and Rebecca? Well, it started off quite wet then I reckon it must have gone a bit tacky before the colour slightly changed as it dried off completely. Yes indeed, watching paint dry was preferable to enduring more of this piffle. So what did happen...? She said she was handing in her resignation and going off to work in Dubai, couldn't bear to be part of his life while not being part of his life, couldn't take it any more, he thought about it for a bit and said okay, then go, walk out the door, just turn around now, 'cos you're not welcome any more. I think there were tears, who cares?

A very odd storyline this week with Les being stranded on a lake in the park while on his community service, convinced there's crocodiles in the water (all 3' of it, in the middle of Manchester? Mmm... possible, I suppose, but then again.... nah). Waving for help across the lake, an old woman reports Les to the police, thinking he's flashing at her, and it's only when Tyrone comes by walking Monica and vouches for Les that the police let him off with a warning.

After having a word with Toyah in the cafe, Maxine decides she's going vegetarian. She also decides her fella and her Bella are going vegetarian too, and Ashley is not best pleased: "I'm a fella and I need me meat!". As you can imagine, when Fred finds out, he almost blows a gasket: "D'yer know yer grasping an 'erbivore t'yer bosom?" I say, he wonders what the world is coming to: "She'll be telling yer that carrots have feelings next!". Ashley thanks Maxine profusely for cooking a proper meal for him - sausage casserole - when he returns from work, declaring them the best sausages he's ever eaten - until she tells him he's just eaten veggie sausages!

Gwen's got designs on Jim... and his wallpaper, the paintwork and the furniture. She's wanting all new stuff, all done her own way, and to be fair to him, he does agree to a new bed. Well, the one he's got he's had for 20 years since he married Elizabeth so he reckons it's time for a new one.

Collette and Curly meet up in the Rovers to chat about this mysterious Cavanagh bloke who's been stalking them both. Curly offers to buy them both a curry so she goes back to Curly's house while he nips down the Balti Express. But, as Collete sits in the house alone, in walks Cavanagh, letting himself in with Curly's keys that he nicked last week. The bloke's obviously nutty and proceeds to give Collette a bit of a weird time. Fortunately Curly comes back with the poppadums in the nick of time, Cavanagh runs out into the street, brought to the ground by a flying rugby tackle from Duggie (great stuff). All's well that end's well anyway. Cavanagh gets nicked, Collette and Curly part as friends and Curly ends up on a date with Sgt. Emma just as he was getting resigned to nights in eating fish and chips for one while playing with his expanding telescope.

Hayley helps Sarah Lou with the costume designs for the school play. Trying to extend a hand of friendship, she's as nice as can be to Sarah Lou who turns and says: "What do you know about being pregnant Hayley?". Nothing, of course, but she does know all about being different and offers Sarah Lou some sage advice. And that's just about that for this week. Remember, if I don't check in this time next week, call the mounties. And send money, lots of it.

Glenda :-)

Say goodbye to Spider at Spider's Web


25 April 2000

Still on special projects here in the desert, I'll be rattling through the updates this week in order to get out of this damned place before they catch me. Fortunately, because of the Easter eggs I ate last weekend, I've enough silver paper (some of it blue, some of it red) to make a hat for myself so their messages can't reach me. Foiled them again. Put the kettle on, Ethel, I'll be home soon. Before I leave, as I can sense they're getting closer, here we go with a very quick and rushed Coronation Street update.

Curly tells Alma about girlfriend Sgt. Emma and she approves. He goes off on a real date with Emma and tells her he's off to France soon to 'visit family' but doesn't tell her, not yet, that it's his daughter and ex-wife he's going to see. Of all the story lines that are going on right now, some are pretty naff (Gwen and Jim, so it is), some are downright stupid (Martin and Rebecca - come on down!) but Curly with a girlie is lovely to see.

Danny's brother helps out in the shop and it opens as D&S Hardware and DIY (tel 0161 710 6111 and ask for Sally). Duggie wants a big opening ceremony with a local celebrity - and offers himself, cheap like. He turns up in and gets out of the taxi in front of the shop to be snapped by the hacks from the Weatherfield Weekly Wotsit. Blanche is straight in there, checking out the cloths and moaning about the shabby chamois on sale.

Relations are strained between Fred and Ashley over this vegetarian business. Ashley stands by Maxine and tells Fred he's proud to be a veggie, to which Fred replies: "Have you been watching Babe again?!"

Now I used to like Gwen, but she's managed to wrap Jim around her little finger and is being way too manipulative for my liking these days. She manages to get a new bed out of him, fair enough, but before you can say 'I can't think of anything worse than spending any part of MY Easter weekend in B&Q', she's got new wallpaper, paint and the room all stripped, ready for action.

Over at the factory, Hayley's having a hard time as Gwen takes time off for shopping when she ought to be working. Hayley confides in Roy that she's not really cut out for this supervisory business: "I see meself more as the captain of the rounders team than Atilla the Hun". However, she does end up threatening Gwen with the sack if she doesn't pull her socks up and stitch her knickers quicker.

Evil Jez is hanging around, assuming that the money he's loaned Steve McDonald entitles him to his share of the taxi-cab firm that Steve and Vikram have just set up. Fortunately for Duggie, they've taken one of the new units in Victoria Street. Steve gets paid from Duggie, he offers Jez his money back but he won't take it. The pair end up in a tussle on the Street with Jez pushing Steve's face up to one of the Tony Horrocks reward posters, reminding Steve what happened to the last person who upset him. A brilliantly nasty piece of work is Jez.

Dev and Vik's Aunty Maya turns up to work in the corner shop, takes off her coat, gets to work and says: "Let's get this place sorted out then". Indeed.

And, oh yes, he's back this week. The lovely Spider made a reapparance in the show as the voice of militant vegetarianism with a very bad haircut.

Tyrone takes his driving test again, he's nervous as he's got the same examiner as last time. When the car breaks down on the test, he gets out to fix it, although it's "highly irregular" says the examiner. Never mind, he passes it and Jack is rightly proud of "our Tyrone".

Debs cooks dinner for Duggie and the two of them get all cosy over red wine and something hot. She swishes off upstairs while he's trying to uncork another bottle downstairs when panic strikes - and Duggie runs away. Sensitive as a woman can be to a man who's wife has died and he hasn't been intimate with anyone since and who pops round to see her the next day with a bunch of flowers to apologise - Debs tells him to get lost. The bitch! She calls him screwed up; she can't see past her own dented pride and quite frankly, not worthy of Duggie if you ask me. They agree to call it off, as do Nat and Vinny this week.

And that's about that for this week. Must dash now, there's a spaceship coming and it doesn't look pretty. More next week, if they haven't eroded me with their plinkzups. I'm scared, I really am.

Glenda


Written by Glenda Young Read my on-line newspaper - THE DAILY .DOT And don't forget Spider's Web !!


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