As it's International Women's Week this week (culminating in International Women's Day on Thursday 8th March) I'd like to say a special hello to all the female readers of the weekly Corrie update; bonjour, welkommen, bienvenue, chardonnay. And so, assisted by a cuppa hot tea and without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Usually, it's the back room of the Rovers where secrets are laid bare, passions declared and tears flow freely, but this week it's been the bus-stop. First off in there is Candice and Todd, snogging. It's dead good actually, is that bus stop for snogging. I've done it myself, no honestly, I have, that very one. Anyway, Todd's got a massive lovebite on his neck and despite trying to hide it with Elvis collars Eileen and Dennis notice it, as parents always do, no matter how much toothpaste you massage on it. Eileen's a bit concerned that Todd's first girlfriend is someone as, um, experienced as Candice and she insists that Dennis has a man to man chat with young Todd to put him right on a few matters. But Todd and Dennis haven't exactly bonded yet, or whatever it is that blokes do, and Dennis is left in no doubt that his advice is not wanted. As Sarah Lou twirls Candice's hair in preparation for tea at the Grimshaw's, young David, pretending to be engrossed by the troll bogey wand in his latest Harry Potter, eavesdrops on the girls' conversation, piping up only to tell Candice "You look like Lily Savage". David finds out that Candice is two-timing Todd with another young scally called Darren, and he's quick to spill the beans when Darren comes looking for Candice later. Darren confronts Todd who confronts Candice who finds herself dumped by two boyfriends in the space of two minutes. But all is not lost. She collars Todd in the cafe later to make up, telling him that she'd already dumped Darren, she just hadn't told him and she and Todd pick up where they started...
..which returns us to the bus-stop. The Barlow's, at the moment, is not a happy place with Ken and Mike still fighting over Adam. Ken offers to take the lad to football to see Weatherfield wallies play the Notown noddies. And just when Adam thought the day couldn't get any more exciting, Mike turns up with tickets to see Man Utd vs Leeds, and Adam goes off with his dad. Well, wouldn't you? Ken decides the only thing to do is move far away from Mike - to Scotland. He and Peter discuss the move and when Deirdre finds out she hasn't been consulted, she's not best pleased. Despite wearing those massive specs of hers, she didn't see that one coming. She's upset and distraught and decides to move out. She packs her bags, pulls her anorak to her chin and heads for the bus-stop, in tears. And then, wouldn't you know, delicious Dev stops at the bus-stop in his car, wipes away her tears and takes her back to his place. And that would be enough to cheer any woman up, even Deirdre.
Emma has the inquest this week into the shooting of Linda's brother in the Freshco siege, you know, that supermarket shoot-out that happened ages ago. Well, lawful killing is what's been decided and although Emma's relieved, Linda's brother Ryan is deeply disturbed. And when he finds out that his brother's killer lives across the road from the factory, he gets a nasty glint in his eye and hangs around the bus-stop looking for revenge. And then, spookily, one of those soap opera coincidences occur. Just as Emma has attracted this super loony scary person who's watching her every move, Curly shoots off on a business training course for two whole weeks, leaving Emma alone and more vulnerable to the sinister Sykes stalker.
It's Norris' 60th birthday and he's hinting like mad to everyone he meets that actually, he really would like to be made a fuss of. Rita and Emily organise a surprise party in Emma's house and the plan is for Anthony to take Norris to the Rovers for a drink before bringing him to the party where everyone will jump out, shout surprise! and make merry with a buffet. But things don't go to plan and what happens next is the best piece of Corrie comedy for years. Norris is hurt and upset that no one's in the Rovers to have a birthday drink, so he hops on a bus to "anywhere I'm appreciated" (see, it's that bus-stop link again) with Anthony in hot pursuit. The two of them end up getting very, very drunk and insulting each other's ties before swaggering back to the Street singing songs from The Mikado. Wonderful stuff that even made Anthony seem quite human.
Elsewhere on the Street, yawn yawn, Karen and Steve got caught snogging on the carpet when Vikram walked in unexpectedly. Ho-hum. They should've used the bus-stop instead.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
My heartfelt thanks go out to wonderful Janet Penney who has written last week's update for me after reading that I couldn't do it due to pressure of essay writing. What a star she is and here she goes....
Greetings to all!
I have the honour of reporting Corrie happenings for the week of 7-12 March, during which we celebrated the amazing 5,000th hour-long special episode of the world's favourite television show. Please bear with me if I forget one or two details as I'm writing this from memory, after volunteering just an hour ago. So, whilst Glenda knuckles down to the final weeks of her degree, let's enter the virtual world of Weatherfield.
First stop, the hairdresser's. I have no idea why the women are starting to look so shabby. Toyah has dyed her hair a sort of dark auburn. Obviously none of the other characters like it either as no one has bothered to compliment her as usually happens when we see a dramatic change in "do's". Perhaps she thinks it makes her look a bit more studious. I think she just looks really drab, but at least it's better than Audrey's.
As a hairdresser herself, she shouldn't have trimmed her own fringe. Someone (Maxine?) should tell her it goes two centimetres above your eyebrows, not two inches. And the style is surely suited more to someone Sarah Lou's age than someone who has officially reached retirement. Of course, Alma's reason for impersonating a shaggy bear has to be a general reluctance to let Audrey near. She could find another stylist, but then she'd have to find new lodgings, and I'm rather hoping Alma will wait for a permanent home with security guard Frank from the Freshco siege (though he's not featured in any episodes since her birthday).
And, do take a look at the Barlowe's bookcase in the background of numerous scenes this week. Couldn't the props department find any real books to put in there instead of that fake stuff they use in furniture shops?
But I digress. Let's get the minor storylines out of the way first. After several not-so-veiled hints from a few characters, Edna grills Blanche on whether she actually depresses people. Diplomacy not being one of her strong suits, Blanche agrees, telling her to brighten up and look for something positive to say in every conversation (perhaps Blanche will one day take her own advice!). A couple of funny scenes occur when Edna tried. Upon being told that someone had had his leg amputated, her version of a silver lining went something like "But on the bright side, he'll get twice as much wear out of his socks!"
The highlight for me this week was the Great Sausage Trail, the Elliott/Peacock dynasty's solution to increase trade (though in point of fact it was Boris - quickly becoming one of our favourites - who came up with the idea). Not one to let the grass grow under his feet, Fred is off to induce other Master Butchers to join in the competition which I rather think he envisages as a sort of May Fair for Meat. Once that's all set, he is outraged, I say, highly offended that Ashley and Boris are planning on entering their own recipe against his.
Duggie is getting fed up with having all the responsibility for the Rovers, what with Fred banging on about bangers and Mike otherwise involved in either Linda's clutches or fighting for Adam. Both have missed meetings he has called to straighten things out and it can only be a matter of time before he throws in the towel or bangs their heads together.
Ryan and brother Jimmy bound into Underworld, asking big sister Linda to subsidise the former whilst he searches for a job in London. Conveniently, Mike is out of the office, so Linda takes the opportunity to employ Ryan for general dogsbody duties, convincing her sceptical hubbie with her womanly charms. Ryan naturally uses the convenient location to spy on Emma, left on her tod while Curly is away on a course. He (Ryan) chooses his moment, when both the bus stop and the street are clear, and wham a brick goes through the front window.
Well, I for one would certainly welcome more Emma's into our local police force. What a girl! She calmly gets Danny to put in a new window, refuses to call Curly on the grounds that it would worry him, and has a few drinks (bottles) with Charlie, who insists on spending the night.
After being thwarted a couple of times, a deranged Ryan breaks in through the back, finds the bottle of vodka that Charlie somehow missed and proceeds to use a tire iron on the furniture to give the place that Battersby lived-in look. Then the phone rings. Emma comes downstairs from where she'd been taking a shower, and it would be hard to say whose eyes bugged out more. After a screaming bout worthy of winning Ryan second runner-up in the Corrie Bulging Neck Muscle Contest, Emma tells her stalker that she hadn't want to shoot Dean, but he left her no other option. She begs Ryan not to make the same mistake.
Just as the drink starts to affect him and his eyes flicker, Emma makes her move. However, Ryan is not as blotto as he appeared and somehow manages to break out of her wrestling hold. Emma jumps on his back and though Ryan twirls as daintily as bucking bronco, she maintains control. Throughout the exchange, Charlie has been ringing the doorbell (probably realised she hadn't touched the vodka). Getting no answer, she goes round to the back (as you do) and breaks in on the confrontation. Emma tells Ryan she won't turn him in, and he skedaddles. Charlie believes Emma is right off her rocker, as again she won't call Curly since this is exactly the type of situation she's been trained to deal with.
The next day, Linda notices Ryan react to a couple of officers arriving at the Watts residence and susses that something is up. She corners her little brother in the alley, actually shoving him up against a wall and worms the truth out of him. Though Emma has not revealed the attack to the police (though it's never actually explained why they were there - dropping her off work, maybe?), Linda comes over to give her apologies and her word that Ryan will never bother Emma again. All is forgiven, but surely not forgotten.
Of course, the main feature of the week has been the custody battle for Adam. Neither Mike nor Ken seem to realise that it's not actually a contest for a coveted prize, but the future of a young lad which is at stake. Dev convinces Mrs. Rachid to lend her support to Ken at the custody hearing. Another interested party is Adam. Behind Blanche's back, he swipes a fiver out of her purse and takes a taxi to the court, despite being told he couldn't.
After a lot of bad-mouthing and some low blows over each other's relationship with Susan inside the court room, things reach boiling point in the foyer. Mike had just finished screaming at Ken when the latter shrieked that the only reason he wanted Adam was as Mark's replacement for Linda! Cue Adam. Poor little tyke tells the social worker he has made up his mind who reveals in court that Adam has declared a preference to live with his dad. A later scene has Linda quite rightly demanding why on earth Maak would have ever told Ken the story of her affair with Maaak.
Deirdre feels sorry for Ken and stays the night on the couch (you'd think if he was trying to get her back, the least he would do is offer her his bed). Blanche comes down in the middle of the night for a cup of tea and screeches at the sight of her. No wonder. It's bad enough that Deirdre hasn't seen fit to change her outfit in four episodes, but this was just too, too much. We were aghast to see her still in that same red top bra-less. Oh, yuck! We all know she hasn't got much up top, but what little there was hung halfway to her waist. Even Dolly Parton doesn't sag that much. Note to the writers: Please no more crying scenes, foundation-less moments or love settings involving Deirdre - it's just too, too cruel to the viewers.
Right now that the shivers have left and I have maintained discipline over my stomach's contents, we can continue. Alma encourages Ken to cook Drear a lovely romantic dinner so that he can persuade her that she wasn't taken for granted. Then, egged on by a very frustrated Geena (wouldn't you be if the first person you saw in the morning was Deirdre?), Dev persuades Deirdre to smooth things out with Ken, even going do far as to donate an expensive bottle of red wine to the cause.
All is going well, Ken seems sincere in his apologies and sweet-talks Deirdre in returning to Number 1. She relents and they are momentarily truly happy. Until Ken happily chirps that now she can join in on the appeal to return Adam to the bosom (oh, no - the flashbacks!) of the Barlowe household!
Deirdre flings down her napkin. She obviously can't go home to mother, so stomps out to the next best choice - Dev! I can hardly wait to see Geena's face!
Janet
Hi folks, it's me again, back from working hard at Uni and with no deadlines on the horizon. My thanks go to Janet Penny for writing the first week's update. Last week's update is on its way, which for some of you will be wonderful and for others, judging by the amount of complaints I get whenever he does an update for me, won't. I did call CP to ask him where the update was but all I heard was "It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!" and then the phone, mysteriously, went dead. But I have been assured it's on its way and you'll receive it soon. But this week, it's me. So without any further ado, assisted by Australian red while listening to uncle Neil on the stereo, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
What is about Ken Barlow that makes him such a hit with the ladies? It's not looks, it's not power and it's certainly not his cardigans but whatever it is pulled both Deirdre and Alma this week. Deirdre's still at Dev's and still in tears over her fall out with Ken and Geena, as you'd expect is not best pleased. Ken, meanwhile, is growing close to his old flame, Alma. Over pub lunch the two of them chat and Alma admits it was her idea for Deirdre to return to him last week and tells Ken to "look into his heart" to find what, and whom, he loves most dearly. And there you have it. Next thing you know, Ken's at Dev's door holding a bottle of champagne with a rose between his buttocks singing "O Sole Mio" to Deirdre who stands there with her specs steaming up. Well, no, not exactly, because as you'd expect with Ken, it's a lot more subtle, less romantic, more boring. "We can get past this" says Ken. Well, they should know, they've had plenty of practice. And when he says "Please come home" it's all Deirdre can do to stop from melting and she can just about manage a tear choked "Ohken." But they are back together again, and say what you like about Deirdre, and I frequently do, it was good to see her happy.
So, you'd think, wouldn't you, that Geena would've been pleased to have delicious Dev to herself once more? Well, what happens next is that Vik and Bobbi find a woman in the flat above the corner shop. So, Bobbi tells Geena that Dev's got a bit on the side and up the stairs. Furious and in tears, Geena confronts Dev who has to admit that yes, there's a woman in the flat but no, he's not having an affair with her. It's a young Asian woman who works for Dev in one of his shops, fleeing from an arranged marriage and an angry family. Rescue-hero Dev has taken it upon himself to get involved in something that has nothing to do with him and agreed to let Sunita (for that is her name, adding to the ever expanding list of Street women who's name ends in letter a) stay in the flat until things settle down. Geena, while wondering what else Dev has kept from her, "you lie so well", finally understands and even offers to take Sunita for a girl's night out with her and Bobbi.
While the Street women this week have done a lot of crying, the men have been doing a lot of thumping. First off, Curly throttles Ryan when he finally finds out from Doc Ramsden what the lad put Emma through while he was away. Secondly, Martin and Sam have a set-to in the cafe and it's nothing that Martin doesn't totally deserve. David plays the part of an 'orrible little brother convincingly well, reads Sarah's diary and discovers some of her secret thoughts and fantasies - all about Sam. David tells Martin who assumes Sam has been having it away with Sarah. He then chucks a mental in front of Sam and the Platt household and although I've never liked Sam before, I had to admire him when he turned and walked out with a "you lot disgust me" thrown into the middle of the room. But Martin just won't let it lie and there's fisticuffs in the cafe when he has a go at Sam, but Sam proves too strong for him and Martin ends up face down in his egg and chips. Later in the Rovers, Kevin tries to calm Martin down with a pint and some sage advice while Gail comforts Sarah when she finds her burning her diaries in the garden and admitting that she made the whole thing up.
Over at the Rovers, Duggie double crosses Fred and Mike by managing to buy them both out of the partnership without them even realising they've been had. By the time they realise what's happened - they've lost money and Duggie is the new owner, Mike congratulates Duggie on being so sly while Fred refuses to partake of any of the beverages and walks out to partake elsewhere. Duggie breaks the news to the staff at the Rovers, impressing no one, especially not Betty. His management style is as subtle as his rugby playing was, as he tells Toyah: "I'm the boss now, you either like it or lump it and if you don't like it, you know where the door is."
Jason's won a scholarship to Lanzarote to do running, or something, but whatever it is he needs £500 sponsorship and Eileen hasn't got it. So, she does what every other working class mother does when she can't afford to further their child's education / interest / talent / genius, she simply says "We can't afford it, forget it" and that's the end of that. I know, I've been there, this storyline is painfully familiar, except for the running bit. Dennis offers to loan Jason some money towards what he needs, but Eileen won't hear of it, she refuses to be in the least bit supportive. But Jason has plans of his own and decides to raise cash by cleaning cars in the Street and it's something, I suppose, that Eileen gives him the money to buy a chamois cloth.
Curly and Emma cook Sunday dinner for the Doc and Charlie and Ashley and Maxine. Now, I don't particularly like Maxine, I never have, but I will not stand to see her humiliated by bitch woman Charlie who's just moved in and thinks she' s better than our Max because she's a teacher and Maxine isn't. So, they're all gathered for Sunday lunch and it's just about ready to serve when Curly realises he's forgotten to cook the meat. How convenient, then, that Ashley has some sausages he's prepared earlier. He nips home to get the sausages he's been preparing for the upcoming competition and solicits opinion on the bangers from the assembled group at Curly's. It's agreed, he's got a winner there, one sausage stands proud above the rest, but Ashley's devastated to find out it's the vegetarian one he made specially for Maxine.
Elsewhere on the street, Mike whisks Adam out of school and off to Disneyworld for two weeks, leaving Linda home alone.
And that's your lot for this week. Next week will be a little late as I'll be up to all sorts on Monday night and won't get around to the update till mid-week.
Glenda
