Glenda Young's Weekly Update Diary
Minutes spent worrying about body weight, 0; Insecurity about eating too much pizza, 0; Insecurity about having a glass of wine, 0; Number of times I want to give Renee Zellweger a slap for perpetuating body image insecurity in millions of women all around the world after piling on weight for a movie which earned her a fortune only then to go public and say how she hated being a 'fat' size 12, 1,000,000. Times I've said 'And now without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update', countless.
After foster girl Fiz set fire to the cafe, things went from bad to worse for the Croppers. Mr Hartnell comes out to see them and tells them Fiz has complained that Roy has been violent towards her. As if. Poor Roy, the only thing he'd ever batter are pancakes, the only things he'd ever whip are eggs, the only time h'd give a good roasting is to a chicken dinner (you get the picture so I'll shut up), but Mr Hartnell is duty bound to remove Fiz and investigate further. Sarah Lou comes to the rescue when she tells Hayley that Fiz had said she'd been planning to get Roy into trouble because she didn't like him. Everything gets settled in the end but not until Roy's been beset by doubts about fostering ever again.
In the Rovers, Mike buys Frank a drink and congratulates him and Alma on their announcement about moving to Shropshire together. "Look after her," he tells Frank, "she means a lot to me, that lady" and then he raises his glass to Alma, murmuring to himself: "be 'appy darlin' ". Unfortunately for Alma, my favourite of them all, things aren't looking rosy. As the ladies of the street are recalled to the clinic for their cervical smear tests, there's bad news for Alma when Doc Ramsden tells her she's got a growth at the neck of her womb. Having already told Audrey that she was going to live happily ever after with Frank, Alma's now going to have to tell her friend much less happy news.
While Audrey's been away sunning herself, sorry, on council business in Spain, Curly and Emma started campaigning on her behalf. Not totally sure why they're doing all the hard work for Audrey, Emma wonders why Curly doesn't stand for council himself. Now there's an idea.
Now that Danny's gone, Sally realises she needs another pair of hands on her hardware. After much cajoling from Dennis, she finally puts Jason on the job.
Mike returns Adam to his old school in Scotland and takes Ken along for the ride. At the school, the headmaster assumes that as Ken's Adam's grandfather, he therefore must be Mike's dad.. oh dear. This puts a smile on Mike's face and he starts calling Ken 'gramps' and asks him if he'd like to use the toilet before setting off back for Manchester. When they get back to Weatherfield, Ken tells Mike that as he obviously has Adam's best interests at heart, he won't be challenging the court order. Not that it bothered Mike anyway, he didn't expect to lose.
Gail and Martin get their decree absolute through the post. Lucky things. I had to make an appointment (chargeable) with my solicitor to get mine (for which there was a charge) and then he sent me a letter (another charge) followed by his invoice. So it's official and legal and they're single again, so the first thing they do is go to the Rovers for a drink together and decide to tell the kids.
And finally, Charlie goes to see Toyah, who's still at Janice and Les' house, rarely venturing outside. She confides to Toyah that she too had been raped, years ago, and this makes Toyah become more determined to find out who did it and see justice done. Charlie takes Toyah back to the scene of the rape which upsets Toyah tremendously, especially when kindly but unthinking Sam follows her in there to make sure she's okay. Anyway, there's a phone call late at night when Toyah's alone, a voice on the phone, breathing heavily, then the camera pans to a face in a phone box that we can't quite make out. Whoever it is has dreadful taste in shoes.... and they're the same shoes we see Phil Simmonds wearing the very next day. He calls on Toyah to make sure she's okay and trustingly she invites him in for tea and biscuits. After confiding in him by the fireside, she turns to go the kitchen for biscuits and it's then, with her back towards him, that he calls her name. She knows in an instant where she's heard that voice before. Upset and angry she turns on him, confronts him and tells him she knows he's the one who raped her. Phil tries to cover her mouth with his hand and they're struggling in the front room just as Peter's at the front door, hoping to apologise to Toyah for his earlier behaviour. Hearing Toyah's screams, Peter kicks in the door as Janice looks on from the factory, horrified. Phil lets go of Toyah and does a runner for the back door but Peter chases and catches him before giving him a good thumping as Toyah and Janice dissolve in tears in the living room.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda ;-)
Greetings from a warm and sunny holiday Monday. As I write this week's update, the sun's setting way behind me, lighting the room up red, yellow, orange and green (it's been that sort of day). It's been a grand weekend, aye, grand. But I'm too emotional to tell you why and even if I wanted to, the lump in my throat wouldn't let me. But it's good emotion, the best sort and of the highest quality. So don't worry, dear reader, for I am happy, truly happy on this wonderful warm evening. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
After Peter punched Phil in the cobbles last week, he's being hailed as some sort of hero, not least by Ken, but not most by Deirdre who comments quite sniffly that: "anyone could've done it". It turns out that Simmonds denies the rape charges but the PC lady copper is confident that results of the DNA test will prove his guilt. "You can't argue with DNA" she tells Toyah, authoratively. "No, you can't love" reassures Janice, unscientifically, because, apparently, you can. Les and Janice convince Toyah it's time she was venturing out so they take her to the Rovers for a drink but it's too much, too early and she isn't there long before she's panicked into going home, pretty sharpish.
Gail and Martin decide to tell the kids the news that the divorce is now final, the seperation permanent. When Martin tells David that he and Gail have some important news, poor David assumes his parents are getting back together again. And when he finds out that isn't the case, we find him sitting crying in the garden. It's a heart wrenching scene which had me in tears and just when I thought there'd be a bit of light relief from Vera or a comic joke from Jack, there wasn't. From that scene of David in the garden, cuddling his rabbit and feeling like his world is falling apart, the camera pans to Alma, whose world is, in fact, just about to end.
So there's more tears in store after Alma has tests, tests and more tests at the hospital which confirm that the cervical cancer she feared has, in fact, now spread. And it's terminal, she has just three months to live (except she doesn't know that yet). Audrey proves to be her rock when Frank admits he's too much of a coward to take her to the cottage only to watch her die. Alma had just about made up her own mind about staying with Audrey anyway, to be near her own doctor, but she and Frank hug a tearful farewell as he tells her: "I shall think of you. I shall think of you all the time." And as Audrey hugs her friend, she tells her not to think of what will happen now. "You're not going to... " she tells Alma, "You're not going to... " But she can't say it, because she knows, in fact we all know, that she is going to. It's left to Alma to express her greatest fear as she tells Audrey that she's frightened and that she doesn't want to die.
With Alma on her mind, Audrey is finding it hard to concentrate on anything else, not least her council business. When she turns up for a debate, her mind is elsewhere and it's left to Curly to save her from ridicule and voters turning against her. (Interesting to note the party colour was the Cadbury colour. I vote for more chocolate too). So, Curly decides to stand for council himself and makes sure Audrey is the first to know, but again, he's confused when she tells him she's not bothered. Anyway, Curly plans his campaign trail, explaining his route to Emma in the cafe (using fishfingers and peas as his culinary routemaster) and to Emily, later, with the salt cellar and an A-Z. What is about blokes and cutlery when they're trying to explain something? I've lost count of the times some fella's (one in particular) tried to explain the offside rule with the help of the milk jug and a jar of pickle. And no, it didn't help.
Norris gets his knickers in a twist this week after finding apathy in the neighbourhood regarding return of the census forms. Even though he takes his duties seriously, he leaves his shopping trolley unattended for a few minutes outside of Emily's and before you know it, young master Platt has wheeled it away. Norris complains bitterly to Gail about the actions of her wayward son, and chastises her for allowing him to hijack sensitive material in the ownership of the Sovereign.
Over at the Rovers, Duggie offers Toyah her old job back but it's too early for her to work again in there although she tells him she'll consider it. So this leaves Duggie a bit short-handed behind the bar but when Edna offers to "do chirpy" with the punters, he gives her the chance, even though he's worried she'll turn the beer sour. She's due on duty at 6 o'clock but it's three hours later when she turns up, wearing a sleeveless dress and a big smile. She's done up to the nines and charms the punters like a dream. Duggie can't quite believe it and confides to Peter: "I can't believe it's the same woman. Perhaps it's not?" I agree. I think it was Hattie Jacques' younger sister.
Casting their mind back to the jurassic period, Jack and Vera remember what it was to be young and in love. They have a chat and decide to let nature take its course with the engaged couple, and allow Maria to stay overnight with Tyrone. It's heartwarming to hear them talk about "our" Tyrone in these scenes, which work beautifully. Worried about the noise they might make in Tyrone's bedroom, Maria thoughtfully brings her CD player to drown out any noise that might carry through the walls upstairs at the Duckworths. "It plays 3 CD's" she tells Tyrone and he swells with pride, saying. "Is that how you see me? As a 3 CD kinda man?"
And elsewhere on the street, we had Maxine giving Ashley another hard time. This time, she wants a new car. Well, I can't say I really blame her, I don't think I'd want to be chauffeured in a butcher's van either. Maxine and Eve are still not seeing eye to eye, with Maxine convinced Eve is only after one thing - Fred's money.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda ;-)))
I'd rather be a cyborg than a goddess. Here I am writing my final essay in my final term of my final year as a mature student and that's the title I've been given to write on. I have to turn in 2,500 words on Donna Haraway's statement by teatime next Tuesday and then I'm done, I'm finished, a student no longer. Has the last three years gone as quickly for you as they've gone for me? Scary, isn't it? Oh, and while I'm waffling, just a couple of words about last week's intro. Yes I was happy - but to concerned of Canada, no I wasn't on drugs; and to those nice people at BT - mind your own business!!! But anyway, back to the question in hand - cyborg or goddess? I know which one I'd rather be so send gifts to me now and salvation is yours. And now, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
It's not been a happy week, oh dearie me, no. I've lost count of the times I've said 'Poor Alma'. It's a desperately sad storyline, dying of cancer, - one that strikes a chord, somewhere, with millions of viewers. Audrey's doing her best to be brave, to be strong for her friend but she's having trouble coping and turns to Doc Ramsden for advice. Alma refuses radiotherapy after it makes her feel worse and she wants to enjoy to the full the time she has left. So while Alma's being brave and Audrey's being strong, Curly goes and arranges a farewell party in the Rovers. When Alma walks in, a banner goes up that declares how much they'll all miss her when she's gone. If only they knew, but they didn't, so it's not their fault really. She does make an announcement though and tells them she's not moving to Shropshire, but she keeps to herself the reason why. It gets harder for Audrey to cope with being the only one who knows the truth about Alma and when she goes to see the Doc yet again, Gail fears the worst. She assumes there's something wrong with her mam and goes to talk to Alma to find out what's going on. It's with both relief and horror that Gail reacts to her friend's news, and when Audrey returns home, mother and daughter hug each other as Gail promises to help Audrey cope with supporting their dying friend.
A new barmaid starts at the Rovers this week - Shelly. She's blonde, brassy, busty, wears leopard skin (sound familiar?) and she's a bosom pal of Duggie's from the rugby club. With her cheeky smile and face she puts on from a jar while sitting at the table in the back room of the Rovers (she's not the first to do that and she'll not be the last), she's a hit with the regulars. Well, the blokes seem to like her, as you'd expect, but the women, especially Geena, aren't that keen. And neither am I. She upsets Edna with quips about her cleaning skills, which might be fair enough. But then she goes and upsets Betty with comments on her hot-pot and no-one, but no-one, should get away with that. When she spots Peter helping himself to the scotch, she gives him a wink and a nod and tells him to behave himself otherwise she'll tell Duggie. When Geena complains to Duggie that Shelley's unwilling to pull her weight behind the bar, preferring instead to smile at the blokes, Duggie can't see what the fuss is all about. He tells Geena she could do worse than to stick out her chest and smile a bit more herself.
Toyah decides to take a year out of college and returns to work at Roy's rolls. She also makes friends with Sam this week, which was nice to see, bless him.
Curly and Emily go canvassing around Weatherfield but don't get a good reception from some of the residents, who basically, couldn't give a damn about the elections unless it means voting for cheaper booze and fags. Spindoctor Emily decides Curly needs an angle they can position the campaign on and he's soon rebranded. Drawing on his background of working on the bin wagons in the past, he's placed, targeted and sold to the press as The Man Who Can Clean Up Weatherfield. Unfortunately, the reporter from The Gazette puts it more succinctly: "Bin man talks rubbish".
After Maxine sits on Ashley's pork pie in the meat van (sorry, too much innuendo to deal with here so I'll not even try), she demands he goes out and buys another car. But even when he does what he's told, she's still not happy. He comes back with a convertible sports car, black of course, and she's harping on about no space for baby, pushchair and pram. Maxine lets rip on Eve this week after Eve and Fred come round for dinner, calling Eve a gold-digger who's after Fred's money. Eve stands up for herself and gives as good as she gets, berating Maxine for requiring perfection in everything. "I hope you never have children," she yells at Maxine "They'd never live up your expectations!".
When Blanche has a go at Sally over changing the sign above the shop: "It's not *D* and S anymore, is it?", Sally realises she's got to get it changed. Jason does his best and tries to help out, repainting the sign to read: Sally's Hardware (I think it's already copyrighted as a porno website, isn't it?). Anyway, Jason's proving useful around the place, especially in providing a rather young and muscular shoulder for Sally to cry on when she realises how much she's missing Danny. In the cafe, Vera mentions to Kevin that Sally and Jason seem to be getting on well these days, but Kevin's got other things on his mind, not least getting his hands on Molly's big end.
Jack and Vera catch Tyrone and Maria at it (you know, it) on the sofa (what d'ya mean you don't know what I mean? It. You know. IT). Vera tells them not to feel embarrassed, it's Maria's home as much as their own now. Unfortunately, Tyrone takes this to mean that Vera has just invited Maria to move in with them and before you can say "Jack, stop cutting your toe nails on the kitchen table, we've got guests", Maria's moved in and she and Tyrone have full use of the parlour in which they settle down to domestic fulfillment. And it doesn't take them long. Within a couple of days they've gone from thinking how fab it is to waking up each morning with each other to having their first row, Maria tied to the drudgery of doing the ironing and their first unwanted guest - that bloke Kirk who was in The Royle family - just as Tyrone comes home from work for a quickie.
There's a completely pointless story about Vik, Steve, Karen and Bobbi brewing at the minute. Bobbi and Karen are the least likeable and most boring of all the street women but if you want to know, I guess I'd better write something. Karen's cheesed off as all Steve does is offer her chips while Vikram takes Bobbi out for dinner. Bobbi reckons she's got Vik wrapped around her little finger and it's all to do with advice she's taking from a book she's reading. I tried that once but didn't get very far. Perhaps I shouldn't have based my approach on the 1978 Be-Ro Cookery Book. I never got a bloke but I can make a fluted flan.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Greetings and welcome to another week's update. It's not been a bad week, by 'eck no, and this coming week is the last ever in which I'll be a student. Yup, there's only 3 more days and then it's all over, I'll be a student no more. There'll be no more student discount at Beers'R'Us, no 15p Guardian newspaper, no more brown nosing with the lecturers, no more student parties (well, I only ever went to one, realised I was missing nothing so never went to another one again. I guess it's fun, when you're 20, to be 12th in queue for the toilet in someone's damp and crowded rented house, but when you're 36, the attraction soon wears off and you're glad to slip home for a spot of tea and Radio 2). But I digress. If there is anyone, anyone, reading this who's thinking, considering, wondering about starting life as a mature student, email me now for words of wisdom / encouragement / enthusiasm / regret. Well, not regret, I made that bit up. It's been fantastic, every single minute of the last three years. Graduation is in July and there'll be pictures online, oh yes, just you wait and see. But now, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
I'll start with the Alma storyline as it's been the most poignant and of course, the most upsetting, with tears spilt in my living room once again this week. She starts having pains and realises she's got to sort out a few things. She calls Molly in to talk about pain relief and hospice care and she calls in her solicitor to talk about wills and organising a party for her funeral. Alma tells Audrey she's leaving all of her money to Gail and the kids, Roy and Hayley, and her, on one condition - she's got to change the name of the hair salon - to Alma's. And if you don't cry buckets at that little scene, well, I'm a plastic tortoise. With her mind on looking after Alma, Audrey tries, and fails, to concentrate on council business and finally tells Curly she's giving up as councillor. As Audrey stands down would the real slim Curly please stand up? Curly proves good at problem management after David litters the Street with his campaign leaflets. When the photographer calls to take a picture of the mess he's created, Curly catches David by the scruff of the neck, points him at the camera and squeezes him so hard, the lad can't do anything but a really wide grimace. Fortunately, the reporter thinks that David was helping Curly clean up and our new councillor-to-be gets a positive front page headline all to himself: "Waste Buster Watts".
Yawn, yawn. Bobbi and Vik fall out after he finds out she's been reading the Venus Mantrap rule book. Then they make up. Then Janice bets Karen a tenner she can't get Steve McDonald to take her out to dinner. Karen turns up at the Rovers, tarted up with cleavage pushed up to chat Steve up and it looks like she's won the bet so Janice takes it further. Twenty quid says she can't get Steve to agree to tek her on holiday by the end of the night. The bet's are placed and the dogs are out of their trap as Karen leads Steve out for dinner in town. "If you pay for the meal.." she tells him, " I can promise you something special for dessert". Steve's only hope is that she doesn't give him spotty dick with custard. Over at the Rovers, Shelley's up to all sorts. First, she nominates Duggie in North West Landlord of the Year competition. Then she spills the beans on Peter after Duggie wonders who's been nicking the whisky. She even manages to look concerned as Duggie traps Peter and sacks his golden boy. Then, she gets Duggie to organise a drag night where the fellas of the Street have to turn up dressed as female pop stars. And I have to admit, I'm warming to her, I really am.
When Geena takes a phone call at Dev's place from his mum, she's not best pleased when his mum assumes that Geena's his cleaner. And when she confronts Dev about it, he's evasive, to say the least. Why, she wants to know, is he keeping her secret from his family? And when he can't give her an honest answer, she walks out. And who'd blame her? Geena starts thinking Dev's all set for an arranged marriage with an Asian woman and that she's just a conquest, but he says not. Unfortunately, he's not very convincing. So when he calls in the Rovers to talk to her at work, she gives him short shrift, and rightly so. Dev's hot gossip in the corner shop (is this the only shop in Britain with more staff than customers?) between Sunita and Deirdre, each of them fascinated by Dev's love life themselves, for their own particular reasons.
Molly's having trouble with her car so she takes it into the garage and Kev promises to have a look at it. It seems like that's all he's done because when he gives it back to her, it breaks down again. So he's not fixed it and she's not paid him and the pair of them look set to end up in bed together in a hot passionate embrace. Just a guess.
Max is distraught, she's not pregnant, again. The pair of them troll off to the docs who tell them to be patient and keep on trying but Maxine says she won't and Ashley says, wearily, he can't. Doc Ramsden tells them they'll be seen next week if they go private, but Ashley admits he's terrified as he'll be tested first. "I don't want to go to hospickle, on me own, in a lickle room." he says. I think Ashley's had his script typed up wrong 'cos it was supposed to read "... and your character will be having, like, a baby". Anyway, between thoughts of fertility, Max demands driving lessons in the new car from Ash. But as she takes the steering wheel in her hand, puts the car into gear and speeds off in first gear, there's a touch of Cruella de Ville about her and your thoughts turn to wondering where that kitten of hers went to.
There's undies in the Duckie's sink and Jack's getting tired of not having his house to himself. He tells Vera that Maria's got to go after finding "Maria's doings, you know, her smalls" in the bathroom sink. The lack of privacy is getting to them both too but it'll break Vera's heart to have to move her out.
And finally this week, Janice and Les are in competition for Most Horrid Haircut of the Year award. My bet's on Janice. Yes, it really is that bad. And that's about that for this week.
Glenda :-)
Greetings and apologies for a late update this week but it's been a holiday weekend and I've been up to all sorts. It was a weekend when I became the very last person in the history of the universe to become the owner of a mobile phone. To me, mobile phones were a nuisance, an interference and a bleepin' noisy intrusion but sadly, it seems, I've turned into Dom Jolie already. I ring people and yell loudly: "Hello? Yeah! I'm on the train!", even when I'm not. Just for the hell of it and because I can. I now have the power to annoy the hell out of people who have annoyed the hell out of me for years and years and years. And it feels good. But just one thing is missing... to be truly annoying, I need the Corrie Street theme tune to play at full blast, wherever I go. But anyway, ahem, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
As Alma's pain worsens, Audrey's concerns turn away from work and the council to look after her friend. These two actresses are doing a quality job, they really are. Frank turns up with a letter for Alma but Audrey won't take it and tells Frank to sling his hook: "You weren't there when she needed yer." In the Rovers he finds Curly and wrongly assumes that he knows about Alma. Curly is devastated by the news and goes round to see her, angry and hurt at Alma for not telling him the truth. The pair of them hug and Curly passes on the letter from Frank, which pleases Alma much less than seeing her special friend.
Now that she's told Curly she's standing down for election, Audrey canvasses for him instead but as she can't tell anyone the reason why she's doing this, the electorate are a little confused. On election night, the votes are in and Curly beats them all, including the Authentic Curry Party and even the Party for The Opening of the Third Eye (eh?). This means of course, that he also beats Audrey who later imparts the wisdom of her years: "Being a Councillor, I always felt like the Queen, you know, dealing with all of the ordinary people." Yes Audrey, I think we always knew that. Curly decides he wants to be a hands-on sort of councillor and opens No. 7 for the ordinary people to come and make their views known. Norris wants less street lighting, Blanche wants more - to help her navigate her way around the dog dirt on the streets. "Where does it all come from?" she asks. "Dogs?" replies Norris. So, now Curly's on the council, his time's going to be taken up with meetings and schedules, that is, of course, in between running the local superstore and being an all-round good egg. So it'll be interesting to see his reaction to Emma's news next week when she tells him she's just found out that she's pregnant!
Another person whose reaction to Emma's news will be interesting, to say the least, will be Maxine. Ashley had to give a sample, you know, at the clinic this week, but he couldn't. So they sent him away with a little jar to do it at home instead. When the Peacocks came rushing out of the house on their way to the clinic, jar held aloft with Ashley shouting "I've done it! I've done it!", I think we could all safely assume that he had indeed, done it.
Janice and Bobbi decide to up the stakes for Karen and Steve. Not content on Karen getting Steve to take her out for a meal, it's then a holiday they bet on before Janice has a brainstorm. She and Bobbi bet Karen a day's pay each that Karen can't turn that holiday into a honeymoon and get Steve to marry her by this time next week. Not one to let such trivial things concern her, Karen comes clean with Steve, tells him about the bet and Bob's your uncle, it's on. They're getting wed, on one condition - Steve wants half of the money from the bet. The proposal has to be public, for the sake of the bet, so at an agreed time in the Rovers, Steve comes in, shoves a bunch of roses in Karen's face, says "Karen, we haven't known each other very long, but long enough, will you marry me?". She says yes and they snog. That's it, all done, it'll be the second time Steve McDonald has married - for money. Janice and Bobbi are left gobsmacked, as is Vik, who warns Steve that Karen "isn't the sort of girl that you marry". Okay, she's a tart but Steve's no angel either - a perfect match, I'd say. Karen has her hen night in a salsa bar with the girls (Geena, Hayley, Janice, Linda, Bobbi and Maxine) and at the end of a very drunken night, confides to Janice that she's only going through with it because Steve won't dare turn up at the ceremony tomorrow.
Meanwhile at the stag night, the lads are in the pub (which looks suspiciously like The Hogshead on Deansgate). Somehow, Ryan tags along on the stag do after reminding Karen she's got a fella already - his brother, in prison. As the stripper appears, Curly does a runner to protect his image as clean living councillor. After Ashley and Curly have left, Peter's with the stripper but she'll soon find out he's got as much charm as a dot.com empire - flashy, empty and a disappointment to millions. And at the end of the very drunken night, Steve confides to Vik that he's only going through with it because Karen won't dare turn up at the ceremony tomorrow. Ho-hum.
After Geena and Dev split up last week, they tried to get back together again this week. But that was knocked on the head when Geena caught Dev on the phone to old-flame Rachel. Dev's in a dilemma, he can't even say 'commitment' never mind offer it, but he does love Geena, he just doesn't know it yet and he certainly can't say it. Deirdre's been doing her best to offer support to both of them, but yes, well, with her record? Shelley gives Geena some advice on men in the back room of the Rovers. "Are you craving him?" she asks, and Geena nods before Shelley comes out with: "It's like an addiction innit? Shame they don't do patches." After Dev gatecrashes the hen night to whisk Geena back to his flat, they talk and snog and it looks like they're back on track once again.
Martin's taken David off on holiday during half-term after Gail felt he needed more time with his dad. Kicking rubbish around the street with his friend Simon (who's a dead ringer for Nicky Platt II, by the way), David gets a clip around the ear from his mother when she discovers what he's done. The rubbish ends up in the Platt's back garden, on fire, as David sits down to tea. Sam rushes in with a bucket of water (how convenient he was loitering by the back gate at the time) and Doc Ramsden leaps the fence from next door with his fire extinguisher. The fire's burnt clothes on the line, the garden's a mess and David's in tears, worrying about the rabbit. Gail can't get through to him the seriousness of his actions, he just crumples and cries "I want me dad". And so father and son have gone off to play happy families for a week with David packing his own suitcase, containing, you'll not be surprised to hear, one football, one football shirt and one computer game.
And finally, this week saw the drag night at the Rovers. Norris declares "there's only one diva for me" before reading make up tips in FabFace magazine and raiding Rita's jewellry box for something un-subtle. As preparations begin in the back room of the Rovers, Duggie's in stockings and Vik and Steve are flaunting cleavage the likes of which hasn't been seen there since Bet Lynch wore Annie Walker's dress back to front. Duggie drags it up as Dolly Parton to compere the evening and first off are The Shangri-Las. It's the men from the garage - Sam, Kev, Dennis and Tyrone (looking mysteriously like Brookside's Bev) singing Leader of the Pack. Les has to go and spoil it all of course, with a poor Suzi Quatro that lets the side down, but he's followed by Vik and Steve as very camp Abba girls. Dancing Queens indeed. And then, oh, and then, it's Norris. Or was it Eartha Kitt herself? Who knows. The Kabin's very own sex kitten wins the big prize and deservedly so, he was wonderful.
And that's just about that for this week. Must go, I've got a bus load of people to shout at.
Glenda
"I've always wanted to be stormy, passionate and tempestuous. But you can't
be. Not when you're born with a tidy mind". Emily Bishop.
