December 2nd, 2002

Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. In my breaks from writing updates, you'll know by now that one of the guest updaters is often Janet Waterhouse (nee Penny). Well, I had the great pleasure of finally meeting - and dining with, and chatting to, and poring over her superb wedding pictures - with Janet last week. I knew we'd like each other the minute she told me I sounded "attractive" before she'd even met me and I described her as "a young girl" without knowing her real age. (Gawd bless the internet). So we had a good night chatting and gossiping about all the update readers, yes all of them, even you at the back with your finger up your nose. And now I've met Janet all that remains is to capture John Dean when he comes round our way singing Away in a Manger. But until then, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

After Vik caught him in the casino with Lucy last week, Vik tries to blackmail Peter into writing off his gambling debt in return for Vik's silence to Shelly. When Peter tells Vik he's not going to fall for his plan, Vik storms into the Rovers and spills the beans to Shell. Well. Hell. It breaks loose. "In the back." She tells Peter. "Now." And in the back he goes, following her in like a lamb to the slaughter but instead he gets off scot free when he lies through his teeth. Upset at how close he came to losing Shelly over this, Peter calls round to Lucy to ask his mistress for advice on his girlfriend. (It takes a woman to know a woman). Realising he needs to do something drastic to keep in Shelley's good books, he proposes and she accepts and then it's one more trip to Lucy's to say his farewells. Will Lucy turn out to be a bunny boiler? Oh I do hope so - she could start by simmering Peter's little furry thumper good and proper.

Joe proves he's big in the pants department when Una's Undies puts in a huge order at the factory. This means he has to take on a new machinist and Angela Nelson applies for the job. Too nervous to go for the interview, she cancels at the last minute but with support from hubby Tommy, she goes, and gets the job later on. When the new girl starts at the factory, the others want to know all about her and can't understand why Angela won't give them the gossip they feel they deserve. Hayley starts putting up Christmas decorations at the factory to the strains of Kylie on the radio, which reminds me I hadn't opened my Kylie chocolate Christmas advent calendar window yet today.

Scared out of his wits by the bloke who Peter's sold his debt on to, Vik does a runner with Maria in tow. Maria makes a scene in the Rovers and tells Shelley she needs time off to look after her gran. When Harry steps up to work the bar in Maria's absence, Maria and Vik jet off to the sun leaving a stupefied Steve, a curious Karen and a doubting Dev behind.

More marital discord for the Watts when Emma's called into work and Curly's left holding the baby again. When she returns from work she brings colleague Mick home for a drink and when he leaves the cobbles in his car, knocks Janice Battersby and her jumbo sausage to the floor. Both Janice and sausage were fine.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

Greetings and welcome and hello, hello, hello. If I zip through this week's update it's not because it's nearly Christmas and there's a pile of shopping I have to do, although it is and I don't. The real reason's dead boring so without any further ado, here we zip along with this week's Coronation Street update. Oh yes, have to tell you something, over Christmas I'll be elsewhere and away from a PC so the updates will come as and when. Anyway, let's crack on.

"Will you Mrs Webster, take him, Mr Webster as your lawfully married Webster?" She did. "And will you, Mr Webster, take her, Mrs Webster as your lawfully married Webster?" He did too and you can see the Webster wedding photos on the web at webster webster webster dot.. sorry, I'll restrain myself, but it was all rather silly. White van man turned up outside the church with his "Don't do it, Sally" and bottles of turps. There was revealation "I don't love you, Kev", and there were tears but this being Corrie, of course there were a wedding. And didn't Sally look great? If anyone knows which catalogue her suit came from and if it comes in a size 14 with extra long legs on the trousers, do let me know. And in the Corrie style of weddings of course there was a stag night and a hen party too. ITV even threw in some extra extras too.

Tommy turns a blind eye when he sees Blanche mugged outside of the Kabin. He doesn't want to get involved with the police although it was clear he got a good view of the guy who ran off with Blanche's bag. Street residents start talking and tutting about how strange the new Nelson neighbours really are while Hayley defends Angela's corner in the factory as she comes in for some stick from the girls.

Vik and Maria return from Barbados to face Steve, Dev and various other creditors. Vik takes Maria's suitcase back to the flat and rips open the bottom to reveal he's smuggled back two large blocks of demerara sugar. Afterwards, Vik meets with a couple of heavies who tell him they want him to do another drugs run to Tenereefee next time. Why doesn't he just sell his BMW, pay off his debts and be done with it?

PC Mick (who almost ran over Janice and her sausage last week on the cobbles) gets invited to Curly and Emma's for Sunday lunch. Curly needs a bit of help with spicing up his life, sorry, the curry, so calls on Sunita for advice. "Bring a friend" they tell PC Mick but it looks like he'll be on his own until he bumps into Janice in the Rovers and he takes her along. When Les finds out, he's straight round to Curly's, demanding to see his wife but when Curly asks him if he really wants to interrupt dinner with two coppers, Les reluctantly goes home.

Anyway, must go. More next week.

Glenda

Greetings and welcome to this week's Coronation Street update. I won't be here with the update next week as I'll be up north and away from my PC, but the ever fragrant Janet Waterhouse has kindly offered to fill the snow boots and do the update next week. I'll be back when I'm back between Christmas and New Year – and I hope that each and every one of you has a wonderful Christmas time.

Vik's in deep doo-doo debt and goes cap in hand to Dev who shells out some money to keep his feckless cousin afloat. With pressure from the heavies, Vik knows he has to do another drugs run and takes Steve and Karen away on a weekend to Tenereefee. What Steve and Karen don't know is that their free holiday abroad is a cover for Vik to smuggle drugs back to the UK in Karen's suitcase. There's a blinder of an episode when Steve finds out what his business partner's been up to. As they arrive back at Manchester airport, Karen wants to complain to the airline about the way her suitcase has been damaged on the flight but Vik is reluctant to let anyone near the old bag and has to come clean with Steve about the reason why. The McDonalds get stopped at customs but no drugs are found and Steve manages, only just, but he manages to curb his anger with Vik until they're back on the cobbles of er.. Castlefield, where conveniently there's a canal which the drugs get thrown in it – after Steve beats up Vik, protects his wife and Karen has a good cry. Excellent stuff.

Hayley's upset this week too as Roy packs himself off to Paxos on the Weatherfield Historical Society trip to ancient Greece. With his hot flask and his sandwiches for the plane, Roy goes off to the airport in a taxi as Hayley sheds a tear and wonders how she'll get through Christmas without him.

After Tommy turned a blind eye to Blanche's mugging last week, the Nelsons are shunned this week on the Street. In the factory, Angela plucks up the courage to tag along to the Rovers but the girls tell her she's not wanted and it's only Hayley that defends the new girl. At the garage, Kev sacks Tommy after a wallet is found that Tommy swears is his but carries the name of Mr Harris on a union card. All becomes clear when a tearful Angela tells Hayley that the family are, indeed, on the Witness Protection Programme after she gave evidence in court when she saw a murder in a pub. Hmm, yes, well, all very predictable and not at all exciting. Methinks it can only be a matter of time before murderer's family track down the Nelsons and put us all out of our misery. Yawn.

It's all going in the Rovers mind you. Young Maria gets her job back after wheedling around Shelley. "This isn't the Rovers any more young ladeh," Shelley tells her feckless barmaid: "As far as you're concerned, it's the last chance saloon". And there in the snug is Toyah and her lecturer (think Spider in a tweed jacket, glasses, smart hair do and zero sex appeal) who surprise Janice when she spies them kissing.

Kev and Sally celebrate their honeymoon at Number 13. "Are you happy?" asks Kev. "I'm contented. Peaceful. Secure." she replies. Ho hum, can't have it all then.

At the Underworld Christmas party the girls knock off at lunchtime, get drunk on cheap booze and throw Les out on the street in Underworld's best frillies after he invades their girls-only space.

It's all been rather predictable so far, this build up to Christmas on Corrie. There's nothing we haven't seen before and even the Nelsons failed to intrigue. I can only hope that one of the Christmas episodes next week in which Norris has a contretemps with a figgy pudding lifts the spirits of the cobbles to the level we deserve.

And that's just about that for this week. Have a wonderful Christmas time.

Glenda

Christmas greetings to everyone! It doesn't seem two minutes since Glenda and I finally met for a cracking good evening at Topo Gigio's. We're hoping to repeat the night out with our respective partners as Glenda will be up in Yorkshire for part of the hols. Ironically, after mentioning it in her update, she received an email from my Cousin Kelly out in Canada, wanting to know if I had told Glenda all about her [email to JW from GY: "Is this really your cousin?"]! Congrats, Kelly Belly - you finally got a mention!

Roy's flight back from Greece has been cancelled by bad weather and it will be at least a week before the next one can get out. Amazing how accurate Greek weather forecasting is. I sympathise totally as my each of my last three flights back from the continent were delayed by fog at Leeds/Bradford airport (the last was so bad we had to land in Teeside and had to be bussed back), but the longest only made me thirteen hours late. Still, I guess if you have to spend a week extra in a foreign destination, a Greek island is a nice place to be. Being short staffed, young Katy Nelson is hired to fill in and Toyah and Fiz insist that Hayley chow down turkey with them. Vera confides that she's kept her purse next to her what with one of "those Nelsons" beside her all day!

Dev has bundled Vik off to Mumbai (Bombay when I was learning geography at school) on a one way ticket, leaving Steve to deal with the fallout not only financially but with the big goomba who apparently believes that he is now personally responsible for Vik's debt, which multiplies by the hour. It's a slap in the face as they discover that Vik's direct debit for his flash car has come out of the Streetcars account, so that would have been first on the list to be sold to raise funds, but Damien the thug took it off Steve's hands. Steve ups the rent for the cabbies, but it's not going to be enough. Eileen is a bit concerned that her rent is going up too ("I work extra hours for you, only to hand it right back"), but Karen McScrooge has her own ideas: chuck them out in the snow, and right before Christmas, too.

In the corner shop, Les goes shouting the odds at Dev for being related to Vik and Blanche chimes in. Dev bars them both, then Sunita tries to soothe him. She's hurt when he tells her he's all alone in the world. She later takes Shelley's instructions to be more aggressive to heart, but Dev cuts her short. He knows what she wants to say, but obviously doesn't reciprocate and tells her she's too valuable to lose as a friend just for a quick fumble (I don't think that fully explains the Deirdre scenario last year, which will be important to remember on Christmas Day).

Blanche invites herself round to Emily's for Christmas dinner as she's got nothing good to say about Deirdre's cooking. It's bad enough the bird has to die without it being cremated, too! Peter insists Sunita comes with them, though I'm not sure what poor Sunita has done to deserve it. Blanche pipes up that she won't tell Sunita about Deirdre's cooking and put her off!

Sunita wants to know if Peter has bought Shelley a ring yet. He's a bit puzzled why people keep asking him that. She tells him it's because he's a man. Yes, he replies, but not a man with a death wish!

It's Peter's and Shelley's engagement party at the Rovers (and may I say what a pleasure it is to see John Savident back again as Fred). All the lads from the submarine are there to wish him well, including Ciaran. Now, he may not have been welcomed by the happy couple or Blanche ("Ken - he's your son - go and thump him!" ... or possibly that was me reading her mind) and pushed out the door, but Keith Duffy was always my favourite member of Boyzone and I can well understand how all the women drool over his character. In fact, with all due respect to Jase, I can honestly say that we could have another Glenda/Spider situation here! More of Ciaran, please, especially when he's lounging under the duvet!

Now, for my absolute fave storyline of the week (possibly the year). Jason Grimshaw has a new job at a department store, but is being most mysterious about it. Tyrone and Kirk have been trying to tail him, but managed to lose him each time. As Tyrone works on a car, he's talking to Kirk on the mobile. Kevin grabs the phone and tells Kirk to get going as Jason is on the move. A bit taken aback, he asks why Kirk would put on a bright yellow coat and jokingly says that they'd be a lot better off following him in the truck with the lights flashing. Tyrone duly follows instructions, then rushes back to grab Todd, as he just has to see it!

Jason is only appearing as a singing elf in the Christmas Grotto! His face is a picture as he suddenly comes face to face with the Three Musketeers (or is that Stooges) and realises what he's let himself in for. Eileen doesn't care what anyone thinks - she's dead proud of her eldest, but she does wish that Todd had a camera!

Audrey's decided to do everything to get back into her family's good books. David's chuffed because she's one of the few people who actually gives him two separate presents and not tell him that it's a combo birthday and Christmas [my husband says I have to mention that, even though his birthday is in early January, he agrees with David completely, though I've told him I only buy all the presents at once, I don't skimp!]. It was also Richard's birthday this week and there was something about David buying him a remote-controlled rat, which sounds terribly amusing!

In the spirit of the season, Richard certainly exhibits good will to all men, but he's a downright swine when it comes to the fairer sex. He's none too pleased about the NHS giving out flu jabs as pensioners would normally be dropping like flies during this weather (what, the rain?) and sneaks up on Emily, who is feeling a bit poorly as she hasn't had her flu shot. Cue big red herring (I think anyway). He's been to see his bank manager (I don't know why I usually get fobbed off with some assistant, but then again my overdraft isn't as big as his!) who welcomes him with a reminder that he's only got to the end of the year to do something before bankruptcy charges are filed, so he hopes Richard has made a killing! Not yet...! Even though Curly has advised him that plans for the bail hostel are once more in Richard's favour, the bank manager insists he needs 15 thou within the month.

The Hillman/Platt household is off to the pantomime (there's obviously a great future there for Brian Capron who plays Richard once his Corrie contract comes to an end). Audrey tells Archie that while they're out, she'll be searching the house for clues (look out, he's right behind you!!). Archie reluctantly decides to accompany her.

In the rush to get out the door, the laptop is left out. As they leave, Emily is caught in the headlights. Gail comments how awful she looks. "Yes", Richard replies, figuratively stroking his beard, "doesn't she!"

As Audrey goes through the papers and laptop, Archie, obviously unused to a life of crime, puts on his woollen gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints! She discovers that the house has been mortgaged and all of Emily's paperwork.

Meanwhile, Bethany has dumped Ribena over Gail and Sarah so even though they are late, they have to go home (I wouldn't have, but then again my laundry detergent works a treat) and discovers them in the act. "Oh no, Gran," breathes David. "What have you done!" I can hardly wait for the next episode!!

That's it from me for the year (comments and prezzies to janet_waterhouse@hotmail.com). Hope all your holidays are joyful and you and your families remain healthy and happy.

Greetings and welcome to the final update of 2002. Many thanks to Janet Waterhouse for doing the update while I was away last week and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. Santa Claus left me some wonderful presents and I am now the proud owner of my first ever trug. As I write, it's the afternoon of New Year's Eve and I've just awoken from an afternoon sleep in preparation for staying up late tonight and seeing in the New Year with my special person and some friends. And so without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

The update this week kicks off on Christmas day where everyone's in someone else's house for Christmas dinner. So let's set the scene as follows: Home-alone Hayley has Christmas dinner in the flat above the salon with Toyah, Fiz, Maria, Kirk and Les. Tyrone's with Jack and Vera (who's waiting for Terry to arrive but of course he never does). At Emily's there Norris, Rita, Audrey and Archie. Over at the Barlows there's Deirdre, Ken, Peter, Shelley and Sunita although they're soon joined by Blanche who feels surplus to requirements round at Emily's when Archie and Audrey arrive. The Nelsons and the Platts celebrate Christmas as families in their own homes and Tommy Nelson buys his missus a mobile phone so she can ring her old mum. So there you have it - the Street on Christmas day and as this is Weatherfield, all manner of things start to go wrong.

Toyah throws Les and his dinner out on the street after they argue when Les finds out Toyah's dating her lecturer. Later, John the teacher whisks Toyah away to Bordeaux for a romantic few days but when they return he calls into the flat and chats up Maria while Toyah is out.

As Emily' s not feeling too well, Norris takes charge in the kitchen and ends up knocking himself unconscious after a contretemps with the figgy pudding, ending up in hospital then in a neck brace: "The nurses tell me I'm lucky to be alive!". While Norris was out of the way and Emily dozing on the sofa, Richard moves in for the kill as he leaves Gail and the kids to get some fresh air. Sneaking over to Emily's house he pops through the back door to ask Emily how she's feeling and when she starts to drop off, he plans to finish her off and grabs a cushion to hold over her face. His plan is only foiled when Rita walks in. To Audrey's relief, Norris tells her that he believes her every word about Richard but Emily and Rita are much less sure.

But the best Christmas dinner of all was the one at the Barlows when Tracey waltzed in, no better than she ought to be with her: "I've left my husband, I've left London and I've come back home to live". She's not back five minutes before she's fixed a date with Ciaran, who's now serving up the charm with the chips in the cafe while Roy is away. Hayley giggles and gets damp every time Ciaran is around and Roy was more than a little surprise to find on his return that not only is Ciaran working in the cafe but he's also living in their spare room. But I digress, back to Tracey Barlow who stands up Ciaran on their date and ends up in bed with Dev. Oh yes, you heard that right, Dev. Deirdre nearly lays an egg when she finds out and she's straight round to see Dev to get something straight between them but he couldn't give a toss. Blanche is less than surprised to be told that Tracey has taken off her wedding ring and thrown it in the fire: "Well whaddya expect from a girl who got married in purple hob-nailed boots?" she asks.

And finally this week Sarah finds Ade living rough in Sally's old hardware shop. She wants to give him some food and look out for him but when Candice finds out she gives Ade short shrift and marches Sarah away from the lad who almost killed her.

And that's just about that for this week. Happy New Year!

Glenda

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