December 1 2003

Greetings and welcome to another weekly update - with only another 3 shopping updates till Christmas and then they'll be on special offer,  three for the price of six (terms and conditions apply, your statutory rights will not be affected).  And in the spirit of the season and to reach the ever expanding European readership of the weekly updates (bonjour Herr Wolf in Espana) I will be accepting the euro from January. But first, let's open the weekly update advent calendar and see what's behind it this week. Ooh, lovely, it's Teddy Sheringham.  And now, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

In Blackpool, the Mrs McDonalds are at loggerheads (it's a new ride on the pleasure beach).  Karen and Liz have a right old falling out as Jim gets arrested while making his bid for freedom in a speedboat to Ireland. Speed bonny lad with the wings of a dove, over the sea to the central pier. And back again to return to jail.  Well, it's all Ashley's fault. He takes that Claire one out on a dinghy and they get marooned with baby Josh.  As water leaks in, panic sets in. Fortunately for them, here comes Jim and Liz making an escape bid to freedom in Ireland but when they spy their Corrie neighbors adrift without a storyline, they hook them aboard and take them back to land. Harbour + waiting police + handcuffs = Jim's nicked.    Karen and Liz can't even agree to disagree and Karen tells Steve she won't have his mother at their wedding, like no way. Steve says way.

Further along the prom, there's a wedding to be going to after Bet explained the truth to Cecil about the photo of her snogging the face off Jim McDonald last week.  With Liz and Fred as witnesses, they arrive late at the church, too late for the vicar to service them today. Come back tomorrow at 12.. he says trendily  ...he'll have a window then.  Never mind, the wedding dinner's booked so they go off and eat that instead and return the next day to face that fenetre.  Only thing is, just as Bet and Cecil are about to enter the church, Cecil's son turns up and has a go at his dad about marrying the old tart, Bet Lynch.  Cecil, bless him, collapses with a heart attack right there at Bet's feet and dies later in his hospital bed.  "Ta-Ra Cruella" says Bet to Karen and off she goes, back to her pub in Brighton taking Liz with her to work as chief barmaid and generally to stand beside her in company to make her look kind of normal.

Back in Weatherfield Bev's met a bloke and when Deirdre hears all about him she fair throws a wobbly.  He's dark haired, called John and says he's an airline pilot.  Deirdre wants to be sure it isn't John Lindsay so after her interview at the town hall for an office job, she pops into the bar where Bev and pilot-boy are having a drink.  It's not the Lindsay fella, Deirdre tells Bev with relief, but it's too late for Bev to be consoled by anything.  The flames of passion are dimmed as the pilot goes out. Sick of hanging around in the bar with Bev who was waiting for Deirdre, he walks out and leaves.  Bev sulks at Deirdre and blames her for messing up her love life but when she hears the full story about John Lindsay from Mike, she apologises to Deirdre and the two of them make up.

Sunita shops with Shelley for  a smashing sari for her special day while  Dev drops hints that Ciaran couldn't care less.  It's true, he couldn't.  Meanwhile Dev's relationship with Maya deepens although the woman is a nutcase if you ask me.  I know you didn't, but I'm telling you anyway. She's a nutcase.  She gets sacked from her job doing that solictary thing at the lawyering place after soliciting client's husbands and admits to Dev that she's stony broke.  And what does he do? Does he run, run, as fast as he can? No, not Dev, the corner shop man. He asks her to move in with him.  Well, it would be hard to refuse, I mean, he does have his own personal stock of Tunnocks teacakes.

Nanna Brenda takes little Bethany out to see Santa in a local department shop and comes wondering back hours later to Sarah and Todd's flat unaware of the panic she's caused.  Brenda's been out for hours, in which time the police have been called, streets have been searched, hospitals have been visited, Todd's done his nut and Sarah's cried her eyes out.  No one, however, tells Gail what's gone on, although Eileen did her bit and sat with Sarah for a while.   So when Brenda returns with Bethany much, much later, Sarah and Todd can't believe she doesn't realise the trouble she's caused and throw her out of the flat. Minutes later we see Brenda standing in the doorway of the butcher shop, her eyes twitching,  neck jerking and sparks of electricity shooting from of the top of her head.  Is she a bona fide weirdo or is it the menopause - who knows?

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

December 8 2003

Hello again, it's me with the flu, doped up on lemsips and hot toddies (which isn't entirely unpleasant) so if i start hallucinating during the update, you know what's to blame.  But first, with only 16 more sleeps till Christmas let's open the weekly update advent calendar and see what's behind the door this week.  Ooh lovely, it's Teddy Sheringham, er, again.  And so without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Loads of strops in the Street this week. First off, major strop from Katie who's had enough of Martin running hither and thither and being at Gail's beck and call. Only he's not, not really, it's just part of David and Craig's plan to split up Martin and Katie.  Platt's problems proliferate this week with Gail crying on Martin's shoulder that nanna Brenda gets to see Bethany more than she does. And then, oh then, Sarah finds out she's pregnant. She doesn't know what to do for the best but Todd's over the moon and begs her to keep the baby.  Nick comes round to the flat to stick his nose into business that's not his and has a go at Todd about being gay so Todd tells him about the baby. Nick tells Gail tells Martin tells Katie.  Voices are raised, strops are taken and Gail just has to have her tuppence worth as she goes round to the flat to say her piece to her daughter: "I want you to have an abortion".  She's harsh with her words but Sarah knows they're true - she's too young and there's Bethany to think about.  Anyway, with Katie and Martin being thrown across the stormy seas of their flat by torrents of jealousy and waves of emotion, Katie packs up and leaves. Tommy and Angela don't know what to believe but Craig hopes his sister has seen sense, will come home and that Tommy will follow so they'll be the dysfunctionally happy family that they once were.

Meanwhile, as if Gail hasn't got enough on her plate, she's advising Nick on his lovelife and discovers he still loves Maria.  He dumps Candice and immediately asks out Maria and when she says no, he strops himself into a taxi and heads down to London. The taxi gets as far as oh, the cornershop (sorry, I'm dying of boredom here, this storyline is so tedious so I'll stop).  Anyway, he's staying on the Street - with Maria.  Gail and Audrey are happy even if 15 million viewers aren't. Mind you, Nick might have given his heart to Maria but it's Gail who's got his balls in her handbag.

Dev and Sunita continue to wind each other up with Dev being sarcastic (but honest) about Ciaran. Sunita won't hear bad of her beloved, she loves him and she's marrying him, even if he doesn't understand her background and  family and the pair of them have a bit of a culture clash in the caff.

Mike and Harry go to the funeral of Preston King and Mike makes merry with the widow, Penny.  A woman with a sharp tongue and some history with Mike, it seems.  Will they rekindle their affair?  Probably, she's got that Coronation Street look about her...

..unlike Cilla, who looks like she's miming her own dialogue while chewing a bag of toffee. She's settling in with Les and upsetting Norris and Emily next door.  I didn't like Fiz when she first came into the Street but she's turned into a great character - and I don't think much of Cilla, so the jury's still out.

Charlie the builder has sacked his labourer and takes Jason on as new boy.  It's left to Eileen to remind Charlie to pay her number one son the salary he deserves but Charlie seems less than forthcoming on the monetary front.  In the Rovers, Shelly hires him to fix the toilets and for a while there's an unfunny storyline involving a unisex (and that'll have the email-cops bouncing the updates back this week) lav that went on for too long. 

Elsewhere of note on the street this week, the bookies has reopened under new management as Peter's sold the shop.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

December 15 2003

Greetings and welcome to the Christmas weekly update. I won't be here next week and your next update will arrive some time the week after so expect it as and when - as I run out of Chrimbo chocolates and when there's nothing on the telly.    Good tidings and great stuff to everyone who reads this, I hope your Christmas is a good one.

Tommy growls and snipes at everyone this week, his flat's in a mess and he drinks himself out of his job at the garage.   This doesn't stop Craig from moving in with his dad, thinking it'll bring the family back together.  In all of this Martin-Katy stuff, it's David and Craig who are suffering the most and Craig thinks he's found a way to get Martin out of their lives forever.  He cuts the brake cables on Martin's car and there's a crash, bang, wallop and the most unconvincing piece of fake wall and dud bricks topple down onto Martin's car before it goes up in flames. Fortunately, I suppose, Tommy pulls Martin out of the car before he dies in the fire but Martin's in intensive care as Katy, Sarah and David bicker over his almost-dead body about who has the most right to be there and the nurse assumes Martin's Katy's dad.

ITV have obviously got a shedload of  bricks as we see them once again when Charlie the builder bricks up the Underworld entrance in his ongoing spat with Mike.  As Mike's executive assistant, it's left to Nick to knock the wall down.  Meanwhile, Mike gets a visit from the merry widow Penny who wants an eye cast over her books, suspecting jiggery-pokery from her new manager. 

Les gets his security tag removed in a rather pointless and unfunny storyline but it does mean he gets to see his mate Charlie West who gives him boxes of Christmas stuff to decorate his house.  There's a Santa in his sleigh, flashing lights everywhere and Norris gets a bee in his bonnet about nuisance neighbours with "dangerous erections on the roof".  Young Chesney manages to make Norris think on about depriving a young lad of his Christmas treat, even if it is noisy, tacky and tasteless.  And a wonderful line in the Kabin when Chesney and uncle Kirk go in there for bubbly:  ....you can chew a bubbly but you can't bubble a chewy".  And how right they are.

Sunita plans her Hindu hen-do and Carian's talked into having a stag night, to which, somehow, he ends up inviting Dev to.  Meanwhile Dev seduces Maya with red roses (long stemmed) and champagne (chilled).  He wants her to move in with him but she's obviously not as green as she's cabbage looking because she turns him down flat. I mean she turns his flat down.  Dev knows Sunita shouldn't be marrying Ciaran. Sunita knows she shouldn't be marrying Ciaran. Even Ciaran knows it.  And Bev. And Shelly.  Hey-ho.

Unbeknownst to Sarah, nanna Brenda of the scary brigade visits Bethany at nursery and waffles on about religion, heaven and hell.  And then she pays Sarah a visit in the cafe reminding her, in tears, that it's her first Christmas without her son Neil.  Sarah's got more pressing things on her mind, still undecided about what to do with the unborn.

And that's just about that for this week. Merry Christmas

Glenda


December 22 2003

Sorry, no update this week, it's Christmas and I'm probably drunk, under the tree


December 29 2003

Sorry, no update this week, I probably haven't sobered up from Christmas


By Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.


  corrie.net
Back to Updates
index page
Back to corrie.net