December 1 2003
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update - with
only another 3 shopping updates till Christmas and then they'll be on special
offer, three for the price of six (terms and conditions apply, your
statutory rights will not be affected). And in the spirit of the season
and to reach the ever expanding European readership of the weekly updates
(bonjour Herr Wolf in Espana) I will be accepting the euro from January.
But first, let's open the weekly update advent calendar and see what's behind
it this week. Ooh, lovely, it's Teddy Sheringham. And now, without
any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
In Blackpool, the Mrs McDonalds are at loggerheads (it's a new ride on
the pleasure beach). Karen and Liz have a right old falling out as
Jim gets arrested while making his bid for freedom in a speedboat to Ireland.
Speed bonny lad with the wings of a dove, over the sea to the central pier.
And back again to return to jail. Well, it's all Ashley's fault. He
takes that Claire one out on a dinghy and they get marooned with baby Josh.
As water leaks in, panic sets in. Fortunately for them, here comes Jim and
Liz making an escape bid to freedom in Ireland but when they spy their Corrie
neighbors adrift without a storyline, they hook them aboard and take them
back to land. Harbour + waiting police + handcuffs = Jim's nicked.
Karen and Liz can't even agree to disagree and Karen tells Steve she won't
have his mother at their wedding, like no way. Steve says way.
Further along the prom, there's a wedding to be going to after Bet explained
the truth to Cecil about the photo of her snogging the face off Jim McDonald
last week. With Liz and Fred as witnesses, they arrive late at the
church, too late for the vicar to service them today. Come back tomorrow at
12.. he says trendily ...he'll have a window then. Never mind,
the wedding dinner's booked so they go off and eat that instead and return
the next day to face that fenetre. Only thing is, just as Bet and Cecil
are about to enter the church, Cecil's son turns up and has a go at his dad
about marrying the old tart, Bet Lynch. Cecil, bless him, collapses
with a heart attack right there at Bet's feet and dies later in his hospital
bed. "Ta-Ra Cruella" says Bet to Karen and off she goes, back to her
pub in Brighton taking Liz with her to work as chief barmaid and generally
to stand beside her in company to make her look kind of normal.
Back in Weatherfield Bev's met a bloke and when Deirdre hears all about
him she fair throws a wobbly. He's dark haired, called John and says
he's an airline pilot. Deirdre wants to be sure it isn't John Lindsay
so after her interview at the town hall for an office job, she pops into
the bar where Bev and pilot-boy are having a drink. It's not the Lindsay
fella, Deirdre tells Bev with relief, but it's too late for Bev to be consoled
by anything. The flames of passion are dimmed as the pilot goes out.
Sick of hanging around in the bar with Bev who was waiting for Deirdre, he
walks out and leaves. Bev sulks at Deirdre and blames her for messing
up her love life but when she hears the full story about John Lindsay from
Mike, she apologises to Deirdre and the two of them make up.
Sunita shops with Shelley for a smashing sari for her special day
while Dev drops hints that Ciaran couldn't care less. It's true,
he couldn't. Meanwhile Dev's relationship with Maya deepens although
the woman is a nutcase if you ask me. I know you didn't, but I'm telling
you anyway. She's a nutcase. She gets sacked from her job doing that
solictary thing at the lawyering place after soliciting client's husbands
and admits to Dev that she's stony broke. And what does he do? Does
he run, run, as fast as he can? No, not Dev, the corner shop man. He asks
her to move in with him. Well, it would be hard to refuse, I mean,
he does have his own personal stock of Tunnocks teacakes.
Nanna Brenda takes little Bethany out to see Santa in a local department
shop and comes wondering back hours later to Sarah and Todd's flat unaware
of the panic she's caused. Brenda's been out for hours, in which time
the police have been called, streets have been searched, hospitals have been
visited, Todd's done his nut and Sarah's cried her eyes out. No one,
however, tells Gail what's gone on, although Eileen did her bit and sat
with Sarah for a while. So when Brenda returns with Bethany
much, much later, Sarah and Todd can't believe she doesn't realise the trouble
she's caused and throw her out of the flat. Minutes later we see Brenda standing
in the doorway of the butcher shop, her eyes twitching, neck jerking
and sparks of electricity shooting from of the top of her head. Is
she a bona fide weirdo or is it the menopause - who knows?
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
December 8 2003
Hello again, it's me with the flu, doped up on lemsips
and hot toddies (which isn't entirely unpleasant) so if i start hallucinating
during the update, you know what's to blame. But first, with only
16 more sleeps till Christmas let's open the weekly update advent calendar
and see what's behind the door this week. Ooh lovely, it's Teddy Sheringham,
er, again. And so without any further ado, here we go with this week's
Coronation Street update.
Loads of strops in the Street this week. First off, major strop from Katie
who's had enough of Martin running hither and thither and being at Gail's
beck and call. Only he's not, not really, it's just part of David and Craig's
plan to split up Martin and Katie. Platt's problems proliferate this
week with Gail crying on Martin's shoulder that nanna Brenda gets to see
Bethany more than she does. And then, oh then, Sarah finds out she's pregnant.
She doesn't know what to do for the best but Todd's over the moon and begs
her to keep the baby. Nick comes round to the flat to stick his nose
into business that's not his and has a go at Todd about being gay so Todd
tells him about the baby. Nick tells Gail tells Martin tells Katie.
Voices are raised, strops are taken and Gail just has to have her tuppence
worth as she goes round to the flat to say her piece to her daughter: "I
want you to have an abortion". She's harsh with her words but Sarah
knows they're true - she's too young and there's Bethany to think about.
Anyway, with Katie and Martin being thrown across the stormy seas of their
flat by torrents of jealousy and waves of emotion, Katie packs up and leaves.
Tommy and Angela don't know what to believe but Craig hopes his sister has
seen sense, will come home and that Tommy will follow so they'll be the dysfunctionally
happy family that they once were.
Meanwhile, as if Gail hasn't got enough on her plate, she's advising Nick
on his lovelife and discovers he still loves Maria. He dumps Candice
and immediately asks out Maria and when she says no, he strops himself into
a taxi and heads down to London. The taxi gets as far as oh, the cornershop
(sorry, I'm dying of boredom here, this storyline is so tedious so I'll
stop). Anyway, he's staying on the Street - with Maria. Gail
and Audrey are happy even if 15 million viewers aren't. Mind you, Nick might
have given his heart to Maria but it's Gail who's got his balls in her handbag.
Dev and Sunita continue to wind each other up with Dev being sarcastic
(but honest) about Ciaran. Sunita won't hear bad of her beloved, she loves
him and she's marrying him, even if he doesn't understand her background
and family and the pair of them have a bit of a culture clash in the
caff.
Mike and Harry go to the funeral of Preston King and Mike makes merry with
the widow, Penny. A woman with a sharp tongue and some history with
Mike, it seems. Will they rekindle their affair? Probably, she's
got that Coronation Street look about her...
..unlike Cilla, who looks like she's miming her own dialogue while chewing
a bag of toffee. She's settling in with Les and upsetting Norris and Emily
next door. I didn't like Fiz when she first came into the Street but
she's turned into a great character - and I don't think much of Cilla, so
the jury's still out.
Charlie the builder has sacked his labourer and takes Jason on as new boy.
It's left to Eileen to remind Charlie to pay her number one son the salary
he deserves but Charlie seems less than forthcoming on the monetary front.
In the Rovers, Shelly hires him to fix the toilets and for a while there's
an unfunny storyline involving a unisex (and that'll have the email-cops
bouncing the updates back this week) lav that went on for too long.
Elsewhere of note on the street this week, the bookies has reopened under
new management as Peter's sold the shop.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
December 15 2003
Greetings and welcome to the Christmas weekly update.
I won't be here next week and your next update will arrive some time the week
after so expect it as and when - as I run out of Chrimbo chocolates
and when there's nothing on the telly. Good tidings
and great stuff to everyone who reads this, I hope your Christmas is a good
one.
Tommy growls and snipes at everyone this week, his flat's in a mess and
he drinks himself out of his job at the garage. This doesn't
stop Craig from moving in with his dad, thinking it'll bring the family back
together. In all of this Martin-Katy stuff, it's David and Craig who
are suffering the most and Craig thinks he's found a way to get Martin out
of their lives forever. He cuts the brake cables on Martin's car and
there's a crash, bang, wallop and the most unconvincing piece of fake wall
and dud bricks topple down onto Martin's car before it goes up in flames.
Fortunately, I suppose, Tommy pulls Martin out of the car before he dies
in the fire but Martin's in intensive care as Katy, Sarah and David bicker
over his almost-dead body about who has the most right to be there and the
nurse assumes Martin's Katy's dad.
ITV have obviously got a shedload of bricks as we see them once
again when Charlie the builder bricks up the Underworld entrance in his ongoing
spat with Mike. As Mike's executive assistant, it's left to Nick to
knock the wall down. Meanwhile, Mike gets a visit from the merry widow
Penny who wants an eye cast over her books, suspecting jiggery-pokery from
her new manager.
Les gets his security tag removed in a rather pointless and unfunny storyline
but it does mean he gets to see his mate Charlie West who gives him boxes
of Christmas stuff to decorate his house. There's a Santa in his sleigh,
flashing lights everywhere and Norris gets a bee in his bonnet about nuisance
neighbours with "dangerous erections on the roof". Young Chesney manages
to make Norris think on about depriving a young lad of his Christmas treat,
even if it is noisy, tacky and tasteless. And a wonderful line in the
Kabin when Chesney and uncle Kirk go in there for bubbly: ....you can
chew a bubbly but you can't bubble a chewy". And how right they are.
Sunita plans her Hindu hen-do and Carian's talked into having a stag night,
to which, somehow, he ends up inviting Dev to. Meanwhile Dev seduces
Maya with red roses (long stemmed) and champagne (chilled). He wants
her to move in with him but she's obviously not as green as she's cabbage
looking because she turns him down flat. I mean she turns his flat down.
Dev knows Sunita shouldn't be marrying Ciaran. Sunita knows she shouldn't
be marrying Ciaran. Even Ciaran knows it. And Bev. And Shelly.
Hey-ho.
Unbeknownst to Sarah, nanna Brenda of the scary brigade visits Bethany at
nursery and waffles on about religion, heaven and hell. And then she
pays Sarah a visit in the cafe reminding her, in tears, that it's her first
Christmas without her son Neil. Sarah's got more pressing things on
her mind, still undecided about what to do with the unborn.
And that's just about that for this week. Merry Christmas
Glenda
December 22 2003
Sorry, no update this week, it's Christmas and
I'm probably drunk, under the tree
December 29 2003
Sorry, no update this week, I probably haven't sobered up
from Christmas
By Glenda
Young , writer of
Coronation Street Weekly Updates
for the internet since 1995.