Happy New Year and welcome to another weekly update.
I know I promised you one last week but I was too busy dancing round the
Christmas tree with a bottle of Baileys Irish in one hand and a box of chocolate
liqueurs in the other while having a good cry at The Sound of Music on TV.
Corrie over Christmas has had me doodling instead of ogling, with storylines
as stodgy as an old figgy pudding and dialogue less sparkling (and more
predictable) than the jokes from a cracker. But anyway, there's lots
to catch up on. So without any further ado, here we go with this
week's, last week's and the week before's Coronation Street update.
Now then, where were we? Ah yes, Martin's in hospital after Craig cut the brakes on his car. Tommy 'fesses to the coppers and says it were him, like, but Craig tells Martin the truth. Katy wants Martin to call the cops but Martin says enough damage has been done and doesn't make the call. Things settle down, Tommy and Craig move back home to Angela and while not a thorough thawing, there's a definite defrosting of Tommy towards Katy and Martin.
On Christmas day at the Barlow's, Blanche gives Deirdre oven gloves; Deirdre gives Blanche a blouse and Blanche gives Tracy the house down the street. Yes, Blanche has bought No. 7 (Curly's old house) from under the noses of the Croppers who wanted to buy it themselves, and has given the house to her greedy grand-daughter and great-grand-child to be. This causes much tension between Blanche and Deirdre - who feels her mother's forgotten her priorities and has gone straight to Tracy with her money and affection rather than to her. After arguments and snide comments, Deirdre tells Blanche to pack her bags and leave. Blanche shuffles down the street with her dented pride and her suitcases - all the way to Tracy's - who isn't best pleased to have her gran move in. Blanche reminds Tracy, however, that although the house is hers to live in, it's Blanche who owns it so she'd best think on. Another Christmas day bombshell is dropped when Tracy tells Steve he's the father of her baby and Steve tells Tracy he wants nowt to do with her.
Steve and Karen continue to plan their big fat greedy wedding with a cherry on the top and Steve has asked twin brother Andy to fly in from Spain to be his best man. Karen, however, isn't best pleased to learn that Steve wants Liz to be there too. She's just, like, no way.
Betty sets off for Christmas in London with son Gordon and his missus but after a mix-up at his end and a small house fire at hers, Betty spends Christmas at the Rovers in the spare room, mainly feeling sorry for herself but let's face it, who'd blame her?
Nanna Brenda gives Sarah and Todd a TV for Christmas and while they're grateful for her gifts and for babysitting Bethany, bad vibes begin when Ashley gives Sarah odd news. Ash is at the cemetery talking to Maxine when he spies Bethany wandering around the graveyard alone. When Brenda catches up with Bethany, Ashley wants to know what's going on and Brenda yells at him to keep away from her 'daughter'. Sarah and Todd decide it's best for Brenda not to see Bethany any more so Brenda kidnaps Bethany from nursery, takes her up on a church roof and tells Bethany she's going to see her daddy in heaven. Meanwhile, Emily gets wind of what's going on and dashes to the church. She arrives just in the nick of time to catch the credits roll as Brenda stares out into the darkness from the roof of the church and threatens to jump, taking Bethany with her.
Fiz and Kirk fall out after Cilla, a nasty piece of work, sticks her oar in to stir things up for her daughter. Fiz and Tyrone end up together on Christmas night after Fiz and Cilla argue in Les' house. Tyrone's got some beer and Fiz sleeps on the sofa, it was as innocent as that (at least I think it was, I dozed off myself at this point). But Cilla's determined to let Kirk know that Fiz has done him wrong and there's a love-triangle-stand-off in all four corners of the Rovers later - in the blue corner is Tyrone with Jack and Vera; in the green corner by the cigarette machine is Fiz with Janice for support and in the red corner is Kirk with Cilla and Les. And so besotted with Cilla is Les that he finally agrees to sign the divorce papers for Janice this week.
A wedding was planned, if you recall, for Sunita and Ciaran this Christmas. After telling Sunita that she's too good for Ciaran, Dev tags along on the stag-do and gets a thump from Ciaran, who gets arrested and put in the cells for the night. Anyway, not surprisingly, it's one of those Corrie weddings that gets to the part that goes: "Do you take this man*.." and Sunita of course, doesn't. She runs out of the wedding, with Shelley in tow and a bridesmaid's frock and says she can't do it, because she knows deep down that Ciaran doesn't want to do it either. Next day Sunita goes to see Dev and things are said between them, although not too much, as Dev and Maya are now living together and he feels it's too late for Sunita and him.
By far the best storyline has been the Cropper's virtual baby - a crying, plastic doll that Roy insists will stand them in good stead to practise on before the real baby arrives. Mind you, although it worked for the virtual baby, taking a real baby out for a walk in Roy's shopping bag may not be for the best.
And on New Years Eve in the Rovers, there's a Promise Auction to raise funds for the Friends of Weatherfield Hospital (aka Emily). Harry auctions off his cleaning skills: "I'll make your knob shine and clean your nooks and crannies" - sold to Blanche for £12. Steve auctions off a chauffeured trip to town - sold to Tracy (who wants to be alone with him), to Karen (who wants him for herself), to Tracy (who's desperate), to Karen (who's worried), to Tracy (I want him!), to Karen (no one else is having him!). Going, going, gone, to Karen for a whopping £150.00, which delights Emily no end. Norris auctions off his obsessive-compulsiveness, offering to sort out and send out greetings cards to everyone in someone's address book. With no takers, Rita spares his blushes and pledges a pound - and it's sold to the lady in the cardi with the hair and the vodka. Wasting no time, Norris gets to work, tut-tutting at the amount of men in Rita's little black book and sending cards out to people she hasn't seen in twenty years. Offering £7.30, Janice beats Cilla's bid of £5.00 to win Les and his offer to "do anything". Janice subcontracts Les out to the factory girls and gets him up to all sorts of cleaning stuff. This upsets Cilla no end, which is great.
And finally, Vera's over the moon when their Terry sends them one of those big American fridge-freezers for Christmas. Only trouble is, it won't fit through the front door and has to come round the back. Even then it rips off the door frame and causes all sorts of problems before it gets inside the house. Charlie the builder is called and reckons £2,000 for building work to get the door put back and things straightened in the kitchen. The Duckies can't afford it but Jack's got a plan and trades in the fridge-freezer as part payment on the building work, much to Charlie's delight, leaving £1,500 for them to find to pay him. Vera pawns her engagement ring and wrings her hands at the kitchen table, feeling sorry for herself - once again.
And that's just about that for the festive season. See you next week.
Now then, where were we? Ah yes, Martin's in hospital after Craig cut the brakes on his car. Tommy 'fesses to the coppers and says it were him, like, but Craig tells Martin the truth. Katy wants Martin to call the cops but Martin says enough damage has been done and doesn't make the call. Things settle down, Tommy and Craig move back home to Angela and while not a thorough thawing, there's a definite defrosting of Tommy towards Katy and Martin.
On Christmas day at the Barlow's, Blanche gives Deirdre oven gloves; Deirdre gives Blanche a blouse and Blanche gives Tracy the house down the street. Yes, Blanche has bought No. 7 (Curly's old house) from under the noses of the Croppers who wanted to buy it themselves, and has given the house to her greedy grand-daughter and great-grand-child to be. This causes much tension between Blanche and Deirdre - who feels her mother's forgotten her priorities and has gone straight to Tracy with her money and affection rather than to her. After arguments and snide comments, Deirdre tells Blanche to pack her bags and leave. Blanche shuffles down the street with her dented pride and her suitcases - all the way to Tracy's - who isn't best pleased to have her gran move in. Blanche reminds Tracy, however, that although the house is hers to live in, it's Blanche who owns it so she'd best think on. Another Christmas day bombshell is dropped when Tracy tells Steve he's the father of her baby and Steve tells Tracy he wants nowt to do with her.
Steve and Karen continue to plan their big fat greedy wedding with a cherry on the top and Steve has asked twin brother Andy to fly in from Spain to be his best man. Karen, however, isn't best pleased to learn that Steve wants Liz to be there too. She's just, like, no way.
Betty sets off for Christmas in London with son Gordon and his missus but after a mix-up at his end and a small house fire at hers, Betty spends Christmas at the Rovers in the spare room, mainly feeling sorry for herself but let's face it, who'd blame her?
Nanna Brenda gives Sarah and Todd a TV for Christmas and while they're grateful for her gifts and for babysitting Bethany, bad vibes begin when Ashley gives Sarah odd news. Ash is at the cemetery talking to Maxine when he spies Bethany wandering around the graveyard alone. When Brenda catches up with Bethany, Ashley wants to know what's going on and Brenda yells at him to keep away from her 'daughter'. Sarah and Todd decide it's best for Brenda not to see Bethany any more so Brenda kidnaps Bethany from nursery, takes her up on a church roof and tells Bethany she's going to see her daddy in heaven. Meanwhile, Emily gets wind of what's going on and dashes to the church. She arrives just in the nick of time to catch the credits roll as Brenda stares out into the darkness from the roof of the church and threatens to jump, taking Bethany with her.
Fiz and Kirk fall out after Cilla, a nasty piece of work, sticks her oar in to stir things up for her daughter. Fiz and Tyrone end up together on Christmas night after Fiz and Cilla argue in Les' house. Tyrone's got some beer and Fiz sleeps on the sofa, it was as innocent as that (at least I think it was, I dozed off myself at this point). But Cilla's determined to let Kirk know that Fiz has done him wrong and there's a love-triangle-stand-off in all four corners of the Rovers later - in the blue corner is Tyrone with Jack and Vera; in the green corner by the cigarette machine is Fiz with Janice for support and in the red corner is Kirk with Cilla and Les. And so besotted with Cilla is Les that he finally agrees to sign the divorce papers for Janice this week.
A wedding was planned, if you recall, for Sunita and Ciaran this Christmas. After telling Sunita that she's too good for Ciaran, Dev tags along on the stag-do and gets a thump from Ciaran, who gets arrested and put in the cells for the night. Anyway, not surprisingly, it's one of those Corrie weddings that gets to the part that goes: "Do you take this man*.." and Sunita of course, doesn't. She runs out of the wedding, with Shelley in tow and a bridesmaid's frock and says she can't do it, because she knows deep down that Ciaran doesn't want to do it either. Next day Sunita goes to see Dev and things are said between them, although not too much, as Dev and Maya are now living together and he feels it's too late for Sunita and him.
By far the best storyline has been the Cropper's virtual baby - a crying, plastic doll that Roy insists will stand them in good stead to practise on before the real baby arrives. Mind you, although it worked for the virtual baby, taking a real baby out for a walk in Roy's shopping bag may not be for the best.
And on New Years Eve in the Rovers, there's a Promise Auction to raise funds for the Friends of Weatherfield Hospital (aka Emily). Harry auctions off his cleaning skills: "I'll make your knob shine and clean your nooks and crannies" - sold to Blanche for £12. Steve auctions off a chauffeured trip to town - sold to Tracy (who wants to be alone with him), to Karen (who wants him for herself), to Tracy (who's desperate), to Karen (who's worried), to Tracy (I want him!), to Karen (no one else is having him!). Going, going, gone, to Karen for a whopping £150.00, which delights Emily no end. Norris auctions off his obsessive-compulsiveness, offering to sort out and send out greetings cards to everyone in someone's address book. With no takers, Rita spares his blushes and pledges a pound - and it's sold to the lady in the cardi with the hair and the vodka. Wasting no time, Norris gets to work, tut-tutting at the amount of men in Rita's little black book and sending cards out to people she hasn't seen in twenty years. Offering £7.30, Janice beats Cilla's bid of £5.00 to win Les and his offer to "do anything". Janice subcontracts Les out to the factory girls and gets him up to all sorts of cleaning stuff. This upsets Cilla no end, which is great.
And finally, Vera's over the moon when their Terry sends them one of those big American fridge-freezers for Christmas. Only trouble is, it won't fit through the front door and has to come round the back. Even then it rips off the door frame and causes all sorts of problems before it gets inside the house. Charlie the builder is called and reckons £2,000 for building work to get the door put back and things straightened in the kitchen. The Duckies can't afford it but Jack's got a plan and trades in the fridge-freezer as part payment on the building work, much to Charlie's delight, leaving £1,500 for them to find to pay him. Vera pawns her engagement ring and wrings her hands at the kitchen table, feeling sorry for herself - once again.
And that's just about that for the festive season. See you next week.
Glenda
January 12, 2004
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update, brought
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Terms and conditions apply. And so, without any further ado, here we
go with this week's Coronation Street update.
While Deirdre's slaving away in her new PA job at the council, Ken cooks lamb chops as a surprise dinner after her first day at work. Only thing is, Deirdre's in the Rovers with a colleague knocking back the red wine and chatting up cheeky chappy, the chippy Charlie Stubbs. Ken drags Deirdre home to a couple of burnt chops and a bit of a talking to about asbestos he's seen in Charlie's building yard. Deirdre says she'll have a word wi' someone at t'council but all she does is ask Charlie to move it, which he does, and only to keep on the sweet side of Deirdre, thinking she's got some influence over lucrative council building contracts at work.
Charlie's chat up lines may be corny but they work on Deirdre, and so it seems, on Bev who ogles him by the optics from behind the bar in the Rovers. "Oooh* I could eat him in a butty" she tells Shelley, who tells her mam to think on and not lose her head over a younger bloke. In the Rovers, aware of Bev's stare, Charlie flexes his muscles in his tight little t-shirt and Bev drops the glass from her hand as she stands there in awe. Bev and Charlie set up a date but just as he's due to take her out for the evening he gets a call on his mobile to fix a radiator leak, which takes Bev's hot water tank right off the boil. Jason's now working for Charlie, learning the building trade along with the Stubbs way to treat women, which might work for Charlie but fails miserably for Jase when both Claire and Candice knock him back this week.
Cast your mind back to last week when Nanna Brenda threatened to jump with little Bethany from the roof of a church. It all ended well, as is Corrie's wont, with Emily talking Brenda down from the roof and into an institution to deal with her problems. "It's very secure, apparently" gossips Norris in the Kabin. Gail overhears what's gone on with her grandchild and is straight round to see Sarah who's still shaken by it all. After a few arguments and tears, Gail and Sarah are hugging and making up before Sarah lays another bombshell and says she and Todd are getting wed. Gail's accepting; Eileen's furious; Nick smugly tells Sarah that Todd is still gay, wedding or not, and Jason wants to know if he can be the best man. Eileen finally comes round after Gail has a chat, telling Eileen to accept the idea of the wedding rather than lose Todd for good.
In the Kabin there's problems with kids shoplifting and breaking a window with their football. Chesney's in bad company, having teamed up with that lad, you know, the one who's brother had a lazy eye and used to deliver papers for Rita (but who's name escapes me now). Anyway, this lad gives Chesney a list of sweets he wants nicked from the Kabin and with nothing better to do, having been thrown out of the house by Cilla who wants her feet up, telly on and her kid out of the way,
Chesney does what this lad asks. First on the list of goodies to be nicked was a packet of Tunnocks caramel wafers * so whatever this kid was, at least he had good taste (www.tunnocks.co.uk). Rita catches Chesney nicking the stuff and they have a bit of a tussle. He calls her an old cow, she calls him a little hooligan and cuffs him round the ear. As Chesney turns to leave the shop, he bumps into shelves and knocks himself over, getting a bump and a bruise for his trouble. Rita's beside herself with worry and makes sure that Chesney's ok later on, which he very clearly is. Les backs up Rita, saying she did the best thing to give him a clip on the ear for shoplifting. But when Cilla, a nasty piece of work, returns home she drags Chesney to hospital, gets him scanned and x-rayed before telling Rita she's going to sue her for every penny she's got.
Elsewhere this week, dark horse Harry lets slip he's got a daughter and that he's also very keen to set up a charity shop with Emily. She wants to think about it for a while but when Norris harps on that it would cause him no end of problems and disruption to his very strict domestic routine if she should go out to work, she tells Harry she'll do it, oh yes.
And finally this week, Dev starts to wonder what's going on in Maya's mind when she drags him out on a shopping trip even though she's broke, in debt and unemployed. She falls in love with a £300 vase, vacuous tart that she is, but Dev manages to persuade her she can't afford it, he doesn't like it and that she really needs to curb her spending obsession. When they get back to the flat, the vase is there with them. She's nicked it and isn't contrite, just surprised (surprised!) at Dev's reaction to the theft. Throw her out now Dev, before Sunita comes back and then you and she can live happily ever after, your life one long partay.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
While Deirdre's slaving away in her new PA job at the council, Ken cooks lamb chops as a surprise dinner after her first day at work. Only thing is, Deirdre's in the Rovers with a colleague knocking back the red wine and chatting up cheeky chappy, the chippy Charlie Stubbs. Ken drags Deirdre home to a couple of burnt chops and a bit of a talking to about asbestos he's seen in Charlie's building yard. Deirdre says she'll have a word wi' someone at t'council but all she does is ask Charlie to move it, which he does, and only to keep on the sweet side of Deirdre, thinking she's got some influence over lucrative council building contracts at work.
Charlie's chat up lines may be corny but they work on Deirdre, and so it seems, on Bev who ogles him by the optics from behind the bar in the Rovers. "Oooh* I could eat him in a butty" she tells Shelley, who tells her mam to think on and not lose her head over a younger bloke. In the Rovers, aware of Bev's stare, Charlie flexes his muscles in his tight little t-shirt and Bev drops the glass from her hand as she stands there in awe. Bev and Charlie set up a date but just as he's due to take her out for the evening he gets a call on his mobile to fix a radiator leak, which takes Bev's hot water tank right off the boil. Jason's now working for Charlie, learning the building trade along with the Stubbs way to treat women, which might work for Charlie but fails miserably for Jase when both Claire and Candice knock him back this week.
Cast your mind back to last week when Nanna Brenda threatened to jump with little Bethany from the roof of a church. It all ended well, as is Corrie's wont, with Emily talking Brenda down from the roof and into an institution to deal with her problems. "It's very secure, apparently" gossips Norris in the Kabin. Gail overhears what's gone on with her grandchild and is straight round to see Sarah who's still shaken by it all. After a few arguments and tears, Gail and Sarah are hugging and making up before Sarah lays another bombshell and says she and Todd are getting wed. Gail's accepting; Eileen's furious; Nick smugly tells Sarah that Todd is still gay, wedding or not, and Jason wants to know if he can be the best man. Eileen finally comes round after Gail has a chat, telling Eileen to accept the idea of the wedding rather than lose Todd for good.
In the Kabin there's problems with kids shoplifting and breaking a window with their football. Chesney's in bad company, having teamed up with that lad, you know, the one who's brother had a lazy eye and used to deliver papers for Rita (but who's name escapes me now). Anyway, this lad gives Chesney a list of sweets he wants nicked from the Kabin and with nothing better to do, having been thrown out of the house by Cilla who wants her feet up, telly on and her kid out of the way,
Chesney does what this lad asks. First on the list of goodies to be nicked was a packet of Tunnocks caramel wafers * so whatever this kid was, at least he had good taste (www.tunnocks.co.uk). Rita catches Chesney nicking the stuff and they have a bit of a tussle. He calls her an old cow, she calls him a little hooligan and cuffs him round the ear. As Chesney turns to leave the shop, he bumps into shelves and knocks himself over, getting a bump and a bruise for his trouble. Rita's beside herself with worry and makes sure that Chesney's ok later on, which he very clearly is. Les backs up Rita, saying she did the best thing to give him a clip on the ear for shoplifting. But when Cilla, a nasty piece of work, returns home she drags Chesney to hospital, gets him scanned and x-rayed before telling Rita she's going to sue her for every penny she's got.
Elsewhere this week, dark horse Harry lets slip he's got a daughter and that he's also very keen to set up a charity shop with Emily. She wants to think about it for a while but when Norris harps on that it would cause him no end of problems and disruption to his very strict domestic routine if she should go out to work, she tells Harry she'll do it, oh yes.
And finally this week, Dev starts to wonder what's going on in Maya's mind when she drags him out on a shopping trip even though she's broke, in debt and unemployed. She falls in love with a £300 vase, vacuous tart that she is, but Dev manages to persuade her she can't afford it, he doesn't like it and that she really needs to curb her spending obsession. When they get back to the flat, the vase is there with them. She's nicked it and isn't contrite, just surprised (surprised!) at Dev's reaction to the theft. Throw her out now Dev, before Sunita comes back and then you and she can live happily ever after, your life one long partay.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
January 19, 2004
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update and
I know I always say that, but I mean it, I do. It's been a good week
with strong storylines and good dialogue, Corrie's definitely going through
one of its peaks at the minute after the troughing along with the Martin/Katy
storyline of late which was so dire it even had me contemplating switching
over to the other side, you know, returning to Eastenders after not watching
it since 1982. Honestly. But anyway,without any further ado, here
we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Story of the week has been Cilla vs Rita over Chesney's clout in the Kabin. Rita gets arrested for ABH and is found guilty as charged on the count of Awfully Big Hair and is released on bail for Actual Bodily Harm against little Chesney (described this week by The Guardian as "a mini Chuckle brother"). Cilla gets herself one of them 'no-win, no-fee' solicitors on the recommendation of a woman who got six thousand pounds for being stuck to a turkey. The solicitor reckons the case is worth £500 so Cilla tells Rita she'll go for an out of court settlement for £5,000 and promises Chesney a holida in Florida. Les goes along with Cilla's plans mostly, but voices concern about being an innocent caught up with the law, summat he knows about but Cilla pays no mind. She wheedles poor Rita summat rotten and the actress who plays Cilla, Wendi Peters, is doing a fantastic job. "I'm as sensitive as the next woman" says Cilla - the next woman being Margaret Thatcher we presume. Things get too much for Rita and there's tears in a nasty cardigan in the back room of the Kabin with Norris and in the front of the Kabin with Audrey. It's Audrey who tells Rita to pull herself together, put her make-up and glad rags on and get down to the Rovers to face the world and Cilla. "Lovey... " Audrey says, "...it's the world gone mad, not you". And when Cilla has a go at Rita in the Rovers, Rita faces the challenge and holds her own. If there was ever any doubt that Rita was losing the strength that has made her one of the Street's all-time top women and my favourite female character ever, it was dispelled in that scene - but the force of it knocked her for six. "Double brandy for Mrs Sullivan", Fred tells Shelley, as Rita wonders if she's just gone and made things worse for herself.
Mad Maya tells Dev she's ready to take back the stolen vase to the store she nicked it from last week but she gets as far as Todd by the till in the corner shop. When she hears Todd say he's saving up to get married, she gives him the vase as a wedding gift, much to Dev's amazement. The woman's an utter nutter.
Bev and Charlie have lunch together at the Weatherfield Arms then they go back to his place where Bev falls into the builder's arms. She's like a giddy schoolgirl when she gets back to the Rovers afterwards. However, word soon spreads about the two of them and Charlie's not happy to hear they're talk of the pub. He has a few words with Bev and tries to cool things off but the woman's got an itch to scratch and she just won't leave him alone.
Kirk's not sleeping or eating and can only think about how much he's missing Fiz. He asks Tyrone to have a word with her, to find out what he has to do to get back in her good books. However, Tyrone wants Fiz for himself so communication gets skewed from Fiz to Kirk when Tyrone doesn't pass on all the right words and makes some up of his own. As Fiz and Tyrone get passionate after cheap chips and lager, Kirk's outside the flat throwing bunches of flowers at the window, his big romantic gesture. "I want you to marry me!" he cries. "I can't," comes the answer, "I'm your sister". Oops, wrong window. By the time he starts crooning Slim Shady to Fiz at her window, she's done the business with Tyrone and they're both still in bed. Tyrone and Kirk both want Fiz for their own, she doesn't know who she wants but when Kirk sees Tyrone at the bedroom window, he's in tears again, thinking Fiz has already made her decision.
Kev takes Tommy back on at the garage as he needs a mechanic and Tommy needs a job. Tommy tells Kev he's cutting down on his drinking - which he seems to be - but only when Kevin's around.
Maria points out to Fred that she's seen sparks between Ashley and Claire so he decides on a plan that'll give the two young 'uns some time on their own int'house. He spirits baby Josh away to Maxine's parents for a few days and takes himself off to Umbria, it's in Italy, you know. Ashley knows what's going on and doesn't seem, as yet, too phased by the idea.
And finally this week, the widow Penny King turns up in the Rovers to meet Mike for a drink. He's delayed at the factory so she and Fred get chatting and he asks her out on a date, to which she accepts. How lovely, I say, Mike'll not be best pleased when he finds out.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Story of the week has been Cilla vs Rita over Chesney's clout in the Kabin. Rita gets arrested for ABH and is found guilty as charged on the count of Awfully Big Hair and is released on bail for Actual Bodily Harm against little Chesney (described this week by The Guardian as "a mini Chuckle brother"). Cilla gets herself one of them 'no-win, no-fee' solicitors on the recommendation of a woman who got six thousand pounds for being stuck to a turkey. The solicitor reckons the case is worth £500 so Cilla tells Rita she'll go for an out of court settlement for £5,000 and promises Chesney a holida in Florida. Les goes along with Cilla's plans mostly, but voices concern about being an innocent caught up with the law, summat he knows about but Cilla pays no mind. She wheedles poor Rita summat rotten and the actress who plays Cilla, Wendi Peters, is doing a fantastic job. "I'm as sensitive as the next woman" says Cilla - the next woman being Margaret Thatcher we presume. Things get too much for Rita and there's tears in a nasty cardigan in the back room of the Kabin with Norris and in the front of the Kabin with Audrey. It's Audrey who tells Rita to pull herself together, put her make-up and glad rags on and get down to the Rovers to face the world and Cilla. "Lovey... " Audrey says, "...it's the world gone mad, not you". And when Cilla has a go at Rita in the Rovers, Rita faces the challenge and holds her own. If there was ever any doubt that Rita was losing the strength that has made her one of the Street's all-time top women and my favourite female character ever, it was dispelled in that scene - but the force of it knocked her for six. "Double brandy for Mrs Sullivan", Fred tells Shelley, as Rita wonders if she's just gone and made things worse for herself.
Mad Maya tells Dev she's ready to take back the stolen vase to the store she nicked it from last week but she gets as far as Todd by the till in the corner shop. When she hears Todd say he's saving up to get married, she gives him the vase as a wedding gift, much to Dev's amazement. The woman's an utter nutter.
Bev and Charlie have lunch together at the Weatherfield Arms then they go back to his place where Bev falls into the builder's arms. She's like a giddy schoolgirl when she gets back to the Rovers afterwards. However, word soon spreads about the two of them and Charlie's not happy to hear they're talk of the pub. He has a few words with Bev and tries to cool things off but the woman's got an itch to scratch and she just won't leave him alone.
Kirk's not sleeping or eating and can only think about how much he's missing Fiz. He asks Tyrone to have a word with her, to find out what he has to do to get back in her good books. However, Tyrone wants Fiz for himself so communication gets skewed from Fiz to Kirk when Tyrone doesn't pass on all the right words and makes some up of his own. As Fiz and Tyrone get passionate after cheap chips and lager, Kirk's outside the flat throwing bunches of flowers at the window, his big romantic gesture. "I want you to marry me!" he cries. "I can't," comes the answer, "I'm your sister". Oops, wrong window. By the time he starts crooning Slim Shady to Fiz at her window, she's done the business with Tyrone and they're both still in bed. Tyrone and Kirk both want Fiz for their own, she doesn't know who she wants but when Kirk sees Tyrone at the bedroom window, he's in tears again, thinking Fiz has already made her decision.
Kev takes Tommy back on at the garage as he needs a mechanic and Tommy needs a job. Tommy tells Kev he's cutting down on his drinking - which he seems to be - but only when Kevin's around.
Maria points out to Fred that she's seen sparks between Ashley and Claire so he decides on a plan that'll give the two young 'uns some time on their own int'house. He spirits baby Josh away to Maxine's parents for a few days and takes himself off to Umbria, it's in Italy, you know. Ashley knows what's going on and doesn't seem, as yet, too phased by the idea.
And finally this week, the widow Penny King turns up in the Rovers to meet Mike for a drink. He's delayed at the factory so she and Fred get chatting and he asks her out on a date, to which she accepts. How lovely, I say, Mike'll not be best pleased when he finds out.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
January 26, 2004
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update.
It's been another cracking week on the cobbles with continuing strong dialogue
and decent acting. That's excluding, however, the stodgy, dodgy writing for
the scenes between Steve and Tracy this week which have let the side down.
Also this week, my thanks go to Barry for the Darren Day joke*. Anyway,
without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Fiz 's fellas are in frenzy as Tyrone and Kirk fight over her in the garage where there's fisticuffs by a clapped out big end. With both of them pledging their troth and asking for Fiz's hand in marriage she's torn and can't make a decision. Tyrone overhears Fiz say she wants to be swept off her feet by a knight on a white charger. He hires the horse, it gallops past the factory as Fiz is coming out of work and he falls off, ending up with his arm in a sling for his trouble. Anyway, Fiz asks them both to make a list of their top 3 Fiz fun facts - things they like best about her. Tyrone plumps for 1) Eyes, 2) Sense of humour and 3) Something that he whispers in her ear that puts a knowing smile on her face. Kirk's a bit more subtle and tells Fiz it's her 1) Past - because it's made her what she is, 2) Present - because she brightens his day and 3) Future - because he wants it to be with him. In all this tension between Tyrone and Kirk, Jack tells Tyrone to remember Kirk's his best mate: "If Kirk were a female, there'd be no need for Fiz." Jack says. Later in the Rovers Tyrone buys a reluctant Kirk a pint as animosity starts to thaw between them. Until, that is, Karen tells Fiz it's no good having blokes wrapped around her little finger, it's the finger next to it on her left hand that an engagement ring should be wrapped around - and then it's war all over again. Tyrone's first off the block and down on his knees in Fiz's flat. "It's not real," he says, "It's diamonday". (*Not to be confused with darrenday who also turns up regularly at cheap and tacky engagements). Anyway, not too surprisingly, Fiz turns him down and tells him to keep the ring for when he meets someone special. "I already have." says a saddened Tyrone.
Karen's plans for her wedding steam ahead as she hires an 'arpist - to play Wonderwall. She's off to gawk at some wedding fayre (£18 entry fee, free confetti, frocks that make your bum look enormous, satin shoes and chimney sweeps). Steve doesn't want to go with her and they argue, of course, then he ends up helping Tracy move furniture into No. 7. And then it got rather dull. Tracy tells Steve she loves him and adores him and wants him to be daddy to the babby but Steve tells Tracy he wants nowt to do with her. And this kind of went on all week with Tracy threatening to tell Karen the truth about the baby. She doesn't, but she plans to ruin Karen's wedding one way or t'other. She calls the wedding venue pretending to be Karen and tells the wedding coordinator the whole thing's been called off.
Meanwhile Roy and Hayley anticipate arrival of the baby and decorate the spare room as a nursery, throwing out their old jigsaws to make room in the flat. Roy picks up a cheap old fashioned pram, the sort that comes complete with its own Norland Nanny. Hayley points out how ridiculous it is while Harry marvels at its good old-fashioned British engineering. Anyway, it's replaced soon after with a more modern version as Roy frets endlessly on whether Tracy will sell or keep the baby when it's born.
There's not much else that really happened this week. Martin's mate from work, a fellow nurse called Karl ingratiates himself with Katie and makes her miss a class at college when he calls round for biscuits and tea. Martin's wondering what's going on with Katie and his (younger) colleague but there's nowt for him to worry about - it's Todd he'll be after, just you wait and see.
Dev gets 4 free tickets from a rep to see Badly Drawn Boy (I preferred him in the early days, when he was Scribble). The tickets fly from Dev to Todd to Sarah who invites Katie and Martin along to the gig for a funky foursome at some arena or t'other.
Fred's gone to Umbria, I say, he's gone on 'ollider to Italy leaving Ashley and Claire alone in the house. Thing is, Claire feels guilty having nothing to do as baby Josh is at his grandparents so she signs up for some agency work leaving Ashley on his own and Fred's plan in pieces.
Despite Gail offering them her sofa, Nick and Maria need some privacy and decide to get a flat together - presumably kitted out with flat-packed furniture to match Nick's flat personality. Mind you, Gail's face fell flat with the realisation that she'd be on her own again if Nick does move out.
And finally this week, one of the brewery draymen tells Shelley that his mate Eric's got a crush on her and gives her the nickname Sunshine Shelley. Although the thought of going on a date with Eric doesn't fill our Shell with glee, she's got nothing to lose and let's face it, nowt else to do. There's a real treat in store as Peter Kay joins the Corrie cast later this week as Eric the drayman. For those who've never heard of Peter Kay, have a look at http://www.peterkay.co.uk. And for those who have heard of him but haven't yet seen his Live at the Bolton Albert Halls performance, do yourself a favour and rush out and buy it now.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Fiz 's fellas are in frenzy as Tyrone and Kirk fight over her in the garage where there's fisticuffs by a clapped out big end. With both of them pledging their troth and asking for Fiz's hand in marriage she's torn and can't make a decision. Tyrone overhears Fiz say she wants to be swept off her feet by a knight on a white charger. He hires the horse, it gallops past the factory as Fiz is coming out of work and he falls off, ending up with his arm in a sling for his trouble. Anyway, Fiz asks them both to make a list of their top 3 Fiz fun facts - things they like best about her. Tyrone plumps for 1) Eyes, 2) Sense of humour and 3) Something that he whispers in her ear that puts a knowing smile on her face. Kirk's a bit more subtle and tells Fiz it's her 1) Past - because it's made her what she is, 2) Present - because she brightens his day and 3) Future - because he wants it to be with him. In all this tension between Tyrone and Kirk, Jack tells Tyrone to remember Kirk's his best mate: "If Kirk were a female, there'd be no need for Fiz." Jack says. Later in the Rovers Tyrone buys a reluctant Kirk a pint as animosity starts to thaw between them. Until, that is, Karen tells Fiz it's no good having blokes wrapped around her little finger, it's the finger next to it on her left hand that an engagement ring should be wrapped around - and then it's war all over again. Tyrone's first off the block and down on his knees in Fiz's flat. "It's not real," he says, "It's diamonday". (*Not to be confused with darrenday who also turns up regularly at cheap and tacky engagements). Anyway, not too surprisingly, Fiz turns him down and tells him to keep the ring for when he meets someone special. "I already have." says a saddened Tyrone.
Karen's plans for her wedding steam ahead as she hires an 'arpist - to play Wonderwall. She's off to gawk at some wedding fayre (£18 entry fee, free confetti, frocks that make your bum look enormous, satin shoes and chimney sweeps). Steve doesn't want to go with her and they argue, of course, then he ends up helping Tracy move furniture into No. 7. And then it got rather dull. Tracy tells Steve she loves him and adores him and wants him to be daddy to the babby but Steve tells Tracy he wants nowt to do with her. And this kind of went on all week with Tracy threatening to tell Karen the truth about the baby. She doesn't, but she plans to ruin Karen's wedding one way or t'other. She calls the wedding venue pretending to be Karen and tells the wedding coordinator the whole thing's been called off.
Meanwhile Roy and Hayley anticipate arrival of the baby and decorate the spare room as a nursery, throwing out their old jigsaws to make room in the flat. Roy picks up a cheap old fashioned pram, the sort that comes complete with its own Norland Nanny. Hayley points out how ridiculous it is while Harry marvels at its good old-fashioned British engineering. Anyway, it's replaced soon after with a more modern version as Roy frets endlessly on whether Tracy will sell or keep the baby when it's born.
There's not much else that really happened this week. Martin's mate from work, a fellow nurse called Karl ingratiates himself with Katie and makes her miss a class at college when he calls round for biscuits and tea. Martin's wondering what's going on with Katie and his (younger) colleague but there's nowt for him to worry about - it's Todd he'll be after, just you wait and see.
Dev gets 4 free tickets from a rep to see Badly Drawn Boy (I preferred him in the early days, when he was Scribble). The tickets fly from Dev to Todd to Sarah who invites Katie and Martin along to the gig for a funky foursome at some arena or t'other.
Fred's gone to Umbria, I say, he's gone on 'ollider to Italy leaving Ashley and Claire alone in the house. Thing is, Claire feels guilty having nothing to do as baby Josh is at his grandparents so she signs up for some agency work leaving Ashley on his own and Fred's plan in pieces.
Despite Gail offering them her sofa, Nick and Maria need some privacy and decide to get a flat together - presumably kitted out with flat-packed furniture to match Nick's flat personality. Mind you, Gail's face fell flat with the realisation that she'd be on her own again if Nick does move out.
And finally this week, one of the brewery draymen tells Shelley that his mate Eric's got a crush on her and gives her the nickname Sunshine Shelley. Although the thought of going on a date with Eric doesn't fill our Shell with glee, she's got nothing to lose and let's face it, nowt else to do. There's a real treat in store as Peter Kay joins the Corrie cast later this week as Eric the drayman. For those who've never heard of Peter Kay, have a look at http://www.peterkay.co.uk. And for those who have heard of him but haven't yet seen his Live at the Bolton Albert Halls performance, do yourself a favour and rush out and buy it now.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
By Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.
