Greetings and welcome to another weekly update and
many thanks for your support after I moaned last week about how difficult
it can be each week when faced with a blank screen, ink pot and quill.
We've had six episodes of Corrie this week, that's two too many for this
viewer, I mean life's too short to watch that much telly, it's not right.
Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation
Street update.
Sally bought some cheap butter but the butter Sally bought left a bitter taste in Kevin's mouth when she told him she was making cutbacks on household spending so there was more left to spend on their Rosie. It's the day of the audition at the academy and Sally and Kev accompany Rosie who's hidden behind 3 inches of caked on foundation, blue eye gloss and a demented smile. Sally's in her element and best suit, scarf nonchalantly thrown around her neck as she eyes up the academy and spies a future for her daughter. Just as they're about to go inside, Rosie tells Sally she doesn't want to it, she's never wanted to do it, it's been Sally's plan for herself all along. "You're so unhappy because you hate your life!" Rosie yells at her mum. Sally, Queen of the Street Slap (remember that one she landed on Natalie years ago?), slaps Rosie round the chops for her honesty. Rosie's then dumped by Craig for Lisa the love biter at School and she and Sally have a chat and a cry at home later and the air is somewhat cleared between them. However, Sally's obvious unhappiness with her situation in life vents itself later at Kevin before he rushes out to pick up their other daughter, young wotsherface and some fish and chips.
Fred throws himself into his work to forget what ails his lovesick heart only to find Penny and Mike drinking in the Rovers and reminding him all over again. On the golf course with Mike who's trying to make amends with his friend, Fred bumps into Dennis Stokes from the Chamber of Trade. Dennis is accompanied by his new, young, lovely lady wife Lilly, a Thai bride from t'internet. Fred ponders on this, I say, he wonders what to do. Could love be just a click away for him on www.pliablewomenboughtforcashbysadfatoldmen.com?
Cilla lies to Les and tells him she's going to a mate's for a fewdays but Chesney overhears his mum planning to spend the time with 'Uncle' Ronnie Dudgen, a bad lot if ever there was one. Fiz is determined to show Les what Cilla's up to and camera in hand, tries to snap photos of drunken Cilla with Ronnie as they stumble back to his house after a night in the pub. Before Fiz can focus, Cilla spots her daughter and tells her to stop interfering in her business. Chesney's too scared to say anything in case he's put into care so it's left to Fiz to break the news to Les when Cilla returns. Les knows there's only one person he can believe and that's little Chesney so he's heartbroken when Ches says it's all true. Consoled by cheap lager, Les cries into his pint and throws Cilla out. Off she goes in a taxi, leaving Chesney stranded on the cobbles with Schmeichel in his arms. (I know... I gave in and looked up the correct spelling on Google). Rita finds Chesney at the bus stop waiting for a bus to London where he's going to find a job and takes him and Schmeichel in for the night, letting Fiz know that he's ok.
Ashley's invited to tea with Claire's mum, Mrs Casey. It's all very bay window and rather tense, the woman clearly doesn't approve of Claire's relationship with Ashley and says her daughter's being used as "emotional Elastoplast" to cover Ashley's hurt at losing Maxine. Anyway, turns out Mrs C. is a widow herself and is somewhat over protective of young Claire and not entirely pleasant towards Ashley. Ashley knows he loves and wants to be with Claire and asks her to move in wi'him. When Mrs C. catches wind of this, she's straight round there for an inspection of premises and as you'd imagine, it falls short, well short, of her expectations. Claire knows she has to break free from her mother but isn't yet ready to move in with Ashley. The perfect compromise appears in the shape of the spare room in the flat above the salon and Claire agrees to move in with Candice and Fiz.
And finally this week, Candice's boyfriend Tim returns from his ski-ing trip and nips round to the flat for a quickie with the hairdresser. After looking forward to his return for ages, Candice was hoping for a present, a bit of conversation and a cup of tea with Tim but he clearly had other plans and walks out of the flat when Candice complains. Maria tells Candice that Tim was only after a booty call and they have to explain the expression to Audrey in the Rovers. "Ooh, they've got a name for it now?" she says.
Karen's also got a (red) booty call on her mind when she casts her eye over a pair of spiked heel red leather boots she can't afford and Steve says she can't have. Needless to say, she buys them of course and in the scene of the week walks them into the cab office for Steve to see them in all their expense and glory.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Sally bought some cheap butter but the butter Sally bought left a bitter taste in Kevin's mouth when she told him she was making cutbacks on household spending so there was more left to spend on their Rosie. It's the day of the audition at the academy and Sally and Kev accompany Rosie who's hidden behind 3 inches of caked on foundation, blue eye gloss and a demented smile. Sally's in her element and best suit, scarf nonchalantly thrown around her neck as she eyes up the academy and spies a future for her daughter. Just as they're about to go inside, Rosie tells Sally she doesn't want to it, she's never wanted to do it, it's been Sally's plan for herself all along. "You're so unhappy because you hate your life!" Rosie yells at her mum. Sally, Queen of the Street Slap (remember that one she landed on Natalie years ago?), slaps Rosie round the chops for her honesty. Rosie's then dumped by Craig for Lisa the love biter at School and she and Sally have a chat and a cry at home later and the air is somewhat cleared between them. However, Sally's obvious unhappiness with her situation in life vents itself later at Kevin before he rushes out to pick up their other daughter, young wotsherface and some fish and chips.
Fred throws himself into his work to forget what ails his lovesick heart only to find Penny and Mike drinking in the Rovers and reminding him all over again. On the golf course with Mike who's trying to make amends with his friend, Fred bumps into Dennis Stokes from the Chamber of Trade. Dennis is accompanied by his new, young, lovely lady wife Lilly, a Thai bride from t'internet. Fred ponders on this, I say, he wonders what to do. Could love be just a click away for him on www.pliablewomenboughtforcashbysadfatoldmen.com?
Cilla lies to Les and tells him she's going to a mate's for a fewdays but Chesney overhears his mum planning to spend the time with 'Uncle' Ronnie Dudgen, a bad lot if ever there was one. Fiz is determined to show Les what Cilla's up to and camera in hand, tries to snap photos of drunken Cilla with Ronnie as they stumble back to his house after a night in the pub. Before Fiz can focus, Cilla spots her daughter and tells her to stop interfering in her business. Chesney's too scared to say anything in case he's put into care so it's left to Fiz to break the news to Les when Cilla returns. Les knows there's only one person he can believe and that's little Chesney so he's heartbroken when Ches says it's all true. Consoled by cheap lager, Les cries into his pint and throws Cilla out. Off she goes in a taxi, leaving Chesney stranded on the cobbles with Schmeichel in his arms. (I know... I gave in and looked up the correct spelling on Google). Rita finds Chesney at the bus stop waiting for a bus to London where he's going to find a job and takes him and Schmeichel in for the night, letting Fiz know that he's ok.
Ashley's invited to tea with Claire's mum, Mrs Casey. It's all very bay window and rather tense, the woman clearly doesn't approve of Claire's relationship with Ashley and says her daughter's being used as "emotional Elastoplast" to cover Ashley's hurt at losing Maxine. Anyway, turns out Mrs C. is a widow herself and is somewhat over protective of young Claire and not entirely pleasant towards Ashley. Ashley knows he loves and wants to be with Claire and asks her to move in wi'him. When Mrs C. catches wind of this, she's straight round there for an inspection of premises and as you'd imagine, it falls short, well short, of her expectations. Claire knows she has to break free from her mother but isn't yet ready to move in with Ashley. The perfect compromise appears in the shape of the spare room in the flat above the salon and Claire agrees to move in with Candice and Fiz.
And finally this week, Candice's boyfriend Tim returns from his ski-ing trip and nips round to the flat for a quickie with the hairdresser. After looking forward to his return for ages, Candice was hoping for a present, a bit of conversation and a cup of tea with Tim but he clearly had other plans and walks out of the flat when Candice complains. Maria tells Candice that Tim was only after a booty call and they have to explain the expression to Audrey in the Rovers. "Ooh, they've got a name for it now?" she says.
Karen's also got a (red) booty call on her mind when she casts her eye over a pair of spiked heel red leather boots she can't afford and Steve says she can't have. Needless to say, she buys them of course and in the scene of the week walks them into the cab office for Steve to see them in all their expense and glory.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
May 10, 2004
Here we go again with another weekly update full of
wishful thinking with a cherry on the top and a cream slice on the
side. And one of them pineapple melbas; and try not to squash the box while
you're at it. And so, without any further ado, let's get
on with the confection that is the Coronation Street weekly update
Fred decides to find love on th'internet and search for a Thai bride. He looks for a suitable photo to post on the website and realising it's best to be honest, he discards the old picture of the handsome, dark haired stunner he used to be (honestly) and gives his mate Dennis a recent picture of the fat, jowled butcher he's become. Dennis says he'll post the photo to the website with Fred's personality profile: "Generous, wealthy, kind." and list of interests: "Pursuit of the perfect sausage". Dennis assures Fred that the love of a Thai lady is very close at hand. Unfortunately for Fred, it's closer than he thinks. Dennis takes the photo to am exotic looking lippy market trader and the two of them have a giggle over yet another punter they're going to rip the wallet away from and the heart out of. Meanwhile, Fred takes to jogging, salads and mineral water in an attempt to shape up his broad band.
Rita and Les have a chat about Chesney and Les starts to realise he could do worse than look after the kid. In a wonderful scene, Les gets a call from Steve at Streetcabs who tells him there's a young man wanting a ride to that London. When Les gets to the cab office he finds Chesney there with some coins in his hand and the ever-growing-huge-puppy Schmeichel on his lap, wondering if he's got enough money to get them both to the smoke. Les puts Chesney in the cab and drives him to his house. "But this isn't London!" says Chesney. "No, but it's your home." says Les. Realising he's on to a good thing, Chesney wastes no time in dobbing off school, buying lollies for Schmeichel and playing Les, Fiz and Kirk off against each other by getting dinner money and pocket money from as many of them as possible as often as he can. With Cilla out of the way, Les turns his attentions to Janice and the two of them celebrate their decree absolute with drinks and some chips. Although Les hopefully wore his snakeskin pulling jacket on their 'date', Janice is keeping him at arm's length, for now.
Mike gets Underworld up and running again after paying Charlie the builder cash in hand to get the work finished ahead of schedule. The girls are back at work but Mike fails to secure an order he was banking on when exaggerated, wrong rumours of his bankruptcy spread around the rag trade. Harry gets the girls to sign their names in a card so he can trace any graffiti in the freshly painted ladies toilet back to the perpetrator. Janice's handwriting looks suspiciously familiar to Harry: "So it was you who wrote the limerick about the Bishop of Wick!"
It's Maria's 21st birthday and there's a party in the flat. Candice hovers by the door waiting for her Tim to turn up, which he eventually does, to an earful from Audrey about the way he's treating young Candice. There's karaoke in the corner and the Duckies duet after Vera tracks Jack at the party when he should have been home for tea. Nick takes Maria outside and gives her an engagement ring as a birthday present, which was nice.
And finally this week, is it on or is it off? Is he in or is he out? And do we really care any more? Katy susses out that Karl and Todd are an item so Karl tells Todd it's all off. Then Todd and Karl end up in bed together in the flat just as Sarah starts to walk up the stairs. Then it all turned a bit Brian Rix, with a semi-naked man and lots of doors.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
May 17, 2004
Here we are again with another weekly update slightly
later than usual this week but there's been things to do, people to see,
football to watch, cakes to eat. And so, without any further ado here
we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
A drunken Janice and a desperate Les get merry on cheap vodka as they toast to friendship on the sofa in Les' front room. Cheap vodka, as anyone who's ever drunk it will know, can cause all sorts of problems and in this case leads Janice and Les by the hand up the stairs and to bed. Next morning Jan's regretting her night of passion and tries to slip away quietly without being seen. Too late. Kirkeh spies her and spreads the word to Fiz and the girls. Les thinks he's on to a good thing and hopes that the two of them can get back together while Janice just wants to forget it ever happened.
Sally's spent so much time and energy coaching their Rosie into stardom she's hardly noticed her other daughter go through face-altering plastic surgery just to get some attention. Yes, there's a new Sophie on the street and Sally spies swimming skills in her offspring. The school needs volunteers to help out at the pool and Sophie's distraught to hear Sally's offered to help and coach her young daughter. At Rosie's parents evening at School, Sally and Kev discover Rosie does have talent after all * in chewing gum, being lazy and strangely, being good at maths. It all adds up to a glint in Sally's eye as she calculates a career as a professional mathematician for her filial first born.
The Todd and Karl saga rumbles along. Katy knows everything, Sarah knows nothing. What will Katy do next?
At the salon flat Claire's being taken for granted. Her cooking and cleaning skills outweigh those of Fiz and Candice and little Chesney does his best to persuade Claire he hasn't eaten for days when he's just had dinner with Les. But Claire's not such a soft touch as her flatmates think and after she finds Fiz and Kirk have been sleeping in her room, she throws a wobbly. Claire moves all the rubbish in the flat into Fiz and Candice's rooms. Trying to bring a bit of order to the flat, she draws up a rota of chores and makes Fiz and Candice pull their weight around the place. If they don't, she threatens to move out, leaving Fiz and Candice to pay extra rent that they can't afford.
She's more Bolton than Bangkok but Fred stumps up for the urr-furr and she miraculously appears at the airport the day after Dennis posts Fred's picture on the net. Oh, what a web of deceit this is. Dennis drives Orchid Pattiya, for that is what Dennis has named her, to the airport and she mingles with the crowds coming in from the Thailand flight. Fred loses his heart to Orchid, mysterious flower of the East and the blokes in the Rovers drool when they meet her. Betty's not best pleased to see Fred make a fool of himself over "Thailand Tilly" and Audrey and Mike do their best to give him some advice. But it's no good, he won't listen, even if he is 30 years older than she. Ashley and Claire are stuck for words when they meet her, they can't believe what Fred's gone and done this time. Orchid says she can't stay at the Rovers, it would be improper, so she's staying with the cousin of an uncle's daughter or something, which means in reality, she's going to stay in her own home while she and Dennis fleece Fred for all that he's worth, I say, for every penny.
Candice witters on about how wonderful boyfriend Tim is but Fiz and Maria know he's not all he seems. When Candice and Tim are in her bedroom, probably reading Harry Potter or something, Maria goes through Tim's jacket pockets and finds a gold wedding ring. Audrey confronts Tim in the Rovers and he spins a line about it belonging to his brother - it's only Candice that believes him. Audrey warns the girls that she was just like Candice at her age, wanting to believe everything every man ever told her. "I've got our Gail to prove it." she says wistfully.
Shelley gets a date with Charlie but he rings to cancel when some last minute building work comes in. Bev takes the call and Betty overhears but Bev doesn't pass on the message to her daughter. So, Shelley gets dolled up, trussed up and waits, and waits, and waits in the Rovers for Charlie to appear. When he strolls in 3 hours later she gives him a piece of her mind and won't believe he left a message with her mother. It's left to Betty to tell Shelley the truth but warns her not to be too harsh on her mum. Harsh? I'd give the old jealous cow a slap, I really would.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
A drunken Janice and a desperate Les get merry on cheap vodka as they toast to friendship on the sofa in Les' front room. Cheap vodka, as anyone who's ever drunk it will know, can cause all sorts of problems and in this case leads Janice and Les by the hand up the stairs and to bed. Next morning Jan's regretting her night of passion and tries to slip away quietly without being seen. Too late. Kirkeh spies her and spreads the word to Fiz and the girls. Les thinks he's on to a good thing and hopes that the two of them can get back together while Janice just wants to forget it ever happened.
Sally's spent so much time and energy coaching their Rosie into stardom she's hardly noticed her other daughter go through face-altering plastic surgery just to get some attention. Yes, there's a new Sophie on the street and Sally spies swimming skills in her offspring. The school needs volunteers to help out at the pool and Sophie's distraught to hear Sally's offered to help and coach her young daughter. At Rosie's parents evening at School, Sally and Kev discover Rosie does have talent after all * in chewing gum, being lazy and strangely, being good at maths. It all adds up to a glint in Sally's eye as she calculates a career as a professional mathematician for her filial first born.
The Todd and Karl saga rumbles along. Katy knows everything, Sarah knows nothing. What will Katy do next?
At the salon flat Claire's being taken for granted. Her cooking and cleaning skills outweigh those of Fiz and Candice and little Chesney does his best to persuade Claire he hasn't eaten for days when he's just had dinner with Les. But Claire's not such a soft touch as her flatmates think and after she finds Fiz and Kirk have been sleeping in her room, she throws a wobbly. Claire moves all the rubbish in the flat into Fiz and Candice's rooms. Trying to bring a bit of order to the flat, she draws up a rota of chores and makes Fiz and Candice pull their weight around the place. If they don't, she threatens to move out, leaving Fiz and Candice to pay extra rent that they can't afford.
She's more Bolton than Bangkok but Fred stumps up for the urr-furr and she miraculously appears at the airport the day after Dennis posts Fred's picture on the net. Oh, what a web of deceit this is. Dennis drives Orchid Pattiya, for that is what Dennis has named her, to the airport and she mingles with the crowds coming in from the Thailand flight. Fred loses his heart to Orchid, mysterious flower of the East and the blokes in the Rovers drool when they meet her. Betty's not best pleased to see Fred make a fool of himself over "Thailand Tilly" and Audrey and Mike do their best to give him some advice. But it's no good, he won't listen, even if he is 30 years older than she. Ashley and Claire are stuck for words when they meet her, they can't believe what Fred's gone and done this time. Orchid says she can't stay at the Rovers, it would be improper, so she's staying with the cousin of an uncle's daughter or something, which means in reality, she's going to stay in her own home while she and Dennis fleece Fred for all that he's worth, I say, for every penny.
Candice witters on about how wonderful boyfriend Tim is but Fiz and Maria know he's not all he seems. When Candice and Tim are in her bedroom, probably reading Harry Potter or something, Maria goes through Tim's jacket pockets and finds a gold wedding ring. Audrey confronts Tim in the Rovers and he spins a line about it belonging to his brother - it's only Candice that believes him. Audrey warns the girls that she was just like Candice at her age, wanting to believe everything every man ever told her. "I've got our Gail to prove it." she says wistfully.
Shelley gets a date with Charlie but he rings to cancel when some last minute building work comes in. Bev takes the call and Betty overhears but Bev doesn't pass on the message to her daughter. So, Shelley gets dolled up, trussed up and waits, and waits, and waits in the Rovers for Charlie to appear. When he strolls in 3 hours later she gives him a piece of her mind and won't believe he left a message with her mother. It's left to Betty to tell Shelley the truth but warns her not to be too harsh on her mum. Harsh? I'd give the old jealous cow a slap, I really would.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
May 24, 2004
Here I am again with another weekly wotsit. It's late
this week as I'm having a few days holiday - routine was the first thing to
go and the last thing on my mind. But here I am finally so without any
further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Candice dumps the shampoo smoothy after his wife bursts into the salon yelling: "Which one of you's the slut that's trying to seduce my 'usband?". Audrey and Maria resist the temptation to say they told her so, even though they did, and take Candice to the Rovers for a drink and an hurdresser's hug. When Tim pops back to the salon to explain to Candice, she dribbles Tropical Sunrise shampoo all over his head.
Shelly goes on her date with Charlie the builder, he wines and dines her and then offers her his bed while he sleeps on the couch. Meanwhile Bev makes on that she's met a fella of her own and says she's out on a date wi'him so it teks a bit of explaining when Ken and Deirdre say they saw her coming out of the cinema, alone.
Fred's distraught to hear Orchid upset when she gets a call at the Rovers from a relative in Thailand calling to say her father's taken ill. The phone call's a scam, it's Dennis sitting in his car outside the pub telling Orchid it's time to up the stakes with Fred and get money out of him. As Orchid rushes off, Fred wonders what it'll take to make her stay in Weatherfield and not rush back to th'East to tend her poorly dad. Dennis comes up with a plan, suggests to Fred he pays the nursing fees so Orchid's dad is well cared for and she won't have to leave. Fred writes out a cheque for five grand despite Ashley pleading with him not to be so daft. Anyway, Ashley gets more suspicious about this Orchid lass when she's invited to dinner at th'Elliot's only to clam up when asked any questions about Thailand. Fred's not best pleased and asks Ashley to show some respect to his future mother-in-law who has agreed to marry the great bit lummox. Later in the pub Harry overhears Dennis and thinks there's summat funny going on so he jumps in his car and follows Dennis to the market. He spies Orchid (aka Stacey from Levershulme) selling cheap pants and socks and rushes back to tell Ashley. Telling Fred that Orchid wants to see him at the market to discuss material for the bridesmaids' frocks, Ashley leads Fred to Stacy's stall and the truth sinks in at last. Dennis is with Stacy and Fred blasts the pair of them: "Common tart! Filthy pimp! I want these two deadlegs incarcerated!"
Because of the football, we had three episodes of Corrie in one night, much of it taken up with the Todd and Sarah storyline, an emotional wrangle that had me in tears and as a Corrie fan first and the Corrie weekly update writer second, I didn't write much, just watched as they acted their hearts out as Todd told Sarah he was gay. You just have to watch this, I don't have the words to explain it as well as it was done. As the truth hits Sarah she and Todd are in bits, confused and angry. Sarah packs and moves back in with a gobsmacked Gail while Todd trundles across the road to an understanding Eileen. When Gail found out that Eileen knew all along, she's over there in her dressing gown banging on her door and shouting the odds. A crowd, as is usual on such an occasion, gathers in the street with Norris taking front row as Eileen and Gail battle it out on the cobbles. This was fantastic. Loads of insults, loads of home-truths, loads of dirty washing being well and truly washed in public. When Jason finds Todd in the middle of the fracas he can't handle his brother being gay and snubs him. Best bit by far was Nick being belted round the chops by Jason when he sees Nick having a go at Todd. Todd thanks Jason but in reply he says: "If I hadn't hit him, I would have hit you - and I wouldn't have known when to stop, you dirty queer".
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Candice dumps the shampoo smoothy after his wife bursts into the salon yelling: "Which one of you's the slut that's trying to seduce my 'usband?". Audrey and Maria resist the temptation to say they told her so, even though they did, and take Candice to the Rovers for a drink and an hurdresser's hug. When Tim pops back to the salon to explain to Candice, she dribbles Tropical Sunrise shampoo all over his head.
Shelly goes on her date with Charlie the builder, he wines and dines her and then offers her his bed while he sleeps on the couch. Meanwhile Bev makes on that she's met a fella of her own and says she's out on a date wi'him so it teks a bit of explaining when Ken and Deirdre say they saw her coming out of the cinema, alone.
Fred's distraught to hear Orchid upset when she gets a call at the Rovers from a relative in Thailand calling to say her father's taken ill. The phone call's a scam, it's Dennis sitting in his car outside the pub telling Orchid it's time to up the stakes with Fred and get money out of him. As Orchid rushes off, Fred wonders what it'll take to make her stay in Weatherfield and not rush back to th'East to tend her poorly dad. Dennis comes up with a plan, suggests to Fred he pays the nursing fees so Orchid's dad is well cared for and she won't have to leave. Fred writes out a cheque for five grand despite Ashley pleading with him not to be so daft. Anyway, Ashley gets more suspicious about this Orchid lass when she's invited to dinner at th'Elliot's only to clam up when asked any questions about Thailand. Fred's not best pleased and asks Ashley to show some respect to his future mother-in-law who has agreed to marry the great bit lummox. Later in the pub Harry overhears Dennis and thinks there's summat funny going on so he jumps in his car and follows Dennis to the market. He spies Orchid (aka Stacey from Levershulme) selling cheap pants and socks and rushes back to tell Ashley. Telling Fred that Orchid wants to see him at the market to discuss material for the bridesmaids' frocks, Ashley leads Fred to Stacy's stall and the truth sinks in at last. Dennis is with Stacy and Fred blasts the pair of them: "Common tart! Filthy pimp! I want these two deadlegs incarcerated!"
Because of the football, we had three episodes of Corrie in one night, much of it taken up with the Todd and Sarah storyline, an emotional wrangle that had me in tears and as a Corrie fan first and the Corrie weekly update writer second, I didn't write much, just watched as they acted their hearts out as Todd told Sarah he was gay. You just have to watch this, I don't have the words to explain it as well as it was done. As the truth hits Sarah she and Todd are in bits, confused and angry. Sarah packs and moves back in with a gobsmacked Gail while Todd trundles across the road to an understanding Eileen. When Gail found out that Eileen knew all along, she's over there in her dressing gown banging on her door and shouting the odds. A crowd, as is usual on such an occasion, gathers in the street with Norris taking front row as Eileen and Gail battle it out on the cobbles. This was fantastic. Loads of insults, loads of home-truths, loads of dirty washing being well and truly washed in public. When Jason finds Todd in the middle of the fracas he can't handle his brother being gay and snubs him. Best bit by far was Nick being belted round the chops by Jason when he sees Nick having a go at Todd. Todd thanks Jason but in reply he says: "If I hadn't hit him, I would have hit you - and I wouldn't have known when to stop, you dirty queer".
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
May 31, 2004
Here we go again with another weekly update, the only
thing better than a Pineapple Mivvi on a hot summer's day. What
do we want? One episode of Corrie! When do we want it? Monday, Wednesday,
Friday and Sunday! Not seven episodes a week, no, stop! And so,
without any further urdo here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Fred blames Mike for setting him up with Dennis and Orchid but it's not Mike's fault and anyway, Mike's got more on his mind when his nephew Danny turns up. Mike's given him a 50% stake in Underworld. Did Mike get the Under and Danny get the World? Danny's played by Bradley Walsh, and I waited ages for him to use his catchphrase: "It's only a puppet!" but apparantly that belongs to someone else - with a similar face, similar hair and a similar career in light entertainment. I know nowt about Bradley Walsh but he's right good at being Danny, well he made me smile anyway. Not five minutes in the factory and he's got Hayley giggling and pretending she's his secretary. Sonia gets her custard creams out for him. "Where's me tea, Ahm garrspin'!" and he gets the measure of the girls especially Janice - "Who's the gobby one?" and Karen - "..and the bolshie one?". He's from that London, a ducker and diver, a bit of a geezer who's Porsche gets towed away when it turns out it still belongs to his last boss. He gets into a fight with Les and they both get black eyes. Then when the alarm goes off in the factory Tommy rushes in and tackles Danny to the ground. Another black eye and one for Tommy too. Buying the drinks in the Rovers for the girls after he turns Underworld into a sweatshop and has them working through their dinner with a pie and a cake, Danny's overjoyed to see Mike walk in the pub. With his arms round Les and Tommy and black eyes on the three of 'em, Danny tells his uncle: "Meet me two new best mates!". Oh yeah, and, framed by Tunnock's teacakes on the top shelf of the corner shop, Danny's already set his sights on Sunita.
Gail and Martin help Sarah pack her things at the flat and she moves back in with Gail. More tears. Todd's confused but Jason manages to stop being so homophobic towards him, although he's still got a long way to go. David sprays graffiti on Eileen's door and it's all a bit of a mess, the door and the situation. Sarah collapses in pain in the cafe and is taken to t'hospital where she's having a miscarriage as I type. Todd's beside himself with anger when he turns up at t'hospital and Gail lays the blame squarely on his head. Like a fedora of guilt, or maybe a beret of blame. Audrey's beside herself with emotion and you know she's having a bit of a moment when her Audrey accent wobbles and slips into Lady Sue mode, which she did in the Oasis cafe when she spies Todd with Karl. Meanwhile, Katy tells Martin she'd known all along about Todd being gay. Martin - a waste of space if ever there was one, I mean, isn't he? Anyway, he finishes with Katy and she goes home to her parents who are overjoyed to have her back but overdo the tea and bacon sandwich (aka sympathy) somewhat.
The social worker comes to see Les about Chesney as the lad's been bunking off school. It's because of the puppy that Chesney's been missing school so Shmeicel goes to live with Kirkeh at the kennels before the Dane became too Great and filled every camera angle. Fiz is beside herself with worry, she can't let Chesney go into care and between her and Les they decide to looka fter Chesney proper. Just as well then, as the social worker says Chesney can stay where he is as long as he's in school every day. Well not every day, it's half-term this week and Les forgets all about it, sending Chesney off in his uniform when most other kids were at the flicks watching Harry Potter and kicking the seat of the person in front of them, and throwing sweet wrappers around and shuffling across the row of seats 16 times to go to the toilet through the film.
Steve's got a buyer for Eileen's house. It's the perfect solution to pay off the wedding debts but all Karen can think is the best way to spend when the cheque arrives. With Eileen an emotional wreck at the minute what with her Todd being gay, her Jason being thick and her grandson little 9 weeks premature Billy Grimshaw's life in the balance, Steve tells Karen to keep schtum about the house sale.
Tracy's trolled off to Portsmouth with the baby to visit Peter. I don't know why I'm telling you this, there was no real story involved, but she's gone.
And that's just about that for this week. 7 episodes a week doth not a longer update make.
Glenda
By Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.
Fred blames Mike for setting him up with Dennis and Orchid but it's not Mike's fault and anyway, Mike's got more on his mind when his nephew Danny turns up. Mike's given him a 50% stake in Underworld. Did Mike get the Under and Danny get the World? Danny's played by Bradley Walsh, and I waited ages for him to use his catchphrase: "It's only a puppet!" but apparantly that belongs to someone else - with a similar face, similar hair and a similar career in light entertainment. I know nowt about Bradley Walsh but he's right good at being Danny, well he made me smile anyway. Not five minutes in the factory and he's got Hayley giggling and pretending she's his secretary. Sonia gets her custard creams out for him. "Where's me tea, Ahm garrspin'!" and he gets the measure of the girls especially Janice - "Who's the gobby one?" and Karen - "..and the bolshie one?". He's from that London, a ducker and diver, a bit of a geezer who's Porsche gets towed away when it turns out it still belongs to his last boss. He gets into a fight with Les and they both get black eyes. Then when the alarm goes off in the factory Tommy rushes in and tackles Danny to the ground. Another black eye and one for Tommy too. Buying the drinks in the Rovers for the girls after he turns Underworld into a sweatshop and has them working through their dinner with a pie and a cake, Danny's overjoyed to see Mike walk in the pub. With his arms round Les and Tommy and black eyes on the three of 'em, Danny tells his uncle: "Meet me two new best mates!". Oh yeah, and, framed by Tunnock's teacakes on the top shelf of the corner shop, Danny's already set his sights on Sunita.
Gail and Martin help Sarah pack her things at the flat and she moves back in with Gail. More tears. Todd's confused but Jason manages to stop being so homophobic towards him, although he's still got a long way to go. David sprays graffiti on Eileen's door and it's all a bit of a mess, the door and the situation. Sarah collapses in pain in the cafe and is taken to t'hospital where she's having a miscarriage as I type. Todd's beside himself with anger when he turns up at t'hospital and Gail lays the blame squarely on his head. Like a fedora of guilt, or maybe a beret of blame. Audrey's beside herself with emotion and you know she's having a bit of a moment when her Audrey accent wobbles and slips into Lady Sue mode, which she did in the Oasis cafe when she spies Todd with Karl. Meanwhile, Katy tells Martin she'd known all along about Todd being gay. Martin - a waste of space if ever there was one, I mean, isn't he? Anyway, he finishes with Katy and she goes home to her parents who are overjoyed to have her back but overdo the tea and bacon sandwich (aka sympathy) somewhat.
The social worker comes to see Les about Chesney as the lad's been bunking off school. It's because of the puppy that Chesney's been missing school so Shmeicel goes to live with Kirkeh at the kennels before the Dane became too Great and filled every camera angle. Fiz is beside herself with worry, she can't let Chesney go into care and between her and Les they decide to looka fter Chesney proper. Just as well then, as the social worker says Chesney can stay where he is as long as he's in school every day. Well not every day, it's half-term this week and Les forgets all about it, sending Chesney off in his uniform when most other kids were at the flicks watching Harry Potter and kicking the seat of the person in front of them, and throwing sweet wrappers around and shuffling across the row of seats 16 times to go to the toilet through the film.
Steve's got a buyer for Eileen's house. It's the perfect solution to pay off the wedding debts but all Karen can think is the best way to spend when the cheque arrives. With Eileen an emotional wreck at the minute what with her Todd being gay, her Jason being thick and her grandson little 9 weeks premature Billy Grimshaw's life in the balance, Steve tells Karen to keep schtum about the house sale.
Tracy's trolled off to Portsmouth with the baby to visit Peter. I don't know why I'm telling you this, there was no real story involved, but she's gone.
And that's just about that for this week. 7 episodes a week doth not a longer update make.
Glenda
By Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.
