Hola et bonjour to anuzzer weekly update.  It's too hot for any ado, further or otherwise, so let's crack on with this week's Coronation Street update.

The Platt's go through the wringer again when Sarah's newborn baby boy dies.  Gail turns vicious and throws Todd out when he turns up to register the death and Martin kicks the living daylights out of Karl on the hospital floor.  Not knowing the bad news, Katy gives Martin a birthday card with a jokey "Happy Birthday Grandad" message on the front. He doesn't get the joke and she doesn't get her boyfriend back.  On the day of the funeral Sarah can't face burying the baby. Hayley has a word with her in the café, stumbling to put things into perspective with a clumsy tale of how Princess Diana's death affected Hayley in the same way as losing baby Billy is affecting Sarah right now.  Whatever, it does the trick.  Todd's at the graveside hiding behind a wall until it becomes too much to bear and he has to help bury his son. Audrey takes a wailing Sarah away as the Platt's walk off to leave the Grimshaw's to pay their respects.

With Tracy in Portsmouth being put up by Peter, Blanche rents her room out to Danny boy who's looking for lodging. "Will you come up and do a free haunting?" he mutters to his new landlady.  "You what?" says Blanche.  "I said moving up 'ere, it's been a bit daunting," he replies. More than ready for a second date with Sunita after successful market research: "Do you wear knickers?", on his first date with her,  Danny sets the scene at Blanche's  for a quiet night in only for Tracy to return and put a spanner in the works. Then Danny's wife Frankie turns up, turns out he's married with kids and while she's stood by him after he stumbled his way through women during their marriage, when she had an affair with his best mate Vinny, he did a runner up north to get away from it all.  With her Atkins diet and shiny hair, Frankie's a world away from the the factory girls and 200 miles from home yet Danny persuades her to stay.

Sally's full of ideas for expanding the garage for Kev to rake in more cash so they can send Rosie to public school.  Although he objects, Kev lets Sally have her way and she prints up leaflets and new signage for Websters' Auto Centre, where much is made of the apostrophe. Tommy and Tyrone aren't best pleased with the changes going on, especially the 24 hour callout service Sally's planned but their grumbles don't faze her, nothing can stop her.

Maya arranges a health check for herself and Dev and you know when anyone arranges a health check in a soap, it can only mean one thing. A slow and painful death - it's just a shame it'll be the wrong character that suffers.

Janice chokes on her chips when Les asks her to move back in after she spends the afternoon looking after Chesney for him.  Les does the heimlich maneouvre and probably saved her life but that doesn't stop Janice legging it out of his front room as quick as you like.  Later, Les is in a dodgy backstreet pub to celebrate Patrick's birthday. The waitresses are dressed as belly dancers and Les, Steve and Patrick ogle away. One of the waitresses doesn't take kindly to Patrick pushing a fiver down her bra, there's a bit of a fracas (I love that word) and the lads and the waitress are thrown out on the street. In one of those soapy coincidence moments, the waitress says to Les: "Dad?".  "Leanne!" cries Les with joy as he drags her back to Weatherfield with him.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

Haway and here we go with another weekly update.  Apologies if there's overlap and confusion with the football and Big Brother which, along with llama training (intermediate stage 2) and yodelling courses, have taken up much of my time this week and still none of the llamas can yodel correctly. Never forget that high on a hill there is a lonely goat herd. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Leanne's back on the street and having woken up on Les' sofa to find Kirkeh and Chesneh staring at her, she's quick to move in with Janice who's keen to put her up.  Most folk are happy to have her back on the cobbles but the smile's wiped from her face when she spies Nick with Maria.  Janice tells Leanne that Maria was the one who did the dirty on Toyah so Leanne plans revenge. She follows Maria to the salon and asks for a haircut. As Maria gets Leanne's locks tied up in a tangle with the tongs, she bitches about Nick's ex-wife; what a cow this, what a common tart that, little realising who Leanne is, or was.  Later in the Rovers when Nick and Maria walk in there's a set to and a punch up as Leanne gets to grips with Maria and throws a pint over Nick's head.

Shelley fixes her face for a night out with Charlie but changes plans when Sunita asks her to the opening of a new restaurant. Charlie's not best pleased as tonight was the night they were going to, you know, do it.  Still, he strops to the Rovers expecting Shelley to be waiting for him and instead of being disappointed that she's not there he takes up Bev's offer of a drink after hours and a quick shag upstairs. Well, there's no romantic way to put it is there? They're hardly love's young dream, he was desperate for it and she was just desperate.   Bev's angry with Shelley when her daughter tells her she still wants to out with the fella so Bev tells her the truth, or her version of it anyway, of how Charlie dragged her up the stairs for a night of passion, lust and a little bit of yodelling, when all he really did was come and go. Oh Shelley with the yellow hair, how truly thick you are. She won't believe her mother, decides Charlie's the man for her and throws her mother out of t'pub. Bev leaves in a taxi with tears in her eyes as Shelley (crying) and Charlie (smirking) stand outside of the Rovers. 

Norris thinks there's ghostly goings on in the back room of the Kabin but Rita thinks he's having a funny turn.  Over a game of doms in the Rovers with Blanche, Emily and Rita, Norris finds out the Kabin was built on the site of the old Mission where Vera Lomax died from a brain tumour and the ghost of Ena Sharples haunts bitter drinkers worldwide.  I always find gin makes me bitter but bitter makes me better.  Norris convinces himself he's paranormally sensitive but Rita thinks he's paranoid.  Then when a box falls from a shelf and the kettle sparks at the socket  for no reason, Rita is forced to pull her cardi a little tighter across her chest and allows herself a shiver.

Eileen finds out the hard way that her home is up for sale. A surveyor from the new landlord, Beaumont Estates, comes round to measure up and she wants to know why.  She confronts Steve and berates him for not telling her that he's sold the ground from beneath her feet and the roof from over her head. She reminds him, as well she might, that it was she who took him in when Karen kicked him out and she thought their friendship meant more to him than selling her off to a new landlord as a sitting tenant.

After giving Karl a kicking, Martin's been suspended from work. With time on his hands he goes to Wales for a few days on a fishing holiday and takes David with him.

Elsewhere this week, Vera buys Jack an exercise bike, Betty's veins played her up and Dev dropped a box on his toe.  Tunnocks were much in evidence with caramel wafers, teacakes (both dark and plain chocolate) lined up together on a shelf in the corner shop. Develop your passion at www.tunnocks.co.uk

And that's just about that for this week.  

Glenda

Greetings and welcome to another weekly update, with apologies that it's a bit late this week so without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
 
Betty warns Shelley that: "a pretty face and good pub don't attract the right sort of fella" when she finds Charlie in the back room of the Rovers with a drink in his hand and a smile on his face.  Fred's not best pleased either: "It's a rum do when I find the likes of Charlie Stubbs lodging in me parlour," he moans then jaunts off to Brighton on a jolly with the brewery.  Before he leaves he tells Shelley she needs to find another barmaid to replace Bev and she installs Leanne behind the pumps but she's booted out when Fred returns with a barmaid on his arm.  Yes, it's Liz McDonald back on the street wearing a jumper that screamed Dirty Slapper.  She's back behind the bar, bitching with daughter-in-law Karen and also with Shelley who she's not only working for but also living with when Fred installs her in the Rovers in Bev's old room.  Oh dearie me!  (And that reminds me I saw Shona McSpurtle last weekend in my local branch of Woolworth's).

Dev breaks down in tears and tells Sunita he has to have more tests as the doc thinks he may have cancer of the bowel.  Sunita's surprised he hasn't told Maya and tells him he must let her know. When Maya finally finds out that he told Sunita first she does a runner and leaves him but crawls back to fling her arms around Dev, as he listens to the wonderful new Morrissey album, and hisses through her teeth at Sunita. 

Roy and Tracy are now divorced, married no more, with a decree that proves it absolutely.  The Croppers celebrate in the café with Frankie Vaughan and a candle-lit dinner.

Norris arranges a séance in the back room of the Kabin, determined to get to the bottom of the ghostly goings on.  Around the table with Norris are Rita, Blanche and Betty.  "Knock once to signify your presence" he says and in reply another box falls off a shelf above his head.  Blanche falls about laughing and thanks Rita for setting Norris up but the ladies all shiver when Rita says she had nowt to do with it.  Anyway, it turns out there isn't a ghost - it's  rising damp in the Kabin that's causing all the problems and Rita gets Charlie in to sort out the mess.

Vera buys Jack an exercise bike and orange lycra shorts to get him back into shape and lose weight. As an incentive, she puts a map on the wall and encourages Jack to cycle 200 miles to Cleethorpes.  Every time Jack makes progress, a picture of a man on a bike moves across the map on the living room wall.  Thinking he should nearly be there by now, Jack's upset to discover he's only done 20 miles so asks Tyrone to clock the mileage on the bike for him. Tyrone says no way, it's a digital odometer or whatever they use to track mileage on bikes, so Jack pays the lad a fiver to cycle for him instead.

Sally hands out badges in the garage: "I'm Kevin, I'll be your mechanic today, how may I help you? Do you want extra fries with your big end tune up?" and the lads aren't best pleased.  That is, until Tyrone's awarded employee of the month in Sally's new incentive scheme, given a hat with a star on it and a fifty quid bonus which he takes to the pub to buy beer.   Kev tries to stop Sally from interfering but when she tells him turnover has increased by 20% since she started running the place, he allows himself a smile.

Dressed up as a belly dancer in full make up, Les gets down on one knee in the factory and asks Janice to take him back.  Not surprisingly she says no, but after encouragement from the girls singing that song from that film where the blokey comes in and sweeps the wifey off her feet from the factory floor, Janice chases after Les and says she'll have him back even though he's no officer and certainly no gentleman.  Back at Les' house as he and Janice start to plan their future together, Cilla returns to make things exceedingly unpleasant.

And finally this week Audrey gets a letter from the council to say a monument to Alfeh will be built in the quadrangle behind the investiture room. "What's an investiture room?" asks Candice,   "What's a quadrangle?" asks Shelley, as the pensioners in the Rovers moan about their council tax increase.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda

I've noticed I'm doodling while I watch Corrie these days. In the update notebook this week there's a man with a dahlia where his belly button should be and a barcode on his left hand.  There's a bunch of flowers with roots stretching into the earth's crust, various stars of different sizes and a checked box surrounded by circles.  I don't suppose any of this means anything other than I'm finding Corrie predictable these days and it's not holding my attention in the way that it can when it tries, if it wants to.  Well anyway, without any further ado here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Chesney's the only one glad Cilla's back as she huffs and she puffs and she tries to blow the house down, refusing to budge from Les' house. Even though Les tells Cilla he hates her and wants nowt to do wi'her, she still doesn't get the message and tries to get back into his life and his home. While she's sleeping in the chair, Les, Janice, Kirk and Leanne creep into the house and lift Cilla and the chair out onto the street, but still she doesn't get it.  She goes to stay with a mate and tells Chesney if he wants his mam back he has to help her get Janice out. Meanwhile she puts her own plan into action when she spies Janice and Leanne shopping in Freshco. She tells the security guard she's seen Janice shoplifting and when Janice and Leanne are stopped by the guards, there's a kerfuffle. Leanne bites and kicks the security guard and can't understand why they've been collared.  When Janice finds out that Cilla set them up, she tells her it's woah. Or it could have been war. Whatever it was, it ain't gonna be pretty as the two of them square up to each other as they fight over, er, Les. Wake up and smell the cheap lager, ladehs.

It's Steve's 30th birthday and there's a card "To Daddy" from baby Amy, via Tracy.  Steve puts it in the bin but Karen takes it out, rips it to bits and then puts it back in.  Karen puts posters of Steve as a baby around the Streetcars office and plans champagne and oysters for his birthday dinner.  What she doesn't know is that Steve's been waylaid in the Rovers with free drinks from his mates and his mother.  When Karen finds him drunk and enjoying himself while she's slaved making dinner and been hit in the face by a flying oyster shell, she's not best pleased and her relationship with Liz deteriorates further.

Leanne helps Rita in the Kabin while Norris is away.  Sally gives Rita leaflets advertising the garage to distribute with the Weatherfield Gazette but she forgets to put them in so offers David Platt a tenner to stick them through people's doors.  David dumps most of the leaflets and they end up littering the street so Sal's on the warpath with Rita, Kevin, no one in particular and everyone in general.  Sally and Kev have a rare night out with wine and pizza as the girls are staying with friends and Kev thinks he's on promise. When they get back home the phone rings and he's let down as Sally sends him on a call out for a break down.

The Alf Roberts Memorial Foundation causes much consternation among the pensioners and council tax payers when they find out it'll cost forty five grand and will only be on view to council officials.  Audrey can't see what the fuss is about but the war committee - Emily, Rita, Blanche and Betty - disagree.   

Sunita's in bits in the newly decorated back room at the Rovers when she tells Shelley she thinks that she's pregnant.  Shelley buys her a test kit, Liz walks in and hears what's going on, she tells Frankie at the bar who tells husband Danny, who could be the father of Sunita's unborn if the test proves as positive and fast acting as the gossip.  At the factory Frankie takes a dislike to Karen when Janice lets slip about Karen and the previous boss Joe Carter. Frankie threatens Karen with hairnets for the lot of them in the name of health and safety, if she's not careful.  And in the cafe Frankie and Vera have a set to when she asks for a latte, which Vera's never heard of and the cafe doesn't sell.  "We serve two types of coffee in here," Vera tells her.  "A mug, or a cup".

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda