Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This
week the update nices up your inbox with a big smile and a new pair of
shoes. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's
Coronation Street update.
After being concussed by the bus, Schmeichel recovers and is sent home with a bandage on his leg and one of those huge, daft collars on his head. Chesney comes out in sympathy and wears an old lampshade round his neck so the dog doesn't feel silly all on its on. Claire's beside herself with guilt over hitting the dog, gives up her dream-job and swears she'll never drive again. She coughs up the cash for the vet's bill to Cilla who tells her the bill is £1,102 when it's only £850. Ashley's not best pleased Claire's giving their money away when the bus company would be insured for this sort of thing, but Claire's gone and done it now and there's the first sign of friction at the Peacock's.
There's more friction for the Duckies in their caravan at Formby. Vera's idea of a holiday includes bracing walks, pub lunches and a bit of rumpy pumpy but Jack's reluctant to join in, especially the latter. A fed-up Vera makes Jack choose where his loyalty lies, is it with his pigeons or the wife? When he packs to leave and heads back to Weatherfield, Vera realises she'll always come second to the flying rats. Tyrone and Maria aren't too happy when Jack comes back into the house, especially as Maria's in the altogether in the kitchen. Vera follows home later and collars Jack in the Rovers, dragging him out by his ear. "It's not what it looks like… " yells Jack to everyone watching: "It's her idea of foreplay!" Tyrone has a quiet word with Jack and asks him to return to the caravan so that he and Maria can spend time alone as a prelude to moving in together in the future. For Tyrone's sake only, Jack heads back to Formby with Vera and a very heavy heart.
There's even more friction this week at the Rovers. Still locked away in the room at the top, Shelley's bruises fade from black to yellow via a bit of mottled blue and gnarly green. The barstaff are curious and concerned about her wellbeing but Charlie does all he can to keep Fred and Ciaran out of her room. When Deirdre finds out that Shelley hasn't been seen in days she's straight on the phone to Bev who storms into the Rovers, quivering but determined. She barges straight up the stairs and into Shelley's room, aching to say "I told you so" and she does, many times. "I walked
into a door" screams Shelley before marching her mother down the stairs, yelling at her to get out. Ciaran restrains Charlie while all this is going on until Bev and Charlie play tug-of-war with Shelley and Bev's thrown out of the pub. With Shelley's bruises now on public show and the subject of much idle gossip, everyone assumes that Charlie's beaten her up. He tells Shelley he's had enough, packs his bags and leaves while she whimpers and cries and begs him not to go.
There's happier news for Liz when she goes on a date with Bob, an old teaching mate of Ken's. When they part the next morning on her doorstep he's keen to keep news of the date quiet, especially from Steve. So when Steve pops his head around the corner and sees Liz kissing a stranger in her nighty, he reminds his mother that she's still a married woman and that he Does Not Approve.
But there's even happier news for the Alahan's when Sunita breaks the news to Dev (in the back room of the shop with Tunnocks Snowballs behind them – http://www.tunnocks.co.uk/snowball.htm) that they are now with child have a bun in the oven.
Speaking of which, Diggory the baker offers Sally a job in the bread shop and she happily accepts until he gets all creepy, puts him arm around her and asks if she'd be willing to work evenings creaming his buns. Sally walks out of the baker shop and into the corner shop where her retail skills are snapped up by Dev who tells her that Sunita will be reducing her hours although he doesn't tell her why as they want to keep the baby news quiet for now. At home Sally serves up beans for the girls, and defends her new job in the corner shop after the dizzy heights of working in a car salesroom. Young Sophie tells her mum she doesn't have to go to work to earn money to send her to posh Oakhill school as she refuses to go anyway. The kid's a star.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
After being concussed by the bus, Schmeichel recovers and is sent home with a bandage on his leg and one of those huge, daft collars on his head. Chesney comes out in sympathy and wears an old lampshade round his neck so the dog doesn't feel silly all on its on. Claire's beside herself with guilt over hitting the dog, gives up her dream-job and swears she'll never drive again. She coughs up the cash for the vet's bill to Cilla who tells her the bill is £1,102 when it's only £850. Ashley's not best pleased Claire's giving their money away when the bus company would be insured for this sort of thing, but Claire's gone and done it now and there's the first sign of friction at the Peacock's.
There's more friction for the Duckies in their caravan at Formby. Vera's idea of a holiday includes bracing walks, pub lunches and a bit of rumpy pumpy but Jack's reluctant to join in, especially the latter. A fed-up Vera makes Jack choose where his loyalty lies, is it with his pigeons or the wife? When he packs to leave and heads back to Weatherfield, Vera realises she'll always come second to the flying rats. Tyrone and Maria aren't too happy when Jack comes back into the house, especially as Maria's in the altogether in the kitchen. Vera follows home later and collars Jack in the Rovers, dragging him out by his ear. "It's not what it looks like… " yells Jack to everyone watching: "It's her idea of foreplay!" Tyrone has a quiet word with Jack and asks him to return to the caravan so that he and Maria can spend time alone as a prelude to moving in together in the future. For Tyrone's sake only, Jack heads back to Formby with Vera and a very heavy heart.
There's even more friction this week at the Rovers. Still locked away in the room at the top, Shelley's bruises fade from black to yellow via a bit of mottled blue and gnarly green. The barstaff are curious and concerned about her wellbeing but Charlie does all he can to keep Fred and Ciaran out of her room. When Deirdre finds out that Shelley hasn't been seen in days she's straight on the phone to Bev who storms into the Rovers, quivering but determined. She barges straight up the stairs and into Shelley's room, aching to say "I told you so" and she does, many times. "I walked
into a door" screams Shelley before marching her mother down the stairs, yelling at her to get out. Ciaran restrains Charlie while all this is going on until Bev and Charlie play tug-of-war with Shelley and Bev's thrown out of the pub. With Shelley's bruises now on public show and the subject of much idle gossip, everyone assumes that Charlie's beaten her up. He tells Shelley he's had enough, packs his bags and leaves while she whimpers and cries and begs him not to go.
There's happier news for Liz when she goes on a date with Bob, an old teaching mate of Ken's. When they part the next morning on her doorstep he's keen to keep news of the date quiet, especially from Steve. So when Steve pops his head around the corner and sees Liz kissing a stranger in her nighty, he reminds his mother that she's still a married woman and that he Does Not Approve.
But there's even happier news for the Alahan's when Sunita breaks the news to Dev (in the back room of the shop with Tunnocks Snowballs behind them – http://www.tunnocks.co.uk/snowball.htm) that they are now with child have a bun in the oven.
Speaking of which, Diggory the baker offers Sally a job in the bread shop and she happily accepts until he gets all creepy, puts him arm around her and asks if she'd be willing to work evenings creaming his buns. Sally walks out of the baker shop and into the corner shop where her retail skills are snapped up by Dev who tells her that Sunita will be reducing her hours although he doesn't tell her why as they want to keep the baby news quiet for now. At home Sally serves up beans for the girls, and defends her new job in the corner shop after the dizzy heights of working in a car salesroom. Young Sophie tells her mum she doesn't have to go to work to earn money to send her to posh Oakhill school as she refuses to go anyway. The kid's a star.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
June 13, 2005
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update, dropping
onto the doormat of your inbox delivered by the postman of your dreams.
Mine would be Magnum PI, wearing shorts. But anyway, without any further
ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Cilla asks her mate Yana to be maid of honour when she marries Les later this year. Off they go to celebrate at The Clock although Yana's fella, Big H, is stuck on the M6 and has to miss out. Not realising that they've ordered £70 bottles of wine, Cilla, Les and Yana knock the booze back like cheap lager, heckling the staff and annoying fellow diners. But the burning question this week is whether Big H is related to Big Alice of Streetcars. Has anyone ever seen them both in the same place at the same time? Or at all? I think we should be told.
With Shelley's bruises fading, Bev reports Charlie to the police for beating up her daughter. The police can't do anything unless Shelley reports him herself so Bev's stumped as to what to do next. After spitting and fighting with Charlie in the street, she exacts her revenge when she moves onto the cobbles and installs herself behind the bar of the Weatherfield Arms. When Shelley tries to get back downstairs to work: "I'm doing it for Charlie", she panics on the stairs but when she rings Charlie he turns off his phone. She's in a right state, stuck in her pyjamas and can't even manage to put her make-up on straight. She blames her mother's presence for messing up her head while Charlie plays her like a fiddle and the tune don't sound good.
Liz's fella Bob returns for a second date with the glamourous granny. Is he a glutton for punishment or a glutton for mutton? Steve's not best pleased his mother's dating other men but Liz is happy to go wine-tasting with Bob where she can volatise her esters, swirl and spit.
Tracy tells Steve she wants to move into his flat and live as a proper family with him and Amy. "See, you need me!" she cries as she displays the gleaming kitchen she's spent ages scrubbing - although you would have thought the last thing Steve needed was another scrubber. When Louise the Irish girl turns up in the Rovers, telling Steve she was passing, he realises his feelings for Tracy are iffy and that he still has feelings for Louise. He
confides in Liz that he doesn't want Tracy to move into the flat and that he's made a mistake in getting together with her at all. Meanwhile Tracy bullies Blanche into getting rid of the Baldwins from her house at number seven so she can move in there with Steve and the baby. But, against his will and better judgement and through gritted teeth, Steve agrees to move in. Firstly, because her inner gargoyle scares the bejesus out of him and secondly, because he doesn't want to lose Amy. Needless to say, Liz is gob-smacked by the news while the Baldwins check the small print of their tenancy agreement.
After starting work at the corner shop last week, Sunita sacks Sally when she finds out that Dev has cut her working hours now she's in the
pudding club. "Sorry, Sally" says Sunita, alliteratively speaking. Sally ends up working at Underworld as Danny needs a new machinist although Sally thinks she's there as assistant deputy manager and that working on the machines is her step up to glory, a biro and in-tray. Things go wrong on her first day when Sally refuses to follow new girl routine and says she won't make the coffee. Kelly gets revenge on the new stuck-up machinist by putting perfume in her afternoon tea and telling her it's Lapsang Souchong (weren't they a band in the 80s?).
There's war at the Websters when Rosie decides to turn vegetarian. Sally takes it personally and does a great turn as James Mason from `Spring and Port Wine' - when Rosie refuses to eat her lamb chop for dinner, control freak Sally serves it up for breakfast.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Cilla asks her mate Yana to be maid of honour when she marries Les later this year. Off they go to celebrate at The Clock although Yana's fella, Big H, is stuck on the M6 and has to miss out. Not realising that they've ordered £70 bottles of wine, Cilla, Les and Yana knock the booze back like cheap lager, heckling the staff and annoying fellow diners. But the burning question this week is whether Big H is related to Big Alice of Streetcars. Has anyone ever seen them both in the same place at the same time? Or at all? I think we should be told.
With Shelley's bruises fading, Bev reports Charlie to the police for beating up her daughter. The police can't do anything unless Shelley reports him herself so Bev's stumped as to what to do next. After spitting and fighting with Charlie in the street, she exacts her revenge when she moves onto the cobbles and installs herself behind the bar of the Weatherfield Arms. When Shelley tries to get back downstairs to work: "I'm doing it for Charlie", she panics on the stairs but when she rings Charlie he turns off his phone. She's in a right state, stuck in her pyjamas and can't even manage to put her make-up on straight. She blames her mother's presence for messing up her head while Charlie plays her like a fiddle and the tune don't sound good.
Liz's fella Bob returns for a second date with the glamourous granny. Is he a glutton for punishment or a glutton for mutton? Steve's not best pleased his mother's dating other men but Liz is happy to go wine-tasting with Bob where she can volatise her esters, swirl and spit.
Tracy tells Steve she wants to move into his flat and live as a proper family with him and Amy. "See, you need me!" she cries as she displays the gleaming kitchen she's spent ages scrubbing - although you would have thought the last thing Steve needed was another scrubber. When Louise the Irish girl turns up in the Rovers, telling Steve she was passing, he realises his feelings for Tracy are iffy and that he still has feelings for Louise. He
confides in Liz that he doesn't want Tracy to move into the flat and that he's made a mistake in getting together with her at all. Meanwhile Tracy bullies Blanche into getting rid of the Baldwins from her house at number seven so she can move in there with Steve and the baby. But, against his will and better judgement and through gritted teeth, Steve agrees to move in. Firstly, because her inner gargoyle scares the bejesus out of him and secondly, because he doesn't want to lose Amy. Needless to say, Liz is gob-smacked by the news while the Baldwins check the small print of their tenancy agreement.
After starting work at the corner shop last week, Sunita sacks Sally when she finds out that Dev has cut her working hours now she's in the
pudding club. "Sorry, Sally" says Sunita, alliteratively speaking. Sally ends up working at Underworld as Danny needs a new machinist although Sally thinks she's there as assistant deputy manager and that working on the machines is her step up to glory, a biro and in-tray. Things go wrong on her first day when Sally refuses to follow new girl routine and says she won't make the coffee. Kelly gets revenge on the new stuck-up machinist by putting perfume in her afternoon tea and telling her it's Lapsang Souchong (weren't they a band in the 80s?).
There's war at the Websters when Rosie decides to turn vegetarian. Sally takes it personally and does a great turn as James Mason from `Spring and Port Wine' - when Rosie refuses to eat her lamb chop for dinner, control freak Sally serves it up for breakfast.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
June 20, 2005
Greetings and welcome to another
weekly update. This week the update is as mad as a bag of frogs, as
daft as a brush, as hackneyed as an old ham and as clichéd as they
come. Nothing new there then. And so without any further ado, here we go
with this week's Coronation Street update.
Roy receives news that his grand-dad has died. He frets about the family funeral, particularly meeting up with his dad whom he never got on with, but his worries come to nought when Roy and Hayley are the only ones there to say their goodbyes. Grandfather Cropper leaves a gift for Roy in his will, it's plans for some sort of machine designed to use the energy expended by people coming into and going out of, well, doors. Roy's grandfather's plans, hopes and dreams of invention are passed on to Roy who takes up the challenge of the contraption, starting right there in the caff. Yes, it is as odd as it sounds.
Sally swallows her pride along with her beans and heads back to Underworld, determined not to let the factory girls wear her down. Danny's gone out leaving instructions with Janice that she's to tell Adam he's in charge, just as soon as he arrives. When Sally walks in, Janice tells Sally she's the boss and Sally installs herself at the office desk tapping ten to the dozen at the computer with a mad glint in her eye. When Adam and Danny return,
she's given short shrift (I love that phrase), thrown out of the office and back to her machine. Mind you, Danny's got more to worry about than Sally after he spends the night with Leanne in Mike's empty flat, with its empty bed. As Jamie takes Adam on a boys night in town, Leanne and Danny get jiggy in Mike's bedroom. Next morning Leanne finds out she's left an ear-ring there and it's up to Danny to return to retrieve the missing item. Adam's at the flat and finds Danny snooping so Danny gives him some old bull about having to find a customer file. He lies and says he's called Mike in Spain who told him the file was in the flat, so he came up the apples and pears sharpish, bish-bosh, luv-a-duck my son, ain't that the Babe Ruth? Nope, it blinking well ain't.
Blanche puts her hip out, and does her hip in after shaking it all about line-dancing at the one o'clock club with Billy the Kid. I know, don't ask, he's 83 you know and still has his own pants. Lena's there with her and they rush to hospital where the news is not good, Blanche needs a hip replacement because of osteoarthritis. She wants to go private and have it done quickly. Ken and Deirdre tell her to wait and get it done on the ennhaytchess but at her age, she says, she can't afford to wait. But she can afford to pay, especially if she sells number seven instead of
renting it to Tracy. After much grumbling and negotiation, it's agreed that Tracy will buy number seven at a discount, for her, Steve and Amy to move in and play happy families - although Steve's still not keen. Yes, he wants his name on Amy's birth certificate and yes, he wants Tracy to sign him up on a parental responsibility form. But when Tracy suggests marriage, Steve's eyes roll and his head shakes although he smiles through gritted
teeth, hoping he'll get legal responsibility for Amy before Tracy has him up the aisle in a new suit and tie. Blanche and Lena look on t'internet for details of hip replacement operations overseas, in the hopes of cutting a few bob off the price of the op. They hear Poland's quite good for that sort of thing so type in "Hips" and "Poles". And when the search engine throws its hands up in horror with a list of pole-dancing websites, they both gasp at the screen. "She doesn't look much like a surgeon!" says Blanche, "… and those hips look double-jointed to me."
Bev and Liz make it their mission to challenge Charlie at every turn and they sit in the Rovers sipping for hours trying to pressure him until he cracks. Charlie starts to break, only slightly, but it's enough for him to storm up the stairs and scream at Shelley to get back to work and bar Bev from the bar. After a spot of
hyperventilating in black sequins, she does what she's told and then runs back to her room before Charlie drags her out for dinner at The Clock. She's a mess, she can't speak, she can't breathe without whining and when Charlie takes a phone call and leaves her alone at the table, it's too much for her to take. Shelley runs out of the restaurant and into a taxi that takes her back to the Rovers. Bev's passing just in time to see Charlie shaking Shelley, then her daughter in tears and scuttling back up to the room at the top of the pub. Ciaran's also seen Charlie threatening Bev this week, and takes sides with Bev against him. When Shelley will see sense is anyone's guess.
And finally this week there are two new drivers at Streetcars when Claire's taken on at the firm and new driver Lloyd, played by Craig Charles, joins the cast. Lloyd manages to upset Dev before he starts working for him when he tells Sunita that Dev told him he's planned a whole family of sons. Sunita's disgusted with Dev and tells him any daughter they have will never be treated second-best by its parents, not like she was by hers.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Roy receives news that his grand-dad has died. He frets about the family funeral, particularly meeting up with his dad whom he never got on with, but his worries come to nought when Roy and Hayley are the only ones there to say their goodbyes. Grandfather Cropper leaves a gift for Roy in his will, it's plans for some sort of machine designed to use the energy expended by people coming into and going out of, well, doors. Roy's grandfather's plans, hopes and dreams of invention are passed on to Roy who takes up the challenge of the contraption, starting right there in the caff. Yes, it is as odd as it sounds.
Sally swallows her pride along with her beans and heads back to Underworld, determined not to let the factory girls wear her down. Danny's gone out leaving instructions with Janice that she's to tell Adam he's in charge, just as soon as he arrives. When Sally walks in, Janice tells Sally she's the boss and Sally installs herself at the office desk tapping ten to the dozen at the computer with a mad glint in her eye. When Adam and Danny return,
she's given short shrift (I love that phrase), thrown out of the office and back to her machine. Mind you, Danny's got more to worry about than Sally after he spends the night with Leanne in Mike's empty flat, with its empty bed. As Jamie takes Adam on a boys night in town, Leanne and Danny get jiggy in Mike's bedroom. Next morning Leanne finds out she's left an ear-ring there and it's up to Danny to return to retrieve the missing item. Adam's at the flat and finds Danny snooping so Danny gives him some old bull about having to find a customer file. He lies and says he's called Mike in Spain who told him the file was in the flat, so he came up the apples and pears sharpish, bish-bosh, luv-a-duck my son, ain't that the Babe Ruth? Nope, it blinking well ain't.
Blanche puts her hip out, and does her hip in after shaking it all about line-dancing at the one o'clock club with Billy the Kid. I know, don't ask, he's 83 you know and still has his own pants. Lena's there with her and they rush to hospital where the news is not good, Blanche needs a hip replacement because of osteoarthritis. She wants to go private and have it done quickly. Ken and Deirdre tell her to wait and get it done on the ennhaytchess but at her age, she says, she can't afford to wait. But she can afford to pay, especially if she sells number seven instead of
renting it to Tracy. After much grumbling and negotiation, it's agreed that Tracy will buy number seven at a discount, for her, Steve and Amy to move in and play happy families - although Steve's still not keen. Yes, he wants his name on Amy's birth certificate and yes, he wants Tracy to sign him up on a parental responsibility form. But when Tracy suggests marriage, Steve's eyes roll and his head shakes although he smiles through gritted
teeth, hoping he'll get legal responsibility for Amy before Tracy has him up the aisle in a new suit and tie. Blanche and Lena look on t'internet for details of hip replacement operations overseas, in the hopes of cutting a few bob off the price of the op. They hear Poland's quite good for that sort of thing so type in "Hips" and "Poles". And when the search engine throws its hands up in horror with a list of pole-dancing websites, they both gasp at the screen. "She doesn't look much like a surgeon!" says Blanche, "… and those hips look double-jointed to me."
Bev and Liz make it their mission to challenge Charlie at every turn and they sit in the Rovers sipping for hours trying to pressure him until he cracks. Charlie starts to break, only slightly, but it's enough for him to storm up the stairs and scream at Shelley to get back to work and bar Bev from the bar. After a spot of
hyperventilating in black sequins, she does what she's told and then runs back to her room before Charlie drags her out for dinner at The Clock. She's a mess, she can't speak, she can't breathe without whining and when Charlie takes a phone call and leaves her alone at the table, it's too much for her to take. Shelley runs out of the restaurant and into a taxi that takes her back to the Rovers. Bev's passing just in time to see Charlie shaking Shelley, then her daughter in tears and scuttling back up to the room at the top of the pub. Ciaran's also seen Charlie threatening Bev this week, and takes sides with Bev against him. When Shelley will see sense is anyone's guess.
And finally this week there are two new drivers at Streetcars when Claire's taken on at the firm and new driver Lloyd, played by Craig Charles, joins the cast. Lloyd manages to upset Dev before he starts working for him when he tells Sunita that Dev told him he's planned a whole family of sons. Sunita's disgusted with Dev and tells him any daughter they have will never be treated second-best by its parents, not like she was by hers.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
June 27, 2005
Here I go again with another of me wotsits, flying atcha through the interweb and crash landing on your computer in a mess of nouns and
verbs. This week the update looks particularly pleasant wearing one of them floral things and a sun hat, but no-one seems to have noticed. And so, without any further ado here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Have you ever wished your name was Beryl? No, me neither, but isn't it such a nice word? Someone else who's not called Beryl has flown off with her mother to Gdansk. I understand they build boats in Gdansk but it's not a sailing ship, it's an ailing hip that takes Blanche to Poland with Deirdre for comfort and support. Home alone Ken enjoys the peace and quiet with a good book and a quarter of lemon bon-bons tucked up his cardi sleeve.
Ah, but where is Tracy and Amy, I hear you ask. They've gone to stay with Peter, I reply. Tracy found out that Steve was using her to get legal responsibility for Amy and so refused to sign the form at the court, running out in tears. Steve sends Liz to the Barlow's to find out where Tracy's gone but it all ends in tears when Liz and Deidre fall out, which is probably not new to Liz as she looks like she's falling out of most everything she
wears. Mind you, if I had a chest like hers I'd enter it for a prize.
In the café, Roy makes a Meccano model of his granddad's contraption before following the plans and making it for real. The café ceiling is covered in fans, pulleys, levers and switches. "Eureka!" shouts Roy, as onlookers Hayley and Vera wonder, exactly, just what it is that it does.
Gail flips when she sees the mess that Sarah and Scooter are making in her house and when she feels likes she's being taken for granted she lashes out at Scooter in no uncertain terms. So how Scooter and ten boxes of comics end up moving in to the Platts is anyone's guess, I'm sure it would have made sense if I'd been paying attention, but it's been an odd week, and I wasn't.
It's Jamie's birthday and Frankie plans a big supper with Leanne and Candice invited. Jamie's real mum Carole is the birthday surprise when she turns up half-drunk and then drinks to fill the other half at the dinner table. Frankie's as gracious as she can be to the woman who's husband she nicked while she was supposed to be babysitting her son all them years ago but Carole, really dear, should have learned to let go by now. Carole loses it completely and after she ends up in tears, Frankie and Jamie drive Carole home. This leaves Danny and Leanne alone in the house for a
bit of rumpy-pumpy after Warren and Candice go to the pub.
And finally this week Sean buys a stuffed dead cat from Keith the taxidermist for £30 he found in his pocket which he borrowed from
Angela Harris before she went into prison. Could it be any more contrived? Anyway, I won't bore you with the details of this as one shouldn't poke fun at a dead cat on national television but this storyline will lead Sean to the local vet with his adorable Old English Sheepdog next week. You just might have to stop me from
stroking the telly, or indeed, taking it out for a walk.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Here I go again with another of me wotsits, flying atcha through the interweb and crash landing on your computer in a mess of nouns and
verbs. This week the update looks particularly pleasant wearing one of them floral things and a sun hat, but no-one seems to have noticed. And so, without any further ado here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Have you ever wished your name was Beryl? No, me neither, but isn't it such a nice word? Someone else who's not called Beryl has flown off with her mother to Gdansk. I understand they build boats in Gdansk but it's not a sailing ship, it's an ailing hip that takes Blanche to Poland with Deirdre for comfort and support. Home alone Ken enjoys the peace and quiet with a good book and a quarter of lemon bon-bons tucked up his cardi sleeve.
Ah, but where is Tracy and Amy, I hear you ask. They've gone to stay with Peter, I reply. Tracy found out that Steve was using her to get legal responsibility for Amy and so refused to sign the form at the court, running out in tears. Steve sends Liz to the Barlow's to find out where Tracy's gone but it all ends in tears when Liz and Deidre fall out, which is probably not new to Liz as she looks like she's falling out of most everything she
wears. Mind you, if I had a chest like hers I'd enter it for a prize.
In the café, Roy makes a Meccano model of his granddad's contraption before following the plans and making it for real. The café ceiling is covered in fans, pulleys, levers and switches. "Eureka!" shouts Roy, as onlookers Hayley and Vera wonder, exactly, just what it is that it does.
Gail flips when she sees the mess that Sarah and Scooter are making in her house and when she feels likes she's being taken for granted she lashes out at Scooter in no uncertain terms. So how Scooter and ten boxes of comics end up moving in to the Platts is anyone's guess, I'm sure it would have made sense if I'd been paying attention, but it's been an odd week, and I wasn't.
It's Jamie's birthday and Frankie plans a big supper with Leanne and Candice invited. Jamie's real mum Carole is the birthday surprise when she turns up half-drunk and then drinks to fill the other half at the dinner table. Frankie's as gracious as she can be to the woman who's husband she nicked while she was supposed to be babysitting her son all them years ago but Carole, really dear, should have learned to let go by now. Carole loses it completely and after she ends up in tears, Frankie and Jamie drive Carole home. This leaves Danny and Leanne alone in the house for a
bit of rumpy-pumpy after Warren and Candice go to the pub.
And finally this week Sean buys a stuffed dead cat from Keith the taxidermist for £30 he found in his pocket which he borrowed from
Angela Harris before she went into prison. Could it be any more contrived? Anyway, I won't bore you with the details of this as one shouldn't poke fun at a dead cat on national television but this storyline will lead Sean to the local vet with his adorable Old English Sheepdog next week. You just might have to stop me from
stroking the telly, or indeed, taking it out for a walk.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
By Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.
