Happy New Year! Welcome to the very first weekly update
of 2006. Many, many thanks to Richard for writing the update
last week, especially for fitting it in around the opening of presents,
eating turkey and stuffing. So now then, settle down with your
leftover chocolates, put your feet up and put the kettle on.
Without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street
update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have
a look at :
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Penny pops off to see her sick old mum leaving Mike at the mercy of
his failing faculties which devious Danny decides to exploit.
Danny finds an engagement ring which Mike forgot he'd bought for Penny
and he realises he's right at the bottom of Mike's priorities now.
Danny and Leanne concoct a plan of action to ensure Danny gets his
share of the Underworld fortune. Penny returns from her mum's to find
Mike more confused. In one of his more lucid moments he pops a ring
on her finger and pops the question. When she says no, he storms out
of the restaurant, drives around in his car and gets lost. He pops
into the Rovers (there was lots of popping this week) thinks that
Bev is Bet and he ends up packing Penny's bags and throwing her out
of the flat.
Leanne and Danny go for dinner at the Battersby-Browns and Cilla and
Les pull out all the stops. Les is there in his best frilly
shirt and there's no expense spared for the seasonal meal which includes
microwaved pop-tarts and all the sauces on the table – brown, red
and salad cream.
Jamie – a boy so sensitive that fabric conditioner brings him out
in a rash – foolishly thinks that Frankie fancies him. Worse still,
he thinks he's fallen in love with his step-mum after jealous Carol
stirs things between mother and step-son. Why they haven't thrown
that woman out yet, I just don't know. Jamie finally snaps and
says he's had enough of Carol and her poisonous mind so he packs his
bag and takes a taxi to the airport to go to visit brother Wa'rn
in Spain.
Artist Hilary asks Jack and Vera if she can paint them in the nuddy
at her life class where the students use a mixture of bodily fluids
in their artwork – excretions, secretions and vomit (sounds like
a firm of solicitors to me). Not surprisingly, Vera says no
but when Jack finds out there's a wad of money involved he has other
ideas. Hilary wants to capture the essence of the Duckies before
she starts to paint them and when Jack and Vera start arguing in
the Rovers she snaps away on her camera capturing all the angst and
anger that makes the pair of them exactly what they are.
Steve and Ronnie book a holiday to the Caribbean and when Tracy finds
out she tells Steve he can't go because she needs him to look after
Amy as she's decided to swan off to the sun with Charlie instead.
Steve, supported by Liz, Ronnie and a haggle of factory girls in
the background, storm round to see Tracy and he puts her straight
on the sun-tan situation. In the Rovers later Tracy comes in for stick
from the factory girls over how easily she was prepared to dump Amy
to get back at Steve. Charlie doesn't book the holiday and lets
Tracy know that her young daughter, adorable as she is, doesn't figure into
his life. This week, of course, the Street celebrated New Years Eve.
At the Barlows, Deirdre tempted Ken to a night in the Rovers: "Eat your
beans, we're going out". With no babysitter, Tracy left Amy home alone
upstairs in her cot while she went out to celebrate at Charlie's with cheap
champagne. In the Rovers, everyone was in daft hats and a party mood. Cilla
was there wearing pink fishnets (always good for catching crabs in) and there
was much kissing as Big Ben chimed midnight - although I don't know if Ben
enjoyed this or not.
After Sally and Kev return from a New Year knees-up at Rita's, Sally
goes across the road to wish daughter Rosie a Happy New Year. But
when she finds Craig answering the door in his dressing gown and Rosie upstairs
in his bed, well, she's not best pleased, oh dearie me, no. Weatherfield
got its own star-crossed lovers in the shape of Rosie and Craig after
Sally and Kev locked their daughter in her room when they found out she's
been sleeping with her boyfriend.
It's like Romeo and Juliet for the `Heat' generation - with Craig
standing under Rosie's bedroom window texting instead of all that
`where for art thou?' stuff. Sally's all at sea trying to cope with Rosie
and has a chat to Gail who knows a thing or two about such matters. Meanwhile
young Sophie feels left out at home and says that everyone's ignoring her
pleas to join the bra-tastic set at school.
Blanche goes to a funeral but returns dead downcast instead of full
of gory gossip. She was supposed to pick up her mate Lena on the way to
the funeral but when she got to the sheltered accommodation to meet her
mate, it turned out that Lena had gone to meet her maker.
Emily and Rita continued to get friendly with Ed the born-again Christian
while Norris feels left out. Ed made an impression on Eileen when
he bought her a bag of pork scratchings in the Rovers, clearly finding his
way to Mrs Grimshaw's soft spot.
Liz tells Bev that Vernon's off on a four week cruise to Casa-flamin'-Blanca
so she decides to go with him to keep his hands off the groupies all afloat
in the sea of middle-age desperation. Bev says she'll come on the cruise
too and even manages to talk Fred into doing a spot of sailing, I say, accompanying
them all.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
Jan 9, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. Is this the winter
of our discontent or am I still in a post-Christmas slump after eating
too much chocolate and cake? Still, mustn’t grumble. The tree and
the cards have gone to the recycling centre, the decorations have been taken
down and the daffodils are coming up in the garden. And so without
any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have
a look at :
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
In an effort to raise some much needed cash (without Vera knowing),
Jack bears all and strips nude for the all-girl students in Hilary’s life
painting class. Well, I call them ‘girls’ but they’re more ‘women
of a certain age’ really. After putting on her long distance specs, one
woman paints an abstract, expressionist sort of cubist kind of painting
in a modernist style and Jack’s confused when he sees it. When Hilary
tells him it’s symbolic, he replies: “Do you mean she painted me symbolic
naked?”.
Things continue to go wrong for Mike this week. After he threw
Penny out last week, he can’t remember what happened and wonders where
she’s gone. When Adam reminds him, Mike gives Penny’s engagement
ring to Danny as a bonus for securing a big pants order (size 18+).
Leanne lords it over the factory girls again after she splashes Danny’s
cash in the sales. Back at the flat, she shows Danny the cut price
corset she picked up shopping after he passes the sparkler on to her – with
instructions to wear it on any finger except the one that it was meant for.
And just where do people find cut price corsets in the sales these days anyway?
The best I could find this year was a couple of pillow cases and a new teapot.
Anyway, Danny causes more problems for Mike when he tells him that
Adam and Penny are having an affair. Mike’s confused enough without
someone putting poison in his shell-like but that’s exactly what Danny does.
Penny had returned to put things straight with Mike but after Danny stirs
things up Mike tells both Penny and Adam (calling them Linda and Mike) that
he doesn’t want to see either of them again. Or in the case of Penny,
that was again, again. Mike believes Danny’s his only ally and tells
him he’s written a letter to son Mark in which he makes amends and invites
him to return to Weatherfield. Danny offers to post the letter for him but
instead he crumples it up and throws it away. Adam’s had enough and leaves
the Street for Scotland, he’s had enough of Danny, his dad and the whole
sorry mess. Now then, I always think the way a character leaves the
Street says a lot about when – or if - they’ll ever return. Zooming off in
a sports car the way Adam did after an emotional farewell to Deirdre and
Ken could mean a definite maybe, perhaps.
Star-crossed young lovers Rosie and Craig snatch a few stolen words
through the Websters back bedroom window while Craig risks falling to sudden
death in the ginnel from a great height while sitting on the back yard wall.
It’s all so romantic, it really is. Young Sophie meanwhile is feeling
left out as the Websters turn their attention to wayward daughter Rosie.
Sophie wants to join the bra-tastic set at school (so when did smoking
behind the bike sheds go out of fashion?) Hayley recognises a lost
soul when she sees one and runs up a bra for Sophie on her sewing machine.
Yes, I know, that storyline was lovely in a bizarre sort of way.
Phil tries to shut up as Gail puts up with David being unbearably rude,
while over the road at the Grimshaw’s, Eileen throws out Sarah and Bethany
when she finds Jason playing happy families with the strumpet she blames
for ruining her other son’s life. Eileen argues with Jason about Sarah and
later sheds tears after an emotional phone call to Todd. She finally
pulls herself together, agrees to disagree with Jason and instead of interfering
in his love life she makes a New Year resolution to find a fella for herself.
Having decided to get on with Jason and Sarah, Eileen and Sean babysit
Bethany while Jason takes Sarah to the pub. When Gail finds out, she’s
not best pleased and tells Eileen she’s only weakened to gain cheap popularity
with her son. She’s wrong, but Gail could do well to heed her own
words after David continues to bicker with his mother. Phil tries to get
David to calm down and help out around the house but his words fall on stoney-deaf
teenage ears. Phil finally has enough of young David and when Gail nips
out to the chippy he loses it completely. He throws David up against
the living room wall and threatens him, all snarly like. When David
defends himself to Gail when she returns with the chips, she takes Phil’s
side instead of her son’s and ends up slapping David across the face when
he bad-mouths her fella again.
Blanche attends Lena’s funeral and, keeping the pledge she made to
Lena before she popped off this mortal coil, dresses in a scarlet suit
in a two-fingered salute to the Grim Reaper. After the funeral, the
Barlows hear the patter of tiny feet (is Tracy pregnant again already?)
when Lady Freckles enters their house - it’s Lena’s dog that she’s left
Blanche in her will. The dog’s name gets shortened to Eccles and it’s
a tiny, weeny, cute kind of dog, so small that Chesney’s dog Schmeicel could
wear it as an ear-ring. Tracy’s besotted and shows Eccles more affection
and attention that she’s ever bestowed on her own little daughter but the
pooch takes an instant dislike to Ken (so it’s not a Pe-Ken-ese then).
Kirk advises Ken on how best to handle Eccles and says he has to prove to
the dog that he’s leader of the pack and must show Eccles who’s boss.
It doesn’t go to plan when Eccles gets the best spot on the sofa and Ken’s
on the floor feeding chocolates to the pooch - and then gets bitten for his
efforts before the dog chews his wallet. Meanwhile, Deirdre and the
dog get on like old pals and she takes it with her for company on her fag
breaks in the backyard.
Fred and Bev get cabin fever as they work up to asking each other about
sleeping arrangements on this here upcoming cruise. Neither of them
can bear to hear that the other simply wants to be nothing more than good
friends, so in the end, nothing’s said. As Bev, Liz and Vernon set off for
the cruise, Fred decides to stay in the safe harbour of the Rovers instead
of rocking the boat of friendship by dipping his toe in the waters of lurve
with Bev.
The wonderful Amber returned to the Street again this week to give
dad Dev a bit of hassle in the shop. When he asks her why she isn’t
helping out her mum over in the Eccles shop she accuses him of being racist
and trying to stereotype her. More Amber please, she’s great.
Tyrone enters Maria in The Gazette’s ‘Surprise The Bride’ competition
while Maria shocks Tyrone with a tub of hot wax in the back of the salon.
“Take your clothes off and lie on the bed” Maria tells her fiancé
but Tyrone doesn’t get exactly what he was hoping for. Maria waxes
his back (ouch) then his chest (double ow) as her way of giving something
back to him after he spent a small fortune on her Chrimbo pressies.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
Jan 16, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update.
This week the update comes to you with an extra portion of fat chips and
good intentions to start its diet next week. I didn’t manage to see
all of the episodes this week so there will be gaps in the update – if you
spot one coming just close your eyes and jump over. And so, without any
further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have
a look at :
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
After Maria waxed Tryone’s back and chest last week in the salon, he’s
itching like mad. Cheer up Tyrone, it could be worse, she could have given
you one of those waxed back, crack and lack of hair around your sensitive
parts. When he complains, Nathan tells him he’ll get used to it and shows
off his own buffed and polished bodywork in the garage. Kev spots his
two hairless mechanics admiring each other’s smoothness and wonders what
the world’s coming to these days. I thought the same thing the other day
when I was in a pub and saw a young lad using lip-balm. It shouldn’t
have surprised me too much really, I was in a London pub full of soft southern
Jessies after all. Anyway, Tyrone finds out he’s through to stage two of
the Gazette’s Surprise The Bride competition (Goose the Groom?). When he tells
Maria, she’s not best pleased to find out she’s been entered to a crappy competition
in the local paper. Now there’s gratitude for you, eh?
Sunita goes into labour, hospital and a great deal of pain. Shelley’s
by her side as her chosen birth partner complete with sandwiches and hot
drinks in case of a long wait. In front of a fine display of Tunnocks
snowballs in the corner shop, Fred tells Dev that his wife has gone to
th’ospital although it was Sunita’s wish that Dev wouldn’t find out. Sunita
writhes in pain in the delivery room and won’t let Dev in when he turns
up but finally allows him in to see the birth of his son and his daughter
– Asha and Aadi. Three days later we see Sunita back at her flat,
washing, ironing, acting like she’s done nothing more than popped out for
a pint of milk instead of giving birth to twins. She tells her brother
Jayesh that she’s not coming home to live with her parents, she’s a single
mum and will look after her twins the way she thinks best. Jayesh tells
her she’ll end up like the rest of the ‘white trash’ on the cobbles and I
tell you - that’s brewed up a storm round these here parts in the papers.
Mike’s confusion continues when he gets a credit card bill and there’s
two engagement rings listed. He remembers buying one but not t’other and
when he speaks to Danny about it, his devious son works out how best to
take advantage of Mike’s muddle. Danny convinces Mike that he’s agreed to
write Adam out of his will and even arranges to make an appointment with
his solicitor for Mike to change the will in Danny’s favour, leaving Underworld
to him alone and making him the sole heir to the fortune in pants.
Leanne offers Danny her best immoral support.
Emily and Ed get cosy in the Rovers with a couple of drinks and Emily
invites Eileen over to join them. Ma Grimshaw’s straight over there, happy
at the thought of a single man in the snug but she finds it a turn off
when he starts waxing lyrical about religion and stuff. Ed and Emily
continue to grow friendly and Emily hosts a bible class in her front room
although Norris isn’t too happy when he gets turfed out. “You should
see the state of the place. Call themselves Christians?” he moans. “You
could have fed the five thousand from the crumbs they left on the floor”.
Carol getsh vereh, vereh dhrunk on cheap vodka and accuses Jamie and
Frankie of having the hots for each other. Jamie packs his mother’s
bags and throws her out on the street, tells her never to return and says
he wishes he’d never found her again in the first place. On her knees
on the cobbles, Carol begs her son to give her another chance but he closes
the door on her, gives Frankie a hug and tries to pretend he has no feelings
for his step-mum.
Ken’s still having problems with Eccles the dog. Molly helps him with
some basic dog training but just when it starts to look like it’s going
well, Ken takes off the dog’s muzzle and it bites him by the bar – which
is always a sore spot. Ken reckons Eccles is the ghost of Lena haunting
him by way of a shaggy coat and waggy tail.
And in the episode that I failed to see it looks like Sally caught Rosie
and Craig at it again, you know, it. Sally drags her tearful daughter to
the health centre and demands that the doctor give her the morning-after
pill to get rid of whatever might be in Rosie’s body from the night-before.
Rosie insists she and Craig had safe sex but Sally won’t hear it, she won’t
take any chances that Rosie might be pregnant and in danger of ruining her
life and turning out like Sarah Platt. When the doctor refuses to hand
over the pill because he knows Sally’s only doing this to punish Rosie, she
gets it from a chemist instead and stands over Rosie while she takes the pill,
a bitter one for both of them to swallow.
Deidre, Blanche, Norris and Roy turn up at the art gallery to see the
unveiling of the Duckie’s new portrait by Hilary. Jack’s on pins because
he’s nervous that Vera will see the nuddy paintings of him which are well-hung
in the back room of the gallery, hidden by a scarlet curtain. The
Duckie’s painting is wonderful, it really is, and just when it looks like
Jack’s got away without his missus spotting the other pictures, Vera’s face
turns to thunder as she discovers the secret room. She smashes one
of the canvases over Jack’s head and the pair of them leave under a thunder
cloud arguing with each other, as their other selves, captured in oils and
vibrant colours, smile benignly down on them from the gallery wall.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
Jan 23, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This
week the update has been thinking of spring cleaning the kitchen and has
started sorting out its cutlery drawer. I reckon it'll have to take
a trip down the market to get some new eating utensils because nothing in
there matches any more and all it could find were disparate house knives.
Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street
update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have
a look at :
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Downstairs in the corner shop Dev can hear babies crying from the flat
up above and wants to help out Sunita. Upstairs in the flat Sunita's suffering,
she hasn't slept and won't let Dev anywhere near her. Steve reckons Dev
should register the births and get his name on t'birth certificate.
Sunita thinks much the same but by the time she's struggled to the town
hall with babies, buggy and you know, all that baby stuff that only seems
to come in suitcase-size bags, she's furious when she finds out that Dev's
beaten her to it and registered her babies as his. Gradually she lets
Dev help out with the babies and he's over the moon, sitting there on her
sofa with a baby on each arm and snot and tears rolling down his face.
Tyrone's over the moon when a fish and chip van finds its way into the
garage. The owners reckon it'll be too expensive to fix so tell Kev he
can keep it and Tyrone offers to take it off his hands, fix it up himself
and go into the chippy business to make his millions, and more importantly,
impress Maria. Baker's daughter Molly sees the method behind Tyrone's
madness but Maria's less convinced. She's already not best pleased
with Tyrone when she finds out he's put her picture in the paper in this
Surprise the Budgie competition he's entered her for.
Danny convinces Mike he's going to see the solicitor to get his will
changed in Danny's favour. Just as they're about to set off, Danny
finds Mike up on the Underworld roof, briefcase in hand, head in the clouds.
When they finally get to the solicitor (and it's none other than Mr Lucas
from Are You Being Served?) the will's changed and Danny has the good grace
to feel a teensy bit guilty. That is, until he gets home to Leanne who has
no such qualms and convinces him otherwise. Mike then goes off golfing
in Spain and leaves the key to the flat with Danny, tells him to move in
and make himself comfortable - and that's just what Leanne has every intention
of doing.
Jamie goes on a date with Violet and takes her to the pizza place in
the precinct, the one with the red checky tablecloths and cheap, strong
red wine. My favourite kind of place. I haven't been to one in a good while.
In fact a romantic night out would be lovely. Ahem. Anyway, as they
walk in they spy the Platt's having dinner and Jason's there with Sarah.
Jealous Jason has a word with Jamie in the gent's loo and tells him to keep
away from Violet. Sarah overhears and ends up in tears. Jason tells Violet
he thinks of her constantly and wants to be with her. Down on one knee on
the cobbles in the ginnel, he asks her to marry him. "This is barmy!" she
says "This is off its chunk! You're mad!" So that's a 'no' then?
Rejected by Violet he decides to get back with Sarah and takes her cheap
flowers and a wilting apology. But it's not long before he's screaming at
her that she's a bunny boiler and walks out on her too with a wonderful parting
shot: "Legs from heaven, personality from hell. It's no wonder our Todd turned
to men after all the hassle he got from you."
Ed and Eileen continue apace with their relationship but Eileen fears
that because of Ed's religion, things will go nowhere fast. As
Ed fiddles with the bell-end at Emily's (there was no other way of phrasing
this, I tried, believe me, but that's what he was doing) he offers to touch-up
Eileen (I'm at it again!) 's paintwork and he's generally making himself useful
and friendly (calm down dear, it's only an update). He confides to
Emily about his past and tells her that he once slept on the streets and
spent time in prison, conveniently leaving out the part where he murdered
her husband.
Gail reckons that Phil and David might be starting to get along and become
friends. Indeed, that's what it looks like until David slams the car boot
down, hard, on Phil's hand. Oblivious to it all, Gail puts the kettle
on and has another cup of tea as Phil's rushed to A&E where he Ohs&Rs.
Roy's upset when he gets his school alumni newsletter. But why for? He's
alumnus of the month (I once had tablets for that) and there's an article
on the cafe. The reason he's not happy is that the newsletter brings
back painful school memories and the editor is a chap by the name of Clifford
Ford, the one person at school who was even more geeky than Roy.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
