August 7, 2006
Hello, come in, sit down, have a cuppa, put your feet up and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update has a crush on the voice of the pre-plastic surgery Tom Jones. What’s new pussycat? Well, without any further ado, let’s crack on and find out so here we go-oh-oh-oh-woah with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
There’s a whiff of wodge at the Barlow’s as Adam and Ken take Mike’s original will to the solicitors, which means Tracy turns up at the family home hoping to peck at a piece of pecuniary pie. Adam’s solicitor reckons he’s got a good case while Danny’s reckons he doesn’t. Danny’s a worried man and offers Adam a 10% share in the factory, which Adam refuses. Adam reports Danny to the cops and he’s taken in for questioning and told he could be banged up for seven years in the big house for fraud if it turns out he knew about Mike’s original will, which of course he did. The police make noises about rummaging around in his bank account which would mean they’d find the fifty grand he paid Leanne off with, so he’s got a lot to think on. Back at the Barlow’s, Danny ups his offer to Adam to 25% of the factory if he drops all the charges and stops the out of court action. Adam holds firm. Ken holds his nerve and they push for more, which they finally get in the shape of 40% - but I’m not sure what of – the factory? The villa in Spain? Does Adam get 40% of ladies pants and Danny keep control of the purse-strings to the g-strings? Is it 40% of a load of old pants?
Gail and Eileen are united in despair at the upcoming wedding of Jason and Sarah. The two mums sit in the Rovers in a bad mood with arms crossed and hackles raised when their kids tell them they’ve arranged their wedding and Audrey’s put a deposit down on a flat for them. Gail’s new hair-do makes her look like Camilla Parker-Bowles, and this, dear reader, is A Very Bad Thing. Not all the residents are so against the summer wedding, however. Bev offers to do free food at the reception in the Rovers, Roy offers to make a free wedding cake, Rita throws in a free packet of wedding invites and she gives Sarah something old, borrowed and blue for her day. No, it’s not one of Rita’s varicose veins, it’s a butterfly brooch. It’s big, it’s sparkly and looks the sort of thing best pinned onto a cardi. Very Rita.
Clare decorates the house, finds the answer to world peace and a cure for veruccas in her spare time. I made two of those things up but you get the idea. She won’t sit still for a minute and bond with the baby and nobody except 10 million viewers seem to have noticed this. Fred and Ashley, two men who know their way around pork bellies and marbled fat, but haven’t a clue what’s going on Clare who pretends all’s well in the post-natal department.
Rosie returns from France and Craig’s overjoyed to see her until she bores him rigid with tales of her mates and what they all did on their holidays. It gets worse when she shows him her photos: “…. and here’s another one of Laura outside the café” and starts demanding latte-dah coffees from Roy’s Rolls instead of the usual black with milk that Roy does so well. Rosie’s not best pleased to find out that Craig’s sleeping rough in Diggory’s cake shop but it’s quite romantic really, when you think about it, he’s only staying there to be with Rosie after all.
Meanwhile, at the Websters house with all the attention back on Rosie, younger sister Sophie gets into trouble when Sally catches her with cigarettes, Cameron and Chesney. Poor Chesney gets the blame for leading Sophie astray to the ashtray and Sally bans him from their house, but he was the one who was against them smoking in the first place. And when a fiver disappears from Sally’s house, Chesney gets the blame again but it’s Sophie who’s taken it to buy fags with Cameron. Best bit of all this was when Cilla and Les stormed into Sally’s house demanding she apologise to their Chesney, which she does. But Les has to yank Cilla out of there when she wants to video Sally’s apology on her mobile phone.
Glenda
August 14, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. Come in, sit down and make yourself comfy. Without any further ado, here we go with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Big story of the week has been Jason and Sarah’s wedding (or lack thereof) so I’ll jump right in with news of the nuptials. Strapped for cash, Sarah buys her wedding frock from a charity shop and it’s left to Fiz and Hayley to work their seamstress magic and turn some old woman’s petticoat into a pink confection of satin and bows. Little Bethany looks a picture in her white and pink froth of a frock but it all fails to crack a smile on Gail’s face, she remains opposed to the wedding and will not budge. Neither will Eileen, which means the two mardy mums form an unlikely alliance and drown their sorrows together in the Rovers with Eileen flipping beer mats on her nose after one glass too many while Gail’s hair-do flicks up in a vain attempt to flee from the sides of her miserable face. Charlie organises a joint hen and stag do in the Rovers which means Maria gets to see a cuddly side to her new landlord, which has hitherto been buried to all. As the two of them prepare the party in the Rovers, they flirt over bunting and balloons but when Maria tries to kiss him at the end of the night Charlie pulls away coyly, reminding her he’s taken. Ooh, he’s playing this one cool, is Charlie-boy. At the party, Jason slurs a speech about Sarah’s hair looking like a shampoo ad and how she’s got the cutest little toes he’s ever seen. Everyone drinks to the loving couple except for Eileen and Gail who stay away from the party in a bad mood and a sulk. “I hope Fiz marries me someday…” muses Kirkeh, taken by the romance of the night, “…at the Planetarium”.
On the day of the wedding it’s all systems go at the Platts as Audrey fusses in her best frock, Sarah’s in rollers, Maria’s doing make-up and hair while Gail goes to work, still not best pleased. Sarah gets little Bethany to sing her wedding song, A Whole New World, to Gail in the garden, hoping it’ll soften Gail’s heart and she’ll relent and give in. But even that doesn’t work (and somehow I can’t see Beth turning up on X-Factor any day soon). Over at Eileen’s, Jason’s in tears because his mum won’t come to the wedding and he even has to iron his own wedding shirt -although it’s left to Charlie to tell him he’ll get it done quicker if he plugs the iron in. At the Rovers, cold savouries are spread out on the bar ready for the reception and a bit of a do. When Betty spies Tyrone trying the pastries, she threatens to slap his backside and there was a wonderful comic look between the two of them across the bar of the pub.
And so, ladies and gennelmen, it’s off to Ryecroft Hall in Audenshaw http://www.tameside.gov.uk/corpgen/new/audiinfo1.htm for the wedding of the summer. Just as the happy couple are about to say their vows, in walk Eileen and Gail wearing a bit of slap and old frocks and it’s hugs all round with Sarah and Jason over the moon to see their mums who’ve arrived to watch them get wed. In the confusion of the moment and before Sarah can say “I do”, Jason pops to the loo and it all goes down the pan. When Jason doesn’t return after a wee while, Charlie goes to check to see if Jason’s got tummy troubles in the toilet but all he finds is an empty cubicle and an open window. Jason’s gone and done a runner, jilted Sarah in her pink frock on her special day and then sends her a txt msg to explain: “Can’t do it, sorry. J x” It’s a terrible thing, constipation, but it must have been pretty bad to make Jason miss his own wedding. Needless to say, Sarah’s in tears and Gail and Eileen return to best bickering form.
Elsewhere on the Street this week, Rosie spends time in the squat with Craig who’s dossing down in Diggory’s old cake shop. It’s right minging, with no running water and Craig’s smelly and unshowered but Rosie ends up falling asleep there and Sally and Kev are out of their mind with worry, not knowing where she is. Sally’s all for searching the streets, calling the cops, locking Rosie in her room until she’s 21 just as soon as they find the little madam. So when Rosie saunters home the next morning, she knows she’s got some explaining to do. She takes Sal and Kev to see where Craig’s sleeping rough. They’ve already offered for Craig to come and stay with them but he’s turned down their offer of bed and beans so Sally comes up with a plan. She asks Roy and Hayley if they’d take Craig in and when they see the conditions Craig’s living in they can’t turn him down. He’s not best pleased at first and kicks out for his independence but Craig finally caves in to soap and water, hot meals and nights in playing Scrabble with the Croppers.
In the Rovers, new barmaid Michelle starts work after Vernon the drummer – a man who’s turned being feckless into an art form – puts in a good word for her with Fred, without telling Liz. Liz isn’t best pleased to be working with Michelle and this Corrie fan isn’t best pleased that Kym Ryder’s in Corrie. Let’s just say the jury is out in our house, at least on my side of the sofa, but I’m prepared to give her a chance. Just. Anyway, Liz is keeping a beady eye on Vernon who’s keeping a beady eye on Michelle behind the bar, along with Steve, who’s also quite taken with the Rovers new barmaid. Vernon’s not happy working at Streetcars and tells Liz it’s not quite his scene, he prefers being a drummer in the band: “I’m used to being adored” he moans.
Maria settles into Charlie’s flat and has to call out her new landlord when the electrics stop working. Little does she know that Charlie’s been into the flat when she was shopping in town and removed some fuses, deliberately on purpose so he’d have an excuse to get in there with his new tenant. She’s not the brightest bulb in the pack is Maria, but I don’t think she deserves what Charlie’s got up his evil sleeve for her over the coming months, oh dearie me, no.
Adam’s full of swagger and smirk and lords it over the girls at the factory with his “Call me Mr Barlow” act then doesn’t bother turning in to his first day at work. He goes shopping and drinking and thinks it’s a lark, getting 40% of the factory business for doing sweet nowt. Danny offers him fifty grand cash to buy back his share of Underworld, which Adam refuses. When Ken finds out that Adam’s wasted his first day, he’s angry with him and tells him so, in no uncertain terms, especially after Blanche has bought him an alarm clock from the car boot sale.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda -
August 21, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update is getting ready for its birthday tomorrow, August 23. But anyway, before I start the update this week I’d like to mention The Soap Show at http://www.thesoapshow.com. It’s a weekly internet radio show for fans of British and Australian soaps. It’s good fun and well worth tuning in. Past shows have included interviews with the actor who played Corrie’s Todd Grimshaw and Coronation Street writer Patrea Smallacombe. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
I wasn’t sure if I’d tuned into Coronation Street or a cheap German porn B-movie this week, what with Maria calling Charlie round to her flat to fix a leaking tap after he’d been in there while she was out removing the tap washer in the first place. When the water sprayed Maria’s kitchen and her t-shirt went see through I had to avert my eyes. I think I also tutted loudly. And then landlord Charlie came round to sort out Maria’s plumbing and the next thing you know, he’s helping her off with her wet clothes and into bed. It was probably just in case she was starting with the flu, or something. Maria’s falling for Charlie and she thinks he’s feeling the same way about her but she gets a rude awakening when little miss toxic returns to the cobbles ahead of schedule, surprising Charlie. Tracy goes to the salon to get her mane teased back into shape and demands a cut and colour from Maria herself. Charlie turns up to pay the hairdresser’s bill and whispers sweet nothings to the Corrie crimper as he hands over the cash behind Tracy’s back.
Jiltin’ Jason disappears for a few days while Sarah cries on the sofa in her jim-jams, Eileen’s got a face like thunder and Gail’s going round saying “I told you so” to anyone who’ll listen. Sarah tells little Bethany that daddy Jason isn’t going to be her daddy anymore, he and mummy have had a falling out. But when Jason does return he’s full of remorse and guilt and desperate to win back the fair hand of the Platt maiden. In a gesture he thinks romantic he pins up a huge sheet across the road from the Platt’s house that reads “Sarah. I love you. Sorry babe, x”. “What’s a babex?” asks Gail. It doesn’t do the trick (not yet, anyroad) as Sarah takes down the notice and uses it to wrap up the last bits and pieces she still owns of Jason’s – CDs, DVDs, teddy bear – his most important things in life and then throws them out on the street.
Claire’s still scrubbing and cleaning, working and shopping, anything other than staying at home with the new baby. Ashley can’t understand what’s got into his missus and pleads with her to stay home and act like he thinks a new mother should. But he’s blind to what millions of viewers can already see, Claire’s got post-natal depression and Ashley hasn’t a clue. After a phone call from her mum she takes the baby to the park in a Streetcars taxi and leaves him there alone then she disappears. A passing cyclist finds the abandoned taxi and baby, rings Eileen on the switch who tells Ashley who drives straight there in his jam-jar motor. He smashes the car window and rescues the baby just as Claire reappears and Ashley’s furious with her. They calm down and talk and she tells him her mum is dying with cancer. Is this the reason for Claire’s odd behaviour? Is she really telling the truth?
Barmaid Michelle starts work at the Rovers and both Vernon and Steve eye her up behind the bar. Liz isn’t best pleased about any of this and takes it upon herself to make life difficult for her new barmaid on account of the fact that her fella and her son are giving her the glad eye. With Liz busy behind the bar, Vernon asks Michelle out on a date - which she refuses. When Steve says he wouldn’t mind going out with Michelle, Vernon warns him off and says she’s got two ugly brothers who make The Sopranos look like Four Poofs and a Piano. Never heard of them? Find out more at www.4poofsandapiano.com
Craig moved in with The Croppers this week after Rosie left him again to spend summer with her mate Laura in a big house in Devon. Kev feels sorry for the lad so invites him round to watch the footy with beer and fish and chips which makes Hayley feels left out and she tells Craig he can watch footy there any time he likes. Bless him, he’s a lovely lad is Craig and he doesn’t want to upset Hayley so tells her he’ll stay in one night to play cards with the Croppers.
At the factory, Danny ups and leaves for a holiday in Spain, visiting son Warren. He leaves with Frankie’s best wishes and her lipstick kiss on his cheek. Danny puts Adam in charge at the factory while he’s away, something that Adam isn’t too happy about as it means he’ll actually have to do some work. But Ken’s pleased as it means Adam will have to face up to some responsibility instead of zooming around Weatherfield in his little yellow noddy sports car.
Amber returned from Finland this week and managed to get on Dev’s bad side when she told him she wanted to work in Kev’s garage. Kev tells Dev nothing’s been arranged but it’s clear that Dev doesn’t want his daughter working in dirty dungarees, in what he considers to be a man’s job. Amber tells Dev he’s sexist and racist when he asks her what’s wrong with working in the shop. “You want me to be an Asain stereotype!” she yells as Dev gets manic about her becoming a mechanic.
And Molly moved in with Tyrone this week at the Duckies. Fed up Fiz is jealous that nothing exciting is happening in her life and she has a go at Kirkeh, blaming him for them both having a boring life and complains that they never do things they’ve never done before. So Kirk grabs Fiz by the arm and walks her backwards from the pub to his house. “What are you doing that for?” yells Fiz. “Cos I’ve never done it before” replies Kirk as the two of them giggle backwards all the way home.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda -
August 28, 2006
First off, many thanks for the birthday wishes that were winged my way across th’internet last week, they were all much appreciated. Regular readers of the updates who’ve been with me for years will be relieved to know that I continue to look as fresh and girly as I did all those years ago when we first started out on our weekly update adventure together and, ahem, I’m pleased to report no grey hairs or wrinkles. But now, without any further ado, here we go with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Jiltin’ Jason works to get back into Sarah’s good books and puts up posters up and down the street declaring his lurve for little Ms Platt. Or Splatt, as I like to call her. But when Sarah sees the posters she rips them all down and uses them to wrap up the odds and ends Jason has left at her house - DVDs, CDs, and the teddy bear necessities of life.
Amber starts work at Kev’s garage and Norris is first to complain that it’s an unsuitable role for a young girl when he spies her in her overalls. But a surprising friendship has sprung up between Norris and Amber, the two of them gossiping about anyone and everyone like a couple of old women. Amber asked him if he was ever a hippy, to which Norris replied no, he couldn’t get away with wearing sandals without socks. This could be an interesting partnership to keep a comic eye on. Dev’s not best pleased when he returns from a meeting with Sunita and the twins only to find out that Sunita’s gone and got herself another fella. Amber can’t help but feel relieved that Deve won’t be throwing her out of his life, not yet anyroad.
Claire’s still manically cleaning and re-cleaning the house, snapping at Ashley and pretending (I think) that her mum’s ill with cancer. Ashley takes the baby to register his name – Thomas Duncan Peacock – but Claire stays home and takes no interest in her newborn. She arranges to have lunch with Eileen but when the big lass turns up at high noon with butties and cakes, Claire hides on the floor and pretends she’s not in. Eileen suspects there’s something wrong with Claire - the lights are on, but no-one’s home.
Kirk books a cottage in the Peak District to take Fiz away on holiday after she complains to Rita that she’s fed up and frustrated. I love the way Fiz kicks out against the confines of the cobbles every once in a while. It’d be unnatural not to, don’t you think? Anyway, Molly and Tyrone tag along on the holiday but Kirk has to tell Maria that she’s not wanted so he puts it to his sister as subtly as Kirkeh knows how: “You can’t come!” after Molly says she’s not going if Tyrone’s ex is. Away from the cobbles in the country, Fiz wants to go walking and sight seeing but the rest of them want to go pubbing and drinking. She storms off with Monica (the greyhound, remember?) and Molly in tow and confides to her mate that Kirk is fast losing appeal.
The Croppers are having trouble coping with Craig in their flat. They’re not used to such a big, hefty teenager hanging around the house and Hayley gets herself into a state over not having enough time in the bathroom each morning to do all the things that a woman’s got to do. Roy’s all for drawing up a rota and the two of them get all panicked about sharing their space with Craig, who’s oblivious to it all.
When Underworld chuck out an old PC, Fiz and Kirk take it home for Chesney to use. The first thing he does is get on th’internet to play games but Roy tells him there’s money to be made from selling old tat on ebay and shows him how to do it. You can see where this is going already, can’t you? Yup, Cilla’s in dire straits and it can’t be long before she starts flogging off everything they own, including Les’ Status Quo LPs.
Charlie installs CCTV at the builders yard and trains it onto Maria’s front door so he can track her whereabouts as she flits hereabouts and thereabouts. She tries to cool it with Charlie and when he breaks into her flat to mess up the washing machine so it causes a leak, Maria calls out a plumber, trying to retain some distance from her lewd landlord. But Charlie’s not having this, he wants Maria totally dependent on him, just him, just like Shelley once was. So he breaks into her flat, smashes things up, breaks things and steals things and then when the cops arrive he’s round there offering tea and sympathy and says he’ll fix things up for Maria. She’s nervous about being in the flat on her own so calls Charlie round to help her out of her clothes and into bed. I hope they don’t drag this thing on for months like they did with Charlie and Shelley. I don’t think I could stand another three months of a decent actress wasted, playing “Menaced. Wearing Pjyamas” five times a week.
And in the Rovers, Betty and Liz keep a close eye on new barmaid Michelle who’s giving Steve McDonald the glad eye. Michelle’s also trying to keep her distance from feckless Vernon who’s hands keep wandering in Michelle’s direction. She’s not best pleased about it at all although Liz thinks Michelle is a huge flirt, trying to steal away both her fella and her son.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
