Without any ado, further or otherwise, let’s crack
on with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have
a look at :
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Scummy mummy Gail Platt starts parenting classes on the advice of her family
counsellor after only Gail turns up for the psycho-sessions at home.
A big fella with 'Steve' on a label (Avery L7163) stuck on his jumper asks
the small group at the class to make a sound expressing exactly how they
feel. He takes the lead with an expressive sort of yawn and then asks Gail
to go for it, to do her stuff, make her noise. Her face tells you she
wishes she was somewhere else entirely (although perhaps not in the passenger
seat of a car plunging into the canal) as the noise I’d expect a cat to
make if it was having its tadger chopped off, starts to enter the room.
She then has to harangue one of the group members as if he were David,
letting rip of all her emotions and pent up frustrations onto this er,
volunteer, telling him everything she wishes she could tell David. But
when it gets to the bit where she’s saying “.. and I’m sorry I brought the
murdered into your life…” Steve the label man sits Gail down firmly in her
chair and backs of, a bit scared.
It’s Jack’s 70th birthday and he wants no fuss so Vera packs her bags
and sets off for a girly trip to Amsterdam with Molly and Fiz. After they’ve
gone, Tyrone and Kirk drag Jack to the Rovers where they’ve got a stripper
booked. When the lights go out in the pub, in walks Vera with a cake,
she hadn’t gone away after all and the stripper heads in just as Kirkeh chucks
her out before Vera finds out. Everyone raises their glasses in a
birthday toast but Jack insists the toast goes to both of them, to Vera
and Jack. Glasses up! To Vera and Jack!
Ken’s had enough of Norris’ bickering and bitching in the Kabin: “You
make Mussolini look like Mary Poppins!” he yells before walking out, leaving
Norris to struggle with the People’s Friend and sherbet dib-dabs all by
himself. Blanche helps out when Norris needs what he called a
comfort break but we know he went to the loo. While he’s up there, Blanche
helps herself to free fudge and then Emily helps him until Rita returns. Speaking
of Rita, she’s still in Hungary with her foot up, itching for an Eccles
cake. Hungry in Hungary, by all accounts.
Bill takes Audrey for a night at the dogs and the two of them share
pork scratchings and pints before heading back to ‘his place’ (that’ll
be Kev and Sally’s front room then?). As Bill fumbles in the Webster’s
back yard for his door key, he bends over and Audrey, not one to miss an
opportunity, nips his bum! This was a wonderful touch, which Sophie
spies from her bedroom window and Bill says he’ll give her a fiver if she’ll
keep schutm. As Bill leads Audrey into the house, the two of them
snog by the Webster’s back entry. He then heads back to Germany after
kissing Audrey in the snug and she leaves for Canada to see son Steven.
Becky bursts into Roy’s Rolls, all fag end and dog rough. She wants
Hayley to give her a reference for a job, a request that Hayley’s too scared
to refuse and Roy runs up the stairs for a pen and some paper as quick as
you like, wanting Becky done with and away. When Norris and Blanche
spy Becky outside the café, they tell the factory girls the news
and Kelly’s not best pleased. She storms round just in time to see Hayley
and Becky getting on the Weatherfield Wayfarer en route to the adult literacy
class Hayley’s teaching to Becky and other assorted ex-offenders.
Liz and Steve take over the Rovers and it’s all systems go, the boat’s
pushed out with a lock-in and there’s free drinks all round. Liz wants
to sack Michelle but Steve wants to keep her. The one thing they can agree
on is that Bev has to go. She’s still drinking at the end of the bar, glass
in one hand, fondling Fred’s urn with the other. Steve tells Bev she
has to move out as Michelle and son Ryan are moving in, away from their
hovel of a home. It’s a lie of course and it finds its way back to Steve
who gets the evil eye from Liz, Michelle and an exasperated Eileen, fresh
from being welded into her seat at a hard shift in Streetcars. Steve
eyeballs the lot of them with: “What? What have I done now, eh?”
Betty’s been in the Rovers long enough to see landlords and landladies come
and go, and sometimes come back. She’ll cope with Liz and Steve like she’s
coped with the rest of them by doing what she does best – she has a right
good moan. This time it’s about putting pot-pourri in the ladies loos so when
she finds out that someone’s been sick after trying to eat the stuff, her
wisdom will come back to haunt Liz. Vernon turns up, downcast in a
hat with a wilted bunch of flowers and a red balloon that says I Luv Liz.
“I’ve been in a dark place since I left you” he says, probably Bradford. “I’ve
lost my rhythm, lost my rascals, lost my Liz”. After a bit of schmoozing
in the snug, Liz takes him back, as you knew she would. I love Vernon and
welcome his return, he's the only man in Corrie to turn being feckless into
an art form.
Danny takes Frankie and Jamie out for a slap up Sunday lunch, pops a
ring into some fizz and pops the question to Frankie. “Francesa, will you
marry me? Again?” She says yes but her face says no. Jamie moans to Sean
who listens with the patience of a saint while sitting on a barrel in the
Rovers back yard. What a nasty little business this Danny-Frankie-Jamie
triangle is.
Tracy starts to cosy up to Claire, the woman she once called a Care-Bear
with Tog Rating 15. She also once said if Claire and Ashley ever had a child
it would have the personality of a frying pan and the voice of Tweety-pie.
Tracy’s forcing herself to do the friend thing (something that doesn’t
come naturally to Ms Barlow-no-mates) so she’ll have at least one credible
witness when she does the nasty to Charlie Stubbs and does him in over
Christmas. Oooh, I can hardly wait.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
Greetings and welcome, come in and sit down. The kettle’s
just boiled and the tea’s almost ready so sit back relax and without any
further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have
a look at :
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
The factory girls are revolting, especially Janice Battersby, and aren’t
best pleased with Hayley for getting friendly with Becky. Undeterred, Hayley
gives Becky a job in Roy’s Rolls but is she being too kind? Roy seems to
think so and has a word with Becky about chewing while working although
she reckons the mastication helps her concentration. She drops stuff, hits
the customers, changes the wireless dial from Radio Fogey to Slapper FM
and smacks Les around the chops when he badmouths Roy and then she tries
to fiddle Tyrone out of a fiver. The factory girls almost boycott Becky
in the café and threaten to take their sandwich order elsewhere but
Hayley says everyone deserves a second chance. She’s too kind, that Hayley,
too kind.
As Danny plans a Spanish wedding and peruses brochures about buying a
villa, Jamie and Frankie have hanky-panky behind his back and upstairs in
the bedroom. As mum and stepson snuggle under the duvet, Danny’s downstairs
knocking at their front door wondering where the pair of them are. Danny
was planning to cook dinner for his wife to be and his son but they’ve already
dined in the kitchen of lurve. Jamie’s all for telling Danny and finally
Frankie agrees but just as they’re about to give Danny the bad news, in
walks tanfastic Warren, back in Blighty from Spain for footy talks with
Port Vale. “Buenosh Diash” he says in that way that he does, and “Cushty”.
I was hoping he’d ask where his Candy-girl was but he doesn’t seem to care
that she’s naffed off with The Quo. Anyway, Danny takes his boys
and his missus to the Italian in the precinct, the one with the checky red
tablecloths and emotions run high. It must be something in the pizza. Danny’s
kept in the dark, for now.
Michelle and Steve nickname Vernon “pervy pot-man” when Liz gives him
a job collecting glasses in the pub. She wants him up and down the stairs
with the mixers and the barrels, while he wants a quiet life and a place
to rest his head. But he’s not that daft as he knows if he wants someone
to live and keep on the right side of Liz, he’ll have to make it at least
look like he’s working, even if he isn’t. Steve has a word with
Vernon in the back room about his intentions towards Liz. “She rings my bell,
she blows my horn.” Vernon tells him, which is probably a bit more information
than Steve really wanted to hear.
Gail’s parenting classes seem to be doing some good as she calms down
her warring kids as they try to knock ten bells out of each other on the
sofa. David gets Gail watching Formula One racing on telly and mum
and son settle down on the sofa, watching it together in the living vroom.
Bev moves in with the Peacocks, a mother hen in a cooped up pen.
To escape her clutches, Claire’s only too happy to take up Tracy Barlow’s
offer of friendship next door. By ‘eck, she must be desperate. Tracy makes
on as if Charlie will perform unspeakable acts upon her person in a violent
sort of manner if her cooking, cleaning and domestic goddess skills aren’t
up to scratch. Her evil plan is working when Claire confides to Ashley
and Bev that she’s starting to feel concerned (when she’s really being conned).
Having decided to rechristen baby Thomas to Freddie, Claire and Ashley
decide on godparents in Eileen and Roy. Hayley’s put out that she hasn’t
been asked and is just a bit too enthusiastic with the slapping on Eileen’s
back as she chokes on her crisps when the Peacocks ask her to accompany
Roy.
Cilla starts behaving oddly doing things she’s never done before like
cooking for her family and taking them out for Sunday lunch. Fiz smells a
rat, she knows something’s up but Cilla denies there’s anything going on.
Cilla even tidies the house which makes Chesney upset when she clears
up his under-bed fungus collection. Les asks Eileen about, you
know, women’s troubles and lowering his voice to a whisper in case anyone
should hear him speak of ladies unmentionables, asks Eileen if Cilla might
be going through the change. “The Chains?” asks Eileen before kicking
Les out of the cab office after giving him a good yelling at. Well, he did
suggest Eileen might have been through it too.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
