Feb 5, 2007Wahey! Come on in, the kettle’s on and the mice haven’t been at the biscuits, well, not the ones in the middle of the pack. Just be careful when you eat the ones that look like they’ve got choc-chips. This week the update invites you to cast off your coat, leave your wellies by the back door, come in, sit down, and relax with more news from the cobbles. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Deirdre hugs David round the cobbles, tells him he’s worth his weight in gold and that his eye witness account of Tracy killing Charlie in self defence will keep Little Miss Murder out of jail. All this attention makes David realise he could indeed be sitting on a gold mine. But hey, aren’t we all, if we choose to work it that way? Anyway, I digress. David comes onto Tracy, telling her he hopes, with a nasty gleam in his eye, that she’ll be very, very grateful for his lies to the cops. Tracy knows exactly what young Master Platt wants but instead of a bit of slap and tickle she gives him Charlie’s car radio. “It’ll do, for now” says David. Tracy’s fed up stuck indoors so gets Deirdre to give her £40 on the pretence of going into town to buy clothes for Amy. Instead, she heads straight to the pub. Getting totally trashed, Tracy comes on to Dev who has the good sense to shrug her off. When Ken and Deirdre come in the pub later, as you hoped they would, they’re gobsmacked to find Tracy drunk. Tracy can’t be doing with the lecture from her parents and runs out of the pub to a club in a taxi to spend the night with some bloke she picks up. “It’s scandalous, it’s outrageous!” says Blanche. And just for good measure, she says “It’s scandalous” twice before calling her granddaughter a “…hardfaced slut - and you didn’t get that from me!”
Roy and Hayley splash the cash on a new, old car. It’s a Morris Minor Traveller, more commonly known as a Woody. I can’t have been the only Corrie fan to have sniggered every time Roy talked about his woody, can I? I know, it’s childish, immature and just proves that I should act my age, not my shoe size. But when Kevin Webster came over with his toolbox to do an inspection around the rim, I laughed so much that tea squirted from my nose. Painful? Oh yes. Anyway, the car, now officially known as Roy and Hayley’s pride and joy, goes missing when Slug and Becky take it for a joyride on the moors. Becky’s against it at first, she doesn’t want to upset the Croppers but Slug persuades her to nick the car with him and off they go… vroom, vroom, hang on a minute, let’s just get it warmed up, vroom, vroom, hang on, nearly got it going, vroom vroom - and off they puttered at 15mph. When Becky wakes up the next morning, she’s alone with the Woody (snigger, sorry) and after an argument with Slug, he drives off and leaves her alone then abandons the car. When the police ring Roy to say that they they’ve found it, Becky’s coat is on the back seat. Hayley sacks her and tells her they want nowt more to do wi’er. Best line of the week went to Roy on taking delivery of the new car. As he hands the car keys to Hayley, he says, somewhat proudly: “My wife’s the driver. I prefer to be one of life’s passengers”. And sometimes, Roy, that’s the only way to enjoy the view even if you don’t go in the direction you expect and the driver can be rather grumpy.
Over at Underworld, Carla’s range of kids clothes gets off to a bad start when the buyer wants smaller pockets. Smaller pockets? On kids clothes? Then where are they going to put their pet frogs, chewed up toffees, dead mice, Sky+ remote control that everyone in the house has been looking for and assumed that odd bloke from number three had nicked last time he was round? Kelly and Jo go into overdrive with overtime and Liam makes his interest in Jo very clear. There was snogging by the bobbins on the factory floor. Kelly still thinks she’s in with a chance with Liam, which she’s not. Jo dumps Adam by text message and he joins Steve and Jamie in the Rovers, musing and maudlin over which of them really is the biggest loser. Just when it looked like Steve was going to win it with “I still live with me mum”, Adam comes in to bag the loser prize, for having been dumped by his girlfriend and for having stupid hair.
Rita’s mate Doreen Fenwick turns up, older but not much wiser from their days spent together in the Charlie Roscoe Exotic Dance Troupe. She meets Norris first. “Can I do anything for you?” Norris asks the blonde, brazen soap oap as she lingers outside of the Kabin. Doreen gives him a quick up and down and then: “I shouldn’t think so, no”. She comes with the kind of telly dialogue heard in Open All Hours. It’s N-N-N-Nurse Gladys Emmanuel all over again, but I’m not complaining, I love this sort of stuff. She chats up Bill Webster and squashes the confectionary with her ample bosom. “Are you going to hang around the shop and sexually harass all the male customers?” Norris asks Doreen, and she gives him a look to say, yes, she probably is. Over drinks in the Rovers, Doreen and Rita catch up on over 30 years apart with Norris and Emily listening in to the gossip from Doreen, ending up with the punch line: “… and that’s the last time I ever ate a chipolata!”
Over in the Rovers, Michelle finally gets the chance to introduce new fella Sonny to Sean but it appears the two men already know each other, in ways that would take the shine of Michelle’s glossy bob if she found out just how. Sondip, as Sean knew him way back when, broke Sean’s heart and told him he was bisexual, dumped him and left. “There’s no such thing as bisexual” says Sean, “It’s just greed”. Sonny begs Sean not to say anything to Michelle and firmly tells Sean what’s in the past must stay there. The thing is though, it looks like Sean’s going to have trouble keeping it put.
Odd throwaway line of the week went to Steve, walking along the cobbles, coming out of (I think) Eileen’s house. As he closed the door behind him he shouted through: “You’ll be needing the jelly mould!” Wonderful stuff from Jonathan Harvey again. Anyway, Steve gets drunk in the Rovers when Michelle tells him quite clearly she doesn’t fancy him and will never go out with him, no way, not never, no how. Sean returns to the pub to clear up and Steve’s sitting at the bar much the worse for wear after a few too many, moaning about Michelle. “Is it cos I’m fat?” he asks Sean, showing off his hairy beer belly and wondering why he’s not a hit with the ladies. Bless him, he did offer Jamie a job on the cabs though. Well, if Les can do it, anyone can.
And finally this week, Cilla’s called in to see Chesney’s headmaster who tells her that Ches’ behaviour at school has deteriorated badly since Cilla thought she had cancer. She determines to shape up and get Chesney back living with her and Les, decides to turn over a new leaf and gets Les to wallpaper the living room. Well, it’s a start.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
Feb 12, 2007
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
There’s bitching at the Barlows but this time it’s not Tracy bitching, it’s Blanche. And Deirdre. Even Ken joined in and I’m sure little Amy had a scowl on her face. And they’re all bitching about Tracy, which made something of a change. Blanche calls Tracy a hussy and a tart when Tracy tells them she’s got a new fella she met in a club. With Adam’s help pressing buttons on Tracy’s phone, Blanche rings this new fella, Dom, and asks him if he’s aware that his new piece of skirt is out on bail for murder. Tracy doesn’t know any of this and sets off to meet Dom in a bar but when she’s stood up she sits down to call a cab and then rises to greet Steve McDonald who’s come to pick her up. And pick her up he does. The two of them have a drink at the bar before heading back to the cobbles where Steve chances his arm with a snog in the cab before pulling faces no. 27(a): slightly confused, 12(b) manic and 37(a) help I need me mother. It’s Amy’s 3rd birthday and after the excitement of Pass the Parcel has sent the grown ups in search of alcohol to steady their nerves, only Steve and Tracy are left in the Barlows as everyone else gossips about them in the pub. “They’ll be at each other’s throats by now” says Liz to Deirdre. Which was quite close to the truth as Tracy and Steve had their tongues down each other’s throats, and then it’s up the apples and pears to Bedfordshire. The morning after the night before Steve tries to leave the Barlows without anyone catching him. Some hope. Blanche is lurking in the kitchen, ready with a barbed comment and a piece of toast. Steve tries to avoid Tracy the next day but they meet for a drink in the Rovers and he asks her out for a Valentine’s meal on Wednesday night. Tracy’s over the moon but not too stupid to realise he’s only asked her out to make barmaid Michelle jealous. But then Tracy proves that in fact she is that stupid as it doesn’t stop her agreeing to go out on the date.
Grandad Morton settled himself this week into becoming one of the Rovers regulars. He’s hardly said a word so far, called Dev ‘Chief’ last week and that’s been about it. He sits in a booth in his hat and bides his time by the fruit machine, watching Les and Cilla tip in their cash. When they’re done, he glides over, drops his money in, spins the reel and collects the jackpot, in his hat. Les and Cilla try to guess his name and he’s just got one thing to tell them when he astounds them with his win. “It’s Wilf!”.
Meanwhile, Wilf’s granddaughter Jodie fights with Jason to get the plastering done in her new takeaway shop. Jason can’t cope so gets Bill Webster in to help him finish it off. It was really Sarah who asked Bill to help Jason out as Jase was too proud to take on any help, despite having to plaster with one hand and push Holly in her buggy with t’other. Looking after Holly is taking its toll on young Jason, his life’s not his own and he can’t cope with the baby. In desperation (or was it laziness?) he rings emergency Social Services and tells them he knows where there’s a baby being mistreated, her name’s Holly Grimshaw and she lives on Corrie Street.
Sean winds up Sonny in the Rovers, getting in little digs at him about his bisexual behaviour. Sonny’s playing it cool for now and tells Sean what’s in the past must stay there. Michelle doesn’t know anything of Sonny’s past yet and is falling fast for her new fella.
Over at Underworld, Jo comes clean to the factory girls and tells them she and Liam are having a bit of a thing. She blurts it out to stop Kelly from carping on about how much Liam fancied her but it backfires on them all when Carla sacks Jo on account of the fact that if she’s thick enough to fall for Liam then she’s not safe to work machinery. Kelly approaches Carla for a job at the factory and no one, but no one, is pleased to see her back. Liam dumps Jo as quick as you like, tells her he’s not interested in anything heavy. He was probably just taking a more hands on approach to his work in ladies pants.
Rita’s mate Doreen gets her into all sorts of mischief with drinking and dining. This all adds up to Rita having hangovers in the Kabin and getting her bon-bons in a right old state. Norris is not best pleased at Rita having fun and tells her so, at every opportunity, blaming Doreen for bringing her down. Rita’s having the time of her life and she toasts her old mate with a drink to celebrate not being dead. Sounds like Norris could do with some of that.
Fiz struggles this week to look after Chesney, to feed him and pay for his food and school trips. She begs Cilla for the child benefit money but she’s refused, of course. So she and Kirk go into Cilla and Les’ house and nick all of their food from the cupboards. When Cilla finds out she’s straight over to the flat nicking it all back before Maria throws her out. But despite Fiz doing her best for her little brother, he’s defecting back across the road, for chips, pizza and junk food after Fiz tries to feed him up on veggies and love.
And finally this week, cabbie Lloyd Mullaney returned to the cobbles after actor Craig Charles’ leave of, er, absence. And there wasn’t a word, not a word, said about him being away. Lloyd reappeared from nowhere as if he’d never been away.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
Feb 19, 2007
Wilkommen, Bienvenue and Bonjour to this week’s Coronation Street update. There’s no reason why the update has gone foreign speak this week, I just like to keep all you lovely readers on your toes. But for now, get off your toes and sit on your bottoms while you read this week’s worth of words from the cobbles. Oh, and to the one who nicks my ideas and good stuff from these weekly updates (and you know who you are), deep shame on your unoriginal, corporate head. I might just have to stop your chocolate biscuit allowance. And so, without any further adieu, here we go with this week’s Rue de Coronation update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
It’s Valentine’s day and Sophie sends a card to nosy Norris as a joke. But it misfires – both badly and sadly. Sally signs the card, thinking it’s from Sophie to Chesney and as she flourishes the Bic, she signs it ‘Hot Lips’. Norris is over the moon and spends all day mooning by the cough drops wondering who his Valentine could be. When Sally comes into the Kabin to pay her paper bill (The Gazette, Grease Monkey Monthly for Kev, Pushy Housewives for Sal) she leaves a signed cheque and Norris notices Hot Lips’ handwriting. All of a quiver, he starts flirting with Sally, who tells Kev, who turns Neanderthal and storms into the Kabin threatening to knock Norris into next week if he doesn’t stop being free and easy with his bon-bons to his wife. When Kev and Sally later joke about Norris chatting her up, Sophie realises what’s happened and comes clean about the card. She’s marched to the Kabin to apologise to Norris who’s crestfallen that he hasn’t got an admirer after all.
After Jason called the council last week to report baby Holly being mistreated, Eileen gets a visit from Shirley at the social. The social worker tells Eileen there’s been a complaint and only after Eileen grizzling at Gail on the Street for grassing her up to the council does Jason come clean and admit it were him. He says he can’t cope, doesn’t want to cope, and as there’s been no test done to prove that Holly is even his baby, why should he try? He seems perfectly reasonable, if you ask me. But Eileen wants to keep the baby and says she’ll look after her with help from Violet and Sean. She even cooks up a plan with Clare to share jobs at Streetcars and child-mind in their spare time. I love it when a plan comes together.
Fat Brenda from Levershulme, come on in, your time is up. It’s at least the second time Fat Brenda’s been mentioned in Corrie. Will we ever see her or will she remain a shady cab character along with Streetcars’ Big Al? Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Fat Brenda and Big Al in the same place? At the same time? Inquiring minds what to know. Well, I do, anyroad.
At Roy’s Rolls, Becky tries again to make amends with Hayley who’s not having any of it. Hayley’s been hurt badly and won’t let Becky get close to her again. So when the café goes up in flames and Becky’s carried out of the smoke by cabbie Lloyd, Roy and Hayley jump to conclusions and reckon Becky set the place on fire out of spite. “You wretched, wretched woman!” yells Roy to Becky when he sees his livelihood go up in flames. And Hayley jumps in with: “You nasty, rotten, little cow” (which is as bad as Hayley’s ever got). Despite Becky’s protestations, no one believes that she had nowt to do with the fire and she’s sacked from Underworld and cast out of the cobbles. So Hayley’s got some explaining to do when the fire officer tells her the blaze was started by a fault with the deep fat fryer. Hayley feels even more wracked with guilt with she finally opens the gift that Becky’s been trying to foist off on her all week – curtains for the Woody with an embroidered H and R on them. Until the flat and café are ready to move back into, Roy puts a sign on the door “Closed Until Further Notice” and Rita lets the Croppers move in with her. Meanwhile, next door, Jodie Morton presses Jason and Bill - “Can they fix it? Probably, love, but we’ll have to wait for the parts” - builders of the parish to crack on with doing up her takeaway so she can capitalise on Roy’s closure to nick all his customers. Roy dreams of reopening the caff as a French tea salon, all croissants and Edith Piaf instead of barm cakes and Bez.
Fiz is upset when Chesney goes back to live with Cilla and Les, tempted by chips and pies and a newly painted bedroom. Cilla taunts Fiz and tells her if she wants a kid to look after she’d do well to have a baby of her own. Kirk overhears and assumes Fiz wants to get pregnant so backs off when she gets sexy on the sofa, telling her he’s not ready for babies, not yet. But neither is Fiz, she’s just feeling alone with no direction in life, nothing to aim for and nowhere to go. I love Fiz when she gets like this, kicking out against life on the cobbles. She’s the only young ‘un that ever does.
“I’m not going back to that nasty little chicken” says Carla Connor of sister-in-law Michelle who’s burned the Sunday roast she was cooking for the Connor clan. Something that does put a smile on Carla’s tanfastic face is when she gets a double order for her kids clothes from Trendy Tots. But with Becky now sacked, she’s down to Kelly stitching the clobber all alone.
In the corner shop, Dev interviews Molly for a job, she’s had enough of working at the kennels and when a Rhodesian Ridgeback with the runs turns her stomach she thinks of taking up Dev’s job offer instead. Amber takes it into her own hands to interview Molly while Dev’s out of the shop and makes it plain so doesn’t want another woman in the shop, afraid that Dev will make babies with yet another of his shop keepers. Needless to say, when Dev returns, Molly gets the job and Amber gets sacked.
Clare tells Ashley she’s going to volunteer as a phone counsellor for Women at Crisis, a Manchester run charity “for women who are depressed, and that”. She wants to practice on Ashley pretending to be a lady caller on the baby intercom but it doesn’t quite work when Ashley won’t play along at pretending to be someone called Miranda or Ruth who are depressed, and that.
And best scene of the week was David Platt, done up to the nines and reeking of Eau de Boy Band aftershave, tempting Tracy Barlow to give him what he wants for telling lies to her solicitor that’ll keep Tracy out of jail. Tracy assumes David wants cash and gets £100 from Steve after lying that she needs cash to buy shoes for Amy. David takes the money, but wants what else Tracy can offer and when the penny drops and she realises he wants her body, she laughs in his face and tells him it ain’t gonna happen. Oh, but Tracy, I think it soon will.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
Feb 26, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update, the one that puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step. Or if not that, then it’s the one that takes up a few minutes of your life that could be spent doing something much more interesting instead. And so, with a lovely cup of tea in my new SpongeBob SquarePants mug and without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Ken and Deirdre get a nasty shock when they find out Tracy isn’t entitled to Legal Aid if she wants to stay with her hotshot lady lawyer. Tracy pleads with her parents to stick with the lawyer, even if it means Ken and Deirdre could end up £150k in debt and have to refinance their house on an equity release scheme. Or sell Blanche. Whichever will raise the most cash. David teases Tracy and tells her he’s not sure if he’ll be able to attend his court hearing, well, it might clash with footy practice. In an effort to get David to do what she wants, Tracy gives in to his demands and snogs him in number six as a down payment on what David’s really after and promises him the rest after she walks free from court. But David’s a tightly coiled viper’s nest of teenage lust, hormones and cheap aftershave and seems ready to burst sooner rather than later.
In the Rovers, Vernon takes tips from Jack on how to be fully feckless. Jack passes on his words of wisdom of how best to keep out of Liz’s way by pretending there’s, you know, mice in the cellar that need sorting out. He’s wonderful, Vernon, I love him. Although not in that way, you understand.
Molly starts work in Dev’s corner shop and Amber’s no longer number one shop girl. So far, so good for Molly, although Kirkeh will have to find replacement help at the kennels.
It’s Rita’s 75th birthday and Doreen plans to take her out to get trashed on cheap sherry. Sorry, that should have read Doreen plans to take her out for a sedate, genteel brunch. Jealous Norris doesn’t want Doreen monopolising his mate and takes Rita to the Rovers for a few drinks and gives her a present of a cloisonné candle snuffer. What fun, I’m sure it’s just want she wanted.
It’s lads night out after Lloyd gets free vee-eye-pee tickets to a new club in town. Sean, Lloyd and Jamie are all done up in their best bib and tucker and Steve’s in a rather loud shirt. Sean bumps into Sonny in the pub, he’s out schmoozing clients and is soon snogging Sean who’s spied on by Steve. Ooh, too much alliteration!
Tyrone’s given a metal detector from a bloke whose car gets fixed in the garage. He takes his new “portal to vast, unimaginable riches” to the Red Rec with Kirk, Molly and Fiz to try detecting some metal. Kirk thinks he’s in luck but it’s just the steel toe-caps in his boots and when he finds an old coin he thinks he’s quids in but the penny drops after he searches online and realises it’s worthless. Bless him, but he does come up trumps this week with Fiz when he buys her an ant farm. Yes, an ant farm. She doesn’t know what it is or what to do with it but soon starts to love the little creepy crawlies and even gives them names – Ant, Dec, Adam, and Charlie Caroli, the world’s funniest man. (I made one of those up).
When Chesney tries out the metal detector, he finds an unexploded bomb in the Peacock’s back garden. I know, what joy, who’d have thought it wouldn’t have been uncovered when that side of the street was built on many years ago. But let’s forget about that and get back to the bermb. The street’s evacuated as the Royal Engineers Bomb Squad move in, causing no end of problems with simmering tension and domestic explosions going off all over the cobbles. First off there’s Sean and Sonny in number seven, getting friendly in Jamie’s bed and under his duvet. Going from camp to cruel in an episode and a half, Sean’s loving the deception of his fling with Sonny, thinking that nobody knows when both Steve and Jamie know exactly what’s going on. Elsewhere, the bomb scare comes just in the nick of time to free Tracy from having to snog Demon “I had a dream about you last night, Tracy” Platt again. Audrey’s evacuated in the middle of a demi-wave and fears for her customer looking like Leo Sayer if she’s not let back in the salon any time soon. And in the Rovers, Vernon’s missing when everyone’s evacuated but fear not, he’s just taken Jack’s skiving session to heart and has been hard at it in the cellar, you know, sorting out the mice, wearing headphones so he didn’t hear Liz calling him before.
As the residents decamp to the community centre, sober and scared, in come Doreen and Rita, drunk and a bit daft. They’ve been out all night celebrating Rita’s birthday and have paper umbrellas in their hair and shiny stuff around their shoulders to prove it. Leading the crowd (well, Norris) in a sing-a-long of We’ll Meet Again, the bunker mentality sets in as the bomb squad do their stuff and explode Claire’s garden gnome on the Street.
And Carla can’t afford to pay her workers the minimum wage to get her kids clothes stitched. Offering slave wages to Becky and Kelly, the girls take the work and agree to stitch buttons for peanuts. Becky even brings in someone from th’ostel to help get stitched up while Sally, Fiz, Hayley and Joanne moan in the Rovers. They reckon if the Connors can get away with paying less than the minimum wage to Carla’s clothes stitchers then they’ll end up doing the same to them too. It’s time for some action! a bit of protest! politics! or maybe just another barm cake and tea.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda Young
