April 2, 2007
Easter greetings to all you lovely readers of the Corrie weekly update. This week the update comes to you with chocolate on the side as an Easter treat. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
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It was the soap trial of the decade, apparently, as Tracy Barlow was found guilty of the murder of Charlie Stubbs and sent away to the big house for 15 long years. Mind you, the lass had no chance, what with the medicated Clare Peacock, the hormonal lying David Platt and Tracy’s star witness, the one she was relying on but who let her down in the end, mum Deirdre Barlow. Tracy never had a hope in heck of walking out of there free - let’s take a look at the trial. Deirdre has a panic attack and can’t face getting up on the stand to lie to save Tracy so she tells hotshot lady lawyer Jane that Tracy’s guilty of premeditated murder. After a few choice words from Jane to Deirdre that included “perjury” and “comtempt of court”, Deirdre takes the stand and lies through her teeth to save the fruit of her loins. “You disgust me,” spits hotshot lady lawyer Jane to Tracy later when she tells her she knows the truth about her killing Charlie. “And I also employ you, so shut up” was Tracy’s reply. And so, finally, Tracy’s found guilty and sent down for a 15 year stretch. She’s gone to the nick to stir some porridge (see, I know all the lingo, me). She’ll be in her mid 40’s by the time she’s released. Little Amy has gone to live with Steve and Liz McDonald in the pub and Tracy’s gone to the big house. Will I miss her? Oh, no. Will you? Best bit of all this, for me anyroad, was Deirdre’s very last words to her daughter before she was sent down: “Tracy-luv!” What else could it have been? A nice finishing touch. As Tracy’s carted off in handcuffs in a police van en route to <insert name of your favourite Sunday night drama series>, Steve rolls his eyes to mum Liz in the pub and wonders how he’s going to break the news to little Amy.
Janice follows Leanne next time she, er, goes to work for the agency as an escort girl. Leanne’s having dinner with her punter and as Janice goes barging in to embarrass Leanne and threaten the fella, he leaves with the fear in his eyes after Janice tells him it’s a two-for-one special on a Wednesday night. Leanne warns Janice that she has no intention of giving up the game and she’d better get used to it, otherwise she’ll leave.
There’s friction on the factory floor when two more Polish workers are recruited from the night-shift to work during the day. Janice makes her mouth go and comes over the Big I Am. “There’s a bad side to the day shift..” Wiki tells her fellow countrywomen “..and its name is Janice”. I thought Wiki was called Vicki and it was the way she was saying her name that made it sound odd, but no. I checked the credits tonight and she’s really called Wiki. We can only be glad that her surname’s not Pedia.
Dev buys new golf shoes, the black and white spats kind that daughter Amber says look like pimp shoes. To practice his prowess on the green, Dev plays virtual golf in the back room of the shop. Amber tells him that her dad that he’s using golf as a substitute to sex. What, in those shoes? Or perhaps he’s perfecting his stroke and aiming for a hole in one?
Clare panics when her new mate, the medicated Casey pops up and runs away with baby Freddy. Clare has to leave Casey and the baby alone in the house with Josh hurts his head and she takes him to th’ospickle. When she returns, Casey and Freddy are nowhere to be seen and the rozzers are called. Casey’s upset that Clare didn’t trust her. Clare’s upset that she did.
And start of the week was Leanne for leading Liam Connor on a merry dance after he’s bought No. 7 when Leanne was after it herself. She tells him he should have had a proper survey done and pretends this was the reason she backed out of buying it because her full survey revealed lots of problems with the house. Liam starts to get paranoid about his plumbing and edgy about his electrics so Leanne offers to sell him her survey for one hundred and fifty quid. As he hands over the cash, she hands over her survey and he knows he’s been stitched up like a kipper when Leanne’s survey reveals nothing untoward. He still wants to take her out for dinner though, but methinks Leanne will be wanting time and a half for her services.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
April 9, 2007
Hello and welcome to another weekly update of Weatherfield words plopping through your inbox and landing on your mat. I trust you all had an eggsellent Easter break and so without any further ado, let’s crack on with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
There’s high tension in a smoke haze at the Barlow household. The place is a fug of fag smoke and red wine as Deidre and Ken fall out over the fall-out from Tracy going to jail. Deirdre makes a new house rule and starts smoking indoors while Ken potters around in his dressing gown and slippers. Both of them are old enough to know better, but neither of them care and the insults start flying with Deidre accusing Ken: “Sometimes you sound just like that bloke with the pointy ears from Star Trek”. Ouch. Blanche takes herself off to her mate’s house for two weeks, leaving the Barlows to bicker. Even Peter tries to get Adam to head off to Portsmouth with him and leave the cobbles behind. Tracy sends a visiting order for Ken who insists Deirdre goes to visit her with him. Tracy plays her hand but it’s been overdone and Ken refuses to stump up yet more cash for a hotshot barrister to lead her appeal. It’ll be Legal Aid or nowt, he tells her, so she squeezes out the tears in the name of little Amy but Ken refuses to be moved this time.
Melanie and Jonathan Morton, new twins of the parish, plan their 18th birthday party this coming week. The guest list includes Bookers, Braddy, Mad Harry and the fit Goth from The Wethy Arms. Young Kayleigh has moved back in with mother Theresa who’s not proving as saintly as her name might suggest. Theresa’s gone and left young Kayleigh and the even younger (and so cute) Finlay home alone with no food while she swans off on her jollies and it’s left to Jerry to rescue his kids and bring them into the clan on the cobbles. Space is tight in the Morton household so it’s just as well little Finlay wants to set up tent in the garden.
Janice leads Joanne in a revolt at the factory over the Polish workers. She calls the cops and reports Underworld for recruiting illegal workers but when the cops come calling, it’s Joanne they nab for being an extra-terrestrial and take down to the cop shop for working in the UK without papers, not even allowing her to phone home. Joanne gets a grilling from a lady copper who’s got eyebrows that look surprised to be on her face. Janice is beside herself with worry when Joanne gets taken away and has to confess to the Connors that it was she who called the cops.
Steve wonders how best to tell little Amy that her mummy has gone away to the big house for smashing in uncle Charlie’s head. He tells her, for now, that Tracy’s with Edie McRedie in Balamory which could in fact be worse than being locked up in prison for 15 years, who knows? Steve’s being wonderfully tender with little Amy and reads her stories in the back room of the pub. Michelle hovers by the door then tells Steve she wasn’t listening (she was) and does her best to guide him through Single Parenting 101.
Liz tells Vernon she wants his drum kit moved, not only out of Amy’s bedroom but out of the pub. He’s distraught! How will he ever fit in a premature paradiddle now?
Bill Webster decides to buy Charlie Stubbs’ builder’s yard and asks Kevin to go into partnership with him as Webster and Son. Kev’s unsure but willing to let the free beer decide for him until Sally gets wind of it and tells Kev they’re not getting involved. Bill’s still keen to set up on his own so Audrey says she’ll put up the money and buy the business for him. “She should be sitting around knitting bad jumpers and drinking cup-a-soups” sighs Sarah when she hears about her grandmother not acting to type for her age, yet again. And let’s face it, we wouldn’t want Audrey any other way - growing old disgracefully, or not at all.
Sophie starts singing at home, hoping to be picked for a part in the school production of Bugsy Malone. When Chesney tells Cilla he wants to join the cast, she worries that her son might be of a musical bent. Chesney tells Sophie he doesn’t know if he’s got enough charisma to star in the show, although admits he’s not really sure what charisma is. “If you have to ask, you haven’t got it” Sophie replies with the confidence of someone who has.
And finally this week, it was round two in the golfing competition with Paul Connor losing yet again. He might have had the shiniest club and the worst jumper, but he lost to Dev (in his pimped-up golf shoes) and Steve (in his Rupert the bear jumper) as the three guys hit the green again.
And that’s just about that for this week
Glenda
April 16, 2007
Greetings and a very warm welcome indeed to this week’s Coronation Street update. The update comes to you this week sporting a new pair of shoes. Nothing else mind you, just a new pair of shoes. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
It’s Darryl and Kayleigh Morton’s 18th birthday and dad Jerry buys them a car. Lucky beggars. All I got was a box of chocolates and a bunch of roses. Anyway, there’s a birthday party to be had and have it they do. Even Gail and Sally get drunk in the garden and end up falling through the fence. Jerry’s doing his best to look after all his kids but he’s got another two of them on his hands now that mother Theresa has offloaded her offspring onto the Street. At the last count there were 59 Mortons living in that house.
Vernon proposes to Liz and she accepts, well sort of. “Alright, then” she says when he’s down on one knee, serenading her in the back room. Now, I’m no expert but “Alright, then” doesn’t exactly sound like a ‘yes’ although to be fair, it doesn’t sound like a ‘no’ either. Liz tells him he’ll have to sort himself out, get a job, wash his hair. “You are my rock” he tells her. “And you are my roll” she replied, which I thought was the most romantic dialogue on Corrie in a long while. As the punters in the pub buy Vernon pint after pint to celebrate his engagement, Liz is at the flicks with Deirdre (am I the only person left in the world who still calls them flicks?). Vernon was supposed to meet Liz at the restaurant but he’s dead to the world, asleep on the sofa in the back room of the pub as she sits alone waiting for him to turn up. Liz takes off her new ring and rings on to Derek the drayman who turns up moist with delight. The two of them have dinner together after he leaves his wife at home.
Eileen tells Jason the truth about baby Holly not being his after all. When it finally sinks in, Jason says he wants nowt to do with someone else’s kid, and who can blame him? Eileen refuses to let Emma into the house to see Holly and says she’ll fight for the right to hang on to that kid. Jason tells his mum that it’s a fight she’ll fight alone. Come on Eileen, let’s play fair and have a bit of toora loora toora loo-rye-ay, eh?
Gail has more problems with David who’s refusing to go to school to study for his exams. Every time these two come on the screen in my living room I find myself yelling out to Mrs Platt: “For gawd’s sake, just hit him”. Well, somebody should.
And finally this week, it may have been the biggest storyline, but for me it was the least interesting so that’s why I’ve kept it till last. Polish worker Kasia dies in the factory after a tumble down the stairs. She’d been working all the hours the Connors could squeeze out of her on the day-shift and night-shift, and tired and overcome she tumbled to her death down the Underworld steps. As she died on what was officially the nightshift – that’s the shift that the Connors weren’t covered by their insurance for – Carla and Paul decide to keep schtum until after 8am when they can ring an ambulance and pretend she was working on the dayshift. Still with me? Wake up! Just as they’re deciding what to do, in swans Sally Webster who spots Kasia’s dead body and starts to get suspicious. The cops are called and do a routine inspection but when they tell Carla that Health and Safety will have to get involved too, a shiver runs down her spine. It was hardly thrill of the week, but there you have it in a nutshell.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
April 23, 2006
Greetings and welcome (I know I always say that but I mean it, I do) to another weekly update of codswallop from the cobbles. This week the update has had a spring clean and I’ve dusted off its double entendres and cleaned up its commas. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
At Underworld there’s health and safety issues to be sorted after the killing of Kasia. The factory finally gets a clean bill of health and reopens, much to the disgust of the workforce who are convinced that summat’s up. They’re not wrong. The Connors try to contain the consternation of the factory girls but it all gets ugly when Hayley and Sally are voted as being the girls with the balls to speak to the men in suits in the office. Sally and Hayley put their case forward that they need to know the truth, was Kasia overworked? Was the nightshift illegal? The answer to both is yes, but to fend off the friction Paul Connor offers Sally a secretarial job in th’office and she changes allegiance to defend the Connors when her workmates have still got the hump. Oh how fickle she is, but then Sally’s always thought that she’s better than she ought.
Leanne gets chucked out of an hotel for soliciting, which is a word that always sounds to me like something morally right instead of legally wrong. The girl’s only trying to make a living but she’s chucked out on the street by a sniffy concierge who tells her he knows what she’s up to, vamoosh. She heads to the Rovers in a bad mood to be met by Liam Connor who’s of the same mind after a bust up with brother Paul at Underworld. After two swift halfs and a pizza in the precinct, Liam’s explaining the finer points of ladies’ underwear to Leanne in her bedroom. Next morning, Janice wakes to find her boss walking round her living room in his under-crackers (and the women of the nation swooned with delight). Leanne tells Liam she can’t see him again as her life’s too complicated to get involved, which is probably just as well as in this celebrity age of Bradgelina I’d have had to start renaming the happy couple Liamme.
Ken reads through the many letters of support sent to the Barlows after Tracy got jailed. There’s one from his ex-lover Denise but Deirdre won’t read any of them and rolls her eyes heavenward when Denise’s name’s mentioned. After Peter and Adam leave to set up a string of betting shops in Portsmouth, Deirdre and Ken are empty nesting and tension is high. She misquotes a bit of Shaw at him and he flings it back at her with a pinch of Oscar Wilde. How much more violent can it get? Clare comes calling, convinced that she was responsible for Tracy losing her case but Ken makes it clear that Tracy was guilty by doing a thing with his eyes that he’s never done before. It was almost quite sexy. When Clare realises that Tracy had lied to her all the time about Charlie, she storms off in a bad mood to give Ashley some hell.
Jerry Morton has the King of Sheds delivered to his back garden. It’s huge and has to be hoiked in over the house by a crane. Ashley runs off to complain to the Council but I love sheds, me, and I think it’s great. I think the plan is for Darryl Morton to use it as his bedroom but none of the neighbours like it.
Bill asks Audrey to marry him but she turns him down flat. She likes to know that she can throw him out if she wanted and could have his bags packed and him out of her house and her life if and when the mood took her. Bill says he’s relieved when she turns his offer down but his face didn’t seem that convinced.
Eileen’s wracked with doubts and guilt over baby Holly this week. Jason moves out, unable to cope with his mother putting her love and energy into a baby that’s not hers. Finally, Eileen sees sense, with the help of Gail Platt and through tears asks Gail to call the Social Services to arrange to give Holly back to her real mum. This storyline has run since Boxing Day last year and I am officially Glad To See The Back Of It. Oh yes.
It’s Gail’s birthday and Audrey puts up banners outside her house and the Rovers. “What on earth is this?” asks a stone-faced Gail. “It’s your big five oh” says Audrey who thinks her daughter’s 50 this year. It soon turned into a big uh-oh when Gail points out that she’s only 49, thank you very much. They share champagne and apologies later back at Gail’s house and Bill asks David why he didn’t say anything when he clearly knew how old his mum was. David runs upstairs with a sly grin leaving Bill downstairs with a worried frown.
Derek the dull drayman comes to see Liz again and the two of them smooch across the bar at the Rovers. Deirdre picks up on what’s going on immediately and Liz tells her mate all about her new man, says it’s only a fling and just a bit of fun. Derek pops round again and asks Liz to spend the night with him in the King’s Arms. That’s either a romantic pub or he’s a big Elvis fan.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
April 30, 2006
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update, freshly brewed and perky and with a big choccy biscuit. Put the kettle on, your feet up and settle down with your cuppa, as without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you'd like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
While Vernon’s reading wedding mags and lusting over visions of Liz in white leather on their big day, Liz’s got other things on her mind. She’s also got another fella in her hands as she and Derek the drayman have some afternoon delight in the sort of pub that people only go to when they’re having an affair. It’s all dark wood, secrets and stains on the candlewick. Betty keeps counsel to herself when she spies Derek visiting Liz using the front door of the pub and not the tradesman’s entrance round the back. Now then, we all know there’s a rude joke in there, but I’m too polite to write it.
Blanche returns to the Barlows and her oap-antennae picks up immediately that things aren’t right between Deirdre and Ken. The tension is high as Deirdre quotes Shaw at Ken and he flings it right back at her with a touch of Oscar Wilde. Ouch. Just when you think it couldn’t get any more violent, Ken offers to go to the library and bring Deirdre back a book. “I don’t have time to read” she moans in between drags on her fag. “You’ve got plenty of time to smoke!” he replies before flouncing off with his hair-do. Deirdre takes herself to the Rovers for a cry with Liz at the bar after Ken does his best to get through to Deirdre, but fails. Liz asks her mate what’s the matter. “It’s (sob) Ken (sob). He’s being really nice to me and I don’t know what to do (sob sob)”. You can imagine how bad things get then when Ken prepares steak and wine for his missus. He even puts flowers on the table and wears an apron to serve, but all Deirdre does is criticise and tut. Emily finds Ken later sitting on Maxine’s bench outside of the salon as Deirdre sits in the pub with her cigs and her booze.
Shirley the social worker took baby Holly away this week. Just in case we were under any illusion that the situation might have brought Gail and Eileen close as friends, Eileen laid that to rest when she told Gail to stop sticking her nose in other people’s business. As baby Holly went, there were tears at the Grimshaws from Eileen, Jason, Violet and Sean. Me? I’m just glad it’s all over with. Next!
Carla finds out that Liam wants her out of the factory. He’s had her desk shifted and all her stuff’s gone. With a face that’s got Not Best Pleased all over it, Carla takes herself to the pub and unleashes her bad mood on the nearest Connor she can find which just happens to be Michelle. When Michelle defends her brothers, Carla lets slip that she wouldn’t be so kind if she knew what they’d been keeping from her. And find out she does. In a fantastic scene that was Classic Corrie in the Making, Liam Connor comes clean to sister Michelle that her husband didn’t die at the wheel of the car as a drink-driver. Now then, in Corrie, red wine denotes hanky-panky, brandy settles nerves and whisky, well, whisky is for really bad news. This was a whisky one, as Liam told Michelle it was Paul who was driving the night Dean died and they moved Dean’s body into the driving seat to get Paul off th’ook. Kym Ryder as Michelle was excellent in this as was the tall, dark, handsome Rob James Collier who plays Liam Connor. As Michelle tries to come to terms with what’s happened, she reels in the back room at the Rovers as sympathetic Steve tries to snog her on the sofa. She gives him short shrift by the curtains and tells him he’s out of order. Steve’s clearly misread the signals but then goes and does it again later when he makes a pig’s ear out of the apology he tries to give Michelle.
Vera gets Jack to do a bit of dusting and cleaning round the house but it turns into a shambles, she should’ve known better. When Jack puts his pigeon mags on the stairs, Vera trips and falls and does herself a mischief. She’s now laid up with her foot up on the sofa watching TV and being waited on hand and foot by hapless Jack. When Molly picks up a baby monitor that Jason was going to throw away, they use it to listen in on Vera who’s sat alone while Jack, Molly and Tyrone head to the pub. Jack reckons there’ll be no escape from Vera now he’s got the monitor to carry and reckons it’s like being electronically tagged. When Jack pops off to play darts, leaving Molly and Tyrone alone, the two-some talk romance and babies and pledge their allegiance to the cause of living over the brush. Vera overhears it all on the baby monitor back at the house and when they get back there later, she says there’s cause of celebration so out comes the Tia Maria and chips.
And Violet and Sean hit the town together after downing something blue in a shot glass in the Rovers. They both get chatted up by one gay and one straight which gave Violet a story and a bit of dialogue for a change and a chance for Sean to give us his best chat up line: “Ooh, I like yer hat”.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
