March 3, 2008
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. The update's a
little late this week as I've been away on me spring jollies. And so, without
any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
And if you’d like your weekly update with pictures and fun stuff,
have a look here:
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
This was the week when Jamie and Violet did a runner with the lickle
baby, leaving their flat empty and Sean in tears. Violet even chucked her
mobile phone out of the car window on the motorway when Sean wouldn’t stop
calling her to find out why they’d cut and run. Poor Sean, I really felt
for him this week and tears sprung to my eyes when Sean broke down in the
flat and in tears at losing his son. I never thought I’d say this, but for
once, voting for Antony Cotton as Best Actor in the British Soap Awards
could be justified as he really pulled a blinder. Marcus does his best
and presents Sean with a framed photo of him with his new baby son, while
Ken dishes up strong coffee and sage advice in Roy’s Rolls. And Ken should
know about such things. Between Ken and Dev, the two of them must have fathered
half of Weatherfield between them. And just because I should mention it,
I will - with Jamie Baldwin having left Corrie, it’s the first time Coronation
Street has been Baldwin-free for very many long years.
Over at the Rovers, Ryan moves out to live with uncle Liam and his new
bride Maria, her that’s got th’bun in th’oven and not much going on in
t’head. Alex moves in to the pub, takes Ryan’s place at the tea table and
in Michelle’s heart while Steve continues to roll his eyes and tut. Why
he doesn’t put his foot down I’ll never know. I know I would have done so
by now. Michelle won’t hand Alex back to Wendy his real mum just yet and
it looks like she might never do so.
David’s teenage hormones all over the place, one minute he’s madly in
love with his Tina and the next he’s sulking in the shed with Darryl Morton.
I like Darryl a lot, he’s as quirky as Kirky and almost as loveable as
a certain Mr Watts was. Curleh-Kirkeh if you like. Anyone who lives in
a shed is all right by me, anyway, and those of you who know me, know that
I’d love to get into that shed and hang red checky curtains at the window.
But somehow I don’t see Darryl as a red checky curtains sort of a boy. Anyway,
back to David. He gets Tina’s name tattooed on his arm, which was painful
and a relief she wasn’t called Elizabeth. Darryl also gets tattooed but the
pain of it prevents him from having the word England engraved onto his back
and he has to make do with the embarrassment of an E that turns out looking
like an L because that’s all he could stand before the pain proved too much.
Tina’s not fussed about the tattoo and puts it down to David being tattoo
immature for words. So as David’s in the shed with Darryl, moaning about
Tina, Tina’s at Gail’s house with Gail, moaning about being pregnant with
David’s devil child. Oh yes, you read that bit right. Tina, played by cracking
young actress Michelle Keegan, is pregnant by Platt. Gail tells Audrey and
they gossip and whisper and decide not to tell David that he’s going to be
a dad, not until Tina decides what she’s going to do. And who’s this mysterious
Matt, her ex-boyfriend, who’s taken to driving her around in his jam jar?
Over at Underworld, Wiki catches Kelly nicking knickers to sell outside
of work. They’re reject knickers and Kelly sees nowt wrong wi’what she’s
up to, in fact, she sees it as recycling to save the planet. But Wiki warns
her off, saying that if Mrs Connor catches her she’ll not be best pleased
and will stamp her carbon footprint on Kelly’s behind as she boots her
out of the factory door.
And in the pizza place in the precinct, Leanne’s feeling down as the
place isn’t making much cash and Paul’s none too happy either. He’s got
Dan Mason breathing down his neck wanting his cash back that he paid out
to Paul on Jack’s betting slip win. Mind you, Dan’s got other things
on his mind when his date with Kelly goes awry after she goes off with
Harry the boss bookie. He’s older, wiser, more sophisticated and as he
reminds Kelly, he’s the organ grinder not the monkey. And there’s a lot
to be said for not going out with a monkey.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Mark Wardlow, Jayne Hollinson,
Lucy Gannon and Carmel Morgan
Glenda
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This
week the update comes sneezing and wheezing with a bad cold, a hot toddy
and a Lemsip. Atishoo. And so without any further ado, here we go with this
week’s Coronation Street update while listening to the new Duffy CD.
And if you’d like your weekly update with pictures, fan stuff and fun
stuff, then have a look at the blog which Corrie’s Yana Lumb says is her
new favourite site!
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
One of the pitfalls of having the builders in is having the builders in.
And the builders are in on Coronation Street as the new Victoria Street development
gets flung up off the cobbles to reach into the slate-grey Weatherfield sky.
If the builders aren’t in the caff flirting with Becky and drinking strong
tea with five sugars in then they’re whistling and singing at all hours
of the morning and really, just really, getting on Leanne’s nerves. So much
so that she yells at one of them as she passes him on the cobbles, because
she’s so fed up, and it didn’t half make me laugh. In the Rovers they’re
wearing their high-vis jackets and hard hats, flirting with Lauren which
makes Darryl see red. A fight ensues and a pint is flung which makes Liam
see red when Lauren whips off her wet top to reveal a red push-up bra that
he takes a professional interest in. It’s a knock-off knockers-holder (as
opposed to a Noddy Holder who was a singer with Slade) and Kelly’s been flogging
them at her knickers party under the label Chic Bird.
When Eyeball Tony the Catalogue Man suggested a nine month development
plan to Carla Connor, she didn’t think babies but she did think commitment.
His eyeballs headed northwards to the Victoria Street flats as they pointed
out a penthouse for her pleasure.
In the caff, a Rover returned when Roy came back from his African adventure
with a metal giraffe under his arm. It was the rainy season in Mozambique,
reported Roy, before giving High Fives to the Roy’s Rolls Top Team of bacon-butty-Becky
and coffee-croissant-Ken.
Over at Elliott & Son, Ashley had to set poor Kirkeh free as selling
sweetmeats and pork pies wasn’t making enough cash to keep them both behind
the counter. Chesney does his best to help Kirk find a new job and Claire
pops round to see how Kirkeh’s getting on but she’s appalled at what she
finds. There are mouse traps on the carpet, the washing machine’s leaked,
there’s nowt to eat in the fridge, no clean clothes, Chesney’s been skiving
off school and Kirk’s on the dole. Does Claire offer to help out her neighbours
and wait until Fiz comes back from her jollies so she can look after her little
brother? No she bleedin’ well doesn’t and reports Kirk to Social Services
instead. There’s a tap at the door and Chesney answers. “I’m Andy Partridge,”
says a strange man to Ches, “from… “ “XTC?” I quipped from the sofa, “Social
Services,” he said. Shame really. If it had been the lead singer Andy Partridge
from XTC he could have sung Making Plans for Chesney. After a tearful farewell
hug to Schmeicel (have you ever seen a Great Dane cry?), Chesney’s whisked
into care quicker than you can say “darn you, interfering busybody from across
the street with your long strawberry blonde swirly hair” and Kirk’s left
alone and upset in the house with only the mice as mates. Fortunately for
Kirk, they all get on quite well. However, when Kirk finds out that Chesney’s
been taken into care, it’s all systems go as the task force swoops in. Squadron
Leader Roy takes to the phones while Lieutenant Becky’s ready to tear the
head off the person who dobbed to the SS. Chesney’s been taken to Neil and
Marjorie’s house for a few days foster care while Schmeichel has been taken
away in a white van, possibly to a butcher shop on Rosamund Street.
Now then, Gail thinks she’s doing the right thing helping Tina come to
a decision over whether to have David’s baby or not. When Tina suggests she
might have an abortion, not only does Gail not deter her but she offers to
pay for it too. Tina says she’s been reading about babies, how they’re just
a collection of cells at that stage, the size of a peanut. “I can get rid
of a peanut,” she says, “But I’d have trouble with a strawberry.” Wait nine
months Tina and you can give birth to a watermelon. She decides to go through
with the abortion and colludes with Gail that the news will be kept from
David. It’ll end in tears, just wait and see. Best line of the week went
to Gail when David said he was trying to get gig tickets to see The Foals.
“The Foals?” she said, trying to be trendy, “Is it that trash mental music?”
Gail tells everything to Audrey, whose highlight of the week was a Victory
Roll in the salon. No dear, that’s not a new sandwich from Roy’s Rolls, it’s
a hairdo. She’s got beer-belly Bill on a diet, but he needs his pint and
pies to give him the strength to cope with Jason moping after Sarah who won’t
give him her Italian phone number.
Over at the Rovers, Michelle wasn’t best pleased. As she waved a teary
goodbye to Alex, was I the only one who thought her infatuation with him
was just a little bizarre? She saw in Alex her dead husband Dean and there
was a hint, just a hint, that there could have been more than maternal affection
going on. It’s been nicely played out and I hope the story has now been laid
to rest. With Alex back with his own mum, Ryan resumes his rightful place
on the sofa in the Rovers back room playing with his XBox and fiddling with
his joystick.
Meanwhile, the sale of Jack’s house went through which makes Tyrone and
Molly official owners of No. 9. Molly tells Jack that nothing will change
and he can still eat his breakfast in his vest if he wants to. Oh, he wants
to all right.
Elsewhere, over at Voldemort’s, the pizza place in the precinct, Leanne
and Paul are having problems. As well as having the most wonderful stroppy
waiter in the north-west working for them in the shape of Luigi who serves
up sarcasm with the wine list, they’ve got cashflow problems. They then
decide to take on a new waitress in the shape of the wonderful Amber who
turns up for her interview with her questions listed in priority order:
“What’s the uniform like?”
And finally this week, Paul was forced to pay back the money owed to Dan
the bookie man. Clad only in his Superman under-crackers, Paul was stripped
of his assets and his clothes as Dan called in the debt and sent Paul back
to No. 9 with a sheepish grin on his face and his manhood in despairing underwear.
Dan decided to celebrate with a meal at Valandro’s and wasted no time in
chatting up owner and proprietor, Miss Leanne Battersby, eligible divorcee
of the parish and a bit of a go-er, she of the escort agency, as was. If
you cast your mind back, Paul was looking for someone to wear white stiletto
shoes while he seduced them. Some girls are born to wear white stiletto shoes
and Leanne Battersby is definitely one of them.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Jan McVerry, Julie Jones, Jonathan
Harvey, Mark Wadlow and Chris Fewtrell.
Glenda
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This
week the update is looking forward to the long Easter weekend where it plans
to sit on the sofa eating chocolate eggs and watching re-runs of Brigadoon
for four days straight. And so, without any further ado, here we go with
this week’s Coronation Street update.
And if you’d like your weekly update with pictures, fan stuff and fun stuff,
then have a look here at me very own little blog:
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
If you’re sitting there reading the update this week and you’ve got a couple
of spare grand in your pocket or are looking for something worthwhile to
spend your life savings on, then my friend, why not invest in some property
on the cobbles? You could, if you so wished, buy 40% of Underworld as Liam’s
share is up for offers and the pizza place in the precinct is going cheap
for sixty grand. And Leanne’s a girl who’s always up for offers.
Let’s go first to the factory where Eyeball Tony the Catalogue Man (and
I apologise to viewers in Canada who haven’t yet seen him but when they do,
will truly understand) offered to buy Liam’s share in ladies’ pants. Liam’s
keeping a tight gusset on things at the minute, but he’s tempted, you can
tell. Does Eyeball Tony really have designs on lingerie or does he want
to control Carla Connor? My money’s on the latter. When he gathered Carla’s
family round and menaced “Marry Me” across the table to Carla, it wasn’t
a question, it was a command. Carla wavered until she saw the size of the
ring bling and then she caved in to Tony’s Northern rock shock. I nicked
that Northern rock thing from one of the tabloids after I saw it this week
and I liked it a lot. See, I always credit my sources.
We travel now a short distance from pants to parmesan as we go to
the pizza place in the precinct where business is bad. Cashflow is tight and
Leanne’s thinking of selling. She gets a man in who makes her an offer she
can’t refuse while Dev embarrasses Amber in her new job as waitress. He’s
aghast that a daughter of his can demean herself to work for buttons in the
service industry when there’s a perfectly good corner shop counter she can
stand behind all day.
Elsewhere this week, the big news was that Gail ended up in t’hospital
after she was pushed, yes pushed, ladies and gentlemen, down the stairs
by David’s fair hand. It all started when Jason got the wrong end of the
stick and heard Audrey and Gail talking about abortion. He assumed it was
Sarah who’d had an abortion and went to see Gail, all guns blazing. She
slapped him for his impertinence, and a good slap it was too, rating 8.5
out of 10 on the Corrie slap-o-meter but still coming short of the classic
Sally Webster / Nastily Horrid slapper slap. It was such a good slap I whizzed
the thing on the remote control and watched it again, twice. Anyway, Jason
left Gail’s house with her handprint on his cheek while listening in at
the back door was David, putting two and two together about abortions and
babies and he realised that it was Tina who’d aborted their child. After
a row with Gail at the top of the stairs, (her: “I did it because I love
you!”, him: “I hate you!”) David reached out to confront Gail and she ended
up falling down the stairs and into intensive care. She’s concussed, confused,
and doesn’t remember anything after the row with Jason, which doesn’t bode
well for young Mr Grimshaw. Did someone just ask for a picture of Jason without
his shirt? No? What the heck, let’s have one anyway. (Ha! You’ll have to
look at the blog for that one!)
David broke up with his girlfriend Tina this week but only for a while.
He really needs to keep that girlfriend, now he’s got the word Tina etched
into his arm. Either that, or he could embellish it a bit if they ever did
split up, maybe changing the tattoo into cortina or even gratination. But
I don’t suppose tattooists get much call for either of those words in their
line of work.
Over at Underworld, Kelly was caught knicking the knickers but Wiki was
sacked. Ah, you see, they’re clever these Connor’s. They knew Kelly was the
thief but they also knew that if they confronted her she’d deny all so they
sacked Wiki, Kelly came to her rescue, owned up to the thefts and got a slap
on the wrist.
Meanwhile, Kirk goes to visit Chesney who’s with the foster family, the
wifey of which answers the door to Schmeichel and Kirk. “I’ve come to see
Chesney,” Kirk reports at the door. “Oh, you must be…” she falters, wondering
who on earth the gormless lump at her front door with a dog the size of a
small horse could possibly be. “I’m his Kirk.” says Kirk, proudly. “I’m his
Schmeichel,” the dog didn’t say.
Over at the Rovers, Michelle’s mardy when she finds out that Ryan wants
to get in touch with his real dad, Nick. She gets all uppity about it and
is not best pleased but you can’t blame the lad, not after he’s had Richard
Ashcroft from the Verve trying to take over his life during the last few
weeks.
Also in the Rovers, Vernon’s got plans. Not content with masterminding
the revamp, he’s now planning a Smoker’s Secret, a backyard hideaway for
a quiet puff. Make of that what you will, I’m saying nowt. And background
music of the week in the Rovers was the newly released and downright awful
version of Echo Beach, originally released by the fab Martha and the Muffins
and now used as a god-awful theme tune for a dreadful ITV soap. I had to
mention that bit ‘cos it set my teeth on edge. Agh! I’m going to have to
YouTube the original version now, just to get that awful thing out of my
head. You know when All Saints released their version of Under the Bridge?
It’s almost, just almost, quite as bad as that.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Mark Burt, Debbie Oates, Jayne
Hollinson, Martin Allen and Joe Turner
Glenda
