April 7, 2008
Greetings, bienvenue and wilkommen to this week’s update. Come in, sit down, you should know by now where the kettle is, so let’s delve into the biscuit tin and crack on with this week’s Coronation Street update. As you know, I like a Tunnocks with my tea but I’m now obliged to point out that other biscuits are available. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
And if you’d like your weekly update with pictures, fan stuff and fun stuff, then have a look here: http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
There was summat in the water this week on the Street, summat that fuelled the men into testosterone towers of trousers and a hard hat. If it’s not a burly builder taking up too much space on the screen then it was a passing policeman or a fit fireman as an extra. But when macho masculinity was needed this week to stop David Platt ravaging the Street on his teenage rampage, the real men were in disappointingly short supply. Yes, this was the week when David not only admitted to Gail that he was the one who threw her down the stairs, but he then knocked his mum off her crutches, smashed her flower vase and then went out onto the Street to smash as much glass as he could. Bish! Roger’s car got it in the windscreen. Bash! Jack’s front window and Deirdre’s bay window got smashed. Bosh! Out goes Audrey’s plate glass window in the salon then the phone box and kebab shop and only Jason dares have a go at David as the men of the Street follow meekly behind him. Tyrone squeaks up: “I’m gonna tell his mum,” but she already knew. As the police arrest David for being in possession of a big stick and a sick mind, Audrey yells at them to lock up her grandson and throw away the key. And Gail? Gail goes “Oh, David,” with that look upon her face. You know the one I mean. And then Audrey despairs with “Oh Gay-ayle” Best line of all was Rita in amongst all the kerfuffle who was having her hair done when the window was smashed. She walked out onto the Street with the hair dye on her head, aghast that everyone would now know she wasn’t a real red-head. I know! Isn’t anything sacred? I got a text from my brother at that point, he was shocked, I tell you, shocked, and it may be some time before us long-term Corrie fans will recover from Rita’s revealation.
Anyway, with David in the cells in tears, Audrey and Gail get drunk on mother’s ruin and after a glass or two of gin, Audrey blames Gail for the way David’s turned out. Gail turns this round wonderfully (gin does that to a girl) and pins the blame firmly and squarely on the shoulders of the fragrant Mrs Roberts. It was all those years of being left alone while Audrey was off gallivanting with some fella or t’other that did it for Gail, she reckons. And that’s why David’s turned out the way he has. It was a wonderful touch from Jonathan Harvey and sets the scene for Gail’s real dad to turn up on the cobbles soon.
Away from David Platt and the smashed glass this week, Harry Mason’s been giving the glad eye to Liz. He’s got the warmth for Liz, you can tell. I was going to say “the hots” but at his age, the warmth is probably all he can manage. Vernon, bless him, has been doing his best but lets Liz down when his two builders go off on a cruise-ship gig for six months, leaving the smoker’s shelter in the Rovers back yard in a bit of a state. Liz berates her feckless fella but he defends his mates by saying they were musicians-slash-builders “…and we’re all slash-something these days.” Vernon’s next master plan is to revamp the menu at the Rovers. He wants smoked venison, jerk chicken and a lamb shank on the menu and hot-pot off, he tells Liz and Steve. I note, however, that he didn’t have the guts to run the idea by Queen Betty of the Hot Pot herself, oh no. She’d have flattened him.
Elsewhere, news of the fire at Valandro’s spreads like, er, wildfire. Leanne and Paul give their prepared statements to the cops but Amber’s truthful version of events could land them both in it, with a bit of luck. Janice asks Leanne awkward questions about the fire. She knows, does Janice. And Leanne knows she knows.
Meanwhile, Roy spots bat droppings by the building site on the Street. He takes them home, examines them on the kitchen table (as you do of a Monday evening when the telly’s not too good) and tells Becky that as bats are an endangered species, he might have to bring the work on the new flats to a halt. Oh Roy, what would Hayley say?
Over in the Rovers, Alex popped in to see mum Michelle and the two of them eat chips in front of the most appallingly bad bit of painted backdrop the Street’s ever had. All we needed was the microphone to appear in full view from the top of the scene and it could’ve been an episode from 1973 all over again.
Coronation Street writers this week were Peter Whalley, Simon Crowther, Joe Turner, Julie Jones and Jonathan Harvey.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
April 14, 2008
Come in, sit down, put your feet up and if you’ve got your good socks on without holes in then you can take your shoes off too. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly update with pictures, fan stuff and fun stuff, then have a look here: http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Poor Roy. Not only is he missing Hayley but he’s got living with Becky to cope with. He’s not best pleased when he finds Becky entertaining one of the builders and the pair of them are choo-choo-chooing around the living room to one of Roy’s LPs, the one that makes the sound of trains. That’s steam trains and old trains, locomotives from the golden age of railways, not last week’s National Express from York to London Kings Cross which features highlights of sound effects including guttural grunts of “Oi! You’re in my seat. I’ve got this one booked, shift” and the squeals of the passengers as the toilet door slides open (“eek” and “cheesus wept”) while they’re trying to balance above the loo seat somwhere between Finsbury Park and Hertfordshire North. Becky apologises, but the hurt’s been done and the damage has been caused. Roy’s also got a bee in his bonnet about the bats on the building site (ooh, I love alliteration). So that’s bats, Becky, bacon barms, and builders to bother him. Poor Roy. Tony Gordon talks Jason into smoking out the bats before the woman from Natural England (aka the bat woman) calls round. Jason does as he’s told, worried that if bat girl finds bats then the building site will close down and he’ll be out of a job. When Roy finds out what’s gone on, he plans his revenge. First he tries a sit-in on the site but he’s carried up and away by Jason and Bill. And when Becky finds out it was Jason who smoked out the bats, she does the same to him with a cigarette in the café. Anyway, Roy then gathers his troops around him and Becky and Kenny (as she’s taken to calling him) join ranks and head to the bat cave where they unleash the bat mobile! Yes, the Morris Minor comes out of the garage and Ken drives it to the building site egged on by Roy in the passenger side and Becky in the back. As Ken steers it onto the cobbles, Roy tells him where to park it. And when Tony Gordon finds out that the Morris Minor is parked slap bang in front of the building site so that the lorries can’t get in, his face will be a joy to behold. It might be a Morris Minor, but it’ll give Tony Gordon a Morris Maximum headache.
Over at the Rovers, the smokers’ shelter is finished and Liz has a celebratory fag and announces it open. Married life with Vernon is starting to grate and her head’s being turned by Harry Mason the bookie, she just doesn’t know it yet although he’s well aware of what he’s up to.
David was up in court this week and Gail was beside herself with anger and rage as he pleaded guilty to all charges. He’s to be sentenced this coming Friday and I bet Blanche has bought her bag of lemon bon-bons already. I know I have.
In the bookies, Leanne’s working behind the counter with Harry and Dan so the staff outnumber the customers by three to one. And that’s not good odds for business. There’s been another change of job over at Jerry’s kebab shop as Darryl told his dad he didn’t want to work there any more and a wanted sign went up in the window after Darryl chucked in his apron.
And elsewhere this week, Sean and Lauren planned their overseas jollies. I’m just hoping this is a ploy for Lauren to go abroad and never come back.
All in all, it’s been a rather dull week on Corrie. Although the bat story has been strong, there’s not been much else going on. Hey-ho, it happens, c’est la vie.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Peter Whalley, Stephen Bennett, Jayne Hollinson and Mark Wadlow
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
April 21, 2008
Come in, sit down, relax and take the weight off your face. The kettle’s on and there’s cake in the shop so if you want some you’ll have to nip round there and fetch ‘us a loaf on the way back. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly update with pictures, fan stuff and fun stuff, then have a look here: http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
It was Gail Platt’s 50th birthday this week and on the day when she should have been eating cake and drinking binge, she was drowning her sorrows instead. David was sent to the big house for four months in a young offenders’ institution for smashing up the Street and breaking his mum’s heart. Not one to let a small matter of her grandson being jailed spoil a good party, Audrey invited a cast of thousands to the house, put her best frock on and helped herself to the gin. To the strains of the Stones singing Time Is On My Side (Yes It Is) there were embarrassed mutterings across the Platt living room carpet until Gail’s mates and neighbours slowly left the party, Gail headed up to bed and Audrey got stuck into the drink. Mind you, that Audrey’s going to need to keep a clear head as Gail’s real dad has been trying to get in touch, the only trouble is that he doesn’t know he’s got a child, even if she is now the 50 year old patron saint of suffering.
Over in the big house, David was trying to cope with being banged up and lied to Gail on her visit that he couldn’t phone her as the queue for the phone was too long. The truth was that he called girlfriend Tina instead. But if David was hoping to get an engaged signal from Tina then he’s got his wires crossed as there was no reply. She’d already dumped him when things got too weird. “I need a break,” she told him. “I’ve had enough, I’m getting the bus.” David’s sharing a cell with a bloke who sings his way through the day starting with How Much Is That Doggy In The Window and dispenses hardened words of wisdom: “Don’t sit on any razor blades”.
After Roy’s car caused chaos last week for Tony Gordon’s mega bucks sky scraper, there was a stand off on the Street and Tony backed down after Roy’s Ghandi-like passive resistance. Tony donated ten thousand pounds to the bat charity of Roy’s choice, but ten thousand pounds is small change to a man like Eyeball Tony the Catalogue Man. Did you know there’s a Facebook group called Tony Gordon’s looking at me funny? Well, there is. Anyway, in the caff, Becky gave Roy a power hug in support, something which upset a sensitive soul like Roy greatly and he longed for the night to fall so he could check his emails from Hayley in th’Africa.
Jason and Becky are back together in the Rovers after Bill got them thinking and drinking in the pub. Jason had found out that Becky’s builder boyfriend Rick had a missus and a kid and he warned Becky, who took the news in her stride. She pinned Rick to the floor of the caff and smeared him with cream cake and tea. Atta-girl, Becks!
Elsewhere, Leanne’s hoping she can turn the burnt-out pizza place in the precinct into a late night drinking den and enlists Roger the plumber to give her some advice. She’s keen to get stuck in and feckless Dan the bookie man’s up for the idea too.
Over in the Rovers, Vernon’s got problems when Harry the bookie started chatting up Liz in the pub. He’s a flirt, is that Harry, and Liz is tempted but may have some reservations about a man who wears his glasses round his neck a la Larry Grayson. It’s a look that not many men can, and indeed should, carry off.
And finally this week, we found out that Dev’s a fluffy ditherer, according to his daughter, the wonderful Amber. Perturbed by this news, Dev seeks counsel from the wisest of them all on the Street and had a quiet word with Betty in the bar. “What kind of sweet would you describe me as?” he asked her. “Am I more of a chocolate éclair or a marshmallow?” Betty looked him up and down and gave him the benefit of her wisdom. “I’d say you’re more fruit and nut.” And you can’t argue with Betty.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were, Stephen Bennett, David Lane, Simon Crowther, Jonathan Harvey and Jayne Hollinson.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
April 28, 2008
Well, I was going to start off the update in me usual way by welcoming you in, offering you a cuppa and probing you for gossip. But I’ve just found out that Margi Clarke looks set to return to the cobbles and I’m a bit out of kilter. Margi Clarke, you’ll recall, played Tyrone’s mum Jackie Dobbs. She was the one who shared a jail cell with Deirdre, perhaps the only woman more shocked to find Margi back on the cobbles than I am. And that’s all I’m going to say, ahem, but those of us at a certain lunch with never forget a certain something. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly update with pictures, fan stuff and fun stuff, then have a look here: http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Kirk’s back from Cyprus and he’s got some big news for Fiz. She’s worried he’s going to suggest he wants to get back together and while it’s true that it’s matters of the heart that he wants to speak to Fiz about, it’s not Fiz he wants. And that’s when, ladies and gentlemen, we meet Julie Carp. Julie’s a divorcee, a lady of a certain age and as thick as two planks. How else could she think Kirkeh is “deep” and “intense”. “Hello Sausage!” she greets him when he walks in the Rovers. A reference, we can only hope, to the fact that Kirk once worked in a butcher’s. “Hello Snugglebum,” he returns before they rub noses together and get sentimental over a shandy. They’d met on holiday in Cyprus and are clearly made for each other being as thick as each other. “She only lives twenty minutes away,” Kirk tells everyone who’ll listen. “She’s lovely”. Actually, she’s great fun so far.
Audrey plucks up the courage to give Ted Paige a call after he’d left a message looking to find her. She didn’t want anyone to know but ends up telling both Rita and Maria, who egg her on to call Ted back and find out what he wants. “Hello Ted,” she breathes into his voicemail. “It’s Audrey here actualleh, Audrey Potter, as was, obviousleh…” She’s intrigued as to what Gail’s dad could be wanting after 50 years but whatever it is, Audrey’s going to find out. Truth is, he just wanted to catch up after his partner died on him this year. Audrey takes this to mean his girlfriend but there’s more to Ted Paige than first meets Audrey’s eye. She tells Rita later that Ted had a twinkle in his eye that he never had before. Anyway, Audrey tells Ted he’s got a daughter and that he’s a great grand-father too and that brings a tear to Ted Paige’s eye. When he finds out that his granddaughter’s a slapper whose husband is sleeping with the tart from the local café and his grandson is in jail for pushing his mother down the stairs, Ted Paige could end up wishing he’d never got in touch.
Gail visits David in the young offenders’ institution and Audrey tells her daughter she needs to take a break, suggesting she goes off to Italy to see Sarah instead of hanging around the Street. But Gail chooses me-laddo over Milan and stays close to David. Deirdre and Gail find common ground to talk about over Gail’s kitchen table when Deirdre pops round to console Gail and talk turns to their kids who are banged up in jail. This talk at the tea table was about the only scene this week not accompanied by a track from Duffy’s CD. It’s been played all week – in the factory, the salon, Carla’s flat and the pub. The Coronation Street soundman must be a big fan. Gail got her cast removed from her arm this week. She waved her arm about. “I feel like a million dollars,” she bleated. What, all green and wrinkly?
There’s bad news for Leanne when lovestruck Paul dobs himself into the cops and admits he torched the pizza place in the precinct. This scuppers Leanne and Dan’s plans to turn the burnt out shell into a posh bar and they’re worried the men in blue will be after them soon too. Paul comes clean to Jack about what he’s done and it fair breaks Jack’s heart. “You are your father’s son, all right,” he tells him, shocked. “I can’t even look at yer, get out.” Paul leaves and Jack gets stuck into the whisky bottle with Tyrone and Molly only too happy to help. The scouse copper comes to caution Leanne and Dan. “We’ve got nothing to hide,” says Dan. “That’s what Crippen said,” butts in Blanche.
The whisky bottle got well and truly trashed this week as the Connors hit the bottle when Carla cooked dinner. Tony flew off on a business trip to China leaving Carla and Liam alone in the flat when Maria waddled home, tired out. The next morning, Maria’s beside herself with grief wondering what went on between Liam and Carla but she’s got worse things to worry about when she tells Marcus that she hasn’t felt the baby kick for a while. He marches her to the maternity ward where a scan reveals the worst and the baby is dead. A stunned Maria goes back to the Street looking for Liam but can’t tell him what’s happened. He’s all loved up and promising undying love to his missus and his child, without the baby in his life then Maria knows she means less to him, so she hides her grief for now and it fair brought a tear to my eye and I’m not easily moved by such things.
Over in the bookies, Vernon’s spending an increasing amount of time and money there betting on horses that never seem to win. Even Dan the bookie man tells him not to waste his money but there’s no stopping Vernon who keeps losing his cash. He tells Liz he’s been offered three months on a cruise ship, drumming in a band and asks her to go with him. She’s not keen, you can tell. As Vernon practised his drumming in the back room of the pub, Liz has to leave him alone to get away from the noise. “Had a little paradiddle in your ear, did he?” asked Lloyd to which Liz didn’t answer but it could explain why her hair looks such a mess.
And there’s more loved-up malarkey for Jason and Becky as the two of them enjoy another night in the pub. Fuelled up on cider and with cans of cheap lager to take back to Eileen’s, Becky gives the relationship a moment’s thought “Right, I’ve thought about it. Get your keks off, gorgeous,” before she starts ripping Jason’s clothes off at the foot of Eileen’s stairs.
Best line of the week went to Roy Cropper. “Guess what I never get?” asked Becky in the caff. “The London Review of Books?” asked Roy, quick as a flash. Thankyou Jan McVerry, for the laugh.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Martin Allen, Chris Fewtrell, Damon Rochefort, Jan McVerry and Debbie Oates.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
