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2008 -
JULY 7
Tony Gordon makes Rita an offer she can't (but she
should, she should!) refuse. He wants to expand in ladies pants and
offers to buy Rita's Kabin. She doesn't need to think on, she says
yes to his cash price almost there and then. Norris sniffs that
she's sold out for thirty pieces of silver and Rita agrees, fully
aware of what she's going to do. She's old, she says, and she
wants to retire to the sun. “I could be Senorita Rita or the Queen
of Spain,” she cackles to Norris from the sweet counter. Did you
know that the Queen of Spain is the dead spit of Gail Platt? No
honest, she is, have a look here. Anyway, I'm now officially fed up. Rita Sullivan has
always been my favourite Coronation Street woman of all time. If
Rita goes to Spain, I'm going wi' her.
Tony also wants to
take over Kevin's Auto Parts but no one's touching Kev's parts, not
if he can help it. He's stern with Tony for “sneaking around behind
me back and poking yer nose in me premises.” He really said it too,
I didn't even have to make that one up. Kev tells Tony that if he
wants the garage he can have it for a million quid, and laughs off
his offer to buy him out. Somehow I don't think Tony will be put off
so easy. We never had this trouble when Mr Baldwin were in charge.
Bring back Ida Clough, she'd soon sort them out. When Kev throws
Tony out of the garage for barging in with a surveyor, Tony decides
to wheedle his way into Rosie's charms and get in her good books to
take a peek at Kev's finances. Daft tart that she is, we all know
that she'll send her dad up the swanny, for much less than a kiss on
a factory doorstep from a smarmy Scot.
Anyway, Norris spills
the beans to Kev that Tony wants to buy the Kabin as well as the
factory and Rita and Kev lock eyes across the pub. She wants to
sell; he doesn't. What's to do? “Tony Gordon's chasing you an' all?”
asked an incredulous Kevin to which Norris replied: “Oh yes. It was
like McCartney chasing Mills.” I had to rewind and listen to that
one again. By ‘eck it were good.
News of Liz and Vernon's
separation spreads like soft butter on a barm and Harry the bookie
is straight round to the Rovers chatting up Liz and dancing on
Vernon's grave. Ooh, you should have seen Deirdre's face when she
gawped at the cheek of the man. Liz packed her bags, full of
heavy-duty mascara and plunging £2.99 tops off the market and headed
to Jersey to stay with a mate.
Vernon's booted out of the
Rovers so he packs his bags and paradiddle paraphernalia into the
back of a van and drives off, all the way across the cobbles and
moves in with Lloyd. Blanche watches from a chair on the cobbles and
shouts obscenities at Vernon for giving up on his marriage. “Don't
mind her,” says Deirdre, embarrassed. “She's got geriatric
tourettes.” Anyway, in the space of half an episode Vernon goes from
feeling sorry for himself with a rendition of “You picked a fine
time to leave me, loose wheel, four hundred children and a crop in
the field” to singing his freedom with Lloyd in a singsong on the
sofa as the two of them belted out the old Viola Wills hit,
Gonna Get Along Without You Now. Vernon and Lloyd are so cute
together. It can only be a matter of time before they end up sharing
a bowl of pasta and shyly realise they're chewing on the same piece
of spaghetto. As an aside, Craig Charles who plays Lloyd, presents
the Radio 6 Funk & Soul Show (I said funk dear, funk) and if
you've never listened to it, you should, it's ace. It's on BBC 6 Music, Saturdays at 6pm.
Becky storms out of the café, the flat
and Roy's life after he says she's got the morals of a stray cat.
Now, I'm not so sure. There's a stray cat spending time in our
garden and it's really lovely although it does keep its morals to
itself, that's true, and I never ask. Becky replies with some choice
words of her own which cut deep. She calls Roy a weirdo. Ouch. And
she calls Hayley a weirdo too. Double ouch. Roy's so upset
with this turn of events that he hyperventilates into rubber gloves
and Becky moves in at Eileen's.
Fortunately, there'll be
space as Sean is moving out after he and Marcus find a flat
together. But their finances are up the creek when Sean gets sacked
by Tony after one too many extended, liquid lunches and Marcus walks
out of his job in a strop. The factory girls don't exactly
come out in support of Sean but mooch to the pub where Marcus muses
on postgrad courses he might take up at Uni. “There was erotic novel
writing, or sumo wrestling,” he said. “Why not do both at the same
time?” asked Betty while the wonderful Wiki looked deep into her
half pint and murmured darkly: “I alvays vaunted to be a doctor
buddit nevarh wurcked out.” It was the first time the factory girls
have been lost for words since 1974.
And that's just about that for this
week.
Coronation Street writers this week were David Lane,
Lucy Gannon, Martin Allen, Stephen Bennett and Jan
McVerry.
Glenda Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
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