Feb 2, 2009
This week the update comes to you covered in snow. So it’ll make a crunching noise while you’re reading it and bits of it might start to fall off your roof. It might also start to melt but will never, under any circumstances become grey and slush. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
It’s been Tony Gordon week on Corrie this week; he’s been giving everyone the evil eye. He wheels in Jed Stone from his flat in Wigan to do a turn in the Rovers which proves to all who see him that Jed’s not as dead as Maria said he was. Emily’s shocked to see Jed but over the moon and glad to reunite chap with cat and cap. Sunny Jim the cat looked pleased to see Jed but the cap’s comments went unrecorded. Anyway, all this Jed business gets Carla suspicious and she wings it to Wigan to treat Jed to a liquid lunch. Jed’s scared to tell Carla that Tony tried to kill him but when she spots the marks on his neck, she realise her worst fears about Tony are true after all. Run, Carla, run. Instead, she tackles Tony and her mind works overtime, especially when she hears from Emily that Jed’s had a heart attack after an altercation and she spots Tony’s henchman back on the Street.
So Jed’s not dead and Ted’s turned up too. Yes, Gail’s dad Ted Page is back on the cobbles this week, providing a shoulder for Ken to unload his guilty pleasures about Martha and her loveboat. “Lovely mugs,” says Ken to Martha when he takes a guilt trip onboard SS Utopia with Martha. It was an unusual chat up line, but it seemed to work nonetheless. The couple get cosy and he helps her read through her part as Blanche (not that Blanche) in am am-dram production of A Streetcar Named Desire. But Ken’s phone rings to remind him that he needs to pick up Simon from school. He cajoles Leanne into doing his duty for him as he stays on the canal for another drink with Martha, sipping from her lovely mugs.
In the Kabin, Norris is fair excited when Mary wins a motorhome in a prize competition. The pair of them are joint winners and over a swift half in the Rovers, draw up a timetable for renting it out with peak season and holidays coloured in on both their diaries.
There’s a fight on the cobbles, yawn, when the Windass clan (aka Shameless-lite) hit out at the Platts. I don’t like the Windasses. Not ‘cos they’re common, violent thugs, just because they’re not good. Anyway, David fights with Gary over Tina and David throws the first punch but ends up in t’hospital. Where’s nurse Platt when you need him? Tina lies to the cops and says Gary threw the first punch.
It’s darts night in the Rovers as the feckless fellas take on The Dread Arrows, a team which feature darts champ Phil ‘the Power’ Taylor on their team, and of course that team win. Eddie Windass takes to the oche and expectations are high but his dart hits the pub light, bounces off and spears Ena Sharples. I did a sharp intake of breath at this point. Eddie runs out of the pub with the Dread Arrows in full flight behind him, having recognised him as a fly-by-night from previous darts games who owes them a whole load of cash.
Best line of the week went to Rosie Webster when she went into Roy’s Rolls and complained to Ken behind the counter about the classical music playing in the café. “It’s Elgar!” says Ken, to which Rosie replied: “What does the L stand for? Loser?” Brilliant stuff from writer Jayne Hollinson. There was more for Rosie to pout about this week when attention turns to sister Sophie Webster. She’s started dating Ben from school. Not only is he tall, dark and handsome, he’s polite, cheerful and gets up at 5am to do swimming training too. And he’s religious which doesn’t need to be a bad thing but somehow mostly is when it turns up on the Street.
At Weatherfield Hospital, Janice takes a fag break from her community service in the canteen and sits, chats and smokes with Mike, one of the patients. After they’ve puffed and chuffed, Mike stands to head back indoors but has a heart attack and dies. (I can just picture this actor finding out he had a part on Coronation Street. He reads page one of his script and his eyes fill with glee: A role on the Street! At last! And then he reads page two: Oh, bugger.) Janice is beside herself with grief and when his widow sends her a bouquet of flowers, Janice gets to thinking about what she’s doing wi’ her life and reckons she’d be better saving lives rather than stitching pants. Good on yer, girl. But when she mentions to Leanne that she’s thinking of going into nursing, well, would you let Janice Battersby give you a bed-bath? “No, nurse Battersby. I said prick his boil!” Anyway, she asks her old mucker Ken to give her some tuition so she can get a handful of GCSE’s. Ken’s not keen, you can tell, but she reminds him how much time Leanne’s putting in looking after his grandson and another guilt trip flickers behind Barlow’s brain.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were David Lane, Jayne Hollinson, Lucy Gannon, Martin Allen and Mark Burt.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.comhttp://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk
Feb 9, 2009
Hello and welcome to the most romantic weekly update of the year. It’s Valentine’s day this week and so the update comes with hugs and kisses – proper friendly ones, none of those la-di-dah air kisses – as it celebrates with red wine and roses. Yeah, right. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
As a person who Can Not Cook, I’m almost warming to Eddie Windass who is clearly on my side. I can’t cook but I can bake and so can Eddie who turns out a mean batch of butterfly cakes in an attempt to woo the Platts. It doesn’t work, and the Platts and Windasses are still at odds over who punched who and as the wherefores and whatnots of woe are played out on the cobbles, the cakes go down a treat but cut no ice with Mrs Platt. “I haven’t been happy since 1978” Gail moans, and if a thought bubble had appeared above head it might have included happy days with her good mate Suzi Birchall. Tension between the two families gets worse when Len threatens Tina who tells David who tells Joe who threatens Len. What goes around comes around, all the way next door.
Over at Streetcars, Eileen and Steve discuss their new driver Boring Lewis and his furry dice. Lewis could be a relative of Fat Brenda and we may never see him either, which I think is a shame. Steve does his best to ignore Becky and she does likewise to him but they have a little entre-nous by the cab. “I’m ecstatic we’re over,” gurns Steve to barmcake Becks. “I’m euphoric!” she retorts. “Euphoric? That’s a big word for a little girl,” he says to which she replies: “You don’t work next to Roy Cropper for a year and learn nowt”. Desperately trying not to let Becky’s flirting with Jason upset him in the pub, Steve flirts with Natasha the hairdresser but both Steve and Becky know it’s each other that they really, really want. A-zig-a-zig-ahh.
Still hoping to be a nurse, Janice takes advice from Ken but he tells her to drop the book learning and be a care assistant instead. Patronising? Ken? Oh yes, indeed. What else did we expect? “I can do this,” huffs Janice. “I’ve seen Educating Rita, you know,” although I think it’d take more than a haircut to take 20 years off Ken. Perhaps a silk kimono could do it? Martha certainly thinks so and gives Ken the present which he takes back home and lies to Deirdre that he bought it in town for himself. Deirdre’s got other things on her mind and takes to organising Amy’s 5th birthday party with gusto, wearing a very bad bra. Despite the presence of any children, it was the noisiest kids’ party Corrie’s ever had.
Over at the factory, Liam locks in Carla and tells her he murdered Liam. All very predictable stuff and I started gazing into my living room fire as the scene played out. There were flashes of good acting from both Alison King and Grey O’Brien so it wasn’t totally bad, with some wonderful dialogue from Jonathan Harvey when Carla spoke about her betrayal of Tony with Liam. “Oh we had subterfuge all right. We even had subterfuge in me wedding dress!” But I’m tired of Tony and Carla and want this story to be over. Thankfully it looks like it’s coming to an end after Carla drove off in the rain as Tony sunk to his knees on the cobbles crying. Whether he was kneeling and not standing because he was overcome with grief as he’ll miss his lovely wife or the fact that she’d just kneed him in the groin, well it was difficult to say.
Another pregnant actress who left in the same episode as Alison King as Carla Gordon was the lady who plays Polish Wiki from Underworld. She tells everyone she’s going to Poland to look after her mum but we all know she’s leaving to have a baby.
So, is a macaroon a biscuit or a cake? That was the big discussion of the week and the answer is a biscuit, of course. Steve and Lloyd debated the merits of a macaroon before hitting singles night at The Fighting Cocks pub in search of someone to take Steve’s mind off Becky. Liz turns up which makes Lloyd think she distrusts him and the lads bump into Bill Webster who’s all backcombed hair and open shirt, with Eau de Desperation aftershave splashed all over his chest.
In the Rovers, Norris refuses a cruising with Mary and her mother. “It’s all shuffleboard and show tunes, what have I got in common with all that?” he sniffs as Mary disappears overboard.
And in the Webster household there were scenes of an harmonious nature when Sophie went out on a data with new boyfriend, Ben. He’s all “Yes, Mr Webster. I’ll have her back by half-nine, Mr Webster,” when Kev questions Ben when he turns up to take Sophie out to the flicks. Indeed, the only problem with Ben that Sally and Kev can find is when Sophie announces she’s going to start to go to church. Eyebrows were raised.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Joe Turner, Jonathan Harvey, Chris Fewtrell, Lucy Gannon and John Kerr.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.comhttp://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk
Feb 16, 2009
It’s been a cracker of a week on Corrie this week, what with three proposals and some of the most sparkling dialogue the street’s had in a while. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
There were three proposals this week and all were for barmcake Becky. Proposal number one comes from Jason asking if she’d like to become the new Mrs Grimshaw. She says yes when Jason asks her. He’s dolled up in a white uniform astride a Harley Davidson, straight out of An Officer and A Gentleman. Steve finds out and pops the question too in proposal number two. He’s all done up like a dog’s dinner straight out of the Streetcars office. Becky turns Steve down but isn’t too sure she’s doing the right thing becoming the new Mrs Grim. When Eileen and Becky bond over cheap booze and Freshco sausage rolls, Becky knows she can’t go through with becoming part of the family knowing in her heart she doesn’t love Jason as much as she loves Steve. Which is good news for Steve when he finds out and he proposes again, this time properly and with a bit of thought. And it’s proposal number three that Becky accepts, to become the new Mrs McDonald. Jason’s in tears and Michelle returns from Ireland with Farrah Fawcett flicks and it all kicks off in the Rovers when she finds out about Steve and Becky. She throws a pint all over Becky who tells her if she tries it again she’ll smash her smug little face in. “She’s only been here half a day and she’s already turned me pub into a battleground,” moans Liz to anyone who’ll listen, and everyone is.
At the Websters, Sally hires Graeme to come in and trim her bush but draws the line when he offers to pollard her cherry. She gives him thirty quid for services rendered but when Kev finds out he accuses Sally of wasting the Webster wodge and spends the night at Ashley’s in a strop. When he returns home he and Sally are mid flow in a good argument just as Sophie brings new boyfriend Ben home for lunch. Sophie stuns her folks when she announces she’s now a Christian committed to having no sex before marriage. A pained Kev, having no sex in marriage, looks at a shocked Sal and the pair of them almost choke on their carbonara.
Tony of the Underworld struggles to maintain control of the ladies who stitch and bitch. He’s the talk of the factory floor after Carla upped and left him and he’s in no mood to be messed with. So when the factory girls drop their stitching and take up singing, complete with disco diva moves to Hey Mickey, You’re So Fine, You’re So Fine, You Blow my Mind, Hey Mickey (clap clap) Hey Mickey (clap clap) well Tony Gordon’s not best pleased. He pulls Carla into the office and tells her she has to sack someone. She’s in a real dilemma, who to choose? Tony’s not bothered and won’t listen to Julie’s wittering, suggesting instead she writes one of those self-help books that sell by the till in Borders and reckons she should call it: Julie Carp’s Compendium of Cack. I don’t know about you, but I’d buy it if it contains such Julie gems as: “Do you know there’s a song for every occasion, evening leaving a cake out in the rain?”
Meanwhile, unemployed Kirk is getting on Julie’s nerves. He decides to become a stuntman and his forward roll on the cobbles is a thing of beauty, it has to be said, but it leaves Julie cold. She’s fed up with him throwing himself down the stairs and wishes he’d grow up and get a proper job.
It’s Maria’s first wedding anniversary and she tends Liam and baby Paul’s grave. There’s a dark, sobbing figure behind her at the graveside, it’s Tony Gordon in tears in a big overcoat and Maria warms towards him. She’ll warm towards him so much in the coming weeks that the pair of them will get quite hot, have to lie down and take off all their clothes. Just you wait and see.
Elsewhere, Janice continues studying for her GCSE and opens the maths book, which always left me cold when I were a lass, still does in fact. “When you’re times-ing decimals, where does the dot go?” she wonders bemused. I haven’t a clue, do you?
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Jayne Hollinson, Carmel Morgan, Damon Rochefort, Mark Wadlow and Julie Jones.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.comhttp://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk
Feb 23, 2009
This week the update comes to you piping hot and fresh out of the oven with that just-baked aroma. Or is it half-baked? I can never tell. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
There’s a new man in town when cool-hand Luke arrives to take over Carla’s dark share of the Underworld. Luke Strong - clad in black and driving a red sports car he’s clearly not the sort of man who would ever take a bus. He’s at odds with mad-eye Tony and loved by the girls when he tells them to knock off early and then buys them all a beer in the bar.
It’s Tina’s 18th birthday but there’s little celebration when Joe’s lock-up gets smashed up by Len Windass. The Windass clan want to put the frighteners on Tina so she’ll tell the truth about David throwing the first punch at Gary when the case goes to court. David wants Tina to lie through her teeth or he could become familiar with prison food again. Joe gets an offer he can’t refuse from Len Windass who tells him there’s 19, count ‘em, 19 kitchens he can fit if he can get Tina to tell the truth in court. Joe’s skint and tempted by the sleazy offer and gets Tina to tell him the truth about who threw the first punch. Will the king of kitchen fitting really dob his daughter in? Tune in next week to find out. Meanwhile, Gail reminisces about her old mate Suzi Birchall. “She was a bit of a go-er,” she recalls, and indeed she was, although my lovely man insists what Gail actually said about Suzi was this: “She was a bit of a goddess.”
Ken returns from seeing Peter in Portsmouth and takes his empty suitcase straight to the floating fun palace to see Martha on her barge. He tells her he can’t come to her opening night as Blanche du Bois, much as he’d like to, as Deirdre wants him at home making embarrassed conversation with Lloyd and Liz over a lamb tagine and a bottle of Frescho red. The dinner party guests assemble around the Barlow tea-table and Ken leaves his sulky soak in the bath and comes in his kimono (not literally). But his wasn’t the worst fashion faux-pas of the night. Liz McDonald had the bad-taste fairies working overtime with her two-tops of black lace and animal print. Which animal? It was really hard to say. I’m not entirely sure it was even dead. Ken manages to sneak away the next night to see Martha on stage and goes for a nibble afterwards before he kisses her on the towpath, always a good spot. Meanwhile, Deirdre sits at home with a half-baked moussaka and a worried look on her face. Ken, a man used to fibbing about floozies, says he was at the theatre with Ted. Deirdre, a woman clearly not accustomed to her fella’s fibbing, believes him. Yet again.
In the butcher shop, Ashley’s upset and confused when Graeme starts repeating his words, I say, repeating his words whenever he wears Fred’s old butcher’s cap, I say hat. I say could you stop doing this it’s really annoying, I say irritating. Could Graeme’s head be channelling the spirit of Fred? No, alas not. It’s a lot less exciting as Graeme fesses up that Claire told him all about Fred and his odd, I say weird, speech pattern and it was all just a joke. Ashley didn’t laugh.
Over in the Rovers, Becky tries and fails to bond with little Amy. Liz is upset when she spies Amy sitting on the kitchen worktop next to the oven, Becky feeding her a mug of builder’s tea and a fried breakfast. She ticks off Becky after she compliments Amy on her dress for an after-school party she’d just been to. Well, Becky did say to the kid summat about being able to pull the boys in a get-up like that. Liz, a woman who once smeared make-up all over her granddaughter’s face, tutted and grimaced, both at the same time.
And elsewhere this week, Michelle Connor starts work in the bookies and tries to grips with a double Yankee.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were David Lane, Peter Whalley, Simon Crowther, Damon Rochefort and Martin Allen.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.comhttp://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk
