Sep 7, 2009

This week’s update written by John Dean. Glenda is away.

Remember to Check out the Coronation Street Blog.

THURSDAY Seems like an ordinary day but then I notice the cage door has been left unlatched. I exit the cage and halfway down the corridor is a meat and potato pie. I advance and devour it and see another thirty feet ahead. By this means I am led to the UPDATE CHAIR. Aha! Mistress Glenda is away. I sit and the panel underneath the cushion clicks - it turns on the television. Black and white pictures flicker across the screen. Must ... write ... must ...write

So, Tyrone believes Molly is in a mood because he missed her half marathon while Kevin is complaining of being stiff. Well, he mentions it anyway. He meanders down the pavement and can't take his eyes off Molly's front door. Obviously, he has often walked down the Street
before but the pavement always stayed beneath his feet before.

Ashley confesses to Claire that he didn't have the vasectomy after all,even though it would have made a vas deferens to their love life. Claire calls him a pathetic, snivelling coward so that went better than he might have expected. Claire wants to know what he has in mind that requires him to stay intact - her dying or him getting a divorce. Oops.

Emily reports Ramsey was cremated in Australia. Rita wants to know what happened to the ashes. Which was Emily's chance to say that Pietersen's injury caused problems but Broad came through in the end, but she didn't. In fact Norris arranges for the body to be returned to
Weatherfield.

Becky announces a plan to eat her way through everything on the menu at Roy's Rolls. "Today?" asks Roy. "Before my remand" says Becks. But then she runs away, making a farewell call to Roy from which ("I hear a tannoy (British for Public Address System) and air-brakes") he deduces she is at the coach station. Steve goes and rescues her. Roy refuses to join in the group hug ("I have balm cakes to butter") but has at least made Becky's favourite - a vodka jelly.

Sally hosts the surprise party from Hell for Kevin where Claire wants to know if Tyrone would have a vasectomy and offers Ashley as a sperm
donor.

Jack agrees finally to move in with Connie. Tyrone is still convinced she's after Jack's money until he's taken to see what a fabulous house
she lives in. Obviously, if she's a gold-digger she must be good at it! He apologises for his past rudeness and wangles a season ticket to
Connie's snooker table.

Lloyd spots Slug outside a pub, rugby tackles him and ties him up with the white tape from the wedding car he is chauffeuring. He and Steve
cannot bring themselves to torture the truth out of Slug but the threat of Becky causes him to confess. They confront DC Hooch who refuses to be bluffed.

Peter has a brief fling with Naomi the Nurse. Blanche approves, envisioning the possibility of free medical supplies, but Simon doesn't like her. So Peter reluctantly says goodbye. As Naomi indignantly points out, it's the first time she's got the heave-ho from a bloke's 6-year-old.

And Kevin and Molly make plans for secret love trysts in the future - he tells Sally he is advertising the garage 24/7 breakdown service more and she tells Tyrone she is taking up Yoga.

This week's writers - Peter Whalley, Debbie Oates and Mark Wadlow. Directors Duncan Foster and Alan Wareing.

John Dean

 

 

Sep 14, 2009

This week’s update written by John Dean. Glenda is away.

Remember to Check out the Coronation Street Blog.

 

Tragedy! (when the morning cries and you don't know why it's ...) Leanne is discovered face down, cold and stiff. Deceased. Dead and never called me mother. Wearing her fur coat to the last. Yep, Simon's rabbit is no more. After considering whether he could get away with buying a ringer, Peter admits all to Si - "Leanne has gone to be looked after by Mummy" and Simon insists on a proper funeral where he makes a proper speech and Sophie Webster plays 'Bright Eyes' on her iPod. Blanche is in tears.

Becky has her final mixed grill at Roy's and says her farewells. But down at the cop shop she discovers the charges have been dropped. Steve
is so moved he goes to the bookies and puts a fiver on 'She's Out'. Turns out Hooch has 'lost' the drugs to be used in evidence. He concedes honours are even and he will stay out Becky's life as long as she behaves.

Leon's football team win and Jason is Man of the Match. They celebrate in a gay bar where the 'Mr Gay Weatherfield' contest is being held. The team decide to enter Jason. I'm sorry, I'll read that again. The team put Jason forward as an entrant in the Mr Gay Weatherfield contest and, of course, he wins.

Jesse advertises for a new HiaLowa and the first applicant to turn up is Halley ("Like the comet. Me parents were astronomical. Me sister's called Orion's Belt. Only kidding - I'm mad me!")

Eileen wakes up to find the house ransacked - DVD, TV, microwave camera, £50 all gone. Also the keys to Jesse's van which is also missing. And in a tizz she leaves open the door to the parrot's cage and John the Parrot wanders off. Not much of a flier but a sturdy little hiker. And he has a 1,000 word vocabulary - bigger than Jason's as Eileen points out.

It turns out Sean has brought home a young gentleman the night before who, on the 'first up, best dressed' principle has done an early morning sweep of the valuables, loaded them in the van and scarpered. And since Sean let him in the insurance company won't pay up.

Peter takes Si to Leeds to have a meal at the restaurant where Leanne works. There is a stirring in her bosom at the sight of the lads and she
returns to Weatherfield, pitching up at Janice "Yesterday I couldn't spell anaphylactic shock but today I are treating it" Battersby's. She has a date with Peter who assures her he's been living like a monk ("Well, a couple of women, nothing serious, no-one you know") and will never let her down again. Leanne obviously doesn't watch a lot of soaps because she takes all this at face value and hops into bed with him. Meantime, Michele returns to the Street ...

Daryl spots Amber snogging Mitch and takes umbrage. Or is that where the Archers live? No, right first time - umbrage. So he breaks up with her. She is devastated. (Why? Has she taken a good look at Daryl?) And when she tells her Dad, will he be DEVastated? DEVastated! Geddit?!?

Sally persuades Rosie to stump up for a holiday for her and Kevin, thereby putting a severe crimp in Kevin and Molly's plan to combine a blown gasket on the A40 with a yoga session. Tyrone observes that Ryan Giggs does Yoga. But nobody mentions that Kev is a ringer for Ryan Giggs.

And Blanche soaks her tired feet in the washing up bowl. But removes it from the sink first.

And there you have it. This week's writers were Martin Allen, Jonathan Harvey and Joe Turner. Directors were Alan Wareing and John Anderson.

John Dean

Sep 21, 2009

 

This week’s update written by Richard Whitbread. Glenda is away.

Remember to Check out the Coronation Street Blog.

 

Thank you John for the last two weeks and I am here as a sandwich filler before the return of Glenda from her hols. To be sitting once again in update towers is a great honour although John appears to have completely consume the Tunnocks I was promised for my literary efforts.

Where to start - well it is good to see Leanne back and knowing what we know we are hardly surprised when Simon (bless his cotton socks) happens to mention over breakfast that he much prefers Leanne to Naomi and Michelle. Leanne's ears prick up on hearing the latter and when they meet in the Street a little later she tricks Michelle into admitting it was her. Michelle gives the game away and Leanne takes Peter to task for his inability to tell the truth. She retreats to Janice's and packs to leave. Peter gives her the works telling her he loves the bones of her, but if she goes she should have a great life. And after making him wait she decides to have a great life - with him.

Steve wants Leanne behind his bar whilst he is away but she is slow over giving an answer and in the meantime Liz recruits Michelle who seems happy to be back behind the bar. Leanne starts looking for work elsewhere. Earlier Michelle had asked Peter for her job back but he turned her down.

Ramsay's funeral and Norris has agreed to do a very brief eulogy - at least until he decides not to go to the funeral. Rita then blackmails to go to the funeral for Emily's sake and he does. Norris is astounded by the number of mourners - including a group from a cricket club where he attended all their matches. Even Blanche admits that she liked the man - he had lovely manners and his only fault was having a brother called Norris.

Sally is preparing for her holiday, Kevin's preparation involves a lunchtime assignation with Molly in a hotel room. She keeps him busy and makes sure his alarm does not go off. Eventually Ty phones Molly and Kevin realises he is almost an hour late! She denies any knowledge of time. Kev is worried about missing his flight - but Molly seems to want him to miss it. And when they do try to leave the old breakdown van - has broken down.

Amber leaves the Street for university in London. Will she be missed?

Jack has let to live with Connie and his parting advice is that Ty should never put anything in the loft - just dump it you will never use it. They keep wondering where Molly has got to - even Connie turns up before Molly. Connie agrees that Jack should take Vera's ashes with him to her house. At the Rovers Jack is assured by Liz that he will be an honorary local for the rest of his life and will still get served.

Kev just about returns in time to depart for the airport and Molly for a final drink with Jack. Molly and Kev exchange glances as the latter departs with Sal and the former then picks yet another row with Ty - who does not have the faintest idea why! Later Ty seeks to apologise for the argument, preparing dinner (at lunchtime) for the two of them just wearing an apron. Imagination should not be employed.

The team in the cab office hatch a little plan and take a very old, very grungy tv and hi-fi equipment around to Eileen's and naturally she is totally outraged at their insensitivity and gives them a typical Eileen gobful and where they might put their junk. They troop out and then come back in carrying the very latest in flat screen technology. Eileen is for once silenced - very rare.

The funeral has however led to Rita doing some thinking - mainly that it is time she retired, like everyone else of her age. Rita keeps being hard on Norris pointing out how hard it is for Emily and the latter continues to be quite disturbed, although is very touched when Sophie asks for her support at church.

Becky and Steve are about to go to Spetses for the holiday she won - but Lloyd manages to convince Becky that it was not a real competition and she goes mad trying to check the validity of the prize. Eventually he admits to a very big wind up!

And as is usual in the Street Fiz overlooks telling Chesney first that she is marrying John any moment now and Kirk lets that particular cat out of the bag. Chesney rightly takes umbrage - which is definitely not where the Archers live.

Luke and Michelle's paths keep crossing - which usually causes some upset for Rosie. Also Luke appears to be trying to distance himself from Rosie, even trying to claim a night out with the lads when she wants him all to herself. Michelle however is apparently a demon darts player as she demonstrates to Luke who is then cornered by Rosie who wants to know where lads are - apparently they cancelled so she claims her rights!

Anyway the Ramsey saga is not entirely over. There is a package being delivered to Norris and he is the sole beneficiary under the will of £127,000. Turns out the package is a rather large and ancient trunk inscribed "RLC" - which Norris has to open. Later Emily leaves Norris alone with the trunk and he clearly portrays a troubled man, one who is starting to realise that perhaps in being so rude and dismissive he has lost the only opportunity to know his brother. When Emily returns he says he has decided to give the trunk to the charity shop and he does not want the money either. But although the words come you sense that Norris is starting not to mean what he is saying.

And that is that for this week.

I will just have a tidy round and then Glenda will be back with us next week.
--
K Richard W

 

Sep 28, 2009 

 

This week’s update written by KAREN JANKEL while  Glenda is poorly.

Remember to Check out the Coronation Street Blog.

 

Trust me to end up writing my first ever Corrie update when there’s so much happening on the Street that that they had to include an extra episode to cram it all in.  So, I should warn you that this is very long and has caused me to make a serious dent in Glenda’s supply of Tunnocks.  Are you sitting comfortably?  Then I shall begin:

 

At long last, the temptation becomes too much to bear and Norris finally gives in and opens Ramsay’s trunk.  The first items out are a teddy bear and Ramsay’s cricketer’s box.  This almost brings a tear to Norris’s eye (which I found rather confusing because I thought the latter object was supposed to prevent that happening).  However, it’s the bundle of returned and unopened letters from Ramsay to their mother which really tug at Norris’s heartstrings and when Emily finds a letter from their mother to Ramsay, telling him that she had another son, Norris, and a new life and that he would ruin everything and to please leave her alone, it finally opens the floodgates.  Norris acknowledges, alas too late, that he misjudged both his mother and Ramsay and desperately wishes that he could turn back the clock and give his long lost brother the warm welcome he deserved.

 

Fortunately, it doesn’t take too much to revive his spirits.  Norris has a lightbulb moment when he realises how he can do something meaningful with the money which Ramsay has left him.  Rita has been hinting for several weeks about her desire to retire, and so she doesn’t need much persuading when a very over-excited Norris puts his plan to her to buy her half of the Kabin.  The arrangements are soon sorted out over a round in the Rovers where Norris declares he feels like he’s won an Oscar and Rita announces that she’s going to spend a large chunk of the proceeds by taking herself off on a round-the-World cruise.  In less time than it takes to climb a stepladder, Norris is hard at work with his paint-scraper, removing all traces of Rita’s name from above the shop door.

 

Just as Rita is talking about leaving, Amber is arriving back having only left for Uni in London a few days before.  “It’s Freshers’ week and we don’t have any lectures,” she says by way of explanation but it soon becomes clear that the reason has more to do with the fact that she’s missing Darryl.

 

Meanwhile, with Michelle back on the Street and behind the bar at the Rovers, there’s plenty of opportunity for some flirting with Luke who’s very keen to get things back together with her.  There’s just the small problem of Rosie but he promises Michelle that he’s going to end it with her that evening and arranges for Rosie to go round to his flat so that he can tell her.  Rosie, meanwhile, is being given a few home truths by Janice about her designs. “Draw a few frills round the backside of a stick man and you think you’re Stella McCartney”, declares Janice.  Luke makes the mistake of taking the more subtle route when he has “the talk” and, before he knows it, Rosie has turned the situation around and invited herself to move in with him.

 

By the following morning, Luke’s having second thoughts and this time when he tells Michelle he’s going to dump Rosie, he’s as good as his word, choosing the bar of the Rover’s Return to do the deed.  This provides plenty of entertainment for the punters, especially when Rosie sobs that she’s already put down a deposit on a big lip sofa. 

 

There are a few more lips being put to work at Jason and Tina’s party that evening.  The purpose of this particular shindig is twofold: a) to demonstrate to us mere mortals how to throw a party with five minutes’ notice and only enough cash to buy a couple of packets of cheesy puffs and b) as a vehicle to allow Darryl to get back together with Amber, David to show off his latest bit of hot stuff, Graeme to try it on with Natasha (and fail miserably), Ben Thompson (a.k.a. Ryan) to showcase his guitar playing and singing talents,  Fiz to celebrate her birthday,  Luke and Michelle to do things which you really shouldn’t do in polite company and Rosie to see them at it, resulting in a cat fight which involves Michelle losing a clump of hair and Rosie ending up in a crumpled heap on the cobbles. 

 

Rosie of course is not one to take anything lying down (well, apart from half the male population of Weatherfield) and is soon plotting her revenge, making use once again of her old weapon, the mobile phone.  This time she pinches Luke’s and uses it to set him up.  However, it’s going to take a lot more than Luke’s plea of “I can explain” to convince Michelle of his innocence when she is lured to his flat by the steamy promises made in a text message which she believes to be from him.  She arrives just in time to find Luke lying on the bed in his boxers and Rosie looking even more ready for action than usual.

 

When Dev discovers the real reason for Amber’s return home, he’s none too pleased and hatches a plot to break up the newly rekindled romance.  At first Darryl rejects Dev’s bribe of £500 to go and buy himself a new life in Spain but then he realises that Amber’s future is more important and that only by him moving away will she agree to resume her studies.  So he breaks the news to her (conveniently not mentioning how he can afford to go) and Amber storms off, presumably back to London.

 

Back at the Kabin, Norris is getting stuck in to his new role as sole proprietor.  First item on the agenda is the recruitment of a new member of staff but with the only applicants being of the calibre of Kirk and Teresa he’s not having much luck.  That is until the arrival of a larger than life new character, Sheila Wheeler, who is so named in order to get in a quip about car insurance and to whom Norris decides to offer the job, in spite of her dodgy knees.

 

Last, but certainly by no means least, while all of this has been is going on, Fiz is preparing for her big day.  She has her dress, hair and make-up all sorted.  The only thing missing are any guests which is hardly surprising since most of the Street don’t even know she’s planning to get married.  The only people that do know have excuses why they can’t be there, some more plausible than others.  Chesney, of course, continues to be devastated by the thought of his sister marrying “that freak” and Hayley and Roy couldn’t possibly condone the wedding with him feeling that way.

 

Finally Fiz’s chariot awaits in the form of Eddie Windass’s taxi.  Anna is horrified by the state it’s in and whilst she does her best to clean up the worst of the rubbish on the back seat it gives enough time for Fiz to be spotted waiting on the Street in her wedding dress and Kelly to totter (at surprising speed given the height of her heels and the tightness of her skirt) back to the factory to break the news.  They all come rushing over to wish her luck; all that is except Rosie who takes it as another opportunity to give Fiz a torrent of abuse.

 

So, Fiz arrives at the prison to find John waiting in his suit and the registrar hovering in the background.  John can sense that all is not well and tells Fiz he can’t marry her unless she’s totally honest with him.  So the registrar does some more discreet hovering while Fiz explains why there are no guests and, in particular, how hostile everyone is towards John, especially Chesney.  The result of all of this is that while John is still prepared to marry Fiz she realises she can’t marry him without Chesney’s blessing.  So a dejected John returns to his cell and Fiz rushes out of the prison and calls a taxi.

 

Meanwhile, back on the Street, Gary Windass, who has become quite close to Ches of late, is using a bit of reverse psychology on him.  It finally dawns on Chesney that deep down he really loves his sister and perhaps he’ been a bit hard on her.  So much so that the sight of a good luck card from Kirk makes him wish that he’d gone to the wedding after all.  He rushes over to Roy’s Rolls to borrow some money to book a cab.  “What are you waiting for?” Anna asks Roy and Hayley, reminding them that they own a car.  So, pausing only for Roy to change his cardie and collect their visiting orders, they all pile into The Woody and set off for Weatherfield nick.  Unfortunately, as Hayley explains, the car can only do 40 downhill with the wind behind them so by the time they reach the prison, Fiz is already in the back of her cab.

 

Luckily, they spot each other just in time for Fiz and Chesney to leap out of their respective vehicles and have a bit of a Cathy and Heathcliff moment in the middle of the road.  Chesney says sorry for missing the wedding and Fiz sobs that there was no wedding.  When Ches asks why she tells him that it’s because he wasn’t there.  “I’m here now,” he declares poignantly as the credits roll.

 

Phew!  That’s finally it.  Writers for these episodes were Stephen Russell, Damon Rochefort, Jonathan Harvey, John Kerr and Mark Burt. 

 

Don’t forget that if you'd like your Coronation Street weekly update with pictures and fun stuff, then you might enjoy the Coronation Street blog at http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com or you can follow it on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/corrie_blogger.  

 

Karen Jankel (standing in for Glenda)

 


Witten by Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.

 

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