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2009 -
JUNE 8
Anyway, it's all go in the Rovers when that Betty,
ooh, she really gets on Poppy's nerves, so much so that Poppy
threatens to sack her. Sack Betty? After 40 years behind the bar of
the Rovers? When it comes to this particular Corrie cat-fight there could only ever be one
winner and it ain't pretty Poppy. Mind you, I'm sad she's gone, I was
warming to her with her winning smile and sarcastic side but
this week she not only sacked Betty but she upset Sean about his
weight gain and insulted Steve and Becky. Steve doesn't know what to
do for the best so he does what most men do in his situation, he dithered a bit, waited for someone
else to take the lead and then called his mum. There's no answer
from
Spain,
Liz is obviously out enjoying the etcetera along with her sun and
sand. Becky makes Steve's mind up for him as she throws Poppy
out of the pub, by the hair and through the back door. Steve and
Sean look on, impressed, and just a little scared. There was some
wonderful dialogue from writer Chris Fewtrell in all these raucous Rovers goings-on.
Sean: “You have to remember, Betty's like a vintage wine.” Steve:
“What do you mean? She improves with age?” Sean: “No, she turns to
vinegar.” And as Poppy gets thrown out of the Rovers she
defends herself against Betty who's slow behind the bar:
“You've got more chance of moving the Pennines”. Wonderful stuff.
Not so wonderful to this
Corrie fan, but perhaps you'll disagree,
who knows? is the David Platt and Gary
Windass story. With
Audrey and Gail off to Milan,
mi-laddo David takes advantage of
Audrey's empty house and broken
burglar alarm to set Gary Windass up to
rob the place. With Graeme in camouflage up the tree opposite
Audrey's house, it's all systems
go. “Porkpie to Mr Savaloy” says Graeme,
using crime codewords as he reports back
to David on what's going on at
Audrey's. But just as
Gary is breaking and
entering, along comes granddad Ted with Classic FM and a
John Grisham novel (was I the only
one surprised that Ted reads John
Grisham? Not that I have anything against Mr G, I've enjoyed his
books in the past, but I never had Ted down as a
John Grisham reader).
Gary's upstairs looting
Audrey's drawers while Ted's
downstairs doing a spot of house-sitting and so
Gary barges out of the
house and bumps into Ted who eventually has a heart attack from the
shock. Gary finally puts
two and two together and realises David's
set him up so he'll get nicked by the cops while Ma and Mr Windass shuffle around their sofa with a bad
expression on their face going “Eeeeh, our
Gary”, etc.
Over in the posh part of town, Bill Webster heads
to a single's bar and so does Aunty Pam, only they don't know first
off that each other is there. Bill meets a wealthy woman who's vowels would never dare be on the flat side
and she calls herself Vanessa. Bill rises to the occasion, lies
through his teeth, says he was a paratrooper and calls himself Newt.
Pam does much the same when she meets an industrial magnate in magnets, she lies and says she's a concert
pianist called Stella: “I was touted as the new Bobby Crush at one
time. Liberace in a frock.” Later,
Newt and Stella (aka Bill and Pam) take
high tea in a posh hotel with Vanessa and Gilbert. Vanessa wants
Newt to visit her foxhole while Gilbert wants Stella's fingers
running up and down his organ. It's only later in the Rovers when
Newt and Stella become Pam and Bill again that they realise they could enjoy each other's company if
they tried. Pam's not sure, well, after four failed marriages behind
her, who would be? And hasn't Bill failed in the marital department
at least twice too?
With Gail in
Spain,
Joe falls mainly on the plain and ordinary kitchen he fitted and it
all falls apart in his hands after he goes berserk when he can't
find his painkillers. He's addicted to them. His lights are on, but
he's not home, his mind is not his own, his heart sweats, his body
shakes, another pill is all it takes. Whoa. He likes to think that
he's immune to the stuff but he might as well face it, he's addicted
to the extra-strength prescription pills from his GP.
Someone
else who admits his addiction this week is Peter Barlow. Ken gives
him a pamphlet (I love that word) about an Alcoholics Anonymous
meeting and at first Peter resists but then gives in and goes after
he loses his temper with little Simon. And that now in Corrie has become Unforgivable Sin No. 34.
Unforgivable Sin No. 17, as Poppy would have done well to take heed
of, is of course Thou Shalt Not Upset
Betty. So Peter's at the AA meeting and he knows he has to voice
those words that he finds hard to say. He swallows, takes a deep
breath and finds it in himself to speak out loud and clear. “My name
is Peter Barlow. And I'm a…” he falters. “Ex-Naval
Officer! Bigamist! Bookie! Twin!” we shouted from the sofa.
“..an alcoholic.” Peter admits. Blanche
says it's all well and good saying things
without meaning them but it seems like Peter's trying his best, for
now.
And that's just about that for this week.
Find
out more about these Coronation Street Weekly
Updates.
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2009/03/sign-up-for-coronation-street-weekly.html
Coronation
Street writers this week were
David Lane, Mark
Wadlow, Chris Fewtrell and Peter
Whalley.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at
http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
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